Starting Up in a Fresh Cycle

My wife let me out for some fun last night, and this morning I’m back in the cage beginning a fresh cycle. Starting up is always tough for me; I often ask myself why I’m bothering with it all. But after about a week or so, that pleasure of being locked away returns, and things start to feel easier again. Does anyone else share these experiences?

I assume "out to play" means you finished with an orgasm. What you're experiencing seems quite typical. I've discovered two things that help me significantly. First is withholding permission for the orgasm. The fewer times I climax, the less frequently I hit this rough patch. Naturally, there's a flip side which might not work as well for you as it does for us. Second is being locked back up immediately after climaxing. When that happens, it kicks me right back into gear. During my last cycle, once I reached orgasm, they put me back in the lock within 30 minutes, possibly even sooner. They gave me a minute or two to catch my breath and savor it before telling me to secure myself again. I still question "why am I doing this?" the next day, but by then I'm already locked up again. It feels like the closest real-life version of that involuntary lock-up fantasy. It's genuinely a strong sensation. -A

> Atone wrote: > First is to not be given permission for the orgasm. The fewer times I climax, the less often I go through this struggle. Obviously there's another side to this that might not suit you as well. We experiment with this intermittently. It helps maintain the tension of the tease. > Second is being locked back up right after the orgasm. If or when I reach that point, it pulls me forward immediately. Last time I climaxed, they put me in the lock within 30 minutes, maybe a bit less. They allowed a minute or two to enjoy the moment (catch my breath) before ordering me to secure myself. I find this quite challenging (anything "forced" on me after climaxing is tough), but soon it turns into something incredibly arousing.

It is always tough for me to start a new cycle. Last year, I went on a marathon (for me anyway) early in the year, and then never really got on track after that. This year, we have gone through several cycles, and periods of time of intense breaks and real life in between. A couple of things I notice: 1. The closer I am to my wife, the more likely we are to play and get a new cycle going. 2. Real life stresses (family, money, illness, work) can derail things for a while. It is important to have realistic expectations, and it is OK to put things on hold for a while when you are dealing with more pressing matters. 3. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and get a new cycle going, even if you don't feel like it. For me, it is like getting up early or going to the gym---I can't always get the momentum going to do these things, but once I do, I rarely regret it. 4. It is good to experiment with different lengths of time. Sometimes, I go on a long streak and don't want it to end. Other times, it is good to start a new. 5. You don't always need a chastity device to show some discipline.

> member_739aedeea6 wrote: Is there anyone else in the same boat or have had the same feelings? Let me know. Yes, absolutely! For me it takes about 4-5 days before I'm once again a happily chaste hubby. Since my wife likes shorter cycles, it makes it even harder to get things going sometimes. Last cycle was only 4 days, so I was just getting into the groove when she wanted me to cum for her. Talk about not wanting to cum yet! And then she wanted me to cum again the next day, and the day after that! I mean, yes, she's entitled to have me cum when she wants, but I do enjoy (and want) some denial . Oh well, whatever makes her happy.:)

There are many dimensions to this. Once I'm satisfied physically I'm not as interested—and that is a completely natural reaction. However I'm keenly aware of the psychological aspect of chastity and I don't want to confuse my KH about my long term desires so I jump back in as soon as I can. For me it's about discipline. Unless I'm out for a reason—like riding my bike—then I'm in unless my KH wants me out. It doesn't matter if it's 10 minutes or 10 days after orgasm. For sure though there are times when I feel a bit silly pursuing this fetish/kink when our lives are impacted by larger issues. Those are the times though when I back off from my desires for a while until life settles down.

> member_381064b05f wrote: > I find this to be the most difficult thing (pretty much anything I'm "forced" to do after coming is difficult), but shortly afterwards it becomes incredibly hot. For me, it's all about the 'being **forced**', whether it's before or after. I find that I am somewhat disappointed if she does not insist on immediate re-locking after orgasm, preferably being restrained prior to unlocking and then re-locked before being released. Several times recently she has decided to 'leave me free' (for a while) after orgasm and I have found it to be a letdown. I find the lack of control/choice and the use of force to be erotic. There are a number of things I would not do and would not find erotic if I had a choice and were not forced, but the idea (and reality) of being forced causes them to become erotic. There is one 'after intercourse' activity that my wife has found greatly pleasurable, but it is something I would never do of my own free will and no matter how erotic it might seem *before* orgasm (and extremely horny), *after* orgasm, if I am not forced, it isn't going to happen. Being forced and having no choice in the matter causes me to become aroused again (which is somewhat unusual since I'm not as young as I once was when I was good for 5 or 6 times a day).

