cockislockedanswers discovered via chastity

I’ll kick things off by going back to the very beginning, as far back as my memory goes. Feel free to leave a comment or ask me anything.

If you had asked me six months ago where I would end up, I never would have guessed it.

Let me provide some context before we dive into this journey, because it matters:

I’m in my mid-30s, married for 16 years to a wife who is just entering her early 30s, and together we have two teenagers. I work as a police officer on the tactical team.

My sexual cravings began long before I understood sex itself—likely around age seven—but those feelings and desires are still vivid in my memory. It all started with a plastic diaper cover I discovered at home.

I didn’t know what masturbation was back then, but I knew I liked being enclosed. I loved how the glossy plastic of that diaper cover felt against my penis.

One day, my favorite diaper cover disappeared. For days on end, I scoured every spot where my parents might have hidden it, searching with the desperate intensity of someone seeking a fix for their addiction. But I never found it.

Soon after, I discovered my next obsession: maxi pads. I wasn’t sure what they were used for, but I knew that the attractive women on TV said they provided comfort, confidence, and protection. The idea sold me instantly.

I began sneaking my mom’s scented feminine hygiene products. I still recall the thrill of opening those packages or feeling those sexual impulses while walking down the feminine care aisle at the grocery store. Even though I didn’t fully understand their purpose, I craved that rush I felt when wearing them.

Tying myself up while wearing pads gave me an incredible surge of pleasure.

When I was ten years old on a family trip, I asked my parents if I could buy “real” handcuffs from a souvenir shop. They firmly said no, worried I would torment my siblings with them.

I grew up in a rural farming area with limited social interaction and only three TV channels. Despite this, I loved watching police dramas featuring people being cuffed, frisked, and locked away. I fantasized about playing both roles: the arrestee as well as the authority figure. Masturbation was still unknown to me, so my sexual tension built up steadily over time.

One day, I heard my mom expressing disbelief that her cousin was still bedwetting at an older age and had to wear “adult diapers,” specifically Attends brands. That caught my attention immediately; I didn’t realize such a product existed. I needed some of those diapers—so how could I get them?

I will start off my journey way back when- as early as I can remember. Feel free to comment or if you have any questions. If you would of asked me 6 moths ago, I would never have imagined to be where I am today. Let me give you some background before we begin the journey, as this plays an important part: I am in my mid 30’s, my wife of 16 years is in her early 30’s and we have 2 teens. I work as a cop, and I am part of the tactical team. My sexual desires started long before I knew what sex was- probably when I was about 7, but I can remeber the feelings and desires. It started with a plastic diaper cover I had found at home. I did not know what masturbation was, but I did know I liked the feeling of being contained inside, and the feeling the diaper cover’s glossy plastic had on my penis. One day, I could not find my prized diaper cover, and I searched day after day in all the possible places that my parents might have moved it to. I searched for days like a drug attic looking for a fix. my high. I never did find it. It was not long before I found my next desire. Maxi pads.I did not know what they were for, but I did know that the pretty women on tv spoke of how they gave the feelings of comfort, confidence, protection. I was sold. I started taking my moms maxi pads which were scented femenin. I remember the rush I had opening the packages, or the sexual impulses I had when walking in the femenin hygiene isle at the grocery store. I still did not know what they were for, but i longed for the rush i felt when wearing the pads. I started tying myself up when wearing them, and that gave me an amazing rush. I was 10 years old on a family vacation, when I asked my parents if I could buy a pair of “real” om a souvenir shop. They said a firm no stating i would torment my siblings with them. I grew up in a farm community, with little exposure to other kids, and had only 3 tv channels. I did enjoy watching police shows which featured people being cuffed, frisked and locked up. I fantasized about being in both roles- the one being arrested as well as the figure of authority. I still did not know about masturbation, and my sexual tensions were building as time went on. One day I overheard my mom speaking to someone in disbelief that my cousin was wetting the bed still, and had to wear “adult diapers” called Attends. I was immediately intrigued. I had no idea such a thing existed. I had to get some of these diapers-but how??

