Discussion on Smoking Meats

Last fall we swapped out our grill that was fifteen years old. We barbecue throughout the entire year. I really like circular grills because they seem to keep heat more even. Also, we enjoy making pizzas at home on it. After searching around, we chose a kamandojoe. Tonight I’m preparing pork steaks; this marks my third time using that grill.

I haven’t cared much for smoking meat in the past, but I am reconsidering. I found out there is a heat-blocking stone designed specifically for this type of grill to help with smoking. It arrived just days ago, so now I’m diving deeper into research on how to smoke with it. Mrs. G spotted pork shoulders marked down and bought two. Afraid of letting such big cuts go to waste, we sliced them into roughly 5-pound pieces, wrapped them again, and froze them until I decide on my approach.

I should mention that cooking and preparing meat isn’t anything new for us; you likely saw this in my journal before. Actually, up until a few years ago, we butchered our own beef and pork each Christmas season. There is no doubt your food is clean when you witness a calf being born, raise it, fatten it, and handle its slaughter yourself. We even blend our own bulk spice mixes for the pork. We absolutely do not use MSG.

Getting back to my main point: I want different ideas and methods for smoking meat. Mrs. G creates her own rubs for when she makes pulled pork in a slow cooker, so I am open to suggestions there too. I’ve spent time on YouTube, but most of what turns up feels like people trying to create Hollywood-style content with 20-minute videos that leave me knowing very little. I have gathered some interesting tips online, but I’d prefer hearing from you folks directly here. I read about several Thanksgiving smoking projects and would love more specifics.

Details on temperature, time per pound, wood types, rub recipes, etc., even a straightforward step-by-step guide help. For instance, I learned today about the resting phase, which makes total sense to me. I already sort of do that when grilling; I just didn’t realize it had an official name.

So there you have it. Please reply freely and thank you beforehand. Look at all those missed details regarding Mrs. G and myself rubbing and smoking meat. I can be quite professional if the mood strikes me.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Sat Dec 20, 2025 2:39 pm > We swapped out our grill that was fifteen years old last fall. We barbecue throughout the entire year. I really like circular grills because they seem to keep heat more even. Also, we enjoy making pizzas at home on it. After searching around, we chose a kamandojoe. Tonight I’m preparing pork steaks; this marks my third time using that grill. My top suggestion is picking up Steven Raichlen's book 'Project Smoke'. It is packed with info on various smoking techniques, along with recipes and methods for smoking virtually any meat or item you can think of, including items you might not have considered. The book covers different smoker types and grills, wood varieties, and other interesting tidbits. While I do use online sources occasionally, this book has become my go-to 'bible' for smoking; in fact, while having my morning walk today (I slept late), I was reading about smoking hams and pork loins. Last night I smoked some kielbasa and bacon alongside beans. On Friday, I smoked a chuck roast to add to a sausage stew currently cooking; I chopped it up yesterday evening. That said, my journey began with an inexpensive Brinkmann 'bullet-style' smoker that my wife received from work several years ago. It hooked me immediately. Soon after, I bought a Char-griller 'Professional' offset model (despite the name, it’s far from professional). This unit is cheaply made junk but functions... sort of, though you must watch it constantly. It served well for learning purposes, but now I am ready to invest in a *real* pro setup (I just need to persuade myself to spend the money). A cooker like the Kamado Joe operates differently and demands distinct techniques. Based on what I’ve read, these retain heat far better than other styles, meaning you consume less fuel and wood. You will want charcoal paired with wood chunks or very small splits if cutting your own timber. Because the Kamado holds heat so effectively, it may be easier to operate once you get used to it, requiring less frequent refueling. > I haven’t cared much for smoking meat in the past, but I am reconsidering. I found out there is a heat-blocking stone designed specifically for this type of grill to help with smoking. It arrived just days ago, so now I’m diving deeper into research on how to smoke with it. Mrs. G spotted pork shoulders marked down and bought two. Afraid of letting such big cuts go to waste, we sliced them into roughly 5-pound pieces, wrapped them again, and froze them until I decide on my approach. ACK! You shouldn't have cut those up. Anyway, did you get the picnic shoulder or a 'Boston Butt'? I find piccins too fatty and prefer the butt portion for pulled pork, which is what most people do with it. Keep them large, cook low and slow. Smaller pieces might take less time, but it makes more sense to process larger cuts all at once and freeze the results. Aim for 225°F to 250°F for the butts, targeting an internal temperature of roughly 205°F when finished. Expect a cook time of 6 to 8 hours. It is done when you lift it by the bone and the bone releases easily. The meat may (and likely will) 'stall' around an internal temp of 160-170°F, at which point you can wrap it in either uncoated peach butcher paper or aluminum foil. There is much debate in BBQ circles over which method is superior. You can test both to see your preference—some argue foil traps moisture and 'steams' the meat (particularly for ribs), while butcher paper allows air circulation ('breathing') and preserves the crust ('bark'). Ultra-purists claim both methods are flawed, much like in **chastity**, where some insist there is only one correct approach, yet reality shows multiple ways work depending on what suits *you*. Making pulled pork from a butt is actually quite straightforward and serves as an excellent starting point. You need a solid rub and sauce. I started with 'Bad Byron's Butt Rub' and found it very good. I sample different brands occasionally but often make my own; it’s not difficult. Some recommend olive oil on the meat to help the rub adhere, while others suggest yellow mustard. Naturally, some purists think you are mad if you use either one. Personally, I prefer mustard. For sauce, despite trying many varieties, I always return to Sweet Baby Ray's—it is tasty and economical for pulled pork (in my view). I buy it in gallon jugs from Sam's Club by the case. Of course, regional preferences cause fights too; some insist only vinegar/mustard sauces are valid, especially Carolinian folks, while others swear by other styles. > I should mention that cooking and preparing meat isn't anything new for us; you likely saw this in my journal before. Actually, up until a few years ago, we butchered our own beef and pork each Christmas season. There is no doubt your food is clean when you witness a calf being born, raise it, fatten it, and handle its slaughter yourself. We even blend our own bulk spice mixes for the pork. We absolutely do not use MSG. Uncle Roger (Nigel Ng) claims MSG stands for 'Makes Shit Good'. Despite online criticism, there is genuinely no harm in it; it may actually be better for blood pressure than regular sodium chloride (table salt). I have a large bottle and will buy more. If you haven't watched Nigel's YouTube routines, you are missing out on laughs and cooking tips, particularly if interested in Asian cuisine. He has collaborated with Gordon Ramsay among others, and through them I learned how to properly make creamed eggs. > Getting back to my main point: I want different ideas and methods for smoking meat. Mrs. G creates her own rubs for when she makes pulled pork in a slow cooker, so I am open to suggestions there too. I’ve spent time on YouTube, but most of what turns up feels like people trying to create Hollywood-style content with 20-minute videos that leave me knowing very little. I have gathered some interesting tips online, but I’d prefer hearing from you folks directly here. I read about several Thanksgiving smoking projects and would love more specifics. If you are already making your own rubs, feel free to skip my earlier comments on those. However, once you smoke a butt properly, you may never want to use a slow cooker again unless you are extremely lazy. > Details on temperature, time per pound, wood types, rub recipes, etc., even a straightforward step-by-step guide help. For instance, I learned today about the resting phase, which makes total sense to me. I already sort of do that when grilling; I just didn’t realize it had an official name. Temperature influences cook time per pound. Start with an estimate of 1 hour per pound and adjust based on the meat type and desired final temperature—smoking chops happens much faster than a butt because you want chop temps around 135°F, whereas the butt needs to reach between 200°F and 205°F. Various methods exist depending on goals: BBQ, hot smoking, low & slow, or cold smoking. For pulled pork butts, aim for 'low & slow' at 225-250°F. If you want a shortcut, after wrapping the meat you can finish it in your oven; wrapped meat won't absorb more smoke anyway, so it becomes a question of whether charcoal cost or electricity costs matter more to you. With your Kamado, you likely just leave it alone. Charcoal: I use Kingsford regular briquettes as my standard (DO NOT buy 'match-light' types; chemicals can impart an off-flavor). B&B briquettes burn hotter and longer but cost more. Occasionally using them, I usually start with briquettes then finish with plain wood splits—I sort short maple and oak pieces from my firewood for the smoker, which is easiest for offset models like mine. Sometimes I use apple wood from our trees. People hold strong views on wood types, though personal taste varies. Raichlen's 'Project Smoke' offers a good guide to lighter vs heavier flavors provided by different woods. Fruitwoods tend toward lighter profiles; mesquite is stronger; oak and nut woods sit in the middle. Experiment to find your preference... just avoid pine (though juniper has specific uses), and you might place cedar under salmon for cold smoking (but do not put it *in* the fire). Oh, since you process pigs yourself, consider curing and smoking hams; that topic has kept me occupied with bathroom reading lately. I haven't covered everything here, just a starting point. Questions? Ask away. I suggest Tom move this thread to the Lounge; it fits better there than in General Chastity. I would have done it myself, but apparently I don’t know how and it wasn't immediately obvious when I checked.

This was a good read. Thank you. > ACK! You shouldn't have cut those up. Okay, so it appears I made a mistake cutting the butt into smaller pieces. Yes, they were Boston butts. It was pure ignorance and fear of ruining what I still viewed as overpriced meat—a habit from years of raising our own livestock. When I bought the grill, smoking wasn't even on my radar; it was an afterthought entirely. Still, if this works out, I have no problem buying a second machine. Fuel source: I prefer all-natural charcoal chunks and cherry wood from my own trees. We love how cherry enhances simple grilling flavors. Thanks to one of your earlier posts, I dug through some scrap wood and separated the maple pieces. Sweet Baby Ray's is our only sauce choice. Mrs. G makes her own jelly. She saves the foam/scum produced during cooking and adds it to SBR sauce for dishes like meatballs. It elevates them significantly. MSG is a hard no for me. Twenty-five years ago, I had my entire large intestine removed due to ulcerative colitis. MSG triggers intestinal spasms in me. This is the primary reason we don't eat out much; she prepares everything fresh. We also avoid as many preservatives as possible. It's such an issue that on any road trip of distance, we bring our own food and drink. I'm known for packing a mason jar filled with well water from home in my cooler when traveling. Plus, being thrifty, I prefer paying cash. (Another topic entirely.) Once I finish here, I'll look up your book recommendation. I'd rather read than watch videos. Thanks again for the insights. I'm sure I will have more questions soon. My first smoking session is planned after holiday guests leave. As my dad always said, “learn by someone else’s mistakes and that’s one more you don’t have to make.”

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Sun Dec 21, 2025 9:43 pm > This was a good read. Thank you. >> ACK! You shouldn't have cut those up. >> Okay, so it appears I made a mistake cutting the butt into smaller pieces. Yes, they were Boston butts. It was pure ignorance and fear of ruining what I still viewed as overpriced meat—a habit from years of raising our own livestock. It's alright, no big deal. But 'over-priced'? I usually get them for about $0.99/lb. Sometimes seeing prices up to $1.49/lb makes me wait those ones out. A 15-pound butt yields plenty that will last a while if it’s just the two of you; they keep well in the fridge (I set mine slightly above freezing) and even longer frozen. I had a container 'jump' at me about a month ago; the lid broke, so I let it thaw to see what was inside (yes, my labeling skills are poor). It turned out to be pulled pork, probably sitting there for two years. Not as good as fresh, but not terrible. > When I bought the grill, smoking wasn't even on my radar; it was an afterthought entirely. Still, if this works out, I have no problem buying a second machine. If you don’t get too 'hooked', one is sufficient. On the other hand, as you delve deeper, you might eventually consider a Texas-style offset with a vertical section at the end for maximum versatility, making your own smoked sausages, etc. > Fuel source: I prefer all-natural charcoal chunks and cherry wood from my own trees. We love how cherry enhances simple grilling flavors. Thanks to one of your earlier posts, I dug through some scrap wood and separated the maple pieces. I haven't tried cherry yet. Guess I haven’t reached connoisseur status. > Sweet Baby Ray's is our only sauce choice. Mrs. G makes her own jelly. She saves the foam/scum produced during cooking and adds it to SBR sauce for dishes like meatballs. It elevates them significantly. Yes, I experiment with jellies and marmalades too, using them on meatballs and Li'l Smokies. > MSG is a hard no for me. Twenty-five years ago, I had my entire large intestine removed due to ulcerative colitis. MSG triggers intestinal spasms in me. This is the primary reason we don't eat out much; she prepares everything fresh. We also avoid as many preservatives as possible. It's such an issue that on any road trip of distance, we bring our own food and drink. I'm known for packing a mason jar filled with well water from home in my cooler when traveling. Plus, being thrifty, I prefer paying cash. (Another topic entirely.) That’s unfortunate. I enjoy trying foods at different places; we’ve eaten across much of the country. The only ingredient I strictly monitor is mushrooms. I am also careful with money. I have been fed up with my smoker for a while now, but when it comes to spending 2-5 thousand dollars on a 'real' one (made with thick steel), I take considerable time to think about it.

> . I haven't tried cherry yet. Guess I haven’t reached connoisseur status. I would assume its flavor profile is similar to the apple wood you mentioned. Unlike you, I don’t have fruit trees nearby for easy access. However, I am starting to keep my eyes open now. Wild cherry trees are unique like any tree species. It is a very dense hardwood. When working with it on woodworking projects, I’ve been taught that two properly sanded pieces will nearly adhere to each other; placing one piece atop another allows you to lift the bottom slightly by lifting the top one. Small chunks last quite long on the grill. Wild cherry also makes excellent jelly, though be aware they are very small fruits. Freshly milled wild cherry is almost blonde in color, but time and sunlight darken it to its more familiar shade.

I’ve never used that style of smoker or grill. Since it’s ceramic, I assume the heat stays trapped inside. For smoking meats, I’ve done Boston butts, hams, ribs, turkey, chicken, brisket, and rib roasts. I go with apple wood for butts and ribs, and hickory for hams, brisket, and rib roast. Chicken and turkey get no added wood because it gives the meat too heavy a smoke taste. My smoker comes equipped with a water pan to help regulate temperature. I pour pineapple juice in for hams, beer for chicken and turkeys, and Coke for beef dishes. Enjoy yourself.

> ARK wrote: ↑Tue Dec 23, 2025 3:40 pm > Never used that type of smoker / grill. Being ceramic, suppose to hold the heat in. > Meats to smoke, I done Boston butts, hams, ribs, turkey, chicken, brisket and rib roasts. > I use apple wood for butts and ribs. Hickory for hams, brisket and rib roast. Chicken and turkey no wood. Gives meat too much smoke flavor. > My smoker has a water pan in it to help control the temperature. I use pineapple juice for hams, beer for chicken and turkeys and Coke for beef. > Have fun with it. Coke paired with beef is an interesting choice. Thanks for sharing that idea. I recently learned that my neighbor is quite the smoking enthusiast. We’ve had a few chats about it lately. He’s a funny and fascinating guy. Both of us rock bib overalls and sport white beards. He towers over me, easily twice my size or more. Plus, he brews his own moonshine. My wife claims there’s zero chance such a large man could ever mount her. She argues I’m already too big to comfortably sit on top of her. Hmm? Perhaps that explains why I’ve ended up in a PFM.

> ARK wrote: ↑Tue Dec 23, 2025 3:40 pm > I use apple wood for butts and ribs. Hickory for hams, brisket and rib roast. **Chicken and turkey no wood. Gives meat too much smoke flavor.** > My smoker has a water pan in it to help control the temperature. I use pineapple juice for hams, beer for chicken and turkeys and Coke for beef. > Have fun with it. Yeah, I smoked a turkey not long ago and Mrs. complained that it was overly smoky. I also utilize a water pan; it’s actually a large, heavy roasting pan I purchased specifically to serve as the water reservoir in my smoker. It just isn’t worth the hassle of using anything other than plain water.

We skipped the traditional Christmas dinner this year. Instead, I smoked a ham on Christmas Day for sandwiches and snacking between meals. It turned out wonderful—moist and full of flavor. Normally, I coat my ham in maple syrup, but Mrs. Ark is watching her carbs so I held off. Usually, I trim away the outer layer because it gets burnt and isn't pleasant to eat. The drive home on Christmas Eve reminded me that I was out of hickory for smoking the ham. I stopped by Sports Academy first; they had every type of wood except hickory chunks. Then I hit a nearby Walmart—no wood chunks there either, though they did stock hickory chips. Once back home, I dashed to Atwoods before their holiday closure and found a whole section packed with hickory chunks. On Saturday, the family was debating what to eat on Sunday evening. I suggested smoked brisket but got vetoed in favor of roast beef. On Sunday morning, Mrs. Ark sent me to the store for a roast when asked which type. The response? "I don’t know, just get one." So I bought the biggest roast I could find. After grabbing fixings and getting the seasoning packet ready, I put the roast in the slow cooker while peeling potatoes. Then Mrs. Ark sent me to the bathroom to prep for church. On our way out, she mentioned that the slow cooker was set to high. Great. "Slow" usually means low heat over time; if you need it faster, crank up the end. About an hour before supper, she admitted she’d put it on high about an hour prior. While getting everything else ready, she announced to everyone that she isn’t very good at cooking roasts. Surprise, surprise! As the meat rested, I made the gravy. During dinner, her mom and dad both praised how delicious the roast was, noting it tasted just like Mrs. Ark’s grandmother cooked it. She graciously accepted their compliments. Wonderful. No mention of my contributions.

> . Drive home on Christmas eve, realized that I did not have any hickory to smoke my ham. Stopped at Sports Academy and they had every kind of wood except hickory chucks. Stopped at a Walmart along the way, no wood chucks, they did have hickory chips. > Got home and went to Atwoods before they closed for the holiday, they a section full of hickory chucks. I was at Menards recently and noticed they carried a decent selection of flavored smoking chunks. Apple was among them. I plan to grab some next time. If I enjoy it, I’ll look for a more budget-friendly option. I know an older fellow who uses just the bark from scaly hickory logs. Those can be tricky to find these days. My woods are loaded with more hickory than you could ever shake a stick at.

I smoked some filet mignons, let them rest, and then returned them to the fire. I left them in the smoke a bit too long; while I liked the flavor, Mrs. thought it was excessive. Although they reached the right temperature, they dried out slightly and became somewhat chewy. They stayed in longer because I spent too much time fussing with the sides—I ruined one and had to toss it to start over again. Gordon Ramsay would have yelled at me, perhaps even slapping a slice of bread on each side of my head to turn me into an idiot sandwich.

> maybe put a slice of bread on each side of my head to make an idiot sandwich.. Haha, that’s a good one. My "smoking bible" as you call it is arriving today or tomorrow at the latest. I’m hoping to do my first smoking session in just a few days. Mrs. G is seizing every opportunity to drop meat rub commentary.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Mon Dec 29, 2025 1:31 pm > > maybe put a slice of bread on each side of my head to make an idiot sandwich.. > Haha, that’s a good one. My smoking bible as you call it is due here today, tomorrow at the latest. Hoping to do my first smoking in a few days. Mrs. G is using every opportunity to make meat rub comments. I’ve been watching Ramsay's 'Hell's Kitchen' since day one; it’s pure comedy gold. I wish I possessed the knowledge and skill to compete, but honestly, I’m just a hack. I wouldn’t even get past the audition phase, let alone stand a chance on the show. I couldn't come up with an idea in the time they’re given to cook a full meal.

I’m not familiar with that program. I just don’t watch much TV, and what I do watch tends to be older shows. On another note, thanks for recommending the smoker’s bible. A quick look at an overview and a few pages in reveals it is exactly what I was seeking. Hoping to break my smoking virginity with cherry wood in a few days.

TM Thanks for the info on filets. I’ve never smoked a filet before and now I probably won’t again. However, I have smoked a ribeye roast in the smoker. I liked it, but Mrs. Ark and the family did not. I usually grill my filets but keep a close watch. I use indirect heat and pull them off at 135F. In truth, filets and ribeye roasts should really be cooked in an oven. T&G, What does your book say about smoking filets and ribeye roasts?

> . T&G, > What does your book say about smoking filets and ribeye roasts? I’ll have to circle back with you on that. I’m also starting to get curious about fish, though that’s something for later down the road.

Smoked catfish? Personally, I’d prefer my catfish fried up with hush puppies, french fries, and a slice of onion.

> . T&G, > What does your book say about smoking filets and ribeye roasts? I’ll have to circle back with you on that. I’m also starting to get curious about fish, though that’s something for later down the road.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Tue Dec 30, 2025 1:20 pm > Not familiar with the program. I just don’t watch too much tv. What I do watch is old stuff. > On another note, thanks for the smokers bible recommendation. A quick overview and a few few pages in and it appears to be exactly what I was looking for. > Hoping to bust my smoking virgin cherry in a few days. Glad you like it, I thought it might be helpful. Mrs. Twisted got me one a while back, the pages are getting dog-eared and there are scraps of paper stuffed in the pages for things I frequently refer to or want to try. It's led me to try stuff I never would have thought of on my own. Raichlen also does a show on PBS, which I didn't know when I got the book, and I watch it when I get the chance. As for TV, I don't watch anywhere near as much as I once did, but there are a few shows we like and we have some DVRs to record them and watch when we have the time. GR owns a number of high-end (expensive) restaurants, Hell's Kitchen is not just a competition but is basically a very long job interview. The winner gets a $250k/yr job running one of his restaurants, some of them go even further with his outfit. Some of the ones who don't win the top slot still end up with offers from other restaurants. GR acts like an asshole sometimes for the show, but from what I've seen written about him elsewhere he's really a 'nice guy'. It can be funny at times and I've learned a thing or two from watching it.

> ARK wrote: ↑Tue Dec 30, 2025 4:01 pm > TM > Thanks for the info on filets. I have never smoked a filet before and now I won’t. I have smoked a ribeye roast on the smoker. I liked it but Mrs Ark and family did not. > I usually grill my filets but have to watch them closely. I use indirect heating and pull the off at 135F. Really filets and ribeye roast should be cooked in an oven. > T&G, > What does your book say about smoking filets and ribeye roasts? Don't let it dissuade you, you just have to be careful with the time. I usually do them right in the off-set firebox, with the fire to one side, but I wanted to try something a little different. Might work better with a whole tenderloin, especially if you just give it a light smoke and then cut it up into steaks to grill later. I have a half of a pork loin in the fridge now that I'm going to try that on.

Been continuing my smoke research. I’m not much on YouTube but I did find two guys who are using my machine to smoke with. They weren’t Hollywood wanna bees, so they were quite informative and to the point. So with my smoker bible in hand I think I’m going to attempt a butt this weekend. While looking into fish I noticed many people like a cedar plank to hold the fish together. Mrs. G found them on line for as little as 50 cents each. I scolded her that if she ordered them there would be trouble. I mill my own cedar logs for numerous projects and I throw stuff like this into our outdoor boiler daily. She just laughed at me and said, “I just wanted you to see what your throwing away.” Then. “It sure doesn’t take much to get a rise out of you.” Hmm? No it doesn’t, in many areas of my life.

Whole tenderloin, season with garlic powder and seasoning salt, marinade in Italian dressing over night. Grill off set. I place a sheet of aluminum foil in the middle and made a shallow dish with aluminum foil. Cook for 25 minutes and the flip. Cook another 20 to 25 minutes checking temperature. Shooting for 135F. Tip, do not pour the left over marinade in the aluminum foil dish. Asking for a fire and burning the outside of the tenderloin. Tip 2. Buy a whole tenderloin and trim fat and silver back off. Keep trimming, except silverback, cut into small pieces, season with garlic and fry in butter. Steak bites.

> ARK wrote: ↑Sat Jan 03, 2026 12:09 am > Whole tenderloin, season with garlic powder and seasoning salt, marinade in Italian dressing over night. Grill off set. I place a sheet of aluminum foil in the middle and made a shallow dish with aluminum foil. Cook for 25 minutes and the flip. Cook another 20 to 25 minutes checking temperature. Shooting for 135F. > Tip, do not pour the left over marinade in the aluminum foil dish. Asking for a fire and burning the outside of the tenderloin. > Tip 2. Buy a whole tenderloin and trim fat and silver back off. Keep trimming, except silverback, cut into small pieces, season with garlic and fry in butter. Steak bites. Sounds good. Planning on starting my first smoking fire this morning. Doing one of those buts I cut in two. Mrs. G has a basic rub she makes when she does pulled pork in the crockpot. Planning to use it so we don’t introduce too many variables on the first run. I also found a YouTube video of a guy who uses my cooker to do a but. Planning to revisit that before I start.

