Figuring out how long you stay in chastity

My wife and I have been talking about the length of time for my chastity. I offered her a window from one to thirty days, which she liked, but then added that she might feel it’s too long without sex.

Does anyone know other methods for determining how long someone stays locked up? We’re newbies here; even though she is starting to enjoy the experience, we’d love hearing any good strategies others use to set the duration of being in chastity…:D

Sarah Jameson recommends that she takes whatever period you assign her and adds half again. This would mean roughly 45 days for you. My advice is to keep it light during the initial few months while your body gets used to the device. However, if you want to spice things up, just let her have full control—100% of the time.

You can't go wrong either way. It really comes down to what works for each pair. Some folks here commit to year-long chastity marathons, while others only stay locked up for a few days at a time. We usually just wing it and let her call the shots—typically anywhere from five to ten days. I enjoy the anticipation and find that approach more enjoyable. Since everyone's different, do what suits you!

If I were your wife, I'd probably keep you locked up until you stopped calling me "the Wife." Personally, I prefer to have at least two to four weeks between releases. Often, before the scheduled release date arrives, we negotiate a new one. The last couple of times I was permitted an orgasm, it happened because my wife decided to overlook the set release date (which is her right), allowing me to come. -A

My wife thinks a period of one to fourteen days is sufficient, but if I stretch it out to around thirty days, that would be entirely up to her.... In any case, thank you for the suggestions. Has anyone here ever written down their rules before locking up so that both partners are clear on them from the start?

You can still have sex even while being denied. Melissa and I still enjoy intercourse but I am not allowed to orgasm. It's exquisitely frustrating to be thrusting inside her all the while trying desperately not to let go. She sometimes also will have me ruin my orgasm during those times too. I have to thrust until I'm right to the edge and then stop. I don't move but my cock releases inside her. She loves the feeling and I can continue but I am denied the pleasure of a true orgasm. Another way of thinking is to see that sex does not need to be cock-centered. Once your cock is out of the equation you'll be surprised how imaginative the two of you can be. Michael

Michael, Wife has started to use my tongue alot more during sex just lately and says she enjoys my tongue. My wife has also started to say that she will unlock me after I have satisfied her with my tongue, she then humps the cage, she unlocks it ans says great job but I am tired now night night, I find this so sexy, being so close to the target and yet so far away. After 2 years of trying to get her to lock my cock I am now in heaven... I agree that the number of days should be up to her and not me..

It was the day of reckoning today, thought that my Wife had forgotten but a text came through with "10 days" on it. 10 days of lockup for me then. Have to go she wants to lock the padlock shut!!!!

I thought my Wife wanted to unlock my cock today as she said she wanted to have sexy time. However when we got to bed she said he's in there for 10 days but I am not going without, with that she pushed my head down and had me get her off with my tongue. I think she is getting into this, it is great, whatever next...

I always like not to know, let her be in full in control, so she doesn't have to feel akward or guilty and I am in the dark and frustrated.......great!! chastehubby

Jan and I marked our longest period of denial yesterday - six weeks in total. It has been a wonderful experience for the most part. Before, our record was one month of chastity. I'm not locked up constantly; we rely mainly on trust. Cheating is possible but very hard to pull off. Like many others here, we're searching for the right device that suits us both. Jan hinted I might get a release tonight - phew! Since we live in the UK, you'll probably hear my cries from across the Atlantic! Interestingly, though, I have mixed feelings now; part of me wants to keep going with denial while another part craves release. This seems pretty typical for many. The toughest challenge for Jan these past six weeks has been learning how to stay firm and say NO. As for next time? We aren't sure yet. Jan plans to wait until after my current release to discuss it.

