Journals and blogs discussion

After gathering the courage to bring up Chastity with my wife, I was pleasantly surprised when she said yes. I bought an affordable device that feels comfortable and does the job well enough until we can invest in something higher quality. The first few days have been intense; I’m constantly horny, particularly at night while lying next to her. Now that I’m beside her, it reminds me of our early dating days—I want to be inside her all the time but just can’t. That’s my tale so far. If you haven’t asked your partner to lock you up yet, DO IT. You might not get another orgasm for a while, but it’s a small price to pay. Peter

This is such fun. I love the thrill of being so close yet kept at arm's length!

I'm just beginning my journey and can't imagine what it'll be like after two months, but I can hardly wait. Let time fly by; that's my motto. I just realized I'm typing this while gently swinging my knees in and out because the pressure of the cage against my cock feels so good. I'd better stop or I might have an accident. Time for a walk, I think. Peter

Be careful what you wish for. I didn't expect all the accompanying changes that came with it at the time. Hope things go well for you as they have for others. Enjoy.

> OwnedbyLeeanne said: > I am just starting my journey and cant image what it would be like after 2 months, but I cant wait..... > Click to expand... Oh, you take me down memory lane:-) Introduced chastity over a year ago. I initially thought it was all about me and kinky sex, plus I somehow expected my wife to become constantly horny alongside me (LOL). Well, I quickly discovered that it is actually all about her, and I loved being denied for longer periods. Over time, her libido has indeed increased significantly! - but on her terms, and she is more or less the only one getting... I've had approximately 10 releases in total since April last year, mostly within those first two months. Currently, I am on a diet (LOL)!- and won't know when the next release will come. We are approaching 60 days now; for quite some time, my release has become "less important." I am totally focused on serving her and giving her satisfaction. You might like to read this archived discussion thread: The archived discussion Here is a small sample from that post: *"Day 21 after release and beyond - I am settled in complete submissiveness, starting to look back at the roller coaster ride a release will inflict on me, along with the hassle it gives my wife, ending up concluding that for her benefit (and indeed mankind's), I could just as well be kept from release forever. Really, why go through all that if you are feeling so good and being so service-minded once You reach this level?"* I often wondered in the beginning whether my emotional behavior was like others' or if something was "wrong" with me. The conclusion seems to be: "You never walk alone," but read for yourself... So, wishing for 2 months might sound impossible, but you'll likely discover that the hardest part happened much earlier... Good lock (LOL)!

How is your wife liking it?

I thought she was quite vanilla initially, but she seems to be getting the hang of it slowly. She is normally submissive by nature, and I am trying to flip that dynamic around. However, she hasn't yet realized that she holds the key. I gave her some reading material yesterday to open her eyes to the topic, so far so good. For now, I behave pretty much like normal, but each day she pushes things a little further. She still thinks she needs to ask rather than command. It's early days yet, but looking promising.;-)

Truly, my wife enjoys chastising me when our lives and schedules are too hectic for sex. No really. So since she is the busier one, it makes sense for me to support her, help with the house, etc., and be teased by circumstance, looking forward to when she unlocks me... which means... sex and romance!

Last night my wife teased me while I was still in the cage. The pain in my balls became unbearable as she teased, with my cock straining against the device. Eventually, she felt sorry for me and decided to let me out, allowing me to have sex and cum inside her. It was amazing, and afterward, I didn't go back into the cage; we just went to sleep. The next morning, as we lay in bed, she asked me to do something for her. I said "NO" with a little laugh. She replied that the Mistress wants you to do this, so I said, "NO. You have lost your power; I am not in my cage." I did this to help my Mistress learn that her authority comes only when I am caged. It also helps if I am incredibly horny. I think she is getting the message, and I told her that when she returns in a few hours, she can put me back into the cage. It was also a lesson for her: perhaps she should restrain my hands next time she lets me out so she can get me back in without issues. It will be interesting to see what happens during this next lockup period, which is set at two weeks. I know I am being naughty, but it's fun watching the realization dawn on my Mistress's head as the pieces of the game click into place.

...a lesson for 'Mistress'; do be cautious, dear little thing owned by Leeann; do be careful!

> BlueEyes said: > So - you wish for 2 months- may sound as and impossible task,- but you will most likely discover that the hardest part was much earlier... > Click to expand... Two months, yes indeed. I didn't explicitly wish for it... I guess I'm resigned to it now...