I felt increasingly desperate for that same rush from opening, smelling, and touching Always maxi pads. My next goal was to acquire some of those Attends diapers I had discovered. During my visits to my cousins' house, I secretly but urgently searched his room and basement for this "diaper stash." Although I never found the specific pack there, I eventually located them at the pharmacy. I sank to new lows by shoplifting these diapers. I would tear open a package and grab about two; they were too bulky to take more than that in one go. To this day, I remember their distinct scent vividly. Putting them on gave me such a thrill, yet I remained unaware of masturbation at the time. Had I known, perhaps I could have curbed my urges instead of resorting to theft. Not long after, my parents noticed maxi pad wrappers scattered in our yard where I played and confronted me about it. I was around 11 or 12 years old by then, and my mom set up an appointment with a doctor to investigate the issue. It felt quite embarrassing for a kid back then. One peculiar detail: I always insisted on high-quality products. Attends diapers were plastic and durable, giving me pleasure from being enclosed while also wetting myself inside them. For maxi pads, they had to be Always brand. I crafted homemade restraints at home, enjoying binding myself so tightly that it nearly became impossible for me to free myself. A couple of years later, I finally learned about masturbation and how it relieved my tension. This helped reduce my craving for diapers and maxi pads—for a while. As I entered adulthood sexually, the urge to be restrained or to restrain partners remained strong. Back then, this was less "acceptable," as kink culture hadn’t yet become mainstream. Hell, the Internet was just beginning to emerge, but I didn’t have much access to it back in those days. My wife and I got together when we were teenagers. She once confessed that she had been date raped, a history that has always placed some strain on her comfort with being restrained, even up until today. When she became pregnant with our first child, her libido dropped significantly. This gave me the courage to ask her to put me into diapers. I explained that if there was a physical barrier between my privates and hers, it would bring me peace of mind and stop me from constantly bothering her for sexual relief. This arrangement worked well initially. I adored the sensation she provided when lowering my underwear, rubbing vaseline over my penis, and guiding me on how to position myself as she diapered me. It felt like surrendering control. As years passed, I managed to get her to restrain me with handcuffs during sex whenever possible, though I always wanted more... I went to Home Depot to buy chain links. I modified my existing cuffs into a waist belt setup. The chain wrapped around my midsection. One hand stayed secured at my side (opposite her), while the other retained just enough mobility to reach for vaseline and relieve itself. Essentially, on weekends when my wife likes to sleep in, she was delighted that I mentioned creating a device preventing me from touching her. When early-morning urges hit, I would wrap the chain around myself, secure it tightly, lock it shut, and then masturbate. Having no other choice, I lay there calmly and helplessly after ejaculating. Once my wife woke up, she’d retrieve her cuff keys to un-cuff me. It was thrilling, but still...I needed more. I found myself feeling desperate for the rush I felt from opening, smelling and feeling Always maxi pads. My next mission was to get some of these Attends diapers I had learned of. My next visits to my cousins, I found myself discretely, but desperately searching his room and basement for this "stash of diapers".I never did find them, but I did find them at the pharmacy.I stooped to new levels of low, and began shop lifting the diapers. I would rip open a pack and grab about 2 of them. They were too big to get more. I still remember the very unique scent the Attends diapers had. I felt such a rush putting them on, but yet I was still not in the know of masturbation. If I was, I probably could have stopped my urges and not turned to stealing. It was not long after, my parents realized that they were finding maxi pad wrappers in the forest where I played, and they confronted me. I was about 11 or 12, and my mom made an appointment with a dr of some sorts to try and figure it out. This was very embarassing, especially back then, being a kid etc... One strange thing- I always had to have the high end stuff. Attends diapers were plastic, well made, and I got pleasure from being contained in them, and wetting myself. Maxi pads were Always. I made home made restraints- and I used to enjoy restraining myself almost to the point of not being able to get free. It was a couple of years later, I learned all about masturbation, taking the edge off. This helped with not craving the Diapers and maxi pads.For now. As I became sexually active, I always had urges to be restrained, or to restrain my partners. Back then this was less "acceptable " you could say, and kink was not so popular.Hell the Internet was just starting to come to life, but I really did not have access to it. My wife and I became involved as teens. She confessed to me that she had been dape raped, and that has always and even to this day put a strain on her being restrained. When she was pregnant with our first, her sexual desires went away, and I finally built up some courage to ask her to put me in diapers. I explained that if there was a barrier between my privates and hers- I would have comfort in this and in turn stop bothering her for sexual relief. This worked for a short time. I loved that feeling she gave me when she would pull down my underwear, rub vaseline all over my penis, and give me direction on how she wanted me to place myself as she diapered me. It was a feeling of not having control. As years went on I would get her to restrain me with handcuffs as much as I could during sex. But I wanted more... I went to Home Depot to purchase some chain, and links. I modified my handcuffs, so that they were a body belt. The chain went around my waist. One hand would be secured at my side, ( opposite side of her)while the other hand could just have enough movement to reach into the vaseline, and then relieve myself. Basically on weekends, my wife likes to sleep in, so she was happy when I mentioned I would make a device that would not allow me to touch her . Upon feeling urges to feel her up bright and early on the weekend, I would wrap the chain around myself, secure it, lock it, and masturbate. I would then have no choice but to lay there calmly and helpless after finishing ejaculating. Once misses was awake, she would get her cuff keys, and un-cuff me. This was very exciting, but I needed more...

