chastehub A Better Husband and Lover Through Chastity Play

MyBride and i are in our 50s, having shared two decades of marriage. We brought chastity play into our lives a bit over a year ago this past October of 2012. It has been a positive transformation for me personally; I have accepted my sexual identity as that of a submissive. This realization has made me both a more devoted husband and a more satisfying partner. Our relationship has also improved significantly, with greater openness in our communication and discovering depths of intimacy we previously thought impossible. We’ve rediscovered dating each other and are making love more frequently, though the dynamic feels slightly different now.

It’s been quite an interesting journey. In the days and weeks ahead, I plan to share key highlights from this path—which has often felt like an emotional roller coaster—and explain how exploring male chastity has enriched us both.

Yay! Looking forward to hearing your story!

MyBride is quite vanilla and has always found my kinkiness challenging, which previously centered on classic bondage until we introduced chastity at the 19-year mark of our marriage. With this new addition, my submissive side burst onto the scene in ways neither of us anticipated. I enjoy being tied up because I love feeling helpless while she holds control: a textbook power exchange. For years, MyBride played along reluctantly, noticing how much pleasure i derived from it through her increased arousal and stronger orgasms. While she improved at teasing me when bound, she is naturally kind and dislikes "being mean," even though i have told her countless times that I enjoy the discipline. I had been considering chastity play for years but took a long time to gather the courage to ask her. Although it was becoming central to my fantasies, it also intimidated me slightly (and still does). Many experienced people warn about "be careful what you wish for" regarding chastity. When I finally proposed the idea, I suggested that chastity be our sole form of bondage and that we return to vanilla sex in the bedroom. I’m not sure if this compromise tipped the scales, but she reluctantly agreed. Although our previous bondage play involved her as dominant and me as submissive, I didn’t truly understand what being a submissive meant until we started using chastity devices. When I first locked into the CB6000, there was an immediate shift; confinement brought my submissive nature to the surface in surprising ways. More on that next time...

When I first locked into the CB6000 it was like a switch flipped; my submissive side surged forward. Suddenly, my only desire was to please MyBride. I drafted a contract where I would bring her breakfast and prepare lunch (adding love notes to napkins), make the bed, clean the house, do grocery shopping, cook, load and unload the dishwasher, handle laundry, iron clothes, etc. I also began taking her on dates, buying flowers, writing cute cards, and reserving one night a week for pedicures. Despite the extra workload, I loved every moment. I often wonder what makes chastity so powerful? Is it being in bondage yet retaining mobility, even in public? Is it the constant reminder of her whenever I get aroused or use the bathroom? Is it her control over my manhood and sex happening entirely on her terms? Or is it how I become hornier with each passing day? I haven't pinpointed one single cause, but it’s likely a combination of these factors. Neither of us believed the extent of the transformation, which lasted for several months. It might have endured longer had MyBride not struggled with the kinky demands of enforced chastity. Again, she found it difficult to "be mean," so she hesitated to tease me or deny my orgasms while enjoying her own, despite my reassurances that this was exactly what I wanted. Furthermore, although she appreciated the help and pampering, i had taken over some tasks she enjoyed. Neglect began to set in; there were long stretches where she didn’t acknowledge my predicament at all—no physical touch or playful verbal teasing. Our contract included a clause that i would not top from the bottom, meaning sex was initiated by her. I could offer services leading to intimacy like romantic dinners, massages, and foot rubs, but couldn't make direct sexual advances. Occasionally, after a couple of weeks, she would release me and stroke me to massive orgasms without allowing me to return the favor. She acted like a sex camel while i wandered in a horny desert. Chastity play stopped being purely fun; it felt as though there was little reward for me. I discussed this with her, but she remained uncomfortable, leading to recurring conversations: she promised to tease and allow my orgasms without pressure to reciprocate, yet follow-through was lacking. She just couldn't bring herself to "be mean." Eventually, the magic faded, and in a passive-aggressive move, i stopped doing the chores and romancing her. We entered a dry spell. More on that next time, but meanwhile I wonder how many of you have experienced the partner feeling smothered by new affection or disliking having household duties taken over?

As noted earlier, we hit a dry spell and paused our chastity play for a while. Over time, I realized that the issues stemmed from me; when reality didn't match my fantasies, I became frustrated instead of accepting it as part of giving up control. When we brought back chastity, I worked hard to give Her total control and accept her terms rather than mine. I also focused on being a more attentive lover in bed. I stopped trying to perform service sub duties outside the bedroom—though my earlier attempts did lead me to help around the house more, which she appreciated. She responded positively, becoming more devious in the bedroom. She began letting me bring her to orgasm without feeling guilty that i didn't get mine; often she would just smile, kiss me, thank me, and roll over into spoon position. Within minutes, she’d be snoring while I lay there wide awake, frustrated yet loving every minute. She also started teasing about the cage more, both in and out of bed, making comments like "maybe you'll get out tonight" or later that evening after i helped her climax, saying "i think i'll let you wait a little longer." Truly surrendering control is difficult, but I am realizing the experience surpasses my fantasies. I still share my desires with Her not to pressure her, but simply to let her know what’s on my mind; she is starting to do the same. We have settled into a very workable routine. Yesterday the MM JB arrived, and we reintroduced chastity for the first time since the CB6000 failed in November. As many forum members say, the device's quality and comfort are amazing. It took some trial and error to get my junk through the base ring (I had trouble squeezing my nuts through initially but eventually got everything positioned correctly), so I hope practice makes perfect. We attended an evening event, and being experienced with CD wear, i decided to gamble and take it out of the house (with the emergency key nearby). It seems we nailed the fit; the device is comfortable and secure, with no major issues. I did get occasional pinches on my dick tip, likely small bits of skin catching between the device and underwear, but these were minor. i actually enjoy those little reminders that it’s there. i have continued wearing it and plan to stay in all weekend barring any significant problems. When MyBride first saw me with the device, she compared it to Hannibal Lecter's mask from Silence of the Lambs. I find the device more attractive than that comparison suggests, but I see why she made the analogy. So we embark on a new phase; wish us luck!