First butt didn’t come out half bad. In fact I was pretty surprised at how well it did and tasted. I used the hour per pound rule as a general guideline. The first 2.5 hours exposed to the smoke and the second 2.5 hours wrapped in a pan to just cook. The final 2 hours I had it wrapped in a towel in a cooler to rest. (I prefer to call this the pig in a blanket stage). Smoker Temps between 250 and 275 the entire time. Internal bone temp at 209 when I removed it from the smoker. Once we opened it for our meal Mrs. G took hold of the bone and it slipped out smoothly. I was so hungry I didn’t think to examine the smoke ring. I have a slight concern that I didn’t give it enough smoke time. I was so concerned about getting too much smoke flavor. I’m open for suggestions from others. I’m thinking chicken next time.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Sun Jan 04, 2026 6:10 am > I was so hungry I didn’t think to examine the smoke ring. I have a slight concern that I didn’t give it enough smoke time. I was so concerned about getting too much smoke flavor. If you liked it you did it right. I don't even look for the 'smoke ring' on a butt, just dump it in the crock pot, pull out the bone and attack it with a couple of forks*. When it's shredded it gets slathered with SBR. In my mind, you can't get 'too much smoke' with a butt for pulled pork, Mrs. Twisted may suggest so with other things (steak, turkey) but never the pulled pork. Mrs. Twisted wanted to get me 'meat claws' a while back but I shot that idea down. When it's done right a pair of ordinary forks work perfectly well, and I don't need another gadget in my poorly designed drawers. 4 out of 6 drawers are very long and very deep, there is no way of using the space in an organized manner, just throw stuff in and dig for what you want when we have it. (The putz that built this house built all the cabinets and drawers by hand, and made a bunch of mistakes, just like he did in a lot of other areas. I actually met him once, he came down in here and wanted to go in and 'look around'. Eh, what? No, I don't think so. He told me this was the first house he ever built, I said "I can tell.")

> . attack it with a couple of forks* I used a pair of forks to move it from the smoker to a pan to wrap it in for the second half. I found myself scraping the crusties from the grill with the fork to do a taste test. SBR is our go to for pulled pork, there’s nothing better. This evening she is planning dirty nachos. SBR pulled pork on chips covered in cheese and warmed to a crisp in the oven. Top it off with all the usual nacho cold toppings of your choice. Sorry about your kitchen drawers. I spent a few years doing a major kitchen renovation for Mrs. G. I took lumber from the stump to the cabinet. Tons of research on cabinetry. Everything from aesthetics to functionality. All of the drawers and shelves were sized to fit her needs, and all lower unit shelves are rollout. We even etched glass panes ourselves for the top units with led lighting. The toughest to do feature was half blind dovetail joints with one piece fronts on all of the drawers. These things will never come apart. A friend who is a former cabinet maker was also a great source of info. he said I could never get one piece drawer fronts to line up on a drawer stack. Challenge accepted and accomplished. I did make my share of mistakes but that’s how you learn and it’s probably why it took so long. Thing is I have estimated a savings of over $30k. Sorry to ramble. Time to start investigating baby back ribs.

Congratulations on cooking your first pork butt. Don’t worry about smoke rings. Smoke rings are for competition contests. I been in the mood for something smoke. I think I smoke something this week if the burn ban is lifted in my county.

> ARK wrote: ↑Mon Jan 05, 2026 6:29 am > Congratulations on cooking your first pork butt. Don’t worry about smoke rings. Smoke rings are for competition contests. > I been in the mood for something smoke. I think I smoke something this week if the burn ban is lifted in my county. It has been an incredibly dry winter here also. I wouldn’t think a smoker would fall under a burn ban, but I’m sure you know your area best. I’m thinking about doing a chicken next, and I’m drooling over doing some ribs. I have also sorted out some maple scraps from a recent project and am looking to open my wallet on some apple from Menards this week. Thanks for all the advice from you and @TwistedMister.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Sun Jan 04, 2026 2:09 pm > SBR is our go to for pulled pork, there’s nothing better. This evening she is planning dirty nachos. SBR pulled pork on chips covered in cheese and warmed to a crisp in the oven. Top it off with all the usual nacho cold toppings of your choice. Mmmmm, that sounds good! Why have I not thought of that? It's not like tortilla chips aren't a staple here... > Sorry about your kitchen drawers. I spent a few years doing a major kitchen renovation for Mrs. G. I took lumber from the stump to the cabinet. Tons of research on cabinetry. Everything from aesthetics to functionality. All of the drawers and shelves were sized to fit her needs, and all lower unit shelves are rollout. We even etched glass panes ourselves for the top units with led lighting. The toughest to do feature was half blind dovetail joints with one piece fronts on all of the drawers. These things will never come apart. > A friend who is a former cabinet maker was also a great source of info. he said I could never get one piece drawer fronts to line up on a drawer stack. Challenge accepted and accomplished. I did make my share of mistakes but that’s how you learn and it’s probably why it took so long. Thing is I have estimated a savings of over $30k. > Sorry to ramble. Time to start investigating baby back ribs. This guy made the drawer fronts out of pieces of T&G pine, screwed on from the inside. Then he installed the drawer pulls and added another 3/4" piece of wood to the inside to cover up the screws for the T&G and the drawer pull. The pull screws have become loose and can't be tightened without disassembling the drawer. I've probably seen dumber things, but I can't remember when. And the drawers are all wood on wood, no rollers. I am seriously tempted to rip it all out, but I already have more important projects...like the fact that there is a lot of stone and brick work inside, without sufficient support underneath... I tried baby backs, didn't like them as much as the St. Louis cut and they were more expensive. I was also not impressed with the slabs I got of both kinds from Sam's. I am occasionally tempted to order some Duroc pig from one of the specialty outfits, but I am trying to save some money for a *real* smoker and some Rare Breed FRTs for a couple of AR-15 builds (while they are still legal).

> . It's not like tortilla chips aren't a staple here... Yes here too. The twist of lime ones are for special occasions. I also like to top off my dirty nachos with mayonnaise based slaw, not so much with the vinegar based. I have experienced wood on wood drawers. Sometimes economical isn’t worth the headache. In our summer humidity down here they would be a real pain. I get it with the stone work. Shore up the important stuff first, then tackle the cabinets. For fresh meat we have a butcher shop about 30 minutes away. It’s old school and a great place to buy quality. I have even sold him some fed out beef in the past. When I want the very best pork, I purchase it on the hoof, feed it up and process it myself. Happy smoking.

Summer humidity is bad here too. Leather and natural fibers mildew; guns, cast iron and carbon steel pans and basically anything else not stainless will rust if not kept oiled.

Mrs. G brought home a chicken yesterday. Looks like another smoke project tomorrow.

Mrs. G prepared the chicken with her own seasoning mix rub. She worked butter under the skin of the bird and topped it off with a quartered onion inside. Smoked with maple at 350 for about two hours. I have also acquired a dual probe digital thermometer that helps a lot. Before removing the chicken I did a temp check with my trusty hand held probe just to confirm the new one. Stuck the probe in and the bird had a ruined orgasm, juice flowed freely. Let the bird rest for almost an hour while I finished feed chores and showered. I have to say that was one incredible chicken. And those onion petals that cooked and seasoned from within were the best I ever had. We should get another couple of meals from it then Mrs. G will cook the bones down for a soup broth. This was my first time to use maple. I think it was more appropriate than the cherry I typically use. I’m also thinking the maple did something for Mrs. G, she was an absolute animal in the sack later in the evening.

I think maple is drier and lighter than oak. You can get a lighter smoke and more easily get a higher temp with it.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Sat Jan 10, 2026 10:48 am > I think maple is drier and lighter than oak. You can get a lighter smoke and more easily get a higher temp with it. I did notice that it lit off rather easily. It does have a more distinct flavor than the cherry that I have been using. My current standard is maple for chicken, cherry for pork and beef, mesquite for beef and chicken when used for fajitas. More exploring will be required. Keep on smoking.

Have not smoked anything since Christmas. Did grill some ribeyes on the grill. Once the internal temperature hits 135F. Pulled from the grill and let the ribeyes rest for 10 minutes. Perfect. Mrs. Ark and I were suppose to eat at BBQ joint about 1 hour away. That did not happen. Still had a craving for pulled pork. Got a 2.5 lb boston butt. Got a seasoning packet that called for ketchup and apple vinegar. Put everything in the crock pot for 8 hours on low. Plan was to shred the meat. Mrs. Ark wanted to leave as is. Turned out good. Satisfied my pulled pork craving.

Hopefully you’re surviving the winter storm

I smoked a pork tenderloin recently while Mrs. Twisted was out of town. It turned out one of my most tender and juicy efforts, though I pushed the smoke level just a little too high for my taste. She would have hated it if she'd tasted that much smoke. At the same time, I made some baked beans with bacon and onion in there, plus smoked extra bacon to toss into the mix—more bacon is always good, and I hate wasting space in the smoker when it's running anyway. The other night I cooked up some Omaha Steak burgers right on the firebox over a low maple wood bed. They came out great. In the past, I kept 'Bubba Burgers' stocked for those burger cravings, but their prices have skyrocketed recently. I used to pay $12–$13 for a 2lb box (with 1/3 lb patties), now it's around $19. The old price felt like a fair premium for the convenience of having pre-formed burgers ready in the freezer whenever needed, and Bubbas were just the right size—I’ve never quite nailed making my own without them turning out too round or thick. I get plenty of mailers from Omaha Steaks since we send their products as Christmas gifts. Yes, some items are pricey, but they’re a nice treat to have on hand. I’ve noticed that if you hunt for the right deals, burgers and ground beef can cost about the same (sometimes slightly more) than those old Bubba prices, with better quality too. My only gripe is their current patties are full 6oz each—fatter and shrinking less than the Bubbas. It’s a minor complaint, but I prefer specific sizes recently, burger joints have been offering huge 8oz burgers which feel way too big, messy, and outrageously priced for what they offer. Omaha Steaks really messed up this year apparently due to shipping changes (they stopped using their great coolers because of new regulations). Two gift packages we sent got lost or delayed—one arrived nearly two weeks late mostly thawed, the other never showed up at all. Mrs. Twisted went full Karen on them, doing a lot of verbal arm-twisting until both gifts were replaced and she received refunds plus coupons/gift cards. Plus, some mailers came in with deals where burgers and filet mignons actually cost less than grocery store prices, including free jalapeno risotto cakes (she loves those; I haven’t replicated them yet). The box was so heavy and big I had to drag a hunting sled down to the road just to bring it home. We’re set on burgers for a while. Oh, skip their beef pot roast unless you love salty food—we thought it was awful. Didn't eat much of it; dumped leftovers into my stew...and kind of ruined the whole thing. Blech. Thinking about smoking another pork tenderloin today, maybe half a loin to slice up for chops...

> but $19 crosses a line for me. The beef industry is crazy right now and has been for about two years. Three years ago I’d sell a weaned calf weighing 500-600 lbs for roughly $1/lb. Honestly, at that price I was barely breaking even or losing money on him. Usually, I kept one to raise myself before butchering it. Nowadays market prices for the same size calves sit between $4 and $6 per pound. At those rates, keeping cattle for my own use isn’t affordable anymore. I’m finally starting to see a small profit margin now. A recent article said farmers average about 17 cents/lb in current markets—that’s pretty poor compensation for working around the clock. The real pricing headache comes from feedlots. They grain-feed calves for nearly a year until slaughter weight, and I wonder how they stay profitable doing that; I ran my operation similarly for several years and know it's hard to make money on those margins. My final take: The national cattle herd is at its lowest point in over 50 years. Small farms like mine are becoming obsolete. Mine will likely go under one day as my kids pursue better-paying careers far away with no interest in taking up cow-rising themselves. So don’t expect prices to drop anytime soon.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Sun Jan 25, 2026 12:56 pm > So don’t expect prices to drop anytime soon. We should have bombed Argentina for the beef instead of Venezuela for the oil... ETA: That's a joke, in case anyone is wondering.

I have always heard that being a cattle farmer as a tough business. I have several neighbors that have cows and cows can be loud. One neighbor use to have a lot more land and had a dairy farm on the property. Today they have sold half the land and grow hay to help support the cattle farm.

> ARK wrote: ↑Mon Jan 26, 2026 4:16 pm > I have always heard that being a cattle farmer as a tough business. I have several neighbors that have cows and cows can be loud. One neighbor use to have a lot more land and had a dairy farm on the property. Today they have sold half the land and grow hay to help support the cattle farm. Dairy farming is the toughest of all cattle farming. You MUST be there every 12 hours, including Sunday, for milking time. You can set a clock by dairy cows. I have owned a few single hand Milkers myself over the years. Nothing more reliable than an old hand milk guernsey cow. She will provide you with milk, cream, and butter every day. And her calf could make fine steaks also. This is truly off grid living.

I thought about getting a young beef to let it wander and grow, I think I have enough room. I don't know if it would need a shelter (likely?) but just the cost of fencing this place off would make it not worth it. I spent more than $1500 for posts, wire and a fence charger for a relatively small area to keep the bears out of my bees.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Tue Jan 27, 2026 9:32 am > I thought about getting a young beef to let it wander and grow, I think I have enough room. I don't know if it would need a shelter (likely?) but just the cost of fencing this place off would make it not worth it. I spent more than $1500 for posts, wire and a fence charger for a relatively small area to keep the bears out of my bees. If you want a half or whole beef you would be better off to find someone who raises them to sell like I use to do. Keeping up with fence is expensive and time consuming during stormy weather.

Smoking and beer. I use beer when smoke chicken or turkey. Helps keep the meat moisture and juicy. When smoking a whole chicken, I place a can of beer in the cavity of the chicken. Beer of choice is Budweiser. I like a full flavored beer. If you have a local brewery, anything that is fresh would add to the flavor profile

> ARK wrote: ↑Fri Jan 30, 2026 6:59 am > Smoking and beer. > I use beer when smoke chicken or turkey. Helps keep the meat moisture and juicy. When smoking a whole chicken, I place a can of beer in the cavity of the chicken. Beer of choice is Budweiser. I like a full flavored beer. If you have a local brewery, anything that is fresh would add to the flavor profile I’m looking at getting a device that holds the bird and the beer without actually putting a painted can in the smoker. There are a lot of options out there.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Fri Jan 30, 2026 8:43 am > > ARK wrote: ↑Fri Jan 30, 2026 6:59 am > > Smoking and beer. > > I use beer when smoke chicken or turkey. Helps keep the meat moisture and juicy. When smoking a whole chicken, I place a can of beer in the cavity of the chicken. Beer of choice is Budweiser. I like a full flavored beer. If you have a local brewery, anything that is fresh would add to the flavor profile > I’m looking at getting a device that holds the bird and the beer without actually putting a painted can in the smoker. There are a lot of options out there. I think if you're under 300* the coating on the can shouldn't be a problem, but if you're worried about it you could just take a steel can like from dog food or beans that doesn't have an interior coating like some veggie cans, remove the paper label and wash the interior and put the beer in that.

> . I think if you're under 300* the coating on the can shouldn't be a problem, but if you're worried about it you could just take a steel can like from dog food or beans that doesn't have an interior coating like some veggie cans, remove the paper label and wash the interior and put the beer in that. I thought about this. Mrs. G uses veggie cans to bake her famous raisin, nut brown bread in around Christmas time.

The way I smoke I have a water pan under the meat. I can add different liquid to add to the flavor profile. Smoking a turkey, I pour beer n the cavity to keep it moist.

> ARK wrote: ↑Sat Jan 31, 2026 3:11 am > The way I smoke I have a water pan under the meat. I can add different liquid to add to the flavor profile. I was curious if this would work just as well as using a can. I would like to keep the cavity clean so I can put a quartered onion in it.

> ARK wrote: ↑Sat Jan 31, 2026 3:11 am > The way I smoke I have a water pan under the meat. I can add different liquid to add to the flavor profile. > Smoking a turkey, I pour beer n the cavity to keep it moist. I bought the biggest roasting pan I could find to use for a water pan, it would take way too much beer.

Cheat and go 50% beer and 50% water. The trick to poultry is adding moisture to the meat.

> ARK wrote: ↑Sun Feb 01, 2026 2:45 am > Cheat and go 50% beer and 50% water. The trick to poultry is adding moisture to the meat. A neighbor stuck me on using an onion in the cavity to add moisture. Plus the onion was absolutely amazing when I did this. Thanks for the 50/50 idea.

Helping Mrs. Ark clean and organized the kitchen, came across some old cookbooks. Found a bbq cookbook that had my brinkmann smoker instructions manual. I got the smoker over 20 years ago. Rereading the instructions, tells how to clean it after every use (don’t do it, store smoker inside when not it use (don’t do it). Note, Brinkmann went bankrupt in 2015. Reading some of the recipes, I have come across better recipes on the internet or use my own concoction. Warming up this week and I am in the mood for brisket. Type in ‘ Yeah, I-Lived-in-Texas, Smoked Brisket’ on my Ipad and up pops my recipe. I cut out the cayenne pepper, Mrs Ark does not like the slight burning sensation on her lips. Use Coke as my liquid, hickory for my wood. Low and slow.

Brought a 2 1/2 lb of trimmed brisket. A normal brisket is a big chuck of meat. I normally cut a 1/3 of the weight off trimming the fat off. Then I cut the brisket in half because it is still a lot of meat. Had some of my homemade rub from the last time i smoked a brisket. Got my rub on the meat, wrapped in plastic. Plan to smoke on Sunday. Use hickory wood charcoal, hickory wood chucks and coke as my liquid. Smoke for 8 hrs, take off smoker, wrap in aluminum foil and 2 hours in the oven at 225F. Rest, slice and eat.

Plan started off good. Meat on smoker at 10:00 am. Smoke bellowing out everywhere. Come back from church at 1:00 pm and no smoke and found fluid on the ground. Found that my water bowl had a hole and extinguished my charcoal. Wonderful. Saved the remaining fluid, placed aluminum foil in water pan, started some more charcoal, got my smoker back up and running. 5:00 pm, checked temperature, 150F. I need it at 170F, decide to pull the meat and wrap in aluminum foil and cook at 250 F for 2 hours. 6:30 pm daughter needs oven for her cheesy potatoes. Pull the brisket and the temperature is 195F in the thickness part. Shooting for 200F, but I think it will work. 7;30 pm, slice brisket. Good flavor, but the thicker parts are tough. Thinner section is good. Should have pulled it at 4:00 and wrapped it and placed in the oven longer. At the end of the day, most of the brisket was eaten. Mrs Ark and daughter enjoyed it. Mrs. Ark said this was not my best brisket. Her frame of reference is to my best were the meat was falling apart when I was cutting it. For the thousands of reading of this topic, don’t let a brisket scare you. Good seasoning and low and slow. If you cannot get your temperature up, Increase your time in the oven. Once you get the smoke flavor in the brisket, finish cooking it in the oven. Side note: grilled chicken Saturday night. Cut chicken breast in half and no seasoning. It was cooler that night (50F). used extra charcoal to over come that. Using a small grill so I did not have the luxury of having area to offset the food. When the chicken was ready, sprinkle colby cheese and green onions on the chicken. (Variations is to add mushrooms and bacon). The chicken was juicy and good. Twist, should have brine the chicken for a few hours.

Dammit. The smoker I was looking at last year has jumped in price by $700.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Tue Feb 10, 2026 11:20 am > Dammit. The smoker I was looking at last year has jumped in price by $700. Must be one hell of a smoker.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Tue Feb 10, 2026 6:32 pm > > TwistedMister wrote: ↑Tue Feb 10, 2026 11:20 am > > Dammit. The smoker I was looking at last year has jumped in price by $700. > Must be one hell of a smoker. Low end of commercial/professional grade. Could pay thousands more. But this kind of jump is due to tariffs, which are nothing more than another tax on the people. If I weren't so crippled from Covid...

Smoking baby back ribs for Valentine’s Day. Yes it’s a day early but she is acting feisty and wants to have them today. I wanted to wait, mainly because it’s a great day to be in the woods and I’m running out of time for logging pines. However her wish is my command. Fighting the smoker. Started with way too much fire. Had to tear it all down and nearly start over. Then it became a baby sitting job. Finally have it all dialed in and am able to leave it alone for short stints. Using apple wood for something different. Also we’re sampling a few different flavors of SBR sauce. We buy the original by the gallons so this should be something interesting. Smoke on.

Finally got the smoker stabilized at 250 where it stayed for several hours. I think I was just a bit too eager to smoke these ribs. In summary, smoked for 2 and 1/2 hours until temps hit about 165 - 170. Meat seemed a bit tough, I had my concerns. Wrapped and let set at 250 for another 1 and 1/2 hours, meat was juicy and tender. Put it to bed in butcher paper and a towel in a cooler. Standard term is resting, I like to put it to bed. Not sure why, maybe it’s the pig in a blanket mentality. While it rested I put some cherry on my fire and let the pork-n-beans smoke to temp for an hour. I also put some veggies and garlic bread on the warming rack. Splitting the ribs with a knife and I actually impressed myself. A beautiful smoke ring. Meat cooked completely through and juices flowing. The meat didn’t fall off the bone, but it was easily sucked clean. I told my wife that I never enjoyed sucking a bone as much as these ribs. She didn’t even give me her “your disgusting “ look, she was too busy with her own. At the end of the meal we had both over indulged. I knew immediately that there would be no hanky panky tonight we were both on the verge of miserable. But it was oh so good. Many thanks to TwistedMister, Ark and a neighbor of mine for the inspiration of pursuing another hobby.

I'm not sure if I'll make anything. At least the temperature is above freezing; back in 2015, it was -23. I don't recall ever having too much fire at the beginning... usually that happens partway through when I step away to do something else and return to find the temp way too high. The Mrs. got me a GrillEye Pro some time ago. It was supposed to be this amazing gadget for tracking temps via cell phone, but it didn't perform quite as well as promised. It kept dropping its connection randomly. Then the manufacturer stopped releasing updates and eventually ceased support entirely. Apparently they are going out of business completely now, so the device will no longer work as advertised. According to a notice on their website, all remaining hardware is still available for purchase even though it won't function properly anymore. Jerks. That thing wasn't cheap.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Sat Feb 14, 2026 10:07 am > I'm not sure if I'll make anything. At least the temperature is above freezing; back in 2015, it was -23. > > I don't recall ever having too much fire at the beginning... usually that happens partway through when I step away to do something else and return to find the temp way too high. > > The Mrs. got me a GrillEye Pro some time ago. It was supposed to be this amazing gadget for tracking temps via cell phone, but it didn't perform quite as well as promised. It kept dropping its connection randomly. Then the manufacturer stopped releasing updates and eventually ceased support entirely. Apparently they are going out of business completely now, so the device will no longer work as advertised. According to a notice on their website, all remaining hardware is still available for purchase even though it won't function properly anymore. Jerks. That thing wasn't cheap. I don’t need another phone app. I already have two installed and that suffices. That’s also why I opted for this separate device instead of an app-based one. The probes are hardwired into a display unit at the grill, communicating with it via radio waves rather than Wi-Fi or Bluetooth. Simple and idiot proof.

I was watching Steven Raichlen’s Project Smoke on PBS. Earlier in the thread, T&G mentioned a "smoking bible." I assume that refers to one of his books. Today he cold-smoked hamburgers. He formed them and placed them on a rack inside the smoker with a pan filled with ice for about an hour before grilling them over charcoal. Tonight I grilled Mrs.Ark’s filet mignon. Seared it over hot charcoal for a minute per side, then moved it to the offset grill until the internal temp reached 140°F. Perfect medium-rare next time though, I want to try reverse searing: start with low heat in the offset smoker until the core hits 120°F, then finish on high heat.

> ARK wrote: ↑Sun Feb 15, 2026 2:15 am > I was watching Steven Raichlen’s Project Smoke on PBS. Earlier in the thread, T&G mentioned a "smoking bible." I assume that refers to one of his books. > > Today he cold-smoked hamburgers. He formed them and placed them on a rack inside the smoker with a pan filled with ice for about an hour before grilling them over charcoal. > > Tonight I grilled Mrs.Ark’s filet mignon. Seared it over hot charcoal for a minute per side, then moved it to the offset grill until the internal temp reached 140°F. Perfect medium-rare next time though, I want to try reverse searing: start with low heat in the offset smoker until the core hits 120°F, then finish on high heat. The smoking bible is titled “Project Smoke.” Yes, written by Raichlen. Twisted Mister recommended it to me. I really like his ideas for smoking things beyond just meat. My first time using this new kamado grill/smoker and I accidentally did a reverse sear. I thought I’d ruined some nice pork steaks, but actually they were great. Almost all my grilling now is done via the reverse method.

I did bacon-wrapped filets last night. The coals weren't hot enough so I added a stick of maple wood on either side and closed the lid. Baby peas were warming in a pan on a trivet, and carrots cooked in butter, brown sugar, and a pinch of pumpkin pie spice in my 10" cast iron skillet on the wood stove. Started the carrots early because I wanted them to caramelize slowly. Everything would have been fine except when flipping the filets, I opened the vents slightly and the ends of the maple sticks closest to the air intake caught fire. The filet nearest the flames got overcooked, going a bit past medium. We prefer somewhere between rare and mid-rare so I gave that one to myself. While the meat rested, I microwaved a jalapeño risotto cake and some scalloped potatoes from Omaha Steaks. They’re pricey compared to cooking from scratch but quite good, and the convenience makes them worth keeping on hand for occasional use. Also, Mrs. Twisted *loves* those risotto cakes and I haven't been able to replicate them. Sometimes I make garlic butter for steaks, but not this time—just salt and freshly ground pepper. Once upon a time I always ate well-done steak; if dining out I’d say "black on the outside and brown inside." Little did I know that was actually a shitty way to cook it. Then Mrs. Twisted and I went to a specific Japanese restaurant, feeling adventurous for once, and ordered 'rare beef.' The meat was practically raw, fridge-cold temperature, having barely touched the grill for seconds per side, sliced very thin. It was delicious and amazed me. I was also chagrined because that’s when I realized I’d been ruining steaks for years. My cooking of all meats improved greatly after that night... dry and chewy is fine for jerky but everything else should not be.