For me getting told to put the cage on right after cumming is hot but still very hard to do and at times I have put up quite a bit of resistance even when I have promised to go back in right away as part of the being allowed to cum, This does not please my wife we have a few words and then I get locked up again. I think it is a mental thing as I to suffer from thinking why the heck am I doing this, After 4 or 5 days of being in the cage I settle and I again get the feelings that makes me want to remain locked in the device, When told that I can have a release I sometimes think about how hard it is going to be to get back to the stage I am at pre-orgasm and wonder if I should cum, but these thoughts dont last long. As usual my lust for an orgasm wins and its back to square one but it is fun when in a period of denial as long as my wife keeps up with the tease, I for my part give my wife plenty of attention when in the cage, But if there is none coming my way I can have a few difficult days, Oh for us both to have matching libido.

> member_1f353e1d87 wrote:I find the lack of control/choice and the use of force to be erotic. There are a number of things I would not do and would not find erotic if I had a choice and were not forced, but the idea (and reality) of being forced causes them to become erotic. There is one 'after intercourse' activity that my wife has found greatly pleasurable, but it is something I would never do of my own free will and no matter how erotic it might seem *before* orgasm (and extremely horny), *after* orgasm, if I am not forced, it isn't going to happen. I've mentioned this mindset to my wife, who has occasionally used this to her advantage. And what gets me, is that even though I *know* how it's going to play out, I still can't help being sucked into the Hot - Not - Hot Again cycle.

You can't always defeat the hormone cocktail in you brain by rationalizing things. I've tried. It's like trying to get your appetite up when you are not hungry. Sometimes you can eat, other times you can't. Even in my KH's case, there are sometimes in a month when anything I do is erotic, and other times where I can do nothing right. Sometimes, we try to be rational, objective, and even overly moral about sex, and sex developed for millions of years without these considerations. You can only do so much and always treat your partner with respect. All that being said, any idea of her forcing me is obviously role play for us, and it takes good communication to convey expectations. Part of that is communicating at different times (like before and after) and understanding and explaining how you work. Lately, we hhave this discussion before the big O and it is up to her to decide whether it is worth it to her for a few days of less attention. Honestly, I think she likes a few days of less clinginess here and there. I totally understand that when the lusty fog of chastity clears up, one can have mixed feelings. Accept that and communicate it with your partner.

> member_381064b05f wrote: > I've mentioned this mindset to my wife, who has occasionally used this to her advantage. And what gets me, is that even though I *know* how it's going to play out, I still can't help being sucked into the Hot - Not - Hot Again cycle. Yes, that's it, exactly. The first time my wife did that to me, it was a complete surprise. I had never mentioned to her that I had ever had such a fantasy, or that I found the idea of it to be erotic. (In fact, at that point in time, the idea of telling her that I had ever had any thoughts of that nature was completely mortifying.) I had not thought her capable of coming up with something so kinky on her own but she claims that she did. I was already restrained at the time, after a month of being locked, when she told me what would happen if I failed to control the urge to orgasm...and since I *was* already restrained and would be unable to prevent her from doing it, it was so 'hot' that orgasm became inevitable. Even hotter was the fact that I could see in her eyes and the amusement on her face that she fully intended to cause me to orgasm and there was *nothing* I could do about that, either. It was very intense. I really didn't think that she would have the nerve to go through with it...but she did. Unless I get Alzheimer's or something, I don't think I'll ever forget the look on her face when she did as you described- holding it in and knee-walking up the length of my body. It is hard to describe it but it was a look that was a combination of mischief, amusement, satisfaction, lust and joy. Afterward, she said she enjoyed it much more than she thought she would, she said it was *better* because of the extra 'lubrication' as well as the feelings of 'naughtiness' and power. The 'Hot-Not-Hot' cycle is very much as you describe for me as well.