Wow chastehub, it sounds like things are moving along in a good direction. It also reminded me that we've written some of those exact same things. It seems in the beginning things regarding control and fantasy ideas cycle... we still have moments. We've had long conversations about "expectations" and how we need to have none because then we can't be disappointed and only enjoy what does come of our fantasies. Ok, can't wait to hear more of your journey!

Sounds like things are starting to go well. We're still relative beginners, and it was the 6-day spell before Christmas that changed things as it was the first time I really changed and my wife got interested. Then I struggled with the CB6Ks and I'm working on getting the sizing right to order a JB, but it's really interesting to hear how/why things can go wrong. I know I have some expectations so it's important to read what you and others have said about learning to play on someone else's terms. Good luck for the next days, weeks and beyond. Please keep posting so we learn how things progress.

I continue to be impressed by the Jailbird from Mature Metal. I've been wearing it continuously since it arrived Friday and found it to be very comfortable; it is easy to forget I have it on. I went for an hour run yesterday and had no issues with the device. Cleaning in the shower is easy, and just a little lotion is all that is needed to keep things moving and comfortable. Due to the custom-sizing and close fitting nature of the device, (attempted) erections are VERY different. Others on the forum have said that erections in the JB don't fully form since there is so little room in the device, and it has been interesting to experience that. A very different experience than the CB6000 where erections were able to form more fully and were accompanied by a burning sensation in the scrotum. I'm still a noob with regard to the JB, and I'm sure there are many adventures ahead. I'll be interested to see how difficult it is to remove when I'm released; getting it on was quite a trick.

I have gone all weekend in the new MM JB without issue; the device is everything I hoped. The fit is quite "close"; I was going to say "tight", but that isn't accurate since tight implies pressure and there is no pressure unless I start to get hard. It is quite comfortable and there have been a few times I had to check to make sure the JB hadn't fallen off. In a few hours I'll be trying to get it off for the first time; hopefully that isn't too much of an adventure.

MyBride wasn't feeling great over the weekend, so we haven't fooled around much since I started wearing the device on Friday. Last night She came to bed and as we snuggled She reached down and started to play with Her caged cock. She wasn't in the mood to play, She just wanted to tease me a little. After a bit She said goodnight and rolled over. It was my first raging hard-on in the JB, and although more comfortable (less ball burn) than the CB6000, it was still uncomfortable. After laying there for a bit holding Her tight, I eventually heard Her soft snores and I quietly got up to go to the bathroom and allow things to "cool down". Wow! I love that woman, and I am looking forward to getting back to our normal chastity routine after our long hiatus.

When I first started wearing my new JB I developed a rash at points around the base ring. I shaved just before putting on the device and I wasn't using the best products for lube (I'm now using Aveeno lotion), so there was a point where things dried out and the rash started. Initially I attributed the rash to shaving followed by improper lube. I did go a day without wearing the device to let things clear up, but the rash didn't fully heal in that short time, and slowly got worse after a few more days of wear (with careful lubing), so now I'm unlocked waiting for things to fully heal. I'm not sure if the rash is caused by improper fit of the new device, or if it was caused by incorrect lube, or me just getting used to the device. The fit of the JB is snug, but I can get a finger under the base ring, and other than the rash, the device is very comfortable (no edema or other issues like that). My plan is to let things fully heal and try again. What concerns me is the pattern of the rash has taken on; there are now two "hot spots" at the top "corners" of the base ring (I'm wearing an oval), while the rest of the rash has cleared. I'm wondering if others have experienced rashes while wearing a JB, and if they were due to improper fit, not having the lube correct, or other.

Hey chastehub, My hubby has had no trash issues with the JB - with shaving or any of the lubes or lotions. The only things he has some issue with is if he nicks himself shaving.... those can get a little sore but after a day to two he's good. He doesn't need to remove his device for that either. Hope you heal up!

The best thing you can do is let it heal sans device. I did have a similar problem, though not to a full "rash" stage, just an irritated area under the scrotum. I also use Aveeno and/or gold bond. But when I had an irritated spot (can also happen at the top base of the penis, especially if testing an anti-pull-out pin with an MM device), I use polysporin to calm things down while the devise is off. You can also use it if the device is on and you start to feel something irritating starting up. Works pretty well and definitely speeds recovery. So let it heal and go with a good body lotion once you're back in the device.

Thanks @ladynmonkey and @tjscooby. Over the 3 day weekend (the time that was supposed to be my first extended lockup) I was out of the device to let things heal; the more minor of the two hot spots healed completely and the other mostly healed. I also shaved the area completely, not just where the base ring rides, to get a closer shave and eliminate hair issues as a variable. I'm trying again, mostly to see if the spot that healed completely becomes a problem again. So far the spot that healed has remained happy and healthy. Further, because I'm unlocked during the workday I've been using polysporin on the other spot and it is improving; now it is just a minor sore (like a shaving nick). So it appears the problems I had at the beginning were the result of improper lube and/or hair, not improper fit of the base ring. I will continue with the polysporin until completely healed, and Aveeno when wearing the device. In a separate post I had asked if people remove the base ring when unlocked or leave it on, because getting my balls in and out of the device takes a lot of (uncomfortable) work, although with practice I'm getting better at it. Several folks said they leave the base ring on, so I've been experimenting with that. Yesterday I tried pulling my crank out of the base ring and leaving it around my balls during the day, then pulling my crank back through and putting on the cage when returning home. I found that worked well; it was comfortable throughout the day, allowed the one remaining hot spot to continue to heal, and it was easy to lock back up when I returned home from work.