I prefer a thinner steak as well. But I like them cooked without being bloody/mooing. When I was in college, I worked at a higher-end Mexican restaurant and spent many nights on the mesquite-fired grill. Probably my favorite position there. That’s where I became a fan of fajitas, especially shrimp. One night a guy ordered his steak rare. Our steaks were about an inch thick. I seared all four sides quickly, creating a beautiful checkered pattern with light greying between the marks. The inside was definitely icebox temp. The customer totally ripped into the waitress for it; she brought it back crying. So I made another one. Let each side hit the grill for two seconds. Total time on the grill: no more than 10 seconds. Bloody and ice cold, I sent it out thinking this guy wouldn’t treat such a sweet waitress like that under my watch. Mr. Prehistoric caveman asshole loved it. Why did I even bother searing it at all? He probably died of colon cancer anyway. Maybe I’ve butchered too much meat to be turned on by raw flesh.

I used to prefer my steaks thin, but not anymore. Thick and juicy is the way to go for me, definitely not overcooked. When I buy a tenderloin and cut it myself, I usually make them 1½" to 2" thick. I once ate raw chicken... unintentionally. It was at a fairly posh place with my wife's family. I ordered chicken cordon bleu. The lighting was very subdued. After eating about a third of it, I thought, "This seems odd." I always carry a small flashlight and finally took it out to check—the breast had not seen the oven at all; completely raw. Gordon Ramsay would have been apoplectic. I flagged down the waitress and showed her with my light. She was mortified. I was very nice about it, just saying, "Could you take this back to the kitchen and heat it up a bit more?" Had to wait a while; she brought me an entirely new one. I didn't think that was necessary—I would have been fine if they’d just put the first one in the oven for a moment. That’s probably the only time I’ve ever sent food back, though once I walked out of a place because it was so bad I completely lost my appetite.

Give this a try: pork steaks. It’s basically a cross-cut from the pork butt. Season with Cavender’s all-purpose Greek seasoning and cook for 2 minutes per side over charcoal. Good stuff.

> ARK wrote: ↑Mon Feb 16, 2026 12:48 am > Season with Cavender’s all-purpose Greek seasoning. I use that often to get the "Ooh, it tastes just like my yia-yia used to make!"

Cavender’s is made in Harrison, Arkansas (north central). Go figure. Redneck Lipstick BBQ sauce and Sassy Jones BBQ sauce are also produced there. I watched Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmare this weekend. After two episodes, I’m scared to eat out. Mrs Ark said she’d hate to see the cooking area of a local hamburger franchise that has been in the same building for 40 years. Another day passing by a donut shop, I asked her if it was still open; she said yes since they’re selling drugs there now. A buddy told me the local Sonic is also dispensing meds out the back door. Man, I am clueless. I used to buy donut holes for my daughters on Saturday mornings at that same shop. Gordon Ramsay needs to come to Arkansas and inspect restaurants personally. I do not trust health departments with their grading systems.

> ARK wrote: ↑Tue Feb 17, 2026 12:46 am > Cavender’s is made in Harrison, Arkansas (north central). Go figure. Redneck Lipstick BBQ sauce and Sassy Jones BBQ sauce are also produced there. > > I watched Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmare this weekend. After two episodes, I’m scared to eat out. Mrs Ark said she’d hate to see the cooking area of a local hamburger franchise that has been in the same building for 40 years. Another day passing by a donut shop, I asked her if it was still open; she said yes since they’re selling drugs there now. A buddy told me the local Sonic is also dispensing meds out the back door. Man, I am clueless. I used to buy donut holes for my daughters on Saturday mornings at that same shop. > > Gordon Ramsay needs to come to Arkansas and inspect restaurants personally. I do not trust health departments with their grading systems. We rarely eat out. When we do it’s slim pickings regarding where we’re willing to go. Even for a day trip into town, we pack our own lunch. Cost is another issue. The last time we ate out was at a local Chinese restaurant that has always been good. I usually bring my own Gatorade or order water; Mrs. G is addicted to Diet Pepsi. $2.50 for what feels like 25 cents worth of soda is gouging if ever I saw it. I’ve stopped complaining about her ordering drinks, though; otherwise eating out becomes too challenging.

> ARK wrote: ↑Tue Feb 17, 2026 12:46 am > Cavender’s is made in Harrison, Arkansas (north central). Go figure. Redneck Lipstick BBQ sauce and Sassy Jones BBQ sauce are also produced there. > > I watched Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmare this weekend. After two episodes, I’m scared to eat out. Mrs Ark said she’d hate to see the cooking area of a local hamburger franchise that has been in the same building for 40 years. Another day passing by a donut shop, I asked her if it was still open; she said yes since they’re selling drugs there now. A buddy told me the local Sonic is also dispensing meds out the back door. Man, I am clueless. I used to buy donut holes for my daughters on Saturday mornings at that same shop. > > Gordon Ramsay needs to come to Arkansas and inspect restaurants personally. I do not trust health departments with their grading systems. One time in the wee hours of the morning, I was inside a large well-known establishment (locally famous enough due to an infamous mobster being killed nearby). The exterior and dining room were fancy... but you wouldn’t have wanted to see that kitchen. There were 55-gallon trash barrels full of marinating meat sitting on the floor, cigarette butts scattered over the stoves, and roaches everywhere—the only place I’ve seen more was in a secret tunnel running between 110 Tremont Street and the Orpheum Theater across the alley. Any time you want some kind of dope, just ask line cooks at most any restaurant. If they don’t have what you need, they can tell you where to find it.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Tue Feb 17, 2026 7:03 am > We rarely eat out. When we do it’s slim pickings regarding where we’re willing to go. Even for a day trip into town, we pack our own lunch. Cost is another issue. The last time we ate out was at a local Chinese restaurant that has always been good. I usually bring my own Gatorade or order water; Mrs. G is addicted to Diet Pepsi. $2.50 for what feels like 25 cents worth of soda is gouging if ever I saw it. I’ve stopped complaining about her ordering drinks, though; otherwise eating out becomes too challenging. Eating out is fairly rare for us as well. Aside from the cost, I cook better than most places around here offer. Once in a while I get a craving for an McD hamburger or BK Whopper Jr., but those are relatively cheap fixes. Sometimes Chinese food—I’ve never mastered making it from scratch, though there’s decent frozen stuff at grocery stores that I keep on hand... especially Korean bulgogi dumplings; they’re great.

This topic has over 18,000 views and is mainly driven by T&G and TM. I think that’s amazing; I’ve learned a lot about cooking meat. One member described this forum as a more mature older group. True enough. But it’s more than just males in chastity wishing they had a key holder or groups trying to monetize the fetish. Doubt new members even read this topic, yet there are several other threads here unrelated to chastity that remain interesting. Commenting on them helps develop your personality within the forum. There are also several newer members who aren’t in traditional relationships. Great! Would love to hear about their experiences and lifestyles. A little different spice makes the soup better. Now I will get off my soap box. Need to check with Mrs Ark what she wants for dinner. Looking at cooking something different—maybe a beer can hamburger or skirt steak. Searched YouTube for "beer can hamburger" and a video from an English guy popped up. His variation differed from mine; mine is basically burger, cheese, bacon, pickles, onions, lettuce, mustard, ketchup. He had black beans, egg, and several other condiments. Many years ago, I had a buddy go to Spain trying to eat something familiar so he ordered a hamburger with everything on it. When it arrived at his table, there was already a fried egg atop all the fixings. Had to remove the egg before eating his burger. Lately I’m seeing some places putting eggs on burgers anyway. Saw an episode of Guy Fieri’s Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives where he first encountered a hamburger topped with bologna. Never order one myself; just stick to plain bacon cheeseburgers. If in the mood for bologna though: thick slice of fried bologna, provolone cheese, bacon, mustard on a bun. Nothing better.

Egg on a hamburger? That sounds delicious; I may have to give that one a try. As for variety, consider a slaw burger top of the list. You usually need a fork for those. A proper loaded burger also requires a fork. Then there’s something extra special about a hamburger fried in an iron skillet. It's 0600 hours and I’m thinking about a breakfast burger or maybe that bologna sandwich I haven't had in years.

I stick to grilling meats over an open flame for most things, but I occasionally use the CI skillet, like a few nights ago when experimenting with something new. I picked up a fresh technique for compound butter: mash your add-ins using a mortar and pestle, then incorporate room-temperature butter into that mixture until it’s well combined. This method supposedly yields a stronger flavor than just stirring ingredients into melted butter. I own two sets—a lighter brass one for delicate items and a heavy marble set for stuff that *really* needs crushing (thanks to Nigel Ng/Uncle Roger*** for showing me their potential). For garlic butter, I reached for the marble set. Two large cloves of garlic were mashed down into a paste after minimal prep—just peel and trim the root end; no need to slice or dice them first. I added enough butter to form substantial dollops on each of three burgers. Here’s the thing: unless you’re a 95-year-old Italian who lost his taste buds during Covid, two big cloves might be excessive. Hooo-doggie, that was potent. -Eggs on burgers- I do this sometimes too. Fry them sunny-side up or over *real* easy so the yolk stays liquid and bursts out with every bite. Keep napkins handy. I used to despise frying eggs, preferring scrambled because flipping always resulted in broken yolks. It turned out my problem was tools, not skill—non-stick pans and fat plastic spatulas were the culprits. After watching many 'slidey-egg' videos on Reddit’s cast iron community, I gave it a shot. A well-seasoned skillet, plenty of oil/lubrication, and a thin metal fish turner solved everything. -------------------------------------------------------------- The other night I made a smoked sausage potato stew (though the recipe called it ‘stew’, in my opinion, it was too watery). I followed the instructions closely for this baseline attempt. My tweaks: swapped kielbasa for smoked sausage, used heavy cream instead of sour cream, and omitted cabbage. First, lightly fry a pound of smoked sausage in a Dutch oven or heavy pot. The recipe suggested veg oil, but I used olive; next time, bacon fat would be ideal. Once the sausage is cooked, remove it and leave the fat behind. Add a pound of very thinly sliced potatoes and onion—I used a mandoline (AKA finger mutilator) for speed and thinner slices, which helps since we’re blending later. Just use the safety guard if you use the mandoline; nobody wants lost fingertips or running around hunting band-aids. The recipe calls for 1/2 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp pepper, and 1/4 tsp baking soda sprinkled over the taters and onion. I reduced the salt to 1/4tsp because my BTB base already has plenty of sodium, and I skipped the baking soda entirely. Baking soda is supposed to soften things faster, but for time savings? Debatable, especially on a wood stove which moves slower anyway. Plus, when I used it in scratch baked beans before, I could taste the difference...and didn't like it. Next step: add four cups of chicken stock and bring to a boil. However, having learned potato leek soup from an Irish fellow named Rory Calhoun (who lets potatoes/leeks soften gently first), I did that instead, then added the stock later. Once soft, blend with a stick blender. You could use a standard blender, but transferring back and forth is annoying; a stick blender saves the hassle. (Side note: if you’re out of butter but have heavy cream, you can make your own butter using the stick blender—remembering my porch-mounted butter churn one night when I was too lazy to drive 40-50 miles for more. Conversely, if you need heavy cream but are out, blend milk and butter together; it won’t whip as well but works for most purposes.) After blending, add dill (I used dried since fresh wasn't available), a couple of teaspoons of Dijon mustard, some cream, and the cooked sausage. Mix and serve. In my view, this was too thin compared to Rory Calhoun’s version, which I prefer as a base next time, perhaps skipping the dill and Dijon. A thicker consistency would also work well for corn chowder, especially if swapping smoked bacon in place of the sausage. ***(If you haven’t seen Nigel doing his Uncle Roger routine on U-tube, he’s quite amusing. He even did some segments with Gordon Ramsay, which helped me learn how to make creamed eggs.)

> . I could never get the hang of flipping them without busting the yolks The Mexican restaurant where I worked during college served a Sunday morning brunch. Since every penny counted back then, I’d work late Saturday night and return early Sunday morning. My boss, who had culinary school training, taught me many skills during those early shifts. He showed me how to crack two eggs simultaneously with one hand. He also demonstrated flipping eggs using only the skillet itself—more of a rolling motion than a traditional flip. I still make two over-easy nearly every day. Mrs. G is among the most creative cooks I’ve seen. Like TwistedMister, she improves upon recipes. Yet, she insists on using a spatula to turn my eggs when cooking for me. Oh, and another neat trick he taught me was removing the core from a head of lettuce by simply knocking it against the counter.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Wed Feb 18, 2026 1:38 pm > > . I could never get the hang of flipping them without busting the yolks > He also taught me how to flip eggs with only the skillet. It’s more of a rolling action than a flip. I can't do that, no matter how hard I try. I watch others just tossing food in the pan effortlessly, but it eludes me.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Thu Feb 19, 2026 12:37 am > > Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Wed Feb 18, 2026 1:38 pm > > > . I could never get the hang of flipping them without busting the yolks > > He also taught me how to flip eggs with only the skillet. It’s more of a rolling action than a flip. > I can't do that, no matter how hard I try. I watch others just tossing food in the pan effortlessly, but it eludes me. The same guy who taught me egg flipping loved quoting Clint Eastwood. He adored, “a must know his limitations”. Sorry, it just felt appropriate right then. This gives me an idea for a new cooking show: “cooking in cages”. A reality-style format.

Plan, Search for a skirt steak recipe. Why not? I’ve never cooked it. Buy the skirt steak and season overnight. Sunday, fire up the smoker for the skirt steak. Skirt steak dinner. Let Mrs. Ark handle the sides.

> ARK wrote: ↑Sat Feb 21, 2026 2:20 am > Plan, > Search for a skirt steak recipe. Why not? I’ve never cooked it. > Buy the skirt steak and season overnight. > Sunday, fire up the smoker for the skirt steak. > Skirt steak dinner. > Let Mrs. Ark handle the sides. I’m planning another chicken roast next week. Mostly looking forward to eating onion from the inside out. Thinking about adding some beer to the drip pan.

Cleared out one of the freezers and found four or five containers of pulled pork. No labels, but they were stored with chicken and pork chops dated for '21. That was when Covid landed me in the ICU; I stayed in rehab until nearly a year later. Not cooking much during that time explains why they got forgotten. What a waste. FedEx delivered more SBR recently, so guess I’ll have to fetch another butt...

Skirt steak. 1) Found a recipe on . Sounded promising. The marinade included oranges, lemon, and limes. 2) Went to Walmart but they had no skirt steak. Plan B Buy 2 ribeyes and grill tonight. Off to start the charcoal grill.

> ARK wrote: ↑Sun Feb 22, 2026 6:30 pm > Skirt steak. > 1) Found a recipe on . Sounded promising. The marinade included oranges, lemon, and limes. > 2) Went to Walmart but they had no skirt steak. > Plan B > Buy 2 ribeyes and grill tonight. > Off to start the charcoal grill. As much as I’ve come to appreciate smoking meat, I still love a grilled or barbecued chunk. It takes me back to my cave man days. Grunt grunt.

I never buy meat or produce at WallyWorld. The quality has always been poor to begin with, and it goes bad very quickly. I’d rather scrape up roadkill and grill that.

Saturday evening, Mrs. Ark and I had a few options. We could go to the grocery store and pay higher prices for mediocre selection. In addition, the local grocer does much the same as Walmart. The steaks turned out great. Started the grill, took the steaks from the fridge, placed both on the hot side once ready. Seared 2 minutes per side. Then moved them away from direct heat. Flipped each steak twice after about 7 minutes per flip. Checked temperature: Mrs. Ark’s was 140F (medium-well), mine was 135F (medium). Let them rest for 10 minutes, then served with mixed veggies. I considered reverse searing the steaks but had never done it with ribeyes before and didn’t want to ruin a good cut.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but…. Last week a neighbor sold off a slaughter bull. A slaughter bull is arguably the worst meat out there—old and tough. You mostly get hamburger, soup bones, and dog food from these animals. Not too long ago they sold for $.25 cents per pound; 50 cents felt like robbing a bank. My neighbor’s bull weighed just under 2500 lbs and sold for $2.08 per pound! Someone paid over $5k for what amounts to junk meat. By the way, when you slaughter beef this large, you lose about 40 percent of weight due to waste. Sorry but don’t expect meat prices to drop anytime soon. In fact, I’ve read that protein-based items will remain sky-high for who knows how long. I don’t care if it’s Omaha steaks or Walmart recycled cardboard cuts. If it’s on sale, grab two and freeze one. Eat more venison!

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Mon Feb 23, 2026 7:54 pm > Eat more venison! I would but I can’t cut them up myself. Had a decent herd pass through recently, leaving tracks in the fresh snow. The dog was very interested, but I called her off. I flunked Biology because I couldn’t dissect a worm properly; putting worms on hooks is about as far advanced as my skills go. Filet mignon $34/lb at the grocery store, bone-in NY strip $20, 80/20 burger meat almost $6. I bought chicken and pork instead. On one hand, ranchers complain about small herds driving up prices due to low supply; on the other hand, they’re foaming at the mouth at the prospect of tons of Argentine beef entering the market. Look, if you’ve got no beef to sell, shut the hell up.

Once a month or so, a local grocery store has a meat sale. Weekend special. Checking it out reveals brownish-red color and not much marbling. The big kicker? It’s often made in Mexico. Walmart beef isn’t the absolute bottom of the barrel though. When I get the chance, I like to go to Sam’s Club and buy a trimmed tenderloin or ribeye roast. Take it home, cut steaks from them, vacuum seal, and throw into the freezer. When cutting up the tenderloin, I discard the silver skin but save all small trimmings, slicing those as steak bites. Digging in Mrs. Ark’s freezer, found two filet mignons I preserved on 1/25/25. No freezer burn. Might be our next steak dinner.

> On one hand ranchers cryin' about small herds, little beef to sell so high prices, on the other hand they're foamin' at the mouth at the prospect of tons of Argentine beef coming in. Look, if you got no beef to sell, shut the hell up.. I’m not sure why America’s beef population is so low. They say it’s the lowest in over 50 years. I’ve also read that small family farmers are nearly extinct. I can personally testify this is true. The family farm where I grew up was controlled by an uncle who had no interest in farming. He offered it to me some years back for $750k. It was sweet land, but there was no way cattle and grain could pay for it. Not to mention he’d removed many miles of fencing. He sold it later to a wealthy man for $1.2 million; the rich man uses it as a weekend getaway. I’ve been saying most of my life that this nation has little respect and fully abuses its two greatest natural resources: Timber and farm ground. One day we will starve ourselves in the name of subdivisions and recreation. My current setup runs only 6 cows. It may not sound like much, but when a thousand farms like mine die within just my state, that’s 6,000 head annually missing from the market. All adds up nationwide. My kids have no interest in keeping this place for farming. I don’t blame them either. So another one will bite the dust someday. Back to beef prices. Many cattlemen friends are puzzled too and can’t believe the price hasn’t busted yet. Many doubt the market can sustain current levels. Who knows? Venison anyone?

> Walmart beef is not the bottom of the barrel. Maybe not where you are, but it is here. I get some meats from Sam's occasionally, but the price at my local* big grocer is usually comparable. They have an edge on quality, so it’s not worth going just for meat. If I’m there for something else and see good deals, I’ll grab them. Recently discovered a real butcher shop nearby; will be making a trip to compare. Yeah, I like getting the whole tenderloin and cutting it myself too. Also whole pork loins—grocery store chops can run $4.50-$5/lb, but I get the whole loin for $1.69 or $1.79/lb, cut into exact thicknesses at a fraction of the price. Last trip recently picked up a rack of back ribs. Don’t know how they differ from the St. Louis cut I usually buy, but will give them a try. Wasn't happy with baby backs before, so these looked OK. *('Local', in this context, means the closest city that actually qualifies as one; there’s no selection within a mile or two like when I lived further south. No actual grocery stores at all in my little village—there is a small one about halfway between here and the city carrying most of the same products, but selection isn’t nearly as good. If I want real Parmesano-Regiano block, pancetta, or brisket that isn't pre-packaged for corned beef/pork belly, it’s a trip to the city.)

> . Last trip the other night I picked up a rack of back ribs, don't know how they differ from the St. Louis cut I usually buy, but will give them a try. Wasn't happy with baby backs before, so these looked OK. The difference is in the location of the cut. STL is lower down while baby backs are higher up. Baby backs tend to be fattier, which might explain your preference for STL. The thing about Wally World around here is that its home base is Arkansas. I think this affects store operations. The local Walmart (30 miles away counts as local) has a pretty decent meat selection. When we went shopping for back ribs last month, we visited a fresh butcher shop in a neighboring town instead. I know the owner personally and have done business with her for two decades. A rack of baby backs was over $30 there. We decided to pass. A week later she was at Walmart where racks were on sale for $10. We ate three meals off those, and they were superb. I believe in supporting small private businesses, but… Ground meat is where garbage hides, so I always go to my butcher buddy because I know his standards. He doesn’t hide junk in ground meat—that’s why he’s popular. And he carries the best natural charcoal you can find.

> [[P158049]] wrote: ↑Tue Feb 24, 2026 8:00 am > > On one hand ranchers cryin' about small herds, little beef to sell so high prices, on the other hand they're foamin' at the mouth at the prospect of tons of Argentine beef coming in. Look, if you got no beef to sell, shut the hell up.. > I’m not sure why the American beef population is so low. They say it’s the lowest in over 50 years. I've seen a number of [alleged] reasons written about lately, one of them was drought and lack of feed. > I have also read that the small family gentlemen farmer is almost extinct. I can personally testify this to be true. It's tough to compete with the big operations, especially when you have the Chinese coming in and buying up huge chunks of land, not just land that supplies feed but meat outfits too, like they've done with the pigs. And when they can't buy the smaller outfits directly they make it so that the only option is to contract with them. It's hard for a small guy to compete with the CAFOs. In my opinion, the Chinese should absolutely not be allowed to own any farms, farmland or meat operations. The Chinese are one of our biggest enemies, but we are letting them control so much of our food production? It's suicide, the Chinese are engaging in economic warfare against us, I don't know why I seem to be the only one who sees it. They don't need to engage in combat with bullets and bombs if they can starve us out, the writing is on the wall, in big spray-painted letters like graffiti in the city but nobody is reading it. I learned to play the game of 'Risk' in the Army and we would spend many hours gaming out various strategies. The basic object is to control territory, but the Chinese aren't doing it with armies, they are just buying us up. > The family farm I grew up on was controlled by an uncle who had no interest in farming. He offered it to me some years back for $750k. It was a sweet piece of ground but there was no way I could make cattle and grain pay for it. Not to mention that he had removed many miles of fence. He sold it to a rich man for $1.2 million. The rich man uses it as a family weekend getaway. Once upon a time, the majority of business was small, private operations. Business and land would be passed on to the younger generations to run. Now, it seems that the trend is that the owner families want to get 'bought out', whether it's by family or a big corp- they don't care who, they just want to extract maximum value for the operation so that they can retire in comfort, fuck the future generations. Fencing is expensive, I've learned that myself over the last couple of years. Popples grow like weeds around here, well, they *are* weeds, basically- they are not individual trees, they are a single living organism that spreads through nodules in the root system. Around here, people have to make sure to keep the fields cut to keep them from spreading, but I've hit on the idea of letting some of them grow and harvesting them for fencing before they get too big. > I have been saying for most of my life that this nation has no respect and fully abuses it’s two greatest natural resources. Timber and farm ground. One day we will starve ourselves out in the name of subdivisions and recreation. Much truth there, I think. > My current setup only runs 6 cows. It may not sound like much but when a thousand farms like this die just in my state then that’s 6 thousand head a year that don’t go to market. It all adds up nationwide. > My kids have no interest in keeping this place to farm. I really don’t blame them either. So another one will bite the dust one day. That's true too. And I have direct experience of how that works- it's short-sightedness and a lack of educating the young folks properly. But, who can teach kids who think they know everything but don't have enough experience to see the big picture? I was one of those 'dumb' kids. My old man built an oil business from nothing- one shitty old tank truck and enough money for one load of #2 oil. By the time he was done he owned his own office building and tanker operation with 10s of thousands of gallons of storage. I worked for him when I was a kid, and I hated it. I hated going to school with my clothes stinking of oil and wanted to get out as soon as I could. But, what I didn't realize was that that was the smell of money and independence. Owning your own business is controlling your own future. But us kids didn't see it. I took off to enlist in the Army, as did one of my other brothers. Two more brothers did their own things. For as 'smart' as we were (all high IQ, technically) we were stupid as hell and none of us wanted anything to do with it, though he often talked about us taking over. After the Army, and scrabbling for a living for a while, I began to realize that the old man had the right idea. I went back home but it was too late. While I was gone he had got to the point where he wanted to retire, and since none of us kids wanted anything to do with the business, he had sold it. I was a dumbass, but I can admit it. I did learn some important things from him though. When I was delivering oil, I got paid a penny per gallon instead of by the hour. I learned how to hustle, how to plan, and to get the job done in the shortest amount of time instead of trading hours for dollars. That 'get it done' attitude served me well, even when I *was* trading hours for dollars in a J-O-B. The other thing I learned, was that when faced with a problem pissing and moaning about it didn't get anything done, you figure out a solution as quickly as possible and move on. That also served me well, in the Army and beyond. My old man didn't have a lot of education, but he was 'smart' in other ways, I was just too 'dumb' to see it at the time. > Back to beef prices. Many of the cattlemen I know are just as puzzled about the prices and can’t believe that it hasn’t busted. Many don’t think the market can continue like it is. I think the first step is to kick out the Chinese. Take everything back and send them packing.