> Jan says I may get release tonight - Phew! We are in UK so you may hear the yells across the pond. > However, I now find I have mixed emotions about this - part of me wants to carry on with denial, part wants release. I think this is quite common. We are in North Wales, we'll put our ear plugs in....:D As to the mixed feelings... yeah I get that too.. I too think it is quite common, but you get over it!:D

My wife doesn't like the pressure of having to decide how long to deny me. We have been using dice. Get 2 regular dice. The first one is the number of days you get locked up. The second is the multiplier. You should probably be already locked up for this. You toss the first one. Thats the number of days you get locked up. Let's say it is a 4. Now you toss the second one. Thats the multiplier. Let's say it's a 2. 4 x 2 = 8 You're locked up for 8 days. Worst case scenario a guy could end up locked for 36 days if he rolled a 6 with both dice. Want longer? Then use 3 dice. Roll the first one. Thats your number of days. Now toss the last 2 dice together. There's your multiplier. Worse case would be 72 days if you rolled a 6 on the first one and then both 6's on the 2nd two dice. Total chance with no idea when you get out? Colored Beads Buy a bunch of plastic beads. You need 4 or 5 different colors. Our game: Blue bead = denied. No release. Put the bead back in the bag and add 2 more blue beads to the bag. Orange bead = release from cage and a full orgasm. Orange beads do not go back into the bag once removed. Green bead = slaves choice. Anything he wants. If he asks to be let out and have a nice orgasm, he agrees to be locked up again immediately after said orgasm takes place. Green bead goes back into the bag. Red bead = extreme punishment. Mistress can use any form of painful punishment she desires and slave must submit too it. Red bead goes back into bag. Yellow bead = Free Pass. Slave can hold and save. Can be used to trump a red bead. Can be used to take a 2nd draw after getting a blue bead. Slave holds yellow bead until it's used. Game starts with: 10 blue beads 3 orange beads 1 green bead 5 red beads 1 yellow bead Slave must draw a bead each day. If he gets a blue bead, he gets nothing. Put the bead back in the bag and add 2 more blue beads. Green beads, red beads and yellow beads are as outlined above. When he gets the first orange bead, he gets out. He gets an orgasm, but it's up to Mistress as to HOW he gets that orgasm. He gets 24hrs of freedom. Then locked up again. Put all the beads back in the bag - EXCEPT the orange one he just pulled out - game continues. When he gets the second orange bead, he gets out. He gets to cum. Take all blue beads out of the bag and count them. Divide by 20. He gets that many days of freedom. Then locked up again. Put all the beads back in the bag - EXCEPT the orange one he just pulled out - game continues. One last orange bead....... and a WHOLE LOT of blue beads in the bag now. When he draws the last orange bead, he gets out and he gets to cum. He has to put the cage back on immediately. Take the blue beads out of the bag. Count them all. Divide by 5. He has to remain in chastity for that many days before he can start over and draw a blue bead. Reset the bag: 10 blue 3 orange 5 red 1 green 1 yellow My wife and I worked this out together. I have not drawn an orange bead yet. It's been 16 days. By my count, there's at least 42 blue beads in there now. Odds are getting pretty damn slim that I'll ever get that first orange bead.:roll:

Last night Wife said she wanted me to use my tongue to get her off, she seemed to enjoy herself as I did my best to satisfy her. She now says that I have to wait and see if I get release on the 10th as she is happy for me to be locked up as long as she gets the use of my tongue.;) After 5 days my balls are starting to ache a little, not pain just an aching, she thinks this is good but we would both like to know is this normal after only 5 days?:roll:

It's called blue balls, and yes, it's normal. Happens to me after about 7 days of relentless teasing.

I have stated to my Wife that after the ten day period it is up to her if she wishes to release me or leave the cage on, she sais that she liked the sound of being in control. I also like the not knowing when I am to be released, love the sound of the dice game above, will have to give that one a try next time.

For the first few months of our involvement in male chastity, Mrs Haversackers would roll the dice and we'd go with the period of denial that a little formula gave us. However, as she really got into keeping me chaste, the dice game lost its appeal. Now, I'm locked and kept chaste and horny for whatever period of time suits her. She seldom has a date in mind, but rather decides on the spur of the moment. She almost let me come a couple of evening ago, then decided to have me keep it bottled up a while longer. I'm not sure which I prefer. Having a date gave me something to anticipate, but my preference doesn't count. It's only been a bit more than three weeks since my last orgasm, so I'm not too wound up about it yet.

Wife text me last night to say get ready to be unlocked, when I got to bed there was a set of pink pajamas with a note "wear these as you have a locked up cock, you might as well look like a girl". When she got to bed she looked and me and just smirked. She used my tongue and stripped me, she then unlocked my cock, I thought "yes tonight is going to be fun". She went to the toilet, got back in bed and said "not tonight for you dear" but you are released. My wife is becoming quite a tease, and I love it.....