MyBride and I wrote a contract in February of last year, and we followed it until the CB6000 broke and we took a break until the MM JB arrived. Now that I'm securely locked in the JB, we decided to dust off the contract. As mentioned previously, we have gotten away from a lot of the "service sub" stuff I was doing when we first explored chastity, but the contract still called for certain things: - getting up before her and making her breakfast and sack lunch - unloading the dishwasher - making the bed - cleaning the house before the weekend - doing something off the honey-do list every Saturday - menu planning and grocery shopping on Sunday - helping her cook dinner every evening - being a gentleman at all times (opening doors, always being respectful and kind) As I re-read those items I gulped, realizing that I had become quite lazy over the past few months and had not been doing many of the things on the list. I asked if she wanted to make any changes to the contract, or return to following it as is. She smiled, rubbed me through the cage and said "let's leave it as is." Game on.

I really appreciate you sharing this. We're just starting out in our journey and are trying to navigate the tricky parts together. It's been helpful reading about your experiences and how you look at things!

It was a fun weekend. Saturday was the first in a while where we could sleep in a little, so as we gradually woke i began to cuddle and massage, and MyBride became aroused. i brought her to a nice orgasm and we basked in her after glow for a while. Then she patted the cage and said "Time for you to make me breakfast, maybe you'll get yours later." Later never happened, and i remain frustrated and aroused after 6 days without release. She did unlock me Sunday so i could go on a long run, but i left on the basering. It was a chilly day and apparently the boys got cold; when i returned home and climbed into the shower the ring fell off because the boys had tucked up inside. i found that funny given the epic battles i've had trying to get the basering on and off when things are warm.

> member_91c91d4875 wrote:Thanks so much for posting. We are really new to this and hoping to get through some rough spots. I appreciate reading your experiences and perspectives! i'm glad you enjoy our story. Male chastity is a constant learning experience for both parties, but there are so many positives it is worth working at. We've been at it for about a year and a half and it took MyBride quite some time to get from "this is weird" to "I like you locked up and horny." Now she's starting to get more playful and assertive, and i couldn't be more happy (and frustrated).

It has been a while since i updated this post. i had to send the JB back to MM to increase the basering by 1/8th, and also to address the issue of the device rotating. The JB arrived back last Friday and the fit of the device is MUCH better now. i'm not sure what all they did, but the rotation problem is much better now too. When the device returned i locked up immediately, and i've remained locked ever since. i have one small hotspot that seemed to be caused by hair pulling (i hadn't been "manscaping" while the device was gone), and was the hotspot was further aggravated when i shaved the area and nicked myself. We'll see if the area can heal while i wear the device. Tonight we finally had a little downtime and ended up in bed talking, hugging and kissing, which led to MyBride asking me to do her, which i happily did. After a very nice orgasm she said "Maybe i'll do you tomorrow night. I know you'll be thinking about it all day." When i groaned she asked "How does that ring fit now?" "It is pretty tight at the moment" i had to confess.

As you'll recall from my previous post, on Monday MyBride hinted that Tuesday she might allow me an orgasm. Well here it is Thursday, and that orgasm has yet to occur and i remain securely locked. i wish i could say that was due to some amazing tease or mind fuck, but it is because life got in the way. i tweaked my back on Tuesday and was feeling poorly, so i was off to bed early and in no mood to play, and Wednesday was much the same. My back is improving, so hopefully we'll be able to play again soon. In other news, the fit of the JB seems to be very good now. The hot spot mentioned in my previous post has healed without device removal, and it seems my body is adapting to the device; i notice it less and less. Issues with my previous device's fit and reliability (surprise failures and severe pinching) prevented me from wearing the device to work, so during the week i was always unlocked in the morning and locked back up when i returned home. Extended wear only occurred on weekends and holidays, and even then there were releases for cleaning. So the biggest news is that with the comfort and reliability of the JB we have decided that now i will remain locked 24x7. i have been that way since last Friday, so this is by far the longest i've ever gone without being released, and although i've gone longer without an orgasm, being locked away 24x7, unable to touch my junk and knowing there is absolutely no release until she wants to play is an amazing, challenging, mind blowing and frustrating experience.:shock: As all of you who practice long term chastity will understand, it is exactly what i asked for, and i love it and i hate it. i'm excited about the road ahead.

Dang...issues with hot spots continue. i did get through being caged in the JB for 7 days straight, and it was an amazing experience not being able to touch myself or have an erection during that entire time. That was a first for me. But toward the end i had another hot spot -- they always occur in the same location -- and i finally had to be let out to take care of it. Also, the last 2 times, while the hot spot felt very localized (there was a visible small sore in the skin where it hurt), when i removed the ring i found a one inch long -- not sure what to call it -- thin little cut? split? in the skin where the ring sits. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? i inspected the basering more closely to see if something is causing the "cut" and irritation, and although i didn't see any obvious rough spots or defects, i used my dremel to wire brush the ring smooth and am locked back up to try again. Finally, our play has been limited recently due to a back injury i suffered. Things are improving slowly so i'm hoping the cage problems and back issues resolve soon and we can get back to more serious play.

chasethub: I found the info in your posts very informative in regards to dealing with the problems with wearing a cb. You indicated you and your kh had issues in the beginning as a result of you topping from the bottom. I appreciate you sharing this information so that hopefully I can avoid the same problems. One thing your referred to in some of your posts was that you and your kh had a contract. I have searched this site and numerous other sites and the only copies of contracts I have been able to find all involve chastity and some other form of fetish ie; pegging, punishment, sissification, wlm/flr etc. I intend to approach my wife to put the idea of chastity to her, however I want to limit it to just chastity otherwise it would be to much for her to accept and I would be quite happy if that is all we ever do(other things could be introduced if my wife wishes to later on). I was wondering if you or any other member would be willing to share their contract with me so I can draft one to show my wife.