> [[P158049]] wrote: ↑Tue Feb 24, 2026 9:16 am > > . Last trip the other night I picked up a rack of back ribs, don't know what the difference is from the St. Louis cut I usually get but I'll give 'em a try. I know I wasn't happy with baby backs but these looked OK. > It’s all in the location of the cut. Stl is lower while baby back up high. Baby backs are fattier which may be why you prefer stl. > The thing about Wally World around here is that it’s home base is in Arkansas. I would think this may have something to do with store operations. The local Walmart here, 30 miles is local, has a pretty good meat selection. When we went shopping for back ribs a month ago we went to a fresh butcher shop in a neighboring town. I know the owner personally and have done business for two decades. A rack of bbacks was over $30. We decided to pass. A week later she was at Walmart and a rack was on sale for $10. > We ate three meals off those and they were superb. I believe in supporting small private businesses, but….. > Ground meat is where garbage is hidden so I will always go to my butcher buddy because I know his standard on his products. He doesn’t hide junk in ground meat, that’s why he’s so popular. And he has the best natural charcoal you can find. I think I paid $17 for this rack. I forget how much it weighs but I think it's going to take up most of the smoker. Might have room for a half loin to the side of it. The big grocer here does their own cutting and trimming, and grinds their own burger fresh daily so I'm confident about the quality. And there's been a few days when I've hit it just right, later in the evening, and whatever didn't sell that day they are literally giving away for free. Puts a big smile on my face when I can score 10lbs of fresh burger for nothing.

> . n my opinion, the Chinese should absolutely not be allowed to own any farms, farmland or meat operations. The Chinese are one of our biggest enemies, but we are letting them control so much of our food production? It's suicide, the Chinese are engaging in economic warfare against us, I don't know why I seem to be the only one who sees it. They don't need to engage in combat with bullets and bombs if they can starve us out, the writing is on the wall, in big spray-painted letters like graffiti in the city but nobody is reading it. You are spot on here. Missouri, my state of residence has outlawed foreign ownership of Missouri soil. I recently saw a map of Chinese owned soil and it’s proximity to our military bases. That map should be a wake up call to anyone who calls themselves an American. I’ve also recently seen an article on why the Chinese have to take this approach. Geographically we have a wall of oceans and mountains. Internally we have a citizen defense system. There is a national average of 1.25 guns for every citizen. Our second amendment is probably protecting us more than anyone really knows. As for passing my farm to my kids. I know it won’t happen because of their career paths and my location. They could never be employed within a 2 hour drive from where I’m at. One is an engineer and manages 4 plants around the country the other is in medical research. I’m proud of their success. Who knows they may keep the place as an investment for their own retirement. They both make more money than I ever did, they don’t need anything I have acquired. Wait I’m not underground yet. Back to meat smoking, there’s too much life in front of me.

Mrs Ark and I stopped at a BBQ truck for lunch. He is open on Friday and Tuesday. A rack of baby back ribs cooked was $30. We just got pulled pork sandwiches and cole slaw. Mrs. Ark might send me to the Friday to get pulled pork for supper. If the weather is right, might be a good excuse to right my bike. Cooked Mrs Ark filet mignon this weekend. USDA grade from Walmart. The steaks had good marbling. Reversed seared them. I checked the temp and internal temperature was 117F. Cooked for 5 minutes and internal temperature jumped to 134F. Seared 2 minutes on both side and internal temperature was 147F. I was shooting for 140F. Let the steaks rest for 10 minutes. Cut into them, they were medium well. Still good and juicy. Filets are more forgiving when overcooked.

> [[P158049]] wrote: ↑Mon Mar 02, 2026 1:10 am > Mrs Ark and I stopped at a BBQ truck for lunch. He is open on Friday and Tuesday. A rack of baby back ribs cooked was $30. We just got pulled pork sandwiches and cole slaw. Mrs. Ark might send me to the Friday to get pulled pork for supper. If the weather is right, might be a good excuse to right my bike. > Cooked Mrs Ark filet mignon this weekend. USDA grade from Walmart. The steaks had good marbling. Reversed seared them. I checked the temp and internal temperature was 117F. Cooked for 5 minutes and internal temperature jumped to 134F. Seared 2 minutes on both side and internal temperature was 147F. I was shooting for 140F. Let the steaks rest for 10 minutes. Cut into them, they were medium well. Still good and juicy. Filets are more forgiving when overcooked. Hands in the air! You are under arrest for crimes against Bovinity! You have, with malice and extreme negligence, tortured an expensive cut of beef. You are hereby sentenced to eat nothing but bull penis for the rest of your unnatural life. Last night I smoked a pan of thick-cut bacon and onions, and a pan of baked beans. Then I dumped the bacon and onions into the beans, and smoked 'em for a little longer. Yummy. Ooh, I still have a few ribs left from the last rack, I should carve them up and put them into what's left of the beans. I have another rack that needs to get done up.

In the mood to smoke a small brisket. At Walmart, a full untrimmed brisket is $4.49 a pound. I usually spend an hour trimming off a couple pounds of fat. A small trimmed brisket is $9.86 a pound. A fully cooked, sliced and package brisket is $18.49 a pound. Checking a new york strip is $19.99 a pound. Plan was to buy a round steak for supper. At 2:00 pm, Walmart’s meat selection slim. No round steak, had some different cuts but not what I was wanting. Went to a local grocery store. They did have round steak for $10.29 a pound but it was on sale for $8.99 a pound. In addition, their meat selection was thin. Packaged hamburger was $7.99 a pound and store ground hamburger was $8.99 a pound. I realized living in a small community, the meat selection is not going to be that great. I believe the stores are putting out less meat so that the do not have to discount the meat when it hits its expiration date. It is also Monday, not a big shopping day.

> I believe the stores are putting out less meat so that the do not have to discount the meat when it hits its expiration date. If fewer people are buying because of increased prices, that would make sense. You're getting fucked even worse than we are. Are they supplying the Vaseline or do you have to bring your own?

> . It is also Monday, not a big shopping day. In the early eighties I worked in a high end grocery store. At least for our small town it was high end. One thing we were known for was we had a fully staffed butcher shop. It was common for customers to talk directly to the head butcher and place an order that would be ready before they could finish shopping. He would always find you in the store and personally place your order in your cart and invite you to come again. He was a great guy and I learned a lot about customer service by observing how he operated. As for Monday shopping. Tuesday was our primary delivery day. We staffed extra part timers just to help unload delivery trucks. Friday was our secondary delivery day to prepare for weekend shoppers. I think most grocery stores still operate like this. Try shopping on Wednesday or Thursday for best selection. But don’t expect any sales until Friday.

> As for Monday shopping. Tuesday was our primary delivery day. We staffed extra part timers just to help unload delivery trucks. Friday was our secondary delivery day to prepare for weekend shoppers. I think most grocery stores still operate like this. Try shopping on Wednesday or Thursday for best selection. But don’t expect any sales until Friday. Interesting, I'll have to look into that. There's one store here, that it seems like Thursday evening is when all the hot chicks go shopping there, more than any of the other stores of the same chain. This is notable because around here we have a somewhat limited selection of women that can be considered 'hot'.

This morning Mrs. Ark suggested smoked chicken for supper. Found a recipe that called for marinading in italian dressing and fajita seasoning over night. Well, I don’t have the time to marinade. Went simple. Bought a whole chicken, beer and hickory chunks. Got the smoker going, seasoned chicken with seasoning salt and started soaking my chucks. Once the coals were ready, assembled my smoker, shoved a can of beer in the chicken cavity, and poured a beer and water in my water bowel. Unfortunately, I bought 16 oz beers and the chicken was top heavy. I was afraid it was going to fall over. Backed up, cut the top off the beer can and reinserted can of beer and placed chicken on lowest rack. Smoker going. Quartered a zucchini and squash, seasoned, seasoned corn and placed on smoker top rack. After 2 hours, chicken was not done and Mrs. Ark was getting hungry. Heated the oven to 350F and placed chicken in over for 30 minutes. Chicken was moist and had a good smoke flavor. Veggies had a smoke flavor also. Mrs. Ark said the veggies had a metallic taste. Next time either grill the veggies or do not use hickory. Plan for Thursday is to smoke the brisket. I would like to get the brisket on by 10 am and cook till 5 pm. Wrap in foil and place in over at 250F for an hour. Update everyone on how it turns out.

I did a chicken last Saturday. I used apple wood and a beer in the drip pan. I think it was a waste of the beer myself. I preferred the first chicken I did. I used maple on that one and no beer. I’m considering doing a venison tenderloin next. Any suggestions?

I used the last of the ribs on Monday night, adding them to soup instead of beans. I had some leftover chicken broth but it wasn't quite enough, so I added a can of Progresso Wedding Soup. I carved the meat from the rib bones, chopped it up slightly, and threw everything into the pot along with a cup of water, including the ribs themselves, then set it on the wood stove to simmer overnight. I also smoked some jalapeño bratwursts and ate them with leftover beans. I left the soup pot with the rib bones on the stove simming during Tuesday as well. That evening, I fished out the bones, added half a bag of frozen peas and carrots (they’ve shrunk recently too; it was only 14oz instead of the usual pound) plus a can of corn, chopped up an onion, tossed that in, and let it simmer some more. I thought there was butter at room temperature, but it turns out mice like butter. Little pests. They are sneaky; you never see them, but I know they’re around. If I saw one, I’d hit it with a #12 shot because 30-30 is no good indoors. I put a chunk of cold butter into the mortar along with 3 tablespoons of flour while feeding the animals and waiting for the butter to soften slightly. At first, I wasn’t sure if our dog wanted supper. Just a few days ago we were wondering how much she would eat if given free rein, but yesterday proved that answer: she eats until she’s sick. I came down from my office for coffee and slipped on a big pile of regurgitated kibble on the bottom step. Later, I found two more large piles of vomited kibble in the living room carpet. She must have raided a neighbor because this food was wrong size and color compared to what we give her; she’s going to get shot if she keeps it up—someone might think she's an oversized coyote (some neighbors aren't exactly bright). It didn’t look like she reached our own bag, but I put that one on a high shelf anyway. Last week she managed to grab a 3lb bag of grits and tore it all over the carpet; there were mouse droppings mixed in with the mess, so we figured a mouse got inside and she was chasing those rather than the grits themselves. Damn mice. We’ve had more trouble from them this winter than ever before. Anyway, our dog did want her supper and ate it up with usual gusto. Her DNA results came back—someone has been or is being lied to. We were told she was custom-bred half Malinois and half Dutch Shepherd, but the results say 60% German Shepherd and the rest Alsatian, with a bit of mutt mixed in. But isn't 'Alsatian' just another name for GS? The British coined it when they were at war with Germany and didn’t want to call their dogs ‘German Shepherds’? I smell a scam somewhere here, probably Embark. After many long years sniffing out liars, scammers, and thieves, I’m rarely wrong. But do I really want to spend the money and effort to find out the truth? Not sure... So, animals fed up, I mashed the butter and flour together and stirred them into the soup, added some of my fresh-ground pepper blend, and let it cook a bit longer while I went outside to haul enough wood to fill the racks. Need to build a new woodshed. A couple years ago I climbed up to shovel snow off the roof of our old one; the roof turned out rotten and fell through right under me, collapsing the shed entirely. That was rough. The rib soup is good—nice, smooth, silky. I had a big bowl and went back for seconds. Mrs Twisted will miss out because there won’t be any left by the time she returns. Too bad. It’s alright though; another rack of ribs is ready to go into the smoker this weekend. ETA: I woke up at sunrise today feeling my bed bouncing like an energetic teenage couple was fucking right next to me. I opened one eye and saw our big cat playing with a mouse. At least that one was dead, unlike the last time she brought one; it landed on my neck after she threw it at me, stared for a second with its beady eyes before scampering up my arm across Mrs Twisted’s pillow to escape. I went back to sleep. Not sure where this particular mouse ended up; wasn’t there when I woke again. Still didn't see it looking around the bed. I suspect the cat will drag it out from wherever she hid it to play with again, and one of us will discover it in the worst way possible—by stepping on it barefoot in the dark. It won't be the first time.

@TwistedMister. Two thoughts about your recent adventures. First, we have started swapping corn for hominy. We used to make our own when I was a kid and I really miss it. Mrs G starting using it thrilled me. Give it a try; my bet is you won’t go back to corn. Cornbread still gets corn added to it, but that’s about all the corn does these days. Second, I hate mice. Growing up in an old farmhouse, you could hear those little pests scampering through the walls. Ten years ago they destroyed the wiring on my favorite truck ever; worthless creatures. Whoever thought vegetable-based wire coating was a good idea should never be employed again. When my wife cleans out her chicken coop it is always fun to see who catches mice first: our Australian healer or the chickens. Doesn't matter, just kill them. We keep four barn cats outside for mouse control. One of those also catches voles and usually leaves them on the front porch. Did I mention how much I hate these little beasts? Okay, third thought. Nothing beats dishpan soup left simmering on a wood stove for hours.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Wed Mar 04, 2026 3:33 pm > We keep four outside barn cats for mouse control. One of them will also catch voles, it always leaves them on the front porch. There is at least one feral cat that visits us regularly, plus a bobcat or lynx. We stopped letting our housecats go out because they get eaten. We have what are called 'fisher cats', which are actually mustelids related to weasels. I lost one of my favorite cats, presumably to one of them later on. The dog eventually brought back a skull; at first glance it looked like a bear skull but turned out to be from a fisher cat, significantly larger than average. They are vicious little creatures and among the few that hunt and kill porcupines. I have only seen one in person once mostly just seeing their tracks.

Around here, bobcats are the only thing that eat cats. A friend recently told me that bobcats can spread a fever to domestic cats called 'bobcat fever'. It transfers when a bobcat sheds a tick and reattaches it to the house cat.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Thu Mar 05, 2026 7:50 am > Around here the only thing to eat a cat is a bobcat. I have recently learned from a friend that bobcats can spread a fever to domestic cats called, ‘bobcat fever’ it’s transferred when the bobcat sheds a tick that reattaches to the domestic cat. Well, that sent me down a rabbit hole. Fortunately, the Lone Star tick hasn't arrived [yet].

> . Well, that sent me down a rabbithole. My apologies. Just think about all the interesting stuff you’ve been exposed to on this site. My wife is still puzzled by some topics like meat smoking; she has no desire to venture here yet.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Thu Mar 05, 2026 1:24 pm > > . Well, that sent me down a rabbithole. > My apologies. Just think about all the interesting stuff that you’ve been exposed to on this site. Absolutely no apology necessary; I enjoy learning things I didn't know before. I believe staying curious helps keep me alive. Although sometimes what I learn displeases me, when I stop caring is the day I start dying.

Yesterday I smoked a brisket. It spent five and a half hours on the smoker before being pulled off at 170F; wrapped in aluminum foil it went into the oven for two more hours at 225F. After pulling it out, let it rest thirty minutes until hitting 180F total temperature. Then sliced and served. The thinner section was falling apart easily while the thicker part remained moist but required a knife to cut through. Overall good result—moist and tender with flavor Mrs Ark liked. Previously my brisket had been too spicy due to cayenne pepper; this time I left that out of the rub. Regarding going down rabbit holes: no apologies needed here either. Like TM, I find these topics great value. You taught me a lot about cattle business. This subject and others feel like Facebook does for chastity enthusiasts—kinda how some folks use their actual Facebook accounts just to check on businesses that have pages but lack websites. Wednesday saw our local grocery store advertise top sirloin buy-one-get-one-free. Yesterday I went in only to find they had sold out completely; next shipment arrives Saturday. Meanwhile filet mignon was priced at $30/lb so I need a trip to Sam’s Club soon to purchase whole tenderloins and cut my own steaks.

Additional notes. The brisket weighed two pounds half ounces total. I was estimating roughly half a pound per person during cooking loss might reduce weight by another quarter-pound giving us about two finished pounds for four servings. Reality checked in though because after Mrs Ark and I devoured the main portion we still had enough leftover for snacks which disappeared before bedtime. Next time perhaps buying an entire brisket then trimming fat and splitting it halves would work better. This was my first attempt smoking just cutting one piece half way, seasoning directly onto meat placing straight on grill grates checking halfway through progress against target temps finding well below expectations removing water pan hoping more direct heat reach interior quickly unfortunately turning out badly since inside flames erupted minutes later scorching exterior surface brisket finally pulled off wrapped foil finished cooking several hours longer within oven.

> ARK wrote: ↑Fri Mar 06, 2026 11:27 pm > First time I smoked a brisket, just cut it in half, season, put on the smoker. Checked it half way to see how it was going. Well below target temperature. Decided to remove the water pan to get more heat to the meat. Bad idea. Within a few minutes, the inside of the smoker was ablaze. Burnt the outside of the brisket. Oh yes right you have that little bullet setup with fire directly underneath where fat melts off and POOF! A neighbor recently burned her house down spraying lighter fluid onto an already burning fireplace hearth overnight resulting critical condition hospitalization several deaths among cats remaining alive while whole structure total loss. Briskets cost less than houses anyway...for now. Might be time considering offset designs.

Tonight featuring Louisiana bourbon chicken dishes alrighty starting admitting often using prepackaged bases tonight specifically Zatarain's bourbon blend mixed into small pot filled water placed corner woodstove begin warming process then positioned 12" Lodge cast iron frying pan containing plenty butter middle area beefing fire strength box instructions called for one pound breast thigh cubed browned however deemed insufficient preferring partial cooking beforehand easier slicing. While skillet heated prepared charcoal chimney adding peas saucepan combined butter fresh-ground pepper placing woodstove pipe gentle heat source another 8" Victoria cast iron fry pan situated opposite corner extra butter added grabbed three chicken thighs slightly exceeding pound weight oiled surfaces sprinkled Zatarain's creole seasoning one side ready dumped hot coals right offset smoker accompanied maple sticks left grill grate positioned meanwhile chopped carrots relatively large chunks placed within 8-inch vessel lump brown sugar pumpkin spice. Thighs grilled twenty minutes golden underside flipped allowing another twenty completion bringing inside chopping pieces woodstove reached proper temperature transferring Lodge remaining partial cooking requiring further frying once heated added generous Old Crow bourbon dollops letting continue simmering rice pot began boiling dumping contents together butter mixture lingering slightly longer aside moved carrots center roasting peas corner increasing heat levels 25 minutes later everything plated ready Mrs Twisted enjoyed chicken/rice/carrots combination less enthusiastic regarding pea portion personally considered excellent meal overall.

Maple smoke combined iron skillet naturally delicious who could argue against that outcome?

Louisiana bourbon chicken sounds wonderful. Believes recipe rivals Bobby Flay standards. Preparing stuffed pork chops tonight: two butterflied cuts cream cheese ounces crawfish tail meat ounces sliced green onions creole seasoning bacon wrapping opening cooked forty minutes offset grill delicious eating

"No crawfish for me, yuck. Maybe butter/flour/herbs de provence mash and some cheddar...yeah, that sounds good. Somebody said: > don’t go full european on us Too late. Last night was smoked chicken drumsticks, risotto with carrots and peas, and *fasolakia lathera*- Greek green beans. *Lathera* means 'the ones with the oil'- a copious amount of olive oil, a classic example of Mediterranean cooking. Green beans slowly simmered in olive oil, with tomatoes, onions,, herbs/spices and potatoes. I left out the potatoes as I was already doing the risotto and I'm trying to cut back on the amount of starches/carbs in Mrs. Twisted's diet. (Unfortunately, her penchant for candy and potato chips is impeding my efforts.) Fasolakia 'should' be made with fresh green beans, but the last batch spoiled before I got to them. Frozen beans can be an acceptable substitute, but I didn't have any of those either. Canned beans are not recommended because they can get too soft and mushy, but they can work if you delay adding them for a bit. Mrs. Twisted said she wanted to eat by 5:30 because she needed to be up early to travel to a town out west to audit their books, they are only giving her one day and she wanted to be there for as soon as they opened. The town clerk/manager didn't want her on-site at all. She claims to be a CPA but seems not to understand a number of basic accounting functions so there might be something funky with the books. Also, there seems to be a certain amount of nepotism and 'same name' companies providing services to the town- my detective brain smells a nest of rats with no-bid contracts feasting on taxpayer money and Ms. CPA trying to cover it up. Anywho...6:30PM and no Mrs. Twisted. At 7:30 I went up to her office and asked her WTF? Everything is 'holding', waiting for her. So we're not eating until 8. She complains that the chicken is a bit 'leathery'. Not my fault lady, it was ready when you said you wanted it. "I lost track of the time." No excuse, you were very specific and emphatic about when it needed to be ready, this is on *you*. The temp hit 81* yesterday, we were still sub-zero the first week of March. I went down to the creek to get some flat stones I want for repaving the front walkway, and for using as a base for supports under the house which is slowly sinking in the middle because the numbskull who built this place didn't account for the weight of all the brick and stonework, and what supports he *did* put in were just resting on clay and didn't have proper bases. Now I need to jack everything up and do it right. The dog got a lesson about walking on soft ice. I got a fair bit of exercise hauling stone by hand 600 yards through the woods, got them as far as the bee yard and dropped them, enough snow melted for me to get the tractor and trailer that far. Dog thought it was fun bounding through the barbed wire fence, one of these days she's going to get a lesson about how electric fences work too.",

"Pork chops were great. The crawfish or mud bugs taste better than shrimp. Cut open the pork chop, there was a creamy sauce with small mud bugs. Local grocery store had T-bones on sale for $8.99/lb and porterhouse for $9.99/lb. Note, 2 per household. Bought two porterhouse, both weighed over 1.3 lbs. Putting Buttery Steakhouse seasoning and will put them in a food sealer. Plan to cut them this weekend. I also bought some bone in pork chops. Seasoned and in a food saver. Notice that the price of pork chops were $3.57/lb. Did not check baby back ribs (probably still expense). Might be eating more pork than beef. This weekend, high temperatures will be in the mid 70’s. After working in the yard, nothing is better than firing up the weber grill and throw on some hamburgers or steaks.",

> ARK wrote: ↑Thu Mar 12, 2026 6:00 pm > Pork chops were great. The crawfish or mud bugs taste better than shrimp. Cut open the pork chop, there was a creamy sauce with small mud bugs. > Local grocery store had T-bones on sale for $8.99/lb and porterhouse for $9.99/lb. Note, 2 per household. Bought two porterhouse, both weighed over 1.3 lbs. Putting Buttery Steakhouse seasoning and will put them in a food sealer. Plan to cut them this weekend. > I also bought some bone in pork chops. Seasoned and in a food saver. Notice that the price of pork chops were $3.57/lb. Did not check baby back ribs (probably still expense). Might be eating more pork than beef. > This weekend, high temperatures will be in the mid 70’s. After working in the yard, nothing is better than firing up the weber grill and throw on some hamburgers or steaks. Believe it or not beef prices were down in recent weeks, at the sale barns. I’m sure they will recover quickly. In my personal analysis, fuel goes up, prices drop to the producer and increase for the consumer. Producer holds back on selling. Then prices rebound for the producer and increase again for the consumer. The middleman always gouging both ends. I raise an insignificant amount of beef. I use to slaughter and process for myself. It’s too expensive for me to keep my own anymore. I sell everything and buy chicken and pork. Occasionally we buy ground beef for a grill treat, I can’t remember the last beef steak I have eaten. Sounds like you survived the storms. Good for you.

> Might be eating more pork than beef. That's how it is here- pork and chicken. $1.67/lb for pork loin, $.99/lb for chicken drumsticks and $1.99/lb for breasts and thighs (boneless/skinless). We have a pretty good supply of burgers from OS if/when a beef craving hits. I was going to try my hand at chicken kiev last night, until I discovered that the pellet stove smoke pipe had got disconnected and the mount for the outside stack was almost completely ripped off the wall. I had got my outside chores done early enough that I thought I had time to give it a go, but the unscheduled repair took too much time. I would have just said 'screw it' and not bothered, but the temp was supposed to drop way down and Mrs. Twisted gets bitchy if the house gets too cold. While I was trying to get the outside part re-connected, everything inside got disconnected. So, while it was apart I decided to run a brush through and clean it. By the time I had got everything back together and got the stove fired up, it was too late to be starting something I haven't tried to do before. We ended up having leftover spaghetti, somehow I always make too much. Mrs, Twisted doesn't mind because she loves it, but she really shouldn't have too much because of the carbs. I'm concerned that she's going to turn diabetic if she doesn't start making healthier choices, I'm doing what I can on my end but sometimes if feels like shoveling shit against the tide.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Fri Mar 13, 2026 7:40 am > ...The middleman always gouging both ends... The speculators on the commodities exchanges certainly aren't helping either. A fellow I worked with years ago tried to get me into that. When I started researching it, I was amazed that just anybody could trade the markets, even if they never intended to take delivery and closed out the contracts before they came due. > I raise an insignificant amount of beef. I use to slaughter and process for myself. It’s too expensive for me to keep my own anymore. I sell everything and buy chicken and pork. Occasionally we buy ground beef for a grill treat, I can’t remember the last beef steak I have eaten. If I could get ahold of the hundred acres next door, I'd have enough room to run a few head. But at this stage of the game it really doesn't make any sense from a financial standpoint. For what it would cost me for the land, I could eat steak every day 'til I die. Now, if I could get some gov money instead of using my own, and not care what happens when I croak...

