Seeking guidance as a newcomer to male chastity cage life

Hi everyone - I stumbled upon this community about two weeks ago after my partner caught me in a little indiscretion and suggested I try wearing a male chastity cage as a step toward making things right. I agreed quickly, figuring that since we don’t live together yet it would be easy enough to work around the device to satisfy myself while giving her more control and trust. But maybe I was wrong. When she first locked me up (it is a metal cage connected to a metal cock-ring by a numbered lock with a rubber insert at the top) my heart dropped. The fit was quite snug, and with my penis flaccid (and seeming smaller due to the cold metal touch), there wasn’t much room for it to grow. It didn’t hurt initially, though that rubber insert did make it tight. The mental effect of the cage hit me hard and unexpectedly - I felt a sudden panic as I realized what this meant, reaching down to touch my caged penis. It wasn’t just about not straying; it was about needing her for any satisfaction at all. I know some might find that obvious now, and looking back it should have been clear to me too, but there is a big difference between knowing something logically and feeling your penis trapped in the cage. Touching my still-free testicles didn’t help either, and I started getting erections which became uncomfortable very quickly. After she left for her first night (keeping the key), things got worse. I spent about five hours trying to remove the device or find a way to function while wearing it without success. The rubber insert has angled spines that dig in painfully if I pull too hard or get erect. It felt awful, not just because of the physical sensation but also this feeling of claustrophobia and panic from being unable to access my penis easily. I had never gone days without ejaculating before, so I was unprepared for how vulnerable it made me feel. Several times during the night I woke up with my hand wrapped around the cage, desperate to control my own body again. My thoughts quickly turned to my partner and what I needed to do to persuade her to release me. Since I was already awake, I decided to make a thermos of coffee and take some pastries over to her apartment to leave at her door (it’s nearby). After dropping them off, I wondered if I had shown too much desperation so soon. I would love your advice on how you handle these overwhelming feelings. My days are filled with thoughts about nothing else but the awareness of my predicament, constantly reminded that I cannot have an orgasm, or even get hard properly, but worst of all is this total sense of powerlessness which caught me off guard.

I received a PM with some questions so I'll answer them here. 1. The indiscretion was being caught ball-deep in my assistant - since we still work close to each other, my partner wasn't satisfied just with promises that it was over. 2. I can't remember exactly where the device came from, but it's a stainless steel cage design attached by one large and two small pins to the cock ring at the back with a padlock. The plastic insert is some sort of silicone rubber and looks like points of intrigue, but has flexible yet firm prongs pointing forward at an angle, so they 'engage' if I try to pull out and stick in, causing significant pain. Hope that helps!

Funny enough. I saw this same story on craigslist recently or perhaps on another forum somewhere. I suspect you haven't gotten many replies because everyone here is too polite to call Bullshit on you.

> member_632db65f4b wrote:Funny. I saw this same story on craigslist recently or maybe on that other forum. I think you haven't gotten any replies because everyone here is too polite to call Bullshit on you. Well, **that** didn't take long! :lol:

> member_381064b05f wrote: > > member_632db65f4b wrote:Funny. I saw this same story on craigslist recently or maybe on that other forum. I think you haven't gotten any replies because everyone here is too polite to call Bullshit on you. > Well, **that** didn't take long! >:lol: I was so worried I was overstepping my bounds but I just couldn't let it go without saying it.:shock:

> member_632db65f4b wrote: > I was so worried I was overstepping my bounds but I just couldn't let that go withing saying it.:shock: Okay, as a topic of interest, what were the red flags for you? That is, what made this post suspect? And were you drawing on your own experience, or was it something else?

> I quickly agreed to this, thinking that, since we are not currently living together it would be relatively simple to bypass the device and get my needs met while meeting her need for more control and trust. Well, maybe that was a mistake. For me... The total lack of respect for his partner... Sounds like he will cheat on her at any and all levels..

Just asking for "support" made me shake my head.