@newtochast57 i'm glad you have found my posts helpful. i went looking for the electronic copy of our contract and found i have misplaced the (password protected) flash drive i had that stored on. i will look for that, but in the meantime, our contract is much simpler now than it was initially. We originally had specifics about time intervals i would be locked up, punishments for misbehavior, etc. That put a lot of pressure on Her, there was too much accounting involved, and it took away Her control of the situation...the calendar decided when i should be unlocked. Now there are no time periods, She decides. There are expectations on things i'm to do around the house, and while that list was long at the start, She took back many of chores because She likes to do them. i still have specific chores, including getting Her breakfast daily (i like helping Her start Her day in a pleasant way, and include love notes on Her napkin), making the bed, etc. There are also expectations about how i should treat Her, always with respect and as a gentleman. If i start to get out of line (arguing with Her, being rude, etc.) She has a code word She can say to remind me She's in charge; upon hearing that word i am to immediately correct my behavior. She has yet to use it, but it is there. And there is a provision that She can ask me to do things for Her at anytime, and i'm always to do those things in a timely and cheerful way. There are no punishments or rewards for doing or not doing the things above...but obviously whether i do or don't do those things affects Her mood. Since she decides, so it is in my best interest to keep her happy. Lastly, there is an appendix that describes things i enjoy and would like Her to do, but again, She decides. That was included because She hates being "mean," but i would enjoy more teasing, so i wanted Her to know the kinds of things i would love Her try. She has tried a few of those things, and i'm hoping over time She'll try the others. i hope that helps. i would just draft something, and then sit down with her and a red pen and capture both of your hopes and expectations for your chastity play. Good luck!

Chastehub, Our first one had the intervals and all that too, but we've changed it 3 times now.:) it still has a lot of info in it but changed that kind of stuff so we go at our pace!:) in the beginning I was paranoid about the milking and all that lol.

Thanks "chasthub" and "LadynMonkey for the reply. Our first contract will have some guidelines with timelines simply for the reason that this will be totally new to my wife and I will make it simpler an less stressful for her. There will be a provision that once she has the keys that she will have total command on intervals, however the timelines are still there until she is more comfortable. > There are no punishments or rewards for doing or not doing the things above...but obviously whether I do or don't do those things affects Her mood. Since she decides, so it is in my best interest to keep her happy. I like the idea of no punishments or rewards as again it places less stress on my wife having to do something that she is not comfortable with. Obviously if I want to continue with "the game" it would be in my best interest to do as she requests. I will not list any chores other than to indicate that I am responsible for any chores she indicates that she wants done. I like the idea of the "code word" if i am not performing my tasks or chores to her satisfaction. Both of you have indicated that your contracts have changed as you go along. I will be proposing a 3 month contract as a trial period. Part of that contract will have that at least once a week that we sit down and discuss not only what is right or wrong for us with "the game" but as well it will be time were both of us get out in the open any issues that we wish to discuss outside the game. As far as the game goes I will have imput to suggest changes, additions or deletions however the keyholder will have the final says as to what changes are or are not made. If all goes well I hope to dive in the pool this Sunday. newtochast57

We don't have a contract as she is quite comfortable in her role and likes to keep me on my toes by changing things up. Sometimes we have a specific date of release. Other times she just likes to keep me guessing. > member_d989573af5 wrote:If all goes well I hope to dive in the pool this Sunday. Just remember to leave the keys on the pool deck.:lol: Good Luck.

Tomorrow marks my first full month of being locked in my MM JB 24x7. There have been no issues with wearing the device at work, and i have gotten quite used to the device to the point i often forget it is there. In fact, last night i reached down to scratch an itch and was startled when i felt the cage. Over the past month i was released once for a couple days to resolve a "hot spot" -- that problem has not reoccurred -- and a couple times for doctors appointments. Otherwise, i have only been released for her to bring me to orgasm, on average once a week. MyBride has become comfortable with leaving me locked up while she enjoys an orgasm, and then rolling over so i can snuggle her to sleep while my junk tries to explode from the cage. Also, when she does release me, we leave the basering in place, and after play when things soften (which can take a while as the ring restricts blood flow), she has me lock right back up. With the CB6000 locking up was more involved, so i was usually left unlocked overnight after we played, and i'll admit there were times i woke in the middle of the night and rubbed out another orgasm. Now that is no longer an option. My hope, and i have shared this with her, is that when she releases me it is not always for an orgasm, but sometimes just for edging and/or a ruined orgasm. So far she has always allowed me a full orgasm, but i look forward to (and also dread) the day she doesn't. Be careful what you wish for...right?

It has been 10 days since my last orgasm, which is not the longest i've ever gone, but the longest since being locked up continuously in the JB. MyBride had intentions of playing last week, but life got in the way so i remained locked up, and then she went out of town for 4 days. She returned late last night, but was tired from a long day, so we went straight to bed. As we spooned and she drifted off, i had a raging erection trying to break the bars of the cage, and eventually had to get up to give things a chance to settle down. While she was away i didn't feel particularly horny, and even as we snuggled i didn't feel horny on an emotional level, so it was interesting to see how my body reacted to her return. Hoping we get to play soon; i'm obviously ready.

i've noticed that MyBride's and my orgasm ratio is almost 1:1; when i bring her to orgasm she almost always returns the favor, with a few rare exceptions where she rolls over and says "thanks." And she has yet to unlock me, edge me and have me lock back up. Further, the longest i have gone without an orgasm is about 2 weeks, and that was back when we first started playing. Recently it has been about 6 days or less between orgasms. i'm noticing the sexual energy that drives my desire to serve her seems lower than in the past, and i've been wondering how that energy would change with longer lock-ups. Lastly, i've always wanted to try going 30days without orgasm. So at the risk of topping from the bottom, on 31Mar i asked her to make April a "no orgasm month." So no orgasms until 1May or later; the actual release date is for her to decide. i asked her to hold firm; if i get into a horny lather and start to beg to be released early the answer is "no." And i asked that she consider unlocking me a time or two along the way for teasing. She said "Are you sure? Is this an April fools?" and i told her i was serious. She tugged on the cage, smiled and said "i don't understand you but, OK." my first thought was "Be careful what you wish for" as my crank strained against the cage.

