14005 What Am I About To Do?

The path ahead. What will my experience look like? Will I even manage to start? It’s uncertain.

I’ve been exploring and considering chastity for about a year and a half, though I haven’t kept strict track of time. My objective is straightforward: stop masturbating. My wife and our sexual routine are very predictable; we have intercourse once a week on the weekend. The issue is that after that weekly session, I find myself unable to resist jacking off during Monday through Wednesday, perhaps even Thursday, before waiting for the next weekend. It frustrates me because I want all my orgasms with her.

I attempted self-trial using an inexpensive Chinese device around six to eight months ago but found it too easy to escape from. Next, I tried a vice (similar to a CB model but featuring a mechanism meant to prevent pullout). That was also fairly simple to bypass. Recently, however, I visited and combined their product with the vice unit. So far, it is completely inescapable—which matters greatly since I am skilled at finding loopholes and would cheat if given the chance.

Today marks a somewhat unique moment for me. Although I’ve been ready to commit to chastity, I hesitated because my previous two devices were easily escapable. Knowing that I will inevitably masturbate whenever possible unless truly secured, there seemed little point in raising the subject with my wife until now. She is away today, possibly overnight.

I wanted to experience what it feels like wearing an unbreakable device without a key within reach. Before she left, I concealed her keys and tools (the tether uses a tool as its key) inside her car trunk. By midday, however, my urethra began feeling sore (though it has improved since). Initially, I thought I would simply remove the unit to try again on another day. The tether is designed for release using a specific Allen wrench size. I considered whether small pliers might suffice instead.

No luck. Although I was determined to give up and get out of it—and did genuinely try—it didn’t work. I am securely locked in, and I quite enjoy the sensation. Since I cannot free myself easily, I am eager to bring this delicate matter up with my wife soon.

The core issue for me stems from an affair that occurred a few years ago; leaving her behind has been difficult. Fortunately, she lives in another state so we have no contact now. However, images of her appear frequently online, making it effortless to view her picture and masturbate while looking at it (a great way to prolong the discomfort, by the way). Thus, those pictures served as a form of pornography for me, even though I am not particularly fond of watching porn.

To summarize the complicated situation briefly: 1) My place is with my wife; I love her and have chosen to remain committed. 2) Affairs are EXTREMELY damaging. Do not pursue one unless you truly intend to leave your current life for this new person. Often, YOU end up being the most hurt (as was my case—it exceeded expectations significantly). After testing numerous apps and methods, I finally managed to block all her images online about two weeks ago, which substantially reduced my desire for her. Combined with not being able to masturbate except in conjunction with my wife (soon), I feel confident moving forward into this new chapter.

I realize it won’t be effortless. This might not be a perfect solution. Still, I am optimistic. My first concern is the device itself. Security is paramount; the tether provides that assurance. However, urethral soreness can occur, especially when inserting or removing it—it can be almost grueling earlier on but improves as my body adapts over time. It’s made of high-grade stainless steel, so hopefully there will be no reaction in such a sensitive area.

My second concern is the reality of living this way. What will it truly feel like? I suppose we won’t know until she tries it with me too. How did many of you feel just before attempting chastity with your partner? Apprehensive? Excited? I suspect I am feeling both.

Regarding approaching my wife… I may create another post asking questions, use the search function, or likely do both. There are certainly many threads on this topic available. We will be traveling extensively over the next two months, so I might shelve further discussion until afterward. Alternatively, I could speak to her within the next day or two. It remains unclear.

I hope to remain locked during daytime hours but free at night while sleeping beside my wife. I appreciate seeing her naked. My goal is increased frequency with her, not decreased intimacy—but exclusively with her. Rather than our current pattern of one time weekly with her and five or six times solo, I aim for twice a week together.

I really like the idea of her holding the keys and maintaining control while I remain sexually submissive. Yet, I do not want her to become so dominant that she loses interest in having sex with me or leaves me locked for weeks or months on end. My ultimate objective is regular sexual connection solely with her.

