Moving Toward an Orgasm-Free Future

When we began our return to chastity, I chose to have one orgasm each week while remaining locked for the rest of the time. I notice that after a significant climax, my mood can dip for several days. However, if I stay denied and slightly aroused, my energy levels remain high and my spirits steady. Recently, we decided it would be best for me to go without ejaculation entirely from this point forward. I have practiced tantric/Karezza methods for years now, which allows me to use the PC muscle to halt an orgasm or ejaculation mid-flow. Often when being edged, semen leaks out naturally; at other times, I feel close to climaxing and must hold it back by contracting that specific muscle. Ultimately, we agreed this approach suits me well, and my partner was happy with the arrangement too. Knowing she loves receiving cum in her mouth and throat, I truly value her support as I embark on a future free from full ejaculation experiences. What good fortune! Last year, I spent about five months without climaxing at all, which went wonderfully, so I am eager to start this new chapter.

Like you, I embarked over the weekend on a long-term orgasm denial journey being locked up permanently from now on. With just two days under my belt, pardon the pun!, there's a long way to go. KH indicated at the beginning that the cage is permanent in our lives from now on; when and if she decides to release me temporarily—rumored to be around Thanksgiving—the question is how long will she keep the cage off me and will she deny me the pleasure of an orgasm? Personally, I like the idea that I may or may not be allowed to cum after long-term chastity. I'm unsure I would have the same positive attitude if I knew I would never have an orgasm again. We all need some hope to cling onto, even if it's along way downwind! Enjoy the journey. Good luck to us both!

I'm only locked at home..so that helps. Also, I get edging sessions and sex, so it's not like I get no stimulation. The thing with me is that when I'm locked long enough, the stimulation I do get feels as good or better than most orgasms. The only way I get that level of sensation is with chastity and denial. So for me it's trading the single occasional orgasm for more frequent stimulation, but without orgasm.

Sounds good Finn. If I maybe so bold, you should try extending your lock up periods to include the working week. It really is a change of mindset to wear your cage in situations that you may be uncomfortable with.

Since I work from home, my time in the lock is longer than usual. A few years back, I wore a CB3000 around the clock (barring any major chafing), though I eventually sold off just the cage part. These days, I typically use a 2000 model and keep the curved version too. Neither style hides particularly well under jeans. My build is fairly substantial down there..but nothing excessive! Another issue for me is that I ride motorcycles (I’ve never owned a car myself, although I do borrow one of the household cars occasionally), and in my experience, riding while wearing a device doesn't work out. That said, going about town with it on does require some mental adjustment, which I agree with. It can be tricky to get women to embrace this as more than just "no masturbation"; they tend to see it mainly through that lens rather than as a broader symbol of submission. Still, being locked up in unusual spots is certainly enjoyable.

> The other problem is that I ride a motorcycle (never owned a car, though I borrow one of the house cars from time to time) and I cannot ride and wear a device in my experience. I do ride motorcycles myself. However, mine is a 'cruiser' type with a more relaxed seating posture compared to an aggressive 'crotch rocket'.

> member_1f353e1d87 wrote: > > The other problem is that I ride a motorcycle (never owned a car, though I borrow one of the house cars from time to time) and I cannot ride and wear a device in my experience. > I ride, but it's a 'cruiser' with a more 'laid-back' sitting position as opposed to a 'crotch rocket'. I feel the same way. My HD Electra-Glide sometimes made the CB6000s a little uncomfortable, though there were no major issues with the MM JailBird.

Mine is a sport-tourer, but I still have some forward lean and my feet positioned back or below. As a former racer, 'laid back' isn't really my style!:) Also, I'm curious how painful it would be to crash while wearing one of these devices. It might look like protection...but I suspect it could cause real damage to the important parts!

> member_e0e2087b3e wrote:I wonder how nasty it would be to ever fall of with a cb on. It may look like protection...but I have a feeling it would do bad things to good parts! :o:shock::o

> member_e0e2087b3e wrote: > > member_e0e2087b3e wrote:I'm only locked at home..so that helps. Also, I get edging sessions and sex, so it's not like I get no stimulation. The thing with me is that when I'm locked long enough, the stimulation I do get feels as good or better than most orgasms. The only way I get that level of sensation is with chastity and denial. So for me it's trading the single occasional orgasm for more frequent stimulation, but without orgasm. > You nailed it! The realization that the short term pleasure of an orgasm does not compare to the longer lasting but no less intense euphoria of denial has hit me too. I expect to have my next orgasm in early January, and after it, we will assess whether or not to make orgasm free living a permanent thing. Right now, after 4+ months without, I feel that I am in need of one, but that thinking may change once January rolls around. I managed about five months without an orgasm last year, which was wonderful. Even when nearing the edge, my semen still leaks out; and by squeezing the pubococcygeus muscle, I can halt both ejaculation and the peak itself. So it isn't total denial in terms of no fluid release at all, but there is no major climax or expulsion—just dripping with that sense that a true orgasm was just barely missed. Going forward, this will be my permanent state.