Sometimes putting your goals out there helps us kh's know what exactly we have to work with. As long as you accept that you may not get what you want because it's ultimately our decision. Just knowing hey we CAN push further helps us... we won't know unless we are told and you could start to resent us for not doing what you want even if we have no clue (can you tell I'm in the middle of writing a post about this? Haha) Good luck and I hope things are very frustrating for you!:)

> Lady M wrote:Good luck and I hope things are very frustrating for you!:) :?

We're 12 days, 20 hours and 56 minutes into this current denial period, but who's counting. So far so good. i'm not clawing at the cage and am not wildly horny, but maybe that will happen as we get further into the month. We have been on the go and haven't had much couple time, but i have managed to bring MyBride to a couple nice orgasms. There has been very little teasing from her side, although as i was leaving for work yesterday and we kissed goodbye, she reached down and gave the boys a quick squeeze. The journey continues...

It has now been 22 days since my last O. i didn't keep careful records of my longest time without an O before, but it was on the order of 14 days, so we're well into uncharted territory. And due to the agreement made on 31Mar (see earlier post), i won't have an O for at least 10 more days. Going without an O this long hasn't been as bad as i thought it might be, but there also hasn't been a lot of teasing. Having said that, the other night as we snuggled in bed She reached down and started playing with the twins and stroking me through the JB cage. She has always enjoyed playing with the twins, but stroking me through the cage was new (and prior to this year, impossible with the CB6000). Within minutes i was as hard as i could get in the cage, and She continued stroking me through the bars for some time as i moaned with pleasure and frustration. She then stopped, kissed me goodnight, rolled over and asked me to spooon Her to sleep. i laid there wide awake for an hour listening to Her breathing deepen as She drifted off, while i waited for my boner to subside and counted my lucky stars with a big smile on my face. Since the start of April we have had a few sessions where i've brought her to some nice Os, but not as many as we would like. Our play time has been limited due in large part to poor calendar management, with the biggest problem being the scheduling early events on Saturday and Sunday. We're reworking our priorities and calendars to keep weekend mornings open for play time, in addition to our already scheduled Monday night dates. I'm looking forward to more couple time!

Wow! MyBride is an amazing lady! Yesterday after we woke and had some snuggle time, MyBride told me to go wait in the bathroom. When she finally told me to come out i found she had readied the bed with restraints and soon i was spread eagle and unable to move. She pulled out the key and removed the cage, which left me straining for her touch. i can't remember a time that i was more wanting. After some slow, romantic teasing she started a nice hand job. i think her intent was just to tease me, but after 23 days of being locked up and thanks to lots of teasing in the prior week, i was at the edge in an instant. i warned her that i was there, but she kept going and when she saw me start over the falls she let me have a full on O. It was fantastic, and left me in a gelatinous afterglow of love and appreciation for MyBride.

> member_5352a6fd72 wrote:i think her intent was just to tease me... We had some couple time last night and we reflected on our session Sunday morning. She mentioned that my O seemed especially intense (it was, the most intense ever) and i pointed out that after 20+ days of denial i had a lot of pent up energy. She asked "you keep track of the days since your last O?" and i said "well, on 31Mar we set a challenge that April was a no O month, and we were 20 days into April" (not to mention, doesn't every guy in chastity know exactly how long its been?). She said "oh, I forgot about that challenge." So it turns out Her intent that morning was not to tease, but to go the distance. In hindsight, that probably added some intensity to our session since as She was bringing me close i was thinking i wasn't allowed to cum and was holding back with all my might. i was expecting her to stop any moment and leave me at the edge, and then as i started to cum i thought she would ruin it. When she didn't do either, it turned into the most intense O ever.

It has been over a month since i posted, in part because we took a vacation from chastity play while my sore spot healed up. There is one spot under the base ring of my JB where i get a small sore; as i look down it is just right of the lock post. Always in the exact same spot. It looks like a layer or two of skin are being rubbed off leaving a small divot. i have tried all kinds of lubes and lotions to prevent it from forming. And once the sore spot forms it won't heal until we take a break; i have tried bandaids, bandages of all forms and lots of topical medications, but with the ring over that spot it steadily gets worse until she unlocks me and we take a break. Recently we took a fairly long break, probably close to two weeks, to make sure things healed fully, but despite a premium lube, within a day of locking back up the sore spot returned. I'm using bandaids and a topical medication to slow the growth of the sore spot until next week when she'll need to unlock me for almost 2 months of traveling. When she unlocks me i'll do some more work on the base ring. i had a problem with multiple sore spots the archived discussion when I first got the JB, and after wire brushing and polishing the base ring all but this one sore spot resolved. There is nothing visible to the naked eye or touch, but i'll try more wire brushing and polishing. I have a hard time believing it is the ring itself though, because although the ring does tend to find one orientation and stay there, it does move around some too, and this sore spot is very localized. The sore spot aside, I love the JB; it is incredibly comfortable and i forget i'm wearing it (except, of course, when it is doing the job it was designed for). This sore spot is preventing full-on play, however, and that is more frustrating than the full-on play itself. Our long breaks from chastity have reminded me how differently i behave, both in and out of the bedroom, when i don't have the constant reminder of her control and authority over me. i like the locked up me better. Yesterday morning i brought her to a nice O, and then she said we were done and needed to get up and get ready for the day. i asked if she knew how much power she had over me and she said "yes, and i want to use it more." Also, I had put a new lock, the Abus 65/20 ... 04C2YKYO/2 on my amazon wish list, and without me knowing she bought it, and one evening gave me the key to the old lock along with the new lock open and ready for use (no key) and told me to swap out locks. More and more she's enjoying the game, and so am i. Hopefully i can figure out the cause of this "sore spot" and get it resolved. I'll have 2 full months to heal, and then we'll try again.

