The Start

After many years of an amazing relationship, things started to slip away. Sex dropped to maybe once a month; I blame my hand, laziness, and other factors. One day after masturbating too often, I began researching. I had never thought much about chastity cages before—I’d seen them in various sex clubs I frequented—but they kindled my interest. After reading quite a bit, I suddenly became really excited about the idea. I ordered several models; most didn’t fit well at first, but after a few weeks of trying different ones, I found one that fits reasonably well and started wearing it secretly. Following a week-long successful trial run, I decided it was time to ask my girlfriend to become my key holder. Seems easy enough, right? Not exactly. My girlfriend is very attractive with somewhat vanilla tendencies, but she turned out fine for a long period. After trying cages and restraint myself to prevent masturbation, one day I went wild during oral sex; my gf loves having her ass licked and probed by my tongue. A few days later, I decided it was time. I confessed in an easily acceptable way that getting caged and locked would be great for both of us. This is totally outside anything we have ever discussed regarding sex. After I asked her to hold the key, she replied, “What is a key holder?” After my explanation, she giggled for about 30 seconds and then asked, “Do you have it? Are you ready?” Slightly shocked, I said I needed one last test at the gym, but we would start the day after next. During that conversation, I committed myself to being locked until next year, and I intend to keep my promise. It is now the 2nd day after the initial lock up, and I am feeling great. I hope with time my gf will learn to exercise her power over me. Any advice on how to ease her into becoming a true key holder would be appreciated. Honestly, some sort of switch flipped inside me, and I just can’t wait, but I know I have to be patient.

I wish you well. We will look forward to hearing of your exploits. Lots of good info here. You’ll find your way!

> Timc wrote: ↑Wed Nov 17, 2021 6:26 pm > After i asked her to be my key holder, she replied "what is a key holder"? After explanation she giggled for about 30 seconds and asked "do you have it? Are you ready?", little bit shocked I said I need one last test at the gym, but day after next we will start. Now, during the conversation I committed myself to be locked till next year, I intend to keep my promise, 2nd day after initial lock up, feeling great, hoping with time my gf will learn to exercise her power over me. "Ease her in"? You said she 'giggled for 30 seconds' and then asked "Are you ready?" I don't know, you might need some different advice here. Maybe you should give it some time and see how it goes.

> Timc wrote: ↑Wed Nov 17, 2021 6:26 pm > After i asked her to be my key holder, she replied "what is a key holder"? After explanation she giggled for about 30 seconds and asked "do you have it? Are you ready?", little bit shocked I said I need one last test at the gym, but day after next we will start. Now, during the conversation I committed myself to be locked till next year, I intend to keep my promise, 2nd day after initial lock up, feeling great, hoping with time my gf will learn to exercise her power over me. Most new guys are asking how to get their wives or girl friends to accept the idea of chastity and get involved. Sounds like you may soon be asking how to get her to dial it back a notch or two! So....Buckle up, Buttercup, you might be in for a bumpy ride!:lol::roll:

I have a feeling she is educating herself on the subject. Secretly. I have been trying different cages for a few weeks; most of them were too small and tight to wear comfortably for long periods. Finally, I found one metal type that fits just right, though it is a bit short anyway. I did a week-long all-day test which helped me reduce my twice-daily orgasms to 2-4 per week. Now since Tuesday morning I am experiencing 24/7 no orgasm status. While I read that chastity will change my attitude, I am shocked by how I feel now. I am so ready to do daily chores that normally my gf does. Suddenly, as of yesterday she started prodding me to do more—this and that—and offering commendation. This morning she stretched out and put her feet right in front of my face, obviously expecting a massage and more attention which I gladly provided. She has never done it before, so I think it's progress.

Chastity never made me want to do chores.

Denial certainly effects me in ways I didn't expect. While I may not be driven to do "chores" specifically, I am driven to make her happy. Many of the things that make her happy are sweeping, cleaning etc. So, yep, I do much more of that. I get more interested in giving her foot rubs as well. She knows this about me, so when we started up again, she fairly gleefully said she was looking forward to a cleaner house and foot rubs...:roll: It's not been 3 weeks yet, so it really hasn't kicked in completely. I'm resisting the urges, but in another month I'll probably have lost the battle.

