Satisfying Her Through Extended Lock Ups

I’m curious about what you all do…

Now, I frequently lick my girlfriend and she enjoys it, but what she truly adores is the sensation of a real cock inside her. We’ve tried dildos but haven’t quite found one that hits the sweet spot—big enough to satisfy yet not overwhelming. Still searching because I hope that’s our solution; however, she always insists she’ll never prefer any artificial option over my natural warmth and the generous amounts of pre-cum lube I provide.

After being locked up for more than a week, I struggle with stamina unless I just cum to get it out of my system. The issue is that I enjoy going 2-4 weeks between orgasms, but she can only tolerate oral sex and sub-par cock substitutes for so long before telling me it’s time to cum so we can have proper intercourse later.

She loves how rock-hard I stay after some denial, and she doesn’t mind sitting on my cock while she finishes herself. The problem is that watching her shake and climax often pushes me over the edge too, causing her to jump off as I have a ruined orgasm—something I’d rather avoid.

I’m even tempted to buy this Chinese numbing cream for cocks, which reportedly works well, at least until I finally find a strap-on she prefers more than my natural cock.

Just wondering how people here manage long gaps between orgasms with partners who need a real cock inside them for full sexual pleasure.

We found a great harness and a dildo that I enjoy. Beyond that, I unlock him and he instinctively knows he can't cum. If he feels himself getting close, he tells me; we pause briefly until he regains his composure, and then we continue.

Yeah, as I mentioned, we are still looking for a dildo she will like for our harness, but she is adamant that a real cock will always be better. I'm hoping if I find one she likes the feel of and which is slightly thicker than me, she might... Don't you get frustrated needing to stop every minute during PIV? After my longest lock up of 4 weeks, I couldn't go more than a few thrusts before having to pull out.

> member_ae7bd19fa9 wrote: > Don't you get frustrated if you need to stop every minute during PIV, cos after my longest lock up of 4 weeks I couldn't go more than a few thrusts before needing to pull out. Nope, guess I am lucky. He doesn't have to stop often. He may go months without an orgasm, but I usually unlock him once or twice a week for some teasing. That may or may not include PIV sex. He is quite good at holding back; he always has been.

I've just purchased Sarah Jameson's latest offering which purports to be about this subject; '69 ways for a Chaste Man to Satisfy his Lover' or something like that. I'd go back to check the title but then I'd be reminded that I'd spent £25 on a book that offers basic advice and has a thinly disguised agenda of selling sex toys from her latest business venture. The really sad part is that as annoyed as I am for falling for her flannel, I'm happy to part with the money as I still feel indebted to her for giving me the tools to finally make MC work in our relationship in BCWYWF.

Had a thought for you. Try something like this. ... -extender/ It was the best of both worlds for us.

As a newbie I have been pondering this question myself over the last 5 days. With my first ever long term lock up (80 days) having commenced yesterday I look forward to reading more responses and sharing my own suggestions.

I've become proficient at Mojito. Chatelaine seems happy enough with that!

Even though we're very new to chastity and the positions we're in but neither of us are new to kink and we have a lot of toys and ideas already. One of which is two different uses for a strap-on. One where she pegs me while she has a very powerful wireless bullet buzzing inside her and the other is making me wear it to have sex with her while I'm caged. Also her hitachi has become an even better beat friend to her during this. If you don't have one I highly recommend it.

well the 2 strap ons we tried before were too small for her. One was way to skinny and the other was around the same size as mine, maybe a little smaller towards the middle and bottom. So she didn't really like them enough to want them more than my cock. I have now ordered this bad-boy ... 0&im=41775 its 1.8" diameter (46mm) so i'm hoping it will fill her up more than me without being so big it's not comfy. I really hope she likes this one! > member_0fe7c9ef96 wrote:Had a thought for you. Try something like this. ... -extender/ > It was the best of both worlds for us. I don't think she will like those hollow strap ons as they tend to be cheap feeling/looking. Silicone feels so much nicer IMO and Xtine would agree...the ridges on dildos can hurt her if the material is not spongy and soft. Thanks for the tip tho!

If what you ordered doesn't work, maybe something like this? It isn't a hard plastic, but still numbs the wearer enough that they should last longer. Adds the 1.5" as well. Very cool feeling material.

> member_ae7bd19fa9 wrote: > well the 2 strap ons we tried before were too small for her. > One was way to skinny and the other was around the same size as mine, maybe a little smaller towards the middle and bottom. > So she didn't really like them enough to want them more than my cock. > I have now ordered this bad-boy > ... 0&im=41775 > its 1.8" diameter (46mm) so i'm hoping it will fill her up more than me without being so big it's not comfy. > I really hope she likes this one! I have heard a lot of good stuff about the this dildo. Please let us know how it works for you!