> member_632db65f4b wrote: > > member_632db65f4b wrote: > > I was so worried I was overstepping my bounds but I just couldn't let that go withing saying it.:shock: > Okay, just as a topic of interest, what were the red flags for you? That is, what made this post suspect? And were you drawing on your iwn experience, or was it something else? LOL... It was so obvious. Several things came to mind. 1:No woman who walks in on her beloved "in the act" is going to have that response. It is a classic storyline that I've read several times over the years in fetish wank mags. 2:All it takes is a trip to the hardware store to buy a bolt cutter if it's a metal lock. If it's plastic, just rip it off. 3:I think it would be rare indeed to have someone buy a device that fit perfectly without pain or modification, or some type of changes. 4:No guy would unwillingly give up control of his penis. I'm a man so I know how we are with our cocks. Male chastity was my idea and if it wasn't it would take a lot of convincing to get me to even let anyone near my penis with any device. I'm fairly new to male chastity but my first device hurt like a mutha when I woke up. I had to use our safe word on day three to have my wife remove it. Only after a few modifications and a larger ring did I have a device I could wear for extended periods. I'm also a machinist and the in house locksmith at my shop. There is no lock or device that can't be defeated. The biggest red flag is simply the human psychology. Way too much in that post to continue. lol.

That said, the post only has one typo that I could see- very unusual, but the content is utterly predictable. However, how these pan out in the other forums is they are in installments so it builds over a number of posts until.....you guessed it - a frilly maid outfit, and well hung stud and a wife "getting her own back" with hub locked forever in his inescapbable device. Ooops, sorry, I spoiled the ending:lol: Weird to post it here - you know, in front of some of the most experienced chastity enthusiasts on the web....

> member_34553b26f0 wrote:That said, the post only has one typo that I could see- very unusual, but the content is utterly predictable. However, how these pan out in the other forums is they are in installments so it builds over a number of posts until.....you guessed it - a frilly maid outfit, and well hung stud and a wife "getting her own back" with hub locked forever in his inescapbable device. Ooops, sorry, I spoiled the ending:lol: Dammit! > Weird to post it here - you know, in front of some of the most experienced chastity enthusiasts on the web.... Yeah, I was thinking that, myself. This is the sort of thing usually found on Yahoo groups.:) Trmoil, if you're still reading, I suggest that you consider re-writing this and posting it in our Fiction board. Also, check out some reading on "real life" chastity: Chastity Therapy Male chastity in real life Chastity devices in real life In short, think carefully about how people react in real-life situations. Most women, after catching you *in flagrante delicto* aren't thinking about chastity devices; they're thinking about kicking your sorry ass to the curb. Also, almost nobody manages to put the device on and have it be secure *and* comfortable right from the start. And nobody is going to drop $300 to $500 on a steel device right away, and if you were wearing one, 5 hours would be more than enough time to figure out how to get out of it. If you're *still* reading, then please feel free to post thoughts and ideas here. But remember that this board is pretty much one of the few "no bullshit zones" in the chastity sphere.

Mr. Trmoil has asked to be deleted from the board and I have granted him his wish. His entertaining words, however, will remain.

> member_efaaeaef99 wrote:Mr. Trmoil has asked to be deleted from the board and I have granted him his wish. His entertaining words, however, will remain. :lol: So I guess I didn't overstep my bounds as a relative newb.:P

As an even newer newcomer here, I figured I'd let the regulars have the fun. On another note, I've noticed spammers creating accounts while I'm on and just for the heck of it I browsed through the 'R' list of members looking for one I'd 'foe'd' and then removed. Out of more than 200 members (in the Rs alone), less than a dozen looked legit. Most of he rest seem to be sleepers with links to spammer/malware sites.

I think at the moment we probably have 4000+ spammers accounts. I'm deleting them in chucks, but it takes a while.

> member_efaaeaef99 wrote:I'm deleting them in chucks, but it takes a while. What do you have against chuck? Maybe he did overstep his bounds:) I am glad that you are deleting them, I'm sure it is a pain in the ass but I hate seeing all those spam accounts. -A

> Atone wrote: > > member_efaaeaef99 wrote:I'm deleting them in chucks, but it takes a while. > What do you have against chuck? Maybe he did overstep his bounds:) > I am glad that you are deleting them, I'm sure it is a pain in the ass but I hate seeing all those spam accounts. > -A :lol::lol::lol:

Sorry, Chuck.

> member_efaaeaef99 wrote:Sorry, Chuck. Think nothing of it.;)

Apologies to Chuck.

They spread like damn mold. Is there a Lysol for spammers?

You certainly are:lol:

It brings to mind one of my favorite Sly Stallone lines: "You're the disease, and I'm the cure". K