We had a quiet summer in the chastity department due to a lot of travel -- we just dabbled a little -- but i'm now 2 days into an approximately 40 day lockup that will timeout on our anniversary. We tried a 30 day lockup in the past, but only got about 20 days in before MyBride forgot we were going for 30 days and gave me an orgasm. i saw a post about a couple making a bet: her getting a romantic getaway if she kept him locked up, and him getting a fishing trip if she didn't, so i proposed the same to MyBride. We haven't figured out what each wins if the other loses the bet, but have agreed to think about that and formalize the bet in a couple days. With our anniversary to mark the date, and the incentives of the bet, we'll see if we go the distance this time. i'm excited to explore these uncharted waters of extended tease and denial, and discover what it is like to go that long without an O. One other thing that has limited us in the past is a hot spot that forms in the same spot at the top of my JB's basering. I have an oval ring, and recently put it in a vice to round it a little. So far so good, but this is the first extended wear since i made the adjustments so it is too soon to tell. In other JB news, i was locked up a while back and quite horny, so i started to masturbate myself with the cage on and managed to cum. No vibrator; i know can easily cum while locked with the help of a vibrator. i was quite surprised and also troubled since isn't the prevention of masturbation the whole point of the cage? Based on some Tame Lion posts, i believe my cage is a 1/4in too long, and that may have contributed to my "success", so after this lockup period i plan to get that adjusted. Anyone else ever manage to masturbate to orgasm in their cage?

I was successful once in my CB6000s but that temptation broke the device. I tried once in my JB but failed and I was ok with that.

i'm now 10 days without an orgasm, with about 30 more days ahead of me. So far it hasn't been too bad; i'm not clawing at the cage..........yet. We did have a first: about 4 days in MyBride released me from the cage, teased me but held short of an orgasm, and then locked me back up. She tied me to the bed, unlocked the cage and then played with me while watching her favorite TV show. She would get me aroused, then take a break, get me aroused, take a break; over and over. This went on for 40 minutes. She stayed way back from the edge, maybe because as i get close She has a hard time stopping Herself. Regardless, it was wonderful and a huge step for Her. i'm looking forward to more of those sessions, but right now we're battling colds and playtime has been on hold. The biggest frustration is with the basering on my JB: during extended wear it rubs me raw in one small spot, the same spot every time. i bought the oval ring, so after consulting with MM i put the basering in my vice and rounded it out. It seems more comfortable and fit / function is still good, but that spot had already been rubbed raw and is not healing while the ring is on. i'm going to have to ask for a break from the cage to allow things to heal, and do my best to avoid temptation during my time unlocked. i'm not sure what is causing this extremely localized problem, and i'm hoping the round ring will fix it; i've tried polishing the ring, all kinds of lubes and lotions, so if it doesn't fix the problem i'm out of ideas.

Since our last update we took a short break from chastity to let everything heal completely, but have been back in the game for a couple of weeks now. Other than an eight-hour break due to metal detectors at a sporting event and a 36-hour break because of an out-of-town trip, She has kept me locked continuously. Rounding the base ring has helped; although "that spot" is still sensitive, it isn't being rubbed raw like before. I guess for some people the oval ring just doesn't work well. For the first time since we bought it, I'm finally able to wear the JB indefinitely. Gulp:? <tugs on lock and mumbles something incoherent>

In my last post I talked about rounding out the base ring of my MM JB and how it improved resolving a sore spot that formed regularly in one place under and between the base ring and cage ring. It was an improvement, but the sore spot still returned. So although we've played on and off over the past year, I haven't managed to go much more than a week of constant wear before the sore spot came back and put an end to the game. The folks at MM just increased the diameter of the base ring slightly and widened the gap size slightly as well. After 24+ hours locked in it is MUCH more comfortable, with no sign that the sore spot is returning again. I'm hoping the problem is finally resolved so we can get on with some long-term play. As I type this phrase "BCWYWF" keeps going through my head.:oops:

Several weeks have passed since I had the MM JB resized and I can declare that the problem with sore spots is resolved. That has changed our dynamic; before, the longest I could go was one or two weeks before taking a break to let things heal. Now I can wear the device indefinitely and realize the comfort (and frustration) other JB wearers report. We haven't set any new duration records yet, but I'm sure that will happen. At the start of this journey, when the lock first clicked, my submissive fires raged. I started doing all the chores around the house, cooked all meals, did all shopping, bought cards and flowers -- and that sudden change freaked out MyBride. We worked on finding a happy medium between the old (me doing little) and the new (me doing everything). We found that happy medium for a while, but over time I've drifted back toward my old ways. Now that She has me securely locked in, she is again squarely at the center of every thought. We have also added a new daily routine: I kneel and kiss Her feet every morning. It is amazing how that simple act stokes my submissive fires; it acts like Ctrl-Alt-Del to reset my frame of mind. MyBride has been working on teasing me as well. We've had several sessions where She tied me spread eagle, removed the cage, and slowly rubbed just the tip of my junk while watching Her favorite TV shows. My pleasure ramps up slowly, but after 20 minutes it gets intense. She is getting good at reading me and determining when to back off from the edge before ramping again. I find myself straining against the bonds, realizing I am completely out of control and hating -- yet loving -- every minute of it. When Her shows are over, the cage goes back on, leaving me spooning Her with a raging hard-on trying to break through the steel. And yesterday morning we both woke before our alarms. We snuggled and caressed, and before you know it I brought Her to a quick orgasm. She patted the cage, said "thanks" and headed to the shower. I love that the game is back on...