> member_2eed563509 wrote: > > member_e0e2087b3e wrote:I'm only locked at home..so that helps. Also, I get edging sessions and sex, so it's not like I get no stimulation. The thing with me is that when I'm locked long enough, the stimulation I do get feels as good or better than most orgasms. The only way I get that level of sensation is with chastity and denial. So for me it's trading the single occasional orgasm for more frequent stimulation, but without orgasm. > You nailed it! The realization that the short term pleasure of an orgasm does not compare to the longer lasting but no less intense euphoria of denial has hit me too. I expect to have my next orgasm in early January, and after it, we will assess whether or not to make orgasm free living a permanent thing. Right now, after 4+ months without, I feel that I am in need of one, but that thinking may change once January rolls around. Last year I went roughly five months without an orgasm and enjoyed every minute. I still leak semen when close to the peak, and by squeezing my pc muscle I can stop both ejaculation and the climax itself. So it isn't complete denial if you define that as absolutely no fluid leaving the body; rather, there is no big release or expulsion—just leakage and dribbles—with the sensation of a real orgasm hovering just out of reach. This will be how things remain permanently.

The concept of permanently giving up my orgasm is incredibly appealing, yet I feel a need to know that the one I've been courting for so long will eventually be mine. When staying without climax, how do you all steer clear of accidental ruined orgasms and similar mishaps? Or do those still happen from time to time (whether intentional or not), but simply don't reset your streak of being orgasmless? I've never managed twenty consecutive days without an accidental ruin. They always seem to sneak up on me, lol. That said, I can barely recall my last full, unrestricted climax... perhaps three or four months ago.

Years ago, I went a full three months with no orgasm at all while locked up. There was sex, but I didn't get too close to an actual climax. Nowadays, I think what helps me is that I have been into edging myself (back in the masturbating days..*sigh*) and doing Tantric/Kareeza with my wife for well over a decade. What we're striving for here isn't the absolute zero of previous chastity, but more of a denial of a full orgasm. The ideal for me is to be getting close to cumming, then have a quantity of semen simply leak out. Sometimes you get too close and I use a Tantric technique of holding the pc muscle contracted to suppress the orgasm, stopping ejaculation entirely, or relaxing as the restrained contractions subside, allowing some semen to escape. The trick is not to relax too soon and have an orgasm, or more of an ejaculation start, but also not to hold it so long that my girl doesn't get a taste of her reward for her edging efforts. What we want is to keep some semen drained from me without having the full pleasure or relief of a complete orgasm. The best feeling in the world for me is being denied and locked up, then edged, then locked back up while still aroused, giving a series of orgasms while locked and erect(ish), loving that I'm giving her something I've given up on myself. By not having my own orgasm, it's removed as a goal (it has been for a while) so that I consider the orgasms I give to be mine in most ways. When engaging in sex, I am focused on the other person's pleasure and orgasm, not my own. I can still take charge and dictate when and how their orgasm happens; my not cumming allows me to tease or deny them (kinda like payback) and extend their pleasure as needed.

So far we've avoided anything close to a full orgasm, but I have been given the occasional ruined one and do tend to leak quite a bit when she edges me; neither of us consider that a problem. I also produce quite a lot of semen when squeezing to get the last bit of urine out of my bladder, though there is no pleasure in that. As Finn mentions, giving her the best possible orgasms has become the focus of our lovemaking. I no longer think about my own when with her, unless she's teasing and taunting me about not being allowed to come. Then, it's all I can think about...

My wife asked me a couple of days ago when do I actually want to have a full orgasm again? This is the fourth time she's asked in the last six months. The last three times I answered that it is totally up to her when she chooses to give me one. This time, I jokingly replied with "when do I want to have a what?" She smiled at me and said, "Well, I'm enjoying having you orgasm-free so I think your next full orgasm will be never." My reply was "never really????? You sure????":o The thought that my last full orgasm 200 days ago might truly be the last turns me on to no end. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

Proof that our biggest sexual organ isn't between our legs; it's between our ears.:)

