Irony in Intimacy

My path into male chastity began because of my struggle with masturbation. For years in our marriage, my wife showed little interest in sex and never seemed to enjoy it or even want to.

The device has brought two benefits. First, it curbs my masturbation habit, which pleases us both (I used to do it secretly and felt embarrassed). Second, a surprising shift occurred: my previously uninterested wife now finds enough stimulation from her playing with my caged cock that she begins masturbating while we are intimate.

To me, this is ironic, funny, and attractive. The first time I saw it, I was quite surprised. Here I am locked away, unable to touch myself, while my wife takes care of herself enthusiastically. Seeing her enjoy freedom from inhibitions gave me a big thrill.

Now, it’s become routine during our lovemaking. I chuckle at the contrast with how things used to be.

That sounds fascinating; I’m happy to learn you’re benefiting from chastity while her libido rises. One question: when the two of you are intimate, do you penetrate? ("*There I was **locked up**, unable to touch myself, and my wife was going to town on herself having a great time.*")

No, she detests penetration. She has always hated it, and that dislike caused us significant trouble for several years. I felt bitter because she disliked sex (I believed sexual connection HAD to involve penetrative intercourse), while she resented me for constantly desiring what she loathed. This is precisely why chastity has been so beneficial. She keeps me locked up during our intimate moments, and she loves the arrangement. Adjusting to having sex without erections or orgasms was difficult initially, but I valued my wife’s changes enough to persist. There were times when I desperately craved an erection and release, and she would relent. However, afterward things felt off for a month or two until we returned to keeping me locked. After some recent wonderful sessions with the cage on, we both agreed that permanent chastity is right for me. Once released from the device, my craving for intercourse becomes so strong that I maneuver her however I can to get it. From now on, the cage stays put. No more erections or orgasms for me, but our sex life remains steady and happy.

We entered chastity for similar reasons. My wife realized she enjoys teasing and denying me. However, she prefers that I not wear the Jailbird during sex. She loves edging me repeatedly; when I start moaning, her arousal spikes significantly. She either directs me to perform oral sex on her or picks up a vibrator. She reaches climax quickly and reports experiencing the most intense orgsams of her life at age 64. She just walked into my man cave nude for her shower after all that. Daily teasing has reignited her sexual interest. The catch is that she doesn't want me to have an orgasm, as it takes another two to three weeks to bring me back to the state she prefers. For our fourth year together, we agreed on at least two orgasms annually, though I suspect this number may increase because she gets carried away trying to make me moan more and often forgets to stop in time.

> member_517e8b9874 wrote: > We started chastity for the same reasons as you. My wife discovered that she loves teasing and denying me. She does not want me wearing the Jailbird during sex though. She loves to edge me over and over and when I start moaning she gets extremely turned on and either tells me to go down on her or she grabs a vibrator. She cums in a few seconds and says she is having the most intense orgsams in her life and she is 64. She just came into my man cave naked and ready for her shower. She loves to tease me every day. It has sparked her interest in sex again. Problem is that she does not want me to have an orgasm because then it takes another 2-3 weeks to get me to the point where she likes me to be. Our arrangement for year 4 is at least two orgasms a year, although I think she will give me more because she gets over excited at times and tries to get me to moan more and more and forgets to stop in time. I hope our sex life remains as strong as yours when we reach our sixties. We are currently mid-thirties. Keeping the cage on during intercourse isn't for everyone, but my wife prefers teasing with it secured. If I’m locked up and she stimulates my balls or strokes my perineum, I can get quite vocal and wet. Like your wife, she loves bringing me to that edge (and I enjoy it too!). Additionally, there is a practical reason: when uncaged, I simply cannot make love without inserting myself inside her vagina. So we keep the cage on. I wear it around the clock to manage masturbation urges. She doesn't FORCE me; everything is voluntary and mutually agreed upon.

My wife exclusively wanted PIV sex—very traditional—and perhaps because of my masturbation habits and porn consumption, I wasn't always meeting her needs. I quit those habits and began my chastity journey. Now, our intimacy consists mostly of me performing oral on her or her receiving manual stimulation from me, and she seems to be enjoying the best orgasms ever. She rarely requests PIV sex anymore, resolving a long-standing point of contention between us. Instead, she has come to understand that I don't need reciprocal physical release. I believe previously she only agreed to intercourse to get relief so I would stop bothering her, but now our dynamic is much more relaxed and frequent. We are still addressing her guilt about whether I am enjoying the experience, which we are working through together. Regardless, she is definitely deriving far more pleasure in bed. What a difference.

Our story mirrors yours. While she watched TV on the sofa, I would watch porn on my laptop. I wasn't necessarily masturbating then, but she disliked that I seemed constantly aroused. Meanwhile, her interest in sex waned significantly. We used to have intercourse every night before bed. Eventually, it dropped down to once a week. Now, she experiences orgasms frequently, and I delight in seeing her take charge of this aspect of our relationship.

I find myself in the same spot; without my cage, my wife is barely interested. But with it on, she transforms into someone else entirely. She was quite vanilla when we first met, but now that I am caged, she accommodates nearly all of my fetishes.

> member_fa8fc41168 wrote: > Our story is similar. I would watch porn on my laptop as she watched tv. I wouldn't be masterbating but she didn't like how I would be turned on all the time. All the while she had lost a lot of interest in sex. We used to have sex every night as we went to bed. Then it turned into a once a week thing. > Now she has orgasms all the time and I enjoy seeing her in control of something in our relationship. Do you still watch porn? How does she feel about your situation now that you are caged?

I do, but less frequently since most of my attention is focused on her.