> . The speculators on the commodities exchanges certainly aren't helping either. Well, I was trying to avoid that topic as it can be quite a sore spot, especially with large scale producers like a neighbor of mine. Their family operation is nearly a hundred years old. These people must work around the clock. I don’t know anyone who is willing to put in the labor intensive hours that they do. I have worked for them in the past, have always been treated and payed well. They are always grateful for any help they get and willing to pay appropriately or better. Still they can’t find enough help. Don’t mention commodity speculators to them unless you’re willing to get an education on it. > If I could get ahold of the hundred acres next door, I'd have enough room to run a few head. But at this stage of the game it really doesn't make any sense from a financial standpoint. For what it would cost me for the land, I could eat steak every day 'til I die. Now, if I could get some gov money instead of using my own, and not care what happens when I croak... My father-in-law always said, ‘I had to have a good job in town to support my farming habit.’ Last week I asked Mrs. G if we could loan the farm a grand until I sell the first calves in two months. She replied, ‘Yes dear, I always budget for a farm loan about this time of year. I can support your hobby.” I’m trying to help a 30 something couple get started in the business. They have the right drive and desire that it takes to make it happen. I started buying my hay from them and have been impressed with their product and future plans. He asked if he could buy my heifers this year. I replied, “I’ll give you first right of refusal, after all it would save me sales commissions. But know this, a 6 month weaned heifer could go as high as $2k, it’s another 12 months before she can be bred, then another 9 months before a calf, then another 6 months before you can sell said calf. If all goes well. Basically 2.5 years until you see a return and that only covers your initial investment. This doesn’t consider maintenance costs.” I followed with, “try to find a 10 year old bred cow that an old farmer is wanting to replace. It will cost as much as $3k, but she will calve in about 6 months or so and be pretty reliable with no first calf risks. Have her artificially bred back and you have no bull expenses. Get two or three calves in about the same amount of time and she will still sell for what you pay for her.” It’s a crazy risky business. Yes, I ramble too much about this stuff but without a strong agricultural backbone our country is in trouble, it’s where we come from. FWIW, A bull can be depreciated on taxes like a piece of equipment. If you’re a kh and have endured this post you will understand when I say that sperm production is expensive. He just lays around, eats more than anything else and when given the opportunity fucks until exhausted and starts all over again with laying around. Maybe that will amuse someone out there.

"I did the chicken kiev last night, smoked of course. It didn't turn out the way I expected but it wasn't bad. I'm glad I didn't use as much garlic as it called for, I learned my lesson from the burgers a little while back. Maybe I just have super-garlic? Could be, it's one of the purple hard-neck types. Of course, I had to mess with the recipe a bit instead of following it exactly. I was going off something written by a fellow in Russia in the 1800s. I added my own idea that didn't turn out quite right.

"Sunday night was ribs. Found out I inadvertently grabbed baby backs. Did them at a little higher temp (@300) and got them done quicker, they were OK.

"Told Mrs. Ark that I would cook her ribs this week. I am a low and slow guy. Tonight the plan is to cook salmon. I have never had it. I am not much of a fish person. I will eat fried catfish. Everything, I will pass.

> ARK wrote: ↑Tue Mar 24, 2026 12:34 pm > Told Mrs. Ark that I would cook her ribs this week. > I am a low and slow guy. > Tonight the plan is to cook salmon. I have never had it. I am not much of a fish person. I will eat fried catfish. Everything, I will pass. Do keep us updated. I am wanting to try smoking salmon also. I have learned to appreciate salmon. It can’t get cold or it’s no good. Mrs. G. Always times it so that I am holding my plate for her to serve it. Indulge while it is hot.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Wed Mar 25, 2026 8:29 am > > ARK wrote: ↑Tue Mar 24, 2026 12:34 pm > > Told Mrs. Ark that I would cook her ribs this week. > > I am a low and slow guy. > > Tonight the plan is to cook salmon. I have never had it. I am not much of a fish person. I will eat fried catfish. Everything, I will pass. > Do keep us updated. I am wanting to try smoking salmon also. I have learned to appreciate salmon. It can’t get cold or it’s no good. Mrs. G. Always times it so that I am holding my plate for her to serve it. Indulge while it is hot. Mrs. Twisted doesn't like it 'hot', either grilled or fried. She only likes it like lox- thinly sliced, cured and cold smoked. One of these days I'll try to do it for her.

> . cured and cold smoked. Showing my smoking ignorance here. What is cold smoking?

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Thu Mar 26, 2026 1:07 pm > > . cured and cold smoked. > Showing my smoking ignorance here. What is cold smoking? It's done at a very low temp, sometimes like under 100 degrees. In some cases, like for butter, soft cheeses, and mayo you need to have a container filled with ice underneath whatever it is that you are smoking so that it doesn't melt and run all over the place. You can smoke just about anything with the right methods, and it doesn't have to involve actually 'cooking' what you are smoking. You can do cold, warm and hot smoking, and what some 'purists' consider to be 'barbecue'. It all depends on your product and the intended end results. Jerky, for instance, you want to do 'warm'- the intention is not to 'cook' it per se, but to dry it out so that the lack of moisture inhibits/prevents the growth of bacteria and mold (along with the salt and acid in your brine/marinating mixture).

"hey guys, the posts have been some really interesting reads. i'm going through and am looking for some rub recipes. you all are making me hungry and eager to try my hand at "smoking". i'm not great at BBQ but "smoking" reads like something that i could do and with some time and practice maybe i can do alright. i'm gonna start checking out smokers. nothing big and ambitious for me, i'll be just a beginner so any suggestions for a beginner? one of the rubs i use is a Spanish Rub that's really versatile and tasty. it's used for beef, chicken and pork. 2 tbsp smoked spanish paprika 1 tbsp garlic powder--**NOT** garlic salt 2 tbsp cumin powder 2 tsp dried oregano, if you can find spanish oregano good but know that if you use mexican oregano it'll change the flavor a bit but it isn't terrible 1 tsp salt, i like sea salt cause it's healthy and flavored better cayenne, the amount is according to personal preference, this is a easy general chili powder that blends well with the other spices really blend this well. i use olive or canola oil and then i let the rub sit on the meat for a good bit of time, let them rest together. this is a generally used rub so very common and in all the books. a good rub for roasting veggies and i know i said i'm not great at grilling but it does do well with grilled meats. the rub i like for "Pinchos Morunos" or meat skewers is as follows: the Spanish Paprika is 50/50, smoked and regular--depending on mood i'll us more of 1 or the other a couple of my tias (aunts) uses actual cumin seeds. you'll find this in recipes because the intent is to flavor your way through the texture of the cumin seed. i prefer "powder" 2 tsp coriander powder 1 tbsp dried oregano (same info about oregano as above) 1 tbsp garlic powder 1/2 tsp black pepper, i've only ever use regular black pepper 1 tsp salt according to your taste optional, 1/2 cayenne pepper beef: you'll get a smokey crust pork & chicken: once yu've done the oil and spices. let it rest for at least an hour veggies: toss around so they all get coarted just before you set them to cook this rub can be kept for 5-6 months but make sure to really break up the clumps cuz it gets kinda weird if it's left clumpy towards the end of those months. don't know why but it just happens. the same info about oils. hope someone enjoys these rubs. i've got to get my mexican rub notebook out later and add a couple more.

"Thanks for the recipes. I’ll pass them on to Mrs. G, she does all of the prep work for our smoking and grilling. I know tht I can’t have the cayenne pepper, but she’s pretty creative with substituting. In fact I don’t think she ever follows a recipe to the exact detail. She’s one of these cooks who dreams up new concoctions all the time. It’s the strangest thing when I find her reading a recipe book for pleasure.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Fri Mar 27, 2026 5:16 am > ...she’s pretty creative with substituting. In fact I don’t think she ever follows a recipe to the exact detail. > She’s one of these cooks who dreams up new concoctions all the time. It’s the strangest thing when I find her reading a recipe book for pleasure. I own quite a few books across various genres, plus two regular magazines from the producers of several PBS programs. I mostly treat them as inspiration rather than strict instructions; while I do follow recipes sometimes, it's not always my habit. Often I just read and let ideas simmer in my mind until they surface later on. Some of my volumes are vintage, dating back to between the '50s and '70s. The oldest one belongs to a great aunt born in the 1800s, and it's entirely handwritten. The ink has faded somewhat, and the pages are quite brittle. I spent many childhood summers at her house, which was heated by a wood-burning cookstove and lacked indoor plumbing until around 1970 (she passed away shortly after that installation). Some of my best memories come from there: waking up on winter mornings with sunlight filtering through ice-glazed windows; lying in the featherbed waiting for the scent of smoke to signal someone else was awake tending the fire; making toast on the round trivet placed where a plate had been removed from the stove's hot side; evening dinners accompanied by the lighthouse beam sweeping across the bay; and hunting for the outhouse in such thick fog that you could barely see your hand at arm's length. Step out the side door, turn slightly right, count eleven steps to hit the well pump handle, then pivot ninety degrees right and walk thirty-nine more steps toward the toilet—go slowly! If you rush, you might actually collide with it face-first; if you overcount, you'll miss it and have to navigate back or risk a cold swim in the bay. I use a sharp knife blade to separate the pages and a wide putty knife to turn them carefully so they don't tear. I'm slowly transcribing these recipes, hoping one day to publish a cookbook. I haven't identified my absolute favorites yet; likely candidates include her baked beans and pickled crab-apples, staples of our Saturday night suppers.

> Mary5 wrote: ↑Fri Mar 27, 2026 12:16 am > hey guys, the posts have been some really interesting reads. i'm going through and am looking for some rub recipes. you all are making me hungry and eager to try my hand at "smoking". i'm not great at BBQ but "smoking" reads like something that i could do and with some time and practice maybe i can do alright. i'm gonna start checking out smokers. nothing big and ambitious for me, i'll be just a beginner so any suggestions for a beginner? While I enjoy experimenting with commercial rubs, I also have several handwritten recipes of my own which I occasionally prepare; I’ll see about sharing those here. As for smokers, there are various types available: 'bullet' and 'barrel' models, kamado styles, and Texas-style offset units. My first smoker was a very affordable Brinkmann (I believe Ark still uses one). If you already own something like a Weber kettle grill ( ), you can achieve smoking by building your fire to one side and placing the meat on the cooler side, with the air vent positioned over the food, using wood chips or chunks. You can even use a gas grill for this purpose: light only one burner, place a foil packet of wood chips directly over the flame, and put your food on the unlit side. The key is having a lid to retain heat and smoke, ensuring it flows around rather than blasting directly down onto the food (unless you have a bullet/barrel type with a water pan). Essentially, smoking involves slower cooking at lower temperatures while retaining some of that smoky flavor. There are many methods for 'smoking', leading to plenty of debate over which is superior. Ultimately, the best method depends on what works well *for you*, considering your available space, personal style, patience level, and desired taste profile. Personally, I prefer strong smoke flavors, whereas Mrs. Twisted isn't as keen on it, so I adjust my approach depending on who is eating. Here’s what I started with (and what I think Ark still uses): ... -Grill.png It was inexpensive (under $50 back then, if memory serves) and functional...though not the top tier. It requires some effort to get good results. The main drawbacks are its open bottom design and thin metal construction, which doesn't retain heat exceptionally well. If you have limited space but like this style and can spend a bit more money, consider something like: ... 14.5-2.png The prices are higher due to different sizes, but the build quality and control are better. There is truth in the old saying 'you get what you pay for'; investing a little more in a Weber over that cheap Brinkmann yields longer-lasting durability and less frustration. DO NOT buy a Chargriller like this one: ... 1676461238 It's practically junk. I know because I own one. Despite the 'Professional' label, it is anything but professional. The metal is very thin, riddled with gaps, poor at holding heat, difficult to control, and prone to warping, rusting, and burning out quickly. In my first season of use alone, the gas side warped so much that the center grate collapsed inward and became unusable, despite only running one burner on low. Key factors are (A) your budget and (B) how much space you have available. I prefer offset smokers but have ample room. The Chargriller cost me just under $400; it's a piece of work (*POS*) but taught me what to look for when buying a *real* smoker—at least 1/4" steel thickness and proper airflow control—which will likely set you back between two and three thousand bucks. If your budget is around $400 and space is tight, go with the Weber Smokey Mountain. Oklahoma Joe used to make excellent quality offset smokers at reasonable prices (under $1k), but after being acquired by a larger corporation that cut corners on materials and production, I no longer recommend them. Feel free to ask if you have more questions! ETA: Another important consideration is household size. If you only ever cook for two people, a large unit isn't necessary. For feeding crowds, however, you'll need more capacity.

> . My oldest book comes from one of my great aunts, who was born in the 1800s. It is entirely hand written. My wife learned to cook on an old wood-burning stove. I believe that gave her such exceptional kitchen skills right from the start. She also keeps boxes of recipe cards handwritten by her mother and another box belonging to my grandmother. The handwriting is beautiful, and the cards show stains from years past. When grandma passed away and our relatives were clearing out the house, those fools almost threw her entire recipe box into the trash. Mrs. G went absolutely crazy trying to save it—just one more reason I admire her. Another reason: shortly before we married, she spent several days with grandma learning how to prepare my favorite dishes. *@Mary5* I own a kamado-style grill that also functions as a smoker. I had to buy a heat deflector for about $30. You can use a pizza stone for the same purpose too. I am a huge fan of kamados. They allow me to grill, bake brick-oven style pizzas, or smoke food. The insulated walls significantly reduce charcoal and wood consumption while maintaining steady temperatures easily. Do your research before purchasing; I got mine on sale. Total cost for the grill and heat deflector was about $350. Father’s Day is approaching, which might be a good time to catch another deal. Good luck.

> ARK wrote: ↑Tue Mar 24, 2026 12:34 pm > Told Mrs. Ark that I would cook her ribs this week. > I am not much of a fish person. I will eat fried catfish. Everything else, I pass on. Nothing beats turbot served atop a generous bed of fennel greens, liberally sprinkled with sea salt (appropriate since it's seafood) and your preferred pepper. Add some lemon slices, and voila—enjoy.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Wed Mar 25, 2026 8:29 am > I am wanting to try smoking salmon also. I have learned to appreciate salmon. It can’t get cold or it’s no good. Mrs. G. Always times it so that I am holding my plate for her to serve it. Indulge while it is hot. Not really the American style of smoking, but Finns have an interesting tradition (and perhaps finlandlocked can add more): Flamed salmon Basically you use a small iron wood-fired stove. The interior door has a steel mesh panel to hold the fish. Light the fire, fill the mesh, close the door. Special rant: like everything else, the food industry distorts "smoking". Most pre-packaged supermarket fish probably hasn't seen the inside of a smoking chamber. @T&G: don‘t forget—before smoking fish it must soak in salt for at least 24 hours.

> . @T&G: don‘t forget:before smoking fish it has to in > Salt for at least 24 hours. Thanks. I expect plenty of research ahead of me.

My smoking and grilling activities are currently paused due to dry conditions this spring resulting in a county-wide burn ban. No open burning means no smoking or outdoor grilling either. I have been known to rebel against the rules, but right now it's too arid to risk it. If something goes wrong while I grill despite the ban, our homeowner’s insurance would likely deny any claims. Rain is forecast starting Thursday; hopefully this will lift restrictions enough for me to use my smoker by Sunday. My current cooking method involves a cast iron pan with raised ridges. Heat the pan well, add the meat, cook each side for about a minute, then transfer it to the oven for 5–10 minutes. It’s restaurant-style preparation. I miss that distinct charcoal-grilled flavor.

> ARK wrote: ↑Mon Mar 30, 2026 12:53 pm > My smoking and grilling has been put on hold. It has been dry this spring, so the county is under a burn ban. No open burning which also means no smoking or grilling. I have been known to be an outlaw and grill. Right now it is too dry to even try. If I did grill and something went wrong, I bet the homeowners insurance would deny my claim. Suppose to get some rain starting Thursday. I hope I can use my smoker by Sunday. > Current cooking method is using a cast iron pan with raised ribs. Get the pan hot, throw on my meat and cook each side for a minute and then sit in the oven for 5 to 10 minutes. Restaurant style of cooking. Missing the smokyness of the charcoal grill. The air here is dry too. I’m not certain if we have an official burn ban yet, but I still won’t light anything up just in case. We had two wildfires nearby yesterday alone. Some people simply don't understand.

ARRGGGHHHH! I completely relate! I lived in Washington State (the Evergreen State) for several years, and the dryness gauges issued by the Forest Department along with daily reports became part of everyday life. Yet tourists remained oblivious, lighting up fires carelessly and causing problems when those sparks spread. I was planning to pull our grill out of the garage to inspect its condition for the upcoming year since Spring is arriving early here, BUT the forecast predicts strong winds, rain, and thunderstorms through Saturday. We’ll see... It’s been a lazy morning so we’re having late breakfast: Mexican-style eggs with papas (fried potatoes) & bacon. I add a bit of hot sauce; my girlfriend adds just a few drops of Louisiana Hot Sauce—that's about it for her. Tomorrow, when she returns to work, I’ll make my own version using Serrano peppers left over from last night’s dinner. Wishing everyone safe and good days ahead--

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Tue Mar 31, 2026 5:48 am > > ARK wrote: ↑Mon Mar 30, 2026 12:53 pm > > My smoking and grilling has been put on hold. It has been dry this spring, so the county is under a burn ban. No open burning which also means no smoking or grilling. I have been known to be an outlaw and grill. Right now it is too dry to even try. If I did grill and something went wrong, I bet the homeowners insurance would deny my claim. Suppose to get some rain starting Thursday. I hope I can use my smoker by Sunday. > > Current cooking method is using a cast iron pan with raised ribs. Get the pan hot, throw on my meat and cook each side for a minute and then sit in the oven for 5 to 10 minutes. Restaurant style of cooking. Missing the smokyness of the charcoal grill. Dry up here also. I’m not sure if we have a burn ban or not, but I still wont light anything. There were two wildfires in our area yesterday. Some people just don’t get it. Sleet and freezing rain here. Was sunny yesterday, about 50, bees were flying and looking for food. There isn't any yet, but popples will be producing pollen any time now, their buds have popped and they're showing gray. The maples are showing tinges of red, so they aren't far behind. We have a 'burn ban' from time to time, but when we do it expressly does *not* include "...any fire used for cooking...". As long as the fire is contained, and you have a cooking grate for it, it's OK. That said, fires are definitely a concern for me too. Unlike the cities and suburbs, there are no 'fire hydrants' out here in the country, and the FDs around here are mostly all volunteer (they have a great track record for saving basements). There was a fire across the road from me a few years ago. Fortunately [for me] it was ESE of my location and the prevailing wind usually blows from the West. They used a pair of choppers ferrying water from a lake a few miles away to finally get it under control. I am very careful with my fires here, including my bee smoker and even cigarettes. I was checking the bees one day and sat the smoker on a wooden pallet, the wind was blowing just right into the air intake and it got way too hot, burned a hole right through the pallet. Now I make sure to set it on a rock or concrete block, and make damn sure I don't accidentally knock it over. The Army taught me to make sure my cigarettes are completely out, and to shred them instead of just flicking the butts away, I do that here too. My previous house caught fire when an ember blew out the stovepipe and landed on the barnboard siding. I managed to put it out before the FD arrived, filling a bucket in the bathtub and climbing a ladder to dump it on. Stupid FD dragged hoses *into* the house (when the fire was outside), bashed my stove apart and tore open my walls and ceiling. The FD did more damage than the fire did. After the trucks and men left, I found a girl wandering around (upstairs) with a big boxy gizmo. "What are you doing?" She told me it was an infra-red camera and she was looking for fire in the walls. "What the fuck. Couldn't you have thought to do that *before* y'all tore my livingroom apart?" She got mad and left. A couple of hours later I was kicking through the wreckage of the stove pipes outside, to see if there was anything in good enough shape to salvage. The 'building inspector' comes walking into the yard. "You gonna put that back up?" "Of course." "Make sure you get a permit." "Fuck you." "What?" "I didn't have a 'permit' to put it up in the first place, I'm not going to ask for 'permission' to put it *back* up." "You *have* to." "No, I don't, now get the fuck off my property. And if you come back here looking around, without a warrant signed by a judge, I will arrest you pursuant to Title 18 USC, Section 242, 'Conspiracy Against Rights Under Color of Law' for violating my rights under the 4th Amendment. I will cuff you, and I will hold you until a US Marshal can come to collect you. He stared at me for about half a minute, his mouth moving but no words coming out, then left in a huff. Little prick was accustomed to giving other people reams of shit, didn't know how to handle it when it hit the fan and came flying back. Never saw him again. I have a low tolerance for bureaucratic bullshit. ETA: Oh, and to add insult to injury, my insurance company called me the next day, and told me that my policy was cancelled. Huh? I hadn't called them, and had no intention of doing so because I estimated that the amount of damage done by the FD was going to be less than my deductible. We had a bit of a heated conversation about that, and they finally agreed to reinstate the policy. But...how did they even know? It took me a few years to figure it out. There is a web site that logs every single fire call in the country, and publishes them. The insurance companies routinely monitor that site.

Pulled some filets from the freezer and let them thaw out. Cooked them on the cast iron skillet. Mrs. Ark said that the filets tasted different. They tasted ok to me. Mrs. Ark got something else to eat. This is the second time I pulled steaks from the freezer and cooked them on the cast iron skillet. Turned out ok both times. First time I we thought the steaks were in the freezer too long. This time we think it was the cooking method. I have grilled steaks that had been in the freezer for 6 months and they tasted great.

> ARK wrote: ↑Tue Mar 31, 2026 10:55 am > Pulled some filets from the freezer and let them thaw out. Cooked them on the cast iron skillet. Mrs. Ark said that the filets tasted different. They tasted ok to me. Mrs. Ark got something else to eat. This is the second time I pulled steaks from the freezer and cooked them on the cast iron skillet. Turned out ok both times. First time I we thought the steaks were in the freezer too long. This time we think it was the cooking method. I have grilled steaks that had been in the freezer for 6 months and they tasted great. As long as they were truly frozen and never thawed they are just fine at 6 months. We use to annually process our own beef and pork. there was always some left over and would be in the freezer a little more than a year, we ate it all and never had any problems.

> . I have a low tolerance for bureaucratic bullshit. We built a house in 97. The assessor showed up one day. We were living in the basement while we built. The assessor said I needed a permit to build. I replied yes I do but I have a whole year after construction begins to get that permit and it’s only been six months. Then she said that if I finish the basement floor with anything on the concrete that it would be taxed as living space. I said well I guess I’ll be living in non-living space. Next I told her that I didn’t even have to claim it on taxes until I moved in upstairs or on the first of the year. She didn’t argue my point. Then I told her to quit driving around wasting tax dollars and finally to piss off until she had a reason to come back. I never saw her again. I don’t know what’s worse, lifetime bureaucrats in Washington or locally elected small town bureaucrats. Several years ago I’m at my local court house to get my new voter ID card. Now they use driver’s license. Anyway the dingbat asked for my address, I told her and she said I was in X district. I replied no I am in Y district. She proceeded to stare at the map and argue with me. Finally I stabbed my finger on the map and said, “ here is where I live. I’m looking at this map upside down and can read it better than you.” When I finally got my card I said, “I see why you’re in an elected position, your too stupid to hold a real job.” BTW I mean no offense to elected individuals, I know a good one or two. This lady was a real dingbat of dingbats.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Tue Mar 31, 2026 1:04 pm > > . I have a low tolerance for bureaucratic bullshit. > We built a house in '97. The assessor showed up one day while we were living in the basement during construction. She said I needed a permit to build. I replied yes, but I have an entire year after construction starts to get that permit, and it’s only been six months. Then she mentioned that if I finish the basement floor with anything on top of the concrete, it would count as taxable living space. So I figured I’d just be residing in non-living space. > Next I told her that I didn’t even have to claim it for taxes until I moved upstairs or by January 1st. She didn't argue my point. Then I told her to stop driving around wasting tax dollars and finally go away until she had a good reason to return. And I never saw her again. > I don’t know what’s worse: lifetime bureaucrats in Washington or locally elected small-town ones. A few years ago, I was at the local courthouse getting my new voter ID card (they use driver’s licenses now). The woman asked for my address; I gave it to her and she said I lived in District X. I replied no, I’m in District Y. She proceeded to stare at the map and argue with me. Finally, I stabbed my finger on the map and said, “Here is where I live.” I was looking at this map upside down yet could read it better than her. > When I finally got my card, I said, “I see why you’re in an elected position; you're too stupid to hold a real job.” BTW, no offense meant to elected individuals; I know one or two good ones. This lady was truly the worst of the bunch. Indeed! I am enjoying your posts! Thanks!

