Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

I’ve spent the last couple of months showing my wife how chastity and domestic discipline work. She isn’t someone who browses these kinds of sites on her own, so she doesn’t always know what is pure fantasy versus reality. With that in mind, I gave her links to various websites along with copies of solid articles. I’ve also taught her what teases me the most and why it’s important for her to be strict; my nature is to exploit any weakness I see.

Regarding domestic discipline, she started off afraid of hurting me. She was quite freaked out when she first saw the bruises she left on my skin. Eventually, she realized that no permanent damage was being done and even began to get aroused by it. I bought her a crop, flogger, and paddle so she could practice each one, learning how hard to strike and what kind of marks they produced. She became quite skilled at it. Then she started enjoying the process itself and getting turned on by it. Luckily, though, she only enjoys it as genuine punishment rather than just for fun. In the past, when she was upset, she would hold everything in, and I often didn’t even realize what was happening. Now she can let it all out at once, but not immediately after anger strikes; she waits a day or two before delivering her non-sexual punishments.

I used the same method to train my previous Mistresses. I haven’t met many amateur women who know much about BDSM or chastity—perhaps I hung around with the wrong crowd. However, they were all eager to learn and did so willingly. Of course, this involved topping from the bottom initially; someone had to teach them and expose them to their options and how to execute them properly. It was a lot of fun for everyone as we experimented with things I usually wouldn’t try unless my partner wanted to. Through this process, I discovered that it wasn’t so much what happened to me personally, but rather that I got aroused watching my partner/Mistress get excited by her actions toward me. When she feels ready, I surrender completely and stop topping from the bottom; I accept whatever she gives.

I should emphasize that I always—repeat, always—only train with intelligent women who have no mental or emotional issues. I trust them with my life because my limits are minor and don’t require medical attention. For anything else, they can handle it. It’s hard to list everything that has been done to me; the list would be long enough to sound like fantasy since guys often fantasize about these things. What I can say is that finding a woman open to trying new sexual experiences is easier than finding one already trained in your specific fetish or kink. This approach has worked repeatedly for me, and it’s what I recommend to others looking for a play partner.

Back to the present: My wife was given more freedom this week, and she now feels comfortable as keyholder and head of household. She remains more submissive than dominant, which is fine because I don’t want to be her slave. She asks me to do a few things daily but does so politely, just like anyone else would. Before this shift, she refused to ask for anything directly, expecting that I automatically wanted to perform whatever task was needed. This stems from her upbringing. Now, she is more at ease asking—and sometimes telling—me what to do without it feeling burdensome; these are tasks I enjoy anyway. I don’t act subservient to her, and she doesn’t want me to. As noted earlier, she doesn’t paddle my bottom just for amusement but only if I repeatedly forget a task, specifically after the last warning paddle when I still haven’t completed my assigned chores.

Previously, the longest denial of orgasm lasted 10 days, with sex twice weekly being normal. She struggled to deny me when I was moaning and begging for release. Today—well, yesterday now—my wife denied our usual Saturday night orgasm by making me watch her pleasure herself using her favorite vibrator. It was intense for her. Afterward, she simply told me to re-lock myself because the CB6000 had slipped off due to her enthusiastic ball-squeezing. I’m still sore from that experience.

Then came the bad news: She explained that she now understands when I say I want to cum, I really mean it—I truly desire denial regardless of how hard I beg. She realizes she pleases me more by denying than allowing an orgasm. She’s finally grasped this concept and told me I might need to wait a month for my release. However, she added that we will have sex tomorrow, and perhaps allow one final orgasm before attempting the full month.

Honestly, I’m unsure if I’d prefer a whole month without climaxing. Unlike some men, long-term denial doesn’t inherently arouse me; instead, it brings teasing and frustration over about a week. A month feels too lengthy for someone accustomed to orgasming once or twice daily. My previous 10-day stint pushed my limits but showed that excessive teasing leads to losing interest in sex altogether. I found myself avoiding arousal to prevent frustration. When release finally came, the orgasm wasn’t particularly great—far from the intense experiences people often describe. I had better ones after just a few days of chastity. Ultimately, what we do depends on mutual satisfaction. I would endure a month if my wife truly wants it. I don’t want her to feel pressured into denying me simply because I prefer that way. I want her to let me climax only when she desires, knowing that doing so means enduring my grumpiness for a few days afterward as I gradually return to baseline.