Wife has come up with an idea, put paper pieces in a hat with numbers from 1 to?? ( she says that is up to her ). I have to pick out a number and that is the number of days with no cumming. I have said that sounds OK and she is going to prepare ready for tomorrow pm....

> member_05cddc2364 wrote:You can still have sex even while being denied. > Melissa and I still enjoy intercourse but I am not allowed to orgasm. It's exquisitely frustrating to be thrusting inside her all the while trying desperately not to let go. She sometimes also will have me ruin my orgasm during those times too. I have to thrust until I'm right to the edge and then stop. I don't move but my cock releases inside her. She loves the feeling and I can continue but I am denied the pleasure of a true orgasm. > Another way of thinking is to see that sex does not need to be cock-centered. Once your cock is out of the equation you'll be surprised how imaginative the two of you can be. > Michael That's exactly what I do with my hubby too. I let him out quite regularly but he is still not allowed to cum, I lock him up again when I am completely satisfied. He's getting quite good at holding it, especially with the help of a safe word and some china brush:D

I like the dice system. At times I have used it to determine my sentance. Being sincle and a self-locker, I an thinking of using the dice to determine the MAX locking time and then use CarliLock to fine tune and make me honest.

We've eased ourselves into chastity slowly, extending the periods between my orgasms and regularly do 4 - 6 week stints. I think we've both enjoyed it because we've kept it light-hearted and fun and we both find the idea of my wife having control of my orgasm really hot! So we've just started on a six month journey, so no orgasm until Christmas and then lots between Christmas and New Year, I've been promised! I've no idea how it will go but the thought of really long term denial is very exciting for both of us. We've toyed with the idea of so many orgasms per year or 'an as and when but not too often' basis. But in the end we both found the idea of setting a date the hottest!

I've been thinking of making hubby go for the rest of the year, that's some good inspiration thanks!:)

> member_7ddf8768dd wrote:I've been thinking of making hubby go for the rest of the year, that's some good inspiration thanks!:) I hope my wife reads this. -A

> Atone wrote: > > member_7ddf8768dd wrote:I've been thinking of making hubby go for the rest of the year, that's some good inspiration thanks!:) > I hope my wife reads this. > -A I hope my wife doesn't read this:D I couldn't go that long I am sure. Mind you if CQ says... I get zero choice

I've been giving some thought to how long I'll be locking my hubby up for this time. I've been thinking about dice or posting the key amongst other ideas. I posted a few thoughts on my blog, whichever I choose I know it will be long for him this time.;)

I like to pleasure Mistress in other ways so that She doesn't feel the need to unlock me. Mistress usually achieves multiple orgasms when I use my tongue or a dildo, which is much more than I can do by sex alone. That way I don't experience any "sub drop" and I'm eager and keen to serve Her whenever She wants. If Mistress does let me cum then I feel I have not done my job properly. So, in short, the answer to your question, as far as I'm concerned, is the longer the better. Lowly slave

I wish I had someone to decide my chastity. I have been forced to join Carlilock as my key holder. Please vote vote for me at: ... 1317078510 Thanks to all who participate. Paul

please vote for me on carlilock: ... ked4ever78 thanks

I just get told both ways but I've always liked the idea of a 'Joker' element to the play. Pick a favourite old song or phrase ( e.g. Chastity Belt) that you both know. The next time you are both together and the song is played or the phrase is said by somebody else then the pinion (my favourite so far from the Chastity Lexicon thread) gets locked up as soon as possible for an hour for every minute past the hour. This gives a maximum of 5 days but it could happen at a truly inconvienient time or interfere with an agreed release period.

There's a new one, fresh online today: It has a few advantages over carlilock, which I have used as well - carlilock is geared to getting you in as long as possible - for the maximum time you entered, or forever if you entered none. Every random time is geared to getting you in longer on average. Also, for subsequent sessions it requires you to get others signed up as well, it's almost a pyramid game. And, with ChasityLocked, you can verify you're still locked up - to yourself, your key holder, or to the world.

