Newcomer Beginning the Journey Again

Hi everyone. It’s been ages since I last posted here. I believe my previous post was back when I was getting ready to tell my wife about how much I wanted to bring male chastity into our marriage.

To give you some context, I stumbled upon male chastity quite by accident a long time ago. I didn’t even know these devices existed, but when I saw them online, I knew immediately that I had to try it out. I purchased a CB6000s and absolutely loved it. For a while, I wore it intermittently, always keeping it hidden; no one else knew about it.

Eventually, the secrecy got tiresome, and paranoia set in—I worried my wife would accidentally discover it and that it might cause problems for both of us. So, I took it off and tried to move on from it. However, as it turned out, I couldn’t quite forget about it months later when I bought a Holy Trainer V2 short and fell in love with the feel again.

I wore it for some time before deciding that since this was something I simply couldn’t let go of, I needed to tell my wife. Everyone here knows there’s no perfect moment, so one evening I just blurted it out and showed her the device. She seemed a bit shocked but brushed it off as just another weird hobby of mine.

Because she wasn’t repulsed by it, I started pushing things forward—perhaps too quickly. As it happened, she got angry and disgusted with how fast it was all moving. So, I backed down for a moment, then sent her an email explaining everything while she was away on business trips. She did well; she read the whole letter, and we talked when she returned.

During our talk, she made it clear that she had no interest in being a keyholder because, to her mind, I was asking her to become some sort of dominatrix. Plus, finding the device itself somewhat unappealing confirmed my suspicion: this wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

On a positive note, after showing me the device, she actually took the initiative to give me a small pink drawstring bag for storing the parts. She even put everything into it herself to keep things discreet in the nightstand drawer without me noticing. This showed there was some care behind her actions; they weren’t just tossed aside.

After our discussion, the device went back into that little pink bag and stayed there. Naturally, after a few months passed, I started wearing it again at home. After doing this for a while, I realized once more that chastity wasn’t going to fade away. One evening, I mentioned that the item in the pink bag was something I really wanted to use regularly again… or words to that effect.

She responded with mild disinterest, saying something like “okay, sure.” I think part of her reaction had to do with me not asking her to hold the key; I assured her it wouldn’t require any effort from her. That probably helped ease things along.

Regardless, I’ve been wearing it to bed ever since, and she’s fine with that. I’ve tried not to push too hard. Before sleeping, I take the bag out of the nightstand, put on the device in the bathroom, then return the bag where she can see it—just to remind her that yes, I am locked up.

It seems we have grown closer in bed than we have in a long time, with more cuddling and holding each other as we fall asleep and when we wake up. In those first few nights, I was careful not to bump into her too much with the device, but lately, I’ve become less concerned about that. I’ve even put myself in situations where she might feel it—like this morning while lying there; she shifted position and rubbed against or hit the device with a part of her body. Since she was awake then, I have to believe she felt it.

She has remained very loving as always, which gives me hope for the future. I’m going to see where this leads but will keep my “baby steps” philosophy and take things slowly.

One thing on my mind: she is traveling for work starting February 6th for a few days. Because of that trip, I am considering giving her one of the keys to carry with her so we can test how she reacts. We won’t rush it; we’ll see what happens when the time comes.

I will update this thread as things progress. Thanks for reading.

If I may offer a suggestion, since my wife went from reluctant to fully embracing my chastity in just a few months last year: it seems your focus is currently on the device itself rather than on the broader concept of **chastity** and the accompanying cessation of masturbation, teasing, and denial. The device should merely be a tool to reach that end goal. You sound as though you haven't yet established the specific goals that both you and your wife can attain through it. I wrote my wife an email explaining that I was masturbating out of control, which caused issues with performing when she wanted spontaneous sex right after I’d already ejaculated a few times. Many women underestimate how frequently men masturbate; my wife was shocked to learn this. She isn’t against masturbation because she does it herself (usually if we haven't had sex for two weeks or more), but back then, I was doing it five times a day, most days. So, controlling our **orgasm** frequency via masturbation control became the first goal we cooperated on achieving together. We view **chastity** as a cooperative effort rather than something solely enforced by the Keyholder. This also means less work for her. We started with an honor system, but I told my wife that temptations could get too strong at times and showed her the CB6000s online. I explained it would create a barrier between me and my penis; while not 100% foolproof, it provided enough of a deterrent to give myself time to think things over. She encouraged me to order one. When it arrived, I put on the **lock** and showed her. I also handed her the **key**. I sent her some URLs for information, but there was simply too much data online. So I filtered out the main points and emailed them to her instead, which worked much better. Eventually, I bought her a few ebooks that she read (and now I’m paying the price!:)). Thus began the education phase after purchasing the device. Over the next few months, I explained how being locked up made me feel hornier yet still enjoyable—like having her hand encasing my penis constantly. I kept letting her know how good it felt to be in **chastity**. Then, I asked her just to edge me during our next couple of sexual encounters. My obvious display of pleasure while she edged me made her laugh with joy. She even said it made her feel powerful and in charge of our sex life for the first time. Quickly, she fell in love teasing and denying me, giving us a second reason to keep me locked up. Along this path, you must deal with your wife feeling guilty about denying you. In my experience, many women want their men to ejaculate because it’s visible proof that they are sexy enough to make it happen—it offers validation. This is another educational moment. I told my wife that I often felt depressed after an **orgasm**, and the edging process when denied for a few weeks actually felt much better than those quick 5-10 seconds of pleasure. I also addressed her concern about my balls turning blue and exploding:) Some women still believe in the old "blue ball" myths that men used back in our dating days to get them to let us cum.:) With guilt and physical concerns addressed, I began showing her other benefits specifically for her benefit. I volunteered to take over some household chores, offered foot and body massages, and generally made her feel the way she did when we were first dating. She started dressing more provocatively because I always showed how excited it made me. I’ll admit there was a bit of acting on my part initially; I wanted her to see how orgasm denial affected me physically. I didn’t lie—I just increased my show of excitement above my usual low-key demeanor. Throughout this time, we communicated mostly via email with some face-to-face conversations. Letting her know how much I appreciated her teasing and holding back made a difference. I drew attention to the way I behaved for days after an **orgasm** and asked if she wouldn’t prefer avoiding that by cooperating fully together. We worked as a team to ensure I didn't have another release. I never try to cheat. Whether locked or not, whether we were getting along great or in the middle of an argument, I remained chaste. As time passed, we established a routine. I would shower and shave immediately before sex even if I’d done so just an hour prior—it felt like preparing for a date with a new girlfriend, never knowing if luck was on my side that night. My heart actually beat faster; excitement grew. One thing you should do from the start is thank your wife every time she denies you and let her know clearly: yes means no when it comes to asking to cum. I told my wife that begging for release was part of the fun/excitement. Another step I took was establishing a **safe word**. If I didn’t use it, she could be sure I wasn't in distress and approved what she was doing. Using my **safe word** meant we stepped out of our game to discuss any problems either of us had. In the beginning, I only used it a few times to indicate that I needed an **orgasm** due to panic attacks, high stress levels, or because sex was distracting me from work and other life areas. Over several more months, I adjusted. We experimented until we found how long my denial should be for our mutual comfort. No longer did I wake up panicking as if I’d never have an **orgasm** again; both of us got used to it. Then we wondered how far we could go. When we reached six weeks with no distress on my part and me still thanking her, we decided to adopt it as our lifestyle. During this time, my wife asked for full control. There was some "topping from the bottom" during her education phase. We played games similar to those used by others to determine the length of **chastity** so she wouldn't feel guilty about it initially. But eventually, she disliked losing control through dice rolls and chance, so we stopped all randomization games and left decisions entirely in her hands. I put myself in her hands knowing she knew me well enough to tell if I was suffering mental or physical distress from extended **chastity**. Plus, the **safe word** remained available for discussion whenever needed. A few other issues arose that we handled as they appeared—like the chore of constantly checking whether I was locked 24/7. She made a rule: being locked is the norm; only she can unlock me. As mentioned earlier, since we view this cooperatively, if she tells me to stay locked all the time, then so be it. No more constant checks from her side. From my end, I explained that I needed some sort of daily acknowledgment so I didn't feel forgotten while locked away. It doesn’t have to take much time—just asking how things are going with "her penis" once a day or running her hand over the cage suffices. She became more aware that I was living **chastity** 24/7 even when she wasn't directly involved during sex times. At the end of twelve months, I felt comfortable with six weeks in **chastity**, and believed I could go longer provided it gave my wife pleasure. Since it did give her joy, we committed to this as a lifestyle (though that word doesn’t fully capture it). One more piece of advice: don't scare your wife by talking about dominating you outside of playtime too much. Too many men equate **chastity** with D/s, **BDSM**, and even cuckolding. Throw all those concepts at a sweet, loving wife and she may recoil in horror—as mine did initially. You don’t change someone’s nature overnight. A naturally submissive-type wife isn't going to transform into a domineering dominatrix instantly. She might never become one fully, yet it can still work beautifully as ours does. My wife lets me lead our marriage mostly as usual; we’ve always considered each other's needs before making major decisions. Heck, even down to what TV shows we watch together, we try to please one another. We love each other deeply. I am alpha enough not to play at being **submissive** constantly, and she is beta enough not wanting real domination over me every day. Occasionally, she asks for coffee or a foot massage when tired from work—but certainly not daily nor always when exhausted herself. She made it clear she doesn’t want a permanently **submissive** husband; playing along during sex was fine, but less so outside the bedroom. Well, there you have my full guidebook! I hope this helps. Having recently gone from zero to looking at nearly a year of denial, sharing my journey offers tips and tricks. It took us about a year for both of us to get comfortable with **chastity**. Many people want instant results because they assume all women jump eagerly at the chance not having their men cum constantly. Another thought: don’t hand your wife that old excuse saying "it’s all for you" or claiming it turns me into a better husband overnight. You should naturally be a good partner without her wielding your **orgasm** as a weapon. My releases aren't tied strictly to my behavior; they are not rewards earned through perfect conduct, although bad timing right before she plans to let me cum can make her defer the release. We don’t use **chastity** merely as currency. It is a joint journey exploring how long-term **chastity** affects our sex life and marriage overall. I have an added advantage over most here: my wife is bisexual and isn't particularly focused on large penises. She loves having sex with me but prefers not to be penetrated herself. Our dynamic has often resembled a Poly Triad involving her best girlfriend. Her idea of great sex involves FFM threesomes. Mostly, our marriage relied on oral and manual stimulation, meaning my penis wasn't strictly necessary for penetration pleasure. Yet she loves me immensely and feels sexy making me cum. Now she’s learned she can still feel incredibly attractive simply by keeping me hard constantly without requiring an **orgasm**. I haven’t previewed this post yet because I fear it might be too lengthy to hold the attention of forum users accustomed to bite-sized updates. Perhaps it could become a book eventually! Anyway, hoping some parts help others navigate where our wives sometimes look at us like we're crazy. Yikes, that was very long, but posting anyway in hopes it proves useful.

Thanks. I think...... Why do I feel like I was just scolded for not doing things right? Anyway, I won't elaborate further now because I don’t want to start an argument, but all I can say is that it’s not entirely about the devices themselves. I also wrote a lovely letter to my wife detailing all my feelings, yet it still wasn’t received as warmly as I hoped. Right now, I’m simply trying to get her used to me wearing the device and plan to build from there. I never even considered this any kind of D/s or dominatrix dynamic, so not sure where that idea came from (ghost member?). And as incredible as it seems given your advice: I am NOT a chronic masturbator... what’s wrong with me?:) Suppose everyone is different and does **chastity** for their own reasons. We should all remember that. I also suppose I should expect this type of helpful guidance, even though mostly just wanted a place to document my personal journey. Thanks for your help and ideas! I'll write a follow-up post later to hopefully better explain where I'm at mentally with **chastity**. At some point... little gun shy right now.

> member_56247e707f wrote: > Why do I feel like I was just scolded for not doing things right? I completely understand your reaction but don't let it stop you sharing your experiences here. We've all had different roads to get where we are, and I think you're taking a good approach toward your KH. She needs to see what's in it FOR HER, rather than focusing only on what’s in it for YOU. Good luck and take your time.

Thank you. I really do appreciate that sentiment. I'm trying to handle this the best way possible for our specific situation. Right now, my main goal is getting her comfortable with me being in **chastity**, and showing her how it makes me want to do special things for her—more cuddling, etc. The last time I tried pursuing this path, I was way too "in her face" (figuratively speaking) and much too horny; eventually, that turned her off from the whole thing. This time is different. I won't be discouraged from posting here either—I look forward to sharing more updates soon.

> member_56a3d51043 wrote:Thank you. I really do appreciate that. I'm trying to handle this in the best way for our specific situation. That's exactly how it should be since there isn't a single right or wrong method here. Also, don't feel discouraged if your posts on The Journey Thread get few replies. If you check the rules, remember this is primarily a place to document your journey rather than seek out extensive feedback. > *The threads in this forum are meant for journaling (blogging, a diary, etc.). While other members may respond in the thread, please keep comments to a minimum. This will keep the important conversations in the discussion forums.*

Thanks. I'm looking forward to writing my journal entries. For what it's worth, last night involved some cuddling but nothing more than that, which I viewed as a positive sign. She has been quite affectionate and thoughtful lately.....a good indicator? I believe so......:)

Making progress.... Last night after watching the big game, my wife and I went to bed. I had been wearing my device for most of the weekend, only taking it off to shower and clean it. Once we got into bed, it was clear that my wife was feeling frisky—a thing that doesn't happen every day, especially when she's tired. We started cuddling and enjoying each other’s company, which lasted a very long time as both of us grew more aroused. We really worked ourselves up, continuing for quite a while before eventually drifting off to sleep. In the early morning hours, we picked up where we left off and repeated those same activities. Throughout all this, one thought kept looping through my mind: "Does she realize I'm wearing a chastity device?" I was fairly certain she did because she had bumped into it before while lying in bed, but she hadn't actually reached out to touch it or made a conscious effort to feel it before.......it always seemed like an "accident". So at that moment, I decided to press on, and it felt like the right time for me to perform oral sex for her. As I shifted around to get into position, her foot came up under my sac and began stroking and rubbing against it. This led to her foot moving up to my device and rubbing that as well. At this point, I knew she was fully aware of the device and might actually start embracing me wearing it. She caressed it with her foot for quite a while; it felt very hot. After I finished going down on her and she seemed satisfied, we cuddled some more. At that point, I double-checked to ensure she had indeed cummed since she was being quiet, likely because the kids were in the next room. She confirmed she had and asked me, "don't you want to cum?" I told her no; I just wanted to make sure she enjoyed herself. She replied with an "ok." I felt quite excited about everything. After all that activity, she really seemed happy and loving toward me. I am a very happy guy this morning. I hope we can continue on this path, so I'm optimistic but cautious....still taking it one day at a time. But I do think this might have been a good sign.

There hasn't been much to report the last couple of days, which suits me fine since that also means she's still okay with the whole situation. We've continued our daily routines and sleeping habits just as we always have, maintaining our normal nighttime cuddling except now I am locked up. I’ve noticed that when we snuggle up at night with me tucked tightly behind her against her backside, my holy trainer sits nicely against her butt with just enough contact to let her know it's there. She tends to move her butt against it and press back into it—although maybe some of that is wishful thinking on my part, but I don't think so. Regardless, she seems to have accepted me being locked up, realizing that I’m not looking for intercourse every time we start cuddling or fooling around a bit in bed, which was pretty much the pattern before. I think this brings her some relief and makes her feel that we can enjoy each other without her having to worry about whether she needs to reject my advances or take things further if she's not in the mood. As I mentioned in an earlier post, after I made her cum by going down on her, she seemed okay with the fact that I didn't want to cum when she asked me. I’ve told her that what matters most to me is ensuring she enjoys herself. In the past, it usually felt like *I* was the one who was horny and wanting sex, while she could go quite a long time without it—far longer than I could. Over the last few months, however, she seems more open to foreplay and then going wherever that leads. I know I’m going to need to cum pretty soon, either via PIV or maybe through HJ/BJ, at least enough to make her feel desirable (which of course she is) and turned on by me (which she definitely does), so she doesn't start thinking I don’t want to make love to her anymore. That’s not the goal here; I am certainly into abstinence. I feel like I could go longer, but right now it has been about 17 days since my last orgasm, which was a HJ from my wife, right after I made her climax with oral sex. It's also been a month since we did PIV. This morning, I cleaned the holy trainer up with soap and warm water as usual, then went into the bedroom where she was still sitting drinking coffee. While talking to her—and in full view of her—I put all the pieces back into the pink bag on my nightstand. She knew what I was doing even if she wasn't watching directly. I was almost waiting for her to say something like, "I don't know if I want to keep doing this or not"—that situation would have been a perfect segueway. Instead, she just continued with our conversation. The fact that she didn’t take that opportunity to speak really encouraged me. I love her so much, and she amazes me daily with how accepting she is of me and my different "interests." I truly hope we can keep moving forward. To be honest, I’ve noticed more closeness between us since we started doing this; we seem to tell each other that we love one another more often, and definitely cuddle and spoon (I think that's the right word—seems very 1950s) a lot more. The fact that I'm locked up and she can feel the device doesn't repel or disgust her like it did the first time. In fact, as mentioned in an earlier post, she even caressed it with the top of her foot while I was performing oral sex on her. What a turn-on that was; I certainly leaked quite a bit of pre-cum during that one, almost to the point where I thought I might have cummed slightly, but I didn't. She is supposed to travel for work next week from Tuesday evening through Friday evening, so I’ve been considering giving her a key and letting her take it with her. I’d leave the second key hidden or in a sealed envelope (or something similar) while she’s away. Still weighing that option. Right now, I occasionally stay locked up on my own for a couple of days, but it feels hard to believe it goes unnoticed when she's working and doing household chores where the kids might see us. Another factor is that my son still likes to wrestle in the living room or hop into my lap to watch TV, so I am usually quite aware of how my device is positioned. It would be hot though, giving her a key to take with her, but I don't want to push it since things are going well. Speaking of keys, I’ve considered leaving one on her nightstand for me to unlock whenever she wants the "real thing" while we're fooling around... instead of always sticking to oral sex for her. I don’t see this as making her a real "keyholder" because I would likely still lock myself up in the evening and unlock in the morning; it would just be a way for her to signal she wants me to take it off. Just an idea. I know this is a long post, but writing all this down in a diary format really helps get it off my chest. Thanks for reading. Stay tuned.

Just keep this one simple question in mind: "What is in it for her? Or what is the benefit to her?" Everyone focuses on what they want, not what their SO wants. As others have written, try a paradigm shift; for my SO, it was excessive masturbation and catching me in the act. She immediately took charge of my orgasms, and we haven't looked back since. By the way, that happened almost 20 years ago:-) Good Luck! FlyBoy Down & Locked...Check

Thanks for the advice. I really do try to think about what's in it for her; honestly, I do... It’s a little hard to put into words, but here goes.... In the past, when I would start caressing her and initiating foreplay, she tended to shut me down if she felt that I had some sort of expectation that this would end up in PIV sex....primarily when it wasn't something she was particularly into at the time, or if she were tired from the day, or whatever. She knew that usually my goal with those advances was PIV sex....for *me*. What I have found now is that she is much more open to this type of play knowing that my end goal isn't an issue anymore; I'm not trying to get to PIV sex. My focus is all about making her feel good and bringing her to orgasm if that's what she wants. I have limited experience fooling around while locked in chastity (read my prior submission), but this last time was a good example of what I mean. When we went to bed that evening, both of us were in an amorous mood; in fact, I would even say she was more so than I was, which is rare. She and I spent a long time just enjoying each other's bodies, and we both ended up very aroused. In the past, that would have led to me trying to have sex with her, but this time we both basked in our horniness and eventually drifted off to sleep. In the morning, we picked up where we left off, and eventually she had a nice oral orgasm...nothing for me even though she offered. I guess what I'm trying to show is that our sexual behavior is different now; my wife and I can just enjoy each other without any pressure or expectations like before, and she really seems more relaxed and happy about that. We also seem more affectionate and loving in our everyday life than we were before. I haven't exactly been masturbating excessively for a very long time, but I would still rub one out every once in a while before I got deeply involved in chastity. I haven't done it in quite a while now. I was starting to have some performance issues in the bedroom and thought that maybe that wasn't helping, so I quit doing that. My erections weren't always available when needed, and even when they appeared, they weren't 100% firm either. I've noticed that since being locked up and unable to touch my penis whenever I want, I do get turned on more quickly, and my erections are much firmer now. I am anxious for my wife to experience this since it's been an issue in the past; she deserves a nice firm erection when she wants one. Hopefully, this is something I can do for her to enhance her experience. I still do my share of chores as always but have also stepped that up somewhat, finding myself doing more little things to make her life easier and more enjoyable. I haven't been as irritable in the past either, being more relaxed about the chastity thing since we talked it over and put it into practice. I used to complain that we didn't have sex often enough; now that's a mute point. We both seem much happier with each other. Time will tell.

Still plugging along at this. Trying to find my way. I think it's finally sinking in (thanks to all who have been trying to get me to realize this) that it’s not about me AT ALL. It’s really all about her. While that may seem like an obvious statement, it’s actually a lot harder to adjust to that mindset than I anticipated. Up until now, I’ve been doing all those extra special things to try and make her life easier, more comfortable, and show her how much I care by being more affectionate. But, when I would get into bed with her, I’d also shower her with a lot of affection (which was fine) but tended to overdo it a little and start getting caught up in how it made *ME* feel. On more than a few occasions, I could tell she was getting annoyed as I became increasingly amorous in bed instead of simply cuddling and letting her sleep. See, my wife isn't the most affectionate person in the world; while that can be a bummer sometimes, it's just how she’s wired. She doesn’t like too much playing around in bed when all she wants to do is cuddle and go to sleep, yet I was doing all that playing because it made me feel good (in several places...:)) and I hoped for reciprocity directed at me. See...all about *me* and my wants and needs. Duh. By "forcing" the issue, I was actually running the risk of her not wanting to even try this new relationship twist—which is certainly her prerogative—but if it all crashed down around us, it would have been my doing. In being married to her for over 17 years, I know that sex falls pretty far down on her priority list and have learned to accept that. Because we can go for extended periods without any sexual outlet, chastity actually fits into that very well. Instead of getting mad about not having sex, then masturbating to make up for it, I simply wear this device and view my relationship (and my wife) in a whole new light. My plan going forward is to have no specific plan, no agenda; just relax and let everything work itself out naturally. I will continue doing everything I can to make my wife’s life more enjoyable and relaxing, all while showing her how much I love and care about her. She is a very special woman, and I’m a very lucky man, especially considering how open-minded she's been about chastity and how she has reluctantly accepted it (at least for now) and shown signs of embracing it. It’s all about her and what she wants and needs.

Had a great night. Lots of physical contact, which she really seemed to enjoy. There was also a lot of contact with the device from her part. I woke up once in the middle of the night with the biggest nocturnal erection I've ever had. My balls were pulled extremely tight. No pain, just pressure. I could actually wrap my fist around my penis completely.......behind my base ring! Lots of precum this morning from all the cuddling and contact.

Well, the weekend came and went and really other that what I talked about from Friday night in my previous entry, there really wasn't much to report. That isn't to say that it was a bad time by any means, it was more or less uneventful. But that got me thinking, even though there wasn't much going on in the bedroom department, my wife and I still enjoyed being with each other and I still did what I could to make her weekend more relaxing on her part and more productive for me in what I could do for her. Hopefully that made sense. As what usually happens on Saturdays, she had some errands she wanted to run and some things to take care of that she had been putting off for a while. So she was gone the majority of Saturday, which enabled me to clean the house, do all the laundry, fix some things around the house, and all the other things that I love doing for her. It really gives me great satisfaction, and is also a turn-on to know that I'm working to get all the chores done while she's out at the salon getting her hair and eyebrows done, and doing things that she enjoys. I was in the device most of the weekend, from Friday night until late Sunday morning, and althought there was the usual body contact in bed, we were both pretty exhausted and didn't do much other than sleep. It was during this weekend that I soon realized that in some ways I am not trying to hide my wearing of the holy trainer from her, but in other words I am. Like I said, I wore it most of the weekend so when I took a shower on Saturday morning I left it on. This is something that I never do since I generally put the cage on in the evening and then take it off in the morning. When I got out of the shower with the cage in full view, I was half-hoping that she would walk into the bathroom and see everything. It was actually pretty exciting to think about, but alas she didn't make an appearance, so I got dressed. Normally (like I've said before) I go to the bathroom with my bag and put the cage on in there, out of sight from her. I suppose that's out of respect for her since she's not completely on board with the whole thing. I wonder if I should start putting it on in the bedroom when she's there. Hmmmm. But as we all know, putting one on isn't always the most graceful thing in the world to witness. The fact that she's not completely on board with this shouldn't be all that unexpected. It's a pretty big change from the vanilla bedroom antics we've enjoyed in the past. I found a blog entry from "the key is on my nipple ring" which is a fun blog to read but appears to have ended in 2012. It's written from a womans perspective and she describes the stages of a woman dealing with her husbands chastity as such: > The first idea I was had to do with the various stages of acceptance a person goes through to accept chastity—or any fetish or kink that his/her partner may present. The scenario that I read most commonly usually has the man presenting an idea to his wife/girlfriend. Rarely do I see that these women are immediately accepting—in fact they may be totally opposed to the notion. The stages seem to be: > •Total confusion > •Shocked > •Weirded out (may be as extreme as total revulsion) > If the woman is moving to be GGG (good, giving, game) then > •Laissez-faire > •Cautiously curious > •Grudging acceptance > •Enthusiastic participant > From what I have read, some women may stay in the first three stages in an endless loop. Their attitude seems to be, “I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t understand why you want to do that, it’s just weird.” The man, in response, becomes defensive, dejected, perhaps angry or depressed. He may move into “stealth mode” meaning he will participate in the activity, unbeknownst to his wife. Clearly none of this is psychologically healthy for either person. > If the wife decides she is willing to entertain the idea, she moves to the next series of steps. “Laissez-faire” is characterized by an “Okay, if you want to, but don’t ask me to be involved” attitude. Her husband, happy now that he is able to do what was previously forbidden let’s her know that he is grateful; this in turn triggers a cautious curiosity and tentative willingness to learn more. “Grudging acceptance” in chastity might be characterized by, “I’ll take the key but don’t expect much else” or, “I’m willing to play along with this according to some specific ground rules.” The final stage, wherein issues are resolved, is when the wife becomes an enthusiastic participant. This is what I was touching on in this post where I explored the concept of being equally invested. This description seems to be us to a "t". I believe my wife has adopted the “Laissez-faire” attitude stated above, which is very good news for us. I will continue to show her and tell her how grateful I am that she is giving me (us) this opportunity. If you knew my wife,this is a very big deal. She very well could have squashed this right off the bat (like she did the first time). So I'm hoping this will lead to the Cautiously Curious stage next. We'll find out. Patience, patience. By the way, I did ask her this morning if everything was ok since she was so "tired" all weekend, and she said everything was fine, and gave me a kiss. Maybe she was just tired, go figure. Also, one last thing. I ordered a new clear 36mm base ring for my HT2 to replace the black 40mm ring I'm currently using. Should go better with the clear tube, and hold the tube closer to my body. Hopefully it's not too tight, but my body seems to have adjusted to the 40mm one. I see it was delivered by USPS this afternoon, so we'll see what happens if my wife finds it before I do....

Well, I did it. After much internet surfing looking for the right way to present my feelings to my wife about continuing with male chastity, and from talking to alot of very helpful people on this site, I decided yesterday to send my wife an email and put things out in the open. If anyone has read my previous entries here you'll remember that the last time I did this things dodn't go so well, and I quit the whole thing for a while. I'm hoping this time goes much smoother. I think it might because she already knows about me wearing the device (for obvious reasons in bed) and so the shock of all that is over. What I really tried to convey in this email is that this is something I really want to continue, that it's my fetish and has nothing to do with me not wanting to have sex with her or anything of the sort. In fact, I explained, I still want that part of our relationship to remain the same, and to encourage her to hold on to a key so that she has control over when I get unlocked........that it is completely her choice of when and for how long. If she feels the need to have me unlocked for any reason whatsoever. Most important was that I wanted to drive home the point that it wasn't anything she she did or didn't do, and that I still want to have sex with her as often as possible. So I wrote the email and waited...and waited...finally I looked in her inbox (before everyone gets upset, this email address use to be the email that she and I would use for personal emails, rather than work, so I have the password and access to it), and saw that she has over 60 new emails, mostly coupons from stores and special offers, etc. Mine is in there, and is waiting to be read. I did contemplate deleting it out of fear that maybe I said too much (which I tend to do) and made it to 'direct', but considering our current situation I think it's appropriate so I decided to keep it in there. I do go win there every once in a while to see if it's been read yet. I can't hold my breath forever.....:)

Well, looks like this journey has hit another dead end, much like the first time. She read my email and sent me back a reply stating: > It is your business if want to have that on. If you want to put a key in my nightstand go ahead. That thing turns me off so I don't want to know when you have it on. Sorry but that is how I feel I think that pretty much sums it up, she has always told me that it turns her off, so if we can't get beyond that issue then obviously this wouldn't be consensual, and that's no good. I replied back telling her that I apppreciated her honesty and that since it's not consensual then it's not worth doing. Looks like it's not going to happen, I'm not going for a third try. Thanks to everyone who helped me out here, I appreciate everyones opinions and advice.

Hey Newbie, sorry to hear that it hasn't worked out for you. Who knows maybe she will come around to the idea sometime in the future. I had a rough go of it starting off with my wife as I went too far too soon. I think I finally convinced her how important it was to me. Now I'm in the process of proving to her that it can be something she can enjoy. Wish the best for you and your wife whatever roads you may travel.

Thanks for the encouragement. We talked about it again last night, and basically she is totally turned off by both the device and the whole idea, but, she doesn't care if I wear it. She just doesn't want to see it, touch it, or know about it. So I can still wear it, but now it will be more of a masturbation deterrent than a game we can both enjoy. It was kind of funny, she seemed very amorous last night and we ended up making love. Strange day. I'll keep you updated.

