Queries and Guidance Needed

here we go then. i am 29 and have been married for seven years, my wife is also 29. lately our sex life has been a bit lackluster, but we are trying new approaches to improve it, which seems to be working reasonably well. i have always had a kinky side, whereas she is less so. i really enjoy being pegged, though she doesn’t find much pleasure in receiving it, so we don’t do it often unless i specifically ask. when i am with her sexually, my dick struggles to stay hard until the very end. i suspect this might be because i masturbate constantly; since i work weekends and she works weekdays, i have plenty of alone time at home. while solo, i watch porn (pegging content:D) and release multiple times a day. if i try hard enough, i can go three or four days without touching myself. i believe this habit is impacting my sex life with my wife.

i always knew about chastity, but it never really excited me until i mentioned it to my wife; she was absolutely thrilled! WOW, the prospect of her controlling me gets her going! since she doesn’t particularly like dominating using a strap-on, the idea of her controlling my orgasms is a huge turn on for her. so i ordered an HT2, but found it way too small. i am considering getting a Jailbird instead. Before I make that bigger investment in chastity gear, I want to know if this lifestyle will actually work for me, hence my questions.

Will being put in chastity help curb my appetite for porn viewing? If im locked in chastity will my mind move to thoughts of sex or away from it? do you think sexual frustration will help me achieve a long lasting boner? did your key holder when exposed to this life style enjoy and evolve to become more controlling in bed? i would really like to hear what you all have to say! thank you for reading my post.

First of all, Welcome to the Forums and thanks for posting your Hello in the Hello World thread. Now to your questions: > member_ddbf336765 wrote:when i am home alone i watch porn (pegging:D) and release multiple times a day, i think this is affecting my sex life with my wife. Ya think:lol: Absolutely did for me. It's one main reason why she keeps me locked. > member_ddbf336765 wrote:will being put in chastity help curb my appetite for porn viewing? Might, but chances are it won't. > member_ddbf336765 wrote:if im locked in chastity will my mind move to thoughts of sex or away from it? In the beginning, sex is all you will think about. Be careful because it can be a overload for your wife. > member_ddbf336765 wrote:do you think sexual frustration will help me achieve a long lasting boner? It did for me. I would call it a "longer" lasting boner. > member_ddbf336765 wrote:did your key holder when exposed to this life style enjoy and evolve to become more controlling in bed? It took some time but absolutely. Now she wouldn't have me any other way.

I agree with locked4her55's advice. Just one more tip from me. Before purchasing a Jailbird, I would go with a device like the CBxxxx series to start. I'm probably going to get some static from others here for that statement, but here are my reasons. Reason 1 is to figure out the proper sizing so that you will order the correct size Jailbird Reason 2 is in the beginning, as locked4her55 said, you will have sex on your mind all the time so you need a device that doesn't allow you to touch or stimulate your cock at all. The Jailbird is no doubt a far better device, but it allows you access to the sensitive parts through the bars which can be very tempting for a beginner. Once you get past the initial horniness, learn not to touch yourself and realize that the buildup is far better than the orgasm, you will be less tempted to slip up and sneak one in. This would be the time to purchase the Jailbird. To this day, I still wear a completely enclosed device that does not allow me any access. Not because I want to touch, but it's what she wants. I've learned that its her penis and only she can play with it. That's fine by me because it is so much better when she takes charge.