We tired all sorts of dildos and strap ons. CQ hated each of them. We have found now that using EMLA numbing cream has really improved my longevity to such a point that CQ can choose to finish without me having cum. However CQ often uses penetration as the method for my release as we both enjoy the intimacy and closeness that real cock brings for us both.

Adam & Eve has a *very* realistic looking and feeling dildo. I ordered one for Mrs. Twisted for Xmas, it turned out to be somewhat larger than expected. She didn't think that anything that big would fit inside her...but it does. I think she might be more comfortable with the smaller model though, so I'll probably get that one for her at some point.

I would just like to say to all Consider yourself lucky that you have people that are willing to play and want to try different things Chastity is for me my only real choice My partner is not interested in sex Has never used a sex toy ever! Has never successfully masturbated in her life! and the very odd time that she is interested she is as vanillia as you can get. We have only had sex 3 times since Feb 12 2010 (yes people 3 times in 2 years) and no other playing in between other then kissing and cuddling. And yes before you say it we are very happily married, communicate well and are best of friends give each other loads of attention and can talk about anything sexual. She just has a very low sex drive.

Chatelaine's drive varies but there has been long periods where she couldn't care less if she had sex and it was patently obvious that it was an obligation for her rather than something she was wanting to do. When this was the case I'd just call a halt to it and ask her to let me know when she was getting back 'in the mood' so I didn't feel guilty for upsetting her. Usually this would be for a couple of months but occasionally it would stretch to several months. The downside of this would be that 'taking care of myself' with porn became the norm (because it's better than cheating and these drives don't go away). My repeated immersion in increasingly depraved (insex etc.) imagery became so far removed from our reality that when she was ready for me; it wasn't me that she got. I had become sexually detached from my own reality and did nothing towards getting back to it. Sex had become a poor imitation of the bountiful vicarious fuckfest that the Internet offers. This went on for several years under the delusion that 'it wasn't hurting anyone' - in hindsight it's obvious that we were both avoiding the 'elephant in the room' and the misery we endured blighted the rest of our relationship. The upside to her lower sex drive is that I know she can hump out a 6 month lockup without breaking a sweat whereas i'll be a mess after six weeks. This means I do my best to keep her happy and follow her rules because if she says "Congratulations - you just got another month" I know she won't weaken after a few days.

> member_2b093475a0 wrote: > Chastity is for me my only real choice I guess I am missing something here? Why is this your only choice? What about matsurbation? If I understand your post correctly, your wife is not interested in sex very often. I take it from that that she is not interested in denying you orgasm? Chastity is used in our relationship to prevent male orgasm, not to prevent sex. We have a lot of sex, I just don't have a lot of orgasms.

> member_6a2b8da741 wrote: > > member_2b093475a0 wrote: > Chastity is for me my only real choice > Chastity is used in our relationship to prevent male orgasm, not to prevent sex. We have a lot of sex, I just don't have a lot of orgasms. Celtiqueen_sub my chastity experience is very different from the norm. My sexual preferences are very different from my wife. I have loved bondage / bdsm play since i can remember however my experience has all been an experience of 1 never with another. After a while the self play begins to fade and you want something ongoing that is going to last. In walks chastity..... For me this is perfect type of self bondage and my chastity is self controlled (well controlled by the keysafe web site also) my tease and denial is also self controlled. For the first time in my life I have a fetish that is long term and sustainable locked up or not and I am controlled by a chastity contract of my own writing. Basically my wife has no interest in chastity play in the same way she has no interest in sex.:D

I see what you meant now. I certainly agree with you on the bondage side I do love it too. I also love sexy bondage pictures of women, not for the sexual restraint but for the lovely images. I love breast bondage above all but being CQ's sub it is on very rare occassion that she allows me the privilege of tying hers.

What I think is being missed from MiGs and my posts are that for plenty of ladies out there the need for sexual satisfaction isn't anything like as great as commonly portrayed in our culture.

If you do not wish to be so sensative, I have jeard of guys wearing two condoms at once. This helps them to last longer. You might also let your gf tease you till near climaxe and step. Repeat this over and over and you might build up a resistance and last longer before orgasm. Another fun game since she loves a real hard penis in her is to put your penis all the way in her vagina. Do not move, she then uses her vibrator on herself, she will then start moving around your penis, she will enjoy the erect penis and you will feel her movement. It is up to you two weather an orgasam on your part is allowed. If she just wants to tease you and have you not ogasm do the same as above except just put the head of your penis into her vagina. This will drive you crazy.