Hi Newbie; I have mentioned this many times before to others who are in your position; What is in it for her? When you know the answer to that question things will progress much more quickly. My SO was a very slow adopter until she caught me red handed masturbating. She was really pissed off. She immediately said get that Steel Walter Belt out of the closet and get in it. She locked it up and took possession of the key immediately. From that point on things improved dramatically in regard to our chastity practice. That was 10-15 years ago. Today, I'm locked up until the outside temps reach 70'F. It is currently -5F where we live. For our friends overseas, that is -20'C to +21C. Be careful what you wish for, it may come true! That is so true with our relationship. Sincerely, FlyBoy Down & Locked...Check

Hey, guess what, I'm back.:) So here's where I am in a nutshell. Slowly but surely wearing a chastity device crept back into my everyday life. I tried to give it up completely after I opened up to my wife about trying to start experimenting with chasatity in which she told me that it totally turned her off and she essentially wanted nothing to do with it. In her response she did tell me however that if I wanted to wear the device then that was my business, she just didn't want to know bout it. So I began wearing it (self locked of course) on and off and would maybe go for a day or two at a time. Well, the other night I decided to put it on and so I went to the bathroom with my bag containing two devices and decided which to wear that night. Unfortunately when I emptied the bag, I left one of the tubes on the bathroom counter, and then went to bed. My wife and I got up in the morning and started our day as usual. She went in to shower first and I went out to make coffee, etc... When I went to the bedroom while she was still in the shower, I found my black HT2 tube laying on my dresser. I didn't know what to think, so I put it away. Later on we were in the bathroom together and I mentioned finding the tube on the dresser. She told me she had found it on the bathroom counter and put it there. She wasn't real happy with me primarily because she (and rightfully so) was afraid one of the kids could have seen it laying there. I apologized and told her that it wouldn't happen again. How stupid I was for leaving it there. She was good with that, and things continued on as normal. Since then (this was earlier in the week) I've been carefull but have still be wearing it on and off. I've been thinking about what happened and I realized that she wasn't at all upset that I was obviously still wearing a device from time to time, and that I hadn't put everything away for good. It was out in the open now (quite literally) that I was indeed wearing a device. In the past I would do everything in secret as far as putting it on without her seeing (hence the bathroom incident) and have tried to hide it from her when possible when I was wearing it. I don't plan on making it overly obvious even now, but I don't think I will be as secretive now that she knows (again). As far as the real "chastity" part goes, I don't think we'll ever get to the stage where she locks me into it and holds the key. She still has no interest in that, but I feel that I can at least wear it in her presence and to bed without her getting totally turned off. Regardless of whether I am wearing a device or not, I still treat her with utmost respect and do things around the house to make her life easier. I think it's simply the fact right now that I enjoy wearing the device for the devices sake. I enjoy the feeling, the support, the weight, the straining at night time, all of it. I also like not being able to access my penis to masturbate. This may not have anything to do with the chastity situation the other morning, but she has seemed really happy and upbeat the last couple of days, especially toward me. Even today, she dressed for work in one of my favorite outfits that she can wear, and even made mention to that fact in a few"see what I'm wearing today?" type comments. Drove me crazy. I think for right now I'm going to continue wearing it when I can (work and home) and especially to bed. In bed I'm sure she will notice so I'm interested in how that plays out. I'm not sure if I should as her to be more understanding about me wearing a device, and allow me to put it on and wear it in front of her rather than have to go to the bathroom to do so, and that there's a chance she will see it on occasion and may bump into it from time to time. Time will tell.

Just a quick update. The weekend went fine, nothing too much to report. I wore the device Friday night, Saturday night thru Sunday evening, and then again when I went to bed on Sunday night taking it off on Monday morning. We weren't intimate at all this weekend, but did a fair amount of cuddling at night so I'm sure there was a chance that she could have felt it bump into her I suppose. She never mentioned anything about it. I'm being careful right now to not push things at all, but by the same token since she found my small tube laying in the bathroom (see previous post) and put it in on my dresser, that she is again aware that I am still into this and that I must still be wearing my devices. This hasn't upset her in any way, so I have made the decision that I going to try not to be so secretive about it. I have decided that when I take a shower with it on and then remove it in the shower for a thorough cleaning, that I'm not going to lock the bathroom door or anything like that and will simply go about my business. If she comes in and sees then she sees, but I'm neither going to make a big deal about it or try to be overly secretive. I did this over the weekend but she didn't come in either time. One thing I did do yesterday evening was that when I got out of the shower and dried off, I went into our bedroom where she was doing bills while sitting in bed, and had a conversation with her about whatever we were talking about, all the while taking teh device pieces out of my pockets and putting them in their bag in the bottom drawer of my nightstand. I'm sure she noticed what I was doing, and put two and two together to know that I must have been wearing it all day and then took it off to shower. I wanted everything to have time to dry out before putting it back on later that night to sleep in. I have noticed that my nocturnal erections have become more bearable, and even though they will still wake me up usually, they aren't something that is overly painfull...just uncomfortable. I'm going to continue along this path and see where I end up.

The chastity device situation is holding steady overall. I’ve been wearing it more consistently over the past few weeks than I have in quite some time, possibly since the beginning. There isn’t much else to report: I wear it every night, remove it for a morning shower, and usually put it back on afterward. I haven’t made an effort to hide when using the bathroom, but it doesn't really matter because she rarely walks in while I’m there anyway. It feels like maybe she is deliberately avoiding entering during that time; previously, this happened occasionally. Perhaps she knows whether I am wearing it or cleaning it and chooses not to interrupt. Who can say? On a brighter note, after wearing the HT all day yesterday, we went out with friends after work, then just the two of us headed home later. By the time we arrived late at night, I was definitely horny, but she had no interest in that and went straight to sleep. The next morning, she suggested maybe letting her sleep a bit longer if I handled the kids and got them on the bus, perhaps allowing for some fun afterward. Once the children left, I immediately retrieved the key and took off the device. I walked into the bedroom holding it visibly and put it away in the nightstand drawer. I told her, "I assumed you wanted me unlocked," to which she answered, "Yes." To be sure, I asked again, "Are you certain?" She confirmed once more with a "yes." Without going into too much detail, we had a good time, and she seemed genuinely happy despite my bringing up the device by showing it in my hand and asking about being unlocked. For some reason, I feel like she might be warming up to the concept.

For reasons unknown, after our fun on Friday, I kind of fell into a funk regarding the chastity device. I seem quite apathetic toward it overall. I am still wearing it, mostly at night, but I feel like I don’t particularly care either way. Initially, I thought this might be due to the refractory period many men experience after sex, but here we are on Tuesday, several days later, and nothing has changed. Currently, both of us have a lot going on in our work and home lives, so we seem especially tired and stressed. In addition to normal school events and sports for the kids, her relatives are visiting this weekend (staying at our house) for her father’s burial. He passed away in March, but they had to wait for the ground to thaw. My current plan is clearly to be supportive of my wife through everything she is going through and keep the device in the background until things return to something resembling normal. I still intend to wear it when possible, but will likely keep a lower profile.

Something interesting happened this morning. As usual for the past few nights, I wore my device to bed. When my wife and I got up, she headed straight to the shower before me. After her shower was done, I gathered my things (including my key) and went into the bathroom. She remained in there with the door open, standing in her robe and using a curling iron. I had decided that this morning would be the day I walked in while she was present, got undressed, and proceeded to wear my chastity device openly. So in I went and set my things down. As she chatted about work while curling her hair in the mirror, I took the key from my pocket and placed it on top of the shower doors so I could grab it once inside (as is typical). Our shower is actually a tub/shower combo with sliding glass doors; the top metal piece is wide enough to serve as a shelf. After placing the key there (not sure if she noticed), I took a deep breath and removed my clothes. She kept chatting, looking in the mirror, so I turned away from her, faced the shower, stepped inside, and closed the door. It might sound silly, but I wasn’t quite ready to face her with my jet black Holy Trainer V2 fully visible yet. Once in the shower, I retrieved the key, unlocked myself, and washed both me and the device thoroughly. After cleaning everything well, I placed all the pieces back on top of the door. She had left the room by then but returned to use the toilet. In our bathroom layout, the toilet and shower are on one side, opposite the vanity and large mirror. Because of this arrangement, she can see the entire shower area from her position behind the divider wall while sitting on the toilet. The black pieces resting up there were plainly visible, so I was fairly certain she had seen them even though she said nothing. We chatted about usual topics before and after she saw everything. Then she left. After drying off in the shower, I dried the device and put it in my pocket. I went to the bedroom where she was getting dressed. Our conversation continued until she realized the kids were up; at that point, she calmly looked over and asked, "Did you get all your things from the top of the shower?" I replied, "Yes, I got them," and she simply said "ok" before returning to her business. No drama, no annoyance, just a simple question in a normal tone. I was quite shocked at least. This indicated that she had indeed seen everything and we chatted as if nothing unusual occurred. I am still unsure whether she noticed me wearing it when I took my clothes off earlier, but I suspect she either saw it or assumed I was wearing it. To many visitors here, this might sound very vanilla, but for our situation, it is significant. I am starting to think that she accepts the fact that I wear a device and no longer treats it with disgust as she did initially. If you have read my earlier entries, you will recall how turned off she was by just the thought of it, wanting absolutely nothing to do with it. Perhaps times are changing. I am now encouraged enough to let her see me wearing it openly, even if only for a few seconds while I step into the shower. She has felt it in bed as well. I certainly don’t want to push things too much, especially considering she will be stressed with upcoming activities this week.

As a follow-up to my previous post, I revisited some of my earlier entries where I quoted an excellent online article. The stages listed in that article seem quite relevant to what I (and we) are experiencing. Here is the text: > The first idea involves the various stages of acceptance a person goes through when accepting chastity—or any fetish or kink presented by their partner. The most common scenario has the man presenting an idea to his wife/girlfriend. Rarely do these women accept it immediately; in fact, they may be totally opposed at first. The stages seem to be: > • Total confusion > • Shocked > • Weirded out (which can range up to total revulsion) > > If the woman is moving toward being GGG (good, giving, game), then she progresses through: > • Laissez-faire > • Cautiously curious > • Grudging acceptance > • Enthusiastic participant > > From what I have read, some women may remain in the first three stages in an endless loop. Their attitude seems to be, “I don’t want to talk about it; I don’t understand why you want to do that; it’s just weird.” The man, responding, becomes defensive, dejected, perhaps angry or depressed. He might move into "stealth mode," meaning he participates in the activity unbeknownst to his wife. Clearly, none of this is psychologically healthy for either person. > > If the wife decides she is willing to entertain the idea, she moves through the next series of steps. “Laissez-faire” is characterized by an "Okay, if you want to, but don’t ask me to be involved" attitude. Her husband, now happy that he can do what was previously forbidden, lets her know his gratitude; this triggers cautious curiosity and a tentative willingness to learn more. “Grudging acceptance” in chastity might look like, “I’ll take the key but don’t expect much else,” or, "I’m willing to play along according to some specific ground rules." The final stage, where issues are resolved, is when the wife becomes an enthusiastic participant. This connects back to my point about being equally invested. In fact, I certainly started in stealth mode without letting anyone know, then brought it up a couple of times. The first time was rough and immediately shot down, but the second time she actually told me, "It is your business if you want that on. If you want to put a key in my nightstand, go ahead. That thing turns me off so I don't want to know when you have it on. Sorry, but that's how I feel." It wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for, yet she essentially gave permission for me to wear it if I wanted, which is liberating in its own right. This mirrors the article’s description of "Laissez-faire": "Okay, if you want to, but don’t ask me to be involved." The next stage listed is "cautiously curious," potentially triggering a "tentative willingness to learn more," which may describe where we are now. It seems this might be less about learning and more about seeing and accepting it. I feel that if I ease into this and avoid anything uncomfortable or shocking, there will come a day when it’s no big deal for her to see me with it on. She has already said she is willing to keep the key on her nightstand but isn’t ready to do much else with it, so the concept of her holding the key has been introduced. I don’t want to get overly optimistic or jump ahead, but things SEEM to be progressing very closely to the article mentioned above.

I probably won’t continue with daily updates like I have been lately, but here is a quick update for today. When I woke up this morning, my morning wood straining against the cage as expected, I noticed some slight pain coming from inside the tube. It wasn't an ache or anything severe, more of a raw, "new skin" sensation. I removed the tube in the shower as usual and gave everything a good wash. After drying off thoroughly, I noticed shiny patches of skin on both sides of my penis head and across the top ridge. These were perfectly smooth and sensitive to touch. I am not sure what caused them for certain, but it might be constant contact with the inside of the tube or some rubbing that occurred there. It is strange because I have been wearing the HT V2 small tube almost exclusively, so I doubt there would be much room for friction. However, I have been wearing my device more recently than in the past, though not as much as others here do, and certainly no more than before without issue. I take it off every morning, wash everything, and ensure all is well-dried before putting it back on (which I don’t even do daily). Anyway, I think I should give everything a break to let things heal, which is somewhat disappointing since I feel momentum was building for me. Speaking of that, if you’ve been reading my entries, you know I have been trying to go about my daily routine while wearing the device and not hiding it from my wife as I did in the past. So far so good. On that note, again this morning she showered first and then left the bathroom. I went in and started getting ready for my own shower, hoping she would walk back in to see me with the device. No such luck. After showering and cleaning the device, I put it on top of the shower doors and finished up. Around the time I opened the door and was drying off, she walked into the bathroom. The parts were plainly visible atop the doors. As she entered, I wanted to see if she noticed. She made eye contact with me, started talking about "something," and then I saw her eyes dart upward to the top of the doors; I knew she had seen it there. She didn’t miss a beat, looked back at me, and continued our conversation—which happened to be about something our son had just done that made her laugh. I got out of the shower, dried off, and nonchalantly reached up to grab everything, drying each piece and setting them down while continuing my conversation with her standing next to me. Not much else to report; she seemed really unfazed by it all. Her mood was pleasant throughout. It felt pretty exciting for me, though perhaps not so much to most here. Baby steps.

The weekend went well overall. We had the father-in-law burial on Friday and a house full of relatives for most of the weekend. My wife is doing really well and seems glad that everything is finally over with closure. Aside from all that, we spent Saturday busy with yardwork at our respective parents' houses, so we didn’t even see each other until evening. We had decided to go out with some relatives on Saturday night, meaning both of us needed to get cleaned up and ready. I had been wearing my device since Friday night, so when I showered on Saturday, I gave everything a thorough cleaning. While in the shower, my wife walked in and started getting ready at the sinks. After washing the device, I placed it on top of the doors (as usual), which made a pretty good clank. She surely noticed as we chatted away. When I got out, I stood there talking to her while drying all the parts simultaneously. It felt like seeing the device and me messing with it has become normal for her now. She still hasn’t really seen me obviously wearing it in full view (though she may have caught a glimpse another day), so that will likely be next as she grows comfortable with the device itself. Anyway, we went out and didn't return until very late, going straight to bed. I was sure there wouldn't be any fooling around since we were both exhausted, so I put the Holy Trainer back on and slept. The next morning was a lazy sleep-in kind of day that we both took full advantage of. From experience, my wife is most likely to engage in fun activities in the morning. Feeling pretty horny, I started kissing and touching her. She really seemed to enjoy it, so I continued for a long time. I kissed all over her, paying particular attention to her nipples and other erogenous zones. I could feel my penis pressing against the Holy Trainer, starting to pull away from my body. As I continued, I went lower down on her body. She stripped off her pajama bottoms and pulled the sheets over my head. I stayed down there for a long time, sometimes very lightly and other times burying my face in there. She was really enjoying herself now and having trouble not cumming. After she had a wonderful orgasm, she relaxed, and I started back up again, getting her to climax a second time. During all this activity, her leg would slide across the bed and accidentally whack my device as it hung down. This happened several times; I was sure she felt it, and obviously knew I was wearing it since I always sleep with it on. She never reached down for my penis (knowing it was locked away) nor asked to have it unlocked so she could use it. Knowing all this made the experience very hot, and my locked device responded accordingly. We eventually got up and started our day without saying a word about what happened. She seemed as happy as ever and very loving throughout the day. I wonder if she is beginning to realize just how good things can be for her by me being locked up and her not having to worry about pleasing me. This morning involved the usual washing in the shower with nothing new to report. Overall, it was a great weekend, showing how far we have come from such a vanilla start.

I used the larger clear HT V2 standard tube last night, paired with the ultra-small 36mm base ring. Recently I’ve been sticking exclusively to the black short tube with its 40mm ring, but I wanted a change of pace. It’s interesting how the differences in tube length and ring diameter become apparent once morning erections set in. With the short tube and larger base ring, I get more scrotum stretch because the ring can slide down the shaft as things expand; plus, the shorter tube means the ring sits closer to the tip when the shaft is fully extended. The standard tube keeps everything nearer to the body initially, so the ring doesn’t reach quite as far up toward the tip like it does with the short version. However, that smaller inner diameter (ID) ring grips the sack tightly, creating a sharper, burning pain when things try to shift. Despite this, I believe the combination of the standard tube and smaller ring actually provides more scrotum stretch than my previous setup. It feels counterintuitive, but it seems accurate. Ultimately, having that stretched-out sack reduces nighttime discomfort, so hopefully, I’ll be able to sleep through the night soon. I’ve kept up with my usual shower routine over the past couple of days, and things remain “no big deal” regarding my wife seeing the device on the shower door after we wash. I’m considering giving her a key next week since she’s traveling for three full days. It feels like the logical next step, and the timing is right. I’d leave an emergency spare here in case something comes up that requires me to be unlocked quickly—maybe sealing it in an envelope or freezing it in ice. It might not happen, but it’s fun to ponder.

Things are maintaining their current course nicely. There hasn’t been much new lately, and we seem settled into a comfortable spot with no need to push things further right now, although I’m still thinking about suggesting she take the key on her trip next week. Even if she forgets it in her luggage, it will still hold significance for our journey. Believe it or not, even that would be considered a step forward for us, and three days locked up is long enough at this stage. This morning we did some cuddling with both of us facing the same direction, me behind her. Our body curves matched well, my crotch pressed firmly against her backside, arms wrapped around her. It’s my favorite position. Since I was already aroused, my HT stood a bit more at attention, protruding into her back slightly more than usual, making it quite obvious what was going on. She didn’t complain, and we stayed like that for a while until she got up to start her day. It was a wonderful way to begin the morning.

Since Friday morning, I kept my HT on almost continuously until just this morning (Monday). I only removed it once for cleaning and once to switch from the large tube to the small one. We went out Saturday night and again for dinner Mother’s Day Sunday evening; I wore it both times. Amazingly, after a while, I completely forgot I was wearing it. One thing I noticed is that when working outside during the hot weekend weather, my sack lengthened and loosened up from the heat. With less grip left for the base ring to hold onto, the entire device slid slightly downward, causing my flaccid penis to retract inside the tube. I had to fiddle with it a bit to get it back down where it belonged. This was with the standard tube, so I’m not sure if the shorter one would have presented the same issue. Regardless, this 36mm ring is the smallest they offer and the smallest size I’ve ever worn. It wasn’t a huge problem, just slightly annoying. I worked outside all weekend, sometimes alongside my wife, and couldn’t help feeling that on more than one occasion she noticed my unusual bump in my shorts, even though she never said anything. I had hoped for some intimate time with her over the weekend, but it didn’t happen; we were generally too tired. Another thing I’ve observed is that as I wear the device longer, I care less about wearing it. It’s no longer a major turn-on like in the past but has become more of a neutral accessory—like wearing a watch. In fact, this morning while my wife was in the bathroom doing her hair and makeup, I came in to shower. With my usual “let’s not make a big deal” attitude, I took the key out of my pocket and placed it on the shower door, then stripped facing somewhat away from her. It took some courage, but wasn’t too bad. I turned and entered the shower, giving her just a glimpse of the black trainer if she cared to look. She stayed in there for a while, and I set the clean parts back up on the door where they were fully visible. I’m so happy we’ve reached this stage; she seems increasingly comfortable with everything. I’m still leaning toward giving her the key to take on her Wednesday trip, but will see how things stand as that date approaches.

Spooning... apparently that’s what we’ve been doing all along. I always thought spooning meant something else before. Last night, I put on the standard tube and smallest ring (both clear) and went to bed about half an hour after my wife. In the past, I used to browse Tumblr or other sites after she fell asleep, but found that left me sexually charged and frustrated. It also felt unfair to her, so I’ve been trying hard not to do that anymore. Anyway, we both slept. I prefer going without underwear under my pajamas or shorts at night because I like the feeling of everything being loose and “free.” Without the restriction of underwear, my nocturnal erections seem much harder and fuller—though I have no scientific proof for this claim. So there I was, waking from deep sleep around 5 AM with a nice full nocturnal erection. It felt amazing; it didn’t hurt at all, just restricted by the cage. Definitely not unpleasant, and I could easily have rolled over (well, maybe not roll...:)) and gone back to sleep. Instead, I lay there for a while as my wife remained asleep. My base ring acts like a cock ring in that it prolongs erections significantly. Around this time, she started waking up too. She eventually rolled onto her side with her back facing me—my favorite position again. I desperately wanted to cuddle behind her (spooning, as I learned), but my erection had other plans. My hard device was sticking straight out, so close cuddling wasn’t an option... yet. After a few minutes, things normalized, and I moved in for a very close cuddle, with the hard device poking into her backside. She leaned in closely against me as we lay there. Every now and then we shifted positions, and I noticed her pressing her buttocks into my crotch and against my HT. At first, I thought it was accidental, but she did it a few more times. She was awake, hovering between sleep and full consciousness. We continued cuddling while the inside of my device began to harden somewhat. This went on for several minutes until she decided we should get up and start the day. She got up, made coffee, and headed to the bathroom. I rose later and wandered around getting things ready. When I heard her finish showering, I went back to the bedroom. As I entered, she was coming out...:(. I felt a bit disappointed because I was in the mood for her to see what I’m wearing without any reservations; the bed cuddling had put me there. She left, and I placed the key in its usual spot. Once inside the shower this time, however, I decided to leave my HT on rather than remove it. As I shivered through the process, waiting (hoping) she would wander back in, nothing happened. When I stepped out and dried off slowly, still no sign of her. Eventually, I had to get dressed and head out; she was somewhere else in the house. In the bedroom, I took my time getting ready while she didn’t show up until later. I left it on as I got dressed for work. I’m really happy with how this morning went being near her. It felt good to be so close both literally and figuratively. She seemed to enjoy pressing against my device, making me wonder if she’s starting to come around to the idea of me being locked up. On one hand, it might be more enjoyable for her knowing I’m secured; when we cuddle or play together, she doesn’t need to worry that I’ll try to escalate into sex as would have happened in the past. Now she can just relax and enjoy it without rejecting my advances or “going along” with something she doesn’t particularly want. She is now in control of all that dynamic, and I’m wondering if she’s beginning to realize it too. It’s definitely a pleasant thought.

Last night my wife was out, so I went to bed as usual. She came in later and slept straight away. Nothing notable happened overnight; morning arrived with me feeling some discomfort from a pretty serious morning erection. I managed to squeeze in some spooning before we had to get up, once things settled down on my end. It’s now Wednesday morning, and I have been locked (except for cleaning over the weekend) since Friday... or maybe it was Thursday? Starting to lose track of time at this point. In any case, I put the device on Monday evening and left it on ever since, trying to keep everything as clean as possible. She got up and hit the shower while I lay there a bit longer before crawling out of bed. When she left the bathroom, I went in for my own shower without removing my chastity device. She didn’t come back in afterward. As you may have read from earlier entries, she is traveling this week. She leaves for business travel Wednesday evening and returns late Friday. It’s not a long absence, but I felt it would be a good test to see if she takes the key. When I entered the bedroom, she was already dressed with her suitcase on the bed. With work departure imminent, I knew the timing had to be now. I grabbed the key and walked over to her, telling her that “I’d like you to take this along and put it somewhere in your luggage,” or words to that effect. She looked at my outstretched hand for a couple of seconds and said “okayyy.” She took it but with some hesitation. I turned back toward the dresser as I heard her placing it into one of her suitcase pockets. Then she added, “I hope you don’t end up in the hospital or something.” This could mean: if you get hurt doing something, you’ll still have your device on when you reach the hospital because I hold the key; OR it might simply be a hopeful wish that you don’t develop issues with the thing and need to go. Either way, it was lighthearted and not meant too seriously. I replied, “It’s okay, I have a spare right here.” So there we are: something I’ve pondered for a while. She took my key away, out of state, on a plane... making her a keyholder to some extent, albeit likely a reluctant one at this stage. I think this is definitely a step in the right direction and brought back memories of steps described in an article I read previously. My last milestone was “Laissez-faire,” characterized by: “Okay, if you want to but don’t ask me to be involved.” She seems more comfortable with my wearing it now and doesn’t shy away from feeling it like she used to. We weren't sure if she wanted to see it around the house or not, so we tended not to push that boundary, though I’m certain she caught glimpses of it in the bathroom occasionally. The next step after Laissez-faire is “Cautiously curious,” which includes a tentative willingness to learn more. Then comes “Grudging acceptance”: “I’ll take the key but don’t expect much else.” Funny enough, that was exactly her demeanor this morning. She took it with some hesitation, yes, but she did take it and put it away in her luggage. Obviously, she didn’t have to; she could have said no, or hell no, or “that’s weird,” etc., but she didn’t. Without reading too much into it, I find this very exciting. Considering where we started from, this is a major milestone. I’ve been patient and haven’t pushed things aggressively, while she has kept an open mind—and I love her for that. Remember when she emailed saying the idea totally turned her off? This journey since then has been significant. Of course, being me, I took the next step slightly ahead of schedule. Although she seemed fine afterward, I thought to myself: what good is this now “spare” key just lying in my drawer? If I unlock myself and leave it there, her holding mine means little. So I decided to put that spare key into an envelope, seal it up, and have her sign her name across the sealed area. It took some effort to gather the courage to ask, but I eventually did. There was a hint of “this is too much” in her expression, along with head shaking and a heavy sigh, yet she signed it. I tried to act casual, though I was literally trembling inside. Once done, I put the envelope into my nightstand drawer for emergencies. She returned to her normal self afterward—joking around as usual before leaving the house. Yes, I even got a goodbye kiss and an “I love you.” Life is good indeed. So today, I am officially locked until Friday night. Granted, she didn’t physically perform the locking action herself, but SHE TOOK MY KEY WITH HER! All with very little hesitation. I have a good feeling about this situation. However, I’m curious how things will play out when she returns home. It should be late enough that we’ll likely go to bed shortly after her arrival. She leaves again Sunday night for another trip until next Friday. Hmmmm... maybe another lock-in period?

With my wife traveling I wasn't expecting much in terms of communication from her, but was pleasantly surprised that she sent a few text messages. Nothing major, just nice notes about what was happening in her world: things she bought to replace items she forgot to pack, getting a haircut, and other "trivial" details. The funny thing is these light-hearted texts made me really happy. I could tell from her messages that she was relaxed and thinking of me quite a lot, wanting to share small moments with me. It's always a bit tense when you do or say something to your wife before she leaves on a trip because it can go either way. I don't like springing things on her at the last minute, but felt that's exactly what I did. I gave her the key and had her sign the envelope just minutes before she left. She seemed okay at the time, but with more time to think about it afterward, she might have started feeling manipulated or put in a situation she wasn't comfortable with. Her words and actions after that, especially hours later, eased those fears. She was happy and content with me. She had to catch another flight so her next texts came much later. I was already in bed when they arrived. We chatted for a while about various things, then I wished her good night and told her I loved her. She texted back "I love u 2", which was awesome and slightly different since she usually spells everything out. It felt almost playful. Anyway, got good sleep and woke up with morning wood....... naturally. It was a nice full erection but wasn't painful or uncomfortable at all. I've been wearing one of my chastity devices (I switch back and forth sometimes) every night for quite some time now. It's been weeks since I started sleeping in it constantly, so I feel everything has adjusted and stretched to the point where they don't hurt anymore. The only pain comes if the bottom of my sack isn't lubed enough with lotion before bed, creating a dreaded "hot spot" where the base ring grabs one section of skin and stretches it. Other than that, really no issues. I'm more prone to this with the small 36mm ring I am currently wearing compared to the 40mm ring sitting in my drawer. For whatever reason today, I seem to have a very high and tight sack all morning. Usually things loosen up after a few hours, but not so far today. I play golf this afternoon in my league, which will be the first time ever golfing while wearing a device. Shouldn't be an issue, but I'll keep you posted. I'll have to be careful since taking a leak on the course is more difficult now. One last thing. We have two children aged 10 and 14, and I am very careful to keep all this chastity business away from them. I'm mindful of putting everything away (except for that one time) and ensuring they don't inadvertently bump it. Despite all this, my wife was still okay with me being locked the whole time she's gone, knowing "something" could happen where they might find out about it. She trusts me to be careful and must understand how important this is to me. The easy thing would have been for her to tell me she wasn't comfortable with me wearing it while away, but she didn't. Her only comment was wondering if I'd end up at the hospital or something due to being locked. More of a "how would you explain that" type remark. There's still plenty to think about, but I feel we are making progress.

Today is the day. It feels like only Wednesday morning since my lovely wife left, but this is the longest stretch I've been locked up continuously, and the ONLY time she has taken the key with her, so today means a lot to me. I've been thinking about what will happen tonight when she gets home, around 10pm. Specifically, what won't happen. What I would prefer is that she arrives, we head for bed after a bit, and I remain locked until at least morning while we do our usual spooning; eventually, I go down on her. That's my desired outcome. What probably will happen is that she unpacks and hands me the key right away. It'll be sort of a "here's your thing" moment before she returns to what she was doing. We'll go to bed and she'll fall asleep quickly, tired from traveling. Like they say... hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Even the worse isn't so bad; tonight I can sleep with my wife. I have a cub scout campout on Saturday morning, so I will definitely take my device off for that. I don't need that unknown variable added to all the chaos of scouts. When she returns Sunday evening, she will pack again to leave until Friday night. This trip is longer by three days exactly, but I'll only be locked up one day longer since I self-locked myself in on Monday. I'm debating giving her the key again. I think I will, depending on how things fared while I've been locked since Monday. Everything feels fine, no pain or discomfort, so I doubt there's an issue. For the most part, I forget I'm wearing it, but being new to this, I worry about what people outside see. The lock bulge looks like a big hump in my pants front, though reality is likely that nobody has noticed, and probably never will. The desire to keep making progress with chastity and my wife far outweighs the fear of being "found out" at work or elsewhere. Right now, my wife is a reluctant participant but seems accustomed to seeing my device and feeling it at night, so keeping myself locked for a week while she holds the key seems like the obvious choice. I'm starting to shop around online and reading reviews on different steel cages. This feels like the next logical step, though I don't want to jump there until I see how the next couple of weeks pan out.

One thing I've wanted to mention in previous posts is that when I first started experimenting in MC (Male Chastity), I had already pictured my wife as a keyholder. I thought things would take their natural course, and based on what I read online, it wouldn't be long before she saw the benefits of me being locked and happily took the control. The reality is that everything takes time and changes constantly. I was very excited about the "fantasy" of MC, as many guys are, and tended to push things along faster than they would progress naturally. Not the most patient guy, so sometimes it felt too slow. I wrote her letters explaining my feelings and desires, which immediately turned her off to the idea completely. I almost gave up, but decided I needed to take things much more slowly at a pace comfortable for her. I think that without pressure or needing her to do anything specific, by showing her this is important to me and could benefit us both in our relationship, she has started to adjust. She now knows I wear it almost all the time, not hiding anything. She's come to enjoy our spooning time and having her own orgasms without being "pressured" into traditional sex whenever my horniness spikes from her attention. She has seen the device several times, even me wearing it possibly. She agreed to take my key for a few days knowing in the back of her mind that I am locked until she gets home and decides whether to give me the lock back. She's started seeing how this process brings us closer together, even when apart. All because I decided to take my time giving her space. Trying to force something on her only made her push away more and reject the idea completely. I realize we are still far from having her fully embrace it, and it could end tomorrow, but for now, I think the most important thing is continuing to give her time and space naturally. She needs to see how this benefits her specifically. I can't believe how far we've come in just a few months.

