Beard My Journey into Chastity Begins

Where do I even start? Where does one begin?

This weekend marks six weeks of chastity for me. It all kicked off during sex when my wife playfully declared, “No, you don’t get to cum!” She was just teasing, but at the moment, it hit me hard and turned me on more than I expected. After a bit of hesitation, I worked up the nerve to ask her to tease and deny me until my birthday—roughly two weeks later.

It was incredible. As those two weeks approached, I wanted even more. However, when we talk face-to-face about sex, I suffer from pretty severe anxiety. Asking her to keep me in chastity on a regular basis proved difficult—not because of anything she did or said, but due to my own messed-up brain wiring.

My birthday arrived, and she suggested waiting until the weekend for me to cum. Since we both have busy lives, we usually save it for the weekends to make up for lost time. I happily agreed, hoping this would give me enough time to gather the courage to tell her how I felt… And then she got sick right when I was sure I was ready. By the time she recovered, my confidence wavered again.

Long story short, I took the easy way out and sent an email. Yes, you read that correctly: I asked my wife to keep me in chastity via email. She said yes! Through emails, I requested it and got put into a cage. She was actually quite enthusiastic about it too.

So, my period extended from two weeks to two months (until Valentine’s Day). It feels like a long start compared to some blogs here, but why not go big?

I’ve struggled hard these past few days. We’re currently on the honor system. Even mentioning getting caged again right now would be too much for me. But without one, temptation is always lurking! Valentine’s Day will definitely be a milestone. Wish me luck!

Going cage-free works well, but it requires effort from both of you to adjust your habits, and it takes a serious amount of time along with inevitable setbacks. That's been my experience at least. I'd say play it by ear. If she is on board with daily check-ins and working with you to change your behavior, that path works for her. If that feels like too much effort and she eventually just wants to lock you up and forget about it until she needs release, go for that route as long as you are content with the result. Congratulations on starting this journey! Good luck, and always remember to have fun!

So far, it's been a freaking dream come true. What do you mean by daily check-ins? Right now, the arrangement involves weekly teasing on weekends. However, I don't know which specific day ahead of time. No masturbation unless she gives permission. We haven't discussed self-edging yet.

Daily check-ins, or touchpoints, can help with intimacy and also support orgasm denial. In our case, just before bed, my husband asks me how I did that day. If I didn’t stroke, he praises me and tells me to keep it up. If I did, he reminds me of the rule, asks what happened, and if necessary, we brainstorm solutions for next time—usually at the nearest opportunity. Then I tell him I give myself to him, he shares himself with me, and we go to bed. We have a few other daily touchpoints that aren't overtly kinky: In the morning, taking a moment to say good morning and ask how the night was; around noon, sending each other a text to see how things are going; when we return from work, welcoming each other home and asking about their day. These are literal physical connections as well. They’ve been immensely helpful for us. It’s just these tiny moments of goodwill and care. For denial specifically, being asked nightly how I did slowly changed my behavior. I wanted the praise more than I wanted to stroke.

Friday at last! Today and yesterday were actually pretty easy regarding horniness. I was starting to think my body was just getting used to the constant denial. Then tonight came, and while rubbing her feet (which I do nightly now), I started getting super horney. Like really HORNEY! (I'm not into feet by the way). I didn't say anything because she was getting ready for bed; to her, it looked like just a foot rub. For me, yes, it started as that but ended up being something else. Afterwards... well, I edged myself about six times. Fun fact: edging is amazing... but it does NOT lessen the desperate need to cum. It makes it worse. Yes, I knew this when I did it, but I couldn't help myself. By the end, I was a quivering mess. My balls feel SO full! Gods! Two months is a VERY lofty goal for one's first time in chastity. I feel a little guilty though, because I'm not sure if edging is allowed this weekend. This weekend, I definitely need to ask. I hope she says it's okay, at least occasionally. But if she doesn't want me doing it, then I'll do everything in my power not to.

You gotta ascertain the rules Beard! My KH, T, does NOT want me edging because she knows I lose control—which is exactly what happened last week. That was the reason for just a properly ruined orgasm over the weekend and nothing since. It’s been 10 days since that mistake, and I am desperate too. But isn't that part of this amazing kink? There’s no telling if I’ll get to come this weekend (I’m working away from home right now, and Tuesday last week proved I can only control myself by being caged), but T has already made it clear she WILL come! I look forward to making that happen 😛 Hang in there. I love reading your updates and recognizing those same feelings and emotions 👍