Living the chastity Life

Hi there, I believe I’ve come to the right spot for this question, but please let me know if I’m mistaken. Thanks in advance for any guidance.

My relationship is going very well and we’re wedding bells soon on the horizon. While I have dabbled in various fetishes, my future spouse tends toward the more traditional side, which makes perfect sense to me. She does try a few things now and then, but she steps out of her comfort zone rather quickly. The downside is that I often find myself watching specific content to satisfy those urges, and I really dislike ending up pleasuring myself in the process.

I’ve brought up chastity as an option with her before, but it was a bit hard for her to grasp conceptually. Is there a way I can pursue this on my own without making too big of a deal out of it? We are very open with each other, and I want to ensure that when we are together, my attention is fully on her.

I’ve looked at several articles suggesting different approaches for explaining it to partners, but so far she hasn’t quite warmed up to the idea. Any suggestions would be really helpful.

Thank you!

I'd suggest getting a copy of "When someone you love is kinky" by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. It's a gentle, straightforward read that clarifies what people gain from their kinks, showing how they aren't as unusual or extreme as one might think. If she likes that book, the next step could be a newer keyholder guide, such as those written by Lucy Fairbourne or Sarah Jameson. These are concise and easy to digest without getting bogged down in too much detail, which can sometimes deter readers. Regarding Georgia Ivey, while I personally enjoy her work, my view—just that—is that her books might be a bit intense for *really* traditional types because she delves deeper into topics like humiliation and cuckolding. There are also several blogs out there offering interesting viewpoints.

I feel the bedroom is the ideal starting point for introducing a kink. Have you presented it as just another sex toy that allows you to enjoy your side of things while she remains in her usual comfort zone? It seems like an excellent middle ground.

Do you already have a device prepared? If so, I'd recommend setting up a trial period for her to see what's actually involved. During that time, my wife mostly just made sure the device wasn't causing me pain. Over six weeks, she realized just how eager I was to please her! Afterward, she happily took possession of the key and we've been going strong since. My wife isn't strictly traditional, but neither is she a dominant force who demands control, so this lifestyle works well for us. Your main task during the trial phase is to avoid being pushy. If she wants intimacy, let her have it; all that teasing and denial can come later on. The first time my wife saw me with an attempted erection creating a prominent bulge under the device, she couldn't stop laughing. Now I get teased regularly, sometimes just for a few seconds each day, because she enjoys watching my reaction. As for Georgia Ivey Green's Keyholder guide, my wife is currently reading it. She hasn't let me peek at it yet but has mentioned that while some of her ideas resonate with us, others don't quite fit.