my fresh existence within a female-led relationship

Hello everyone! About three weeks ago, I was attending to my wife, and for the first time in our marriage, I wanted nothing for myself. That evening, I shared with her how much I enjoy being denied as well as giving pleasure simply. I also mentioned some of my past experiences in MC prior to meeting her. Eighteen days back, I retrieved my old curve & cb3000 from their hiding spot, stripped naked, put on the cb3k, and walked into the living room with an unlocked lock secured by a pin and key. She stared at me as if I were mad, then smiled. We talked for a while about her curiosity regarding various issues, and she took hold of the key. Then came the most delightful sound I have ever heard. “Click”. With that moment, our lives shifted, bringing us closer intimacy than I’ve experienced before. Within a day, she told me she loved the security of having me locked up. By 48 hours in, I decided to “confess” about all my porn habits and masturbation. She was astonished by how much energy I had been spending on pleasing myself. And quite angry too. She threw out all my masturbation toys, every bit of my pornography, and even the lingerie I kept from before she arrived (though we both loved dressing up). I received some strict punishment as a result, with instructions to expect wearing the CD for at least a month. Getting rid of that cluttered porn collection and hiding away sex toys plus previous lovers’ lingerie was wonderful. It felt like lifting a heavy weight off my shoulders. Since then, we have restructured our marriage and daily lives. Previously, I acted as the dominant partner (albeit ineptly) because I am physically stronger and louder. However, this dynamic steered us toward ruin with lies, hiding things, resentment, and anger building up. As a boy, I always admired my mother’s strength and competence. I would do anything to please her and make her happy. Growing up, I desired that same feeling in a relationship. Yes, it sounds Oedipal, but Freud has some interesting insights regarding this. Through 25 years of dating, I consistently sought women with specific traits. Because I hadn’t fully surrendered my need to submit (it’s not very manly! Ha!), I ended up with many women who might be described as “bitchy”. When I met my current wife, I knew immediately she had a strong will and could lead. Our courtship was wonderful. But after marriage, I felt pressured to “be the man.” Consequently, our intimacy, communication, and sex life all declined somewhat overall—not great performance there. Once locked up, my wife noticed immediate changes in me. I became sweet like during dating days. More attentive, affectionate, and docile. I allowed her to take charge. After about a week, looking at her, I realized, “You’ve been the alpha all along; you just let me believe otherwise.” D’oh! Thus began our new FLR. She sets the rules, which I happily follow. She decides everything regarding our shared life, and I am blissfully content knowing WE are moving forward together. Never have I felt so accepted and loved. Our house is cleaner than ever now. Our home photo studio is operational. My wife entered the kitchen for the first time in 14 days this past weekend to prepare her famous mashed potatoes. Naturally, I peeled, boiled, and drained the potatoes for her. There is a balance here I’ve never known before. I am completely in love with my wife, owing it all to being brave enough to show her this world! Thank you all for listening! Grace’s wicked hubby.

Sometimes it just makes sense—it is as straightforward as that. Good luck, but remember you are on a journey and there will be some bumps along the road, perhaps more than you expected.

Society tells us that a conventional marriage involves a dominant male and submissive female. I believe it is more about two personalities joining to create mutual happiness, not strictly defined by sex. If both sides are content, then this becomes a good marriage. In gay marriages they seem to manage this well without peer pressure worrying them about being odd.

Thanks! It has been quite the journey. I never expected such intimacy and fulfillment! I have been lock for 19 days now, experiencing more satisfying sex than in the last 30 years without spilling a single drop of cum! I am learning new things about what I thought was my "same old wife". For a while she has seemed distant—playing on her phone, constantly online or texting. Our non-work business is growing so it made sense initially. Anyway, I sent her a long, heartfelt and respectful email explaining how that distance affected me. She said she had been wondering how long it would take to address this. Apparently, the 1194 days before MC involved quite a bit of me doing exactly that to her. She wanted to give me three or four days for myself to "open my eyes". I definitely won't be repeating that! She amazes me daily! About a week into this phase she told me she had been waiting for me to hand over control for some time now. She has never been in any kind of non-vanilla relationship before me. What is truly surprising is that because I hold many preconceptions while she holds none, I cannot even begin guessing what will happen next. Punishments are things I genuinely dislike! Except naturally more time in the CD hehe. Currently we plan a ceremony for July 4th weekend which marks 100 days. All hints suggest no chance of release before then and definitely no guarantee after either! We are formalizing our new FLR with both contract and ceremony. I can wait! Gwh

Funny. The "I can wait" phrase was originally a typo. Upon further reflection though I am in no hurry to pressure My Love for release so I will leave it as is.