For reasons I can’t quite explain, I have a strong urge to feel controlled. As I mentioned earlier, my job in law enforcement is unlike any other workplace I know. Infidelity occurs everywhere, but what happens in our field seems unique. Perhaps it’s the 12-to-16 hour shifts surrounded by young, attractive women? Or maybe all that physical wrestling and training contributes to it—I’m not entirely sure. Here’s one thing for certain: being on the tactical response team boosts your popularity significantly. The guys want to party with you, and the women are drawn to our uniforms and status. I consider myself a decent-looking guy, but once I joined the squad at work, my prospects improved greatly—no bragging intended. That said, I’ve watched many relationships crumble or people cheat without getting caught. I love my wife deeply, and being locked up helps assure both her and me that I am 100% fully committed to our marriage. I stumbled upon chastity by accident about six months ago. While browsing porn—a habit I don’t practice too often—I accidentally clicked on a video. I was instantly hooked. I had to watch more videos, read online articles... I wasn’t entirely sure what I was diving into, and quite frankly, it scared me slightly: How do I sell this lifestyle to my wife? Fortunately, I had a plan ready.

I made the decision to try it out. I was intrigued, aroused, and loved the concept of surrendering control over my penis. After reading enough material, I felt ready. I visited a local sex shop, which is where my first mistake occurred. I walked in there hot and horny, convinced that no matter what product I chose, I would end up locked. The sales associate helped me pick out the CB-X "The Curve." It looked large to me at first glance, but as a newcomer to chastity with little knowledge, I thought extra room meant more comfort. I was WRONG. I left the shop and had other errands to run. Could I wait until home? Absolutely not. The urge was too strong; I craved being locked up immediately. I pulled into a secluded spot to prepare. I quickly learned that if you're like me, just thinking about putting on the cage makes your erection grow. It took some time for my body to relax, but with lubricant applied, I slipped in and clicked the lock! I continued with my errands, feeling incredibly aroused. I wondered if people could spot the prominent bulge created by the curve device. My perspective on beautiful women changed too; now they seemed like potential playthings while I was locked and ready. Hoping my wife would accept this new dynamic. It is crucial to mention proper fitting. The Curve cage didn't fit well when soft. When urinating, it sprayed out like a sprinkler head. Every time, I had to roll up toilet paper and stuff the tip of the cage to clean myself as best I could. This was painful, and standing in public became difficult because spraying would soak my clothes and shoes. So, this bitch (me) started peeing sitting down. My wife actually liked that part since it kept our bathroom cleaner! Now I was ready to reveal everything to my wife.