Like mentioned earlier, I was sure what to expect when she got home. In essence it wasn't too bad; looking back now, I'd say it went well. She arrived from her trip around 9:30 Friday night and spent quality time with the kids. By the time we headed for bed it was late and both pretty beat. I had to get up early for a Cub Scout camping trip, but she got up with me. I decided to take the device off before the trip just to be extra careful, so I needed the key from her that morning. My son was already up and she was busy with him; while in the bedroom, I noticed the key in a mesh pocket of her now-empty suitcase, so I helped myself. I knew I should have asked for it, but she was busy and seemed tired, so I didn't. After showering and cleaning everything well, I left. On Sunday morning we returned home; she was already packing for her next trip. This time she'd be gone Sunday through Friday, a few days longer. We were all busy with things to do. At some point in the afternoon, realizing she was almost completely packed, I knew it was time to put on the device and give her the key. I chose the HT Short (black) and matching 40mm ring since the last combo from last week wasn't quite right. I quickly put it on and took the rest of the parts to my room. She was there doing finishing touches, so after putting the bag of parts into the drawer where she could see them, I turned around and handed her the key saying "can you take the key again?" She looked confused for a second then replied "don't I already have it?" As I explained that I had taken it yesterday before the trip, she took it. When she said "don't I already have it", I got that quick spark of "wow, how hot did that just sound?" and felt the twinge of horniness. Looking back, I wonder if she figured I was still locked since early last week because she knows this process well and the other key is sealed in an envelope......the one SHE signed. She must have assumed I would stay locked indefinitely. Maybe? Her phrasing instead of something like "didn't I already give that to you" leads me to believe she was definitely aware of what was going on. I am really excited for Friday, both to see her and knowing I don't need to take it off as soon as she arrives. She'll be the one deciding when it comes off.......just as it should be.

I've been thinking about my wife's "Don't I already have it?" comment yesterday when I gave her the key back for her trip, trying not to overthink it. We've been experimenting with chastity for quite a while now, and she is very familiar with the hardware. She sees the parts making up the device almost daily when I take them off to clean in the shower, leaving them in plain view of her. I have to believe she knows they consist of the tube, ring, and key/lock mechanism. When she left last week, I gave her a key to take with me. Her comment was "I hope you don't have to go to the hospital," which sounded like she believed I was giving her my only key. I replied that I had a second one for situations just like this. So she packed her key away. Then I put the second in an envelope and had her sign across the seal. I reiterate all this because it explains her confused look when I gave back "her" key. She assumed she still had it in her luggage, and that I was still locked up because I hadn't asked for it back. In essence, she was perfectly happy to take it on another trip leaving me locked. She was completely aware she still held the lock, and that I remained secured. She knows when we sleep together spooning what she feels pressed against her is not my free penis but in fact my locked device. It seems none of this bothers her; she has pressed her backside against it on more than one occasion. I think what really gets me going is knowing exactly where her key is, and that the other one is sealed away for emergencies. So she must know I am completely locked until she gives my device back to unlock. She now holds the lock to my device and is perfectly okay with it. She controls when I get out and is comfortable with this idea. If she decides she wants PIV sex, she will give me the key; as long as I can satisfy her orally, there isn't any reason for change. I have never been happier with how things are going, starting to see her participation grow. I do love her so much. I realize this journal tends to be a bit wordy and not overly exciting from an outside perspective, but it certainly helps me put my thoughts to paper and keep an active record of our journey.

As I get further into the week, I find that I am getting hornier than last week. It's funny; it's like I forget I'm wearing it about 60% of the time, and the rest is made up of knowing how lucky I am to be locked and feeling good doing so. I find myself being more relaxed and happy rather than frustrated and stressed as I seemed before. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with being locked or not, but I don't feel it's coincidental. I've talked to my wife a few times while she's been gone; she always seems really upbeat and happy. In the past, I would get cranky and we'd argue over stupid things, then she'd get mad at me, etc., etc. There doesn't seem to be hardly any of that anymore. I used to get upset about not having sex enough, typical male stuff, but my wife has a low libido so if it happened once a month or less, she was good with that. I think this is actually one reason why chastity works in our relationship: for me, when we wouldn't have sex for a while, I resorted to masturbation to take care of my "needs" and invariably as soon as I masturbated, she would want to have sex. We were always on different pages. Now she doesn't have to be concerned about me begging or getting pissed when she deflects advances. She can be herself, and we can play around in bed without her being pressured into PIV sex. I still can't believe that she is holding onto my key....right now. She left with it and God knows when I will get it back. That is so far removed from where we were just a few months ago. When she comes back this time, she won't have another trip planned for over two weeks, so I'm curious how she'll handle the key. It's funny; I still can't quite read her mind on what she thinks about it all. Originally she was turned off by the whole idea and didn't want to know or participate. Now she obviously knows I wear it most of the time, and always when she is gone (meaning at work, store, home, around kids), which seems okay with her. On the other hand, she still has an issue seeing me wearing the device. She sees it in the bathroom on a shelf and moved it to our room once, but now avoids coming into the bathroom in the morning if she thinks I'm standing there wearing it. I gather this because she knocks before asking if she can come in; when I say yes, she replies something like "do I *want* to come in?" Of course I say yes, but I know what she means. She has an issue with seeing me wear it. That's fine; can't really blame her if the sight turns her off slightly. But if this is going to work and she seems willing to play along, over time she will see it one way or another. It's not like I'm flaunting it or hiding it; there will be times she gets a glimpse (or more), and I hope that eventually lets her get past these feelings. Once I can wear it, put it on, take it off, etc., around her, then it definitely becomes more of a reality as something we can both make work. I give her so much credit for being willing to go along with this, even participating on some level. I'm going to do everything I can to make this enjoyable for us both and show her the benefits she gets from chastity.

Today is the day my wonderful wife returns. I’m eager to see her, and she’s just as anxious to get back. She won’t be home until late tonight, which likely means we’ll stay up for a bit before turning in, much like last time. The main difference this time around is that I have no obligations this weekend requiring me to unlock, and she isn't leaving on another trip immediately. This makes me curious about how the key exchange will play out. She'll probably unpack at some point over Saturday, which is when she’ll likely hand it back. However, if you recall last time, she had no intention of giving it up and would have easily taken it along without a second thought. I know this because I ended up unlocking for Saturday; when I gave her the key, she was surprised and asked, "don't I already have it?" Knowing my wife well, I suspect in her mind she was thinking something like, 'if I'm not here, why would he need to be unlocked? This is what he wanted.' She simply assumed there was no reason for me to unlock. So, I’m hoping she keeps hold of the key for a while longer, but even if she does give it back, I can just toss it in the drawer as usual and let her tell me when to unlock. Things are so much better now compared to before regarding both chastity and our overall relationship. The contrast is remarkable; we’ve come such a long way. Previously, she wanted nothing to do with this and was quite repulsed by the whole idea. Today, there’s an acceptance that makes it easier for me to continue. She sees it daily, feels it against her backside at night, and recognizes I’m wearing it while around the house. She has even been willing to take the key with her on trips. Considering where we were just a few months ago, this is astonishing. I never would have guessed we’d get here, especially after essentially giving up twice before. Patience definitely pays off.

My predictions about her arrival last night were pretty accurate. She got home late from the airport, so we hung out for a while before going to bed. We cuddled up and drifted off. Our daughter had been on a class trip and wasn't expected back until 5 am. My wife even mentioned she wanted to go pick her up, so at 4:30 she got up and headed out. Once everyone was home again, my wife slipped back into bed for more sleep. Nothing major happened this time either, just some nice spooning. It felt wonderful being that close again; my device settled comfortably against her rear. I’m sure she recognized that familiar feeling. When we both started waking up, I had a pretty solid trapped erection. The pressure was pleasant and firm behind the base ring as it bulged out. There wasn't any pain since my scrotum has stretched enough to accommodate this over time; just restrained pressure. After a few minutes, the swelling subsided, and everything returned to normal. This brings up something I had been slightly concerned about: whether I was still having erections like usual. I hadn’t noticed any during sleep for quite some time and wasn't sure if I was sleeping through them or not. Last night, with my wife by my side, I woke up twice with strong ones that lasted a good while. In fact, the last one before getting up might have been real because I had some precum leaking out afterwards. My wife has headed over to her mother's place to help our son with a garage sale, so she may be gone for a while. She still hasn't unpacked anything yet, which means she is still holding the key. It seems I’m locked until further notice. We'll see what happens later today and tonight; I can’t wait.

It’s Sunday morning now. Still locked and loving it. She hasn't unpacked yet, so no key exchange just yet. More updates to follow.

Here we are on Monday morning, Memorial Day, and I’m still locked with no mention of a key yet. I know she packed it in her carry-on, but that bag remains unpacked. No worries; I certainly don't mind. Our weekend involved lots of outdoor activities and yard work, so by bedtime we were exhausted anyway. Not much romantic activity occurred. Yesterday morning was our first chance to spend time together in bed. We cuddled, and I kissed and played with her breasts for a while, which she seemed to enjoy, but then we had to get up and start the day. Because of that, I think she doesn't mind me being locked since she must feel it against her and remembers having the key like last time. Last time, I thought she might have forgotten, but she hadn’t. She’s still been very affectionate. It was amazing how a little bit of playing yesterday led to some nice precum leaking out from the device soon after. It almost felt like peeing slightly, but it was definitely precum. I’m really happy with how things are going right now. Eight days locked continuously—fourteen if you count the one day I took it off. Still super comfortable.

I’m back to work on Tuesday morning, and honestly, I’m a bit relieved the weekend is over. Spring is always hectic at our house, and this weekend was no exception. I found myself somewhat irritable yesterday, likely just because I was tired from three days of outdoor labor. It was also pretty hot out, which didn't help much. I don’t think it had anything to do with being locked; usually, I’m oblivious to the device and carry on as normal. Speaking of that, I am finding myself more relaxed about wearing the device in public. In the past, I would be very self-conscious about people noticing something odd under my pants and figuring out what was going from the slight bulge or other signs. Now, the more I wear it, the less I think about it. I’m relaxing knowing that nobody is paying much attention to me or my bulge. I even went swimming in our pool over the weekend with people around, and everything went fine; swimming wasn't an issue at all. However, I am starting to wonder a bit about the situation with my wife. As I wrote earlier, we did some playing the other morning which was fun but didn’t last long or go very deep. It got far enough for me to get excited (which doesn't take much), and she seemed to enjoy the attention, but then it was time to get up and start our day. We haven’t done anything else like that in a while, though part of that is due to her traveling almost two weeks straight. Still, I want to be sure she’s okay with how things are currently. I’m sure much of this is in my head, but there are times when I can't help thinking she avoids certain situations just so she doesn’t have to deal with the device. She doesn't seem to come into the bathroom in the morning while I'm showering like she used to; instead, she leaves when I enter and returns once I leave. It could be a coincidence, but I’m not entirely sure. Also, as mentioned, we haven’t had much real intimate time lately, and her last orgasm was over three weeks ago, right after I went down on her. A lot of this is probably because we are so exhausted when we finally get to bed that neither of us feels like it, plus we often have to wake up early for somewhere. Regarding the key: she still has it in her carry-on bag. I checked the bag this morning and there's quite a bit left inside; she hasn't emptied it yet. It’s hard to believe she might have forgotten about the key because her behavior around me suggests she knows I’m wearing it, so she must be thinking something along the lines of, 'Oh yeah, I still have the key.' I hope that is true and not just forgetfulness on my part or confusion on hers. I am considering mentioning to her that yes, she has the key, which is fine with me, but I don’t want her to completely forget. Or something like that. Haven't decided exactly how to bring it up yet, but enough time has passed. I don't mind being locked; I just don't want to be ignored while locked. That’s no fun for anyone. I know my wife doesn’t need sex often—in fact, in the past she went weeks or longer without needing it—so her libido is relatively low, and I’m not too worried about that aspect. But I do want to bring up the key just in case. It’s funny how wearing a chastity device evolves over time. When I first started this, simply wearing one and feeling it was the biggest turn-on for me. The mere presence of it would get me so aroused that I could actually cum if I played with it too much. Back then, I also experimented with prostate massage and reached a point where I could regularly milk myself. Now, however, it has become just something I wear and do. People describe it like wearing a watch; you just get used to it. That’s very accurate. You stop thinking about being turned on by it, but you miss it if it's gone. It feels like the device is becoming part of my life now. I just hope my wife accepts this as we move forward. It certainly isn't worth having a divide between us because of it; if I felt that was happening, then (I) would have to consider stopping.

Last night was another busy evening with the kids' sports and my wife playing volleyball. Nobody in the house really settled down until around 10 pm. My wife called to let me know she was on her way at about 10:30 and arrived shortly after. We relaxed together, watched some TV, then headed off to bed a bit after eleven. As soon as we got into bed, I could tell she was relaxed and in a loving mood. We quickly began caressing each other and getting very close. I started playing with her breasts and kissing her nipples, knowing this is one of her favorite things. She began breathing more deeply, and I could see she was turning on minute by minute. Slowly moving lower down her body as she tipped her head back and arched her back. As I reached her waist, she slid her pajama bottoms down, finally removing them completely. I could smell her juices starting to flow; the musky scent from her sweaty workout mixed with her thick bush. She has always had a full bush, keeping it neat past her bikini line. As I lowered my face into her wetness, she thrust her hips up, pressing me in harder. I went to work on her, alternating between increased pressure and very light touches that drove her absolutely crazy. This continued for a long time. I would lighten the touch when I felt she was nearing the edge. Eventually, she reached the point of no return and had a very intense orgasm that seemed to last forever. I kept up what I was doing until she hit that ticklish phase where I lightened my pressure again. However, I didn't give up entirely; eventually, that phase passed, and I got back to work. Not long after, she reached another climax with it being much less intense. I knew that was probably all the energy she had left for now, so I slid back up and we cuddled more. At one point, our arms were wrapped around each other, and she squeezed me tightly. She kept giving me bear hugs while we told each other how much we loved one another. We kissed and drifted off to sleep. While all this was happening, I remained locked of course. My erection was building and straining against the device, desperate to get out. It didn't happen; instead, it just leaked some precum in anticipation. I was a little surprised that she didn’t allow her leg or feet—any part of her body—to come into contact with my hanging device while I lay across her legs. In the past, she would run her hand up under my balls in a nice stroking motion, but this time it seemed obvious she avoided it entirely. The only real contact was when I laid next to her, and my device pressed into her hip area. Morning arrived, and she was already up and working when I woke. We chatted for a bit before getting ready for work and showering. When I was in the bedroom dressing, she walked in to do the same. As we dressed in silence, I eventually told her how much I appreciated her keeping my key. Her response wasn't exactly what I expected. It was something along the lines of, "Um yeah, I guess I still have it... somewhere," giving me a sort of blank look as she turned to stare at her luggage in the corner. I pointed out that since she hadn’t given it back, she must still have it and hopefully hasn't lost it. She chuckled and said, "Well, that's why you have a spare key." I explained I was just hoping she hadn’t forgotten having it at all, not the other way around where she wondered why I was wearing it. She seemed fairly confident she could find it again but couldn't quite remember exactly where. She finished up and left the room, leaving me to figure out what had just happened. Apparently, she HAD forgotten that she held the key, yet remained well aware that I was still locked up. It became clear to me that she doesn’t really want to participate in this chastity thing at all; if I want to be locked, fine, and if not, also fine. She feels it’s something I’ve done to myself. I’m not exactly sure where to go from here since playing alone isn't what I want to do long-term, yet she still doesn’t seem eager to get involved. I've been locked for 10 days straight now, and she could pretty much care less. She wants no part of it. It’s nice in a way that she doesn't mind me doing this since I enjoy it, but making it work really takes two people. Being locked while ignored is not fun. I'll have to think about this one.

One comment still has me thinking. When I told her I just wanted to ensure she hadn’t lost the key in her suitcases or during travel, she replied that "there's nothing to forget; you asked me to hold the key so I figured you would ask for it back when you needed it"...or words to that effect. It seems she is perfectly happy holding onto the key and knowing I am locked up with my device, unable to access her. She seems quite content with providing oral service instead. The only downside is that she hasn’t shown any indication of wanting to participate in a more active way.

I try not to post many replies on 'Journey' threads, but I'm wondering if it might have been better for you. Instead of waiting until the next morning to remind her about the key, while she was receiving your oral pleasure and just before that first orgasm hit, could you have said something like, "Damn, I really want to be inside you right now; could you unlock me?" At that moment, she would have had to decide whether she wanted to let you have some PIV sex or if she preferred leaving you locked while you finished her. It is very possible that at that point, letting her urge for an orgasm take priority led her to *choose* to leave you locked. That decision could be reinforced by the pleasure of her orgasm itself, creating a link—even on a subconscious level—between her satisfaction and your being locked during it. Such a choice made by *her*, at such a pivotal moment, might exert more influence than anything else you did. No guarantee, of course, but quite possible if not likely. Unfortunately, now you'll have to wait for another opportunity.

Wow, you just blew my mind (no pun intended)!! That's brilliant. I appreciate you taking a chance on responding to my Journey entry; normally when someone does that it's some sort of criticism. Anyway, that makes complete sense. By taking her to the edge of having an orgasm, probably to a point where it would be difficult if not impossible for her to stop, and then asking her to unlock me (or give me the key in this case) would have most certainly resulted in a resounding "NO". I very much believe that she would choose having an orgasm right then and there as opposed to stopping, looking for the key (which she still isn't sure where exactly it is), and then giving it to me so I could unlock myself, finish getting hard, etc... knowing that by then the moment would have passed. You're right; unfortunately this will have to wait until next time, but I really like how it makes the connection between her immediate need for an orgasm and her denying me access to my own orgasm and unlocked penis. One thing that struck me when we were doing this the other night was that she never once asked me if I wanted to be unlocked, or seemed at all concerned that I wasn't enjoying it by not being able to climax myself. In the past when I was experimenting with chastity without a device, she would ask if I wanted to cum too, once she was done. I would say *no, that's ok* or something along those lines and she would be like *ok, if you're sure*, seeming a little disappointed that I didn't want to. Totally different this time. Also, one last thing. I was always concerned that oral gratification wouldn't be enough for her, that she would need me inside her at some point, but that doesn't seem to be the case. She had very intense orgasm(s) the other night and seemed VERY satisfied when done. We haven't done PIV sex since 4/24, and have only done her receiving oral since then (5/3 and 5/26), so it's been over a month and she seems fine with that.

Just a quick thing to add to my previous post. Another thing I have noticed in addition to her not being concerned about my lack of orgasms is that there was a sense of "you asked me to hold the key, I'm holding it, what's the issue?" type of attitude now from her, and I am absolutely loving that. She came right out and told me when I inquired if she remembered she was holding the key; she said "what's to remember? you wanted me to hold it so I am; when you want it back I figure you would tell me.." And the fact that she wasn't at all concerned about its whereabouts, she told me "that's why you have an extra key (chuckle)". Very hot. I feel that she is more open to spontaneous foreplay leading into sex since it's all her pleasure and now she doesn't have to participate in any way like before. In the past she knew in the back of her mind that when we started fooling around, I was expecting it to lead to PIV every time. Not anymore, so the pressure is off.

Last night we went to bed fairly early, and when I got to the bedroom she was already in bed reading. I changed and climbed into bed. I hadn't been in the best of moods all evening and was pretty quiet for me. I'm not sure what it was, but I knew I was better off just going to bed. Nothing happened, and I fell asleep almost immediately. During the night I did find her over on my side of the bed some, and we did cuddle a few times. When I woke up she had already been up and came into the bedroom already showered with a cup of coffee for me. It was a nice surprise by itself, but then she began to give me a nice back massage. This never happens by the way.... I got up and wandered around the house eventually watching the news for a few minutes. She proceeded to get dressed and went back in the bathroom to finish getting ready. I decided it was time to start getting so I wandered into the bathroom. If you'll remember, it's seemed that lately she has been avoiding the whole bathroom situation when I'm in there. Whether that's true or not I'm not sure, or maybe it's just a coincidence, but for the last couple of weeks that I've been locked full time, she hasn't come and gone in the bathroom like she has always done in the past. Well, today as I was heading to the bathroom to shower I couldn't help but think "she knows I'm going to be coming in to strip and shower but she's still in there doing her thing". At any rate, I didn't let this stop me and went in and shut the door. She was standing there in front of the mirror and I proceeded to strip off my clothes. We weren't real chatty this morning, but we talked about a couple of things as I turned and faced her, walking toward the shower. I paid attention to her eyes to see if she would look down because at this point she was facing toward me. Her gaze never lowered, but she didn't turn away either. I went into the shower and shut the sliding door. While I was showering I saw her leave with her blowdryer. As I was finishing up she came back in; I slid the door open and grabbed my towel. I dried myself while she stood facing the mirror, which would have given her a nice reflection of me exiting the shower. I dried off and tried to be somewhat discreet as I didn't want to exaggerate the fact that I was still wearing the device. Remember, baby steps. It was enough for me to have her in the bathroom with me wearing an exposed device; I didn't need to push the issue. Not much happened after that as I got dressed for work, the kids got up, and she left of work. Looking back now she certainly did seem very loving and affectionate this morning, and also didn't try and time things so she wasn't in the bathroom at the same time I was. I'm not sure if this was just normal events or if there might be something to this. It's possible that she is starting to realize that I must be at least somewhat serious about this because it's the longest I've been locked by a long shot, and that she is still holding the key. The coffee and massage I got this morning definitely has me thinking though as this NEVER happens normally.

Our weekend was quite busy as usual, so there wasn't much to report. I remained locked up and everything went well. Saturday night arrived, and I tried for some intimacy but got rejected because she said she came to bed just to sleep, not to play around. Darn it. We were both exhausted and headed straight off to sleep. Sunday morning brought a change; she was much more receptive to my advances, and before long we were enjoying each other's company. Since I was still in my device, she became the receiver rather than the giver, and you could tell she really liked it. She took off her pajamas, and I went down on her multiple times until she reached orgasm. While doing this, I noticed the device rubbing against her leg, and as we cuddled afterward, it was pressed firmly against her body with an attempted erection and a trail of pre-cum leaking out. It felt wonderful, and we lay there for quite some time. Eventually, she asked how much longer I planned to wear that thing. It surprised me slightly, but not entirely, since I know she likes feeling me inside her. I replied something along the lines of "whenever you decide." She said she hadn't wanted me in it initially anyway, and when I suggested giving me the key so I could unlock myself, she seemed open to it. I realize I might have handled that better, but I could sense her frustration with the chastity setup, and being clever or manipulative wouldn't have helped much. She mentioned the device had been pressing into her leg, which wasn't very comfortable for her—fair enough. She then recalled looking for the key earlier without finding it, perhaps in her carry-on bag. Sure enough, she went to check that morning and found the kye (key), placing it in the top drawer of my nightstand. It had been two weeks since I locked myself into my HT and handed over the key. That's a new record for me; I hadn't expected to last that long without being released. Later that afternoon, once I passed the official two-week mark, I finally unlocked and inspected everything. All went well with no surprises upon removal. I have to admit it felt good to get it off and give my area a thorough cleaning. I've been free ever since and am uncertain about when I'll lock up again. It could be at night or during her next trip, but I'm not sure yet. We're still figuring out where we stand—whether chastity will play a role or if a device is required for it to work effectively. My gut feeling is that I'll stay involved in enforced chastity to some degree, especially since I know I can wear the device openly around her without hiding it. One more thing: now that I'm unlocked, she hasn't taken advantage of the situation yet, so I'm still waiting.

Not much to report at the moment. She is out of town for work this time around, and I didn't lock up or give her the key like last time. Everything stayed at home, and I only self-lock when I feel it necessary to prevent masturbation, such as today...:). I believe our plan moving forward is to keep chastity as a part-time activity, wearing the device mostly at home. I'm not keen on 24/7 wear; I don't think it benefits me or her significantly enough for that level of commitment. My goal remains making our bedtime sessions all about her pleasure while retaining the ability to unlock quickly if she prefers. I'll let her know that I am ready to unlock whenever she wants, but will remain locked in bed unless instructed otherwise. Keeping the device integrated into our play is important; it signals that I am serious and willing to continue wearing it regularly. Hopefully, this demonstrates that it isn't just a passing fad or kink that will fade away on its own. I must admit I did "fall off the wagon" last Friday. I was feeling quite horny while wearing my device and decided to try using our vibrating massager against both the cage and my balls, which I had never attempted before. At first, nothing much happened when I used it on my balls and perineum even though it felt pleasant. Then I positioned it directly against the cage, producing a strange sensation. It felt as if my member were asleep or numb, but suddenly a wave of orgasm swept through me, and I cummed. There was quite an amount released without any erection (obviously) or physical contact other than from the massager itself. It felt great because it relieved over a month's worth of pent-up tension and lust, though soon after, that same horny feeling returned. A perfect ruined orgasm. I felt slightly guilty for doing it but knew she would be away on another trip for over a week and was fairly certain I couldn't hold out much longer. I had been distracted and increasingly horny, finding it harder to focus at work and home. After being free for the weekend, I have since been self-locking intermittently.

I've given this some thought, and I think what I'll do is try to get her slightly involved in my device wearing (primarily at bedtime). My idea is to ask her simply to tell me to "put the device on!" or ask "are you locked?" or "is the device on?" if we go to bed and I start getting frisky while she isn't quite in the mood. Chances are, I'll already be wearing it when these questions come up, but hearing her say so is what matters. Conversely, if we reach bedtime and both of us are aroused, and she prefers me unlocked, she can just tell me to take that thing off. This approach places some control in her hands regarding whether I am locked or unlocked at night without burdening her with the full "keyholder" role, which she clearly doesn't want right now. Keeping her involved in this *game* benefits us both and gives me clearer cues about what she wants or doesn't want to do. Last time we were fooling around in bed, she was frustrated because she wanted intimacy while I was locked with the key hidden somewhere in a suitcase pocket. With my new plan, she can simply instruct me to unlock, which is quick. On the flip side, if I am going down on her and she doesn't want things to progress further up, she can tell or ask (as above) for me to get locked or confirm that I remain locked. That would be incredibly hot for me, giving her confidence that I won't push beyond what she desires. I plan to discuss this with her when she returns from her trip next week. Speaking of which, aside from using the vibrator last Friday leading to a ruined orgasm, I've been doing my best to behave and avoid another release. Except for that Friday incident, I haven't cum since May 2nd (when I masturbated), and my horniness seems to grow daily. I have been locking myself up every evening and staying locked throughout the night to prevent mishaps. So far, so good. My wife and I last had PIV sex on April 24th, which explains her frustration during our recent encounter.

Well, I'm back. After being "offline" since June, I've decided to revisit this site and see what's happening. A lot has occurred in my life since my last post here. Most importantly (at least for this forum context) was that I gave up on chastity—or at least I thought I had. Looking back now, I don't recall one specific event or lack thereof causing me to quit; it just felt like the way the entire "experiment" played out. As you might remember from my earlier entries, things weren't going smoothly with my wife's acceptance of me wearing a chastity device, nor really with male chastity in general. I tried making it all about her pleasure, but that didn't seem to matter much; she had no real interest in the concept. Period. After some time of me wearing it and giving it room to breathe, it became clear she wasn't going to shift her stance on the subject, so it sort of turned into "what's the point?" It isn't fun being locked up if nobody cares, especially if your spouse seems bothered by it. So I decided to get rid of all my gear. Yes, I know I could have sold them here or on eBay, but I needed to remove them from my immediate surroundings as soon as possible to avoid second thoughts. So I threw everything away and felt much better about the decision... for a while. July was incredibly busy with numerous trips and long weekends crammed into those 31 days, leaving little time to ponder anything else. My wife and I didn't have much sex during that period, and eventually, I started masturbating again. To be honest, I began edging myself until I had a nice hard erection, trying to maintain it as long as possible. My thinking was that since my penis had been confined in devices for so long, it might reach a point where it wouldn't get truly erect outside them anymore. It also became highly sensitive; when my wife and I tried intercourse, I would stay fairly soft and cum with minimal touch—not very enjoyable for her. We are still working through this sensitivity today. To help adjust, I edged myself to try reinvigorating sensation levels and reducing hypersensitivity, but occasionally went too far. It didn't help the bedroom dynamic as much as hoped. Recently, however, I've started thinking about returning to a device. I'm not entirely sure why, but I miss wearing it—the confined space, its weight, the tightness at night, and the inability to access my member easily. I also miss having masturbation prevented. Now I am considering ordering another one. This time, I'll likely choose an HT V2 in standard length black with a 40mm ring. That was my preferred setup previously, though back then my tube was clear rather than flexible. My short black tube had been more flexible and grippy, which I really liked. Here I am, ready to pull the trigger on the order and hoping she is okay with it. Part of me wants to discuss it first; on the other hand, since she doesn't yet know I threw away my old gear, buying a new one might be almost non-event for her. At this stage in my chastity journey, I am not looking for active participation from her. I don't want to approach her with suggestions on how to integrate it into our lives; instead, I just want to wear the device because of how it makes me feel and behave, while also needing her tolerance when she sees it occasionally. Having her notice it in the bathroom during showers is part of that visibility. In the past, she was fine seeing it there, but I usually kept things discreet regarding its presence on my body. I remain nervous about her reaction, as you can see, but if I treat this as "my thing" without requiring her involvement, it might work better. We shall see where this next step leads.

One thing I wanted to add (this journal is very therapeutic for me, by the way) is that right now might not be the ideal time to restart because my wife received a promotion at work and has been more stressed and tired during this transition period. Sometimes I feel the last thing she needs to "deal with" is my device wearing again. I'll have to play it by ear regarding timing. On a brighter note, her promotion prompted my suggestion that she perhaps dress up slightly more since she is now in management rather than being just an engineer among workers. Not that she didn't look good before, but taking style up a notch seems appropriate. She has always been somewhat self-conscious about her body and gained a little weight over the last couple of years, but I think she looks great, and I love her curves. Regardless, I suggested she wear more skirts and business-style outfits, which I find extremely sexy and helpful for her self-image. To my surprise, she took my advice to heart and went out to buy some new clothes; all were either skirts or dresses. I see this as a wonderful way to boost her confidence and show that I still find her very sexy and attractive. Many other men agree.