I was unlocked over the Christmas holidays (from about mid-December) due to numerous house guests and travels. I wasn't relocked until last Saturday when, at my suggestion, we agreed to get the game going again by having me give up orgasms for Lent. 40 days without an orgasm would set a new record for us (by far). We have tried extended periods of denial before...once with a goal of 30 days...but just over 20 days in she got carried away during a play session, forgot about the goal and let me cum. (For the record, I'm not complaining...she is the sole decision maker regarding if and when.) This time, however, I think she may go the distance. The other night, after I gave her a nice orgasm, she was stroking me through the JB cage and said "too bad he doesn't get to come out and play for a month." I was instantly straining against the cage and listened to her gentle snores for over an hour as I spooned her and struggled to fall asleep.

Oh what a night... Last night was the Grammy Awards, and that line from the song -- December 1963 by the Four Seasons -- is going through my head as I think about our evening. After a busy day carrying over into the evening, we finally retired to the bedroom where MyBride surprised me by tying me to the bed spreadeagled. Just after tying me down, she climbed on top and humped me slowly and sensually while I strained against the bonds at my wrists and ankles, and against the cage. Humping me while caged was a first, and VERY hot. Then she tugged on the cage and said "you told me not to take this off for Lent." I reminded her that I suggested giving up orgasms for Lent, but that she could still let me out of the cage for teasing. She thought about it for a couple seconds and said she wasn't sure she could remove the cage because she might get carried away. Oh God...what a BCWYWF moment.:shock: While I had her full and undivided attention, she got down to her agenda...she felt that lately I've been watching too much TV and haven't been as attentive or helpful as a "love slave" should be (a fair assessment). We agreed that going forward the only time I get to watch TV is with her feet in my lap and the remote in her hands. I can request certain shows, but she ultimately decides and has total control of the TV. We also agreed that to keep my submissive juices flowing, when I arrive home I must immediately get naked except for my bathrobe and begin looking for ways to help her around the house. If at any time I am not being attentive she can say "kneel," and I am to kneel at her feet immediately in a submissive posture (knees spread, sitting back on my heels with hands behind my back) while she tells me what she wants done. I must rise and do as asked without question or complaint. From there she started the award show and began stroking me slowly. She kept me straining against the cage for the entire duration of the show. Luckily, before getting started we had recorded most of it so she was able to skip through commercials and boring parts; otherwise it would have been a very long teasing session. It was an amazing couple of hours filled with both wonder and frustration. When the show ended and she untied me, I offered a nice orgasm in return for the attention she showed me. She said "no, I'm tired, maybe tomorrow" and turned out the light. Oh what a night...

Last weekend, along with the lead-up to it, were among MyBride's and my busiest and most stressful times of the year. We looked forward to this week for some decompressing, relaxation and play, but then we both came down (not that way, but I wish) with colds. Consequently, there hasn't been much teasing or play. She has had me locked for 19 days now, and there are 28 days left until the end of Lent. Just typing that, realizing we aren't even halfway through, causes twitching in my cage. I hope we can shake these colds soon and get back to feeling like playing.

When I suggested to MyBride that I give up orgasms for Lent, I don't think I understood how long 40+ days really is. Not only that, but she locked me up the weekend before Lent started, so all told it will have been 47 days between orgasms, assuming she allows me to cum when Lent is over. I've been locked and orgasm-free for 27 days -- already a record for us -- with 20 more to go. Also, I was hoping for some out-of-cage teasing during this time, but so far she hasn't produced the key. I think she doesn't trust herself since last time we went for a record; she got carried away during a teasing session and allowed me to cum. The other night I brought her to a nice orgasm and as we snuggled afterward she teased me through the cage and asked "how's your Lent been." The first word that came to mind was "frustrating." The lights were out but I could feel her smile.

Glad to hear that. We started chastity in our 60s. Going on four years now. We were already good to go in both departments when we began, so nothing changed there regarding the basics. The thing that did change was that my wife took charge of our sex life for the first time. I owe her a few thousand orgasms to repay her for the sexual freedom she gave me. Now it is all about her.

Last night MyBride tied me spread eagle to the bed and enjoyed the final episode of Downton Abbey while teasing me through the cage; it was a two-hour ordeal. I asked if She was going to unlock me (I really long for the feel of a full erection and Her skillful stroking). She replied that it has been so long -- 31 days now -- that I would cum too easily, so she didn't want any accidents. While I'd love to be unlocked, She is probably right. So locked in I stayed, straining against the cage. Torture, heavenly torture.

> member_5352a6fd72 wrote: > and then enjoyed the final episode of Downton Abbey >:lol: My wife knows that having to watch Downton Abbey would be a punishment for me.

> member_56a3d51043 wrote: > > member_5352a6fd72 wrote: > and then enjoyed the final episode of Downton Abbey >:lol: My wife knows that having to watch Downton Abbey would be a punishment for me. She was sitting between me an the TV so I couldn't watch that show if I wanted to, only listen. It didn't really matter because there was a different show on which I was much more interested in, a porno of sorts involving a lot of moaning, mostly my moaning.:D