I revealed my fetish and the cage to my wife on the very day I bought it. She was completely surprised; she likely didn't know much about chastity or this lifestyle yet, so it was going to be a shock. Although we had experimented with diapers, restraints for me, and some light bondage while she read through the Fifty Shades series followed by Sylvia Day's heavier books, we never explored true **chastity** before. I exposed my fetish openly. She returned home from work, and I announced a surprise. I led her to our bedroom and blindfolded her, telling her I had bought a sex toy. She replied with hesitant "okaaaays" to everything I said. Meanwhile, I was already locked inside; she had no idea. I reasoned with her: "You know how sexual I am, yet you aren't quite at my level? I pressure you into having sex or giving me a handjob when you're tired or not in the mood... Sometimes I feel like a burden to you. You do it just to keep me happy so you can sleep peacefully." "You know how much I dislike having control, and after everything I've said, I want you to have these," I told her, handing over the keys that came with my cage. She lifted the blindfold, questioning, "What are these?" I pulled down my pants. She saw the cage on my dick and was taken aback by surprise. I explained that from now on, she had full use of me—use and abuse as she pleased. I assured her that with this setup, I would behave well. If she wasn't in the mood for sex, she could rest easy knowing I was surrendering myself to her. No more pawing at her while trying to sleep in, no more pressure when she doesn't want intimacy. I sold it as best I could. Although surprised and confused, she agreed to try it out. What was there to lose? Perhaps I gave too much information all at once, but over the following days, I emailed her links to articles highlighting the benefits of **chastity**. I sent both male and female perspectives. To play effectively, I felt she needed knowledge; education helps everyone involved. This wasn't something I wanted to abandon—I was hooked and locked. There was more work ahead for me.

She saw the cage on my dick and was taken back in surprise. I went on to point out that from now on, my dick was hers to use and abuse as she pleased. I assured her that with this cage, i would be on my best behaviour, and if she was not in the mood, she would be at peace as I was surrendering my dick to her.No more pawing at her while she is trying to sleep in, no more pressure to have sex when she is not in the mood. I sold it as best I could, and although she was surprised, shocked, and confused- she was willing to try it out. What's there to lose? It is possible I gave her too much info at once, but in the days that followed, I found myself emailing her with links to articles and benefits of **chastity**. I sent her both perspectives from male and female. For her to play, I felt she needed to know as much as possible, and to be well educated in the matter. I had to. This was not something I wanted to give up on . I was hooked. I was locked. I had more work to do....

Whenever possible, I read Mistress Ivey's blog. Her style felt comfortable to me, and I thought my wife could relate to her in certain ways. I emailed many of her posts to my KH (Key Holder) and ended up purchasing several of her books. These proved beneficial for both of us in understanding expectations. I have seen here that some of you are advised simply to lock up and hand over the key immediately. Personally, I don't favor this approach. For me, restraint is achieved via a body belt with cuffs attached to the rear, making it impossible for me to touch myself. This is my method: she puts on the cage and clicks the **lock**. There is nothing I can do about it but lie there. I get such a rush walking into the bedroom and seeing a towel spread out on the bed along with my **cuff**s. It signals that teasing time has arrived. The cuffs come off only when I am securely back in my cage. Of course, there are exceptions. If she decides to let me screw her for a bit (without cumming!), or other scenarios arise! When the **key** is with her and she locks me up, I feel wonderfully helpless. It’s an exhilarating rush!

I drafted a contract after reviewing several online examples. I borrowed elements from many and created my own with specific variations. It is VERY detailed, clearly identifying the consequences. In our case, my wife used to feel sexually burdened by me. We enjoyed sex, but she did it less often than I desired. Often, she felt pressured to relieve me however she chose, usually via a handjob. I made it clear that while locked up, I would strive to be more obedient and less demanding sexually. This meant no begging for release, no pawing at her body on weekends when the goal is sleeping in. I wanted to surrender control. And I did.... As stated in the contract: - I am forced to sit while urinating. - The **slave** may remove the device only during doctor visits under KH supervision (or for tactical training at work). If my wife cannot be present, I must send a time-stamped photo from the doctor's parking lot before removal and another immediately after re-application. - The KH can request a photo of my locked cage at any time; it must show the timestamp and visible lock number. - The KH may also ask for my GPS location via map app. I must explain where I am, who I'm with, what activity is occurring, and how long it will last. - I always request permission before joining events "with the guys," subject to her approval. - My wife can request that I wear a **tape**-secured diaper at any time. ESPECIALLY in scenarios where I might be at a bar with attractive women after work. This prevents them from sitting on me or getting too close. The wife may sign the diaper tapes so she knows if they are removed; it must be tight enough to prevent pulling down (the cage remains intact regardless). Consequences for removal or tampering include 3 ADDITIONAL WEEKS of **orgasm** denial. She knew my every move: where I was via GPS, that I was locked, and any absence from her was solely because she permitted it.