The lights are definitely going on in my Mistress's head. She is realizing that I will do things for her when she asks, even if they are tasks she knows I wouldn't normally perform for her. She asked me in the middle of a TV show to come and watch TV with her. I said No, and she insisted: "The Mistress wants you to watch TV with her." I got up and sat down next to her, then she told me I could go back because she just wanted to see if I would do it. It is getting very interesting!:)

@OwnedbyLeeanne There is a specific word for what you are doing. If your Mistress needs any suggestions, tell her to pm me.

Mistress B, What would that be?

I'm certainly no Mistress myself, but... I'd guess at a combination of: A. Running with scissors B. Topping from the bottom C. Playing with fire D. Teaching her this type of play is becoming a "chore" for her E. Not seeming to try to find out what's in it for her F. Making the situation potentially adversarial and G. Sorry, there *is* no G.

Yes, I can see the issues, but in my defense, I am talking to her about everything I am doing. Even telling her that what I'm doing is frowned upon and is as you say "Topping from the Bottom". She seems to be enjoying it a lot and has even started saying she's going to buy a whip to punish me with. We are both still at the stage where whenever she tries to give me directions as my Mistress, she starts laughing. The more she demands, the funnier we find it. I don't think this is bad for now; I believe she is also testing me to see how I react. So far, we are both having fun with it, but I suspect that over the next week or two, things will start settling into a more permanent pattern. I would be interested to hear from others who started when their partner was so-called vanilla and new to this. Did you find it humorous at first? If so, when did things get serious?

...glad to hear of the back-and-forth play; keep it fun!

Well, it has now been three weeks since we started chastity, and I have settled into wearing the device with little discomfort. The only time I get pain is when my wife teases me at night; I get so hard that the burning from the ring becomes unbearable, and she feels sorry for me and lets me out. This isn't what I want her to do, but the pain tells me to get the "Fucking thing off" before something bad happens. I would like to know what other Mistress/Keyholders do when this happens to their partner.

Well, I had two ring sizes. The smaller ring caused that same issue for me as well. After a break-in period, I was eventually able to drop down to the smaller size ring. Unless I am being teased and need to pee at the same time, I don't normally have this problem anymore. Believe me, if she starts teasing me, I head straight off to pee just in case. Otherwise, you get full bladder pressure which completely blocks deflation and is painful as hell.

Yes, this sounds exactly like my problem. I am using a 40mm ring and it seems the right size-wise; however, I have a larger ring as well. One night I slipped out of the whole thing without even trying, so I went back to the smaller one.

@OwnedbyLeeanne Reading between the lines, I assume you have a plastic device. Try metal.

I would not trade my Jailbird for anything plastic. It is comfortable, easy to clean, and just plain feels good on me. Like a second skin. And I too have found myself loving chastity. It is definitely another level and so far a wonderful adventure. I have a feeling this will be a permanent lifestyle change for me, though I do want the chance to have an orgasm every so often so I don't forget what it felt like. LOL

Mistress B I am using a Chinese device that is metal. It is pretty comfortable and I can generally forget it is on while sleeping, unless I get aroused, in which case...

Well, I was released today for my hygiene ritual but not before some good old-fashioned teasing. I behaved well and put the device back on before presenting myself to my Mistress so she could have the pleasure of clicking the lock shut. So no orgasm for me over the last two weeks. Now that I am locked up again, I feel a bit sore; I suspect it may be the infamous "Blue Balls" and hope it passes soon. I find it interesting that even though I was teased before being unlocked, I didn't have the urge to masturbate during my shower. I was alone and could have easily done so, but I just didn't feel like it. Instead, I cleaned myself up and fitted the device again. Is this typical behavior even after only a few weeks of Chastity? I feel like I would be cheating if I denied my Mistress the pleasure of teasing me and deciding when I would orgasm. My Mistress also seems to be getting more into the role each day, and I think if we did not have children at home, I would be in a lot of trouble. Anyway, I am off to adjust my underwear again to see if I can relieve this ache.

One day we will get a metal device; it's just the fear of getting the sizing wrong.

Nothing more unpleasant than a nut trying to act like a mouse squeezing under the kitchen door...

I am waiting for a new Chinese device to arrive. It will be interesting because it looks like a copy of the Looker 02. I can't afford the real thing, so this will have to do for now. It may be worth your while to take a look if you want to try metal.

Sorry, I'm quite happy to support MM; good ol' made in America.