I made the decision to take the first step toward wearing a device once more. I ordered a new Holy Trainer V2 Standard Black Sheath with a 40mm base ring. I also picked up their new anti-pullout accessory to test it out. Having owned both short and standard length sheaths before, I chose standard this time because the short version tended to pull away from my body under normal conditions, unless paired with the super-small 36mm base ring, which felt too tight for me. Granted, the short tube was easier to conceal visually, but I don't plan on leaving the house locked up anymore (at least not immediately), viewing this new phase as being worn primarily around the home and during nights/evenings—a masturbation deterrent that isn't necessary while at work. I had been considering telling my wife about buying a replacement for the discarded devices, then realized I never actually informed her of throwing them out. So to her perspective, this is just picking up where things left off. I may still let her know I am returning to device wear but expect no active involvement from her; it shouldn't be a complete surprise when I start again. I'll begin slowly as before and try to keep it somewhat discreet, yet without going out of my way to hide it completely. I need to overcome the discomfort of wearing it while naked in her presence, such as in the bathroom mornings. Also, vigilance is required to ensure the children never see it at any time. The package *should* arrive next week, which works out perfectly because nobody will be home during the day, making interception easier before anyone notices. Hopefully everything proceeds according to plan, though who knows? I'll keep you posted.

Believe it or not, my new Holy Trainer V2 arrived today. I hoped for delivery sometime this week but wasn't expecting it quite yet—what a pleasant surprise. Naturally, I drove home from work at lunchtime upon receiving the notification and opened the box immediately. The packaging differed slightly from my original units; those had been inside fake books, whereas this came in a zippered plastic case—a nice touch. Inside lay my standard black tube, 40mm ring, keys and lock mechanism, plus the new anti-pullout finger add-on. First observation: the sheath material differs from my original black short one. That previous model was solid opaque black throughout; it felt slightly tacky but softened considerably when warm. The new unit resembles my old standard clear version more closely—material akin to a CB6000, likely acrylic-based—with a heavy tint that still allows light and objects to show through somewhat. It appears non-flexible so far. The base ring also looks different in material composition compared to the older style. Once I put it on, comfort levels matched my previous devices—a welcome feeling. The finger mechanism clips onto the top of the sheath and features rubber fingers pointing upward toward the apex to prevent pull-out. Because the clip adds thickness there, the internal diameter is slightly reduced in that zone, aiding stability further via the fingers themselves. The fingers can be trimmed if needed, but I left them untrimmed. With everything assembled, I headed back to work. (I did bring a key along just in case.) So far so good, though it hasn't been long; feels like an old friend returning. One notable difference: the feature that secures the tube within the ring seems tighter now, likely reducing much of the slop previously experienced between them. Perhaps because everything is new and unbroke-in? Time will tell. It also appears to point the tube straighter downward than before—though I suspect this may be all in my head since they probably haven't altered the molds. There is a distinct seam/parting line running down the inside of the tube, which might need sanding eventually. I am quite excited to be back in a device and plan to integrate it into daily life as a constant fixture. I'm not asking my wife for any specific participation; merely hoping she becomes accustomed to seeing me wear it regularly without issue. Most likely, I won't take it to work (as I currently do) or outside the bedroom much. My preference is evening and nighttime wear to control masturbation and prevent access entirely during those hours. She used to see it around before and didn't mind too much. The problem arose when she had to deal with me wearing it to bed while we tried interacting; that was where her reluctance showed. Previously, I would go days on end with it on—even having her carry the key on trips and sign envelopes across sealed spares to prove I hadn't unlocked. None of that worked out well and only seemed to bother her more. I'm not going down that road again—at least not for a long time.

I wore the new device from when I first put it on at lunchtime until I took a shower this morning, no issues, no discomfort. I was half expecting to be woken up during the night with a nocturnal erection, but was pleasantly surprised that never happened. I'm not sure if I'm just used to those feelings at night because of how much I use to wear the device (every night) before or maybe this new one with the new "Guardian" anti-pull out device stifled the erection before it could get going. As far as the Guardian goes, I like it. It seems to hold everything in place better so that the tip of my penis stays in the end of the tube and doesn't creep back like it use to from time to time. This makes urinating much easier since it seems that the urethra and tube are always lined up and against each other. It wasn't uncomfortable to wear, but it did leave some pretty good impressions in my skin when I took it off. From what I can tell, the fingers should rest up against the back of the "ridge" on the head of the shaft, and mine were a bit long so I trimmed them back. I still think they might be too long, but I don't want to take off too much. I also angled them so that the pointed end is resting against my shaft. They are rubber so it doesn't hurt, but I think it will sort of dig in when my shaft tries to shorten. We'll find out soon enough. I'm still just going to wear it in the evenings and nights at least for now, and I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of wearing it in view of my wife. Like I said, she seemed to become used to me wearing it and wouldn't think twice about seeing it in the bathroom when I would be showering. I feel I can probably pick up where I left off before.

I've been wearing the HT and Guardian for the last couple of evenings and nights with no issues. It seems that my body has picked up where I left off and has adjusted well. I haven't had much of an opportunity to interact with my wife while wearing it since we are currently on two different schedules work-wise, but I haven't gone out of my way to hide anything from her. In fact I have been keeping the key prominently laying on my nightstand so if she sees it she will understand that I am back being locked up at night. In a way I am looking forward to this coming Friday since we both have the day off. I know that her favorite time to fool around is in the morning so this would be my best chance to "expose" her to me wearing the device, even if I need to take it off so she can play with "her" penis. The only thing that make me a little concerned is that with the Guardian in place overnight I am somewhat sore when I take everything off in the morning. Those fingers really press into the top of my shaft and while things feel fine when I'm locked, as soon as I take it off I get really sore. I seems to go away after a half hour or so, and the deep impressions in my skin eventually disappear, so I'm hoping that over time my body will adjust accordingly. I may take the Guardian off on Thursday night and just use the device without it just in case. I really do love how the Guardian does keep everything down in the tube where it should be, and properly lined up.

Because of the soreness mentioned in my previous post, when I donned my device on Wednesday evening I decided to leave the Guardian out. I didn't want to cause any issues that would keep me from "possibly" having fun this coming weekend. My wife headed off to bed, and I followed soon after. When I got to bed she hadn't fallen asleep yet so I slipped into bed and snuggled in tight behind her. Because of our (her) crazy work schedule, she has been going to bed pretty early because of her early 4 am alarm. Last night she went to bed later so it worked out better for both of us. Nothing really happened, but we did settle into a nice spooning position and I could feel my device settle into the middle of her ass. I'm not sure if she could tell that it was my device that was nicely pressed in, but I have to figure that she felt "something" there. We would both adjust our position every now and then, but we stayed with me in tight and my arm over the top holding her in close for quite a while. I had forgotten how nice that feels, and my tube began to fill. It was a great feeling, and we drifted off to sleep. Morning came and she was already up and dressed when the alarm finally went off for me. I wandered around the house and we talked about everyday things for a while. She seemed to be in a happy mood and even showed off her new outfit to me. I've been encouraging her to buy some new outfits for work since she got her new job and she has taken that to heart. She looks great and has bought more business suits with skirts, which she never did before. Anyway, off she went and I did some work from home. I fought off the desire to watch a "few" porn videos on my laptop like I usually do because I'm trying to eliminate that as best I can and focus more on my wife. I have reason to believe that watching these ever more graphic videos have cause me to have performance issues in the bedroom. At any rate, did some work, got ready for work, and started my day. I did trim the Guardian fingers a little bit and made the decision to wear everything to work today. So far so good, but I can feel the slighted bit of discomfort starting so I may take it all off eventually. At one point I mentioned that I would probably only wear my device in the evenings and nights, and I think I may go back to that. There really is no reason for me to wear it to work, and it can sometimes leave me in some discomfort and concerned that people can tell (still). I left the key out last night but I'm not sure if she saw it or not. I'm really comfortable with where I am in my chastity journey right now.

Last night I put the HT back on before going to bed. In the middle of the night I woke to a really strong nocturnal erection. My penis was really trying to stretch out and the cage was having none of that. My balls were being pulled tight and I could feel the skin burning. While this is nothing new for me, and I am pretty use to it, what I was ready for was the pain from the Guardian. It was really intense, and I could feel the sharp fingers digging into my sensitive skin. Remind me to trim them more bluntly. It was the fingers and the base piece taking up all that room that was really bothering me. I layed there in bed waiting for the erection to subside, and when it did I made the decision to remove the Guardian for the rest of the night. I didn't want to be really sore in case there might be playtime with my wife in the morning. I removed it while laying there, and without completely removing the tube from my cock, and went back to sleep. In the morning there turned out to be no sex, but at least the pain had subsidded. I did notice that the penis had slid down in the tube more that it can with the Guardian, so from that standpoint it proved that the Guardian does it's job. I got up and eventually took my shower. I took my HT off, cleaned it, and put it on top of the shower door. As I was drying off my wife came in to shower. We chatted and then as she came over to get in the shower she noticed my device up above. She just said: "So you're using that again?" (asked in just a simple question manner) to which I simply replied "yes". That was it, nothing more, she got in the shower and we talked about normal things until I left with my device. She was in a good mood, and this didn't change anything. We even had a little bit of fun when she hurridly came into the bedroom with nothing but a towel on her head. At least now she knows, and everything is out in the open again. I think it will be fine for her to see me wearing it or when she feels it between the sheets. Life is good.

I was awaken on Saturday morning by the sight of my naked wife hurridly coming into out bedroom and across the floor to our bed, giggling the whole time. She hopped in bed and was facing me before I could say anything. "(our son's name) is up but he's in the living room watching tv" is the first thing she said. I haven't seen her like this in a long time. The first thing I thought of when we bagan to fool around was "crap, I'm locked, I wonder how this is going to play out, should I tell her or leave to go to the bathroom to take it off?". All these things were going thru my head as we both started to really get aroused. As we went along I could feel her knee come up under my balls and start rubbing them and moving them around. This continued up to my locked cock which she played with with her knee. At this point I assumed that she could feel the hardness of my device, so she must be ok with it. I was wrong. I felt her hand slide down to grab my penis, and then it grabbed my device. "eww, you have that on again?"......... "yeah, I didn't know this was going to happen this morning"..."well I didn't think I had to make an appointment"....."it's no big deal, I can take it off in like two seconds". With that I rolled to the edge of the bed and grabbed the key and was unlocked right away. I rolled back into bed and we continued on from there. She once again grabbed my penis and started stroking it. Eventually we both came, and we had PIV sex for the first time in quite some time. We finished and layed there in bed for quite a while. It was really nice. She never brought up the device situation from the morning, and our day went on as usual. I know she was grossed out at first, because for whatever reason the device really grosses her out, but at the same time I think it was good to show her that even though I might be locked, I can be unlocked right away for fun. I'm still hoping that over time she will stopped being turned off by the device and understand that it's not something I'm doing to keep from having sex with her. Maybe this showed her that.

Sunday was pretty uneventful, we were both busy doing this and that around the house. I decided to lock myself back up in the morning (after having worn it all night Saturday, but taking it off when I got up) because my wife and kids were leaving the house and I didn't want to be tempted to play with myself even though I had just had sex the morning before. At any rate, I wore it all day and all night, just taking it off to go to work on Monday. I must admit that I did sit in front of the pc for a while on Sunday surfing some milder porn, but I've really been trying to eliminate that all together. Baby steps I suppose. Monday evening I was once again alone at home, so I put it back on when I got home from work. I try not to wear it to work because I've found it to be too big of a distraction. So Monday evening I had it on, and did some surfing, but nothing too much. It was really hot in our house, so my balls were really hanging low all night. I've found that when this happens that they can actually get in the way when I pee sitting down and they can end up getting wet. Oh well. I went to bed a short time after my wife, so she was asleep when I got to bed. In the middle of the night I found her in the perfect spooning position, so I settled in nice and tight behind her with my device settling into the space between her cheeks. I couldn't really tell if it was more or less poking her at this point, but it sort of felt like it was and she was doing some readjusting of her position, so it very well may have been. We slept in that position for a long time, and when I awoke in the morning she was already up and showered. I got my coffee and by the time I got to the bathroom she was pretty much done getting ready and was just finishing up curling her hair. We chatted for a minute and then she left to get dressed. I was just about to strip down to get in the shower with my device when she left, so she wasn't able to see it on me which I had sort of been wanting to do. Just to get that done and over with. Instead I took my shower and put the pieces in the usual place, got out dried everything off an started getting ready myself before she came back in. Not much to report after that. On a side note, I did have some of the strongest erections I can remember having in a while last night. My penis was really straining and my balls were stretched to their limits. I had a pretty good burn going on the bottom of my sack as the skin was really being stretched. It had pushed my device far enough away from my body that I could get my entire hand wrapped around my shaft behind it. It was a little painful, not bad at all and only from the skin stretching, but yet I wanted it to last because it felt so good being that hard. Instead of rolling over on my back which seems to deflate things at a faster rate, I rolled over on my side/stomach and felt the hardness linger for a long time. I fell asleep in that postion, but was woken up a couple of more times throughout the night with more erections, although they were not nearly as strong as the first. I'm not sure if that's what was going on when I settled into the spooning position with my wife, but I remember being aroused from the feeling so I may have been in a semi-hard condition with her. I contimplated wearing the device to work but decided against it,being too much of a distraction. I plan on wearing it at night/evening whenever I can.

Last night and this morning were pretty typical for us, with the exception that there really wasn't any cuddling to speak of but there certainly were some pretty major nocturnal erections. It may be all in my head, but I swear I'm getting these major erections at night alot more than I have in a while, certainly since I decided to sleep locked again. Believe me, I'm certainly not complaining. It's nice to see just how hard and big I can still get (if only these translated into our intimate times) and they seem to be stretching my sack pretty well too. The pressure and "discomfort" is actually enjoyable as I wrote in my last entry, with only the occassional hot spot/skin stretching being the only painful part. I usually end up with one spot that feels like its on fire and is going to tear or something, but when that happens I simply moisturize that part and the pain goes away. My wife was up again before me, but I awoke while she was fiddling around in the bedroom at about 5 am. It was when I awoke this time that I doscovered that I was in the middle of a pretty serious erection and it would probably be best if I stayed in bed until the swelling went down. This took about 5 minutes or so, maybe longer, then I got up. I haven't used the Guardian Anti-pullout device in quite a while. WHile I liked the fact that it kept eveything in place, it seemed to take up too much room in the tube so when I did get erect it would be quite painful. Maybe that's the point but I really don't need that in the middle of the night. I've found that if I put my device on too early in the evening, then I tend to not want to do things with my family/kids in fear of someone bumping it, accidentally touching it, or whatever. This isn't a good situation so I've made the decision that I will either put it on when I go to bed or when the kids go to bed. Right now they stay up later that I do since school is out, so I'll need to put it on when I go to bed. My plan right now is to keep wearing it at night, and whenever I am alone and might get the urge to masturbate. I don't plan on wearing it to work again, or during any times when I wouldn't be masturbating anyway...like in public or with friends/family. There is no benefit to that. What's the point. I've been thinking about what device-wise is really turning my wife off. I'm not sure if it's the color (black), he style (enclosed), the material (bioresin), or just the idea of this thing encasing my penis. I know it's the device since she has told me that "it" turns her off and she doesn't want to know when I'm wearing "it" or to touch "it". She even said "eww..." the other morning when she accidentally grabbed it. I would like to try a Stainless device but I am a fan of the totally enclosed versions (Steelheart) and not the Jailbird type but am wondering if my cock was somewhat touchable and she could see it if that would be better. I'm not far enough along in this journey to worry about something like this, but it has crossed my mind.

I ended up posting a topic in General Chastity Chat about which kind of device would be less of a turn off for a wife/gf to see her man locked up in. So far the consensus has been some version of stainless. If you would like to add anything to the comments there, feel free. It's funny how different one night's sleep can be from the next night's. The night before last I was woken a couple of times with major major nocturnal erections, the kind that push the limits of the device. Last night I slept thru the night without ever waking up at all, and when I finally got up this morning I had no idea if indeed I had an erection while sleeping. Maybe I did and slept thru it and maybe I didn't have one. I've been doing this on and off long enough to know that my body won't adjust so fast that I would sleep thru a nocturnal without any discomfort after being waken the night before. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the body is unpredictable, and I have to believe that last night was just a quiet night as far as getting aroused goes. I've been doing pretty well on the "surfing the internet for things that turn me on" front, which I am finding gets easier with every passing day. Also, I haven't considered masturbating yet but it's only been a few days since my last PIV orgasm, so hopefully I can last a long time.

I had a fantastic weekend. On Friday, after completing our weekly mowing and yardwork and picking up my daughter from soccer practice, I came home to find my wife dressed for an evening out and asking me to get ready too. We headed out together and tried several new spots. She was in high spirits, appearing very loving and relaxed. I acted as the perfect gentleman—fetching whatever she needed, opening car doors for her, doing all those things I used to do when we were dating. It felt wonderful. Nothing major happened Friday night, which suited me fine because I believe it's important to enjoy such outings without feeling pressured that they must lead to something once we're home. She went to bed, and after putting my device back on, I did the same. Saturday morning came early for me; I woke up before her and took our daughter to soccer practice while letting my wife sleep in. By the time I returned she was already awake, so we began our day. We tackled typical weekend chores around the house, though neither of us felt particularly motivated. Eventually, we decided to take the kids somewhere they had been eager to visit, followed by dinner out for everyone. That evening, we stayed home after eating and then retired for the night. Naturally, I slipped into my Holy Trainer between the sheets. There was plenty of cuddling during the night, and it seemed like we both enjoyed it. Sunday morning arrived with us sleeping in as well. We were drifting in that half-awake state when I started feeling frisky while lying there. I began caressing her breasts and playing with her nipples—things she clearly loves. This continued for a bit, growing more intense before she announced, "I'm going to the bathroom," and rose from bed. It might seem like nothing special, but the way she said it was very matter-of-fact. For some reason, when she spoke those words, it felt like a hint: *'I’m stepping out for just a minute or two, so you know...'*. I believe her tone and emphasis conveyed this meaning. She knows I wear my HT every night, and since I place the key in a very visible spot on my nightstand where she can easily see it lying there, my immediate thought was that she wants me to unlock while she's gone. I should probably provide some context here; anyone following my Journey thread likely knows I’ve been dealing with performance issues in the bedroom for quite some time. To help improve things, I have stopped watching porn and locked myself up as much as possible to resist temptation. It has been a long time since I could get or maintain a good erection, and I suspect this is at least partly due to those factors mentioned above. Just before she got out of bed while I was still caressing her, I suddenly felt fullness in my device indicating an erection starting. As I touched her, I sensed it growing harder, though still restricted by the cage. When she said she would be back shortly—implying I needed to unlock—the question crossed my mind: *'How am I going to remove this thing now?'* While she was gone, I quickly grabbed the key and unlocked. This caused the ring and tube to separate due to pressure inside the tube, allowing me to slide the tube off easily. I had worried about removing the ring as well, but surprisingly, things remained pliable enough that it wasn't an issue. When she returned to the room, I was finished and back in bed. She climbed in, and we resumed where we left off. As things intensified, I knew her orgasm was approaching. Since she hadn’t initiated PIV sex myself, I decided to perform oral on her. It felt like half an hour of service; I could tell she had multiple orgasms as I watched her back arch and body convulse periodically. I remained hard throughout, leaking a fair amount of precum, loving every moment. Once I sensed she was done, I came up for air, and we lay there enjoying each other's presence. At that point, she reached over to play with my member. She stroked it gently, which felt great. It was wonderful knowing I had a hard cock ready for her pleasure after such a long time. She continued standing me while I lay on my back, and it became clear this was what she wanted: giving me a nice handjob so I could cum face down. I enjoyed the few minutes of stroking—a surprise in itself since I used to be hypersensitive and would finish almost instantly, often leaving us both disappointed. As she stroked harder during climax, followed by slower, easier strokes afterward, it felt excellent. I considered having her stop just before my release for a ruined orgasm but decided against disrupting such an intimate moment. We cleaned up and started our day, yet the rest of the morning brought smiles whenever I thought about what had happened that morning. I’m not certain if this is accurate, but I have reason to believe she noticed definite improvements in my performance compared to her usual expectations. Combined with knowing I normally wear the Holy Trainer at night, she may connect these dots: perhaps being locked in chastity contributed to better results. My abstinence from porn and consistent locking have led me to feel more affection toward her, refocusing on how sexy she is. If she has reached that conclusion, then I am quite confident she will no longer mind my lockup—at least this recent experience demonstrated the new, improved version of myself.

Although there hasn't been much to report since Sunday morning, I decided to write down my thoughts. I have worn my HT device almost every evening and night since purchasing it, and my body seems to be adapting well. Although I still wake up occasionally with an erection trying to escape, for the most part, I sleep soundly. Typically, I don't wear it during work hours or while out in public during the day, but today I decided to keep it on at the office. It is almost comforting knowing it is there; honestly, I hate taking it off just to go to work. Lately, I have noticed myself becoming much calmer and more relaxed, which seems to make the whole household feel similarly tranquil. I am unsure whether this stems from wearing the device, having sex twice in two weeks (which is quite rare for us), or something else entirely, but I can certainly sense it. Not long ago, I would be tense, anxious, and quick to irritability, yet that hasn't been my experience over the past few weeks. I think part of this change comes from becoming closer and more intimate with my wife even in our daily routines. She has never been particularly affectionate by nature, which caused issues before, but she seems to be softening up a bit now. Knowing that being locked at night encourages me to cuddle more—and that I love spooning with her—I know she appreciates this. It is amusing that I do these things even though she doesn't hold the key for me. I enjoy feeling the device settle into her backside as we spoon together, sensing her movement against it. I recall just over a week ago when preparing for sex, she saw my device and responded with an "eww... you have that thing on again?" (which is detailed in earlier posts), but this past weekend helped ease those feelings. I believe she knows I wear it nightly for the reasons I've previously stated. Furthermore, her comment about going to the bathroom before returning seemed like a subtle cue for me to unlock beforehand. Combining these events—the first time when I unlocked quickly for traditional PIV sex, and the second instance where I prepared while she left the room—has shown her that it isn't the restrictive contraption she initially feared. This seems especially true regarding our most recent encounter. After removing the device, I was completely focused on her pleasure without expecting anything in return. I remained hard and maintained my hardness while enjoying a long handjob from her. Knowing that making me feel good makes her happy too was certainly a win-win. It will be interesting to see how things develop moving forward. I plan to continue doing what works for me and observe where it leads. While expecting us to remain intimate three weekends in a row might be asking too much, my intuition suggests it may take some time before that happens again. On one hand, I am curious about enduring longer denial periods; on the other, these last two weekends have been very enjoyable. I am not forcing anything upon her at all. My goal is to keep wearing it as I do now and help her become more accustomed to seeing and feeling me in it. I believe she will continue adjusting to its presence and hopefully won't be turned off by it anymore, eventually becoming so familiar with it that she barely notices. That is really all I want right now.

This morning, when I woke up, my wife was already ready for work. By the time I prepared to shower, she had finished and stood in the bathroom curling her hair. Gathering my things, I took a deep breath—I am still wearing my device—and walked in. For some reason, I still feel slightly nervous about being near her while she sees my black Holy Trainer on me. She isn't yet used to seeing it, and I don't want to lose any ground we've gained by telling her she dislikes looking at it or finds it disgusting. Anyway, I entered, set down my items, and chatted briefly with her, mostly trying to break the ice. I removed the key from my pocket, stripped naked, stepped into the shower, and closed the door behind me. I'm not sure if she noticed anything since she was concentrating on herself in the mirror; I tried to act as casually as possible. Once inside, I took off the device, washed up, rinsed it thoroughly, and placed it high upon the shower door—ensuring it remained fully visible even if her gaze stayed fixed on our large bathroom mirror. To give credit where due, she said nothing, and we chatted a bit while I showered. When I emerged, she had finished and left, so I dried everything off and completed getting ready. She was in the bedroom finishing up when I walked in; I opened the nightstand drawer and put my device away. The rest of the morning proceeded normally, and we both headed to work. Perhaps I haven't given her enough credit. She seems to have accepted that I wear a chastity device without it negatively impacting our relationship. In fact, I believe it has contributed positively to our increased intimacy overall, something she may also be realizing. I wish to remain respectful and avoid pushing matters forward prematurely. Currently, I see no need for her to become my keyholder, nor do I desire 24/7 wear. Wearing it as much as I currently do suits me perfectly. Admittedly, I would enjoy some tease and denial while locked, or simply having her touch or play with the device, but that isn't critical right now. What matters most is that she acknowledges and accepts my usage of the device so we can both feel comfortable and relaxed in each other's presence while it is on. The more exposure she has to it (not *that* kind), the more desensitized she will become, making its presence seem natural.

This morning was rather amusing. When my alarm went off (my wife being already up and selecting clothes in our room), I experienced a serious nocturnal erection. It became so obvious that I had to turn off the alarm and climb back into bed to let the swelling subside. I am pleased to be experiencing these regularly, as I wasn't sure if they continued anymore; combined with previous instances of lacking an erection while fooling around with my wife, it gave me some concern. The last couple of weeks have left me feeling more positive about the situation. These nocturnal erections no longer seem uncomfortable, and I haven't been woken by them in quite a while. The one this morning occurred specifically because the alarm startled me awake. Anytime I wake mid-night with an erection, it is not painful at all; I can easily roll over and return to sleep. It must be that everything is adapting well, and my scrotum has stretched sufficiently so it isn't drawn up as tightly anymore. I performed my usual bathroom/shower routine this morning, but since my wife and I were on different schedules, we didn't have much interaction.

This past weekend was really busy. By the time my wife and I went to bed, we were both so exhausted that we simply fell asleep. While this meant our streak of fooling around on Sunday mornings ended at two weeks (not a huge loss), it ensured I would stay without an orgasm for at least another week. Next weekend involves traveling with the kids, so I am fairly certain nothing will happen then either. Sunday morning showed early signs of activity again, but these were cut short when the phone rang around 8:30 AM (usually a bad omen). It turned out to be a telemarketer. The interruption broke our mood, and we ended up getting up anyway, albeit with my locked cock leaking some precum. Although I still enjoy wearing my device, I am starting to feel it isn't entirely necessary at this stage. I don't really miss masturbating as much as I used to, and I have mostly stopped seeking out porn. It seems wise to keep wearing it just in case. Consequently, my view on the practice has shifted. Nowadays, it feels like part of my daily routine rather than something that turns me on inherently (as it did at the beginning). It is simply what I wear. I sometimes wonder if my wife even realizes I am wearing it every night despite it often pressing into her backside when we spoon. She does see it occasionally in the mornings, but there can be days between those sightings since our schedules don't always align perfectly. At times, I feel a bit silly wearing it because she seems to care little whether I do or not. Right now, I don't feel compelled to wear it for purely my own reasons either. However, I think I will continue doing so to maintain the momentum we have built regarding chastity. Additionally, practicing chastity appears to make me generally calmer, which is a significant benefit.

"A lot of things had been running through my head, as you might have read in my previous post here. We hadn't discussed me wearing the HT for quite a while, and I wasn't sure if she had forgotten about it or was simply ignoring it. Last night, as we were getting ready for bed, I finally brought up the subject. I can't recall the exact words that passed between us, but I started by saying: ME: "I'm hoping you'll become more comfortable with me wearing my device around you, because lately I've felt like I have to be secretive about it. It feels like I know you aren't really into it." HER: "You don't need to be sneaky; I know you wear it." That was a relief in itself, so we continued... ME: "Well, if I wear it then you might see it from time to time, and perhaps feel it while we're in bed." HER: "I know, I know you wear it." So to reiterate my point, I said..... ME: "You know that I wear it every night when I go to bed." HER: "Yes." She added, "I just don't like it when you're wearing it while we are fooling around." ME: "But you know I can take it off in about two seconds, so that shouldn't be a problem." HER: "True." Then I asked her if the color was an issue—if it wouldn't turn her off as much if it wasn't black. She said the color doesn't make a difference; 'it is what it is.' We then rolled over, with her in that lovely spooning position (which she seems to do quite often these days) and me tucked tightly behind her, my HT snuggled into her backside as we drifted off to sleep. I was pretty aroused and relieved after our conversation. It felt so nice knowing that she acknowledged she is well aware I wear the device nightly and is completely okay with it. When I cuddle in close, what she feels is the HT, not "my" penis. Mornings in the bathroom should no longer be a source of anxiety for me now, since she admits to seeing me wearing the device when I strip down, and that's fine by her. I know this seems like a small step, but I think it will make everything more 'normal' between us on a bigger scale and could eventually lead to us exploring further into chastity. For now, this is all I need. I love my wife so much for her patience and understanding. We have felt closer lately with more touching, caressing, and kissing. It's all good.

I guess one of the best outcomes from our little conversation last night was her calmness and that 'matter-of-fact' tone when she told me she knows full well I wear a chastity device and that it's okay. It has become part of our "normal" now, no big deal. Although she is still somewhat turned off by it to a certain extent, she is fine with me wearing it every night in bed and is okay with possibly seeing or feeling it at night. Obviously, she doesn't want it around when we are fooling around, but I am okay with that too. We don't always have PIV sex anyway; sometimes I don't cum at all and just make sure she's satisfied. I feel much calmer now and no longer feel like there must be something wrong with me. This is who I am, and my wife accepts it. I love her so much.

Last night my wife and I went out with some of her co-workers. At first she was going to go by herself but then told me she wanted me to join her. I'm not sure if that was because she would be having a beer or two there, or because she hates driving after dark, or both; it's also possible she simply wanted me to accompany her. It seems lately we've been very close—closer than we have in a long time—and it's great. At any rate, we went out and then came home. The kids were still up so we watched TV with them for a while before retiring for the night. I had already put the HT back on when we got home, so I also went straight to bed. We did our usual cuddling and then slept. About 3am I woke up with the usual nocturnal erection, but it wasn't uncomfortable or anything. In fact, it felt nice. I noticed that my wife was facing away from me, so I rolled over and settled into her backside. I could feel my erection pressing up against her butt—at least where I thought it was since I was still locked in my device and my sack was being stretched. It was a great feeling. While she was sleeping at first, she did wake enough to get a drink of water from the glass on her nightstand and then settle back in. This morning was uneventful as I got up before she did and left for work. I decided to leave my device on today since I was feeling particularly horny and didn't want any mistakes. We are going out of town later today through Monday, and I've been considering taking the device with us. However, since we will be in the same room as the kids, I think I'll leave it at home. There probably won't be much opportunity for fooling around anyway, so I'll have to rely on the honor system. I couldn't be happier with how things are going right now. We could be farther along than we are, but I am good with where we stand. I may suggest that my wife try a ruined orgasm at some point; I think it would be a nice fill-in between my actual orgasms. For what it's worth, it has been 12 days since my last orgasm (handjob) and 18 days since our last PIV. Pretty horny right now. I hope I can get through this weekend.

I survived the long holiday weekend without any slip-ups. We were busy most of the time and shared hotel rooms with our kids, so it was actually easier than I expected. We did our fair share of cuddling in bed and got some nice caressing going on, but didn't go much further than that for obvious reasons. I've noticed that my erections come quicker and are stronger compared to the almost non-existent ones I used to get in the past. I swear it takes only the slightest thing from my wife now to set me off. I have to believe this is a direct result of not watching porn anymore and wearing the device to stop any masturbation. When we finally got home last night, I put the device back on before going to bed. We were both exhausted, and it was really hot in the house, so nothing happened between us—just sleep. I did wake this morning with a nice hard erection which I had to let settle down before daring to get out of bed. I like those mornings; these days they seem to happen quite often. It has been 17 days now since my last orgasm, which was only a handjob but still felt good, so we'll have to see how far I go. My wife and I both have this coming Friday off from work, and the kids will be in school; it might lead to something, although it usually doesn't.

