A Fresh Perspective on Denial and Arousal

I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through what I’ve been experiencing lately and whether it goes away eventually. My KH wife switched me to permanent orgasm denial back in early September, and aside from one unlocked T&D session at the end of that month, I’ve stayed locked. Before then, my history includes only a few ruined orgasms (no full ones) over three years, with the last one happening just over nine months ago. So technically, I’ve been under permanent denial for more than nine months; I just didn’t realize it until September arrived. I am naturally quite horny—honestly, crazy horny—but lately I feel like I’m in a place I’ve never really been before. It seems that whenever other women are around me or when I see one walking down the street, or even on television, my cock starts to ache terribly. I have always been capable of arousal from women, but it has never gripped me quite like this. Recently at work, a real estate agent colleague of mine was there along with two very attractive clients. Barely a minute after they entered the room, my cock began to throb and hurt intensely as hardening against its limits inside the cage. The sensation only grew worse until it started twitching wildly. I felt wetness in my underwear and thought for sure I would cum right then sitting at the table with them, though their view of any bulge was limited. Still, I couldn’t sit still or focus on anything except my cock. I excused myself to let things settle down. When I returned a few minutes later, the feeling kicked back up again before I even sat down fully. I held out without orgasming and got through the meeting, but it was pure agony. This happens regularly now in various settings, whether mixed company or not. It doesn’t matter if there’s one woman or many, where we are, or what is going on; if a woman is present, my cock goes completely wild—I mean absolutely no control. I haven’t orgasmed yet, but the sensation down there is mind-blowing. The same thing happens with my wife too, and it applies just as well when I see women on TV, in malls, or out walking. Just thinking about a woman gets me going. Lately, I find myself dodging situations that might trigger arousal. I’ve shared all of this with my wife, and she loves it. She is actually thriving on the situation. She keeps reminding me how grateful I should be for being so aroused constantly. She knows she has me exactly where she wants me now; it takes very little effort from her to keep me there. Since I interact with women almost daily, my KH wife enjoys seeing them get a reaction out of me. For example, on mornings when I have meetings, she will lightly rub her fingernails across my balls before I dress and tell me how exciting the day ahead is for me—I start dripping like a faucet by then. She also calls during the day to say she wants my cock to feel even better with the clients today. Lately, she has been inviting her girlfriends over more often just to watch me squirm. I have never felt this way before. It feels amazing—it really does—but it is agonizing too. The throbbing, aching, twitching, and burning are so intense and uncontrollable that they consume all my attention, making concentration difficult. My balls appear swollen constantly as if I were excited, and they are extremely sensitive to touch. Most of my day (and evening) feels like this now. I tell my wife repeatedly that I am going to cum one of these times. She just laughs and says I’m so conditioned that I won’t dare without her permission. She has me right where she wants me and isn’t letting up anytime soon.

I've never stayed locked for that long without an orgasm, but I have experienced similar sensations to a lesser degree. It's hard to say if it passes.

I also haven't gone that long without having either my full or ruined orgasm. I feel for you though. It must be a major distraction when you really need to get work done.

Interestingly, I've recently been thinking that I'm rarely attracted to other women. For me, the effect of long-term denial has been that I've become very focused on Mrs. Edge, and when I meet other women, unless they are particularly striking in some way, I'm rarely ever thinking about how much I'd like to have sex with them. Not that I don't get aroused, it's more that I can't picture myself with them.

I really have no desire to be locked up for such a long period. Maybe long weekends, but that's about it. I have been locked for over a week on several occasions (lol, it's not up to me!). Generally speaking, the women at my work are not that attractive, but being super horny and caged did make me swell up in my cage when I saw the one or two women that I actually find appealing. Kinda nice that they didn't see me tenting up.

