Trying various cages with persistent foreskin swelling; considering circumcision but facing delays

I just joined the forum (you can find my intro in the Hello world section) and our relationship’s chastity setup is still quite fresh. She keeps the key, but we don’t have a dominant/submissive dynamic.

I have foreskin tissue and have experimented with the CB6000, CB6000S, CB3000, and HolyTrainer using 45/50 mm rings. We both enjoy this arrangement and haven’t spared any expense trying to find the right gear.

So far, bad luck has plagued us—every device causes significant edema for me, leaving my skin swelling up to nearly 1 cm (about a quarter inch). Others have faced similar issues, with recommendations ranging from custom-made cages to getting circumcised.

We are both in our forties, and this journey has rekindled our passion. However, I admit that my wife sees metal custom cages as too heavily tied to BDSM culture, and honestly, so do I. Circumcision is a relatively minor procedure for us, and since we really value the improved intimacy, it feels like a serious possibility. What are your thoughts on this option?

> member_036a629b33 wrote:...in every device I get serious edema problems - the skin being close to a 1 cm or 1/4 inch thick. I'm struggling to understand your issue. Describing the skin as "thick" doesn't quite match 'edema,' and also, one centimeter is not equal to a quarter inch—it's off by more than 50%. Edema refers to fluid retention *under* the skin surface, not necessarily a thickening of the tissue itself. You'll need to describe your condition with greater precision if you want answers that are actually useful.

I'm also not clear on the "thick" description... Maybe it's puffing up that much? Regardless, it looks like you need a more open device. You'll likely get this with either a Curve cage (provided your anatomy fits such a large design) or a steel model. I used to think, 'Oh no, are we getting into hardcore scary metal territory?' But let me tell you... it is incredibly sexy, and just seeing the hardware on him turns her on immensely. It might be worth buying an affordable steel cage from places like dhgate or Amazon to test it out first. Then decide if it feels "too much" for your style. Just a thought:) best of luck!

My apologies; English isn't my native language. I use the stocking method to insert my penis into the cage. I've tried it with the foreskin covering the tip and pulling back to keep skin from reaching the end of the case. However, just one erection is enough to force the foreskin forward against the cage tip. For some reason, the skin begins to swell. At first, it was minor. When flaccid, my foreskin is about 2 mm thick, but this can worsen to around 10 mm (my earlier conversion to inches wasn't accurate). The swelling takes roughly a day to subside. The CB6000 wasn't too bad, but with the CB3000, I had to remove the lock almost immediately. There is no pain, just some redness that looks quite dramatic. In my language, edema means fluid trapped in a body part—so maybe it's not the exact medical term for what happens here. Basically, every time I wear one, the foreskin swells massively. Thanks to everyone who replied seriously. Lady M, we are just starting this journey and believe it is vital that we respect each other's limits. For now, steel isn't an option for us. This is a genuine question: Have I clarified the parts you found unclear?

> member_036a629b33 wrote:...Flacid, the foreskin is about 2 mm thick, this gets as bad as 10 mm (my conversion into inches was not accurate)... Check out the "Common Terms and Abbreviation" section. Under ***Definitions***, there's a link to a metric/inch converter. I was also confused at first. Sometimes having too much information can be just as tricky. You listed the devices you've tried, which is great. But what is your flaccid size? We need that diameter measurement. If the cages are too narrow for your girth, that could be part of the problem. Are you using any lubricant around the head area? If not, friction might be the culprit. Plastic grips tightly, so lube could help a lot.

> member_036a629b33 wrote:This is an honest question. Have I explained the parts that were unclear? I don't think anyone doubted your sincerity; we just couldn't quite pinpoint exactly what you were asking for guidance on. But I believe we have a clearer picture now. Unfortunately, lacking extra foreskin tissue myself, I lack personal experience to offer specific advice here. Some other members might be better equipped to guide you, but they don't visit as frequently as I do, so patience will be required. In the meantime, try using the forum search with the term "foreskin"; you may find posts that help.