Rubs: 'Magic Spice' (don't know where I got this one, and it's not my name): - 1 Old Bay - 1 Zaterain's Creole or Slap Yo Mama - 1/2 Garlic Powder Use any measures you want, just keep that ratio of 1:1:1/2. __________________________________________________ Nick Stellino's Rub (I dunno who Nick Stellino is, probably some Greek guy): Equal parts: - Salt - Pepper - Onion Powder - Garlic Powder - Paprika My note says 'Turkey and other stuff'. I might cut back on the salt a bit because I have to watch my blood pressure, and I've never been in the habit of using a lot of salt anyway. ___________________________________________________ I do a lot with various ratios of dark brown sugar, onion and garlic powder, salt, pepper, paprika, red pepper flakes, ground chipotle peppers, chili powder... basically whatever happens to catch my eye at the moment. I often don't mix stuff up in advance; just sprinkle it on as I go—little of this, little of that, etc. Some times I use mustard or olive oil first as a binder, sometimes I don't. For a commercial one, Bad Byron's Butt Rub is pretty good—it has salt, pepper, chipotle, and granulated garlic and onion. I might have to try using the granulated version; I get big containers of garlic and onion powder that get clumped up, so I have to chip them loose and use a mortar and pestle to pulverize them again. I don't use 'black' pepper. Instead, I have a special mix of multi-color peppercorns with allspice berries mixed in. I use an ancient Greek coffee grinder to grind them as needed.

What food do you use Magic Spice with? Old Bay is used to boil seafood. I never thought of it as a spice to apply directly on food.

> ARK wrote: ↑Mon Apr 06, 2026 12:15 am > What food do you use Magic Spice? Old Bay is used to boil seafood. Never thought of it as a spice to apply on food. I use it mostly on chicken, sometimes pork chops or other things...but never on seafood because I don't like seafood. I've been using Old Bay on chicken and in mac salad for a long time; the can even says 'poultry'. I use the 'blackened' version once in a while too. It's not 'just' for seafood. (I also use Miracle Whip for my mac salad; regular mayo is lame. Yeah, even Dave's brand—I saw a lot of fuss about it online and got some to try, but wasn't impressed.)

Reverse seared a pair of pork steaks yesterday. We split one; the second will be split tonight on a romaine lettuce salad. I discovered reverse searing by accident. Anymore it’s the only way I go with pork steaks. Sure makes them juicy.

Was the pork steak cut from the Boston butt or from the tenderloin? If you split it, I am assuming it was from the pork loin. Did you grill the pork steaks or cook them in the oven and then reverse sear on a cast iron skillet? This weekend I was able to grill. It was raining most of the day on Saturday so it reduced the threat of catching anything on fire. Grilled fillet mignon. Steaks were about 1” thick. Cook two minutes on both sides over the hot coals, then place offset from each other, turning them every 5 minutes until the center reached a temperature between 140 to 145 degrees. Perfect medium. Mrs Ark has been wanting some country style pork ribs. I am in the mood for baby back ribs. Need to research a good rub. Any suggestions?

Pork steaks from the shoulder. You can identify the fan bone in them. Those from the loin are considered chops. I did them totally on the grill. Cooked over a mild fire then let things flame up to sear after they were cooked through. As for rubs, I leave that to Mrs. G. I can ask her what she did with our Valentine's baby backs. They were magnificent. She makes her own rubs.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Sat Apr 04, 2026 8:54 am > Rubs: > I don't use 'black' pepper, I have a special mix of multi-color peppercorns with allspice berries mixed in. I use an ancient Greek coffee grinder to grind them as needed. "Multi-color peppercorns" this is interesting! i've never heard of that before. Do you have a brand name that you buy or is this something that you just mix yourself? Also, thanks for listing the rub recipes. i'll be trying them this year. still waiting for our rains to stop. they're pretty heavy for the start of spring but i'm sure that farmer brown will be happy.

> Mary5 wrote: ↑Tue Apr 07, 2026 1:37 am > > TwistedMister wrote: ↑Sat Apr 04, 2026 8:54 am > > Rubs: > > I don't use 'black' pepper, I have a special mix of multi-color peppercorns with allspice berries mixed in. I use an ancient Greek coffee grinder to grind them as needed. > "Multi-color peppercorns" this is interesting! i've never heard of that before. Do you have a brand name that you buy or is this something that you just mix yourself? > Also, thanks for listing the rub recipes. i'll be trying them this year. still waiting for our rains to stop. they're pretty heavy for the start of spring but i'm sure that farmer brown will be happy. It's called 'Kings Blend' from The Spice Lab ( ). It has white, black and green peppercorns, and pink pepper berries. I just went down to the kitchen to look at one of the packages. Apparently, I was mistaken about the allspice berries; that must have been a different blend I was using. Mrs. Twisted does most of the food ordering, so I suspect that the other blend was unavailable and she asked me about this as a substitute, and I forgot but allspice was still stuck in my head. Anyway, it's a good blend, much more interesting flavor than plain black pepper you get in the grocery store. If you aren't already in the habit of grinding your own peppercorns/spices you'll need a spice grinder, or an adjustable burr coffee grinder to get them to your liking. I don't want them completely powdered, but not big chunks like brisket pepper either. I have a hand-cranked brass coffee grinder that works perfectly for this, but I think it's something hard to come by here. Now I'm glad you asked; I just went searching and found a number of brands of blends with allspice available. Just use the search terms 'peppercorn', 'allspice' and 'blend' and you'll find them.

I cooked country-style ribs in my reliable Brinkman smokers, seasoning them simply with salt and pepper. No elaborate rub or marinade here. I decided to cut back on the coal and use more hickory chunks instead. The meat turned out quite dark, so I had to remove it from the smoker, wrap it in foil, and finish cooking it in the oven. Mrs. Ark thought they were good, though there was a slight metallic aftertaste next time around. The key with country-style ribs is low heat and slow cooking. You can prepare them on the grill, in the smoker, or even in the oven. When you're ready to eat, these have more meat attached to the bone compared to baby back ribs, making them easier to enjoy. I'm planning to grill some sirloin tender steaks tomorrow.

> . a hint of metallic taste What caused the metallic flavor? I personally don't care for hickory; to me it's too strong. But you've got me thinking now—I have some free time this weekend and there's a pork butt in my freezer.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Tue Apr 14, 2026 6:21 am > > . a hint of metallic taste > Why did I get that metal flavor? Personally, hickory isn't my favorite; to me it’s too pungent. But you’ve got me thinking—now I have some free time this weekend and there's a pork butt in the freezer. I think hickory (and mesquite) pairs better with beef. For pork and chicken, I prefer something lighter, like maple or apple. I haven't used cherry wood yet, so I don’t really know what to make of it either way.

Okay, I’ve just been sitting here for a bit, just:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: . I know you mean that you have a pork butt in your freezer but it, well, it does funny to hear a guy say he has "butt" in his freezer!:lol::lol: I know that's not what you meant. We use Pork butt and Pork Shoulder for Tamales. We season the meat and the masa of course....but I've never told anyone that I am the owner of a frozen butt.:lol::lol: Sorry, i can't help it. I'm taking a break from making a hamburger casserole to take to one of the nieces' house tonight, been doing household chores and will be leaving shortly to get some chores done around town and such and then I saw your post....:lol: Have a great week, a great meal and....be careful, in the Army, we learned that a "frozen butt" too many times and get you a case of "piles"!:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:: Sorry, I couldn't resist...:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: I won't ever stop thinking of tamales without thinking that there's a guy in the world who has his "frozen butt" in his freezer...:lol::lol::lol:: paz,:lol::lol::

> Mary5 wrote: ↑Tue Apr 14, 2026 2:28 pm > Have a great week, a great meal and....be careful, in the Army, we learned that a "frozen butt" too many times and get you a case of "piles"!:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:: > Sorry, I couldn't resist...:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: > I won't ever stop thinking of tamales without thinking that there's a guy in the world who has his "frozen butt" in his freezer...:lol::lol::lol:: In my basic training platoon we had three brothers from Puerto Rico, who signed up for duty in Alaska because they wanted to 'see snow'. Poor bastards, I don't think they knew what they were in for, 'frozen butt' indeed. I thought my Spanish was pretty good but these guys talked so fast I could only get about one word in ten. I could do OK talking to someone from Spain or Mexico but I had to keep telling them to talk slow to me like I was stupid. I often wonder what happened to them, I never saw them again after Basic, I was fleeing the Great White North and headed for warmer weather.

Mrs Ark wanted some pork steaks like she had at Yard House restaurant. We googled the recipe and I checked out the Yard House menu. The pork steak looked liked a thick pork chop. Went to Walmart and and she picked out a thick cut pork chop. I showed her a pork steak and she said that was not it. Bought the pork chops. Reviewed the Yard House recipe, called for marinading in pineapple juice for a few hours. Seasoned the chops per recipe and put them on the grill. I reversed seared them. Pulled off the grill at 155F. cooked threw and juicy. Mrs Ark said they were good but not Yard House good. Yard House is better than Chef Ark. What? Next time marinade in apple juice over night, salt, pepper, Magic Spice, smoke over apple wood. Looking for a good glaze to put over the top Today I was hauling off my leaves on my trailer being pulled by a four wheeler. I smelled hamburgers being cooked on the grill. I need a good grilled hamburger. 1/3 lb patty, fresh buns and all the fixings.

> . Today I was hauling off my leaves on my trailer being pulled by a four wheeler. I smelled hamburgers being cooked on the grill. I need a good grilled hamburger. 1/3 lb patty, fresh buns and all the fixings. That does sound appetizing. As much as I like my food cooked over an open fire I think I would rather have my burgers from an iron skillet. Especially one that fries the bacon for the burger just prior to frying the burger. Mrs. G is will be gone this weekend so I’m hoping when she returns that she will make one of her homemade pizzas for me to cook on the grill.

> ARK wrote: ↑Fri Apr 24, 2026 12:04 am > ...Seasoned the chops per recipe and put them on the grill. I reversed seared them. Pulled off the grill at 155F. cooked threw and juicy. Mrs Ark said they were good but not Yard House good. > Yard House is better than Chef Ark. What? Next time marinade in apple juice over night, salt, pepper, Magic Spice, smoke over apple wood. Looking for a good glaze to put over the top... Next time, try starting your reverse sear at 125*, maybe two minutes per side (depending on how hot your coals are), and pull them off at 130*. Let them rest for five minutes and the carry-over should bring them up to 135*, 'chef temp' (according to the chart I have pinned to a cabinet door). I think you'll find them much more juicy and tender. 155/160 is too much, trichinosis isn't really a problem anymore, no need to cook them so hard. Down where you are you should be able to find somebody raising some nice Duroc hogs, much better than WallyWorld meat. I like to finish my chops with a raspberry chipotle sauce. SBR used to make a really good one, I don't know why they stopped making it. Now I use one from Fischer & Wieser. I'll be doing some chops tonight.

I tend to over cook my hamburgers, chicken and pork. Smoking meat is a good alternative to over cooking

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Fri Apr 24, 2026 8:46 am > > ARK wrote: ↑Fri Apr 24, 2026 12:04 am > > ...Seasoned the chops per recipe and put them on the grill. I reversed seared them. Pulled off the grill at 155F. cooked threw and juicy. Mrs Ark said they were good but not Yard House good. > > Yard House is better than Chef Ark. What? Next time marinade in apple juice over night, salt, pepper, Magic Spice, smoke over apple wood. Looking for a good glaze to put over the top... > Next time, try starting your reverse sear at 125*, maybe two minutes per side (depending on how hot your coals are), and pull them off at 130*. Let them rest for five minutes and the carry-over should bring them up to 135*, 'chef temp' (according to the chart I have pinned to a cabinet door). I think you'll find them much more juicy and tender. 155/160 is too much, trichinosis isn't really a problem anymore, no need to cook them so hard. > Down where you are you should be able to find somebody raising some nice Duroc hogs, much better than WallyWorld meat. > I like to finish my chops with a raspberry chipotle sauce. SBR used to make a really good one, I don't know why they stopped making it. Now I use one from Fischer & Wieser. I'll be doing some chops tonight. You guys are just killing me! I'm writing down what you all talk about, reverse searing and other tips and have been watching the UTUBE videos about everything. Now I'm hungry but it's too late and my grill isn't on and none of you are here with the cuts of meat you're all cooking or the sauces ready! I'm going to bed hungry. rat dogs! My grill's coming out this week!

> . My grill's coming out this week! My grill stays out year round. I did buy a cover for this new grill and I push it under a partial roof on our deck. I remember one cooking I did last winter. A beautiful evening, the air was clear and crisp. I kept a beer I was sipping on stuck in a snow pile. Hoping to do a pizza this week.

> Mary5 wrote: ↑Sat Apr 25, 2026 12:56 am > You guys are just killing me! I'm writing down what you all talk about, reverse searing and other tips and have been watching the UTUBE videos about everything. Now I'm hungry but it's too late and my grill isn't on and none of you are here with the cuts of meat you're all cooking or the sauces ready! I'm going to bed hungry. rat dogs! My grill's coming out this week! If I remember right, you're in an area that doesn't get all that cold. My grills go all year 'round. I have a wide porch that wraps around three sides of the house, keeps the rain and snow off. It can be 15 to 20 below and I'll have the grill and/or smoker going, I hardly ever do meat inside unless it's a pot roast or stew in a slow cooker. Although, to be completely honest I'll have to admit that we spent so much time sub-zero here this Winter that I did take the easy way out a few times and put some things on the wood stove in cast iron. Of course, if you live in an apartment complex, with a landlord that tells you what you can and can't do, it might be a little more difficult.

> Of course, if you live in an apartment complex, with a landlord that tells you what you can and can't do, it might be a little more difficult. The first years of Mrs. G and I were married we lived in an apartment complex. We purchased a small grill. It was about the size of a five gallon bucket on its side. We took that thing everywhere.

The idea of smoking shrimp popped in my head. Found a recipe with large shrimp, butter, garlic and cajun seasonings. It is basically barbecue shrimp cooked on a smoker using pecan wood. Might have to try it soon.

> ARK wrote: ↑Sat Apr 25, 2026 3:57 pm > The idea of smoking shrimp popped in my head. Found a recipe with large shrimp, butter, garlic and cajun seasonings. It is basically barbecue shrimp cooked on a smoker using pecan wood. Might have to try it soon. Keep us posted. I have never had bad shrimp. I am especially curious about smoking it.

Did pork chops last night, with maple wood. They were store-cut chops, turned out a little tougher than I like. I need to get another whole loin and cut my own, always better that way.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Sat Apr 25, 2026 8:18 am > > Mary5 wrote: ↑Sat Apr 25, 2026 12:56 am > > You guys are just killing me! I'm writing down what you all talk about, reverse searing and other tips and have been watching the UTUBE videos about everything. Now I'm hungry but it's too late and my grill isn't on and none of you are here with the cuts of meat you're all cooking or the sauces ready! I'm going to bed hungry. rat dogs! My grill's coming out this week! > If I remember right, you're in an area that doesn't get all that cold. My grills go all year 'round. I have a wide porch that wraps around three sides of the house, keeps the rain and snow off. It can be 15 to 20 below and I'll have the grill and/or smoker going, I hardly ever do meat inside unless it's a pot roast or stew in a slow cooker. > Although, to be completely honest I'll have to admit that we spent so much time sub-zero here this Winter that I did take the easy way out a few times and put some things on the wood stove in cast iron. > Of course, if you live in an apartment complex, with a landlord that tells you what you can and can't do, it might be a little more difficult. > TwistedMister wrote: ↑Sat Apr 25, 2026 8:18 am > > Mary5 wrote: ↑Sat Apr 25, 2026 12:56 am > > You guys are just killing me! I'm writing down what you all talk about, reverse searing and other tips and have been watching the UTUBE videos about everything. Now I'm hungry but it's too late and my grill isn't on and none of you are here with the cuts of meat you're all cooking or the sauces ready! I'm going to bed hungry. rat dogs! My grill's coming out this week! > If I remember right, you're in an area that doesn't get all that cold. My grills go all year 'round. I have a wide porch that wraps around three sides of the house, keeps the rain and snow off. It can be 15 to 20 below and I'll have the grill and/or smoker going, I hardly ever do meat inside unless it's a pot roast or stew in a slow cooker. > Although, to be completely honest I'll have to admit that we spent so much time sub-zero here this Winter that I did take the easy way out a few times and put some things on the wood stove in cast iron. > Of course, if you live in an apartment complex, with a landlord that tells you what you can and can't do, it might be a little more difficult. I'm in the Midwest, Chicago area. We get below 0 temps and of course, are a windy area. Tornados usually run from May till September with the build up of Thunder/Lightening storms starting in April. March is a dangerous time for us in that winter shows up the day after a wonderful, sunny Springy kinda of day. We get snow, ice, rain which explains why we keep the shovels just outside the door, salt/pellets by the door and garage for the driveway area and the winter coats. Usually April is stormy but warmer. This year we've already had tornados in April. Our worst was early March just a couple counties south of me. Lots of land damage, homes destroyed.:( Afterwards came a storm that included hail the size of softballs. I have a colleague that has to have the roof and hood on her 3-month old, new car replaced. he had other damage around her car but that was the worst damage. March is sneaky! And can get dangerous! While we were out last Saturday we had what was called a Non-Storm Wind or a Wake Low storm. After serious rains and thunderstorms the pressures from behind the storms stretch as far as 30-50 miles. Together with the storms high pressure, it creates it's own gusty winds that knock down trees, create power outages, and of course it would still be raining really hard with really big droplets. We got home after the storm expecting lots of damage. Saw lots of downed trees, some house damage, etc. We were fortunate that our village caught some damage but nothing severe. We picked up some branches and put some stuff back up against the garage walls but nothing more. We did get the grill out this week. The gf had a couple days off and we have been smelling someone's grill from somewhere.:) So she did some dogs and I bought some corn on the cob. I usually don't like to buy non-seasonal foods but I took a chance on the cobs and they turned out pretty good! had some spuds with chopped onions, bacon and seasonings. All together it was a really good meal! Last year with my 2-knee surgeries and my gf experiencing some med issues, time outside got cut down to zilch!:( So, we want to really make up for it this year! I'm sure we'll have another grilling this week. My gf is excited about my interest in Smoking so I will be buying a smoker this week or next! ordered some seasonings and am already looking at the meats I want to pull from the freezer! When I lived in Washington state, I learned about cooking on a wood stove. I feel blessed to have had those experiences! I do miss all that but as much as my gf loves the Pacific Northwest after taking her there, it's too far away from her family for us to put a permanent home there. I could do that Washing again though. But oh well, we're here and we look around here to see maybe a little west or east in some of the states that are more the land than city to think about where we could end up.

> Mary5 wrote: ↑Wed Apr 29, 2026 3:40 pm > When I lived in Washington state, I learned about cooking on a wood stove. I feel blessed to have had those experiences! I do miss all that but as much as my gf loves the Pacific Northwest after taking her there, it's too far away from her family for us to put a permanent home there. I could do that Washing again though. But oh well, we're here and we look around here to see maybe a little west or east in some of the states that are more the land than city to think about where we could end up. Ah, OK, for some reason I thought you were still in the PNW. I wouldn't even want to visit Chicago, much less live there, closest I've got was Indianapolis on my way to Boulder, CO. You have my sympathies.

> I live in the Midwest, near Chicago. It gets below zero and we’re definitely a windy spot. Tornadoes usually show up between May and September as Thunder/Lightening storms ramp up starting in April. A few years back I did a four-day business trip to Chicago. My usual routine was to arrive early, shake off the jet lag, and get some sun. So on Sunday I toured the city and lakeside area. It was a lovely warm day until clouds and cold air rolled in looking like something from a sci-fi movie; I half-expected an alien spaceship to descend through them. That happened around 3pm when the weird weather and jet lag hit, so I headed back to my hotel. By the way, is that huge silver sausage-shaped object still standing in the park by the lake?

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Thu Apr 30, 2026 12:09 am > > Mary5 wrote: ↑Wed Apr 29, 2026 3:40 pm > > Ah, OK, for some reason I thought you were still in the PNW. I wouldn't even want to visit Chicago, much less live there, closest I've got was Indianapolis on my way to Boulder, CO. You have my sympathies. >:lol::lol::D Alright, alright! I get it! Although I grew up here and love the city, I spent too long away for me to want only urban life now. The Army gave me experience with small towns, villages, just being out in the sticks, and my ex-hubby was country so that added more rural living to my life. I miss that lifestyle more than any city. When I read your postings, T&G, ARK and a few others...well, I really do miss Washington and a few other smaller places where I've lived. My gf & I talk about moving away. We're looking while getting ourselves squared away for the move. > Actually, I was supposed to relocate to Golden, Colorado. I was going to bring my Mom along. It would have been fine since her Dad's family is there. She got sick and I moved back here to be her caretaker. Never expected that time to last so long—18 1/2 years! So, here I am now with a gf, and we both want away from the city. So, I agree with you about not living in or too close to a city anymore. Hopefully, within not many more years, we will be further out of Chicago and Cook County. I appreciate your sympathies and thank you for them!:D

> Spaceman wrote: ↑Mon May 04, 2026 1:00 am > > I live in the Midwest, near Chicago. It gets below zero and we’re definitely a windy spot. Tornadoes usually show up between May and September as Thunder/Lightening storms ramp up starting in April. > A few years back I did a four-day business trip to Chicago... By the way, is that huge silver sausage-shaped object still standing in the park by the lake? How interesting that Chicago can bring out such lively memories from those of us who aren't locals!:lol::D Yep, that's our normal weather pattern for any season! I guess our weather can look like something from another world. Probably later on your day it was all okay or there was another weather front coming in??? We call it the Midwest but actually, it’s Chicago’s own weather systems and the Lake Michigan effect. If you're talking about the "Bean" formally known as "Cloud Gate" because it reflects the Chicago sky, then yes, it's still at Millennium Park, which connects to "The Maggie Daily Park." She was the late wife of Mayor R. Daily Jr. He was our 2nd Mayor R. Daily and very much a strong hold Chicago politician like his Father. Maggie Daily was all about Chicago and devoted her life to the city, so..."The Maggie Daily Park," which is family-focused with structure and events year-round. :D:D:) Yep, that's Chicago!

*@Mary5* said: > My gf made some german style chicken noodle soup. It has everything veggies and chicken, noodles, rice and cut up spuds. She starts the broth with an onion. I'm not sure what more spices go in because I'm usually directed to leave her kitchen! I've been thinking about a soup I made last week; it turned out very good, even better than expected. I sometimes (often) 'cheat' when it comes to soups and stews by starting with something canned from the store and 'doctoring' it up to make ordinary ingredients taste great. First, you need smoked chicken, though any chicken will still come out great (even canned). I started with two cans of Progresso chicken and barley soup; you can use any kind of Progresso chicken soup you like. Start the soup while heating. Cut a good-sized onion and two or three carrots and put them in. Bring it up to a boil to soften the carrots, then turn down to a simmer. Add a can of peas (DelMonte or Libby's are best; I've found private label brands may have stems and other unwanted crap). Don't waste the juice by draining first. Add some 'Herbs de Provence', to taste—more or less as suits you. Add fresh ground pepper, or white pepper if preferred. Add smoked chicken as seems right; 12-16oz is good for me, cut into bite-sized pieces (shredded works too). When the carrots are nearly cooked to your liking, start a roux in a small saucepan: 4 Tbsp unsalted butter and 4 Tbsp GP/AP flour over gentle heat. Whisk together until the roux cooks enough not to be 'raw'. Add heavy cream until it reaches a nice consistency—not too thick or thin. Then add shredded cheddar cheese, about 1/4 cup (or slightly less), letting it melt in—the roux and cream will thicken and start pulling away from the bottom of the pan as you whisk; when that happens, it's ready to dump into the soup. Cook and stir for a few minutes. Easily serves two people, maybe with leftovers for lunch next day. It comes out nice and creamy without taking much time. If I served it to Gordon Ramsay without telling him it came from a can, he probably wouldn't know. *(I have never been one to use lots of salt, and since Mrs. Twisted and I both have had issues with high blood pressure, I’ve become more conscientious about not using too much salt in my cooking. I use unsalted butter for everything; you can always add salt if you want more. There are *some* things, like mashed potatoes, that won't taste right without *any* salt, but as far as I am concerned it's just an enhancement—you shouldn't be able to look at something and say "Oh, this has salt in it.")*

Speaking of using smoked chicken. Mrs. G used some leftover smoked chicken to make quesadillas recently. Talk about adding a zip of flavor. It was like having fajita quesadillas. Now it's a new favorite in our house.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Mon May 04, 2026 10:46 am > @Mary5 said: > > My gf made some german style chicken noodle soup. It has everything veggies and chicken, noodles, rice and cut up spuds. She starts the broth with an onion. I'm not sure what more spices go in because I'm usually directed to leave her kitchen! > I've been thinking about a soup I made last week... *(I have never been one to use lots of salt...)* Thanks for the recipe. I wrote it down & will be trying it out! It will be very nice for me to have different chicken soup recipes other than Mexican or Spanish caldos like the Mexican Chicken Tortilla Soup/Sopa de Tortilla con Pollo (common name, but traditional restaurant name is Sopa Azteca). 'Sopa' means soup; that's the end product. Another word we use is caldo meaning broth or thin soup because its base comes from cooking stock. or Spanish Chicken in Bravas Sauce, which produces a red sauce thanks to tomato sauce, Spanish Smoked Paprika, sliced red pepper/red bell pepper, and red wine vinegar. After everything is done it gets poured over potatoes (though white beans/cannellini or chickpeas are also in there—I like them most; I took the suggestion of air fryer spuds for being easier/quicker, but any roasted spud works). This is eaten with crusty bread rather than flour or corn tortillas, which differs from Mexican Caldos. or Sopa De Polla made with veggies and fideo (thin short vermicelli pasta; if you can't find it, break regular pasta to 1-2 inches. My parents used Angel Hair and broke it up). This has a nice tomato broth too with shredded chicken, veggies, zucchini, garlic—lots of good stuff. It's a caldo made by both Mexicans and Spaniards. Meats added vary; often no meat is added because the Sopa is considered a side dish like salad or a veggie/baked spud. A lot of Spanish chicken caldos/stews are hearty enough to be eaten with a fork instead, bread is common. I never thought about unsalted butter before. If a recipe calls for it and then adds salt for some unknown reason, I just don't add extra salt. That's something we pay attention to as well. I can go without and do so. My gf has done really well cutting down her usage and still works on it. I have an American soup now! Cool!:D

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Thu May 07, 2026 6:29 am > Twisted mister’s favorite, msg, is not in our diet anywhere. This is why we rarely eat out. Okay T&G, I have to ask: if she doesn't mind sharing her recipe, how did Mrs. G make her fajitas? If not that's okay. I'm always ready for a new recipe. Now, I've got a taste for fajitas and since I have some chicken breast in the fridge, I know what we'll be having this week.:)

> Mary5 wrote: ↑Tue May 05, 2026 10:26 pm > > Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Mon May 04, 2026 12:16 pm > > Speaking of using smoked chicken... Now a new favorite in our house. > Okay T&G, I have to ask... since I have some chicken breast in the fridge, I know what we'll be having this week.:) How does Mrs. G make anything? She sits and reads recipe books like romance novels, then makes up her own recipes. So it depends on her mood. She told me she uses a taco seasoning from a spice company called “iHerb”. My understanding is that iHerb only produces all-natural spices; this is where she gets most of hers. Twisted mister’s favorite, MSG, isn't in our diet anywhere. This is why we rarely eat out. I do the grill work for the fajitas and usually use mesquite wood. We always pre-slice the meat of choice, spice it, then put it on the grill. Her quesadillas are different too since we've eliminated all nightshades from our diet for about 10 years now. The onions for the quesadillas get sautéed in butter before being added to the chicken and maybe some cheese to make into the quesadilla. When she makes Mexican, we always have lots of fresh veggies, sour cream, shredded cheese etc.