It has never been this bad (or good?). Sure wish someone else out there has gone through what I am going through right now. It's almost indescribable. Just writing here, the ache and burn is so intense. It feels so F'in good that I don't want it to go away but I do at the same time. I keep twitching and my whole body is on edge. It seems ever since I heard the word permanent from my wife's lips, everything has been magnifying. I am hoping that this will plateau or taper off eventually. I have always been super focused on my wife and going long stretches of time with only some type of orgasm has been wonderful. My wife just seems to know how to keep me aroused constantly while keeping things fun. But lately, my mind has wandered into pretty kinky territory. I can't believe how dirty these thoughts are getting. When around other women or seeing them/thinking of them, my mind quickly drifts to thoughts like "All these women have nice warm wet slippery pussies" and in my head I can almost see and feel how good a warm pussy would feel on my cock. It's not necessarily about being attracted to them or wanting them as much as just realizing that all women possess what my cock desperately craves, and in some weird way they are there to tease me. It feels almost like punishment. I think my mind is getting twisted. My wife isn't jealous and finds it funny that I get so turned on by other women generally. The hornier I am, the more she likes me, and lately she really likes me a lot. One night she put on some porn and I held up (sort of) until the guy started thrusting in and out at her. I couldn't lay still anymore and my wife laughed at me. I begged her to turn it off and she finally did. She told me that I just have to learn to control myself around women. Easier said than done, though. I think I got about an hour of sleep that night. When she mentioned things were permanent, she also noted that someday—not anytime soon, maybe—she might let me ravish her as much as I want, but only when she thinks I am ripe enough.

Grubber, I'm not entirely convinced. Generally speaking (and you might be the exception), a lack of direct stimulation leads to a much lower libido level. Tom's experience is closer to mine—and others I've chatted with—than yours. Less stimulation means less interest in sex. I suspect it's hormonal. Like Tom, my interest in other women has dropped significantly. When I see a cute woman with a nice butt now, I note it and smile. In the past, that vision would trigger a fantasy either then or later. Now, it just doesn't happen. I've noticed that when unlocked, I get aroused much faster if Mrs. Lion plays with me. I love that change. But overall, the longer without stimulation, the less sexual interest I feel.

Tame Lion, I wish I could be like you and other guys like you. Seriously. I marvel at how some men in porn videos need to get stroked and sucked silly before they get hard and ready to go. I am the opposite. I have always been easily aroused without physical stimulation to my penis; just a hint of something sexual is enough, though if there is direct stimulation, I could blow my load very quickly. I've had to work at holding back throughout my life during sex. I was in and out of several relationships before meeting my wonderful wife, and I think this quick arousal tendency played a part. I lost interest in frequent sex well before we entered chastity because our sex life had tanked. Since starting the cage, it feels like I'm twenty-something again. Maybe I don't get as much physical stimulation as I'd like, but my wife does a great job with mental stimulation. I never know what to expect at home. If you read any of my earlier posts here, you'll understand what I mean: walking in the door and seeing her in sexy lingerie; being exposed to our next-door neighbor; all those evening edging sessions; making me think she is interested in other women now; binding my hands while slipping down on top of my cock just staying there like that while kissing me and repeating how much she loves me. Her edging sessions have helped me last considerably longer too. I just don't get to orgasm. You certainly can lose interest, but with this kind of treatment, well, I definitely do not. There was a time recently when things didn't feel stimulating enough and I posted here for advice. The good people offered plenty of helpful suggestions. That's probably when my wife sensed it happening and got things moving again after our neighbor saw me in full birthday suit wearing the cage as she had planned. Anyway, this is something different now. It isn't necessarily that I desire these specific women; rather, it seems to be what they represent. The only thing making sense to me right now is that her decision for permanent chastity is truly sinking in. We all know "permanent" doesn't mean forever, but knowing my wife, this could last a very long time and it's messing with my head. I am sure—actually hoping—that this is just a phase.

I'm sorry for doubting you. Actually, I've heard of guys who have similar experiences. One guy wearing a truly escape-proof chastity belt (Access Denied) was able to orgasm by playing with his nipples. Without your complete agreement, it is actually possible to be caged permanently and still have regular orgasms. How you do it varies greatly from person to person, but simply being in the room with an attractive woman could eventually trigger a no-touch orgasm. Admittedly this is rare, though not unknown. Most of us as we age can't get hard without direct stimulation. I would love to experience some no-touch erections while caged; it sounds like big fun.