**Update:** On Friday, I approached my wife regarding chastity. Like many of you likely have been, I was quite nervous. Fortunately, she was in a good mood that day as we were preparing for date night. I thought it would be the perfect moment to just try this; I had grown weary of merely thinking about it while keeping it from her. I had drafted a letter several weeks prior specifically for this occasion and revised it countless times. The wording felt slightly over-the-top for us personally, but I decided to go bold. Even if she rejected the proposal, I wanted her to understand some of the language I had selected. "Honey, can you come to the living room for a moment?" "Sure," she replied, sitting on the couch. I handed her the keys: "These are yours now." "What are these?" she asked. "You’ll see shortly." I passed her the letter. As she began giggling and laughing out loud, I undressed in front of her to reveal myself and the device currently worn. Her expression showed bewilderment mixed with astonishment. Up until that point, I felt things might go well. After reading through the letter and taking a minute or two to examine my husband’s manhood, her demeanor shifted, and she flatly rejected the idea. I offered explanations and reasons why I wished to really try this out. She responded with "maybe" and suggested we discuss it later once I removed the device for now. Date night proceeded nicely (we visited our favorite restaurant), and we enjoyed ourselves. The sexual encounter that evening was quite good—more experimental than usual and notably more passionate than normal, undoubtedly due to the unresolved mixed emotions both of us were experiencing. On Saturday, while riding home from shopping, she suddenly said out of nowhere: "I don’t think I can handle this thing with you. It makes me feel like I am not enough for you, that something is wrong." I replied something along the lines of, "There’s nothing wrong; I love you very much. I thought we could do this just for fun." "Oh, OK," she said. "As long as it remains a positive thing, we can try it." Wow! The shift from unilateral rejection to enthusiastic acceptance happened within about thirty seconds. Women are fickle creatures, although mine is generally level-headed and not overly emotional. For her to flip so quickly was unusual. She had work commitments requiring two days and nights away, and we agreed that I would remain locked during her absence. Here I am on Monday, finally secured inside the device. It has been interesting thus far. Things started off well; there wasn’t much conversation over Sunday afternoon as she prepared to leave. Later that evening after traveling concluded, we spoke by phone. Following pleasant conversation, I gave her a quick "thank you" and expressed my love again. She then mentioned being glad that I seemed happy but noted it felt weird and admitted she doesn’t particularly like the situation all that much yet. So perhaps this whole endeavor could turn out to be a brief adventure. Likely, I will need to persist and somewhat strong-arm her into acceptance using tactics such as "please do it for me; I really want this," or reminding her that "you don’t have to do much—just hold the key." I wonder if I truly wish to pursue those strategies though. Will she adapt? Will she eventually accept it, maybe even grow fond of it over time? It remains uncertain. Any thoughts from anyone else who has had similar experiences? Returning to Sunday night: despite my earlier optimism that things fit well together, the soreness returned late in the evening. I attempted once more to remove the device, and both to my relief and disappointment, succeeded with help from some small pliers before going to bed. Currently, I feel more determined than at any point in over twenty-five years to stop masturbating. For now, that determination is enough for me to voluntarily remain contained. Inserting and removing it causes pain and takes time, which provides a helpful buffer against impulsive relief and serves as incentive not to wank. Working from home with long hours means only seconds of temptation arise before I might reach down involuntarily and commit myself back into something about my life that bothers me slightly—seeking immediate gratification rather than what I desire for the longer term. This morning, I resisted the urge to relieve myself and then reinserted the device manually. I am experimenting with different sizes for some components of the equipment; perhaps this adjustment will alleviate the soreness? After about two hours back inside, it feels acceptable though a slight discomfort is already setting in again—we shall see. **Reflection:** I spent recent days reflecting on my life circumstances. Here is a somewhat pathetic list of statistics reading almost like a confession: 1) I do not believe I have ever gone more than two weeks without an orgasm (though whether this inherently helps or hurts depends upon context). 2) My longest period without masturbation may have reached three to four weeks, but only because as newlyweds we were having sex very frequently—multiple times per week. Once our married routine settled into a pattern of once weekly, the habit of wanking returned. 3) Since then, my longest stretch without masturbating was roughly two weeks—a rather weak record for eighteen years of marriage. 4) In 2017 alone, I do not believe I have experienced even one instance where I had an orgasm with my wife without first having masturbated several times in between. Meaning never once has our weekend sex been followed by a full week until the next visitation with her. I wish to share intercourse with my wife and then immediately know that when my next orgasm arrives, it too will be shared with her later on. Similarly, whenever that moment occurs again, I want satisfaction both from having waited patiently and from feeling closeness and faithfulness toward her. The trouble lies in my inability simply to wait; often the bigger problem is thinking of another woman while masturbating. This feels like a turning point in my life somehow. Either circumstances will shift favorably, or I may surrender myself once more as I have done previously. I do not want to spend my remaining years merely wanking toward images of women who are not my wife—it seems foolish and unsatisfying. If anyone is still reading this far down, please excuse the somewhat depressing conclusion to this post. But since this functions effectively as a journal forum offering space for sharing thoughts aloud, I am grateful simply to have expressed myself here.

No longer relevant since the thread has been moved.

14005, You might want to read this post from our co-proprietor: ... ty-device/ > ...the very best chastity device is the one between your ears. I know (trust me), the idea of being forced against your will to remain locked and horny is a significantly powerful fantasy, but it is just that. A fantasy. You, as the man being locked up, have to be invested in staying locked up. That means, you need to have the will power not to cheat and slip out the back for a quick wank when nobody’s looking. If you can’t do that, then don’t even bother with anything else. Don’t even bother your partner with the idea. Chances are very good you want to be locked up. So let yourself be and don’t fuck it up.