Congratulations Finn, first on being lucky to have such an understanding partner, and second, on having the courage to go completely orgasm-free. I also had similar experiences with tantra/karezza and very long-term orgasm denial, which I completely loved (18+ months was my longest). At many times I did (and still do) want to go totally orgasm-free, but there were a couple of factors that stopped that from becoming a permanent lifestyle change. The first time I wanted to commit to being totally orgasm-free permanently was after doing a full year trial of female-orgasm-only sex. We both loved it, and although my wife was skeptical, she agreed to help encourage me to stay on this path forever. It only lasted another six months. When looking back at what went wrong, it was a combination of factors. First, I got really into pleasuring her—that's quite good—but unfortunately, I got so into it that eventually I had an orgasm simply from pleasuring her. I didn't know that was possible and wasn't prepared for it. From that point on, it was a slippery slide all the way off the wagon. That orgasm felt really good; I wanted to repeat the experience, but I had already broken my promise of remaining totally orgasm-free. So with the promise broken, there was no point in sticking with it... fast-forward several years of wanting this but never fully committing. Eventually, I developed the ability to orgasm while performing oral sex on her nearly 100% of the time (if she opted for a third orgasm), about 50% of the time during her second orgasm, and 25% of the time I would climax during or before her first O!! That wasn't good, making it challenging to even finish pleasing her after that. At that point, I knew I needed a change. That brought me to chastity. Fast-forward several more years and devices until she began to get comfortable with that idea. Also, throw in the desire to procreate along the way (which we did successfully). Even when trying to get pregnant, I wanted to return here so badly; I was on a full OD regimen—I timed my once-a-month ejaculation release with her cycle—and lo and behold, it worked once we got the right day down. It was really frustrating having those lows afterward though, and I slipped up several times. Despite my best efforts after that, I discovered I could orgasm inside the chastity device again, simply by pleasuring her. Although a smaller device might help make that less rewarding, I don't expect it to eliminate it entirely. The point of avoiding it isn't necessarily denying myself the pleasure of an orgasm; it is avoiding the low sensation after a release. For the past 30 days, I've actually managed to be good about this and have been O-free!! Quite happy with that. What changed? I had a goal. At this point, we are just starting a new phase—I have committed (from today exactly) to two full years of female orgasm-only lovemaking, no more penetrative sex, and me in chastity for all our lovemaking. Why two years and not forever? Because I actually do want this to be forever, but I know that if we agree to that and slip up somewhere along the way, I'll end right back where I've been for so many years: in chastity limbo—wanting it but not really able to maintain it. I found that having a goal allowed me to go 18 months before—it started as one month, then two, then six, then a year... and worked wonderfully for me. I never had the desire to throw in the towel despite a few near accidents that lowered my drive somewhat; fortunately, none were big full-blown O's. But if I didn't have a goal, I would just as easily made an excuse and given up after that (which is exactly what happened around month 18 when I unexpectedly had a full-blown orgasm), proceeding right back to vanilla, un-arousing, self-indulgent sex. My wife is very obliging and thought that's what I wanted. That's what my penis wanted, but it wasn't what was in my heart—I was still yearning for our tantric, goddess-worship, female-orgasm-only practice (whatever you want to call it). As a male, once you learn to love the intensity of non-orgasmic sex, it's very hard to stay away from its siren song calling you back. So for now, it is two years. In two years, I can always extend it further; and knowing from experience that the longer you are invested in this, the harder it is to give up... so most likely this is a permanent shift, but without the psychological pitfalls awaiting if an accident or near-accident springs up on us. What works for everyone is different, and I'm not saying you need to do it exactly that way. I wish you best of luck in your journeys Finn! Glad to know there are other couples like us out there.

I was pondering this further and believe what sustains my journey is the excitement of pushing forward in time. A key part of that dream for me is eventually reaching permanent chastity, maintaining a completely non-orgasmic sex life where I can remain fully devoted to my wife's happiness. However, once we reach that state, there seems no sensible way to advance any further. The fantasy aspect has turned into reality, and the remaining dreams become increasingly restrictive and less feasible. Since I've already given up penetrative sex, there isn't much more room for me. Thus, paradoxically, the best path is to keep it as a dream. Currently, my most powerful vision concerns what will occur two years from now: when I am permitted an orgasm again—but choose to decline—and instead commit to three additional years of lovemaking focused solely on female pleasure. Perhaps somewhere within this plan, my id is being tricked by the ego and superego; it might not make sense to others, but it works for me. You are fortunate to have a partner who allows non-orgasmic intercourse or karezza-style intimacy. We experimented with it briefly, but I noticed that partial ejaculations would sometimes occur (I could hold back the full orgasm, yet still end the session). Eventually, she simply wanted all the stimulation and found long sessions tedious, so we shifted to catering primarily to her needs. It took me a while to accept this and feel truly satisfied myself, though it did happen—long after I began feeling her orgasms as my own. My craving for physical sensation was eventually replaced by a desire for post-coital cuddling. Now, the urge to stay aroused in chastity has taken over from needing stimulation, yet I still wonder how things would differ if my wife had enjoyed extended intercourse or other activities—maybe then I wouldn't need this entire dream/goal framework to keep myself aligned. Regardless, I feel a pleasant hint of envy;)