Anbesol, a numbing cream intended for sore mouth issues, is available at the nearest grocery or drug store, and seems to work well for us. As with any numbing cream, it has to be left on until it takes effect, and then any excess removed so that her lady parts don't become numb. We tried multiple condoms, but it turns out that Mrs. Haversackers has a bit of a latex allergy. Not good... After anything more than a week of denial, and her incredibly arousing teasing, the Ambesol allows me to easily last long enough to satisfy her. Without it, I'm lucky to last more than a few pathetic strokes.

> member_2eed563509 wrote: Anbesol, a numbing cream intended for sore mouth issues, is available at the nearest grocery or drug store, and seems to work well for us. As with any numbing cream, it has to be left on until it takes effect, and then any excess removed so that her lady parts don't become numb. We tried multiple condoms, but it turns out that Mrs. Haversackers has a bit of a latex allergy. Not good... After anything more than a week of denial, and her incredibly arousing teasing, the Ambesol allows me to easily last long enough to satisfy her. Without it, I'm lucky to last more than a few pathetic strokes. Try silicone condoms. CQ has the same problem with latex

CQ's_sub... Thanks for the idea. I've also seen urethane condoms mentioned too, but have no idea where to find either them or the silicone.

> member_9ab66bfeed wrote:Do you stay hard for long after the numbing takes effect? In my head, I imagine if I went completely numb down there I would start to go soft before long. I share the OP's "issue" and have often wondered whether this method works. Do you maintain your hardness once the cream kicks in? Personally, I picture that going totally numb below the belt might cause me to soften up sooner rather than later. Do you rely on a cock ring for support, or is it not an issue?

> member_9ab66bfeed wrote: > Do you stay hard for long after the numbing takes effect? In my head, I imagine if I went completely numb down there I would start to go soft before long. We've only attempted this one time so far, and here is what occurred. The cream worked so well that I couldn't feel anything at all, and I softened up quite quickly. I am confident we will give it another shot in the future. Next time, I plan to use a smaller amount of cream and likely add a cock ring as well.

Steelworxx offers a potential answer to this: I would love to test that out personally. If my wife is interested in being penetrated, it seems like the perfect solution for us.

> member_0fe7c9ef96 wrote: > > member_ae7bd19fa9 wrote: > >> well the 2 strap ons we tried before were too small for her. > >> One was way to skinny and the other was around the same size as mine, maybe a little smaller towards the middle and bottom. > >> So she didn't really like them enough to want them more than my cock. > > I have now ordered this bad-boy > > ... 0&im=41775 > >> its 1.8" diameter (46mm) so i'm hoping it will fill her up more than me without being so big it's not comfy. > > I really hope she likes this one! I have heard many positive things about that dildo. Please keep us updated on how it goes for you! The bad boy arrived today... he feels wonderful. She says his size matches the biggest cock she has ever taken, and while she found him slightly uncomfortable at first, I am hoping the ultra-soft silicone outer layer along with the entire helmet will be more forgiving than that massive real thing. The firm inner core provides a genuine erect feel as well. The lip near the bottom of the shaft is also quite soft; it bends and folds easily without much pressure, so hopefully she won't mind wearing it on her lips—she usually dislikes ridges on dildos. We plan to test ride him this weekend. Many women who initially thought this toy was too large have ended up loving it more than they expected, so we are keeping our fingers crossed that Xtine feels the same! Regarding numbing creams: yes, we considered that option as well. It will be our next step if we can't find a suitable strap-on. Tantus produces other dildos using this two-layer silicone magic, so if this one proves too large for her, I might try a smaller version made of the same material and put off buying another strap-on for now.

> member_2eed563509 wrote: > CQ's_sub... Thanks for the idea. I've also seen urethane condoms mentioned too, but have no idea where to find either them or the silicone. The Durex brand manufactures them. Please check this link: ... ltima.aspx

> Atone wrote: > > member_9ab66bfeed wrote: > >> Do you stay hard for long after the numbing takes effect? In my head, I imagine if I went completely numb down there I would start to go soft before long. > We have only tried this once and this is what happened. I went so numb that I couldn't feel anything and quickly went soft. > I am sure we will try again someday. I will use less of the cream and probably use a cock ring as well. We have had great success with EMLA cream, provided it is used very sparingly...

> member_6a2b8da741 wrote: > > used very sparingly... I think I got a bit carried away and applied too much. My only guide was some videos online, which showed people using generous amounts—more than even my current usage. The next time around will be just a small amount.

