What occurred with my erection?

I’m looking for theories, hunches, and suggestions. This might lean more toward the health of older men than into chastity itself, but I appreciate your take.

I had a strange weekend where my wife let me unlock so I could penetrate her as a way to edge. The first try was close; just before it happened, my erection simply vanished. It went flat with no sign of returning. That ended the session.

My wife didn’t re-lock me because we miscommunicated (she assumed I was sore and needed rest, while I thought the locking period had finished), so for the remainder of the weekend I remained unlocked and free. At some point during that freedom, I started wondering why my edging stopped abruptly and began testing myself. I couldn’t get an erection. Approaching 50, middle age feels like it has me in a tight hold, yet I’ve never struggled with getting hard before now. It started to panic me.

All day long, I attempted just to achieve an erection through different kinds of stimulation—lingerie photos, whatever had worked for me previously but seemed ineffective today. Saturday and the night into Sunday were stressful because uncertainty weighed on me; I wasn’t sure what was happening or if it was serious. I kept quiet about it with my wife, focusing on breathing through the anxiety while hoping things would improve. Today felt peculiar, though tomorrow might be better.

What occurred?

On Sunday, I overslept a little and didn’t push myself to dwell too much on this new problem. We attended church, had lunch out, returned home, did some yard work in humid heat, showered, and finally relaxed around 4pm for the first time. That’s when my thoughts turned back to what happened and whether I’d need a doctor’s consultation if it persisted. Stress.

My wife pointed out that we were alone again and asked, “You didn’t lock back up after yesterday morning. Are you ready now? I’m not finished with you.” I explained that she hadn’t told me to re-lock since she held the control. If there was an issue, I’d tell her. Her directive was short: “I want you locked up.”

Just like that! My brain processed those words and my erection appeared instantly. I smiled broadly—perhaps too much for the moment—but neither of us noticed it. I’m physically fine; the plumbing works perfectly. No history of this, clearly just a few words from my wife resolved everything.

What occurred?

I re-locked myself and asked her if she saw any ‘deposit’ when we were edging me on Saturday (she hadn’t), wondering if perhaps I’d had an accidental ruined orgasm. Unlikely, possibly, but that wouldn’t account for the rest of my day.

What occurred?

Thoughts?

It’s entirely mental. Seriously. It is clearly not a physical issue, which means it stems from your mind. Whether stress and other elements are combining in complex ways is hard to pinpoint via an online forum. The last time my wife and I were intimate, after she reached her climax, my erection faded away:o . But it always returns without trouble.

Stress kills the erection. And yes, it is all in your mind. The more you focus on failing to get hard, the more pressure builds up inside yourself. It creates a vicious cycle that drains you. I’ve been there myself. Add the daily pressures of modern life and it’s no surprise we end up limp and unable to perform. It is remarkable how just a few words from your key holder can let some of that tension escape, allowing both brain and body to wake up fully.:D Thank you for sharing this experience!

I have struggled with ED for a long time and agree with the others that you have likely psych-ed yourself out of it. If these symptoms appeared suddenly, you are probably not dealing with physical ED. I imagine this is similar to someone worrying about losing sleep so much that they stay awake. That said, your age makes ED quite possible, especially if recent medical or bodily changes like weight gain or high blood pressure have occurred. Increased stress could also play a part. A doctor would be the best person to consult. Even chastity itself might be contributing. If you stop doing pushups for a while, you won’t manage as many reps beforehand and your shoulders may ache afterward.