Drafting a Chastity Contract

Hello there, I’m KH jetzs and my husband and I are new to male chastity. We want to begin with a clear understanding of expectations by drafting a contract. While the agreement is very personal, I’d love to hear from anyone who has experience using one.

I can come up with around 50 things I want him to do (or avoid doing), but I’m unsure what needs to be included on his end. I hope to create something more substantial than a simple list of rules he must follow.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

> member_91c91d4875 wrote: > Hello there, I'm KH jetzs and my husband and I are new to male chastity. We want to begin with a clear understanding of expectations by drafting a contract. While the agreement is very personal, I'd love to hear from anyone who has experience using one. > > I can come up with around 50 things I want him to do (or avoid doing), but I'm unsure what needs to be included on his end. I hope to create something more substantial than a simple list of rules he must follow. > > Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Send me a private message and I can email you the template I created:)

There are plenty of posts about Chastity contracts. Just use the forum search feature with the word "contract" and you can review them individually to hopefully get some ideas.

Wishful4, Thank you so much! I will do that!

Right at the top of our agreement is a paragraph explaining the aim of the Chastity contract. Why are you (both of you) doing this? Our document continues by stating that anything no longer supporting the goal must either change or be punished. I mention this because it helped us avoid getting lost in endless scenario definitions, punishments, rewards, timetables, duties, etc. Wishful4 is correct; there are lots of contracts available if you look. We all agree that 95% of them aren't great, but there isn't consensus on which 5% actually work:) It's your contract. Own it.

To give some context, I bought the device thinking my husband wanted it as an occasional toy. Now I realize he prefers to wear one constantly, so I am trying to accommodate him with t&d and psychological teasing. He has been quite nice lately (no more of that old "I'm the man, what I say goes" attitude, and less negativity toward everything I do). The device I purchased was uncomfortable, so he ordered a custom one. While waiting for it to arrive, I thought it would be fun to have a pre-contract to test things out. So, I drafted one up and showed him when we went out for dinner over the weekend. He didn't sign it yet because he was concerned about keeping everything positive. His explanations were vague, and I'm not sure if that means code for "I plan to act however I want". Things were terrible yesterday--I asked him to eat some soup I had prepared for the family, and he made excuses, causing things to go downhill from there. I told him I thought he might not be truly submissive and may only wish to submit under "certain" circumstances. He ultimately apologized for everything, but this doesn't seem like the right attitude for someone requesting lock up. Any of you who have been at this a while, I would appreciate your perspective or any advice. Thanks for reading.

Well spotted! Although she has her share of detractors, Sarah Jameson (or Lady Whisky: Share a Jameson. Geddit?) offers some wisdom on what you have encountered regarding control from the bottom up in her publication titled "Be careful what you wish for" (though it is somewhat overpriced). I mentioned in my last post that both of you need to agree why you are pursuing this MCL (Male Chastity Lifestyle). It seems consensus hasn't been reached yet. What do you want out of it? What does he want? Where is the common ground? Is there any (I hope so)? This whole MCL approach only works if you are both prepared to put in the effort. It isn't easy wearing a CD, and it isn't easy being the Key Holder. You can't force him, and he can't force you. Work together and the magic will begin:) Go for it!

LTC, Thank you so much for your reply. I think you raise some points we missed amidst the excitement. We discussed it, and he says his primary goal is to be a better person for me. He views CDL as a tool to bring us closer together. I agree, though I also suspect his intentions may not be entirely altruistic, which is fine too. I still wonder about his submissiveness, but he claims he is working on his issues and really wants to continue with the CDL. Since deciding to adopt the CDL, he has become someone who no longer purposefully pushes my buttons; he is in a good mood most of the time and usually willing to do anything I ask. When he has "flashbacks" like the other day, it scares me because I know I can't go back to how things used to be. After we married, I gave up quite a lot (I had a PhD and a promising career) and essentially became his servant. As a stay-at-home mom with a grumpy, uncooperative husband, I was unhappy without realizing it. I really hope this turns into a permanent change. Thanks so much for your advice!

As and when your husband finds a device he can wear constantly without complaint and the absence makes his dick grow fonder, just remember the contract. Don't give in, don't bend the rules, and enjoy the resulting magic. You both will change, as will your circumstances—so ensure that the contract remains a living document able to evolve with you both. It sounds like you have adopted CDL for all the right reasons; I wish you both well.