The student has become the master; I am no longer topping from the bottom. She has been introduced to various methods of T&D (Task & Discipline) and chastity, alongside domestic discipline and wife-led marriage dynamics. It is now her decision regarding our direction. While this might not be a post designed to arouse readers directly, it reflects real life experiences from someone who actually practices what he writes about. As I often say, in reality, people have to urinate sometimes—meaning there are practical realities we must manage. When someone claims they were tied up for an entire day without mentioning peeing, that raises a red flag for me, hence the expression: “in real life, people need to pee.”

As usual, my post is lengthy, but if you’ve read this far, you’ll gain insight into a genuine wife-led marriage incorporating T&D and chastity play. Remember that we step in and out of our respective roles, enjoying periods of normalcy. Sitting here now, locked up again with sore testicles from being squeezed and pushed through my CB6000 without any spacer at all. That small gap causes significant pain. I hope someone has learned something from my journey. At the very least, it offers hope and advice for finding a woman willing to explore fetishes together while teaching her your knowledge and directing her toward realistic resources rather than pure fantasy. Always remember that you can have Chastity, T&D, and female-led dynamics without domination. In fact, I suggest starting with pure fetish elements and adding complexity over time. Doing too much at once tends to scare off potential partners.

> SteveM said: > In the past the longest she has denied me an orgasm was 10 days but the norm was usually sex twice a week. She still had a hard time denying me when I was moaning and groaning and begging for release. Today, well yesterday now, my wife denied me my usual Saturday night orgasm as she made me watch her have hers using her favorite vibrator. It was intense for her. When it was over she simply told me to lock myself back up as my CB6000 slipped off due to her enthusiastic ball squeezing. I am still sore from that.:) Then she hit me with the bad news. She said that she now understands that when I say I want to cum I really want her to deny me no matter how hard I beg. She understands that she is pleasing me more by denying me than when she lets me have an orgasm. She finally gets it so now she told me that I might have to wait a month for my orgasm. However, she also told me that we will have sex tomorrow and maybe she will let me have a final one before we tried for a full month. > . > Click to expand... I feel your pain. Prior to December I would cum at least once or twice a day, usually from masturbation. The longest I had been denied orgasm was a day or two. This December I went 10 days and was going insane by the end. Now I'm at 21 days into a 30 day denial. I seem to suffer at 10 day intervals? Around 7-10 days was bad, then my desire seemed to subside. Now the desire to orgasm again is driving me wild. Yesterday, I asked if I could have an early release next weekend since 30 days is the 28th. She told me she'd think about it which means NO. She then followed up with "what are you going to do if you get another 30 days?" She seems to have embraced my chastity/orgasm denial which isn't a surprise since she has denied me fucking her pussy except for two times a year for some time now. Prior to my 30 days of denial, I desired / fantasized about being denied between being allowed into my wife's pussy. Now I'm regretting it. Unfortunately from past experience ( being denied my wife's pussy) my chastity situation isn't going to change now that my wife has embraced it. If you do go 30 days, I wish you the best since it's been more difficult than I would have imagined.

Hi steve i think i may have a wife with this "metal problem" you mentioned.....I should note that I always, repeat, always only train and play with intelligent women with no metal or emotional problems. My wife seems to use her metal problem to her advantage frequently by locking me in the very substance. lol

Good to know that others share my pain. My wife has started making me sleep with my CB6000 on again. Today she told me that she was disappointed in me because she saw that impinged out on donuts late last night because I worked until 3am and lost track of how many I ate. We were supposed to have sex today, probably just teasing but now I do not know. All she said was that because of what I did, I will have to wait longer than she had in mind whatever that means. At least due will unlock me for my doctor visit Tuesday.

> SteveM said: > At least due will unlock me for my doctor visit Tuesday. > Click to expand... you hope. lol