I have to admit that after experiencing several extended periods of being locked away, I’ve noticed some shifts from one instance to the next. Being a kid in chastity taught me much about my enduring fetishes and myself. Everyone has their own path, but for my Key Holder (KH) and me, we held distinct views on what it means to be locked up—and those perspectives persist today. I’m of average build and initially used the Curve cage. While I could fill it out sometimes, there was usually plenty of extra room. After doing more research, once I had my release, I headed to the shop for a 6000s model. It’s significantly smaller! Getting into it is tricky; I bulge out all over. Even though it can be uncomfortable at moments, I enjoy that persistent sensation of its presence. For me, a cage should feel small and tight, constantly reminding me of my limited control... My first stint lasted 32 days, if memory serves. Seeing the **cuff**s resting on the bed triggered such an exciting rush; it meant a teasing session was imminent. WOW! I recall that peculiar urge to cum intensely. Yet simultaneously, you don’t want to release and reset your count. It’s like being addicted—you keep pushing for that ultimate orgasm! My sole grievance? I craved more tease sessions. The contract forbade me from asking for extras or risking punishment, but I desperately wanted her touch—either having intercourse with her or feeling her slick hands stroke me to the edge. When she finally allowed it, cumming was truly wonderful! But part of my mind resisted... Afterward, she left me unlocked. Days turned into weeks passed while I hinted at readiness for re-locking, but nothing happened. Why? I pleased her in every way: kept the house spotless and gave daily massages. I felt fully dedicated to serving her, yet she seemed indifferent? This puzzled me deeply because I thought our first time had gone so well. She even mentioned how happy she was with my changes. So why not lock me up again? We eventually needed to talk....

I’ve always felt that I communicate better when my body is being stimulated. If she’s stroking me, I tend to open up pretty easily. After my initial lock-up concluded with a happy ending just over a month later, I found myself without the cage but quite unhappy about it. While we were having sex, I kept dropping hints: if she wanted me locked again, I was ready and willing to have my **orgasm** denied, yet she simply wouldn’t do it, often replying with "I know". Eventually, maybe a month or so down the line, she did decide. We had tasks at hand; we made strides in some areas while retreating slightly in others. Looking back now, perhaps I pushed too hard and too quickly, especially since her sex drive doesn’t quite match mine. Once rules were established, my **punishment** took the form of either paddle spankings or extra time added to my count. Strangely enough, I found myself craving both outcomes even as I dreaded being spanked; I desperately wanted to cum but also feared it. I’d act bratty specifically to earn a spanking and more days in **lock**. Perhaps I was afraid that if she let me out now, she might hesitate to re-lock me later? I did enjoy the sensation of her bending me over her lap and striking me with the paddle. (That good feeling fades quickly though, lol). I remember one specific night where she seemed unimpressed. Every few weeks, she allowed me to sleep outside my cage. At my request, she would put a diaper on me for bed. I told her that wearing it gave me another sense of losing control; meanwhile, it prevented me from touching myself and ensured my penis had zero contact with hers while we slept. The next morning when she woke up, my "break" was over and I locked back up again. This routine worked well until the night I wet the bed—quite a lot, actually. The diaper must have shifted, leaving me soaked! She wasn’t pleased, and I felt like I was giving her headaches. That incident turned out to be just one of many such occurrences that I discovered later on...