Well, sure enough, our Friday alone together turned out to be uneventful. We got up to get the kids off to school and then got right to work cleaning the house and doing other chores. It was fine really, and I wasn't that disappointed because it's happened before, so I knew what to expect. The rest of the weekend went pretty much the same, with only a little bit of play in the morning but then nothing else. My wife really didn't seem to be in the mood at all over the weekend, so it turned into me playing with her without much coming back the other way. On Friday during our house cleaning I was just wearing sweatpants, so it was very obvious that I was wearing my HT due to the unusual bumps and bulges in the front of them; she never mentioned anything. I'm sure she noticed as it was pretty obvious. On Saturday morning we had to get around because we all had places to be, so I went into the shower first and put my Holy Trainer up on the shower doors after cleaning them thoroughly—same as I always do. When I got out and dried off, starting to get ready, she walked in to take her shower. The parts of my HT were still there lying on the doors but it didn't seem to phase her at all. We were just chatting away; obviously she had seen them. I decided to leave them up there the whole time we were both in there to see if anyone mentioned them, but no one did. I'm taking this as a good sign that she is really comfortable with seeing it and being around it. Sunday morning is our traditional playtime; she tends to like fooling around in the mornings, and Sundays are our only mornings without having to be somewhere else. We layed in bed and I began to play with her, but I could tell she wasn't really in the mood. She let me play for a while, which got me pretty aroused, but then everything sort of fizzled out. One thing I noticed was that I leaked a considerable amount of precum. After putting on some underwear, it made quite a pool and actually leaked through to the front of my pants. Apparently, it had collected inside the HT, and when I stood up all of that leaked out. For whatever reason, I really find precum to be a turn-on—don't ask me why—and I have noticed producing much more these days. For those keeping score at home: it has been about 22 days since my last O (from an HJ) and 29 days since my last PIV session. I've been proud of myself for still abstaining from looking at porn and not having masturbated in a long time. On Saturday afternoon, when I was home alone, I ended up playing with my penis until it was nice and hard but then made myself stop before going too far, immediately locking myself back up. That was probably the furthest I've gone in a long while.

Last night I swear every time I woke up I had a nice full nocturnal erection going. They don't hurt at all; I end up just feeling very full down there. The Holy Trainer gets pulled away from my body and stretches my scrotum skin out until it holds everything in place, but I've noticed that my skin has apparently stretched enough so that it's no longer painful. It's quite a nice feeling to be honest; sometimes I can reach down and wrap my fist around the exposed base of the erection. The only issue at that point is that I can't lay on my stomach until things settle down, so I'm forced to lie on my back or side in the meantime. At those times I try to cuddle with my wife and find a nice warm soft place to rest my device while everything settles. I'm sure she can tell what's going on and has been known to adjust her position from time to time. I'm still working on getting her more used to being around the device. I've noticed that I am more relaxed wearing it around her now, not as concerned about her seeing or feeling it.

Last night and this morning I discovered that I'm still getting more frequent erections. I'm not sure if that has to do with the length of time since my last orgasm, or the fact that I've been careful not to play with my penis in any way, or that I stopped watching porn videos... but whatever it is, I certainly am not complaining. I woke this morning with the beginnings of one; as I got up and started getting around, it actually grew instead of going away. After I got out of the shower, I dried off the HT and decided to reassemble it. I placed it on the shelf in our bathroom where we keep coffee and such. I put the two pieces together so that it was sitting on the bottom of the base ring and on the bottom tip of the tube—just like it would be oriented while wearing it. It sat there next to my coffee cup as I went about shaving, brushing teeth, etc. It was around that time when my wife walked in and got ready to jump in the shower. She set her coffee on the other side of my device so the HT ended up between the two cups. The HT was placed pointing toward the door in a location where it was obvious. She didn't miss a beat and seemed to think nothing of it, going right about her business. I finished up and went to the bedroom to get dressed. She came into my side of the bed while I was getting my shoes on wearing just her robe. As she started rubbing my back, asking how I felt today since I had been under the weather Monday night. This was a nice gesture and unexpected; she isn't normally like that, especially in the morning when everyone is trying to get ready. It told me she thought I was feeling okay, so I stood up. She was wearing only her fuzzy robe and was obviously naked underneath. We took just a minute to touch and caress each other little before it was business as usual. One thing to note: she then got dressed in a nice skirt and blouse—something I have been encouraging her to wear more of since she looks so great in skirts. This is probably unrelated, but it's possible she wore this because she knows I like it. While I don't think the two things are related (the device being assembled on the shelf vs. her affection later), it was nice to see that the device doesn't appear to be an issue for her anymore and definitely doesn't detract from her feelings toward me. It is possible she is starting to see the benefits of me wearing the device since I am much more affectionate in bed now, cuddling a lot more with her. I think we are in a good place right now. She seems to accept the device and be comfortable being around it while having me wear it. I am cautiously optimistic that things will take the next step: her interacting with the device while it's on me, maybe even taking pleasure in teasing me while I'm wearing it. I think we are at a good place right now, with her seeming to accept the device and be comfortable being around it and having me wear it. I am cautiously optimistic that things will take the next step: her interacting with the device while it's on me, maybe even taking pleasure in teasing me while I'm wearing it.

Things appear to be 'looking up' for a possible future KH lock-up. Keep up the good work with your lock.

Thanks. I appreciate the feedback and the encouragement regarding my chastity journey. I write in this journal to document my journey; while it's sort of against the rules for others to comment, it is nice to hear words of encouragement and get other people's take on our current situation. I've been doing my very best to be patient and let the process progress naturally. It's very important to make sure she is okay with what is happening and that she feels comfortable with the situation. Right now, she seems very happy and content, well aware that I wear a chastity device.

> member_3deaf83d87 wrote: > Man that was a good read. Very detailed and heartfelt. You must be the most patient man in history. Not sure I could go that long. My journey is nothing like yours, but I just wanted to comment that your journey has been a wonderful read. I'm rooting for you man! Thanks. I appreciate that. It seems my patience might be paying off...

Man, that was a good read. Very detailed and heartfelt. You must be the most patient man in history; I'm not sure I could go that long. My journey is nothing like yours, but I just wanted to comment that your journey has been a wonderful read. I'm rooting for you, man!

Last night was a little different—nothing crazy, just different. The evening was pretty uneventful, but when we both went to bed at the same time, we immediately started making out. It felt strange in one aspect because we seemed to be on the same wavelength at exactly the same moment; yet in another way it was different because we generally don't make out very often. It was intense and passionate; we were really into each other. There wasn't much else going on besides that, which was also distinct. We did this for several minutes before simply settling in with each other and drifting off to sleep. I must say I was very turned on, considering pushing things a little further to see if I could possibly pleasure her orally; but I could tell it wasn't the right time for that yet. I was swollen inside my HT for sure. She knew this too and probably felt me against her. This morning was typical; she is in a good mood and seems quite happy. On one hand, I would have liked last night to go further; on the other, I'm glad it didn't so that I could show her she doesn't need to be concerned about things going beyond what she wants. She knew I was locked down, so things wouldn't go too far. That's a really nice feeling for me, and I am starting to think she likes it too.

Major Milestone This Weekend!!! My wife and I decided to go out on Friday night. We were planning on going to an event that was outside, while it was still warm out she surprisingly decided to wear a pair of her high heeled black boots. She knows that I love her in boots, so because it was warmer out than she likes when she wears them, I had to think she was doing it for my benefit. She even asked me if I preferred them inside or outside her jeans...wow. Anyway, we went out and had a great time, eventually coming home and just going to bed. I had been unlocked so I decided it was best for me to lock up and not risk masturbating. We both fell right to sleep. In the morning we both woke up at about the same time, I was laying in bed naked except for the Holy Trainer, and she had her pajamas on. This was the first time ever that I had been wearing my Holy Trainer while naked in bed with my wife, so I was thinking the whole time that I wasn't sure how that was going to be received by her. She got up and went to the bathroom, and when she returned she climbed into bed naked as well. It was obvious she was feeling horny, and I was too, so I made the decision to keep the HT on even though she has always hinted at or told me that I should take it off to fool around. This time, nothing. We started to kiss each other and it quickly escalated from there. I concentrated on her breasts since I know this is a real hot spot for her. She really enjoys having her breasts kissed and played with. She loves having them gently squeezed and fondled, and after a while she gets really going by having them more roughly handled almost like her being ravaged....I think I've mentioned that before in an earlier post. I could feel her getting more and more turned on, and I was too, even though I was still locked in the Trainer. It was obvious that she was enjoying just laying there and having me do all the "work", and that make it even hotter. I was essentially servicing my wife and wasn't expecting anything in return. As things got more intense I reached down and could tell she was getting pretty wet. I played with her wetness for a while before moving down to perform oral. I love going down on her, and now it seems to have become our usual way for her to reach climax without me having the opportunity to do so. I was down on her for the longest time, and would listen to her breathing and moans to make sure I wasn't taking her to climax too soon. When I felt she close I would stop and slide up her body to enjoy the rest of her before going back down again. This whole time my Holy Trainer was pressing into her body, and sliding around as I repositioned myself, so it was obvious to me that she must be feeling it and was ok with that. She has complained about it "scraping" her before when we've been intimate...not this time, although I was trying to be careful about it. On a side note, for as turned on as I was I wasn't trying to get hard in the tube which I felt was a little strange, but I was certainly leaking my fair share of pre-cum. This went on for a long time, bringing her to the edge and backing off. At one point I had slid back up so we were chest to chest and actually could tell that my Holy Trainer was rubbing against her vagina. I wasn't exactly sure what I should do at that point, but then I could feel that she was starting to grind against it. I think she was so turned on at that point that she would grind against anything, but I didn't want to venture into that realm of grinding my HT against her and end up souring things, so I moved off after a bit. I was really blown away by that, and it added to the intensity alot. I'm not sure if she knew she was doing that or not. It is a nice hard smooth surface to rub against so I wasn't concerned about it being painful or anything, but still. When I felt the time was right I went down on her and stayed there until she came. She had a very powerful orgasm and she was really thrusting her hips and trying not to make too much noise. I stayed right in there until it was over and I knew she was done. She tends to get ticklish there after she cums so when she let out a little giggle I knew that was it. I slid back up as we both embraced each other and I told her how much I love her. After a few minutes of laying there together we began to play again. Within a few minutes I was back down in an attempt to bring her to climax again. Since I hadn't cum I had alot of energy and was still ready to go. I was down there for a while, and she was starting to respond again to me pleasuring her, but then I could tell that it wasn't going to happen and that going any longer would probably not be appreciated by her, so I stopped. I came back up and we started to just enjoy each other when I felt her hand slide down between us. As I rolled away from her slightly I felt her hand reach down between my legs. She was actually reaching down there knowing I was locked in the Holy Trainer!!!! My mind was switching between "this is soooo hot" to "she knows I'm wearing it, right?" Sure enough her hand slipped down to the underside of my device and she started fondling my balls. I couldn't believe it! Here is my wife who at one time told me that the whole thing turned her off and she wanted nothing to do with it...now she is reaching down on her own and playing with the only part of my manhood that she could actually touch. I was so excited to reach this point. I was in heaven. It felt so good, and I slowly rolled over on my back to make it easier on her. She continued, and I allowed myself to enjoy it, This went on for a few minutes, but I never tried to get hard or obviously never came. When she felt that it had gone on long enough she simply got out of bed and put her pajamas back on. Leaving me laying there after she left. I was laying there thinking about what just happened. The rest of the weekend went on as usual, and she did seem especially tender toward me on a few occasions over the next couple of days. Sunday morning, which tends to be our usual "fooling around" morning was fairly uneventful, but it's worth noting that I was locked (of course) and began to initiate things in bed when she wasn't really responding, and then gave me the little pat of the hand (or little kiss, can't remember right now) and climbed out of bed and left to start the morning. This is worth noting that in the past she has always been concerned about making sure I cum when we make love, almost like it's her obligation as my wife to make sure I do and if I tell her that I don't want to cum (which I have done before as an attempt at orgasm denial) she seems hurt or offended. This past weekend she had one of the most intense orgasms she's had in a long time and knew that I was locked in my chastity device and even though she had gently played with my balls, that I didn't even come close to cumming....and she didn't seem to be that concerned about it. This is so hot. I know that in the past she would want me to unlock so she could either perform oral or give me a handjob, but now she got what she needed and was satisfied with that. She also isn't concerned about getting PIV sex anymore it seems, and is perfectly happy being orally satisfied. I still haven't cum yet, and it's been 29 days since I last did, and that was a HJ. One thing on Sunday afternoon, we had to get around and leave in the afternoon so I went in and took a shower. I made the decision to leave the Trainer on instead of taking it off for cleaning, so when I got out of the shower I was naked with just the HT on. While I was standing there she came in the bathroom with her usual "are you naked?". She saw me standing there and I assume noticed the device locked to me, and didn't bat an eye stripping down and hoping in the shower. We chatted some before I finished up and left. It was a great weekend!!!!

I need to point out that the dynamic between my wife and me seems to have genuinely shifted. It’s definitely positive, though pinning down exactly what it is has been tricky. We’ve always had a close bond, like most marriages experience their share of highs and lows. Since I embarked on this path with chastity, however, our connection feels deeper, and I find myself much easier to get along with. I appear calmer now and far less easily excited than in the past. When I first began experimenting with chastity, it was something I knew I truly wanted to try, but I was fairly certain my wife would never accept it—and indeed she didn’t initially. If you look back at my earlier blog posts, there was an instance a long time ago where she made her lack of interest very clear. More recently, after discarding (for the second time) my old devices and buying new ones, I tried again, and she repeated that same sentiment. To give some context on the equipment: I’ve tossed out a CB6000, several CB6000s, an HT V2 Standard, and an HT V2 Short. Right now, I’m wearing a Black HT V2 Standard with a 40mm ring. As you can see, I was quite conflicted at first. On one side, I wanted to be more involved in chastity; on the other, I felt like maybe there was something odd about me for wanting it so much. When I first brought it up to my wife, she seemed put off by it, which reinforced that feeling that perhaps there really was something wrong with me. I persisted anyway. Even after confronting her again about my desire to stay locked, I walked away with a "I don't mind you doing it, but keep your distance" attitude. You have to view that as a small victory on its own. From then on, I kept at it, exercising patience and communicating more when the moment felt right. She eventually moved into the stage of knowing I wear it and being okay with that, which later evolved into her accepting me wearing it every night. We’ve even had sex while locked up; she voluntarily interacted with my balls during this time—yes, touching the device (as noted in my previous post). She sees the device on me regularly now, feels it against her, and notices its presence almost daily. This represents a huge step for us, and I’m determined not to ruin it. I feel much more relaxed because everything is out in the open; there’s nothing left hidden. Previously, when I hadn't been released in a while, I had a tendency to become too clingy or smothering. Currently writing this, I haven’t cum since August 23rd, so my horniness is evident. I can tell I’m being slightly more needy in bed together, which means I have to monitor that behavior. This is what I wanted, after all, so it’s time for me to act accordingly. We cuddle and spoon much more now, we go to sleep at the same time rather than me staying up late, and we touch each other more frequently during the day. This physical closeness matters because she wasn’t naturally very affectionate—it was just how her upbringing shaped her behavior. For her to rub my back or hold my hand is a big deal for us now, and she’s doing these things more often. I suppose she is emerging from her shell and becoming more comfortable with her own sexuality.

**ONE MONTH** has passed since my last **orgasm**, marking a significant milestone. My testicles have grown quite large. Occasionally I leak some precum, but overall I feel capable of enduring for much longer and am looking forward to that extended period.

Hello once more... I’ve returned. It has been a long absence, but it feels good to be back. Here is a quick update. When I last posted here things were moving forward nicely (or so I believed), until the day my wife again declared that she didn’t want to be involved in the **chastity** aspect of our lives. Her aversion returned, and she really didn’t wish to have much to do with it anymore. I should have seen this coming. She has told me this before, perhaps once or twice by now. I realize that even though she was enjoying many of the benefits, she still preferred not to be an active participant in my **chastity** routine. So, I put everything away again and forgot about it for a while. Recently, however, the urge returned strong enough for me to retrieve the Holy Trainer and begin wearing it part-time. It seems this desire never fully leaves you; every time I think I’ve moved past it, it comes rushing back. I’m unsure how things will progress long-term, but I have decided not to view my wife through the lens of a keyholder anymore. This won’t be another contest about "how many days can I wear this thing." Instead, it is strictly part-time: no participation required from her end. It serves primarily as an arousal trigger for me and prevents masturbation. So, I started wearing it intermittently—sometimes for a day or two on, then off for a day or two. Mostly at night, but occasionally all day while working. I try to be discreet so my wife doesn’t get annoyed or surprised by its reappearance. The other morning, however, she did spot it resting on the shower door while I was washing up. She had entered the bathroom to put towels away and we were chatting through the glass. When she turned around with a thoughtful "hmmm," I knew she saw it. We continued talking as I gauged her mood afterward. She seemed perfectly fine, nothing unusual at all. I breathed easy, and we went about our day. It was Friday, which is an alternating off-day for us both, so we were home alone with plenty of tasks to tackle together before heading out later that afternoon (during which I remained free). Throughout the day, things felt smooth between us. Later on at the local mall while shopping, she began holding my hand as we walked—a rare occurrence from her. It might be coincidence, but it was lovely regardless. Upon finishing up our outing, she remarked how nice it was spending the day together and that she had enjoyed herself greatly. Hearing that meant a lot to me. Over the weekend, she remained in good spirits, often popping into the bedroom or bathroom while I dressed or showered with her asking if I were naked followed by laughter. There were occasional back rubs throughout those days, which is somewhat unusual for us. I suspect none of this behavior was directly caused by her seeing my device; mostly, I had forgotten about it myself. But when she performed these affectionate gestures, I would be pleasantly surprised and then recall that she saw the device earlier, wondering if there was a connection. For now, I wear it primarily at night. I don’t believe she has felt it physically despite us spooning more than usual recently. This morning followed our previous routine: washing the device and placing it on top of the shower door to dry. Although I don’t think she came in while I was inside, the bathroom door was open enough that her towel hung from the hook directly beneath where I placed my **chastity** gear. Whether this happened before or after I put it up there doesn't matter much; she remained cheerful this morning. I look forward to adding more entries to my journal. Thank you for reading.

Things are pretty much where they were last time I wrote here, which is pretty nice actually. Like I've said, I am approaching this latest session of **chastity** use a little differently. It's way more casual in that I am self locked and only lock up when I feel I need to, which is actually more and more, and it doesn't involve any participation on my wife's part. So far so good with this. I'm sure she knows I wear it on occasion, but I don't always have it on, so that probably makes it easier for her to go along with. One thing I tend to do is ramp up things too fast and push the envelope as to having her become more involved. I'm trying really hard to not do that this time, while also not hiding it from her. It's a bit of a balancing act actually. So while the situation between my wife an I remains pretty vanilla, I did make the decision to try for more successful prostate milking. This has always been something that's interested me and I find hot, so I've been doing it for a while with somewhat limited success. Not much in the way of flow, just a few dribbles, and I think that has a lot to do with the instrument I'm using. In order to try and get more to happen, I made the decision to buy a **dildo**. I went to the local adult store and bought a nice 5 1/2" version that is very realistic and comes with a suction cup on the base. I also bought lube because I'm sure I'll need plenty. I tried it out the very night I bought it after everyone had gone home with limited success. While I thought the 5 1/2" would not be an issue, I realize it's going to take some practice to get use to something that large. There was no success in the milking department, but overall I would have to say I know it's something I can work toward with this new toy. Eventually I would love to achieve a full **anal** **orgasm**, but I'm sue that's a long ways off. I think the next time I play I'll do it only when the house is empty as I was pretty nervous this time and would stop every time I heard a noise, even though I was in the bathroom with the door closed. We head out on vacation this Friday, so my HT will be staying home until we get back, which will be after 10 days. I'm not sure how much sex we'll be having since we are traveling with the kids and the accomodations might not be ideal, and then shortly after we get home my wife is going on a business trip for a few days. It might be a long February.

Alright, I'm back from holiday. We had a wonderful time, and being together as a family is always pleasant. Unfortunately that usually means no real opportunity for any intimacy between my wife and me. I left my Holy Trainer at home since I knew we'd be busy and I didn't want to risk someone (kids) seeing it in my suitcase or something. Anyway, we had a great time. Now it's back to the normal schedule. So after we had been home for a while and unpacked I couldn't resist anymore and put the HT on. It felt great to wear it again. I love the "bondage cuddle" as it's been called by others and enjoyed wearing it again. I knew I was exhausted from the travel, and was worried that if I kept it on all night I might not be able to sleep well enough, so in the evening I took it off and put it away. Later in the evening the whole family went to bed, except for me, and I found myself once again starting to pleasure myself. It had been a week since I had last cumed. The last time was from a bj from my wife, which is usually quite rare for her but the last two times I've cumed were from her giving me oral. At any rate, I was edging myself over and over when I knew if I kept doing it I would have an accidental **orgasm** so I finally quit. It was late and I was heading to bed, but at the last minute I decided to put the device back on for good measure. It was hard to put on since I was still somewhat swollen from edging but I managed to get it on and went to bed. A few hours later I woke up and discovered a wet patch in my underwear and got up to investigate. There was a wet spot about the size of a 50 cent piece that had gone thru my underwear and had gotten the inside of my pajama pants wet. It seemed to be precum as I didn't see anything other than liquid there, and the tip of my penis still had it there. I went back to bed and in the morning I didn't have anything additional but the original patch had now hardened, so not sure if it was cum or precum. I've never had an event like that wearing the device, but I have to believe it had something to do with edging myself just before going to bed.

The last few day have been pretty uneventful, which is actually an ok place to be. I've been wearing the HT more that not, so that's good, and am trying to get back to the point of not worrying about if she knows I'm wearing it again. This morning I waited until she had gone into the closet to pick out an outfit before I took the device and put it away instead of doing it while we were both facing each other and chatting. Last night I made a point to settle into her backside in traditional spooning fashion every time I felt her role over. I just love settling in close to her ass and wrapping an arm over her. Feeling her warmth and my cage rubbing into her. I could feel the blood flow increasing inside the cage, and some rising and falling of the device as I became more turned on. I have no idea if she felt the device or not, but I do know she enjoys being held like that, so that's all that matters. Today I'm going unlocked at work, mostly because of my choice of work clothes and for my situation there really isn't a need to be locked at work. Nights and evenings are really when it's important to eliminate the possibility of masturbating. As of this morning it's been 9 days since my last O.

I know my posts aren't all that exciting, especially compared to some on here, but it's good for me to be able to document my journey with **chastity**, the ups and the downs. Yesterday I was locked at work, and by the end of the day things had become somewhat uncomfortable, so shortly after I was home I removed the HT and put it away. We had a normal evening and as it started to get late my wife mentioned that she was tired and would be going to bed soon. I told her I was thinking the same thing to which she replied something like "you can't be tired yet, why don't you relax and stay up for a while", which was a little unusual but on the other hand she tends to be one to go to bed early and I'm not, so in a way I think her comment was based more on she not wanting me to go to bed just because she was going. Anyway, I found myself up alone after everyone went to bed, so I did what probably most guys would do, I got on the computer. I'm not sure if some of you know, but I've been having problems getting erections when intimate with my wife (without the device obviously) and have been working on correcting that. I'm pretty sure I don't have ED since I do get powerful erections at night and I've heard that's a way they might test for ED. At any rate, I've been doing more of a self-edging process of late and it really seems to be making a difference. I'll play with myself until I get hard and then stop, and will repeat the cycle over and over. It's not long before my erections are rock hard and throbbing with significant pre-cum showing up. I din't necessarily have to be watching anything sexy on tv or the internet, and have been making great strides not to watch as much porn on the computer. It can happen just using my imagination or whatever. As I said, I got on the computer and did some of my "training". As it got late I decided I better head for bed. I wasn't sure if I should self **lock** or not, but figured if it worked out then I would. As I went in the bedroom my wife was asleep. I tried to be quiet and turn on just enough light to see. She sort of woke up and asked what I was doing. Just coming to bed I told her and with that she rolled over. I got my device out, but putting it on would be tough until my swelling went down so I just put it aside. I woke up later and put it on and went back to sleep. This morning we were both in that zone between asleep and awake, and we settled into each other. It was nice and warm in bed and she had her back to me with her legs bent so I slid over and pressed my body into hers, pushing my crotch firmly into her ass. I wrapped my arm around her and held her close. It was great and I could tell she was enjoying it. I could feel myself getting hard in the device, and it felt great trying to extend it as it would make the cage rise and press more into her ass. I began to repeat this over and over, and I knew she had to feel it and most likely could feel that it was a hard material and could also probably feel the bulge of the lock. This went on for a while, and then the alarm went off. She got up and hit the snooze and came back to bed. We basically picked up where we left off. Eventually it went off again and this time I got up, shut it off, and came back to bed. As we lied there for a few more minutes in the same position, me still pulsating down below, she finally said "ok big guy, we should probably get up" and with that we got up. As I was getting up, I couldn't help but focus on the "big guy" comment. While it's probably innocent and meaningless, it might not be. Maybe she felt the device and knew what she was feeling, or maybe she thought it was just me. Either way is fine, but we've spooned like this before, and I don't remember a time in our 19 years of marriage that she's ever called me "big guy" like that. It was hot for sure, innocent or not.

nice to read your journey. Isn't it interesting how if you didn't come for a while spooning is fun and erotic. Can't remember it being that way when i used to do it myself 10x times a week.....

> member_25ceb4a98e wrote:nice to read your journey. > Isn't it interesting how if you didn't come for a while spooning is fun and erotic. Can't remember it being that way when i used to do it myself 10x times a week..... Exactly. I hadn't thought about it like that but yes, you're right. As I settled in spooning this morning I was certainly aroused, and she certainly could tell...:). I'm not sure that would have happened if I was still pleasuring myself like I use to.

So on Friday I made the choice to wear the HT to work, and then I met my wife for dinner after. It was a pretty uneventful evening, and then we went to bed with me still wearing the device. As we started to wake on Saturday we were settled into each other and it felt great, it was nice and warm in the bed and we wrapped up together. Usually if we are going to have sex we do it in the mornings on the weekends as we are generally too tired to do anything in the evenings. As we lied there together I began to play with her tits underneath her pj top. It felt great and I knew she was enjoying it as her nipples were becoming erect. She positioned herself so I had full access to both of her breasts and I took full advantage. This went on for quite a long time and she became more and more aroused. As things progressed I could feel her getting very wet. She was really becoming quite turned on, and stripped out of her pj bottoms. While all this was going on I was still locked in my HT, and could feel the erection trying to grow. Running thru my head was "does she know I'm locked?" "if she doesn't how will she react when she finds out?".... I decided to press on and before I knew it I had my face down between her thighs as she had made it obvious she wanted me to be down there. She loves oral **orgasm**s, and I love giving them to her. As I went to work her body was begging to arch and her breathing got more erratic. As I lied beside her I could feel her leg rubbing against my device, and I began to press it into her leg. I was really turned on at this point and made the decision to straddle her chest in the 69 position, comfortable that she had figured out I was wearing the device. At this angle I could really go to town on her, and I felt her playing with my balls and rubbing her hand along the area between my sack and my ass. It was super hot and she eventually came, with quite a lot of vocalizing and shuddering. I could tell she had cumed very hard, but I kept at it. I did this for a short while and then retreated into the laying next to her position. As we lied there she hesitantly reached down and felt for my device. Upon feeling it she pulled her hand back and said "I thought you were wearing that" which I replied yes. She wasn't disgusted or anything, but told me she didn't understand why I would wear it, and that she can't do anything with "it" since it's "in jail" and "closed for business". She told me that she didn't understand how she can have an **orgasm** and be done, that she could get up out of bed right now and be done, and that I was so turned on and don't want to cum. I explained that while I enjoy cuming I don't like the let down afterwards, and instead enjoy the feeling of being turned on instead. So wearing the device does that for me. I could tell she felt guilty for not being able to give me an **orgasm**, so I told her that she could still play with it and I might be able to cum (my mistake for saying that probably) and she said that can't happen because it's "closed for business". She seemed to understand the idea that I like the buildup to an **orgasm** without actually having one, and while she apparently felt bad about that, it was still a very good sign for me. She wasn't upset and we eventually got out of bed to start our day. We may have kissed, I don't remember now. We had a birthday party to go to so later in the morning she went to the bathroom to take a shower. I could hear the water running and when I heard it stop I grabbed my clothes and entered the bathroom. She was just climbing out of the shower as I came in and I stripped down to go in. All at once we were both standing there, her drying off and me wearing just my HT. I believe this is one of the only times I stood naked in front of her wearing my device. I usually try and be more secretive. We had been talking about something the whole time and the conversation never missed a beat. While her eyes never went down there I knew she had to know I was wearing it. I was facing her in plain sight. I proceeded to shower and she left. She as in an upbeat mood and seemed happy. As I finished my shower I was just coming out of the tub when the door swung open and she stuck her head in in a playful move. It's generally followed up with a "are you naked?" when she does this, and while she didn't ask that it was the same gesture. I saw her look at me, and then her eyes darted up to the top of the shower door where my freshly washed HT lay. She didn't skip a beat and came in, was in a fun mood and we finished up. One thing I noticed over the course of the day is that there was more hand holding as we walked to different places, and she would rub my back on occasion when we sat together. Everything just seemed to click, and she was dressed in a pretty sexy outfit for the things we had to go to. Saturday evening everyone was exhausted so the whole house went to bed early. In the morning I was again in the familiar position of laying against her. She got up and made coffee, let the dog out, and then came back to bed. Yay. I was locked in the HT and wondered if she knew and if I should press my luck and see if we could repeat the morning before. I began to play with her tits a little, and as I kept going she said softly "I'm going to be getting up in just a few minutes" which I understood as "this won't be happening right now" which was fine with me. I was trying for an erection, and I could feel some precum, but I gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her I loved her. She told me she loved me too and eventually climbed out of bed. I can't help but be excited at how our interaction went about my wearing a device. She actually wasn't turned off by the device itself and was only concerned that she wasn't able to make me cum which she felt guilty about. Hopefully she understands that it's something I want and will view it as such. She leaves tomorrow for a business trip and won't return until late Thursday, so I'll have to see how things go when she gets back. I'm guardingly optimistic that we've crossed another hurdle, and the fact she was very happy and loving the rest of the weekend was a huge plus.