My wife and I have a fun game as of late. We take five dice and she roles them. The shortest time I could be cgaed is 5 days and the longest a month. So far since we started deciding this way, I've been locked 17, 17, and 20 days in a row. Start of slow, say 2 or three dice if you are new to chastity.

Me and the Wife have been away from the lifestyle for a while as she has been pregnant. Now having given birth a few months ago, I asked if I could have sexy time she just said "Oh lock it away". For how long was not mentioned, should I do as she says?

> member_f5b9d861e1 wrote:Me and the Wife have been away from the lifestyle for a while as she has been pregnant. > Now having given birth a few months ago, I asked if I could have sexy time she just said "Oh lock it away". For how long was not mentioned, should I do as she says? Only you can answer that question dude...

> member_f5b9d861e1 wrote:Me and the Wife have been away from the lifestyle for a while as she has been pregnant. > Now having given birth a few months ago, I asked if I could have sexy time she just said "Oh lock it away". For how long was not mentioned, should I do as she says? It depends on you and your individual sexual control dynamic. Personally, if my hub had *insisted * on "sexy time" at *any* time, let alone after the horrors of childbirth, he could expect to be locked away until I damn well pleased to let him out - which could be some time.

I have asked her how long does she think it should be locked up for. She said "6 months sound good for a start". Now I have to decide, do I lock up or not?

I wouldn't do it. Successful chastity play, IMO, needs much involvement from the KH's side, which she probably will not be able to provide for now. I'd even guess she made the six month comment to discourage you from playing at all at this time. Put the sexy games on the backburner for the time being, but remind her (GENTLY!) every now and then that there is still a red-blooded man at her side who also needs at least some little part of her attention, especially when he's doing his share of taking care for the baby. Abstaining from the erotic side of a relationship for too long after childbirth can be a recipe for disaster later on. K

In order to live up to your screen name you need to lock up. 6 months for a start seems pretty long for having not been locked up for a while. I would suggest that you negotiate something with your wife that works for both of you. Not knowing your situation it is hard to offer a suggestion but I will try anyway:) A couple of assumptions first. Your wife is not interested in sex right now. Your wife is not interested in teasing you either. Your wife doesn't want to be pestered about being let out or teased. You want to be locked up and denied for at least some period of time. I would start with something along the lines of - I will agree not to ask for sex or teasing for six months. I will be allowed out for self masturbation once a month (change this to what would work for you). I will lock back up immediately when I am done. I will remain locked up at all other times. This is pretty regimented and may not meet either of your needs but it is a start. The pattern is fairly straightforward though. Figure out your needs. Figure out your wife's needs. Negotiate a way to satisfy both.

I think Atone's suggestion is a good one. Maybe give that a try!?

The wife and I decided to take chastity release out of our own hands, so to speak. A set of 30-sided dice we ordered arrived in the mail yesterday (Saturday) and we decided that except for cleanings and me changing devices when going to work, we'd roll the dice, add together the result from each and that's how long we'd be locked up with no release. I rolled a 23 and my wife rolled a 10 for our first time trying this.

> member_f5b9d861e1 wrote:I have asked her how long does she think it should be locked up for. She said "6 months sound good for a start". > Now I have to decide, do I lock up or not? It could be a bluff, or a tease if you like but either way she's playing the game that you 'took a couple of years to get her into' while you're vacillating over whether to join in!! And so what if it turns out to be the full 6? If it goes like our 2nd child, you won't be missing much anyway and you'll be on a voyage of self-discovery instead of forever wondering what might have been.

I do think this thread has taken a bit of a bizarre turn. Poor makes an excellent point - surely after spending a lengthy amount of time waiting for your wife to take up chastity, you should be punching the air with joy and jamming your cage on with delight now she has suggested you lock up? Everyone's chastity dymanic is different ofcourse but an overwhelming theme is the handing over of control to your spouse. This doesn't really square with you rubbing your chin and wondering if you should lock up at all. If you dont want to hand over control, then don't. But then you shouldn't be at all surprised when she has lost all interest in the game when you next bring it up. On the other hand, chastity is **not** celibacy and a policy of "lock and leave alone" won't work either so might I suggest, with all due respect, you stop pondering whether to lock up or not on this forum and have a decent and realistic conversation with your wife about it. As Atone says, a 6 months initial lock up is unrealistic - this is great place to get real answers to real chastity related issues but whether to lock or not? Well, don't join a choir and vacillate about whether to sing.........

