Four Months In: Is It True Chastity Or Celibacy?

Hello Forum Members,

If memory serves, I kicked off my twelve-month chastity journey in late October. (My last orgasm was on Oct. 31st, per the recommendation of one of our most recognized members.) Here are a few updates for you.

I have gathered quite a bit of knowledge along the way:

1. February ends will mark four months since I started.
2. While I haven’t had an orgasm, semen occasionally leaks out on its own now and then.
3. Wearing the CB just gets tedious for me; my routine is roughly one week locked in, followed by a week of freedom.
4. My wife seems reluctant to tease or stroke me because she worries it might lead to ejaculation.
5. I continue giving her orgasms roughly twice weekly, and she thoroughly enjoys them.
6. As some have cautioned before, there appears to be a threshold where chastity starts looking like celibacy.
7. I’ve observed several waves of libido that seem tied to my wife’s ovulation schedule.
8. I now understand why members like Tom Allan (and others) stop fixating on the “number” of days or weeks.
9. My spouse and I are getting along great; this chastity setup hasn’t damaged our bond at all.
10. She is completely content with my chaste state.
11. When questioned, she showed no desire to end either the current period or the practice itself.
12. Recently, I’ve started asking myself, “Why keep going? What do we gain or learn from it?”

I’m open to answering any questions about this experience, though I’ll try to keep my replies concise since you can see how easily off-topic discussions develop here.

Thanks for sticking with me. David

A few observations. I've grouped these by theme based on what stands out to me. > member_6881ff1b4b wrote: > 1. The end of February will be four months. > 2. I have been orgasm-free, but the semen sort of just runs out a bit from time to time. > 3. I simply get "tired" of wearing the CB. I go about one week in, one week out. > 7. I have now witnessed several horniness cycles and they seem to related to wife's ovulation. You are entering the phase where long-term denial becomes real, revealing that it might not be exactly what you imagined initially. That is perfectly fine because often the experience itself holds value once you complete a cycle and take time to reflect on it. > 9. Our wife and I get along splendidly. The chastity certainly hasn't hurt our relationship. > 5. I still provide her with orgasms about twice a week. And she loves them. > 10. My wife has become 100% happy with me being chaste. > 4. My wife is too afraid (unwilling, etc.) to tease me or stroke me for fear of me cumming. > 11. When asked, she expressed no interest in ending the chastity period or chastity itself. Does this imply you have stopped having intercourse? I realize every woman is different, and some might struggle with that arrangement. Or perhaps not. Mrs. Edge would likely find it challenging, which is why we rely on the strapon. It is good to see your intimacy levels are healthy. Are things getting better for you personally? Also, what is your wife's perspective so far? What benefits does she perceive that keep her willing to continue? > 6. Like some of you have warned, there seems to be a line where chastity becomes celibacy. > 12. I have come to the point of asking, "Why any longer? What will be gained or learned?" > 8. I now see why the Tom Allans of the group (et al) no longer focus on a "number". Exactly right. Let me elaborate. When you are new to this lifestyle, everything feels fresh and exciting; it is natural to chase records, whether that is tracking days since last release or time spent in the cage or how many times intercourse occurred without ejaculation. You are constantly counting. This is normal—you are learning new things. However, eventually you stop focusing on those surface-level metrics, and your outlook shifts in unexpected ways. For instance, I used to be a casual cyclist but started riding more seriously a few years ago. My distance grew from 5 miles, then 8, 10, up to 15, and somewhere along that path, I stopped obsessively counting miles unless they directly related to calories burned. I began using the bike for errands, meetings, and wherever it was practical. I became more aware of towns with cycling infrastructure and health-conscious habits. Now, every trip makes me wonder if a bicycle would have been suitable. Similarly, chastity is not necessarily a *journey* in itself; rather, it is an unconventional method to deepen intimacy with your partner. Just enjoy the process as it unfolds, without worrying so much about the numbers.

Regarding point #4, is her hesitation because she desires it herself, or because you want it?

Responding to your title question. If your plan is to go a full year without an orgasm, I would classify that as celibacy. However, if you are simply wearing the device for a year while allowing approved orgasms, then it remains chastity. I agree with another member's sentiment: "I want chastity, not celibacy." Committing to a year of strict celibacy isn't my style, but if that is what you desire, I admire your dedication as the Husband Keeper (KH).

> member_75c78a1ec7 wrote: > Responding to your title question. If you are planning on going a full year without an orgasm then I would classify that as celibacy. However, if you are simply wearing the device for a year while allowing approved orgasms, then it remains chastity. I have to take issue with your disagreement there!:) They clearly have a good relationship; they *are* having sex together and both seem happy about it. Chastity (which is essentially denial) differs from celibacy. The signature quote you referenced comes from mikecbw, I believe, who suggests that while the physical restriction is fine, he desires an ongoing connection that includes intimacy. When Mrs. Edge and I extend our periods together, I certainly do not feel celibated as long as we maintain our intimate life.

Tom and Thomas, It is tricky replying to everyone here because the screen clears your comments as I type... Thomas, regarding point #4, I believe she wants it now. It may sound strange, but my wife would likely be more let down if I were to cum than I would be myself (falling into that "be careful what you wish for" category). Tom A.: To summarize your excellent points, for months (or even years) I could grasp what you said in theory. Now, after completing a sufficiently long period of chastity, I truly appreciate the practical meaning behind those words. My wife and I seem to no longer engage in intercourse directly. She appears very comfortable settling into a routine where I pleasure her manually, "and that is that." We remain intimately close frequently, and our marriage enjoys an easy harmony that surpasses what we had before. We strive for open, unbiased conversations about how things are going—we both agree life is great. Yet, self-assessment can be hard. Perhaps the best indicator is listening to my wife on her calls with friends. She seems happier than ever during those chats (let's be honest, women share everything!). I wish I could fully articulate these feelings and their meaning. For now, I no longer view chastity as a steep "mountain to climb," but rather something to savor. Male chastity feels more like enjoying a fine bottle of wine: the objective isn't consumption; it is enjoyment. Please feel free to ask for details if needed. I hope I addressed Tom and Thomas' questions fairly. David