Chastity within the Scope of D/s Training

First off, I firmly feel there are countless ways to enjoy chastity in your life, and that the single wrong approach is failing to enjoy it. With that said… Does anyone here view their chastity as part of training or discipline? My new girlfriend/keyholder and I are discussing a contract. I’m seeking different methods for incorporating it into a D/s dynamic. She loves sex just as much as I do, so while super long extended denial might not be suitable for us, that doesn’t rule out using it effectively as a tool for training and discipline. So, to those who use it this way, how does it work? What positives and negatives have you encountered?

154 views with no single reply. Hrm.

It might be your phrasing.:P Or perhaps it's because most members here aren't particularly focused on the D/s aspects and hadn't considered this angle.

I started drafting a reply but abandoned it because it was taking too long and I ran out of time. Then I got sidetracked. The shorter answer is yes, we do see/use chastity as part of D/s 'training'. Being let out for some stimulation or teasing serves as a small reward, while an eventual orgasm acts as the larger one. The heightened arousal achieved through denial also supports Pavlovian conditioning; it creates an arousal response to actions/activities that may not [normally] be erotic, increasing the desire to repeat them because the arousal is pleasurable and reminds you that repetition leads to [eventual] reward.

> member_381064b05f wrote:Must be the way you phrased it.:P Or maybe it's because most of the members here aren't so much into the D/s aspects and hadn't thought about it. Perhaps Mr. Allen, perhaps... > member_1f353e1d87 wrote:Short(er) answer is yes, we do see/use it as apart of D/s 'training. Being let out for some stimulation/teasing is a small reward, eventual orgasm is a larger reward. The heightened arousal achieved through denial also lends itself to Pavlovian conditioning of an arousal response to actions/activities that may not [normally] be erotic, which increases the desire to repeat the activity as the arousal is pleasurable and is a reminder that the repetition will result in [eventual] reward. Thanks TwistedMister, that aligns perfectly with what I was hoping others would say.

> member_25cff16817 wrote:Does anyone here look at their chastity as a part of training and/or discipline? > So, for those of you who do use it that way, how does it work for you? What positives and negatives have you found? Sorry, I read your post but didn't respond because you were looking specifically for "how does it work for you". The bottom line is: it doesn't work for us simply because we don't use chastity.

> member_56a3d51043 wrote:...didn't respond since you were looking for "how does it work for you". Bottom line is it doesn't work for us because we don't use it. That's 100% cool, and I totally get that logic. Just surprised that out of 150+ views, no one seemed to be using chastity this way. Either way, I believe there's no wrong way to incorporate chastity.

Keep in mind that out of the 150+ views then (now at this writing it's 292) only a fraction are members who can reply. I have a feeling there are many people "looking in" on your thread who just couldn't respond.

I live a D/s FLR with CQ and chastity (particularly orgasm denial) is used primarily as a control method rather than a training one.

> member_6a2b8da741 wrote:I live a D/s FLR with CQ and chastity (more over orgasm denial) is used as a control method, not so much a training method. And the essence of 'training' is NOT 'control'?:mrgreen: Or is it vice versa?:?:

I use chastity extensively for D/s, especially without the benefit of a dedicated keyholder/teaser. I've also incorporated it into my exercise regimen, so everything is positive across the board. I'm keeping a blog about this experience, though I am currently on a medically-necessitated hiatus due to severe nickel allergy. I ordered a powder-coated device from Steelworxx which should alleviate that issue, even if it's an undesirable diversion from fitness objectives while waiting for the somewhat slow turnaround and delivery. Blog is in my signature, I believe... Post something; always looking for followers and feedback.

Thanks for the replies folks. Imposedsensation, I'll definitely check out your blog.

An interesting question. I don't think of putting my husband/slave in the cage for training or discipline if by "discipline" you mean punishment? I use the cage as an integral part of our relationship. I enjoy locking up his cock and prefer he doesn't play with it willy-nilly when I'm away. If given his way, he would stroke constantly, so I like to control that. ~Alex

> member_f70c740c68 wrote:I don't think of putting my husband/slave in the cage for training or discipline, if by discipline you mean punishment? That's a good question, and something I probably should've clarified originally. I don't consider discipline and punishment to be identical things. Punishment can certainly be used as a component to discipline someone, but it isn't necessary; some couples find that it doesn't work well, or at all. Discipline is more along the lines of training for specific behaviors. It can simply be about exercising control—both for instruction and learning—but also just as a straightforward exercise of power exchange.