One thing that I forgot to mention in my previous post was that while she was questioning why I would want to wear the device and not **orgasm**, I told her that the device was only a toy and that it was only something to play around with, that I could take it off anytime. I also explained that my wearing this won't prevent me from getting erections (when not wearing it obviously:)), and that I still get erections, she responded "oh, I know" which made me feel better. For a while I was having problems getting erections due to some sort of performance anxiety which I am hopefully over. I took this part of our conversation as a positive step.

That sounds really positive, that she wasn't upset with you having the device on. My Wife struggles with guilt in exactly the same way, but she has got to the point that she can now have guilt free **orgasm**s from oral sex whenever she wants. She still cannot deny me when we have PIV sex though, I'm hoping that will happen eventually. Just remember to take things slow. Think of your secrecy when wearing the device as more of a way of not making it obvious to your wife you have it on than trying to hide what you are doing sneakily. You are being secretive in a positive way. Keep posting, I am enjoying your journal.

Thanks Jasmic68 for the positive comments, it's nice to know that someone who has read my journal also thinks things are more positive for me these days. I also appreciate your comments about secrecy in a positive way, that's what I've been trying to do with all this is to not be all "in her face" about wearing the device or anything related to that. Don't make it obvious but also don't intentionally do things behind her back. In my opinion, if I treat it as a part of every day life and not something that only shows up when we're in bed or if I'm all turned on then she will come to accept it as such. A good case in point was just this morning, again it's nothing overly exciting and is very much vanilla, but can also be seen as a positive. We are getting ready to remodel our half bath and make it a full bath, so yesterday I spent some time tearing out the sink, medicine cabinet, and other things in preparation. It never occurred to me until this morning that that bathroom was where my wife would get ready in the mornings. She would shower in the full bath and then go in the half bath to do her hair, makeup, etc. Obviously now she can't do that so this morning she was still in the bathroom when I went in to shower. I was self locked again last night, so I knew there would be the chance for some interaction with her with me wearing the HT. I went in anyway figuring it's this sort of thing that is going to show me which way our situation is likely to go as far as me being in chastity. She will probably either come to accept it on some level or be repulsed by it. Anyway, I went in and she was doing her thing, but then remembered that she had to do something and left. I jumped in the shower, removed my HT and cleaned it up. I then put it up on the shower door and proceeded to take my shower. I heard the door open and close again, and she had come back in. She was blow drying her hair when I finished up and opened the door. I had placed the HT on top so it was in an obvious position so I'm sure she had seen it. She continued doing her thing as I dried off and put some clothes on, all the while with the HT in plain view. She once again left and I dried off the device and put it away. We were just chatting away about all sorts of things, mostly her upcoming trip, and she was obviously not offended or upset in the least. When she came back to the bathroom the device was out of sight, out of mind, so that may have helped as well. I drove her to the airport later and we kissed and said our normal goodbyes and off she went. Now while she's gone I have to be sure not to fall back on my old ways since I'll be having much more alone time. She'll be back late Thursday, so essentially Friday is my goal.

I was just going thru some other Journey entries and started to realize that my wife and I haven't had PIV sex since probably the first of the year or more. I wish I had written the date down last time we did, but I know for a fact that the only sex we've had since 1/24 has been oral. It's been well over a month to say the least. So, while it's normal for me being a chastity participant and wanting to please my wife without achieving orgasm myself, it is also something that I need to consider with respect to my wife. See, my wife has always enjoyed PIV sex with me, and seldom (if ever) would perform oral on me. I was always under the impression that she preferred PIV sex over oral, and maybe that's still the case, but it seemed to have morphed into her instead performing more oral on me. Like I said, the last few times she's brought me to orgasm have either been from a BJ or a HJ, but not PIV. I may just be rambling here, but I'm trying to figure out if there's a connection. It's almost as if maybe she was participating in PIV because she knew I liked it, but now with me being locked she seems to be happy receiving oral and then if I'm available (unlocked) either giving me a BJ or HJ. When we were in bed the other morning, and I had been playing with her tits and getting her wet, it was fairly obvious from her body language and gestures that she was encouraging me to go down on her. There was never a moment when I thought "maybe she wants me to enter her". It wasn't like she was forcing my head down there but more like making it easily accessible to my face, if that makes sense. She has always liked oral, but we both know that if I bring her to orgasm orally then that's it for her, she's done. She really isn't the kind to have several orgasms in different ways. At any rate, considering she wanted me to go down on her and bring her to orgasm, it would then make sense that she would have been perfectly happy to make me cum by either a BJ or a HJ....if at all. Also, she knew I was locked in the device, she claimed to have been unsure until she reached down and touched it, but remember I was in the 69 position with my ass and crotch practically in her face with her playing with my balls. She had to know I was locked and wouldn't be able to cum. She told me that at that moment (after she had cum and "discovered" I was locked) that she could just get up and out of bed and how that would leave me extremely turned on but unable to do anything about it. She told me that she didn't understand that (which I tried to explain to her as shown in my earlier posts) but when I told her essentially that was the point she didn't have issue with that and almost seemed to accept that. Could it be that she has become accustomed to receiving oral and achieving orgasm in that way, and if I'm available then she'll return the favor as either BJ or HJ? If not, oh well, at least she got what she wanted? If she no longer feels guilty because it's something I want then things could evolve even more.

I know that the rules are not to comment too often on a journal, to chat elsewhere, but I had to let you know about one of my experiences that very much echo what you have just written about. My Wife was struggling with why I didn't want to have an orgasm. She had accepted me wearing my device, but she just couldn't get her head around why I wanted to stay locked up for at least three weeks at a time, and hopefully at least double that. She felt guilty not letting me cum, even though I was begging her to do just that. One day we went out for a walk with our dog and I explained to her how when I have an orgasm it feels great as the pressure builds up, feels even better for a few seconds while I have the orgasm, feels ok for a few moments more and then fades away. I then explained how I felt when she had an orgasm, how excited I got, and how after three or four weeks of chastity I felt almost overwhelmed with intense feelings as she had her orgasm. The difference was this feeling went on for much, much longer. My entire body became hyper sensitive. And then, when I had an orgasm, those feelings just went, completely. I explained how I was much more turned on when I had been chaste than I ever was when I orgasmed, how I missed feeling like that when she made me have an orgasm. I still want the occasional orgasm, but I would much rather concentrate in her. This is when this chastity game clicked for her. We are still working out what our version looks like but as of today it is thirty days since my last orgasm and she is really enjoying how easy it is to get me going.

Yes, I know there are rules as well but I do appreciate your feedback. In the relationship between my wife and I currently I feel that she has somewhat accepted me wearing the device, I just need to take that parts slow. I'm not locked 24/7 and I'm still self locked, so in our case I need to treat it like something to spice up the marriage....a sex toy essentially and nothing more, at least for right now. I know for a fact that in the past I would take things too fast and all of a sudden she would get frustrated with the whole thing and that's when she would tell be that she's done with it and doesn't want to see it or deal with it any more. On Saturday morning when she had her intense orgasm (I know from experience that this one she had was very strong for her) and even though she acted like she wasn't entirely sure that I was locked but suspected it, that was a big step as far as I'm concerned. Both that she knew I was locked so she came orally without ever telling me she wanted me inside her, or demanding that I take the device off, and also that she was rubbing my device against the inside of her knee grinding it back and forth. I mean, her hands were playing with my balls right there in front of her face (which felt wonderful) so obviously she knew. All this in itself is incredible and I look at as a big step forward. But also this time is the first time she asked me why I was doing this to myself. Why I would give her this intense orgasm and leave her spent and satisfied while leaving myself all turned on with no release. This is the very first time she ever asked that, or showed that type of concern, which I suppose tells me that the only thing really holding her back is the guilt for not giving me a nice orgasm, be it a handjob or blowjob (blowjob) which would be the only way to give it to me at that point. I think I explained it to her in a good enough way that she understood. We wasn't upset I was wearing it or anything like that, just the question came up as to why. The very next day I initiated some foreplay and after a while she let me know (in a nice pleasant voice) that she would be getting up in just a few minutes, so obviously she wasn't interested in taking things further and possibly making me cum to make up for the morning before. And besides, with the orgasm she had the previous morning she is probably all set for quite a while. I think this shows me something.

Getting to the stage I'm at with my wife has been a long road, and I definitely don't want any set-backs, so I'm working on being consistent with what I do chastity-wise and taking it slow. When we're in bed I'm almost always the one who initiates the foreplay, even when locked. While she generally doesn't shy away from this, in fact it's not long after I get things started that she really begins to react, it is generally never her initiation. It's always been like this, and I'm ok with starting things, but I have to wonder if she's also thinking "why is he starting something when he's lock up?" If she is indeed thinking along these lines, then if she still goes along with the foreplay then maybe she's turned the corner and become more selfish....which would be a good thing. There are so many things to consider when you're self-locked, and I tend to over think things as you can all probably attest to, but I want her to enjoy "the game" and all it's benefits without being put-off by it. If she were my keyholder it would make my life much simpler. I wouldn't have to wonder if she is ok with it, or would rather have me unlocked, or whatever. It would be her decision. Sometimes I feel like I'm walking a tight rope. I am considering just being locked during the week, and free on the weekends. During the week she will see the device from time to time (especially with the bathroom situation), feel it at night, and become used to it that way. Since we only have sex on the weekends generally, I'll be free for whatever, and if she wants to play with "her penis" then it will be available. Really this would only mean free on Friday nights and Saturday nights, and locking back up for the day. The only other thing I thought might work is putting the key on a keyhook in the bedroom when I'm locked so she would know ahead of time what to expect, and could change my situation if she feels the need. I currently put it on my nightstand when I'm locked but that doesn't seem to be working. When she wants me inside her, she wants me inside her. No fooling around with a key or fumbling with a device. She tends to be very "in the moment". I do remember not that long ago that she told me before we were going to fool around that she was going into the bathroom and that she would be right back. Instead of taking the hint and unlocking I remained locked, much to her annoyance. Don't want that again.

So my wife is still on her business trip, returning tomorrow night. It will be great to be together again. I was thinking about how things went down (no pun intended) last weekend and how making sure she came in the way that she did brought me so much pleasure and left me completely turned on. I've been thinking how our brief but significant conversation went about me being locked up and unable to enjoy my own orgasm went, how she didn't understand that but instead of just going blank with an answer I was actually able to articulate words into an explanation essentially telling her I enjoyed giving more than receiving. I've been thinking about how she didn't react at all when faced with me standing naked in front of her wearing only my black HT. Didn't bat an eye. I've been thinking how sexy she looked when we were out and about going to the party, then stopping in at a casino, and then in the evening going out to dinner. My wife is pretty middle of the road as far as fashion goes, but this time she dressed in a classy but sexy way with tight black pants with high heeled black boots, a pink top and cute black blazer. I told her through out the day how sexy she looked. She even gave me some advise on what I should wear which I definitely followed. All these things have been in my head ever since, and every time I think about them I get all warm inside. As far as how to move forward in the device wearing department, I think I've settled on locking up at night during the week, being unlocked during the day for work and evenings, and then being unlocked from Friday evening until Sunday evening when the whole cycle starts again. I decided this due to various things, not the least of which is that I don't want my wife to get frustrated when she wants access to "her penis". Like I've said before, when she wants to play with it or feel it inside her it's an immediate need and if it's locked up then she gets upset/frustrated. The idea of me in chastity is not to frustrate my wife but rather frustrate me. I'm self locked and it's not fair to her to not have access to what she wants. I think also that by giving her access on the weekends and me being locked during the week, it will show her that this can work for both of us since we don't fool around during the week anyway. She doesn't appear to have an issue with me wearing it as long as it doesn't interfere with her fun. Another reason to just wear at night during the week and not during the day/evening is that I'm always aware that there is a pretty good bulge in the front of my pants when I wear the HT and it makes me stress to some degree about how best to hide it and wonder if anyone is noticing my bulge. I know it shouldn't matter, and most people will never notice or care, but it's always in the back of my mind. Combine that with evenings when I'm doing things with my kids and there's a real chance they could bang into "something hard" in the front of dad's pants when we're playing around. Another thing is that while I'm wearing it I tend to think about it too much, and that leads to horniness, which leads to surfing the web for things I really shouldn't be looking for in order to turn myself on more because I know I'm locked. It's like a self fulfilling cycle of arousal, and it isn't needed and consumes too much time. One last thing, I have noticed that my wife's apparent acceptance of me wearing my HT is something very special to me, and it has really deepened my love and respect for her. There is nothing sexier that having your wife accept your kinks and love you anyway, and there is also nothing better that bringing your wife intense pleasure without asking for anything in return. Hopefully in the future she will lose the guilt that I know she feels on some level for not returning the pleasure.

*deleted by cycling2work* as i clearly offended newbie - without wanting to. Good luck wiht your journey and congrats so far! - original message is quoted below.

> member_25ceb4a98e wrote:Newbie, > did you ever tell your wife that you started it to curb Masturbation? A difficult topic for sure but I am sure your wife noticed positive changes when you wear the device. Have you thought about completely opening up to her. Tell her you want to talk uninterrupted and then open up to the true motives. > Apart from the unsolicited advice above congratulations on advancing again and bringing her to accepting and in part understanding your desire for wearing the device!! Cycling2work, while in a way I appreciate feedback, I'm finding it difficult to not take offense to your post. To answer your question, yes, I have indeed told my wife that I started male chastity (chastity) to curb masturbation. That was quite a long time ago. I don't think it really applies anymore since I can't even remember the last time I masturbated, but that's besides the point. I find this "unsolicited advice" a bit presumptuous that I am hiding my "true motives" from my wife. My wife and I have a relationship based on honesty, and even though I can't always put into words what I am trying to communicate, there is no dishonesty or withholding information involved. We've had a good number of honest conversations on the subject and I've probably told her more than she cared to know. It's an evolutionary process and it takes time to sort everything out. While I appreciate the congratulations, the rest is really not at all what I'm looking for when I write in my journal. It is strictly for my own benefit.

"So for those keeping count, it’s been seventeen days since my last orgasm, and the past couple of days have felt like the hardest yet. My horniness has built up to a distracting level. Concentrating at work is tough, so I keep busying myself with tasks around the house, especially now that I’m unlocked most of the time except during sleep. I haven’t really felt the strong urge to masturbate, but I’ve been thinking about trying 'milking' to help manage these urges. In the past, whenever I tried it, I didn't have much luck. I've experimented with different toys hoping they would work better, but none of them gave me that milking sensation other people describe or show in online videos. Recently, I bought my first suction-base dildo because I suspected previous toys might not be large enough to press hard against my prostate. I planned to try it out on Friday when the house is quiet and I can take my time, but maybe I don't need to wait anymore. Last night, while locked, I went into the bathroom for a shower. Just before entering, I grabbed that 'toy' which has had some success in the past. Time was short since others needed the bathroom soon, but I thought a few minutes would work. The toy was lubricated and I started slowly. It felt great; I knew instantly when it hit my prostate because shivers ran through me. Wonderful! I moved the toy back and forth almost immediately. Quickly, I sensed that familiar pressure of fluid trying to escape my locked penis, and out it flowed onto the mirror below. I like using our handheld mirror since it provides a clear target so I can watch what happens with the opening of my Holy Trainer. As I kept up the motion, more came out. This time seemed different; more fluid exited than usual because normally only a few drops appear. I thought that if I became slightly 'aggressive'—speeding up and adding just a bit more pressure—I might get even better results. I adopted this approach and soon felt a new sensation: the desire to cum without any outside stimulation. I was still completely locked, having touched nothing—not my cage nor my sack. Everything hung there as I looked down into the mirror and saw a gob of 'cum' exit through the HT slot and drop onto it. More followed. Eventually, I felt finished and squeezed my muscles to get that last bit of urine out, just like when using the toilet properly. A small amount emerged one final time. Success at last!!! I’ve read blogs calling this the ultimate orgasm with shuddering etc., but I didn't feel that way myself. The best description is similar to finally relieving a full bladder: it feels good and brings relief, nothing more. The whole process took about five minutes. After cleaning up and showering, excitement bubbled up because it actually happened; I finally experienced it. Yet, simultaneously, guilt crept in for 'cheating' on my wife. My horniness had subsided somewhat pleasantly enough, but I expected to feel just a little less horny as described elsewhere. Because of this discrepancy, I worried slightly that I might have ruined my heightened arousal state and that when my wife returns tonight, she won't elicit the same response from me as before. Many thoughts were swirling in my head. Later, I headed to work and started my day when a phone call came through from my wife at her hotel. All my worries melted away hearing her sweet voice during our cheerful conversation. Her tone was loving; she said 'I love you' even before I could speak first—which is rare since usually I say it first or wait for her. I am eagerly awaiting her return tonight.:)"

"I strongly believe the coming days—or perhaps just next week—will mark a kind of culmination for our current state in this whole chastity matter. My wife returns late and rises early. Since it is Thursday night, I plan to stay locked all night and possibly through tomorrow as well, given that I have the day off. We will certainly be happy to see each other; besides cuddling and perhaps spooning, there won’t be much else going on physically. Because I am locked, she may become aware of it. Who knows. Friday will involve working around the house while my wife is at her job. I’ll handle normal cleaning and laundry plus work on the new bathroom setup. I intend to remove the device before she gets home since I want to establish the routine mentioned earlier. Thus, from Friday afternoon until Sunday evening, I will be free, giving her plenty of opportunity to play with 'her penis' if desired, while naturally taking charge as usual. On Sunday night, I’ll self-lock again so that by Monday morning—when we are forced to share our single bathroom—she is certain to notice I am locked up. I raise this because I feel part-time chastity is currently the best path for us. It shows her I’m not permanently trapped with my penis 'in jail' or 'closed for business,' as she noted last weekend, but rather that it remains available for her use according to her wishes. Conversely, she will realize during weekdays nights and mornings are reserved for locking up so I can perform on weekends if needed (no pun intended... again). Previously, the most frustrating aspect for her regarding my chastity was being locked when she wanted access for PIV or other activities. I believe she’ll accept me in chastity more readily if she knows she has access to what she needs precisely when she needs it. This dynamic should unfold over the next week, allowing us both a clearer understanding of where we stand afterwards."

"Just a quick update. I wore the HT all day Friday and removed it in the afternoon as planned. Later that evening, she was visibly tired from her trip and full workday; clearly heading straight to bed without much mood for frolicking, so I put the HT back on before retiring. In the morning we woke roughly together, just lying there. Apparently, I had a still-firm nocturnal erection which didn’t improve by laying next to my wife...:). Decided not to start foreplay immediately to observe her reaction. Usually when I initiate it leads to sex; if I don't, nothing happens. Since I am perfectly content postponing an orgasm for now—and knowing she just had one last Sunday—I suspected this morning wouldn’t be 'active'. Indeed, we lay there a while then got up to start the day. Currently still locked but will remove it shortly for our afternoon outing. I’ll leave it off today and tonight so that if she feels horny in the morning she has full access to her penis. By Sunday evening I foresee returning to the HT to resume my nightly wear schedule for the workweek."

"We returned home late Saturday night so everyone went pretty much straight to bed. My wife and I fell asleep quickly; before long it was morning. Lying awake, I rolled over toward her. She remained somewhat sleepy but we both draped an arm across each other, pulling closer together. Her face aligned with my level near her breasts—a sensation that felt wonderful—and down below I could feel the erection growing. As morning advanced, I couldn’t help initiating gentle play with her breasts and running hands along her body length. This soft interaction escalated into firmer breast play soon after. My wife adores having her breasts squeezed and nipples sucked; naturally things progressed there eventually. She removed top and pants; I followed suit until we were both naked against each other. Running my hand between her legs, she was extremely wet. Playing with her pussy while continuing to suck her breasts wasn’t long before licking combined with vigorous rubbing triggered an intense orgasm in her. Her body contorted back arching as a deep gasp escaped lips. Juices flowed abundantly soaking everything below. Meanwhile during my attention on her pleasure, she had been rubbing her leg against my unlocked cock which actually stopped being firm due to focusing entirely on giving pleasure. Once satisfied with herself, she reached over grabbed my penis and began stroking it. Being sensitive from locking combined with the sexually charged atmosphere brought me quickly to orgasm too. I never achieved an erection as I shot load onto stomach area. She got up fetched a towel then jumped shower myself. Lying there filled both pleasure anxiety having finally cummed after twenty days without; felt good yet bummed restart started anti-climactically ended so anticlimactically over without even erection proof limp penis layed spent had what it left clean mess. My wife appeared okay with everything somehow though I couldn’t help feeling wasn’t exactly hoped rest day went she mood good but myself sort funk apathetic toward almost things later afternoon started coming out my began feel like self again Tonight relock night plan doing so workweek On thing mention house Friday took opportunity try newly purchased dildo gave old college try not long before came conclusion just for me hoping serious prostate experience found did nothing thought first real milking session usual simple device won’t use dildo anymore unfortunate didn’t worked least tried. My wife seemed okay with everything, but in some way I couldn't help feeling it wasn't exactly what she had hoped for. The rest of the day started and she was in a good mood, but I was in some sort of a funk and felt apathetic toward just about everything. Later that afternoon I started to come out of my funk and began feeling like myself again. Tonight I will relock for the night and plan on doing so for the rest of the workweek. One thing I wanted to mention was that I had the house to myself on Friday so I took that opportunity to try my newly purchased dildo. I gave it the old "college try" but it wasn't long before I came to the conclusion that it just wasn't for me. I was hoping for a more serious prostate experience with it, but found it did nothing for that. I thought about how I had my first real milking session with my usual simple device and so I won't be using the dildo anymore. Its unfortunate that it didn't work, but at least I tried. My wife seemed okay with everything somehow though I couldn’t help feeling wasn’t exactly hoped rest day went she mood good but myself sort funk apathetic toward almost things later afternoon started coming out my began feel like self again Tonight relock night plan doing so workweek On thing mention house Friday took opportunity try newly purchased dildo gave old college try not long before came conclusion just for me hoping serious prostate experience found did nothing thought first real milking session usual simple device won’t use dildo anymore unfortunate didn’t worked least tried.

"I still can't shake this funk I've been in ever since the weekend. Our weekend was great and incredibly horny right up until Sunday morning's climax. Ever since then just feeling sort of blah about everything. Haven’t started feeling hornier again yet; actually lost desire/need to wear my chastity device anymore gone thru something like this before sure pass made point put device on every night bed keep routine moved store device when not use from nightstand workshop downstairs mainly did disturb wife night happens go bed before tend become annoyed turn light mess around opening drawer fiddling parts new location might work ideal time tell keeping As said haven’t felt putting although still do think important show wife locked week unlocked case needs way 'for show' since don’t feel need right morning she showered left went usual washed device set top shower drying stepping came walking finish eyes immediately spotted device parts laying didn’t seem phase went business think important demonstrate wearing device indeed unlocked available might want access stick seems working leads."

"I plan to follow Jasmic68’s lead and reduce intimate bedroom details focusing more on the how's/why's of our chastity journey. Like most couples with jobs kids hectic lives sex life took back seat schedules. Wife never really into having sex rare go month sessions dark days fought lack sex resulted masturbation happy say seems behind haven’t masturbated long time can’t say for sure has anything to do becoming involved in or not love intimacy seemed blossom seem much more relaxed open pleasured bedroom tend start marking calendar every session started keeping track about 5/6 weeks gone week hasn’t had orgasm all either thru oral using fingers one intense doesn’t miss PIV sex haven’t locked times when’m benefit HJ/oral point whatever reason whether/not wife enjoyed weekly orgasm seems matter gets there really enjoying oral receiving giving would never before quite satisfied over positions physically guides go down bed elevated level anticipation free/locked play done informed critical prefer cum feelings build foreign concept shown signs understanding point not feeling guilty giving pleasure like given Granted we’ve all map whole chastity concept pretty sure she cares device might putting up knows important tried make comfortable idea having something locked dock hopefully showed lives part becoming 600 pound gorilla room uncomfortable issue drive wedge know rambling post hopefully gives everyone reads better understanding wife an relationship especially ours with chastity."

"Surprised to see myself referenced early:D - hope you don’t think my earlier post about overtly sexual references not helping me was a complaint; just personal musings on changing tastes. Regarding masturbation I’m essentially 'cured' wanting do simple fact masturbating ruin feelings denied longer two/three weeks mess tempted took few days rampant hornyness started noticing takes considerably longer For instance last orgasm Sunday after 35 days denial ridiculously strong before touched back thighs bottom shared shower nearly collapse intense feelings After did thought hmmm nice Regarding feeling life lacks excitement chastity cured too closeness now feel Wife means week to week life treasure look forward Simple things gym shopping watching tv programs evening give lot pleasure think fact managing refocus attention wife effect having pretty damn amazing."

Jasmic68-Thanks for the post. Your Journey posts are about the only ones that I can really relate to. We seem to have the same perspective on chastity and how it affects us. Also, thanks for the encouragement. It's funny how I don't masturbate anymore, and I think it has everything to do with not wanting to ruin the feelings I develop the longer I go without orgasm. It's pretty amazing how the smallest gesture, the simplest thing can get me going now. Take this morning for instance. The alarm went off as usual and woke me from a sound sleep. For the first time in quite a while, I awoke with a major erection straining against my device and stretching my sack to it's fullest. It didn't hurt at all, and it just seemed pleasurable, so I got up and hit the snooze bar. As I settled back into bed, my wife was still laying there, I noticed that she was facing away from me so I settled into her backside. My erection began to go down and as I felt it deflate I could tell the device was moving across her butt and I couldn't help but think she had to be feeling that. The alarm went off again and this time she got up and turned it off. She told me that we only had about 5 minutes so we can't fall back asleep. This time she was facing me and we both wrapped an arm over each other, with my arm going under her top. I gently rubbed her back as we layed there and she rubbed mine. Eventually we had to get up, and start the day. She took a shower while I got the kids up, and then it was my turn. She was still in the bathroom, dressed already but doing her hair, etc. I walked in and stripped as we talked, still wearing the device. We chatted as I stepped into the shower, never skipping a beat. I removed and cleaned the device as I always do and put it up on top of the door. She was still there, blow drying her hair. I finished and stepped out, dried off and slipping my bottoms on. We chatted facing each other as I reached up, dried my device off, and put it in my pockets. No drama, no fanfare, just her and I enjoying each other's company with the device becoming more of our regular routine. I know I wasn't going to go into too much detail, and hopefully I didn't here, but it's important to me to demonstrate how our dynamic seems to have changed. How the littlest things with my wife mean so much to me now. How I love her for her patients and trying to understand things I do. How we seem to be closer and more in love somehow. There is more touching and intimacy now, much more than before, and it doesn't always have to lead to sex. Right now I am guardedly optimistic that she is beginning to see how chastity is improving our relationship with each other, and isn't some weird "kink of the month" that's only here for a short time.

Last night my wife and I went out for a while and came home relatively late (for us) so it wasn't long before we went to bed. I was able to lock up before we headed for bed. Nothing happened last night between my wife and I, but what was a little different was that I woke up a few times with nocturnal erections pushing my device away from my body. To be honest, it has been a while since I experienced these, and it was actually a really hot feeling. My base ring had stayed relatively put and only slid part way down my sack (probably due to me having not applied any lube to the ring before going to bed) so there was some skin stretching/burning going on for sure and with this restriction my shaft was forced to make a tight bend. This must have happened probably 3 or 4 times and felt great every time. This is encouraging to me because for the last few days I haven't been feeling particularly horny, but that seemed to change this morning. In fact I was in such a mood that I decided to re-lock after I got dressed for work which I don't normally do any more. I really felt the need to feel the device all day. Driving to work this morning, I started thinking about how I don't feel as much like "there must be something wrong with me" for wanting to be locked in a device. I've become more accepting of this myself and not as much like "why can't I just be like every other guy". In the past I have felt some shame for wearing it. But even more than this, I feel so much better that my wife appears to be more accepting of the whole chastity idea, and obviously knows I wear it on pretty regular basis. She accepts me for me and I couldn't be more in love with her for that. Add to this feeling the feelings that develop for her from being locked and I am a very happy husband, and she seems to be a very happy wife. I realize (boy do I ever) that this could all end tomorrow with her rejection of me being in chastity, but I'm enjoying what we have right now. Things seem to be different now, and I think it has at least a little to do with the fact that I'm not pushing it like I have before, and am not asking her to be involved in any way like I did previously. We've already been intimate in bed with me locked and her receiving a great orgasm which raised the question about why I want to be locked, which I explained best I could, and her seemingly understanding before she got out of bed feeling ok with not having to give me my own orgasm. That one act alone speaks volumes to where we are. And for the record, this the community website has really helped me sort things out and get other peoples point of view regarding chastity. It makes me feel more "normal" and not so alone in this journey. I probably wouldn't be where I am today regarding chastity without it. Actually WE wouldn't be where WE are today without it. Thanks.

Pretty uneventful weekend, no sex of any kind. I could tell early on that this weekend was going to be busy and the chances of fooling around were pretty slim. It worked out as I thought, so I ended up self-locking both Friday and Saturday nights even though I had previously stated here that the weekends would be unlocked. This weekend it just seemed like the thing to do, and I spend the majority of both Saturday and Sunday locked during the day as well. Last night I locked and we both went to bed. Nothing happened but we did a lot of cuddling, which was great. I also woke up a couple of times with nocturnal erections straining at my device, which seems to be happening more and more lately. I have been trying to go without any type of lube, either in the tube or around the base ring. So far so good and it seems that the base ring now tends to grip the bottom of my sack better so that when I do get those erections everything is more restrictive. This morning was our usual routine with my device in full view while I was in the shower, and then my wife came in and shared the bathroom with me. Obviously she saw everything so once again it was reinforced to her that I am indeed still wearing it. Neither one of us was very talkative, probably just tired, so I was trying not to read too much into that. I guess I tend to get paranoid that she is upset that she has to see this every day and that deep down she's sick of it, but I think we were both tired since later in the morning she was her usual self and gave me a kiss goodbye when she left. One of my concerns is that she'll feel that I wear it so I don't have to have sex with her, which obviously isn't the case, so I need to make sure she understands that. Also, I've noticed that I'm no longer turned on by just wearing the device like I used to be. Now it's just something that I do, but it makes it a little harder to keep doing it every day since I'm self locked. When we are in bed enjoying each other, I love the restriction between my legs and the pressure in the cage, and that's when it all starts to make sense again.