will being put in chastity help curb my appetite for porn viewing? - I watch more porn now than before. My wife does not object to porn, just masturbating to it. Since I am locked up all the time I enjoy watching porn as it arouses me but lately I find it boring. if im locked in chastity will my mind move to thoughts of sex or away from it? - I think about sex much more for the first two months but not as much afterwards. Really depends on how often my wife teases me though. do you think sexual frustration will help me achieve a long lasting boner? - I still need Viagra to do that effectively. In fact, the longer I go without an orgasm, the harder it is to have one and get erect. When I am very horny I can cum very fast, before I even fully get hard. However, there is a sweet spot where you are still very horny but not yet at the point where you put sex out of your mind entirely. Trial and error will find that spot. For me, I will get hard and stay that way for the first two weeks. After that it is a lot of work for my wife to get me hard without Viagra. I seem to go into non sexual mode to make it easier to bear. did your key holder when exposed to this life style enjoy and evolve to become more controlling in bed? My wife was reluctant at first but fell in love with teasing and denial. She is not just more controlling in bed; she is in complete control in bed. I am just along for the ride. The longer we do this, the less she wants me to cum at all. Go slow and try some teasing and denial without a chastity device at first. Show her how horny you get when you are teased and denied just for a short period of time. Help more around the house and offer to do things for her. I started to clean up after dinner, wash the dishes, take care of the trash and help with the laundry. My wife began to associate orgasm denial with a more helpful husband so she wanted to do it more often. We did not go straight to a device; we used a CB6000 which is adjustable for most men until after two weeks of doing teasing and denial. Over the last 15 months we gradually increased my chastity time to 4-5 months without an orgasm. I found that taking baby steps and not tossing in D/s or anything else into chastity at the beginning is a big help. Some guys want their wives to do chastity and also turn into a dominatrix in a week. That scares most wives away. You can bring in some of that stuff later on but at the beginning just stick with some teasing and denial for longer and longer time periods until you reach a point where you tell her that a chastity device would be helpful in letting you go longer. Do not expect your wife to know anything about chastity or share your fantasy. Some call it topping from the bottom, but someone has to teach your wife and let her know what you like or do not like. Chastity is not D/s. It is two people working together to keep the guy chaste. I can make myself cum anytime I want with a little effort but I do not choose to. I taught my wife a little at a time and at the end of one year she said she was ready to take 100% control so i stopped guiding her. We still both agree on limits. If she wants you to go two years without an orgasm and that would not be fun for you, chastity will fail. Pick realistic goals and work together to achieve them. Start off with small periods of chastity and keep increasing the time until you reach your limit. There are no rules dictating how long you have to be denied an orgasm or how long you have to wear a chastity device. Do what is fun for both of you. Do not try to escape or give yourself an orgasm too easily. Do not make being a keyholder a lot of work, or your wife will not want to do it anymore. If she wants you locked up 24/7 she should not have to keep checking on you every few hours. She should be able to trust you to take a shower while unlocked because while it may be fun for you to be supervised, it is no fun for her to stand there and watch. While some enjoy being handcuffed and tied down when they are unlocked, that is not necessary. I cannot imagine someone being unlocked and then trying to jerk off while their wife is telling them to stop.:) Good luck.

I still consider myself a newbie around here, but here are my observations since being locked up. I still like to watch porn but it gets boring very quickly. In the past when I was going to watch porn I was also going to be masturbating. So it just doesn't work for me now. Pretty boring whenever you can't touch yourself as far as I'm concerned. I think about sex a lot now. Hard not to with a cage on my cock. The thing is when I think about sex now, the thoughts are mostly fantasies about my wife and how I would like to please her. I am 63 years old so as far as getting and keeping a boner goes, things work a little slower. But I will say being locked up increases my horniness so much that when I am let out I do notice a difference. At this point, I think my wife is participating in my chastity more for me than her own benefit, although I will have to say she is becoming more assertive in bed. She still hasn't grasped that I want her to deny me an orgasm. It's a job for me not to top from the bottom. I would say that's the most important thing I've learned so far. Sounds like you are ahead of the game since your wife is enthusiastic about you being locked. Good luck to you!

I may be in the minority, but this is my take: > member_ddbf336765 wrote: > will being put in chastity help curb my appetite for porn viewing? Absolutely not! That's a fantasy. Caged males watch porn. She doesn't have your eyes locked up. > member_ddbf336765 wrote:if im locked in chastity will my mind move to thoughts of sex or away from it? It makes me think about sex more. > member_ddbf336765 wrote:do you think sexual frustration will help me achieve a long lasting boner? Not having sex for a while can help there, but no guarantee. > member_ddbf336765 wrote:did your key holder when exposed to this life style enjoy and evolve to become more controlling in bed? It isn't a natural change. You need to discuss this with her. My suggestion is to start slow. Just get her to lock you up and make you wait as long as *she* wants, not you. Give that at least 2 months - really! Then ask about other stuff. Most guys screw up being locked up by asking for way more than their keyholders are ready to do. my 2 cents.