Never thought denial is so powerful, plus ceding control is like a new and amazing aphrodisiac. After trying the cage for weeks and worrying about how my gf will react to it, I slept next her while caged for the first night. I got a really weird involuntary orgasm; kind of reversed ruined—first came the actual feeling with no ejaculation due to the cage constraint, then after a few seconds of delay like a sprinkler popping up in the middle of a lawn, I made a huge mess all over myself. It was kind of fun but learned from the subsequent "down" period that I am better off without orgasm. She still is not exactly looking or touching my cage, but getting closer.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Fri Nov 19, 2021 7:09 am > Chastity never made me want to do chores. Chores are very much part of it for me. When we started out and She was unconvinced (very unconvinced), I read that showing her the benefits of chastity to her was a way forward, so I started doing ironing, vacuuming, cooking and clearing up. It worked, and things developed into an FLR lifestyle, so reneging is not an option for me now.

OK, three votes for chores. You guys want to come over here for a week-end? I got a bunch of chores that need doing...;)

I don’t think it works that way, although I have heard of Keyholders directing their guys to do chores for friends and family with great success.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Sat Nov 20, 2021 8:01 am > OK, three votes for chores. You guys want to come over here for a week-end? I got a bunch of chores that need doing...;) I’d totally go in on this. Just two rules. First up, I stay caged and bare while tackling your tasks, so please keep the heat running. Second rule: you cover the flight costs from the UK;-)

> Steve2059 wrote: ↑Sun Nov 21, 2021 5:13 am > > TwistedMister wrote: ↑Sat Nov 20, 2021 8:01 am > > OK, three votes for chores. You guys want to come over here for a week-end? I got a bunch of chores that need doing...;) > I would absolutely do this. Two conditions. > First, I must remain caged and naked while doing your chores, so I want the heating on. > Second, You pay the air fares from the UK;-) Oh, don’t worry about me having heat indoors... but here’s the catch: most of *my* tasks are actually outside. For instance, there's 8,000lbs of wood pellets for the stove that arrived Friday and need to be hauled up onto the porch before the weather turns. Luckily, it’s still relatively mild right now—around 39°F—but it won’t be long until we hit -25°F. You probably won’t have many spectators though; mostly just my wife and I hanging out by the stove with hot schnapplets*- we live way back in the woods (on 22 acres) without any neighbors nearby. *(Hot schnapplets—hot chocolate brewed with dark chocolate and a generous splash of Rumpleminze 100proof peppermint schnapps.) Oh, I’ll send you a check.

It’s quite the mental shift too, stepping into this new role. No longer being just the "receiver" but now the "giver," making her life easier and more enjoyable. But it’s physical as well; no more wasting waistline time on jerking off or chasing orgasms—I can redirect that energy elsewhere.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Sat Nov 20, 2021 8:01 am > OK, three votes for chores. You guys want to come over here for a week-end? I got a bunch of chores that need doing...;) I think that plan only works well, @TwistedMister, if you hold out the promise that after handling the chores for about a week, you’ll reward them with an extra special BJ ... or maybe that’s exactly what you were hinting at!

> cshorts wrote: ↑Sun Nov 21, 2021 4:12 pm > > TwistedMister wrote: ↑Sat Nov 20, 2021 8:01 am > > OK, three votes for chores. You guys want to come over here for a week-end? I got a bunch of chores that need doing...;) > I think that only works, @TwistedMister, if you dangle the expectation that after doing the chores for a week or so, you'll give them an extra special BJ ... or maybe that's what you had in mind! I’m guessing perhaps my Mrs. would handle that part... although, judging by some events from recent years, I get the sense she might find it amusing to watch *me* do it... I suppose I’ll need to tweak my plan a bit...

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Sat Nov 20, 2021 8:01 am > OK, three votes for chores. You guys want to come over here for a week-end? I got a bunch of chores that need doing...;) Lol!!

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Sat Nov 20, 2021 8:01 am > OK, three votes for chores. You guys want to come over here for a week-end? I got a bunch of chores that need doing...;) Yeah, I’ve got some tasks needing attention too. I already handle most of them, but partly because my workload has dropped significantly during the pandemic, whereas she often works overtime. Back in the day when I was grinding hard and she wasn’t working much, she took on more household duties. She’s definitely leveraged her control over my orgasms to get me to tackle things I wouldn’t usually volunteer for—sometimes it targets a specific chore or project, but generally, it just happens periodically. Plus, she won’t let me *near* the laundry...