Hi Locked, I am back in my device now after being out for a couple of weeks due to international business travel. Reading your post was interesting because this is a common situation for us as well. My girlfriend and key holder truly enjoys being penetrated by my cock...but she also loves the power dynamic of me being in chastity, while enjoying giving me what I want! So, we take a different approach to your dilemma than most people here in the forum: cuckolding. We were already a cuckold couple before experimenting with chastity (see my somewhat out-of-date blog ( So, the idea of her enjoying other men was already familiar to us. Frankly, I think cuckolding is a practical solution for a key holder who enjoys fucking but also likes denying her partner and keeping him locked up. It doesn't happen often enough for my liking, but whenever my girl wants it or needs it, she can date, flirt, make out with, or fuck any other guy of her choice. Overall, it is pretty rare, but we have had a few wonderful partners over the years who gave us both enjoyment. Since no one else has mentioned this perspective in response to your query, I thought I would share it. Let me know if you want more details about what a positive cuckolding relationship looks like, etc. Good luck! Rob.

> Atone wrote: > > member_6a2b8da741 wrote: > >> used very sparingly... > > I think I got a little carried away and used a lot. My only reference had been some videos on the web and they used a lot, even more than I did. > > Next time will be just a little bit. About a third of the size of a pea... rubbed into the frenum and glans.. fifteen minutes later numb with very little sensation left. The great benefit is it allows you to feel other things without being overwhelmed by cock sensations. Be careful to ensure all the cream is wiped off before entering her. Also, note that it may not be condom-safe either.

My partner always complained that the dildoes we were using didn't feel right. But recently we have been warming them up with an electric heating pad, and she says they feel MUCH better. We also do a lot of fisting. Probably not for everyone, but she really seems to enjoy it. Bottom line, she says there is still no substitute to a real penis, but lately she is pretty OK with leaving me locked up for a month or two at a time.

celticqueens_sub... Thanks for the info on the polyisoprene condoms. We'll likely give them a try if the Trojan Supra Urethane ones I picked up don't do the trick. I understand that the isoprene ones fit more like latex, better than the urethane. I'm hoping that Mrs. Haversackers will be ready for an evening of me giving her a good time with my Ambesol numbed, urethane clad erection, soon. BTW, someone mentioned that they feared that they would lose their erection when numbed by the local anesthetic (Ambesol or Emla), and I have to admit I was concerned about that too, the first time, but it just didn't happen. I was so thrilled to be inside her and to be pleasuring her so well that I stayed hard the entire time, without feeling anything near needing to ejaculate.

I've done extensive experiments with numbing agents of various strengths, from benzocaine all the way to topical tetracaine and injectable marcaine. My experiments produced three results. First, it was still possible to orgasm with minimal numbing sensation. Second, with mid-to strong numbing sensation, it was extremely difficult to maintain an erection. With intense numbing sensation, not only was it not feasible to be active sexually, but I experienced side effects related to the numbing agent. In the end, I find it is much easier to work with your partner and back off stimulation to avoid orgasm if you become too excited. Decreasing sensation won't completely stop orgasm but it does make it harder to maintain an erection. If you have no problems in that department, it might work for you. In that case, I recommend lidocaine as the numbing agent of choice.

> . Decreasing sensation won't completely stop orgasm but it does make it harder to maintain an erection. If you have no problems in that department, it might work for you. In that case, I recommend lidocaine as the numbing agent of choice. I don't find getting or keeping hard a problem if the cream is applied sparingly. Once numb I can fuck for ages and cum more or less when told to, or not!

> member_6a2b8da741 wrote: > > . Decreasing sensation won't completely stop orgasm but it does make it harder to maintain an erection. If you have no problems in that department, it might work for you. In that case, I recommend lidocaine as the numbing agent of choice. Well, yeah, agreed on that, it certainly does give one much more control over /when/ they come. But I find, without fail, that the amount of numbness require to completely stop orgasm also makes it very difficult to maintain an erection. This can lead to much more vigorous sex than you are ready to handle yet, so it still requires discipline and team-work at times to stop the male orgasm. I just personally find it easier and much more pleasurable for both partners to figure out how to do the team-work without a numbing agent. Much less chance of losing the erection, and with practice, just as much control is possible. YMMV

