New member seeking guidance on her journey

Hi everyone, I’m new to this site and also to chastity. The focus here is on my devotion to my darling wife, for me personally. After three years of no sex because of menopause, our intimacy has woken up again. I’ve realized that giving her pleasure matters more to me than receiving it myself, so I shared with her how much I want to be caged. At first, my darling wife was surprised, but after plenty of talking, we settled into a routine: I get locked in the cage when I wake up and she takes it off before bedtime. She is still getting used to being my keyholder because she feels that having such control over another person isn’t quite right for her. She has been clear about not wanting me to wear the cage while sleeping or letting her see me wearing it during the day. She also dislikes feeling the device press against her when we cuddle up together. However, she is content knowing our entire sexual dynamic revolves around her satisfaction; this way she doesn’t have to worry about pleasing me and can focus on herself. I absolutely love that! I have been wearing my cage every day since October 29th. While I would love a 24/7 lock-up schedule, my darling wife sets the rules. She has already made some compromises, moving from not wearing it when she is home to wearing it from morning until bedtime, so she has come quite far. I just have this burning wish for her to be my keyholder and for me to stay locked around the clock. She does acknowledge all the other perks of me being more supportive, helping out more, and prioritizing her needs. She says the change in me is amazing and very positive. My main goal is to focus on her and ensure everything sexual centers on her desires. I used to masterbate regularly, but I haven’t had an orgasm since putting the cage on the 29th, and honestly, it feels good. I told her about my epiphany: I realized that now, in our relationship, my penis is almost irrelevant. Before, sex was primarily for my pleasure. She agreed that my penis isn’t crucial to her either, and I am quite okay with this reality. She mentioned that the cage seems like another person controlling me. I replied that I control the cage to control myself, but she could take charge of it if she became my keyholder. Sorry for writing so much, but I’m not sure how we should move forward from here…

> but I'm not sure how we navigate this from here...... The best answer you'll find around here is patience. Also keep communication open and honest. And don't push the issue too hard with her. Mrs. Groove was very much like your situation described. She has come a long way in 10 months. Occasionally she steps out of her comfort zone for me, and I run with it without overdoing things. In your case, I suspect it will take some time before she gets comfortable seeing the cage on you. When that happens, consider it a big step forward. Keep us updated; you'll get plenty of unsolicited advice. Pick what works best for you. Everyone’s journey is unique. Good luck.

Thank you for your reply. I obviously need to give her space to process everything.

Hi *@Immaterial Penis* You're standing in a bit of a precipice at the moment by all accounts, so it could go either way. Many of us have been where you are now. There are a few things I'd add to Patience, which is naturally paramount. Patience really is key—patience measured in months or even years if necessary—and that part depends on you. If you push too hard, your wife may well push back harder. That would be a bad place to end up. Been there myself; never want to return. I think the most important thing here is your relationship itself. You already possess something millions lack: a wife who clearly loves you. Hold onto that tightly and don't let it go. Continue as you are if it isn't causing relational problems, and hopefully things will progress naturally. It might be slow. Painfully slow at times, but then one day everything might just click into place. I hope this works out for both of you. Or it might cause discord, a rift, or even worse outcomes. Watch for these signs and agree to pause everything rather than lose her. The odds are that after some time passes, she will reflect on it and see the cage as something harmless, which it is. No one else needs to know. It doesn't hurt. And it could make you happy. The seed has been planted. Hopefully, it will grow. If not, You can ask again next year. Patience remains essential. It might never fully happen? If so, step back and be grateful for having a wife who loves you. There truly is no kink on earth worth more than that love. Good luck.

Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, she does love me deeply. We are communicating openly better than ever (mostly my doing, though she has always been good at communication). The whole desire for chastity came out of the blue for her, and you are right that nothing is worth losing my darling wife over in this process. We have agreed to take it slow and handle one step at a time. Thank you again. Your posts have been very useful in shaping my mindset.