> tammystoy wrote: ↑Mon Dec 06, 2021 11:43 am > > TwistedMister wrote: ↑Sat Nov 20, 2021 8:01 am > > OK, three votes for chores. You guys want to come over here for a week-end? I got a bunch of chores that need doing...;) > Yeah, I've got some need doing, too. I already do most of the chores, but its because I'm not working nearly as much due to the pandemic, while she frequently puts in OT. There have been times in the past when I was working a lot and she wasn't, so she picked up more of the chores. She's certainly used her control of my orgasms to get me to do things I wouldn’t normally want to, and sometimes that’s a particular chore or project, but it's something that happens from time to time. Besides, she won't let me *near* the laundry... LOL, I’ve been doing my own washing since childhood (I moved out at 15), and of course, it was essential when I enlisted in the Army...it only took one incident where I washed red union suits with white T-shirts to learn that you can’t just toss everything into the drum together. I’m not working right now either, and it seems likely I won’t be for a good while, if ever. It turns out I was already under the weather when I got my Covid booster, then things went south; a week later I spent nearly seven days in the hospital battling pneumonia and blood clots in both lungs (multiple clots). They’re saying full recovery might take another year or more, by which time I’ll be old enough to apply for Social Security.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Tue Dec 07, 2021 9:15 am > > tammystoyMon Dec 06, 2021 11:43 am > > > TwistedMisterSat Nov 20, 2021 8:01 am > > > OK, three votes for chores. You guys want to come over here for a week-end? I got a bunch of chores that need doing...;) > > Yeah, I've got some need doing, too. I already do most of the chores, but its because I'm not working nearly as much due to the pandemic, while she frequently puts in OT. There have been times in the past when I was working a lot and she wasn't, so she picked up more of the chores. She's certainly used her control of my orgasms to get me to do things I wouldn’t normally want to, and sometimes that’s a particular chore or project, but it's something that happens from time to time. Besides, she won't let me *near* the laundry... > LOL, I’ve been doing my own washing since childhood (I moved out at 15), and of course, it was essential when I enlisted in the Army...it only took one incident where I washed red union suits with white T-shirts to learn that you can’t just toss everything into the drum together. > I’m not working right now either, and it seems likely I won’t be for a good while, if ever. It turns out I was already under the weather when I got my Covid booster, then things went south; a week later I spent nearly seven days in the hospital battling pneumonia and blood clots in both lungs (multiple clots). They’re saying full recovery might take another year or more, by which time I’ll be old enough to apply for Social Security. My wife owns several shirts that look identical but each has its own specific washing and drying requirements. She decided early on it was simpler just to do the laundry herself rather than training me in her Secret Mysteries. One chore is definitely mine: keeping all our toys clean, organized, and easy to find. That means ensuring fresh batteries are available where needed once. She got annoyed before when something she wanted to use on me died mid-session and issued a couple of dire threats. I haven’t let it happen since.

Okay, regarding the chores topic.. I’ve decided that despite everything, I quite enjoy being caged. Best described as self-locking mostly on a 24/7 basis with my wife’s approval—no erection or O without her permission. No strict rules, just no solo sex for me. Whether she holds the key or not, we operate as a team; each does what needs doing. I’m curious why the switch to chores and foot rubs never quite clicked for me..? I do special things occasionally, as I always have.. Maybe if she agreed to be my official Keyholder, creating more of an actual power exchange dynamic, I suppose I could become a bit more attentive. Sex happens about once a month, sometimes twice. We’re older now, and the kink seems to benefit me more than her so far. I’m the alpha in our household. She is naturally submissive and vanilla. She may never actually take the keys, but until then, I am lovingly kept for her in my kinky state. Is that even a word? Lol.

Ok, finally returned to this forum corner. I’ve had plenty of issues with cages; the spiral-looking one worked well initially but then narrow openings caused problems. After trying two more models, I bought a new Oxy Guardian which is completely superior. Part of the issue is my size; too much compression (which by the way, I love how it feels) leads to various complications. Anyway, after three weeks out of confinement and struggling mentally to stay chaste, I’m caged again. Very timely: on Saturday two days ago, my girlfriend kind of scolded me saying "I was really hoping you’d be back in your cage," which is something I definitely did not expect shortly afterward she started asking whether I am submissive and how deep that goes. Wow, I really like where this is heading.

So after sex (I’m caged, no orgasm until next year), my girlfriend confirmed our status as stag and vixen. Then she went on complaining that she hasn’t had enough sexual contact with women; she needs a bunch of them in one room to fuck them all simultaneously. I knew she was somewhat bi but this?! Right after I was told to buy bras etc., not just sexy ones, but functional for sex (all open styles), which I happily did.