i'd like to add some input to this topic, too. i recently ordered & just received the downloaded book by Sarah Jameson, "69 Ways to Please a Woman Without Fucking Her -- the Ultimate Sex Guide for the Chaste Man", but have not yet had a chance to read it. Up until now, what has worked for my wife & i to get her to orgasm surprises me very much. She has always enjoyed the feeling of a hard cock inside her & it has been her favorite method for orgasms for many years. Since i have been locked continuously now, 24/7 for several months at a time, we needed to find a new favorite way for her to climax. What surprised me is, she has had very satisfying orgasms & has been left completely content without having to be penetrated to be able to reach an orgasm. We've used several methods that include simply using manual stimulation of the clitoris by hand, hers or mine, vibrators, with the newest one being the powerful Hitachi Wand, & also the locking dildo gag that i wear so she can still be penetrated & use her vibe at the same time. This is perhaps my own personal, favorite, method to get her to cum because i can watch very closely as i participate in her pleasure. She has said to me that by her being the one in charge of my locked device & my ability to orgasm or not, has given her a different frame of mind that has allowed her to enjoy a more satisfying orgasm without penetration. The mind is a fascinating part of how a person can be aroused & stimulated, much better than anything else. If i am ever allowed to feel her from the inside during penetration again, i know that i would not last long enough to bring her to orgasm. The sensation would be too strong for me to be able to hold back from cumming, even with instructions not to. i experimented with the toothache numbing cream by using a cotton swab to apply the cream on my penis, then putting on a condom. It worked, i could not feel a thing. We haven't tried penetration with this yet, but i also believe that i would not stay hard without being able to feel any sort of stimulation to the penis. We plan to get a cock sheath or hollow strap on close to my size & use the numbing cream so i can penetrate & not cum & not worry about remaining erect. i have discovered that staying chaste & always having the desire to cum is a wonderful feeling & one that i enjoy as much as, or more, than actually having an orgasm. Making sure my wife gets to experience her orgasm is even better.

Welcome, Barbara. Have you considered something like this: If my wife still desired penetration, that's all we would be using. It allows a very active involvement without (at least in theory) the ability for the wearer to get off. Apologies if I've double posted this. I'm kind of a moron when it comes to remembering what I've already said.

> member_985e6cd154 wrote: > > Welcome, Barbara. > >> Have you considered something like this: > > > > If my wife still desired penetration, that's all we would be using. It allows a very active involvement without (at least in theory) the ability for the wearer to get off. Hi hot_toddy_dog & thank you for the welcome. i have seen that item on their site but worried that the lock could pinch my wife or irritate her in some way. We do have several toys & devices that we use but always willing to try something new. Just this past Friday, she texted me at work in the morning saying she would be home at lunchtime & wanted to know what time i would be home for lunch & that she "may unlock me" for a while. i said i would be home as soon as possible & met her there. We ate, then i went to the bedroom to get ready for whatever she planned. That meant i was to put on my leather hood, gag with the dildo for her, posture collar, blindfold & lock them all in place. She came upstairs, got out her lock box with the key to the chastity & unlocked me. Instantly i was aroused as she leaned me over the bed. She used her crop, her braided nine tails & her wooden paddle on her awaiting ass. i noticed that her paddling has gradually increased in force & made me wince in pain more than usual. That was very exciting to know because it showed me that she was not as concerned with being "easy on me" & worried that it hurt too much. She knows i will give her the safe signal if it's too much to handle. The next thing i felt was her hands grab her cumless cock to stroke it steadily as she cupped both balls & gently squeezed. i let out a huge moan & thought that it would continue. i was wrong as a sudden smack of the hardwood paddle went across both cheeks. The paddling & stroking at the same time was too much & i felt i was close to cumming within a mere matter of seconds. She must have sensed it & stopped. i caught my breath as she was undressing, then felt her grab my hands to signal that i kneel before her as she lay back on the bed with her legs over the edge. i heard her turn on the Hitachi as she started to stroke me. It was an incredible sensation that didn't last. It was interrupted by the feel of her hot, wet pussy engulfing the tip of her cumless cock. i could now feel the warm & soft flesh that i haven't felt since sometime last fall. i also felt the powerful vibrations from the Hitachi pass from her to me. Suddenly as i heard her moan, she pulled away leaving me on my knees with her cumless cock bobbing in the air dying to thrust forward into what i was craving beyond belief, her pussy. She came loudly & her moaning told me that she was almost finished with me. i waited patiently hoping that she was going to allow me to have an orgasm or at least feel her from the inside fully & not just the tip, but she leaned next to me & said, "That's it, you are done, it's time to get locked & dressed." She never needed to be penetrated that day & has been content more & more with other means of stimulation to achieve orgasm. It was beautiful to have been able to feel her soft, warm, pussy for the first time since early November & it was all i thought about for the rest of the day at work & couldn't concentrate on anything else. i texted her to let her know & she replied, "Glad you enjoyed it, that's all you're getting for a while." i still think about it on & off every day & can't wait for the next time she allows me permission to feel her again.

Whew! I wish I could have a lunch like that.:o