All day yesterday I was in another one of my "funks", and wasn't even entirely sure I wanted to continue down this chastity path. While I like the way it makes me feel, and more than that I love how my wife and I seem to get along better and be closer in bed, it's sometimes hard to stay the course when being self-locked and seemingly alone in the desire to be chaste. Because of this I decided I wouldn't lock up last night before going to bed. It was one of those self conscious times when I felt like an idiot for putting this thing on my parts and locking them in place. I mean, who does this sort of thing? I also have to keep in mind that as far as my wife knows, I might be the only person on the planet (exaggeration there) who is into this since I'm sure she has never researched this and I've never pointed her to any websites for more information. Not even this one, sorry to say, probably because even though there's some great information here there also seems to be some pretty far reaching and graphic entries that would probably do more harm than good for our situation. Anyway, we went to bed and I was indeed free. That all changed at about 1 AM, and I suddenly had this urge to lock up. All the parts are in a drawer next to my side of the bed so I can reach them while still in bed. I took them out of the drawer in the dark and started installing when I heard the distinctive thud of a HT tube hitting the carpet. I already had the base ring on so I wanted to keep going, but feeling around didn't find the tube. I actually had to get out of bed, turn on a little flashlight, and do a more extensive search. It was quite a scene I'm sure. I eventually discovered it about 3 feet under the bed. Figures. I got it and assembled everything and climbed back in bed. In the morning we were both tired so the snooze got hit a couple of times. I awoke with a pretty firm erection trying to get out. It felt great laying next to my wife, my hand under her PJ top and gently caressing her as we layed there in our now usual spooning position. The firmness of my HT was applying just the right amount of pressure against her ass, and I could stiffen it now and again for a little extra something so I knew she was probably feeling it. She seemed to enjoy laying there but eventually we knew we had to get up and start the day. I was so glad I made the decision to put the HT on last night. Typical morning stuff ensued, and it wasn't long before I was in the shower and she was in the bathroom getting ready. Another morning of seeing the HT all cleaned up and on display, but this time I felt much more relaxed and casual about it being there and her seeing it. As opposed to yesterday morning, we chatted away in a light hearted manner with me taking a towel and drying off my chastity parts. All in all it was a good morning, and I feel much better about things than I did yesterday. I'm glad I decided to lock up last night.

Last night I knew my wife wouldn't be home until late due to a planned event, so I self-locked before heading to bed. I sort of remember her coming to bed (I must have fallen asleep pretty quickly) and her cuddling up against me. It almost felt like she was getting a little frisky or rubbing up against my locked crotch or something, but I was too asleep to really grasp what was going on. I probably should have reciprocated but I never really woke up completely and drifted back to sleep. I awoke a couple of times again with a nice firm erection straining against my device. This seems to be the norm lately, which I really like. The alarm went off and she got out of bed. I lingered in bed for a few minutes and then got up. She was the first one in the shower and I sat down to watch the news. When she was done she came out and told me it was my turn. We have to get our showers out of the way and get out of the bathroom before the kids get up since we are down to one bathroom at the moment. I wandered into the bathroom to find her standing in there continuing to get ready. It was obvious that she was going to be a while so if I wanted to get in the shower I would have to strip down in front of her, device and all. I went ahead and stripped down as we chatted, and found myself standing there naked with only my Holy Trainer on. We continued to talk and she was telling me about things that went on at work the previous day, so I felt I needed to give her my full attention. I could tell as I stood there that I wasn't facing her directly but instead had my right side toward her. I think I was doing this to partially hide the device, so I then turned to face her directly. I grabbed my coffee and sipped it as she talked, all the while watching her eyes/expression to see if I could pick up on anything. Nothing. It was just like having any other normal conversation with her. It was awesome. I had the key in my hand, so I put it up on the shower door and climbed in when she was finished, still with my Holy Trainer in full view. One funny thing was that when I washed my device and went to put it up on the shower door I knocked a shampoo bottle over which knocked something else over on the shelf making quite a racket with my wife on the other side of the door probably wondering what was going on in there and then seeing my device get put up on the door. So much for subtlety. The rest of our morning went great. She was in a very good mood, kidding around and messing with the kids. She had a big day (ie stressful) at work coming up and it's supposed to be really warm and sunny this afternoon so I suggested she try to get home somewhat early so we could enjoy some wine on our deck. She thought that was a great idea so we'll see how that goes this afternoon. Fingers crossed. This morning really showed me something, as well as last night. She really seems to have accepted me wearing a chastity device and is no longer shocked/disgusted/frustrated/upset about me wearing it, like it has become a normal thing in our relationship. She sees it every day now, and now that can mean either on me or not. I think not pressuring her to participate or expecting her to do anything involving being a keyholder of sorts has taken the pressure off her and led to her acceptance. In the future I would love to have her involved more, but right now I'm perfectly happy where we are. Ecstatic really. I love my wife so much, and her acceptance of my "kink" makes ne love her even more.

For my second post of the day... This morning really got me thinking about where my wife and I are right now in our chastity journey, with her being so nonchalant about standing in front of me while I was naked and wearing my Black Holy Trainer in full view of her. It took me back to an old blog that I used to read once in a while, and it listed the different levels of "acceptance" that the partner might go thru when confronted with a kink such as chastity from their mate: •Total confusion •Shocked •Weirded out (may be as extreme as total revulsion) If the woman is moving to be GGG (good, giving, game) then •Laissez-faire •Cautiously curious •Grudging acceptance •Enthusiastic participant It seems that my wife an I were stuck in the top three stages for a long time. And there was a brief bright spot where we seemed to get to the fourth stage about 6 months to a year ago but it didn't last. The fourth stage (Laissez-faire) is described as “Okay, if you want to, but don’t ask me to be involved” in the article, and that seems to be where we are right now. This time it just feels different being there (here). She doesn't seem to mind me wearing it at all, never makes any comments about me wearing it or wanting me to stop wearing it, and has come to understand that I wear it pretty much every night now. Also, I haven't asked her to do anything with the key or be involved at all. She understands that I get more out of her pleasure than my own, and that I would rather bring her to orgasm than have an orgasm myself. That the build up is more fun for me. I guess to sum it up her mood is much much different this time compared to when we've been involved in chastity before. She was always on the verge of telling me to take it off and never wanting to see it again, while this time she doesn't seem to be annoyed by it and has seemingly come to accept it. She knows that her penis is always available if she wants it, but otherwise is "closed for business" as she put it.

Just another locked up night and pleasant morning with my wife. Lots of cuddling this morning before the alarm went off. This is starting to become so much more relaxed for both of us, and my wife seems to be especially comfortable with the whole thing.

Friday started off quietly at home since my wife and I were both off work, and the kids had a day from school. It seemed like there might be an opportunity for us to get intimate, but unfortunately she had somewhere to go that morning, so out she went, leaving me locked up and eager. In a way, it was quite appealing that she got up and about because I’d been teasing her a bit earlier, and she knew I was in the cage without it bothering her much. It was pretty sexy. While my wife was away, I tackled some tasks related to our bathroom remodel and kept the laundry going. Not exciting, but I like to think of it as doing something for her that saves her effort when she returns. I stayed locked nearly all day. Since everyone was exhausted on Friday night, we all went to bed early. Usually, when my wife is tired in the evenings, she just wants sleep, so we rarely hook up at night; we prefer morning intimacy. I recall mentioning before that I’d stay free on weekends to give her full access to her penis, but circumstances have shifted. It doesn’t feel quite right anymore since she seems more focused on being pleasured rather than doing the pleasing herself. So now I play it by ear regarding whether I’m locked over the weekend. On Saturday night, I was already in my cage when we snuggled up for sleep. As we lay there waking up, I wondered if I should make a move or wait. My dilemma is that she rarely initiates but responds quickly to foreplay from me. If I did nothing, likely nothing would happen—which might have been fine given how good I felt the previous morning—but playing with her is more enjoyable. I also worried she might expect me to be free and could get annoyed if I remained locked, denying her access. Being who I am, I decided to take charge since my horniness was peaking. Soon after, my hand slipped under her top as I played with her nipples and breasts. This continued for a while until she mentioned needing the bathroom and got out of bed. Previously, this signal meant I should be free when she returned, so that thought ran through my mind during her absence. I chose to stay locked and observe her reaction—a now-or-never moment. She came back into the bedroom, closed the door, and climbed in again. We resumed where we left off, with me focusing on her breasts. Without getting too graphic, I soon moved down between her legs and started giving her oral sex. By then, I was fairly sure she didn’t mind that I was locked; she seemed preoccupied with other things. She wore only her pajama top while I remained fully clothed, which should have signaled no PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex was anticipated. I brought her to a strong climax and continued for some time after. I was incredibly aroused, my cage feeling tight and strained. Once she had peaked and relaxed back down, I sat up, and we held each other for a bit. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she gave me the biggest squeeze in ages. It felt wonderful to be hugged like that, so I squeezed back and told her I loved her. She replied that she loved me too. She lingered there, enjoying the afterglow of her orgasm, before getting up and leaving the room. I lay there completely amazed by what had just happened. My wife had enjoyed a great climax fully aware that I was locked and unable to release my own pleasure, yet she showed no guilt at all. In fact, she seemed to delight in receiving without having to worry about reciprocating or making a mess. To me, this felt like a real milestone. It had been two weeks since my last orgasm—a quick handjob—and she didn’t comment on it later nor ask if I wanted another quick one. She simply got up and left the bedroom. So hot! I was so turned on that precum was leaking everywhere. Sunday morning passed without much incident, even though I remained locked from Friday night with only a cleaning break in between. We had errands to run, so we rose and prepared for the day. This morning brought us back to work and the usual shower routine. I unlocked myself in the shower and arranged the pieces on top where my wife could see them as she got ready. She was in high spirits, and we chatted while I dried off along with all my HT parts. No big deal... again:) Things have certainly moved forward more positively than I ever expected. It seems she is truly adapting to this setup, perhaps realizing that PIV sex isn’t necessary for her to achieve a wonderful orgasm. I feel closer to my wife now than I have in quite some time.

There hasn’t been much change on the chastity front; I’m still maintaining the routine of wearing it only at night. It’s becoming a natural part of our daily life, which reduces stress considerably. It has been an active week so far, resulting in less interaction between my wife and me, but we are getting along well enough with no concerns. As of today, I have gone 17 days since my last orgasm, which was just a quick hand job. I don’t think I even got hard during it, all things considered, so far so good. I’m not going too crazy yet. As you likely read in my previous post, her Sunday morning orgasm was quite intense, suggesting she is content to go without another one for a while. It might be two weeks before she feels ready again. To add to this, I think she may travel out of town on Saturday and return by Sunday evening. Since we generally have sex only over the weekends, there likely won’t be any action next weekend. The following weekend is Easter, and our family will be visiting relatives, so that probably won’t bring changes either. So it looks like nothing significant might happen until the weekend of April 2-3, which would put me around day 34—holy cow! In a way, I welcome this schedule as it tests my ability to stay chaste for such an extended period without cheating. This is especially challenging since I am unlocked during the daytime and won’t be wearing the cage when we travel over Easter weekend. I will keep everyone updated on how my body reacts.

Over the past few mornings, while we were still in bed (after hitting snooze a couple of times), I’ve been gently touching my wife. It’s nothing sexual; it’s just me letting her know I’m there and thinking about her. She responds a bit, but usually, I am the one to start things off. Granted, it is only 5:30 in the morning, so I don’t expect much, and honestly, I prefer keeping things as they are. Tomorrow will be a regular Saturday morning, and my wife is already looking forward to sleeping in. I have two questions for myself. First, "should I lock up tonight so that I am locked when we wake up?" And second, "should I initiate something in the morning or just let things happen naturally?" For the first part, I plan to lock myself before bed. By now, she has likely realized that if she wants an orgasm, I can provide one without using my penis. This is especially true considering last weekend: she had a very intense climax while I was still fully dressed, and she seemed REALLY happy with how it went afterward. I might be reaching the point where I don’t need to unlock unless she specifically asks me to take it off. We shall see. Regarding the second question, I think I will hold back from initiating and let things unfold on their own. Since I am always the one who initiates, I want to see if she steps up first. While I absolutely LOVE pleasing my wife and bringing her to climax, I also want to test this dynamic. If she does nothing and we just get out of bed, then our next realistic opportunity for intimacy would be April 2nd, which is quite a stretch for me. Actually, I am looking forward to going that long or even longer. By not initiating right away, I can better observe how often my wife wants to climax and what her overall feelings are toward me being locked up. The last time we were intimate (last weekend) left a strong impression on me. Although I initiated, it doesn’t take much to get her going. Once she started, she got turned on quickly and reached climax not long after. She was very aroused, which in turn really excited me. What struck me most was how relaxed she seemed and that she clearly knew: 1. I was fully dressed, and 2. I was likely locked since I wear the cage every night—and this didn’t bother her at all. It felt incredibly hot. This was also the first time she treated the situation like a normal part of our intimacy rather than something to work around. My chastity state did not affect her pleasure in the slightest, which seems to have been her biggest fear: that we couldn't have great sex if I was locked up. When it ended, she became very affectionate, giving me a big hug and holding me close next to her (something I don’t think she has ever done before). In contrast, after PIV sex, she usually puts on her robe and heads to the bathroom to clean herself while handing me a towel. It’s not exactly intimate. With this type of lovemaking, there is no cleanup required, so we can simply bask in the afterglow together. We told each other that we loved one another, which provided extra reassurance for me.

Last night was a bit difficult. It felt like every time I woke up, I either had a raging nocturnal erection or my penis would begin to swell with arousal while I lay there, causing it to fight against the cage. I can’t remember another night where I had so many hard-ons. One of the later ones was particularly intense, prompting me to get up and go to the bathroom. As I sat down to pee, I realized that the erection was so tight within my device—primarily at the base ring—that when I tried to urinate, the stream got stuck just before the ring. This caused a fair amount of pain and discomfort, along with a brief moment of fear that something might burst. I had to relax as much as possible and wait for the swelling to go down. Within minutes, I could hear the urine hitting the toilet bowl. It was a bit of late-night drama. In the morning, we slept in and found ourselves lying together. I decided not to initiate anything with my wife to see where it would lead, and indeed, it didn’t go anywhere further than that. I rolled over to face her and wrapped my arm around her subtly, hoping to kickstart something. It didn’t happen, so I stopped. We lay there a while longer as she mentioned the coffee should be ready and talked about all the things she wanted to accomplish before leaving with my daughter. We kissed and got out of bed. Before we rose completely, I rolled her slightly toward me and felt her knee come up and hit my device. I’m not sure if she realized what happened or if she simply didn’t feel it, as there was no indication from her. Anyway, we went upstairs to start the day. She will be gone until Sunday evening, so I need to behave well enough to avoid any "accidents," which won't be easy.

I successfully avoided accidents over the weekend while my wife was away. Keeping myself occupied definitely helped. She arrived home late on Sunday, so we just went to bed and started our week. Monday and Tuesday passed without incident, except that I wore the HT almost constantly. I only removed it for cleaning on Tuesday morning before putting it right back on. Wednesday morning brought a strong erection upon waking, which was pulling quite hard on the skin under my sac. It hurt a little since I no longer use any lube and apply the tube using the stocking method. As I lay there waiting for the pressure to subside, my wife got up and went to the bathroom, then returned to bed. Sometimes when she does this, it is in anticipation of us fooling around so that she doesn’t have to get up mid-activity. When she came back, my pressure had gone down, and I rolled over to snuggle with her. For some reason, I almost immediately began initiating foreplay—something I’ve been hesitant to do recently to see if she would initiate instead. I was actually fairly aggressive for me, fondling her breast in an increasingly forceful manner. She responded almost instantly, lifting her top and stripping off her pajama pants and underwear within a few minutes. It became clear she wanted me to go down on her, so I happily obliged. Just as I got started, I could tell she was nearing climax. One of the quicker ones in a while hit suddenly. It seemed strong, followed by her becoming very ticklish (which happens occasionally). I came back up and we lay there together; she looked happy and relaxed. We stayed in each other’s arms for a few more minutes before deciding it was time to rise. For the second consecutive instance, I remained locked and clothed while she enjoyed another orgasm. It felt great even though she doesn’t reciprocate physically. Neither time did she reach down to play with me directly, but she does gently touch other parts of my body. I am still very happy with how things are going; she seems to be really enjoying herself. There may come a day when she wants (or needs) me unlocked, but right now, she appears content with the current arrangement. By the way, we rarely fool around in the mornings during the workweek—it’s usually on weekends—so this was quite different. Also, since we are traveling to her sister's house for the holiday, I think I will stay unlocked over the weekend to avoid being discovered but plan to resume locking up next week, especially now that I know she’ll be working away from home for three days. I am also starting to consider the next step. We seem to be doing fine with everything currently, but I wonder if she would agree to hold my key again. In the past, she was supposed to keep it but ended up forgetting she had it, so it never quite worked out properly. She also showed little interest in being involved back then, and she might feel the same way now. It is something I will need to ponder before approaching her with the idea.

I have just caught up on your recent posts and found them very enjoyable reading. You are a refreshing change from the many men I read about who rush headlong into convincing their wives and partners to become Keyholders, only to get upset when things go wrong. Your quiet, calm, and measured approach really does stand out. I hope it develops nicely for you; at least your method hasn't resulted in a completely negative response from your wife.

> member_fdb08c9cfe wrote:I have just caught up with your recent posts and it all makes really good reading. You are a nice change from all the guys I read about who rush headlong into trying to convince their wives and partners to be the Keyholder and get upset when it goes wrong. Your quiet, calm and measured approach really does make a nice change. I hope it ends up developing for you but at least your approach has not seen a completely negative approach from your wife. Thanks, I appreciate your feedback as always. Supposing I've picked up lessons from my errors; back in the day I would have shoved things forward much more aggressively and probably ruined everything by now. By taking it easy and waiting patiently, I've reached a spot I'd never been to before, and I'm really enjoying it. My wife deserves plenty of credit too. She could easily tell me to stop at any moment, put the device away for good, which is basically what happened previously. This time around she's gone along with my "kink" and, in my view, accepted it as part of who I am and what brings me joy. While she might not fully grasp the concept yet, she has realized she can get pleasure and achieve some truly deep orgasms without PIV sex, which goes against her long-held beliefs. Plus, I think she's starting to see that she doesn't have to reciprocate in any specific way; she can just relax and enjoy herself. There is no pressure for her to perform oral or give a handjob, nor does she need to let me penetrate her. Honestly, there isn't the usual mess afterward that demands immediate attention. Now that only I am receiving oral stimulation, we are able to bond right after and soak in our affection for each other, something that didn't used to happen because it was always rush out and grab a towel. As mentioned before, we have both progressed significantly. My main hope is that she further accepts my choice to stay chaste and becomes more actively involved. For those keeping track at home, it's been 25 days since my last orgasm (handjob) and my wife has had two since then so we're on a 3 to 1 ratio right now.

So I officially hit one month without an orgasm as of yesterday. Hooray for me. Things went about as planned since my last entry. My wife was out of town the weekend before Easter, and then our whole family went to my sister-in-laws house from Thursday until Sunday evening so nothing happened either of those two weekends. I did manage to give my wife a nice orgasm on the 23rd so I know she is doing just fine in that area, but she is probably due for another one pretty soon so I'll be more than happy to oblige. I'm still keeping an eye on our situation and looking for any clues that my wife isn't enjoying this but so far I haven't seen anything. She seems particularly happy and I really honestly feel that she is enjoying receiving many orgasms while mine are none. Since we have switched over to only her receiving oral satisfaction she seems to be more open to fooling around more frequently. Like I stated above, I was actually able to have sex with her on a weekday morning at like 5 o'clock in the morning. We fooled around and I went down on her, and she really enjoyed it. It wasn't that long ago that this never would have happened, both doing it on a weekday morning and then laying there in each others arms afterward. She really seemed relaxed and content, just laying there and gently stroking my arm. I've been wearing it every night except when we were out of town for the weekend, but then Sunday morning I went right back in. She's obviously very used to seeing it laying around in the morning so that's no longer an issue at all. I might start wearing it 24/7 but I think I'll get a new device before I do that. I'm currently in a HT Version 2 standard tube which is fine, but I think I want something smaller, more discrete, and more restrictive. I'm leaning toward getting a Steelworxx Steelheart because I prefer the enclosed style over a cage, and I especially like the smooth exterior. I'l have to start taking some measurements in the flaccid state to make sure I get the right length and diameter. I'm currently in a 40 mm ring so I think I'll go with that again. Anyway, I'll figure out what's right for me and get one on order. My wife left this morning for California and will be returning on the 31st, so there won't be any fooling around this week, but maybe this coming weekend, so that means I need to be diligent and not submit to my desire to masturbate which means I'll most likely stay locked up until she returns. I wish there was more to report, but right now things are remaining steady in the chastity sense. She is well aware that I am generally always locked when we're together, and she has allowed herself to enjoy as many orgasms as she wants...guilt free, and THAT is the greatest turn on for me that I could ever ask for.

I was looking at the calendar earlier and I noticed that I've only had one orgasm (a hand job where I wasn't even hard and it didn't last very long) since February 8th. So then counting today would be the 51st day with one orgasm back on the 28th. I know there's alot of math there and most people couldn't care less, but I wanted to write this down as I feel this has to be my longest stretch of any kind. My wife has had four in the same stretch, which to be honest is a lot more orgasms for that length of time than she would normally have. Like I've explained a bunch of times in previous posts, my wife could go for long periods of time without feeling the need for sex, and I could never really put my finger on why. When we did finally have it it would be great and we both enjoyed it, but for the most part it was something she could live without. I believe she just had a low libido and it wasn't that important to her. Now when I initiate foreplay (she still isn't there yet) she seems to respond much more and quicker, and really seems to enjoy just being able to receive pleasure without having to really do anything in return. I've noticed that she is very quick to pull her top up so I have full access to her lovely breasts, but more than that she seems to quickly pull her pj bottoms off in anticipation of what is coming. In fact when I change positions to be more on top of her while enjoying her breasts, she will usually pull the sheets up over my head in a way that tells me she wants me to slide down her to give her oral. She never expresses any concern of need for me to take off my clothes even though she is obviously aware that I am still fully dressed sometimes. There is no guilt, she is just "in the moment" and is focused on her own pleasure. Sometimes I do strip down but even then there isn't any reciprocation. When it's over, and the shuddering and gasping of the orgasm has passed, she settles into a loving and caring relaxed woman who wants to hold me tightly in her arms and snuggle in close. That is my most favorite place to be, and we can just lay there for a long time. As I lay there I can get a real sense of her happiness and post orgasm euphoria while all the while understanding that the sex part is over and there will not be any type of sexual reciprocation from her toward me. She's done, and when she decides she's done laying there with me she will just get up and get dressed, leaving me laying there completely turned on without any means of relieving it. At that time I realize that she is giving me exactly what I asked for, and that she is really starting to get into the benefits of having me in chastity. I really hope we continue down this road, and am certainly very thankful that I have a wife who is willing to give this a chance.

Last night my wife and I went out to watch the Final Four with some friends and had a great time. we got home late and immediately headed to bed. Once we climbed in bed we both started in on some great foreplay. As things got more and more heated we both quickly stripped down naked. Now keep in mind, I had been locked all day so I was still locked when we climbed in bed. I began playing with her breasts and she really began getting into it. I then proceeded to play with her pussy and before long she was very wet. I slid down her body and began giving her oral, while my body was perpendicular to hers. All of a sudden I felt her hand slide down between my legs and start playing with my balls. I was a little shocked as she has pretty much never played with me while I was locked up. This continued with me going down on her and her hand playing with my balls, even putting her fingers underneath my base ring and rubbing my sac. I turned to straddle her body so we were in a 69 position and we both continued playing with each other. This went on for quite a while until I decided that I wanted her to sit on my face. This is something that we really never do, having her sit on my face and rubbing her wet pussy all over me, but sure enough I rolled over and moved her around to where she was doing just that. I was really gyrating by then and she was sliding up and down my face, in fact she was pressing so hard she was making it impossible for me to breath. I haven't seen her this turned on in a long time. Things continued and she was reaching behind her playing with my balls/device when she blurted out "take that off and f*ck me!", and then she said it again as she was climbing off me. I have to admit it really surprised me and I immediately reached over to my nightstand and started feeling around for the key. I swear I was grabbing everything BUT that, but I eventually found it. I knew if I didn't get my device off soon she would lose her patients and probably tell me to get rid of that stupid thing like she has before. I think she told me to take is off so I could f*ck her one more time while I was frantically trying to get my device off. It wasn't hard to get off because..... I wasn't hard. I was very in-the-moment pleasing her and that combined with going out and having some cocktails left me with a very limp dick once the device came off. She immediately grabbed it, and realizing it was soft began stroking it with a vengeance. In my defense my wife has never been one for subtlety, and instead of a nice gentle stroking she tends to be too aggressive for me to become erect. But regardless, there was just no way I was getting hard. I tried thinking of things that really turn me on but in doing that it just made me feel like I wanted to cum. Now up until last night I hadn't had an orgasm for 1 month and 5 days, so before I knew it I was cumming all over my stomach as she continued to give me a hand job. When she finished she climbed out of bed and went to get a towel for me to clean up. We cleaned everything up and she got dressed in her pjs again and slid into bed to sleep. I stayed naked and unlocked for the remainder of the night and in the morning I locked back up and got dressed. There was no more fooling around in the morning, and I was trying to get a feel for her mood, and found that she seemed her normal upbeat self. As the day moved along she seemed perfectly fine and we hugged and kissed each other throughout the day. Looking back on what happened, I think this was a major milestone in our journey even though I couldn't perform at all the way she wanted. She actually was playing with my balls knowing I was liking it and knowing she couldn't play with "her" penis. That in itself was huge for us, but even bigger was when she said in an almost demanding tone for me to "take it off and f*ck me!"..... I mean WOW, I think that is exactly what I always wanted to hear from my wife. She was aware that I was locked and having sex with her, she was playing with my locked cock and balls, and then told me to unlock and f*ck her. I still can't believe she said that to me, and of course I really wish I could have done what she told me to do, but I also know that she had at least a couple of orgasms while I was playing with her and going down on her. It's also great to know that she is well aware that I am locked almost all the time around her and it doesn't bother her anymore. Before we went out I was getting out of the shower and I saw her glance up at the device as she walked in...completely unfazed. I do want her to realize that it wasn't the device that made me limp as it tends to be alcohol that relaxes me to the point that I can't get hard. I think we'll talk about that tonight, and I might request a do-over.:) Besides that I couldn't be happier with how things went, and it seems like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

One of my favorite things is when I'm bringing my wife to climax and she grabs my balls and starts squeezing and pulling on them.

Actually the device might have something to do do with why you stayed flaccid. My Wife has learnt that if she wants me inside her then she has to give me a good half hour after she has released me before I can get an erection. That is fine as we just carry on with the foreplay and it has even helped me stay chaste as she cums so quickly. This is the one area of chastity that she is concerned about though as it removes any chance of complete spontaneity. It is a bit confusing though as before she removes the device I can be rock solid in the root of my penis, so you would think this would easily turn into a full raging erection. But it doesn't. I have no idea why.

> member_fdb08c9cfe wrote: > Actually the device might have something to do do with why you stayed flaccid. My Wife has learnt that if she wants me inside her then she has to give me a good half hour after she has released me before I can get an erection. That is fine as we just carry on with the foreplay and it has even helped me stay chaste as she cums so quickly. This is the one area of chastity that she is concerned about though as it removes any chance of complete spontaneity. > > It is a bit confusing though as before she removes the device I can be rock solid in the root of my penis, so you would think this would easily turn into a full raging erection. But it doesn't. I have no idea why. This makes a lot of sense, and might just be what's going on with my wife and I. My wife doesn't always need my penis when we make love, and it might be only 1 out of 4 times or something, but when she wants it she wants it RIGHT NOW and doesn't even like the time it takes for me to unlock and then wants it to be hard immediately. Anyway, your method of waiting for a bit after I'm unlocked to try to get hard. My wife has also complained some in the past that she wants it when she wants it and shouldn't have to wait or hand me a key or anything. I'm thinking that she's the one who knows when she's going to want my penis and if she already knows it's locked up (like she does now) then if she kept one of the keys and simply handed it to me when she was in the mood then that would most likely take care of the situation. I have no problem getting hard generally, but coming out of the device and being instantly aggressively stroked just doesn't doing it for me. Thanks for the thoughts.

So I was sort of keeping tabs on my wife's mood ever since we had our intense lovemaking on Saturday night to make sure she was still ok. To my surprise she was very upbeat and positive all day Sunday and Sunday evening. Sunday night we both went to bed together but not much cuddling happened as we were both pretty exhausted. I actually went to bed a little while before she did, and one thing I noticed is that when she usually enters the bedroom she will turn on all the lights even if I'm trying to sleep, but this time she quietly went over and turned on one lamp as low as it would go to give her just enough light to get ready and climb in bed. As morning arrived we were starting to wake up and I was finally able to spoon with her, holding her close and pressing my device firmly into her backside felt great. We laid there for the longest time until I absolutely had to get up and get ready for work. It was a nice morning. I've decided to stay locked since yesterday without removing it in the shower because after Saturday night I'm not concerned about anything related to my wife. I really think that considering the circumstances that happened on that night she has reacted (or hasn't reacted, more importantly) better than I could have asked for. To sum up the events....she knew I was locked when we climbed into bed. As I was pleasuring her she began to play with my device/balls which she has never done before, and she kept it up for a long time driving me crazy. When she felt that she needed her penis she told me very directly to "take it off and f*ck me!" which is totally not her usual character. I was fumbling trying to find the key in the pitch dark and she didn't loose patience with me like she has done the only other time we attempted something like this, instead she waited and just repeated her "command". Once the device was off she immediately grabbed it, and I know that it would have probably been more of a turn off to touch her penis as soon as it comes out of a tube after being in there for a long time...it definitely didn't bother her. She was trying and trying to get it hard but it was obvious it wasn't going to, so I think she realized that and instead worked at making me cum by her hand job. She never complained or commented like she has before about why it's not getting hard, and asking me if I have ED or something. She just simply got up, got me a towel, got dressed, and went to sleep. No complaining, nothing at all, just basically went to bed. It's like she now understands and accepts the fact that I'm locked in our lovemaking, and she has found that she really loves all the attention she receives in bed. She has discovered that receiving oral can give her as many orgasms (or more) than she would receive otherwise, and that if she wants me unlocked she just has to tell me and I will immediately do it. The way she told me to take it off was very hot, and it's something I hope to hear more of in the future.

One thing I did definitely notice after our session on Saturday night was that on Sunday I was just as horny as I was before I came. It had been over a month since I had last cum so it happened pretty quickly when my was giving me the hand job, and I was limp the entire time, so maybe my body reacted to it more like a ruined orgasm since I really didn't get any satisfaction from it. All day Sunday I was horny and actually contemplated trying to cum in my device, but I couldn't cheat on my wife like that. Since the beginning of the year (or longer) she has controlled when I cum and I wouldn't change that for the world. The only bummer to this whole thing is now the clock has reset and I am looking at another long stretch. On the plus side I imagine that my wife feels better now that she made me cum since I know she still feels some level of guilt or more specifically wanting to make sure I'm enjoying myself. It will be interesting to see how things go now that I've cum and she knows I can last a long time without the need to cum again. If I were to venture a guess I would say that she'll continue with the way things are. One thing I forgot to mention was on Friday night I tried to start a little foreplay in bed and was quickly shut down by her physically, without her saying anything. Essentially she just sort of made herself inaccessible in a very subtle way.

