how to convince my girlfriend to lock me up and embrace the world of chastity

The other day we were sexting and at some point our conversation drifted to sex toys. I sent her several images of different items, then seized the chance to show off a chastity cage. I acted like I wasn’t sure what it was myself, hoping to see how she’d react. She seemed confused about its purpose, so she eventually googled it and read up on it. She came across reports from people who wear them and thought, “Wow, wouldn’t that hurt?” or “It probably does damage to them; how can they handle it?”

I sent her several videos about it, which drew similar reactions each time. I kept playing dumb, jokingly telling her, “The idea of my girlfriend locking up her property actually excites me.” She replied, “Yeah, all locked up haha, but what if I lose the key?” We went back and forth with jokes until they stopped, at which point she said, “I don’t want you to do that; I prefer it big and not locked up.”

She found the teasing part interesting but was also somewhat hesitant about whether it might hurt my penis and testicles. The topic eventually died down and hasn’t been mentioned since. So, how can I get her more interested in chastity and have her lock me up?

> RobSil619 wrote: ↑Tue Feb 15, 2022 9:01 pm > and i saw the opportunity to show her a chastity cage which i pretended to not know what it was > i was always playing dumb > she found the teasing part interesting but she was also kind of hesitant of it hurting my penis and testicles, the subject died down and isn't mentioned anymore since then, > so how do i get her interested more on chastity and lock me up? So, your intro post mentions that you have 2 cages. Yet, your approach has been deceitful and manipulative. Now that it's not working out as planned, are you looking for advice? Perhaps just asking how to be even *more* manipulative? 🙄 Wait a few weeks and then try this crazy tactic: "Hey babe, I can't stop thinking about you having me locked in one of those cage things. I know you had some doubts before, but I would really love for both of us to give it a try. I even bought myself a chastity cage to test wear, and there's no pain at all. I think it might be some sexy fun that we'll both enjoy. And I found a group with some great info on this topic. Can I tell you about it?" People watch so many convoluted plots on TV that they forget how well honesty works.

The sage counsel from @Tom Allen should be heeded and applied. Sex is a weird topic, and after nearly 30 years of marriage, I still get embarrassed asking my wife for things that "aren't missionary style sex." I can't say she has always been enthusiastic or even willing, but she really hates it when she finds out I have been keeping secrets from her or lying about my desires. She wants to know how I feel and what I want, and within reason, she wants to provide those things where she feels comfortable doing so. Communication is the best path to true intimacy.

I find that having my hubby tell me about things he's interested in using a bit of fantasy flair is much better than him simply saying "I want you to do this or that." It opens communication gently, and then it becomes something we can look into together. We see if I have any interest too, and try things out. @Tom Allen 's way of starting with "I can't stop thinking about..." is great because he's just telling her about something that interests him. This avoids the feeling that she has suddenly discovered some online Mistress or a locked cock situation in which you're cheating on her. There are also some great blogs and books out there that explain your interest well, which could be good gifts for her. Hope that helps and good luck!

> Lady M wrote: ↑Tue Feb 22, 2022 8:07 am > I find that having my hubby tell me in fantasy style about things he's interested in is much better than saying I want you to do this or that. It opens communication gently and then it's something we can look into together and see if I have any interest we can try things out. I've done this, too. "Hey, the other night I had a dream that you made me xxx. I've been thinking about it all week; it was kind of hot." Again, keep it honest and open... and fun.

Even if she is slow coming around to trying it, at least you are being open and honest about it. Realize too that she may take a while... maybe never read or learn the ropes; just be patient...

Ohhh having him write me stories about something that interests him or a fantasy he's had is also a way to get things out there. It creates conversation and gets you guys thinking; usually, we end up hard in our cages while writing. Hehe 😉

> Lady M wrote: ↑Wed Feb 23, 2022 12:14 pm > Ohhh having him write me stories about something that interests him or a fantasy he's had etc is also a way to get things out there and create conversation and also it gets you guys thinking and usually hard in your cages while you write. hehe 😉 Very true. I’ve written down a few for my lovely wife... she never asked, and I never gave them to her; it was just a mental download to see if maybe I could process the fantasy onto paper to minimize the brain space it was taking up. lol!

Turn it into a statement that I masturbate too much and don’t like myself doing it. I’d much rather save myself and focus on you. Could we try this? That’s what I did, and it was true... She said "get one; let's see," and my obvious change in attention and productivity made her say, "This is brilliant." It became mine to do on my terms. That was 11 years ago. It coincided with her falling pregnant with our second child. “Two’s enough. I prefer your tongue; always did really. I don’t want PIV sex; it has served its purpose.” That timing was perfect, and nice that the last picture led to creating our beautiful son. I still get 6-monthly relief sometimes sooner if I’ve excelled in things. I’m not a wimp or feeble sub type either, just a regular husband who works hard doing the chores, school run, kids' dinners, and shopping while she relates and has me pleasing her. It’s very much an FLR led arrangement that evolved slowly. I still crave an orgasm don’t get me wrong but learnt that I’m better without for a period, then we have a night of hand relief and I’m reset for another 4-6 months. Seems to work for us.