@OwnedbyLeeanne Don't worry about the price tag. If it works, don't fix it. Look at the number of high-priced devices for sale on CM. You both seem to be getting into the swing of things and are definitely in the right headspace. So maybe just ease up and let your lovely wife get used to it all so that it becomes a long-term lifestyle choice rather than a "a few weeks, well done that now what shall we do" thing. It's not a race or competition. Xx Wendy

Well, for the FIRST time in some 30 years of marriage, my wife has said that she would like to go out and buy some sexy underwear. In the past, she never really showed any interest, and I have always been the one to buy those things. I think she is having fun with this and has now realized that she can arouse me just by wearing nice underwear to bed; then she can tease me etc. as she likes. I am probably making my wife sound boring, but she has always been very vanilla and never indicated that she wanted anything different. In fact, she still refers to me as a Sex maniac as though this is something bad. So the bottom line is: I should have done this 20 years ago. I don't know why we men find it so hard to figure women out; Fuck 30 years:(

Well if women let men sort out why and what and how they would have no fun. Or is it that men are not as clever as women thus reinforcing the view that the female is the superior gender? A view that most on CM I guess support.:() Xx Wendy

@Wendygirl, it's not about who's right or wrong. It's called "happy wife, happy life" LOL.

And you have two options... Be "Right" or "Be Happy". LOL

The only thing my wife is NEVER WRONG about is WHEN and HOW I get released from my cage. And with that ability comes great power. I am starting to think that ALL Men should be locked up (In a CB, that is) when they get married. It should be part of the ceremony for the groom to hand over the key to his new wife. The question then would be: how many men would make it to their 1st anniversary?

Well, I am still locked up and have only had release for cleaning and a mishap with some hair removal (Ouch!) cream. It seems as if my urge has diminished, and I am more settled into the process. My wife is not releasing me from the cage for T&D, so the only time I get an erection is when I cuddle up to her at night. I don't even seem to wake as much with nighttime erections now. Maybe it's the female in me saying she doesn't need this thing anymore and needs to forget about it once and for all.

Well, I ended up getting another Chinese device with a 40mm ring, the same as I was using on the first one. However, due to the fact that the new device has a much smaller gap, the 40mm ring caused quite a few issues and I couldn't wear it. I have now received a 45 mm ring to try out so we will see how it goes. Unfortunately, that will have to wait while a small pressure sore heals on the side of my scrotum. It seems this was caused by switching from Silicon lube (which I used on the ring) to Baby Oil. The Baby oil gets absorbed and doesn't last all day, whereas the Silicon lube does. So it seems wearing a Chastity device turns into one long science experiment where you test new devices and methods on your own most sensitive parts in an effort to find the ultimate combination. Failure will result in unspeakable pain and suffering mixed with the exquisite delight of scratching those itchy, sore balls which only results in them being more itchy and sore again. Oh! What fun. "Please Sir can I have some more".

@OwnedbyLeeanne when you say that you has erection when cuddling ain't you in your cage then? When i am cuddling I gets a lump come where the ring is but my pee pee stops small in the cage.

Jemima, Yes wearing a cage; however it has some room to grow so I have just switched to a much shorter device so we will see what happens now. May I ask what device Mistress has locked you into?

@OwnedbyLeeanne well i thinks that you will be lots more comfy in a little cage cos they don't hurt when you getting excited. Mistress got me one from dhgate that called a supersmall one and has a tube thingy in it..

> OwnedbyLeeanne said: > Well it has now been 3 weeks since we started chastity and I have now settled into wearing the device with little discomfort. > The only time I get pain is when my wife teases me of a night, I get so hard the burning pain from the ring becomes > unbearable and she has felt sorry and let me out. > This is not what I want her to do but the pain is telling me to get the "Fucking thing off" before something bad happens. > I would like to know what the other Mistress/Keyholders do when this happens to their partner. > Click to expand... The issue is probably the shape of the ring. What are you locked in?

> Giles_English said: > The issue is probably the shape of the ring. What are you locked in? > Click to expand... Well I have just changed to another Chinese device with a shorter cage and have also gone to a larger ring. This seems much more comfortable however the ring might need to go down a size; I went from 40 mm to 45mm. The one I have is like this. newest-small-male-stainless-steel-bondage.jpg

this sissy is so impressed with these devices. it's almost as if they were designed by a very devious Lady, something this sissy fantasizes about!

i think that they am made by a Lady cos it was a Lady that answer Mistress email bout my one. oooh @OwnedbyLeeanne when Mistress seen your one She called it the pepperpot, giggle.

Well I have now been locked in a different Chinese device for about 6 weeks straight and I have now got it all worked out. After replacing the small rubber tube that comes with the device with a full piece of silicon tube I am able to wear it day and night in complete comfort. I have established that it is best to squirt some baby oil over the ring after getting out of the shower and also during the day if possible, this allows the silicon to move around without sticking and causing soreness. I find I can now sleep through the night without issues and can not even notice it in most positions in bed. The sad thing is that now I have no reason to need to take it off my wife/mistress is content to leave me locked without any indication of when I may get release. This has resulted in my sex drive reducing and I just don't seem to want it as much as I did in the beginning. And even though I can and have pulled out of the back with the idea of masturbation after a few strokes I have lost interest and then put it back into the device. Not sure what this means yet but would like to know if others have reached this type of plateau. [Image: cage1.jpg]

yes @OwnedbyLeeanne i never does that no more.

