A separate path forward now

I’ve been lurking these last couple of days. It’s been a while since I was active. Belle and I have weathered quite a lot over the past few years, with chastity not really being part of our routine. From discovering that I’m likely a porn/sex addict to realizing I might also be bi-sexual, it has been quite a ride. We did some therapy for a while, things got better, then settled into blah, and now we feel a bit lost. I’ve decided to jump back into chastity but approach it differently this time. I’m doing it solo. I’m tired of the depression that follows masturbation, and since Belle’s sex drive is extremely low, the gap between us feels too wide to bridge easily. I’m entering this with a different mindset. I don’t want to lock up just for the kink factor; I want to ‘put it away’. I know how difficult that might be, but I’m going to give it a shot. Previously I had a jailbird that was too large and a contender device that fit almost perfectly. Somehow when we moved a couple of years ago, the cage for the contender disappeared… awkwardly enough… so now I am in the market again. I have read many good things about dhgate devices here and I’m contemplating going that route. Possibly checking out the cherry keeper option as well. Not sure yet. In the meantime it will be the honor system, which might actually be better to start with since the device often seems to call attention to the situation and make me horny, which is exactly what I would like to avoid right now. I am also considering taking an herbal supplement that one of my therapists advised. I stopped using it when I found that it muted my orgasms. Doesn’t sound like such a bad thing anymore. I’m fairly certain that chastity either started or worsened my sex addiction in the first place, and I understand this may well backfire, but I’m hoping maybe without the tease, the denial will have a different effect.

Welcome back, looks like it's been a few years.

@jnuts Hey! I'll agree... Locking up one's equipment often just makes you focus on it more. But it's certainly worth a shot.

> Tom Allen wrote: ↑Mon Aug 30, 2021 8:00 am > @jnuts > Hey! > I'll agree... Locking up one's equipment often just makes you focus on it more. But it's certainly worth a shot. I know. Still has me debating on what to do. I think a lot of it has to do with expectations too. If you are locking up expecting to be teased, the device teases you even when your KH is not present. I’m wondering if going into it with a different purpose and expectation in mind will make things different. Will be an interesting experiment I guess.

@jnuts I also found that initially, locking up the junk drew my attention to it, physically and mentally. The honour system didn't work for me, as I have no self discipline when it comes such matters. So, it was back to locking up, which is a better option for me. I hope you find a solution that works for you. Best of luck on your journey

I ordered a Cherry Keeper last night. I’m hoping it works as well as the reviews say. The lighter weight and ability to make things stay put will go a long way towards setting it and forget it if I can get the size right.

> jnuts wrote: ↑Tue Aug 31, 2021 8:02 am > I ordered a Cherry Keeper last night. I’m hoping it works as well as the reviews say. The lighter weight and ability to make things stay put will go a long way towards setting it and forget it if I can get the size right. Did you get the headlock? I don't turtle or slip out, you can even get the permalock. That way you are stuck in chastity until you drill yourself out.

Yes I got a short with a large headlock. I saw the permalocks but with my luck I would drill through the device or something even more fragile. Keeping locked up has never been a problem for me anyway. I have always had a copy of my key for emergencies. Cheating always seemed to defeat the purpose when I was the one asking for it.

So like a typical woman I thrown a monkey wrench into his plans. When he told me about his plans to do chastity on his own, I was sure what to think. At first I was okay with it, being that I am constantly busy with some aspect of work or children, then I kinda became sad. I don’t want to not be a part of such a large part of his life. I know when the new device comes I am going to want to play with it…so here we go again! Keyholding is difficult for me, so I was looking for inspiration and ended up back here at my old “home”.

@Belle Welcome back! This place hasn't changed much. New names, but the same comfortable ambiance

Welcome back, both of you! Good to see you posting again and good luck with the new device.

New device is complete and shipping.

Welcome, I also truly hope you find success at this. Some of the stories on here are just amazing. There is plenty of hope and support here for you to find the version of chastity that works for you both.. Seems that it’s rather “liquid” and changes over the years.. Have fun!!

I’m locked up. I’m assuming there will be no erections with this device. It is pretty small. Getting a little discomfort and I may have to lube up. Will see how things go.

Holy Hiatus Batman. We have been off and on...mostly off since my last post. I wore the Cherry Keeper for a while but it had to be taken off constantly for cleaning because of the material and it took me forever to get it back on. It lost its luster quickly and the "ripping my balls off" became too much. I looked into other types of devices and ended up just not. Then we decided to start up again. Honor system for a while until my new device arrived. Another Cherry Keeper. Larger ring and this time vapor polished so it is non-porous! I have been wearing it almost 48 hours. Last night I slept like a baby and didn't wake up once. It fits like a glove and there has been no discomfort at all the two nights I have spent in it. So happy! I'm just extremely happy in general. Belle and I are working out together and eating healthy. Working together as a team to get where we need to be. I'm loving life. I'm like 15 days into my cycle and there doesn't seem to be any end in sight. Totally at peace with that.