Survey: Who decided on the lock-up and why is it happening?

I realize these queries might be a bit specific. The actual dynamic between partners is likely less straightforward than that. Nevertheless, I suspect most of us — if we really dug deep enough — could identify the single answer that best describes our situation.

Alternatively, you might design a set of survey questions that allows others to fit their experiences without forcing them into such tight constraints. ;)

> member_381064b05f wrote: > Alternatively, you might design a set of survey questions that allows others to fit their experiences without forcing them into such tight constraints. > >;) Hmm. Perhaps. But people seem to be managing fine with it. I imagine most men could select *one* option as the closest description of their relationship, even if it isn't an exact match. You can never completely remove observer bias, though. As Werner Heisenberg noted, "What we see is not nature itself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning." Thus far, my approach confirms what I have always suspected. When a man finds himself locked up, it is likely his own idea.:)

The question fails to consider the shifts in attitudes, positions, or reasons that may have happened over the substantial number of years some of us have spent doing this. For example, more than a decade ago, I was the one who brought up the idea with Mrs. Twisted. She seemed to enjoy the 'Game', so during a time when she wasn't strictly chastity-bound, I set things up so that she had the power to initiate and enforce a 'chastity period' if she wanted (along with the ability to extend it, potentially leading to permanency). Now, for the last several sessions over the past half-dozen years or so, every lock-up has been at her insistence, which is why I selected that option.

It started as my idea to begin teasing and denial. My wife then decided to lock me up when I admitted that I couldn't last quite as long as she desired on the honor system. This arrangement works well for us in several ways, including our advancing age, erectile issues, my wife's dislike of any penetration, her preference for vaginal stimulation over penile focus. Chastity allows my wife to have orgasms without having to constantly attend to my penis. I mostly get handjobs, so I'm not missing out much. However, my wife is experiencing the best orgasms of her life now that she can focus purely on her own pleasure rather than mine or that of her girlfriend. This marks the first time sex has been entirely about her. Masturbation control did play a role, but that was handled under the honor system during our transition into T&D and wasn't an issue when we started our chastity play.

> member_1f353e1d87 wrote: > The question fails to consider the shifts in attitudes, positions, or reasons that may have happened over the substantial number of years some of us have spent doing this. For example, more than a decade ago, I was the one who brought up the idea with Mrs. Twisted. Okay, you're right. I am approaching this essentially as a "newbie". I've been involved in femdom and S&M throughout my adult life, but chastity itself is relatively new to me. The questions lean toward that perspective [nature exposed to my method of questioning:oops: ]. Still, I believe the poll holds up. [And honestly, what I was *most* curious about was the ratio between those who chose it for themselves versus those whose partners suggested it.] I mean, you answered the question correctly: "In the beginning," it was indeed you who brought it up.

I'm not physically locked; I operate on the honor system. Though my answer reflected her desire to control my orgasms.