I have yet to find a definitive explanation as to why this happens. I was advised that if I wanted to explore my girly feelings I should abstain from climaxing. I did and oh girl did I ever conect with my feminine self.. How does chastity if done long enough have the same effect as being on anti androgen drugs?????? However my advice now you have got to this point enjoy ......... Her.........Xx xx Wendy

I would dearly love to go to a belt so that I could not touch myself at all and could only lok don on smooth metal. Oh well one day maybe.

I think more likely as you don't want to even see your boy bits, you will be looking towards your local gender clinic . Even if it's just to talk to them and get some of your thoughts in order. Xx Wendy

@Wendygirl I wish I could follow your lead, but I think I will have to make do with keeping them under control for the near future.;-)

We have lost our way..... I have been out chastity for many weeks now and have become disillusioned with it. All was going well while I provided some guidance to my Mistress and she seemed interested but then she just started to ignore my needs etc. I decided that it was time for her to stand on her own and one day I asked her to remove the device as I had to do some work in the roof in a confined space and it was difficult to do this wearing the cage. So the device was removed and she never asked me to put it back on. Over the following weeks she made references to me not being attentive and that it I was no longer giving her way however she just never seemed to connect that she needed to take control. No we are virtually back to the way we were before I ever suggested chastity and I am a little lost. Many times I have thought of saying "You need to tell me if you want me to be locked up again." however I just can't do it as I want her to realise this herself. Maybe it will never happen because she is just not a dominant person and she has lived so long letting me be in charge. I don't know what I will do about it, but I know I am close to giving up on the whole idea. Dianne

Sorry to hear... but sometimes this lifestyle needs more than a helping hand. Yo can wait too long for things to come around. And sometimes misunderstandings are not solved by themselves.. Tell her You need to have the device back on. Tell her you need it to be able to pamper her in every way. No shame in that! It is the chemistry of attraction - only in a slightly different form. Tell her You love to be her a better husband - and this is doing the trick. And... Learn to suffer some more, when she is not paying enough attention to your sufferings. I have been there myself, but eventually I found the technique: Never to push her to fiddle with You, talking about your condition, - and at the same time shower her with love, affection, awareness of her every need. She will come around. She does not have to develop into a dominatrix to be center of your affection. And over time, she will learn to appreciate, . - no - to crave.

Hey @OwnedbyLeeanne! I think our friend @BlueEyes is correct in some ways! Softly-softly is a good tactic... but... if it is based on the assumption one's partner will want to be dominant, or will become dominant, then it may be destined for failure...? I certainly don't want to criticise because it seems you are in a tough spot my friend.... But.... Could it be that you are topping her from the bottom a little....? You want, if not need, chastity.... But what does your wife want....? Are you trying a little too hard to get what you want...? Maybe you should have that conversation with her that you think about..... I know it may be easier said than done, especially if you are stuck in a bit of a power struggle, but you might never really know what your wife wants until you ask her and she certainly won't know what you want until you tell her!!! And there my be some resentment if you give up your wish because you think she was not bothered.... Again.... I hope-I REALLY hope-you find a way to communicate.... And I hope these words don't appear too harsh on the screen, cos they're not meant with bad intentions! GOOD LUCK! With the absolute kindest regards. J.

> OwnedbyLeeanne said: > We have lost our way..... > I have been out chastity for many weeks now and have become disillusioned with it. > All was going well while I provided some guidance to my Mistress and she seemed interested but then > she just started to ignore my needs etc. > I decided that it was time for her to stand on her own and one day I asked her to remove the device > as I had to do some work in the roof in a confined space and it was difficult to do this wearing the cage. > So the device was removed and she never asked me to put it back on. > Over the following weeks she made references to me not being attentive and that it I was no longer > giving her way however she just never seemed to connect that she needed to take control. > No we are virtually back to the way we were before I ever suggested chastity and I am a little lost. > Many times I have thought of saying "You need to tell me if you want me to be locked up again." > however I just can't do it as I want her to realise this herself. > Maybe it will never happen because she is just not a dominant person and she has lived so long letting me > be in charge. > I don't know what I will do about it, but I know I am close to giving up on the whole idea. > Dianne > Click to expand... Yep this happens to me too, but don't give up!

aaaaw, that's a shame. Asks Her if you can has your cage back on again.