> Mary5 wrote: ↑Tue May 05, 2026 10:19 pm > I have an American soup now! Cool!:D I'm not sure I'd call it 'American', since roux + cream/milk = Bechamel, one of the five 'mother' sauces attributed to 'classic' French cooking dating back [at least] to the 1600s. (Some say it was invented in Italy by a cook for Catherine de Medici and claim *she* brought it to France, but there is no historical documentation to back that up. The earliest documentation I can find is in François Pierre de la Varenne's 'Le Cuisinier François' published in 1651.) I prefer heavy cream instead of milk because it's 'richer' (sometimes called 'sauce creme'). Then, Bechamel + cheese becomes Mornay sauce, considered a 'daughter' sauce. Sauce Veloute is Bechamel + chicken stock. Not sure what they would call a combination of Mornay and Veloute.:ugeek: The five 'mother' sauces are a great start to many others. My wife's mother and aunt used to hate making gravy because it always came out 'lumpy', and I had trouble too. I was buying special, very fine flour (Wondra)...until I had one of those 'Doh!' moments when I realized that it would be much easier if you just consider it to be a 'sauce' (which it kind of is) and *start* with a roux. Start with a roux and the lump problem disappears. I'll bet you never thought you'd be getting French cooking lessons when you signed up here.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Thu May 07, 2026 6:29 am > Twisted mister’s favorite, msg, is not in our diet anywhere. This is why we rarely eat out. MSG has gotten a bad rap over the years due to misinformation by some ignorant folks. There really isn't an issue with it. In fact, it can be a better choice than ordinary salt. I think there were double-blind studies done that showed people complaining about MSG were talking through their hats. And as far as eating out goes, I think you will rarely find it anywhere other than Asian restaurants.

Who is going to try smoking a Thor’s hammer? Saw it last night on a smoking show.

I had to look that up at the meat church. Now I want one.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Thu May 07, 2026 9:10 am > I'll bet you never thought you'd be getting French cooking lessons when you signed up here. Tip: For thickening soups and stews that are already going without making a roux, keep some beurre manie on hand. Soften a stick of butter, put it in an appropriate size bowl, add 8 TBSP flour and mash it all up until well mixed. Cover and keep in the fridge; it's good for weeks/months. To use, add a tsp at a time until you get the consistency you want.

> ARK wrote: ↑Thu May 07, 2026 11:47 pm > Who is going to try smoking a Thor’s hammer? Saw it last night on a smoking show. I spent my whole life processing my own beef every year. Sometimes several if friends or family were involved. I have never heard of thors hammer. Since I no longer do any processing, I am now going to have to beg a buddy of mine to get me one. The things I have learned here never cease to amaze me. Oh and thanks TM for sticking me on meat church.

Watching TV and zipping through the channels, came across the Thor Hammer episode. It is on the Tastemade channel. The show is BBQ Smokeout. The web site is Another site to get recipes. Mrs Ark makes salads like TM cooks. Starts with lettuce and then throws in what she has available. Last night had onions, fresh garden cucumbers, 2 different herbs from the herb garden. Fresh herbs really changes the taste of a salad. Fired up the grill last night and cooked pattypan squash and onion. I guess I will be grilling more onions.

I watched BBQ Smokeout while smoking some salsa verde that Noah made. He grilled tomatillos, onions, garlic, and serrano peppers. Then he took everything off the grill, put it in a blender, added cilantro and salt, and blended it all together. So I wanted to give it a try. I bought the ingredients. Mrs Ark asked me what I was going to eat with the salsa verde? I didn't know. I just wanted to make it. She suggested street tacos with pork. That got my wheels spinning. I decided to buy a pound of pulled pork for my street tacos. There is no BBQ truck in town, but one food truck has pulled pork nachos. I asked how much a pound of pulled cost? $20. Then I had the idea of country style ribs. I went to the grocery store and got a pound and a half of country style ribs for $8. Plus, there was a buy-one-get-one-free deal. So 3 pounds of country style ribs for just $8. When I got home, I seasoned the ribs with my Boston butt rub. I put them in the crock pot with some liquid smoke and let them slow cook for 5 hours. Now I have my pulled pork. Now for the salsa verde. I fired up the grill. Mrs Ark wondered why I was using a serrano pepper, noting it is very spicy and hot. I said it would be fine because I am grilling everything anyway. I also added a salsa pepper from the garden to the recipe. After grilling everything, blending, and finishing, I tasted the salsa verde. Mrs Ark said it was a little bland. She tried some street tacos with it and said they were good. Next time, she thinks I should use carna seasoning. My thought process was focused on pulled pork, which means BBQ Boston butt. Also, I will not remove the seeds from the peppers.

I had planned to smoke some chicken last night. However, I had to take Mrs Twisted into the city for her heart doctor appointment at 10 AM. We got sandwiches in the hospital cafe—you can't beat them—big fat chicken salad sandwiches for only $3 each. They are the cheapest sandwich in town. On my way out of the city, I bought a new paint gun from the autobody supply store. I have been using a Harbor Freight gun with a 1.4mm tip, but I wanted a bigger tip and got one with a 1.8mm opening. Online commenters say HF guns are shit and don't last long, but I've gotten quite a few uses out of this $17 bargain bin find—the trick is to make sure you clean the damn thing when you're done using it. The new gun is an ATD; it weighs 2 or 3 times as much as the HF gun, has a 1L aluminum cup, no regulator or fittings, and cost about $90. I'll take the regulator and water separator off the HF gun and add a hi-flow plug to the new one. One of these days I'll figure out if the tips are interchangeable. After visiting the autobody shop, we stopped at the pharmacy to get our Covid jabs. When we got home, I started working on bee stuff. Around 5 PM, I began feeling crappy; I thought it was because I hadn't been wearing a dust mask while sanding (doh!). I went into the house for a snort of bourbon, figuring that would pick me up a little before making some marinade and getting some chicken thighs ready. But it didn't happen. By 6 PM, I was feeling way worse and finally realized it was the jab working its magic. In the end, I made some chicken noodle soup with canned chicken, ate a couple of spoonfuls, and then crawled into bed shivering. After 12 hours of crappy sleep and strange dreams, I feel a little better, but not much. Maybe I'll get some stuff done today. I need to be significantly better tomorrow because I have a huge rack of St. Louis-style ribs that are going in the smoker.

TM, hope you are feeling better. Being raised on BBQ in Memphis, all the BBQ joints serve baby back ribs. I have tried St. Louis style ribs once before but never cooked them myself. You need to post your results. My plan is to smoke some country style ribs this weekend. I had some last week that were cooked in the slow cooker. They were good, but I prefer smoked ribs. Last week a local grocery store had USDA bone-in ribeyes on sale. I picked up 2 steaks. They were huge and cut approximately 1 1/2” thick. I just seasoned them using salt and pepper. I seared both sides and then finished cooking them off the heat (not directly over the charcoal). I pulled them when the temperature hit 140F for a perfect medium doneness. Note: ribeyes have more fat than filets. I had to be careful not to burn the meat during the searing process, as the dripping fat on the charcoal caused several flare ups.

> ARK wrote: ↑ > Thu May 21, 2026 12:35 am > > TM hope you are feeling better. > Being raised on BBQ in Memphis. All the BBQ joints have baby back ribs. I have tried St. Louis style ribs once. Never cooked them. You need to post your results. Much better, just a temporary reaction. I was good by Sunday morning. It didn't hit Mrs. Twisted quite so quickly so she lagged a day behind. The ribs turned out great, smoked for 6 and a half hours with maple and oak wood. I realized I had run out of my usual rub, so I used something else ( ... favorite-rub)( that I'd bought to try. I've done baby backs twice: once on purpose and once when I grabbed the wrong pack by mistake (in too much of a hurry). I prefer the St. Louis cut; they're bigger and meatier, whereas baby backs seem like less meat for more money. Funny enough, been to Memphis a couple of times but never had ribs there. > > My plan is to smoke some country style ribs this weekend. Had some last week that were cooked in the slow cooker. They were good, but I prefer smoked ribs. Me too, never done ribs or butts in the slow cooker; that's for pot roast and stew. The racks I get are too big to fit without hacking them up first. > > Last week a local grocery store had USDA bone-in ribeyes on sale. Picked 2 steaks. They were huge and cut approximately 1 1/2” thick. I just seasoned using salt and pepper. I sear both sides and then finish cooking them off set (not over the charcoal). Pulled when the temperature hit 140F. Perfect medium. Note: ribeyes has more fat than filets. I had to careful of not burning the meat during the searing process. The dripping fat on charcoal caused several flare ups. I know a lot of people go gaga for ribeyes but I don't like them, too much fat for me. I'll take the NY Strip any day if I'm not doing FM.

I got me a Traeger pellet grill a couple years ago and have never looked back. I love that thing!! We eat lots of red meat. Course we in the business. I really enjoy a good ribeye myself but the wife is T-bone girl herself. Ironic now that I think about it. She will scarf the hell out of a T Bone but won't even look at my bone. Lol 😆🤣

TM, I do not think I can get Jimbo’s seasoning in Arkansas. When I first got into smoking ribs, I would use restaurant rubs and sauce. I came across Redneck Lick Stick, What caught my attention was the name, Redneck Lip Stick. Second, it is made in Arkansas. It had to be good. I though I would give it a try. The sauce is very good and has a slight burn on the lips. So I tried the rub. Again very good. That is my go to combo for ribs. For pulled pork, I have a special rub recipe. I will use the Redneck Lip Stick sauce when I eat my pulled pork. I need to smoke some pork this week. I have been too busy working in the garden to really slow cook some pork.

> ARK wrote: ↑ > Tue May 26, 2026 11:54 pm > > TM, I do not think I can get Jimbo’s seasoning in Arkansas. You can order right off the link, just like I'm going to do with the redneck lipstick. Jimbo's has a number of flavors, check them all out.

Need some help. Mrs. Ark and I have started watching Best Medicine. In the show they talk about a lobster roll. Researching lobster roll, there is Maine lobster roll and Connecticut lobster roll. Since the show is based in Maine (actually shot in New York on the Hudson river). I think I would like to make a Maine lobster roll. So is a lobster roll as great as the show portrays it. I can order a Maine lobster roll kit for $200. Is it worth it. In Louisiana, they have shrimp po’boy sandwiches. The key to a good po’boy is the remoulade sauce. I could try a crawfish or mud bug roll. I would have to find a good bread that is not sliced on the side. TM, I will order Jimbo’s seasoning. I checked out their website. Do you have any suggestion which seasoning I should order? Did not get to smoke anything this weekend. Mrs. Ark had me busy. Family coming in this week and we cook their favorite or traditional meals. Mrs. Ark cooked meatloaf last night. Saturday night I a request for grilled chicken with cheddar cheese and green onions. I might add the option of sautéed mushrooms. Depends who shows up.

> ARK wrote: ↑Wed May 27, 2026 11:57 pm > Need some help. Mrs. Ark and I have started watching Best Medicine. In the show they talk about a lobster roll. Researching lobster roll, there is Maine lobster roll and Connecticut lobster roll. Since the show is based in Maine (actually shot in New York on the Hudson river). I think I would like to make a Maine lobster roll. So is a lobster roll as great as the show portrays it. **I can order a Maine lobster roll kit for $200. Is it worth it.** $200? That's a rip-off. I don't eat lobster or any other fish or seafood except canned tuna and Snow's clam chowder, but I do cook lobsters for Mrs. Twisted. The last time I bought a live one, it cost less than $10. We occasionally ship live lobsters to Mrs. Twisted's father in TX; he can't find any decent ones there. It costs more for the packing and shipping than for the actual lobsters. (Packed in dry ice, the cold doesn't kill them so they are still as good as if you just pulled them out of the ocean.) > In Louisiana, they have shrimp po’boy sandwiches. They key to a good po’boy is the remoulade sauce. I could try a crawfish or mud bug roll. I would have to find a good bread that is not sliced on the side. I don't actually know what goes into a lobster roll, though Mrs. Twisted gets them from time to time. I'll find out; I don't think it's very complicated. One of the **key** points seems to be that the lobster must be very fresh. > TM, I will order Jimbo’s seasoning. I checked out their website. Do you have any suggestion which seasoning I should order? So far I have only tried the 'original' and the 'hunter's favorite'. They are both decent. I can't say whether they are any 'better' than some of the other [commercial] offerings or the ones I make myself, but I just like variety.

Found a beef brisket on clearance at Wally World. It was $3.74 a pound with a total cost of $42; originally it was $62. With that third-off discount, I took the plunge. I’ve never smoked a brisket before so I’m open for suggestions. Maybe I’ll do it this fourth? Usually, I go for pork steak on the fourth, so maybe I should save it for later—perhaps this fall. Stopped by my local butcher shop to buy fish and supplies for an upcoming fish fry. He happened to have two beef briskets in his case. He’s a great guy; we do quite a bit of business with him, and he has fresh, high-quality meat. But I can’t justify $6.99 a pound when the total cost hits around $100. So hit me with your brisket smoking do’s and don’ts.

3.74 lb brisket sounds like a small trim brisket. This size is good for learning how to cook it. I cook on that size and feed four adults with little left over (leftovers mean everyone got their fill; no leftovers means the guests are still hungry). The trick to brisket is low and slow. I cook them so slowly that slicing can be tricky because they tend to fall apart if cooked too long. When you get a good crust on the outside, wrap it up in aluminum foil and stick it back on the smoker. I use ‘Yeah, I-Lived-in-Texas, Smoked Brisket recipe’ (google it). Mrs Ark won’t let me put any cayenne pepper; she says it burns her lips. Plan for a couple of hours. Checking my notes from last time: 10:45 am placed on smoker 3:00 pm added charcoal and wood chips Pulled off smoker at 4:15pm wrapped in aluminum foil Placed in oven at 225F Pulled from oven at 6:30 and let rest for 30 mins Comments: meat was tender and moist. Next time watch the smoker closer, add charcoal sooner, and smoke longer. Good luck

> ARK wrote: ↑Fri May 29, 2026 11:50 pm > 3.74 lb brisket sounds like a small trim brisket. That was $3.74 per pound; the total original price of **$62**. He's got a big one.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Sat May 30, 2026 12:20 am > > ARK wrote: ↑Fri May 29, 2026 11:50 pm > > 3.74 lb brisket sounds like a small trim brisket. > That was $3.74 per pound; total original price of **$62**. He's got a big one. 3.74 was the reduced price. It weighed just under 12 lbs.; the original price was closer to 5.50. I’m not sure if it was considered large or small, but I was looking at the $/lb as an opportunity to smoke a brisket. @Ark > 10:45 am placed on smoker > 3:00 pm added charcoal and wood chips > Pulled off smoker at 4:15pm wrapped in aluminum foil > Placed in oven at 225F Do you know what your smoker temp was? Any recommendations for wood chip? I was thinking maybe mesquite? Or will that be too strong. I mostly use cherry for pork and maple for chicken. I also have some pecan and apple readily available. Mrs. G says she is spoiled by cherry.

Ok so I googled ‘Yeah, I-Lived-in-Texas, Smoked Brisket recipe’ All the details were there, including an interesting chip combination. I’ll pass the ingredients list on to Mrs G; she will definitely modify it to taste. Any more info is welcome.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Sat May 30, 2026 6:23 am > The price of $3.74 was the discounted rate. It weighed a bit under 12 lbs., and I believe the original cost hovered around $5.50 per pound. I wasn't certain whether it counted as large or small; I just saw that lower dollar-per-pound figure as a good chance to smoke one. You have quite a sizeable cut there—the entire brisket, not merely the flat or point sections. The vacuum-packed portions weighing 3-4 lbs., often marketed as 'corned beef' for St. Patrick's Day, are those separated flats and points. Depending on how your butcher sliced it, you might be dealing with a fairly thick fat cap, especially near the point end, which should probably be trimmed down to roughly 1/4 inch. > Do you know what temperature was inside the smoker? Since this is such a substantial piece of meat, aim for low and slow cooking—between 225-250 degrees. Expect it to take quite some time. Make sure your remote thermometer probe stays in place; constantly lifting the lid to check lets heat escape. There's an old saying: "If you're lookin' you ain't cookin'," which holds especially true for whole briskets. That is a massive slab of meat, and it will be cooking for about an hour per pound, perhaps even longer. When you begin, the internal temperature climbs until reaching roughly 160 degrees... then it plateaus for a while. This phase is known as 'the stall,' which is perfectly normal. Here is where the 'Texas Crutch' becomes useful: wrapping the brisket in foil or uncoated peach-colored butcher paper allows you to continue cooking. Professional competition cooks often do this, though a small group of 'purists' (BBQ enthusiasts who are convinced their method is the only correct one) argue against it because they believe the bark loses its crunch and insist on waiting it out without wrapping. It mirrors the debate over ribs using either the 3-2-1 wrap technique versus no-wrap. Here's a key point about the 'crutch'—once you've wrapped the meat, smoke absorption stops. So if your smoker isn't heavy-duty with thick walls (anywhere from 1/4" to 5/8", or even up to 1/2") and doesn't hold heat well without needing constant attention ('baby-sitting'), you can simply move it into an oven set at 225 degrees for the remainder of the cook. You can read more about the advantages and disadvantages of the 'Texas Crutch' here: Personally, I prefer using butcher paper (I buy industrial-sized rolls) to put it back into the smoker. This saves on electricity costs, plus since I heat my home with wood stoves, I have plenty of firewood cut too small that is practically 'free' (yes, I'm frugal). When the meat hits its target temperature, I transfer it to one of those heavy-duty styrofoam coolers saved from Omaha Steaks deliveries—they stopped using them due to complaints about environmental concerns—to let it rest for several hours. > Suggestions on wood chips? Mesquite was my thought. Or will that be overpowering? Cherry is what I usually use for pork, maple for chicken. I also have pecan and apple close by. > Mrs. G notes she has developed a taste for cherry (she's spoiled). Beef handles bold flavors well. Mesquite works nicely if you enjoy its distinct profile (I certainly do). Hickory and oak are solid alternatives as well. I tend to avoid hickory or mesquite because it hurts my wallet buying packaged wood chunks when I have heaps of oak right here. I harvest apple and maple from my own trees, plus keep extra maple for lighter meats like pork and chicken. Ultimately though, it boils down to doing what suits *you* best—taking advice and tips from others but adapting them to your preferences (much like chastity).

You hit the nail on the head regarding that brisket cut, TM. Mrs. G and I were just talking about trimming off some of that fat; your tip was much appreciated. I also like using my own wood chunks since I have more than enough to last forever. Mesquite and pecan are really the only ones I buy, though I think I might have found a sawyer with some pecan slabs recently. Butcher paper is my go-to—no wax coating at all. Sure, I’ve tried the foil method, but something about the paper just feels better to me. Maybe it’s because I’m cheap; we stock up on bulk paper since we process meat regularly in our own kitchen. My shop kitchen doubles as a butcher area too. The bandsaw is over 50 years old and incredibly heavy-duty. Mrs. G can wrap meat like nobody's business. Since I wake up early, I plan to kick things off around 4 a.m. so we’re eating by 6 p.m. She’s leaning toward Labor Day for the brisket feast now. Thanks again!

> I am an early riser so I am planning to start about 4 a.m. in order to eat by 6 p.m. she’s now thinking Labor Day might be a good time to have brisket. You might need a bit more leeway there. You can always grab a nap somewhere inside the smoker, right? Also, I hope you aren't saving that specific slab just for Labor Day. Cook it... and maybe do a few test runs in between now and then to dial in your timing perfectly. Don't forget you have about a dozen friends who can be roped into helping clean up after those trial cooks! ------------------------------------------------------ Tonight we had smoked sausages: Chinese links for Mrs., brats for me, all on maple wood. But the real star was the peas—I decided to throw caution to the wind and chopped up an entire onion, putting it in an 8-inch cast iron skillet with three tablespoons of butter and a pinch of salt to caramelize. I started at medium-high heat, then gradually lowered it as the onions cooked down. The canned Libby peas (drained) went into the top part of a double boiler with another tablespoon of butter once the onion was nearly ready. Then I dumped everything together—peas, onions, and all that butter—with some white pepper sprinkled on top. I can’t believe I never thought of this before. The result was fantastic. Granted, properly caramelizing an onion takes time, but it’s not much hard labor; just keep an eye on them and stir occasionally so they don't burn too fast—you definitely want to caramelize, not fry. Next time, I’ll try frozen peas instead; the canned ones were a little too mushy for my liking.

> . And I hope you're not intending to save this particular slab for Labor Day, cook that sucker...and a few more between now and then, The main issue right now is simply time. We are so backed up during this season of the year. I’m waiting for summer heat to break before tackling my workload properly. It’s hay season here too, meaning nothing else gets done until that's finished. Mrs. G is currently butchering chickens, making kraut, and doing early canning. Yesterday involved fixing fence damage from storms, and today will be much the same. I’ve been trying for a month to start adding a bathroom and shower to my wood shop. I’m not complaining; it’s just that I come in so late and exhausted that I fall asleep over dinner and couldn’t care less if I get unlocked or not. It’s our lifestyle, which makes meat smoking more of a luxury spare-time activity than anything else. Until I get an independent smoker, I have to dedicate myself fully to this one and watch it closely. As for the timing, I’ll likely use your Texas crutch method and put her in the oven for the last hour or so regarding internal temperature monitoring—I do have a dual-function thermometer with separate probes for the smoker and the meat. It even has a mobile unit that lets me wander around if needed.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Tue Jun 02, 2026 6:36 am > As for the amount of time to smoke it I will probably use your Texas crutch idea and her oven for the last hour or so. In reference to an internal thermometer I do have one with dual function. One for the smoker and one for the meat. It also has a Mobil unit that I can carry with me if I need to be out and about from time to time. 'Last hour'? Shirley, you must be joking! It’s been ages since I cooked a full packer brisket, but as I remember it, the stall happens much earlier in the process. That means you’ll actually have more than an hour left for the oven phase. I should be getting more done too—I *want* to get things moving—and I even planned on it...but honestly, I just can’t manage it anymore. I keep fighting it, but I think I’m going to accept that I am never going back to where I was before BC (Before Covid). I’ve come a long way from when I first left the ICU and could barely shuffle to the mailbox and back, but I’m nowhere near my pre-Wu-Flu self. Back then, I’d spend nine hours at work on my feet—putting kids to shame—and still have enough energy to get chores done here too. Now? It takes two or three hours just to become semi-functional. Then I get another two or three hours of productivity before dragging ass and stopping for the day. I feel robbed! I keep pushing, but it’s been five years; I think this is about as good as it gets. It took me three days just to clear out a new 1,000 sq. ft. patch and remove all the rocks, plus two more days to lightly till it. Now I need to deep-till, create rows and furrows, and maybe get some sweet corn planted. I was going to plant parsnips there, but I bought pelleted seed that’s probably expired since they’re two years old. I missed planting them last year because the Wu-Flu hit me twice. The seed company says pelleting shortens their lifespan anyway. Plus, I just read you shouldn't put parsnips in ground where sod was recently turned over because the nitrogen content will be too high—so corn it is. Then I’ll see if I can work up the spot where I planted corn two years ago back again, alternating pelleted seed with turnips in half of it to hopefully get *something* growing. For the other half, I have a different non-pelleted parsnip variety for over-wintering, maybe adding more turnips since they only take 50 days. Then I’ll look at clearing out more new patches for next year. Maybe I should ride into town and grab some of those homeless guys with the 'will work for food' signs and teach them to run the tractor. I'll sit on my little garden tractor with a whip, ensuring they mean business. The dog can get some exercise chasing any that try to bolt.:lol:

Had grilled chicken breast last weekend. Simple trick is slicing the breasts in half so they cook through completely without drying out the outside. I tried a new method with the chicken too: sautéed mushrooms separately, then after my last flip of the meat, placed the warm sautéed mushrooms on top. Then added shredded cheese and sliced green onions. It was delicious; everyone loved it. Another variation for grilled chicken would be adding bacon on top.