I have been trying once more to wear my device around the clock, but I still don't care for how the HT V2 locking mechanism creates a peculiar bulge at the front of my trousers. I am genuinely puzzled why it has to be such a prominent lump on the apparatus; however, I suppose this is due to the material composition and necessary for its strength. I am seriously thinking about switching to a stainless steel device because I believe it would look less noticeable. I also feel that opting for stainless steel would signal to my wife that I take this more seriously and are willing to invest more significantly in my gear. Sometimes she seems to view my current plastic setup with an 'it's just some piece of plastic' attitude, even though she hasn't explicitly said so. I am comfortable wearing the device 24/7 regarding comfort, but it needs to be discreet from others. Since being locked since Sunday, it has stayed on during showers instead of taking it off for cleaning and placing it atop the shower door as usual. My wife might not have noticed the difference; this morning she was blow-drying her long hair while I finished up and stepped out. Since she was busy with that, I doubt she saw anything. She likely did notice but didn't react or say a word. It really feels like she has grown so accustomed to it that I could walk around wearing just my HT and she probably wouldn't bat an eye. That represents a level of acceptance we haven't reached before. Earlier this morning while the alarm was ringing, she hit snooze twice and climbed back under the covers each time. Each return involved her presenting her backside to me as I snuggled in close using our old spooning position. We played footsie, with me wrapped tightly against her back, my device pressed into her rear. It felt wonderful, and I began getting aroused, so instinctively I started playing with her slightly. She shut that down quickly, deciding it was best for us both to get up. It was a lovely sensation, and I appreciate how she senses when I am starting to get turned on and stops me before things escalate further. Her method is nice and subtle rather than irritated, which aligns better with her current demeanor compared to the past. Another pleasant morning with her in good spirits and no sign of being bothered by my chastity pursuits.

Ever since the last time we had sex where she instructed me to unlock and then gave me a quick hand job while I was limp, I have been in a sort of blah mood regarding continuing with chastity. I continued wearing it daily as before, but found it beginning to occupy my thoughts and activities more than usual. It became the central focus; I spent too much time wondering where this is heading or whether I should wear it in the evenings risking discovery by one of the kids. Eventually, I realized that at least I needed a break for my own sanity. The final straw was becoming so keyed up and aroused that I ended up watching porn for hours and cumming inside my device. Since then, I have had very few sexual thoughts and haven't looked at even slightly erotic content. So today is Monday, and I have been free since Friday afternoon; right now, I am uncertain when I will return to being locked. We had a busy weekend, and other personal matters are taking precedence so that being in chastity isn't on our radar currently. I am not saying I am giving it up entirely, but it seems the time has come for a hiatus. I will post occasionally with updates, but right now there is not much to report.

We experienced something similar last night. After quite a while of playing around, my wife was nearing her orgasm and decided she wanted me unlocked. This has only happened one other time before. So I retrieved the key, unlocked myself, and brought towels and Kleenex (she is very neat and wants to avoid any mess on the sheets). When I returned to the room, I had already started losing some of my erection. She wanted me to continue stimulating her clit for another ten minutes or so. Without realizing it, I went completely limp while doing this. When she was ready for penetration, I tried to enter but couldn't because I was too soft. I thrust several times against her vagina, but my cock remained too flexible and just bounced off. Unlike your wife, mine was surprisingly aroused by this. Watching me desperately want to penetrate yet being unable to seems to have gotten her very excited. She allowed me to continue thrusting with my limp member, and little by little it recovered firmness. The only issue for me was that I could still feel everything as if I were fully erect. By the time I became hard enough, I was near climax. I just barely managed to get the head of my penis inside her when I couldn't hold back any longer and orgasmed. My wife was again turned on by the fact that I couldn't even enter completely before finishing. I didn't really feel the interior of her vagina before it ended for me, and then I was locked up again. So, perhaps the difference lies in how each person perceives such an experience. My wife found it arousing, and I felt no ill effects. But you sound less happy with yours.

It has been nearly six months since my last post here, primarily because I essentially stopped doing anything related to chastity. It felt like it was becoming too much effort for the reward, and my wife wasn't particularly into it at all, so I basically gave up and put everything away. But as many of you know, this lifestyle doesn't simply 'vanish,' and after some time passed, I found myself wearing the device again occasionally. Now, I find myself self-locked once more, but this time without involving my wife in any capacity. I am not asking her to be the keyholder nor do I want denial of orgasms from her or that sort of dynamic. This time around, I wear the HT because I wish to; it feels good and keeps me in a slightly aroused state. It may sound selfish ('what's in it for her?'), but that is my current stance. Recently, I have started wearing it almost daily, and it is becoming more natural again. I don't worry about whether others can see it or not, adopting a 'who cares' attitude. Along with this, I decided to stop being sneaky regarding my wife seeing the device or knowing I have it on. I have begun getting dressed in front of her while wearing it, taking showers with it, and sleeping with it on. It has been somewhat liberating, different from what I felt previously. If I don't make a big deal out of it and treat it as an everyday occurrence, I believe it will become natural for both of us. So far (it is still early), she hasn't seemed put off or reacted negatively in any way. She has seen it again in the bathroom and felt it during bed. Last week on Saturday night we went out. We returned late; she stayed up while I went to sleep. In the morning, while we were sleeping in, I started feeling horny. She was facing away from me, so I settled behind her, pressing my body against hers with my cage against her rear end. She stirred and moved slightly, and I could feel my HT moving along with her body. As I began playing with her breasts and touching her skin, she responded. Before long, she rolled onto her back to give me access to her breasts. She pulled up her top, and I went to work. Throughout this, I kept thinking she must have felt the device the whole time since it was still pressing against her, and her leg had bumped into it several times. One thing led to another; soon her pajama pants were off as I played with her, making her increasingly wet. As things progressed, I could tell she was nearing climax, so I went down on her and brought her to a very intense orgasm. During all this, I remained clothed (lower half) so she understood no penis would be involved. She never questioned it but drew me close as she relaxed. We lay there gently until it was time to rise. I was incredibly turned on but knew nothing more could be done about it then. It felt great. Over the weekend, she saw the device a couple of times without comment. The key remained lying on my nightstand in plain sight, signaling that I was still locked. These recent days have been enjoyable, and I am eager to see how things develop from here. Good to be back.

Last night my wife and I were watching TV; I was still locked since Sunday when she announced she would go to bed at 9:30. This seemed slightly odd as she doesn't usually announce her bedtime out of the blue. I told her I was heading up soon too, and before long we both went to our bedroom. By the time I arrived after making morning coffee and securing the house, she was already asleep. I wasn't particularly surprised but felt a slight twinge of disappointment because there was about a 1/2 percent chance her comment meant 'something.' Regardless, I went up and fell asleep quickly. Morning came, and I woke before the alarm with what might have been my largest nocturnal erection ever. Still locked in my HT, the erection had pushed everything away from my body. My scrotum was stretched tight, and enough of the shaft base was exposed to allow my whole fist to wrap around it. It filled my grip firmly and felt full. About then, the alarm went off; my wife got up, hit snooze, and headed to the bathroom. I assumed she was fully awake for the day, but soon she returned to our bedroom and climbed back into bed. She faced me this time, offering little opportunity for spooning initially, so we lay there until the second alarm sounded. This time I hit snooze and went back down. Eventually, she turned away from me, and we settled into a very close spooning position. I could feel my cage pressing into her rear end as I wrapped my arm over her, pulling her close. Inside my cage, an erection was trying to grow; every now and then she would reposition and wiggle her hips against it. It felt great, and I wanted that feeling to last all day. It is funny because we don't normally cuddle like this unless I am caged; then I have a strong urge to do so. She seems to enjoy it too, though I wonder if she has made the connection yet.

It is Thursday now, and I have been locked since Sunday afternoon. So far so good getting back into regular wear. I notice I am experiencing more morning erections than before starting this routine. Obviously, it might be uncomfortable because the stretching of my scrotal skin can wake me up; however, as I lie there after swelling subsides, I find myself getting hard again just from feeling the device embrace my penis. It feels so good to wear it that its restrictive nature is a turn-on in itself. So I lay relaxed and feel myself becoming more aroused and full. This morning it happened again; by the time I got out of bed, I was semi-hard with the HT pushed toward the back of my sack. Eventually, things settle down, but this isn't caused by needing to urinate or anything similar. I am actually enjoying these sensations. As a side note, I have been much more relaxed wearing it this week due to my mindset that I will no longer hide it from my wife and will act naturally. I am not actively seeking situations where she sees it, nor avoiding them. So far there hasn't been a moment where she blatantly saw it in full view, but this morning while talking, all I was wearing were boxer briefs, making its presence quite obvious. I feel confident that she knows and accepts my frequent wear; thus, it shouldn't be an issue for us. Again, I am not asking her to participate actively, just to accept that I have it on. When we are in bed together, I try not to do anything out of the ordinary so that she feels it against her or inadvertently touches it. While this might be less fun for me personally, I think she appreciates not having it pressed constantly into her as I tended to do in the past. There will surely be plenty of real cuddling opportunities coming up. We are going away this weekend as a family and staying in our hotel room, so I may just leave my HT behind at home for that trip. Perhaps taking a break for a couple of days is wise. I might ask my wife her opinion, but even if left around (worn or packed) with the kids present, I don't think it would bother me. Once again, I am not doing this to try and make my wife my keyholder or to test endurance limits; rather, treating it more like a fetish toy that adds something to our relationship. We shall see where this goes.

Things have been going smoothly lately, so I haven't posted in a while but thought I would write one out this morning. I have been locked for the week since returning from our long weekend away, and it has been fine. I don't think I have ever felt so relaxed wearing it; sometimes I forget I even have it on. It is very comfortable, and feels discreet enough to wear constantly without the paranoia that people might notice, which seems unfounded now. My wife knows I wear it, and she appears to accept it seamlessly. She remains as loving and caring as ever, not batting an eye when seeing me with it or whatever else we are doing. We have been playing in bed over the last few weekends, and she seems to be having a good time. When I say 'playing,' it generally involves making out, then me stimulating her breasts and rubbing her crotch before she strips naked so I can go down on her until she reaches climax. All while I remain locked without an orgasm, which she doesn't seem to worry about anymore. She fully enjoys the attention, and there is no guilt toward me for being unable to release. This has become one of the hottest developments. Last Saturday night we went out; she wore tight jeans, boots, and a sexy top that always drives me wild. Upon returning home, she wanted to stay up watching TV while I just wanted bed. I headed upstairs and waited but fell asleep quickly. When I felt her climbing into bed, I woke instantly aroused. Foreplay began with which she responded very positively. She got more turned on, soon stripping down naked in bed beside me. Feeling it was fitting that I did the same; although still obviously locked in my HT, being nude allowed us to feel each other's bodies against one another. It felt great to be both nude and locked. I went down on her again, and she reached a powerful orgasm afterward. She pulled me close, holding me until we fell asleep completely satisfied—exactly what she needed. Later toward morning I woke up ready to resume earlier activities, but this time she wanted no part of it and sweetly told me to let her sleep in. Her voice was gentle; she wasn't annoyed, so I obeyed. Horny but grateful for her calm honesty. The rest of the weekend was busy with her in a good mood—fun and pleasant company without hinting that she wanted PIV sex from the night before. She will need it eventually, and I am happy to oblige; I just have to figure out how to uncage myself when that time comes since getting frustrated if she wants release while I'm locked is something we both know. I guess I'll cross that bridge then. Right now, this feels like a positive adjustment for her.

Just a quick update from today. My wife has never really been one to send seductive texts or emails, so this might not mean much either way, but I got an interesting email from her while she was working from home instead of going into the office. It popped up unexpectedly around 1 PM, and the subject line read "Boots every day, all day." If you know me at all, you'll know that boots are my absolute favorite thing about what she wears. I opened it right away—it was an ad from JCPenney announcing a sale on their entire boot collection. It sounds mundane enough, but the detail I caught was her note at the start: "I figured you would like this ad." That surprised me because she rarely sends me anything remotely similar, let alone an advertisement for boots paired with such a sweet comment. Of course, I had to reply with, "Thanks. A nice little diversion. Pick out what you want....." She didn't respond back immediately, but I know she was busy this afternoon, so we'll see if she takes me up on the offer. I might have to go pick a couple of pairs for her. Still locked in and feeling very relaxed about it.

> member_56247e707f wrote: "Boots every day, all day" This could end up being expensive.:lol:

I certainly hope it does...:). When we first married, she wasn't really into boots at all—she probably only had one pair. But over the last few years, she's really taken to them. Between what she bought herself and what I've gifted her, I think she now has about 20 pairs. Hooray.

Yesterday was a bit of a down day for me; I felt somewhat depressed. I couldn't quite pinpoint it, but there seemed to be something (real or just in my head) creating distance between my wife and me. The day before had been good when she sent that email, but then the next evening she had things going on and didn't get home until I was preparing for bed. By the next morning, she was up early and worked late. When we finally sat down to dinner together, she looked tired and a bit grumpy. I let everything play out naturally, which turned out well. Last night, she went to bed before me as usual. When I got in, she was already fast asleep. The rest of the night passed peacefully; I only tried once to spoon with her, which went smoothly except for her shifting around a bit against my device, something she does sometimes. I've never been sure if that's conscious or subconscious, but either way, it works. The biggest change was this morning. She got up well before me and by the time I rose, she was already working on her laptop. She seemed very cheerful when she saw me, a mood that lasted through the morning. After my shower in our main bathroom, I went to the other one to get dressed just as she came in, swinging the door open with that playful question of hers—well, more like how she used to do it; she hadn't done it in a while. She stripped down and hopped into the second shower. Meanwhile, I finished up and headed to the bedroom around the same time she did her shower. Knowing she would come back soon, I picked out my clothes and timed it so that I would be standing there naked with just my HT on when she entered. I don't think she has ever seen me fully upright in full view of the device before, so this felt like a good opportunity to jump that hurdle. Sure enough, she came in, chose her clothes, and moved to her side of the bed. As we talked, we both got dressed facing each other. There I stood, slipping on my shirt with nothing else on but my HT, clearly visible as we looked at one another. She didn't react much—neither positively nor negatively—and mostly just maintained eye contact. I'm sure she saw it, and I know she knows that I wear it constantly now. We finished up, and she stayed in her good mood for the rest of the time, joking around. I'll be interested to see what happens tonight and tomorrow since we both have the day off work. Probably nothing major will happen, but you never know. Regardless, my general outlook is much better now, especially regarding my wife's reaction (or lack thereof) to my decision to stay in my chastity device.

The weekend passed without much fooling around. We both had Friday off but still needed to get up early for the kids' school drop-off and then got busy with daytime chores. The rest of the weekend was equally uneventful, except for Saturday morning when we were leaving the house. I was in our glass shower wearing my HT while she came over to "her" sink area where all her things are kept. The sink is right next to the shower, separated only by a clear glass wall. I continued showering as usual but decided to face toward her so there would be no doubt about seeing what was happening. I know, I'm being cheeky. When I finished, I realized I'd forgotten my towel and asked her for one. She handed it over through the corner of the shower while looking away. It was quite amusing. I still believe that if I keep this part of our daily routine, she will lose some of its stigma as something weird or kinky. Speaking of which, I've been locked every day for the past two weeks, only removing it once a week to clean in the shower and then putting it right back on. I feel more relaxed and comfortable wearing it each time. My lovely wife sees it and feels it occasionally without appearing upset that I'm wearing it or that we haven't had PIV sex yet this month. I was trying to recall when the last time actually was, but can't quite remember. However, she has had multiple orgasms since then, with the most recent one occurring on 10/16. One thing I've noticed lately is an increase in morning erections; the device gets pushed away from my body, really stretching things out. This creates a build-up of enlarged shaft behind the device that continues inside me. It feels good when these happen, and sometimes as they subside, I leak some precum too. Love it. Also, on Thursday evening, I took boot shopping with my wife and bought her two pairs. She couldn't find anything else she liked more, so we stopped there. It was fun going to different stores picking out boots for her. Even though we didn't have sex this weekend in any way, there was some cuddling involved, and she remained in a great mood all weekend long. So it's important to note that the lack of sex wasn't due to her being upset or turned off by me. In a way, it was nice that it didn't escalate into an issue since now we're back to the work week, leading to another week of denial. We don't usually fool around during weekdays, but I'm sure there will be some intense cuddling.

Last night, I woke up around 2 am feeling incredibly horny. I was lying on my stomach with my HT pressed into the mattress. It was somewhat uncomfortable but also really hot. As I lay there, I felt myself becoming more and more erect until the base ring started to pull away from my body and my erection grew larger still. I stayed like that for a long time, enjoying the sensation and being pleased that I was fully erect over something tangible rather than it just being a nocturnal occurrence. I had hoped my wife would be facing away so I could settle into her backside with it, but she was facing me, so I couldn't "share" the moment. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep. When the morning alarm went off, we were both feeling lazy and hit snooze twice—we never do that. After the second time, I felt frisky and began snuggling into her backside with my arm over hers, touching her breasts. It felt wonderful, and she seemed to enjoy it too. She eventually rolled onto her back, and I laid my leg over her hip and leg, bringing things closer together. My HT pressed nicely against her hip, and she appeared comfortable in that position. I was starting to fool around a bit when the alarm went off for the last time. She said we needed to get up and slowly climbed out of bed to turn it off. I felt bummed but also noticed our connection felt different than usual. She could feel me being locked, yet she wasn't turned off by it at all as we lay wrapped together. There was a certain spark there that I hadn't really felt before; it felt great. I'm starting to think about talking to her about having her hold the key again and seeing where things go. It might just mean keeping the key on her nightstand so she can unlock me when she feels like it. I don't need much more than that since I stay locked 24/7 now, only taking it off once a week for cleaning.

I realize that to many of you this is a super vanilla blog post, but it's where we are at the moment and provides me with a good place to record my thoughts as current events unfold. You'll notice that most of our chastity interactions (as minimal as they may be) happen in the mornings. I think this is because we both work; our evenings seem short, and when we reach the bedroom, we fall asleep quickly. Pretty boring routine for us. This morning, while showering and trying to clean my penis and Holy Trainer as best I could, I was pulling out my shaft slightly from the device to get a good clean. It occurred to me that I might be able to pull the whole thing out entirely. I don't believe I've ever tried it before, but soon enough, I had pulled my entire shaft out of the still-locked device, which hung there clamped onto my balls. It came out quite easily with some soap and water, and I quickly slid it back in again without issue. Now that I know it's possible to remove it completely, clean everything thoroughly, and slip it back on, that is what I did. For a brief second, I thought, "Hey, this might be fun," but then I made sure not to play with it too much and stuck to the task at hand. I must admit, my penis has started getting a little sensitive from being locked for about a month now, so the handheld shower felt quite stimulating spraying directly on me. I tried to finish quickly before I got hard again and couldn't get it back in easily. The fact that it came out so smoothly made me wonder if I should switch to a smaller ring or something similar. However, I've tried a 36mm base ring before (I'm currently using one), and it felt too tight, squeezing my balls up closely. Things can change over time, but I think I am okay for now with this method of cleaning from here on out. After the shower, I went to the bedroom to get dressed right after my wife entered. We stood there on opposite sides of the bed with our clothes laid out just chatting when I completely stripped down in front of her. Again, no big deal for most people, but a significant moment for us. So there I stood naked and caged before my wife while she faced me talking. I didn't linger longer than normal, though it felt like quite some time. I watched her reaction closely; honestly, there wasn't much of one. She kept facing me as we talked, acting normally rather than looking at the device intentionally but keeping an eye on me generally. Since the device is black, it stands out when I strip down to nothing, so it must have been in her peripheral vision. The rest of the morning proceeded as usual as we both headed off to work. I did order another Standard HT tube online, which arrives tomorrow. This time, I got a clear version just to mix things up a bit. It will be interesting to see if she notices or comments on the change in tubes.

The HT Clear Standard tube I ordered arrived a day early yesterday afternoon. When I got home, I unpackaged it, washed it, and immediately swapped it for the black version I had been wearing. I still have my black base ring, so there is a slight mismatch in appearance, but it looks good. I forgot how much I appreciate the clear tube because you can see everything inside. Anyway, last night was uneventful, but this morning, my wife and I were together in the same bathroom when I came in to shower. I stripped right in front of her while she did her hair and makeup. Stepping into the three-sided glass shower stall next to the vanity, I stood just two or three feet from her. I finished showering and stepped out, towel drying beside her with my back to her mirror. She was looking at herself, so I knew she had a clear view of what was happening behind me. She went about her business, and the morning continued as usual.

It all began with a phone call while I was wrapping up my workday. My wife called to ask if I wanted to meet her after hours, so naturally I said yes and we spent a lovely evening together. When we got home, we relaxed before heading to bed. Knowing she was tired and would likely fall asleep quickly, I followed her soon after, hoping she might be in the mood for some fun. I climbed into bed where she was already waiting but still awake. I started touching and caressing her right away, and she responded warmly. Things escalated quickly, and before long, she had stripped naked next to me under the covers. Naturally, I undressed too, even though my device kept things locked up, and we resumed our play. We continued like that for a while; I could feel her leg occasionally knocking against my cage, but it didn't seem to bother her much. Before I knew it, I had gone down on her, burying my face in her warmth. She arched her back and breathed harder, making wonderful sounds. I kept going, watching her become increasingly aroused as I did the same, though without an erection thanks to the cage. This went on for some time until I decided I needed to do something with my locked member. I rose up and began rubbing the Holy Trainer against her wetness. She seemed to respond really well to this motion; I could hear her breathing sync with my rhythmic thrusting. It amazed me that she was reacting so positively despite usually finding the device somewhat of a turn-off on some level. This felt like new territory for us, and even though it was hard to believe at times, I truly enjoyed it. As is typical of mine, not quite satisfied with just rubbing against her, I pushed further by aligning my device with her vagina and gently pushing the tip inside. Having seen this done in videos where the smooth HT acted like a natural member, I kept doing it for a short while. Suddenly, she said, "I have a better idea; lie down over here." So I rolled off her and lay beside her. She straddled me and slowly climbed up my body until she pressed her wetness against my face as she held onto the headboard. It was heaven. I did exactly what I was told while she ground on my face, at times almost smothering me so that I had to take deep breaths when possible. I have always found this position—her above me, rubbing herself into my face—to be incredibly hot in its own way. In my opinion, it showed her dominance; she was on top enjoying herself while I served her. It felt very arousing. She continued until she became quite vocal (worrying the kids might hear) and her body shook as she had a powerful orgasm. This essentially ended our play session. She climbed off and lay next to me, partially resting her body on mine. Still feeling like I was in heaven, I reflected on how things went and how far we seemed to have come. It was quiet for a bit when suddenly she blurted out, "We need to talk." Fear washed over me because I assumed I had messed up somewhere. But it wasn't that bad. She made her feelings clear: she didn't like or appreciate my trying to stick the device inside her. I apologized quickly. Then she added something important: if I wanted PIV sex, "the key is right over there" (pointing to my nightstand). While this sounded slightly scolding, that last part stuck with me. She was essentially saying the rest of our sex life was good and acceptable as long as I didn't force the device in. If she needed PIV intercourse, obviously I'd need to be uncaged. She implied she is fine without PIV and satisfied on her own terms, but if *I* needed it (again, not strictly necessary for her), then just take the cage off. It was my choice; she couldn't care less. That was the gist of it. Her mention of the key was also a good sign, showing she acknowledges I am locked and that the key is right next to us. I think if she really wanted PIV sex with me at that moment, she would have handed me the key or told me directly to remove the device. But since her orgasm had been terrific and she felt satisfied, there was no rush for it. We both fell asleep naked until morning. When my alarm went off (since she was working late), she said, "That's all you, sweetie." The use of "sweetie" confirmed we were still okay. It was a great experience. She got up later and remained in a calm, pleasant mood as we had coffee together. Last night marked a major step for us, with me being locked and my device playing an active role (perhaps too actively at one point, but I believe if I had just kept rubbing against her rather than pushing inside, it wouldn't have been such an issue). Having her take charge like she did to bring herself to orgasm was definitely significant for both of us. She now realizes she can be satisfied without my penis being involved directly. Telling me that I could unlock myself if desired showed me she doesn't *need* it at all. I feel like a very lucky guy.

So that happened on Thursday night. All day Friday, I kept replaying exactly what had occurred in my mind. Aside from my attempt to slide the device inside her during sex, it was an incredibly successful time for our chastity journey. A few things keep coming up: While I understand we were caught up in passion and letting go of inhibitions, she wasn't bothered by the presence of the Holy Trainer (except for that one incident above which I apologized). Before, she wouldn't accept or understand it during intimacy and would flat-out say it turned her off. Prior to my mistake of pushing too far, I had actually been grinding the HT against her wetness for quite a while, and she seemed to be responding positively. I have this feeling that if I had just stayed with doing that, she might very well have cum from that alone. But then when things changed position, she essentially told me to change tactics, at which point she took charge of our lovemaking. This brings up another point: she generally doesn't take the lead in bed; instead, she lets me do what I want. She has always been more passive and enjoyed many orgasms without having to do much work. The other night, however, she definitely stepped up. In a way that felt dominant, she had me roll onto my back as she climbed on top straddling me and pressing her wetness into my face, all while grinding against me and almost smothering me at the same time. She was incredibly turned on and completely took control of the situation. When she was satisfied after cumming (at least once), she simply climbed off and lay next to me without considering my state of mind too much, knowing full well there wasn't anything I could do because I was locked up. I know in the past when we first started playing with my lock-up, she would often feel guilty that I couldn't be stimulated or cum, usually asking why I wanted to endure this. Now it seems that thought doesn't even enter her mind; she is taken care of and that's all she cares about. Very hot. Also, previously she really enjoyed PIV sex and would get upset or disappointed when we didn't do it. We haven't had PIV in a long time, yet she has had some of her most intense orgasms without my penis being involved at all (well, maybe a little this time). The last traditional session was sometime in September, but she has had at least four separate sessions where she came in October. I'm not so sure she even needs my penis anymore. She may have concluded that it is far easier for her to get an orgasm and be done with it than to ensure I am taken care of as well. Again, the guilt seems gone. The fact that she told me if I wanted to be inside her, I would have to unlock myself—and pointed out the key was "over there"—speaks exactly to that point. It implies she doesn't mind either way, but if it is something *I* need to do, then use the key next time. This also tells me she is very aware of the key on my nightstand and understands that when it sits there, I am locked in chastity...if it's not there, I must be free. One last thing about that night was how we both rolled over and went to sleep naked. We were able to really touch each other without anything coming between us. When we woke up, she was very pleasant toward me, calling me "sweetie" and seeming genuinely happy. If it had been an awkward or unpleasant experience, I would have felt it in her reaction or heard her flat-out tell me like she has done in the past. I must admit, however, that because I hadn't cum since September and all I could think about for the last week was finally being able to release, I took it upon myself to work at masturbating with my device on Friday evening. It's usually not easy, but I was incredibly horny and it happened quite quickly. While I felt immediate relief—and actually came a lot—I also felt immediate remorse for what I had done. The guilt was strong, though I thought about telling her. However, I know she would be indifferent whether I masturbated or not. Since then, I have vowed to refrain from masturbating and instead try to encourage her to give me relief when she sees fit. We'll see how that goes.

As I keep reflecting on the events from the other night, I find myself going back to how turned on she was and how she took control of the situation so that she could reach her orgasm. Her pleasure was obviously the most important thing for her. When she told me to lie on my back as she smothered me, it seemed like I became almost an object or toy used by her to achieve her goal. When it was over, it was truly over. She never once showed concern for me nor touched or played with me in any way while doing so. When she was completely satisfied, she simply stopped and dismounted, then lay there with me as she basked in her afterglow. I couldn't have been happier; I still get a twinge of excitement when thinking about it now. I really feel that she has accepted (and almost embraced) my wearing of the chastity device and understands that she can still have great sex even if I'm locked up. The way the device used to turn her off completely, and how usually when I tried wearing it to bed for fooling around she would say "really?" with disgust upon feeling it—that seems gone now. As I recounted our time together earlier, I was actually grinding the HT against her while she enjoyed it until I went too far (pushing inside), but there is no way she would have reacted like that before. I think this may have really opened up her eyes to how much fun it can be with me locked and concentrating only on her pleasure...plus, there's less mess. It sounds silly, but she is free now to just roll over instead of fetching a towel or whatever for cleanup afterward. I'm going to continue down this path we are on for as long as possible. I have treated my lock-up as just another part of our relationship without feeling guilty or uncomfortable around her, and it seems that she has responded in the same way. I can stand naked in front of her now (as I did this morning) and she accepts it as our new normal. Since wearing it pretty much 24/7 since September, she knows I'm serious about this; it isn't a passing fad. She recognizes that the key is available if she wants me unlocked, but the way she put it the other night was that she didn't *need* me to be unlocked and that I could use the key if I needed to be, while she remained just fine thank you. I've considered attempting to give her the key again as my keyholder, but I think I'll hold off for now and see how things progress. She has shown me that she doesn't need me unlocked at all, so why should she hold the key? Good point.

Hello again. I'm still sticking to our current plan. There hasn't been much new to report, which is actually a good sign in its own way. We've just gone about our daily routines with me locked up and her looking quite comfortable with the whole setup. She sees me wearing the device while naked and seems completely at ease with it, which has made a big difference. I'm far more relaxed now that I'm in chastity; I rarely worry anymore if she'll be turned off by seeing it, or whether I should turn around when getting changed. The other night, my wife and I drove to the school to collect our son from his dance event. When I got out of the car to go get him, I looked down and saw a couple of pieces of wood on the ground. I picked them up and said, "I've got wood over here," without really thinking much about it. She replied, "I really doubt that" and started laughing. I told her she was right, and we both laughed together. It might have been nothing significant, but the speed of her response suggested she was joking because I can't get hard while locked up. I know it could just have been a random joke about me not being erect, which wouldn't make much sense anyway. Regardless, it gave me a little jolt, and we laughed as I walked away. I had hoped for some playtime over the weekend—really for quite a while now—but there wasn't any. She didn't seem in the mood; she was tired, fell asleep quickly, slept deeply all night (no pun intended), and got up early that morning. Today is day 18 since her last orgasm, which is also when I pushed things a bit further. However, I think this dry spell has nothing to do with my actions but is simply due to our busy lives and how things ebb and flow between us. She's very happy and content, needing sex less often at times. Before the recent time we had it was fairly frequent, with intervals of 6, 8, and 4 days between her orgasms, so I think another "event" might be approaching. My wife is preparing for business travel and will be away during weekdays for three weeks starting next week, which could affect things. I'm also considering having her hold the key while she's gone, as I've done before, but it didn't go quite as planned previously; she ended up forgetting she even had it. In a way, I don't want to change our dynamic right now and am happy leaving things as they are.

I realize this goes against the "rules" for the Journey section of this website, but I'm asking for your input. For those who have been reading my entries for a long time, I'd like to know how you perceive things progressing in my journey. Primarily, I am in a situation where my wife has finally accepted that I wear a device; she isn't completely on board yet, and I remain self-locked. Keep in mind this dynamic has blown up before, and while my wife is still very vanilla, she seems to have come a long way. Where do you see things going for us, or am I just fooling myself? Please be respectful and consider how long it's taken to get to this point.