Keyholders' Right to Self-Pleasure

On my blog I shared our perspective on whether a keyholder has the right to masturbate. … -cant.html I got quite a few emails calling it unfair, but surprisingly many more emails and comments came in, particularly from men wearing chastity devices who didn’t mind. What do you all think?

I read your blog post and don't have an issue with it. As you explained, a woman can experience one orgasm after another without affecting her feelings for her partner, whereas when men do it, it tends to be a single event that allows him to move on. I personally use my device to curb my masturbation while staying intimate with my wife.

I think it is very attractive and likely quite normal. The message seems clear—this benefits me more than you. Just thinking about getting hard in my device does the trick. Well done to both of you.

> member_af785d7bae wrote: > On my blog I shared our perspective on whether a keyholder has the right to masturbate. > ... -cant.html > > I got quite a few emails calling it unfair, but surprisingly many more emails and comments came in, particularly from men wearing chastity devices who didn't mind. What do you all think? I read this post and found it completely accurate... nothing about it is unfair at all. My only issue is that MrsL was raised in a strict Catholic home and doesn't masturbate! I really wish she would!

If I could manage it, I would masturbate three or four times a day, so the cage is absolutely essential to stop that. I certainly don't have nearly enough desire to please my Queen when I am not in chastity and feeling on edge. In our house, if my Queen masturbates, I feel devastated, simply because I wish it were me between her legs giving her pleasure. It has even been used as a punishment where I must sit at the foot of the bed, watching quietly without saying a word while she pleasures herself. One thing is certain: MrsK can have as many orgasms as she likes with no negative effect on her libido the next day. In contrast, if I have an orgasm, it will be weeks or months before I even want to consider chastity again. This is why we have been in long-term lock from the start, aiming for 24/7/365 confinement.

> member_452383d765 wrote: > I read this post and found it completely accurate... nothing about it is unfair at all. My only issue is that MrsL was **raised in a strict Catholic home and doesn't masturbate**! I really wish she would! LOL, Mrs. Twisted was the same way, but I took her away from all of that (bonus points if you get the reference). She now considers herself a "Recovering Catholic" after I opened her eyes to the inconsistencies and illogicalities inherent in that particularly insidious form of mental subjugation. While traveling recently, during a phone conversation she delightedly informed me that she thought she had broken her favorite vibrator through vigorous use... and it turned out she indeed rendered it defunct.

I don't know if I was doing something wrong with my life, but where on earth does anyone find enough time to wank several times a day? :shock:

> member_381064b05f wrote: > I don't know if I was doing something wrong with my life, but where on earth does anyone find enough time to wank several times a day? It's like any other addiction; Tom, if you are obsessed with it, you will find the time. If life gets in the way, you become irritable or cranky. I know this because we were on that path of destruction before I got the nerve and courage to confess all my self-centered sexual activities. Katie, your blog is spot on. I now realize after several periods of denial and being allowed an orgasm that I do have a major attitude change post-orgasm. I become what we call the Neanderthal man for about a week to 10 days. However, the more orgasms my wife has, the stronger her sex drive becomes; there is no drop in desire or emotion as with males. Needless to say, I see no problem with how she gets that orgasm—whether masturbation or oral, she deserves an orgasm whenever she wants. As I said in my answer to Tom, we were on a path to destruct our marriage because of my self-centered sexual activities before chastity and denial. Thankfully she didn't just walk away when I confessed everything; over two years later, we are both happier than ever in this lifestyle. Presently, we are on our longest period of denial, and I have no idea when it will end. I'll definitely tell her about your blog as it may help with the occasional guilt feelings she has regarding denying my orgasm. Usually, her guilt goes away if the Neanderthal man is mentioned.

Personally I think it's hot. She has told me she does masturbate, which is a new thing for her. Before chastity we never talked much about sex, let alone masturbation.

My wife masturbates whenever she wants to and I have never had a problem with that. Sometimes she just wants to fantasize about being with a woman instead of having me there in the room with her. We do not have intercourse or oral, and haven't for a very long time, so masturbation has been our main form of sex between us without problems. Sometimes we did it together and at other times alone. Sometimes I assist her and sometimes I just sit quietly and watch. My wife has a nice vibrator collection, even waterproof ones. She even had one turn on in our checked luggage once before learning to remove the batteries first.

IMO a KH has the absolute right to masturbate whenever or wherever she feels like it, whether I am allowed to be part of it or not. In our situation it's not even a topic; she will use her vibrator whenever she wants—it's not about me, it's all about her, and chastity ensures I play by her rules...

Yes, all this is part of the... fun(?). We even have a rule that her orgasm sets back mine by a day or more depending on how involved I am (contract here: ... nship.html)