> member_34553b26f0 wrote:... and have a decent and realistic conversation with your wife about it. Maybe it is her unwillingness to deal with the matter at the moment that made her make that particular 6-month statement. Given the emotional turmoil and the stresses of early motherhood, I wouldn't be surprised if she declined to talk about "it" at all right now. K

Alright everyone, I'm securely locked in and enjoying it right now. My wife is looking for suggestions on how to set the duration of my lockup period. Does anyone have any good methods they've used before?

We frequently find ourselves drifting week by week without a firm decision. She might remark, "Oh, surely you can handle a few more days," and before we know it, another week has passed. In this way, what starts as a couple of weeks can stretch into several months.

You could roll dice, using the result to determine days, weeks, or months. You can also use a standard deck of cards, assigning values to face cards similarly and including wild cards if desired. Both approaches allow for multipliers; just let your imagination run free. Another idea: decide on the minimum and maximum ranges you both prefer, write the corresponding numbers on small slips of paper, and place them in an empty coffee tin or similar container. Then (without looking), either you or she can pick one out to determine how long the lockup lasts. Or, try this:

One of the best methods I've come across is the marble game. Imagine a bowl containing two colors of marbles, such as blue and white, with four blue marbles for every one white marble (a 20% chance of drawing white). On days when your KH is undecided or wishes to avoid the stress of deciding whether you'll receive an orgasm, she has you draw a marble. Blue means no orgasm; white means you get one in whatever way she chooses. You both agree beforehand that the marble's verdict is final, with no whining allowed. This approach puts Lady Luck in control over your duration, so you never quite know how long it will last. Plus, once the marble is drawn, your KH can relax and enjoy your attention while focusing on her own pleasure without worrying about when the lockup ends.

My wife has decided there will be no fixed end date for my lockup. She really enjoyed the attention I gave her last night and loved rubbing up and down against the cage while asking me how it feels to be that close yet unable to get off, a sly smile on her face. Well, it might go on for quite some time; the saying "Be careful what you wish for" comes to mind. I have my wish, and it's great right now, though I'm not sure how I'll feel in about six months.

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> member_7f5b971d37 wrote: One of the best methods I've come across is the marble game. Imagine a bowl containing two colors of marbles, such as blue and white, with four blue marbles for every one white marble (a 20% chance of drawing white). On days when your KH is undecided or wishes to avoid the stress of deciding whether you'll receive an orgasm, she has you draw a marble. Blue means no orgasm; white means you get one in whatever way she chooses. You both agree beforehand that the marble's verdict is final, with no whining allowed. This approach puts Lady Luck in control over your duration, so you never quite know how long it will last. Plus, once the marble is drawn, your KH can relax and enjoy your attention while focusing on her own pleasure without worrying about when the lockup ends. This sounds very much like the game my wife and I play. We have a bag filled with blue and white marbles (typically 10 blue to one white). Mathematically, this setup suggests you'll likely pick a white marble around the fifth draw. Whenever we feel frisky, I blindly grab a marble from the bag. She sees it (but I don't), and then we continue having sex. Since she usually orgasms before me anyway, we keep going until I'm ready to burst. When I whisper "I'm going to cum," she signals whether I get permission or not. We've gone as far as drawing seven blue marbles in a row. The first time this happened, I was actually leaking semen while flaccid at work before finally pulling the white marble. In our two most recent rounds prior to that one, I picked the white marble on my very first draw. I'm not sure what the exact odds are, but it seems quite rare. In the most recent instance (where we only drew the first marble), I ended up with a blue one. We now have 13 blue marbles and just one left in the bag. It's been very hot for me lately because of my commitment to orgasm denial. However, since we've been trying for a baby for a while, we stop playing games during that period, making our sex life more businesslike. I've noticed that whenever I ask "Shall we play the marble game?" she instantly gets wetter. Interestingly, she becomes soaking wet regardless of whether the drawn marble is blue or white.