I'm similar to you and didn't opt for a circumcision. I had mine done later in life, but the surgeons botched it slightly; now I still have foreskin when flaccid, though not when erect. They said I kept getting erections during surgery despite the ice packs. Looking back, they probably should have given me female hormones for a few weeks prior to prevent that, but I didn't want to endure that pain again. Many advise wearing the tightest ring you can tolerate without cutting off circulation. Personally, I prefer using the largest ring possible so my testicles don't slip out. I wear mine 24/7 with a custom device and had skin issues I initially blamed on a tight ring, but they were actually caused by too small of a gap between the cage walls. Once that gap was widened, the problem resolved for several months. Later, though, the ring started feeling tight occasionally, so I had it enlarged again. Now I have a perfect fit with no skin issues, although it took five different devices and multiple trips to my Jailbird provider to get there right. I also apply lube under the ring and inside the cage a few times daily using Gun Oil, a high-quality silicone lubricant. The previous lube didn't agree with my skin, so switching helped. A large bottle lasts forever because it's so slick; in fact, it gets slippery enough that putting the device on can be tricky since your hands slip easily. Also, don't obsess over being locked up every single minute of every day. Give your skin a break occasionally, whether during showers or for an hour or two afterward. I can go days without removal now, but it wasn't always easy.

> member_218d68eaa6 wrote:...Also, don't be fanatical about being locked up every minute of every day... This is likely the best advice you'll receive. You've probably idealized chastity and how it ***should*** feel; unfortunately, reality often differs. Especially in the beginning, there's a break-in period where your body parts adjust to their new surroundings.

Thank you very much for these helpful replies. I admit that we both enjoy it greatly, and I feel comfortable wearing it at night (I don't wake up during erections). However, our enthusiasm pushed things a bit too far when physical discomfort set in. We are new to this lifestyle, enjoying the process but perhaps took one step too far. Some middle-aged people in long-term relationships understand that spark of rekindled sexual energy. It's big fun—my wife adores her Tiffany key, and I like the devices themselves. This isn't something we had fantasized about for years; instead, we rely on common sense to stop when it feels wrong. I was already considering a circumcision regardless, so I'm curious if this current struggle might benefit from that solution.

We've tried it all. Sadly, no matter what we do, the swollen foreskin persists. We take things easy now; the device comes off at night, but that doesn't stop the physical issues. As two consenting adults with a non-dominant/submissive relationship, we have decided to proceed with circumcision in early August. I know it sounds unusual for us, but we've discussed it thoroughly. We understand that this "sacrifice" rests on trust and commitment, so we are moving forward. Is this the solution? No idea yet. If others are interested, I'll post updates. Having survived life-threatening major surgeries before, I see this as a small step for me, but potentially a giant leap forward in our shared love of this lifestyle.

Sorry to hear about your ongoing struggles with enjoying chastity play. Hope everything works out for you. Yes, please keep us posted.

Thank you. I understand that new members here need to earn trust, especially when asking advice about surgery—a solution few consider for chastity issues. The truth is, we both enjoy this lifestyle and have exhausted other options. While some might view a scar as a drawback, I see it as the start of a new era where people in their 40s rediscover joy in sex.

I think uncircumcised looks unattractive to me, and it seems somewhat inconvenient too. I've discussed this with some women (not many), and they feel a snipped appearance is more appealing. I'm glad my parents made that decision when I was young enough not to remember the procedure.

Quick update. The surgery has been delayed due to complications (infection near the glans and tissue that doesn't look healthy) according to the surgeon. Long story short: a more complex operation is needed with a 12-18 week recovery period. The bright side? I hadn't realized how severe the infection was. Honestly, I'm quite sad. We were both enjoying our chastity journey which had reignited our love life, and now I face three to four months of downtime. I worry my wife's interest may fade (again) by the time I recover.

Update: think before you act. It has been a month and finally, I've passed the stage where I fear any bleeding might occur. I have had intercourse with my wife; wow, it felt scarier than fun for both of us. I spent one night in the HT2 device, but truthfully, it will take at least another month before we are fully back in the game. I believe what I did was right—the trial night went okay without edema issues, but this is still major surgery for an adult.