> member_25cff16817 wrote: > > member_f70c740c68 wrote:I don't think of putting my husband/slave in the cage for training or discipline, if by discipline you mean punishment? > That's a good question, and something I probably should've clarified originally. I don't consider discipline and punishment to be the same. Punishment can be a component used to discipline someone, but it isn't necessary and some couples find that it doesn't work well, if at all. > Discipline is more along the lines of training for a set of behavior. It can simply be about the exercise of control - both for training and instruction, but also just as a simple exercise of the power exchange. For me, discipline means consistency, accountability, dependability—doing what you've committed to when you said you would, while maintaining regularity. Punishment is the consequence of failing to maintain that discipline. It's a tool used to enforce it and exercise control (regardless of its efficacy). This isn't to say some people don't punish just for the sake of punishing and frustrating; in those cases, however, it feels more akin to torture because the action or lack thereof isn't the actual cause. Hopefully I'm making sense. As for tease and denial: it can be punishment, but by my definition, they aren't always so. Sometimes tease and denial serve as reminders of lost control or a sacrifice made out of devotion; other times, they simply help amplify sensations of love and passion later on—recognizing how special the person is so they aren't taken for granted. Alright, that's enough abstraction, conceptualization, and really just running my mouth in one post... Let me know what you think--do you agree or disagree with my understanding? In regard to my personal blog: I get punished when I'm not disciplined and driven to achieve my fitness goals, albeit self-inflicted. I try using the community and viewership to help make decisions, enforce rules, and keep me honest and disciplined.

"Discipline is more along the lines of training for a set of behavior. It can simply be about the exercise of control - both for training and instruction, but also just as a simple exercise of the power exchange." The cage helps ensure that I control his orgasms rather than him controlling them myself. Without it, I think he would go back to sneaking in strokes when I'm not around. So, in that respect, it aids with both training and self-control for him. But I also enjoy seeing him naked wearing the cage; it pleases the Lady! ~Alex

> member_a09422eaf5 wrote: > > member_25cff16817 wrote: > > > member_f70c740c68 wrote:I don't think of putting my husband/slave in the cage for training or discipline, if by discipline you mean punishment? > > That's a good question, and something I probably should've clarified originally. I don't consider discipline and punishment to be the same. Punishment can be a component used to discipline someone, but it isn't necessary and some couples find that it doesn't work well, if at all. > > Discipline is more along the lines of training for a set of behavior. It can simply be about the exercise of control - both for training and instruction, but also just as a simple exercise of the power exchange. > For me, discipline is consistency, accountability, dependability, doing what you've committed, when you've committed to doing it and maintaining regularity. > Punishment is a consequence of not being disciplined. It's a tool to enforce discipline, and to exercise control (regardless of its efficacy). That's not to say that some people don't punish just to punish and frustrate, but in that context it's more akin to torture, because actions or lack of action isn't the cause of the punishment in such cases. > Hopefully I'm making sense. > As for tease and denial, it can be punishment, but I don't think tease and denial always is punishment by my definition. Sometimes tease and denial is a way to remind someone of his or her loss of control, of a sacrifice made out of devotion, or simply to help amplify sensations of love and passion at a later date--in recognition of how special they are, so that they are not taken for granted. > Alright that's enough abstraction, conceptualization, and really just running my mouth for one post... > Let me know what you think--do you agree or disagree with how I understand it? > In regard to my personal blog, I get punished for not being disciplined and driven to achieve my fitness goals, albeit self-inflicted. I try to use the community and the viewership to make decisions, enforce, and keep me disciplined and honest. I think I generally understand and agree with your perspective. I don't resort to punishment if he misbehaves; just as I wouldn't whip him for bad behavior either. The cage and BDSM activities are part of our relationship fabric. If he acts up, we discuss it. The cage is a positive element in our dynamic, and I would not want it associated with negative connotations like punishment. It is fun, erotic, sexy, exciting. ~Alex

Thanks for the replies. Ms. Alex, I definitely like your remark about not using the cage for punishment if he misbehaves; instead, you talk it out. I'm a big believer in that kind of communication and dynamic.

For us as a couple, my life wearing the cage revolves around her dominance and my submission. It only becomes punishment when I am not released from its bondage at an expected time due to some transgression—or even merely upon her whim. There are certain situations (which I won't detail here) where I am normally free to experience sexual relief.