I gave up orgasms for Lent, and thankfully Lent finally ended on Thursday. On Friday we woke and I slowly brought MyBride to a nice orgasm. She tugged on my cage and said "tonight I'm going to tie you to the bed and give you a nice orgasm." After 48 days of being locked up it was all I could think about all day. True to her word, that night she tied me to the bed, but at first she didn't unlock me. She slowly played with me through the cage and had me yearning for a full erection. After about 20 minutes I wondered if she was going to unlock me, but she finally pulled out the key, unlocked me and went to work (the first time she had touched me without the cage since the start of Lent). The feeling of her touch was beyond wonderful. She proceeded slowly and eventually brought me to the edge. I asked if I could cum and she said "I haven't decided, but not right now." Oh God, I was desperate yet loving the way she exerted control. She continued slowly and when I let her know I was close she stopped. Normally at that point I would have just calmed back down without cumming, but I was so aroused with no further stimulation that I continued up and over the edge to a ruined orgasm. I truly tried to stop myself, but the hot scene combined with all the pent-up pressure was too much for me. She wasn't happy with me for cumming without permission; after untying me she told me to lock back up. On Saturday we again had a morning session where she enjoyed a nice orgasm. There was no mention of unlocking me then either. But Saturday night she decided to work on her backlog of recorded TV shows. She tied me to the bed and played with me through the cage while watching her shows. After some heavy teasing I let her know I had a bad pinch under my balls. I thought she would untie me for a moment so I could fix things, but instead she pulled out the key and unlocked the cage. She continued slowly playing with me as she finished her shows; it was pure, wonderful torture. As she turned off the TV I begged her to finish me. She began stroking me and I wondered if again she would stop or ruin my orgasm, but she had mercy and allowed me a full orgasm. It was the most intense I've ever experienced and left me truly spent. She is becoming very good at teasing me, and I am starting to understand all the fun and frustration long-term chastity can bring.

Yesterday I wrote a love letter to MyBride expressing how much I love that after three and a half years of chastity play we have rediscovered the romance and sex we enjoyed early in our marriage. I confessed that through the "dry years" I had been masturbating; essentially wasting sexual energy that should have been directed at her. It was the first time I had admitted this to her, and after reading the letter she acknowledged that during those times she too wasn't making much effort in the romance department (although she said nothing about whether she was masturbating or not). Despite all our progress, I think there is still room for my growth (not in the cage, but in our romantic life). I can still be very selfish at times and not terribly thoughtful or helpful around the house. Also, sometimes I try to exert control through what MyBride calls "barking"; using an authoritative tone that she doesn't appreciate (I even did that once while she had me tied to the bed -- not smart). So in the letter I proposed a 45-day "better husband" challenge (we just finished the "giving up orgasms for Lent" challenge). The better husband challenge builds on things we are already doing. It consists of two daily check-ins -- one morning, one night -- where I kneel at her feet and we talk. I have been doing a morning check-in: kneeling and kissing her feet to signal my love and devotion; finding that kneeling before her is such a submissive posture and stokes my fires. The change we are making is adding an evening check-in, along with talking during those times. During the morning check-in, while I kneel before her, she will tell me things she wants done for her that day or behaviors she wants me to work on. I make these my focus for the day. During the evening check-in, still kneeling before her, I ask about her day and listen intently. She uses that time too to provide feedback on how well I did regarding what she asked of me; I only talk about my own day when asked. Finally, we added the rule that if/when I am not being thoughtful, or barking, or she needs me for something, she can say "kneel" and I must immediately stop talking, kneel before her, await instructions, and correct any problems or do what is requested without delay. She agreed to my proposal. My hope is that by the end of the 45 days she sees good progress and is even happier with our romantic life.

> member_5352a6fd72 wrote: Yesterday I wrote a love letter to MyBride expressing how much I love that after 3 1/2 years of chastity play we have rediscovered the romance and sex we enjoyed early in our marriage. A quick note: after I wrote the letter, but before she read it, we met for lunch. During lunch she told me about her morning meeting with a friend whose marriage is falling apart. There are many issues, among them being a total lack of intimacy; it is a very sad situation. I realize that our marriage too was in an intimacy death spiral; adding chastity play has breathed new life into the romantic part of our marriage, and that spills over into all other parts. MyBride recognizes the benefits of chastity play, and now she often asks: "will I still be locking up your crank when we're in the nursing home?" I don't know, but I sure hope so!

During Sunday daytime MyBride said She was going to "rock my world" that night. When Sunday evening arrived she wasn't feeling well, and the evening ended with me just holding Her. Monday night She told me to "get out the stuff," meaning the bondage cuffs, and secured me spread-eagle to the bed. Then She removed the cage and Her panties, lubed us up and climbed aboard. She told me I did NOT have permission to cum, then proceeded to ride me while fingering Herself to a huge orgasm. She had never done that before and it was HOT, HOT, HOT! I managed not to cum, but having been eight days since my last release, I was very horny and it took everything in me to hold back. As soon as she climbed off she grabbed more lube and began stroking the penis. I wondered if this would be just an edging session, a full orgasm or something in-between. As I approached the edge let Her know I was getting close and asked if I had permission to cum. Much to my relief She said "yes." In seconds she stroked me to a mind-blowing orgasm that lasted a very long time. After some cleanup She removed the cuffs and told me to lock back up as soon as things settled down. It was an amazing night. I did not suggest ordering her not to cum while using my penis to help Her get off; that idea came entirely from Her doing. I love how she is taking control and enjoying it. She truly rocked my world!

It has been ages since I last posted here... partly because of all the access issues caused by hackers and their redirect tricks.:evil: Since my previous post, MyBride and I have kept up our chastity play intermittently. When we are playing, I don't wear the jailbird to work -- I lock up when I return home and she releases me before I leave in the morning -- but I took a two-week vacation for the holidays. Since it has been a quiet holiday with no travel, I have been locked up continuously since 16Dec. MyBride wakes up every day to lots of cuddling, and most days she is willing to continue on to a nice orgasm. About every fourth day she ties me spread eagle to the bed, unlocks me and plays with me. She still struggles with "being mean," however, so each time she has unlocked me she brings me to an orgasm, albeit very nice toe-curling ones. It is an interesting dichotomy discussed countless times on this forum, but while I love the orgasms, I would also like to experience being stirred into a horny froth followed by immediate lock up. Nevertheless, our play is wonderful and I have so much to be thankful for. But I still hope someday she will take things up another level.