> . Last hour'? Shirley, you jest. It's been a while since I did a full packer brisket but, as I recall the stall comes [much] earlier in the cook, so you'll have more time in the oven than that. Okay, so I need to sit down and draft a generic schedule. Clearly, I’m still wet behind the ears when it comes to smoking—which explains why I haven’t upgraded my smoker yet. And by the way, don't call me Shirley. Did you catch that? Lol, my name isn't Shirley! Haven't heard that one in decades.:lol:

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Tue Jun 02, 2026 12:38 pm > And by the way don’t call me Shirley. > Did you catch that? Lol my names not Shirley. I haven’t seen that one in decades.:lol: An old classic! Yeah, I haven't upgraded either. Still wrestling with this Char-Griller—the pan is burned out and the charcoal grate is bent up too. That $2k price tag for a new one is hard to swallow; I should have bought last year when my desired model was only $1300 before those ridiculous tariffs kicked in. If I'm going to get screwed, let it be Julie Newmar—or maybe Lucy Lawless.

I reread the section on the Texas crutch. It’s clear I need to jot down some notes before diving into that brisket. Went to a family gathering last weekend and they had a new pellet smoker running. Impressive how maintenance-free it was, though what didn’t sit well with me was its reliance on electricity and having to buy pellets constantly. I prefer real fire—natural charcoal plus my own wood for authentic smokiness. I’ve started boxing up scraps from the wood shop to organize them on a shelf. Had an idea yesterday: that persimmon tree probably needs cutting by this fall. Has anyone used persimmon wood for smoking? I figure it’s either very sweet or quite bitter.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Wed Jun 03, 2026 6:06 am > I had an idea yesterday. I have a persimmon tree that is probably going to have to be cut by this fall. Has anyone used persimmon wood to smoke with. I’m figuring that it’s either real sweet or real bitter. I went down a bit of a rabbithole on this one myself. From what I've read, it compares favorably with apple and cherry, and people do use it when they can source it. Makes perfect sense; both apples and oaks have high tannin content in their fruit/nuts but work well for smoking.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Wed Jun 03, 2026 9:17 am > > Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Wed Jun 03, 2026 6:06 am > > I had an idea yesterday. I have a persimmon tree that is probably going to have to be cut by this fall. Has anyone used persimmon wood to smoke with. I’m figuring that it’s either real sweet or real bitter. > I just went down a bit of a rabbithole with this one. From what I've been reading, it compares favorably with apple and cherry and people do use it when they can get it. > Makes sense, both apple and oak have high tannin content in the fruit/nuts but are good for smoking. So you made me look! I just found persimmon chips on eBay for some crazy prices. Looks like that tree is coming down sooner than planned—cut up small and set aside to dry.

Need to plant two persimmon trees to replace the one you're cutting down. Persimmons make excellent deer bait.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Wed Jun 03, 2026 10:46 am > I just found persimmon chips for smoking on eBay for some stupid $$. That's something I've noticed over the last few years (since the Plague started)—people on Amazon, e-Bay, and third-party Walmart sellers advertising goods at ridiculously high prices, sometimes 10x what they're worth elsewhere. WTF? Is anyone actually buying stuff at those rates, or is there a game being played? My detective brain wants to investigate further, but I have more pressing issues closer to home.

> ARK wrote: ↑Wed Jun 03, 2026 4:11 pm > Need to plant 2 persimmon trees to replace the one that you are going to cut. Persimmons are great deer bait. The only reason I’m cutting it is because it’s tangled with a dead tree that's becoming hazardous. There are plenty of other persimmon trees around, and yes, both deer and my donkeys love them. I never cared much for the fruit myself, but once I made an excellent batch of persimmon wine. The drought over the past few years has left me with too much dying timber. Some trees are becoming dangerous to people and livestock alike. There are two in my driveway that have gone on way too long; a professional logging buddy is helping remove them.

> . That's something I've noticed over the last few years (since the Plague started)- people on amazon, e-bay, and 3rd-party Walmart sellers advertising stuff for stupid high prices, So it’s not just me? I don’t do Facebook much, but I occasionally browse marketplace for ideas. Yet to find a real deal there. And speaking of fees—don't even get me started on the 'fee pandemic' left behind by Covid. Everyone wants to charge you extra just to look at your payment method now. Lately, I ask before every purchase if there’s an added fee tied to how I pay. A tire shop I used for decades recently started charging a ‘shop fee’ to cover consumables like hand cleaner. To me, that's just a business expense built into the tire price—a tax write-off essentially. So I took my business elsewhere to an old mom-and-pop tire shop with no extra fees. Oops! Didn't mean to go off on that tangent.

> Tongue+groove wrote: ↑Thu Jun 04, 2026 5:54 am > > . That's something I've noticed over the last few years (since the Plague started)- people on amazon, e-bay, and 3rd-party Walmart sellers advertising stuff for stupid high prices, > So it’s not just me? I don’t do Facebook but I do occasionally shop marketplace for ideas. I have yet to find a real deal on there. > And don’t even get me started on the fee pandemic that Covid left behind. Everyone wants to charge a fee just to look at you. Anymore I ask before every purchase if there is a fee tied to my purchase method. > A tire shop I used for decades started charging a ‘shop fee’ to cover the cost of consumables used in the shop. Basically a fee for the hand cleaner the shop guys used. To me that is a business expense built into the price of your tires, a tax write off. I took my business to an old mom and pop tire shop, no fees. > Oops I didn’t mean to get that one started. Nope, not just you; everybody and his brother is tacking on all kinds of fees anywhere they can. I buy the red shop towels—it's only a few bucks for a pack of 100, usable for a long time, and re-usable—but a shop charges every single customer enough of a 'fee' to basically buy their own whole pack. One that bugs me bad is vehicle dealers charging $400+ as a 'doc fee'. Goddam secretary (that they need to find work for anyway) spends 10 minutes typing up the papers, and they want $400 for it? They can get fucked. In the early 2000s I bought a new (to me) motorcycle. I knew what the highest bid on e-bay was. I went in to the dealer and offered $3000 for it, cash on the barrelhead (A good bit higher than the highest bid, but a fair price for a '96 Virago 1100 with only 6000 miles on it). The salesman was a right asshole; gave me a lot of shit about whether I had the money, and then wanted me to give him some bills so he could check them 'to see if they're real'. I actually had $20k in my pocket at the time. Pissed me off. Anywho, when all was said and done and he came back with the papers, there was a doc fee and a bunch of other crap that brought the 'price' up to nearly $4000. I looked at the papers and then threw them on the desk "I'm not paying that. I told you $3000 and that's all I'm going to pay; I'm not going to let you tack on all this other bullshit." This was on a Saturday afternoon, I had my pick-up and a set of ramps with me and the salesman had told me it was 'ready to go, needs nothing'. You know what the salesman said? "You can take your money and get the fuck out." So I did. I put my money back in my pocket and I went home. 9AM the next morning (Sunday), my phone rings. It's the owner of the dealership- "I understand that you were here last night, looking to buy a bike with cash, and my salesman told you to take your money and leave. And you did." "That's right." "Do you still want the bike for the 3 grand you offered?" "Sure. I can be there in an hour." He started hemming and hawing about 'prepping' it. "Your salesman told me that it was ready to go and needed nothing. Did he lie about that?" "Errrr..." "Look, I'll be there in an hour, with the cash. If the bike is ready, I'll take it." "OK." It was ready; I gave the $3k and loaded it into my truck. --------------------------------------- Even the gov does it to me with every vehicle I register- they tack on a $2 'agent fee' for each one. At first I thought it was the town doing it. Last state I lived in, you had to go to the registry (DMV, BMV, whatever your state calls it) to do anything. Here, I can just go to the town office and do it; I figured it was worth the $2 not to have to drive into the city and wait in line for two hours to do a registration. Then one year I was a little late and took the option to do it on-line. There was the $2 'agent fee', still there. Next one, I went to the BMV. There was the damn 'agent fee', again. Bottom line- it's just one more fee that the gov is using to shake down the taxpayers. At least the goddam infernal revenuers gave me interest on the money they held when they audited my '24 return...and at a far higher rate than if it had been sitting in the bank. Banks are raping people with the fees and interest they charge for loans and credit, but they aren't paying the customers jack shit in return for [using] the money they have on deposit. Want paper statements? Gonna cost you $3/mo or more. I had to go in-person and have a fight with my bank when they suddenly started charging me. "Well, you can look at your statements on-line." "No, I can't, because your system keeps telling me that my computer/browser is too old and out of date. I'm not spending hundreds of dollars on a new computer because *you* changed your system. And I'm *not* letting you steal money every month for the privilege of 'letting' you hold *my* money that you loan out and charge huge interest for. You'd get all pissed off if someone came in here and robbed you, but you expect all the people to just sit back, shut up and take it while *you* rob *them* of far more money than an ordinary robber would get for sticking up your bank." I got my free statements back. It's the very *least* they can do for using *my* money.

> . I had the cash and he asked me to hand over some bills so he could check them 'to see if they're real'. At that moment, I actually had $20k in my pocket. It really annoyed me. We might share a distant bloodline somewhere. Back in 2009, I was finally ready to buy a new tractor—it took years but I did it. My research narrowed the choice down to two brands. I went to brand No. 1 and told them what I wanted. The salesman said that’s a $40k tractor and you can’t afford it. Stunned, I asked, "What?" He repeated, "You can't afford that." So I replied, let's just assume for a moment that I can't; you do offer zero percent financing. He answered yes, but then the price jumps to $43k. Again stunned, I said thanks for helping me decide where my cash goes, and walked out. Dealer no. 2 was happy enough to make the sale. I once stormed off a car lot because of over $50 in fees. The salesman tried using my pregnant wife as leverage on my sympathies. She backed him into a corner and gave it to him about me being 'the man'. She told him she never manipulates her husband for anything. I think she left a shoe up his ass. We taught our kids good financial habits. Both of them had similar experiences buying their first home. They were both 26 years old, held master’s degrees, and carried no college debt. Both drove older cars that were paid off, had solid jobs, put down 20 percent on the house loan, and faced deep investigation by lender banks. Both kids offered to take their business elsewhere. Both received apologies from bank presidents and secured low-interest fixed-rate 15-year loans. It was so coincidental it was amazing. I was especially proud of my daughter for not getting pushed around by some suit who claimed her money was fraudulently acquired. Both paid off early too. Cash is king and holds the control in every transaction.

Mrs. Ark was looking for a car for herself. We went to one dealership and told the salesman that we were there for Mrs. Ark. He started listing the safety features of the car directly to me. Mrs. Ark walked away and got back in the vehicle. She realized she was the one buying the car, not me. When buying our first house, on the second day working with the realtor, I told him at the very first house he showed us that Mrs. Ark is purchasing it; I am just here to figure out how to pay for it. After that point, they would look at the house while I examined the yard and surrounding area. Meat smoking. Smoked some country style ribs on my smoker. Targeting 165F. On the smoker, only could get the ribs up to 145F. Sprayed ribs every 30 minutes with apple juice to prevent the outside from burning. After 4 hours wrapped in aluminum foil and placed in the oven at 250F for 45 minutes before pulling them out. Rib temperature was 190F. Mrs. Ark said they were dry and over cooked. Need some work on my rib skills

> ARK wrote: ↑Wed Jun 17, 2026 12:22 am > Smoking some country style ribs. Aiming for an internal temp of 165F. My smoker only managed to get them up to 145F though. I misted the meat with apple juice every half hour to keep the exterior from charring. After four hours, I wrapped everything in foil and put it in a 250F oven for another 45 minutes before taking it out. The final rib temperature hit 190F. Mrs. Ark commented that they tasted dry and were overcooked. Still room for improvement on my technique. When you lift the smoker lid, heat escapes. Also, adding liquid drops the temperature due to evaporation. I usually keep a water pan inside; it retains moisture and stabilizes the internal climate so I don't have to open it as often. If I recall correctly, do you own that small Brinkmann bullet model? It typically includes a water pan. If yours is lost, Sam's Club probably stocks affordable stainless steel bowls that would work just fine—I believe I picked up three for around $15. > Mrs. Ark was searching for a car. We visited one dealership and let the salesman know we were there to buy for her. He began explaining the safety features directly to me. Mrs. Ark stepped aside and re-entered the vehicle, realizing she is actually the purchaser here. > On our second day with the realtor while buying our first home, I pointed out at the very first property shown that Mrs. Ark was making the purchase; I was merely there to handle the financing logistics. From then on, they focused on the house interior while I inspected the yard and neighborhood. I recently read an article discussing how men often overlook women when they really shouldn't. We've moved past the 1950s era of Beaver Cleaver, where he just said "Fuck it" and left. I have always viewed women as equals, particularly after working with two young ladies in the Army—one was on par with any man I knew, while the other held her own against *two* men. While the guys were struggling or lagging behind, they remained strong and fierce competitors. Plus, my wife served as a police officer; I helped coach her through academy workouts and taught her marksmanship.

> ARK wrote: ↑Wed Jun 17, 2026 12:22 am > Mrs. Ark walked away and got back in the car. She was the one buying the car, not me. That's good for her. I trust he (the salesman) caught on to that and probably felt rather foolish losing a potential sale because of it. I wasn't entirely sure what this thread concerned initially. I even had to look up 'meat smoking'!

> KnownAsHerbert wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2026 12:02 am > > ARK wrote: ↑Wed Jun 17, 2026 12:22 am > > Mrs. Ark walked away and got back in the car. She was the one buying the car, not me. > Good for her. I hope he (the salesman) got the message and felt pretty stupid at losing a potential sale. > I had no idea what this thread was all about. I've had to go and look up 'meat smoking'! *@KnownAsHerbert* It’s one of those entertaining little threads that helps distract your mind from the fact that your partner isn’t currently engaging in some vigorous activity right now. Not sure why that thought popped into my head, hmmm?

> KnownAsHerbert wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2026 12:02 am > I had no idea what this thread was all about. I've had to go and look up 'meat smoking'! Haha, true enough. This probably belonged in the Lounge originally, but I'm not feeling motivated to shuffle it over now. Perhaps people hunting for content on smoking will stumble upon a fresh thought... then again, I just ran a search myself—ten pages deep—and we’re still nowhere to be seen. Oh well.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2026 6:42 am > > KnownAsHerbert wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2026 12:02 am > > I had no idea what this thread was all about. I've had to go and look up 'meat smoking'! > Haha, true enough. This probably belonged in the Lounge originally, but I'm not feeling motivated to shuffle it over now. Perhaps people hunting for content on smoking will stumble upon a fresh thought... then again, I just ran a search myself—ten pages deep—and we’re still nowhere to be seen. Oh well. I believe I started this thread. Since I usually hang out in the active topics section, I’m not entirely sure where it ought to have been placed. Either way, maybe Herbi has secured enough entertainment for his coming months.

> TwistedMister wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2026 6:42 am > > KnownAsHerbert wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2026 12:02 am > > I had no idea what this thread was all about. I've got to go and look up 'meat smoking'! > Haha, that tracks. This likely should have been in the Lounge originally, but I'm not feeling particularly motivated to move it right now. Maybe people hunting for content on smoking will stumble upon a fresh thought... then again, I just ran a search myself—ten pages deep—and we’re still nowhere to be seen. Oh well. Yes, I wasn't really concerned about the location but I'd truly never heard of meat smoking before this. Perhaps it's not as common in the UK? I honestly don't know.

> KnownAsHerbert wrote: ↑Sat Jun 20, 2026 2:24 pm > > TwistedMister wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2026 6:42 am > > > KnownAsHerbert wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2026 12:02 am > > > I had no idea what this thread was all about. I've got to go and look up 'meat smoking'! > > Haha, that tracks. This likely should have been in the Lounge originally, but I'm not feeling particularly motivated to move it right now. Maybe people hunting for content on smoking will stumble upon a fresh thought... then again, I just ran a search myself—ten pages deep—and we’re still nowhere to be seen. Oh well. > Yes, I wasn't really concerned about the location but I'd truly never heard of meat smoking before this. Perhaps it's not as common in the UK? I honestly don't know. Preserving food through smoking is an ancient practice, tracing back at least to the Vikings and other Scandinavians whose influence spread across cultures, possibly even further back. The Picts and other early colonizers of Great Britain certainly knew about it too. The tradition of smoking fish, hams, sausages, and various meats is well-established. It’s no surprise you weren’t familiar with it. Even here in the US, indigenous peoples were using this method over a millennium ago, though I only really started paying attention to it myself within the last decade or so. You should give it a shot; elevating BBQs and open-fire cooking is quite simple once you start. Right now, I have a chunk of maple wood burning for some bratwurst.

> . Preserving food through smoking is an ancient practice, tracing back at least to the Vikings and other Scandinavians whose influence spread across cultures, possibly even further back. The Picts and other early colonizers of Great Britain certainly knew about it too. The tradition of smoking fish, hams, sausages, and various meats is well-established. It’s no surprise you weren’t familiar with it. Even here in the US, indigenous peoples were using this method over a millennium ago, though I only really started paying attention to it myself within the last decade or so. My grandfather used to talk about the smoke house his parents owned. Keeping fire tended was always part of his duties. Modern refrigeration has largely made dedicated smoke houses obsolete. It’s fascinating how many practical skills from everyday life have been lost in pursuit of convenience. This is why electricity, once a luxury, is now an absolute necessity.

I've seen smoked ham at the grocery store. I bought smoked ham. I ate it and enjoyed it. But I always assumed that if I thought about it much, it was just an industrial process. Not something regular folks do themselves at home. A smoke house? Wow. It’s amazing what you can learn while your cock is locked up in a bit of steel.

> KnownAsHerbert wrote: ↑Sun Jun 21, 2026 7:44 am > I've seen smoked ham at the grocery store. > I bought smoked ham. > I ate it and enjoyed it. > But I always assumed that if I thought about it much, it was just an industrial process. Not something regular folks do themselves at home. > A smoke house? Wow. > It’s amazing what you can learn while your cock is locked up in a bit of steel. You’ll also notice sugar-cured or salt-cured hams around. That's simply another preservation method used before refrigeration became standard. Agreed on the point about how being locked up makes us curious.

When I smoke a ham myself, I usually go for the butt section. The shank is harder to get curved up properly. Also, most hams I buy are pre-smoked or fully cooked; you’re supposed to just heat them through. I prefer smoking mine again to boost flavor and render out more fat. I use hickory wood and add pineapple juice to my water pan. Typically, I smoke it for about 4 hours, then pour maple syrup over the top and let it sit another hour. My family is visiting for the holidays. After doing BBQs on the 4th of July, I plan to smoke a ham and slice it thin for lunch meats. The smaller bits will go into omelets or scalloped potatoes. Recently my grilling wasn't perfect. Mrs. Ark found a new chicken recipe. She halved the bird and marinated it for two hours. When she decided she wanted grilled veggies, I fired up the grill. Grilling vegetables isn’t really my strong suit. My plan was to grill the veggies first, then finish cooking them off-heat while putting the chicken on hot. Well, the grill ran too hot and charred one side of the veggies. They were tricky to move, so I left them until they cooked through. Then I placed the chicken on the high heat for two minutes per side before moving it to the cooler zone. After five more minutes, the internal temp hadn’t risen enough yet. Five more minutes passed; the meat was juicy but still not hot enough inside. Back onto the direct flame. Now my charcoal is dying down by the time the chicken finally reached temperature—and dried out a bit. Next time I should take it out of the fridge earlier to come up to room temp. Maybe grilling some burgers will restore my confidence in cooking. That actually gives me an idea: smoked hamburgers. Time to go search online.

> . Maybe grilling some burgers will restore my confidence in cooking. That actually gives me an idea: smoked hamburgers. Time to go search online. I suppose everything I grill gets a bit of smoke flavor anyway. I always toss wood chips into the charcoal, usually cherry. For Father’s Day, I did pork steaks over cherry and reverse-seared them. A few ears of corn went on during the searing phase. Mrs. G was very pleased with how they turned out. The steaks were generous enough that we shared one each, then last night she sliced up the second for salads, which she paired with fried corn. For her fries, she cuts kernels off the cob and drops them into a hot iron skillet with bacon grease. I’m never entirely sure of her exact spice routine, but it definitely involves seasoned salt, garlic powder, plus some other things shaken in randomly when we eat Mexican-style foods. People constantly ask what goes into dishes like her corn; her usual answer is simply, “whatever sounds good at the moment.” I probably weigh around 500lbs thanks to her cooking.

> . Maybe grilling some burgers will restore my confidence in cooking. That actually gives me an idea: smoked hamburgers. Time to go search online. I suppose everything I grill gets a bit of smoke flavor anyway. I always toss wood chips into the charcoal, usually cherry. For Father’s Day, I did pork steaks over cherry and reverse-seared them. A few ears of corn went on during the searing phase. Mrs. G was very pleased with how they turned out. The steaks were generous enough that we shared one each, then last night she sliced up the second for salads, which she paired with fried corn. For her fries, she cuts kernels off the cob and drops them into a hot iron skillet with bacon grease. I’m never entirely sure of her exact spice routine, but it definitely involves seasoned salt, garlic powder, plus some other things shaken in randomly when we eat Mexican-style foods. People constantly ask what goes into dishes like her corn; her usual answer is simply, “whatever sounds good at the moment.” I probably weigh around 500lbs thanks to her cooking.

> . Maybe grilling some burgers will restore my confidence in cooking. That actually gives me an idea: smoked hamburgers. Time to go search online. I suppose everything I grill gets a bit of smoke flavor anyway. I always toss wood chips into the charcoal, usually cherry. For Father’s Day, I did pork steaks over cherry and reverse-seared them. A few ears of corn went on during the searing phase. Mrs. G was very pleased with how they turned out. The steaks were generous enough that we shared one each, then last night she sliced up the second for salads, which she paired with fried corn. For her fries, she cuts kernels off the cob and drops them into a hot iron skillet with bacon grease. I’m never entirely sure of her exact spice routine, but it definitely involves seasoned salt, garlic powder, plus some other things shaken in randomly when we eat Mexican-style foods. People constantly ask what goes into dishes like her corn; her usual answer is simply, “whatever sounds good at the moment.” I probably weigh around 500lbs thanks to her cooking.

> ARK wrote: ↑Thu Jun 25, 2026 12:34 am > Mrs. Ark rule is if I try something new, I need to plan to eat earlier in case I screw it up and we still have time to go get something to eat. So far, I have not screwed up to toss the food and go out to eat. Some of my new recipes do not make it for a second try. I hate tossing food out. Even if something doesn't come out 'right' we still eat it. It has to be really bad for me to chuck it, which happens only very rarely. There have been some times when I say "Well, I'm never doing *that* again." Like the Dr. Pepper sausages...who the hell thought that was a good idea? And how many imbeciles had to agree with him to get the factory to make a production run? Got a half a pork loin the other day. I should smoke the whole thing, then carve it into chops, be easier than smoking the chops and risking drying them out.

Last night I made smoked meatloaf, three of them actually. I had bought a nearly 4lb 'family pack' of hamburger, costs less per lb than a small package. Usually I separate into ~1lb portions and freeze but didn't get around to it this time after using a lb in spaghetti sauce Wednesday night. I was going to make just a couple of burgers to go with my Saturday night beans (tradition) but it was starting to turn and I knew it wouldn't last. Once it starts going from red/pink I don’t like it- at one time my father had a pet crow and he would feed it old hamburger that had gone brown in the fridge and I got to really dislike the smell. This package was past it's prime but I didn’t want to throw it out and I figured that spicing it up and smoking it would be a way to salvage it. It worked, quite well. Kinder's "Butcher's Burger Blend" seasoning Worcestershire sauce Bread crumbs 2 jumbo eggs Fresh ground pepper and a pinch of salt in the eggs before whisking them up Got the smoker fired up with a little bit of charcoal, then built up the fire with oak and maple splits. Mixed up everything in a large SS bowl and formed into three approximately similar size loaves. Dusted the tops with paprika. In the smoker when it got up to 200*, at the far end away from the firebox, temp eventually got up near 300* at one point but that's OK. Took maybe a couple of hours to get the meat temp to 167*. Moved them near the firebox to get them a little crusty to finish them off. I ate one with my beans and put the other two in the fridge once they cooled a bit. Planning on having them tonight with some smashies and veggies. If Mrs. Twisted gets home early enough and I can find some ambition, maybe I'll make some potato leek soup instead of smashies.