My situation is somewhat different, but in many ways the same. I find that being locked up makes me hyper-aware of losing the ability to touch myself; consequently, I think about it constantly, which leads to excitement with even the slightest provocation. I believe my uncontrollable erections result from fantasizing: when I see a pretty woman, I imagine exposing myself (thinking "you don't have to worry because I'm locked") and then pleasuring her with tongue, fingers, etc. I do find myself fantasizing about other women I encounter, which frequently starts an erection that naturally cannot fully resolve. I've been locked for 14 months plus or minus a week or two. Daily releases occur under my wife's watchful eye while showering; immediately after, she places me back into the cage. Typically, I am milked twice a month though this doesn't always happen consistently. I have not had a full orgasm during that entire period. She has ruined mine several times but considers it too much effort and avoids making mistakes by giving me a full release. Thus, the regular milkings handle their purpose. For me, nights are the worst time being locked up. Nocturnal erections and morning wood cause me agony. Some say they shouldn't bother me so much, but for me, they do. I've learned to get through it mostly with deep breathing. Well that's about all ... good luck

My maximum time without an orgasm is only one month, but that starts from a baseline of orgasming nearly every day (for reference I am middle aged at 50 years old). As I go longer without release I find two things happening: 1) I view virtually every semi-attractive to attractive female as highly fuckable. 2) I get aroused more easily and can swell in my cage from stimuli that previously would have barely registered sexually for me. I can definitely fill my cage with no touching at all, nor any verbal teasing. My wife gets me filled almost instantly just via words alone. However so far I cannot orgasm while wearing the cage even though I get very aroused; trying to play with either my cock or nipples hasn't been enough yet. But when in this state PIV can usually push me over the line within a minute (which is way too fast for the wife, so I virtually always service her thoroughly before allowing PIV).

My maximum time without an orgasm is only one month, but that starts from a baseline of orgasming nearly every day (for reference I am middle aged at 50 years old). As I go longer without release I find two things happening: 1) I view virtually every semi-attractive to attractive female as highly fuckable. 2) I get aroused more easily and can swell in my cage from stimuli that previously would have barely registered sexually for me. I can definitely fill my cage with no touching at all, nor any verbal teasing. My wife gets me filled almost instantly just via words alone. However so far I cannot orgasm while wearing the cage even though I get very aroused; trying to play with either my cock or nipples hasn't been enough yet. But when in this state PIV can usually push me over the line within a minute (which is way too fast for the wife, so I virtually always service her thoroughly before allowing PIV). Prior to chastity (meaning an orgasm almost every day) I could last quite long during PIV; often until physical fatigue set in. Back then though we usually had my release first and then tried to get the wife her climax (I would play with her pussy while she used a vibrator on her clit). Now it is very rare for me to achieve an orgasm if the wife did not already have one (though I think it has happened once since we began playing with longer chastity durations—long being relative; many people consider a month nothing).

I've never gone beyond three weeks of denial but have cum in my device at least once without direct stimulation. After a few days or perhaps a week, I can feel intense arousal just looking at random women—perhaps one on TV or spotted at the store etc. I'll notice myself stiffening inside and feeling increasingly aroused; rarely I even feel like ejaculating within the cage itself. The time I distinctly remember cumming in the cage involved browsing some porn without touching anything—I believe it was around two weeks into denial.

I think that phase is over. At least for now. Yes, I am still aroused by women but that intense feeling of nearly cumming in front of them has subsided. Pretty sure it was my new clients who caused the shift and brought me back to reality. She's a very attractive woman—I'd guess she's in her forties. Before closing the sale, she was an absolute sweetheart whom I looked forward to working with. Since signing on the 20th though, she has turned into a major nightmare. She even called my cell phone on Christmas which I didn't answer. Honestly I don't want to hear her name anymore. In fact she must be at the top of my list for the nastiest person I've ever dealt with. Have you ever heard someone's name and felt your body tense up immediately? That was me today when meeting with her; arousal was the last thing on my mind, and now I have at least another month to endure her crap. It feels good that things are settling down finally. What a way for it to happen though. Cocktail hour starts early tonight over here.

Isn't it funny how things turn out sometimes. At first thinking of her was a source of both arousal and frustration. Now you can actually use thoughts of her to help pull you back into your cage state.:lol: