Introductions discussion

Hello everyone, There are various reasons why I only just managed to write an “about me” section in my profile today. What’s missing from that text is the fact that I’m somewhat of a kink-vanilla person (is that even a word?) and what I’ll explain right here: My wife and I have been married for 24 years, though we’ve had our ups and downs. It got to the point where our marriage was hanging by a thread, but we both decided to take action (I never stopped seeing my wife as my lucky find, and luckily she still feels love for me). After some serious professional counseling and working together to start doing things differently—or starting to do what we hadn’t been doing—we climbed out of the valley back up to the mountains (English isn’t my first language, but I trust you’ll get what I mean). I’m not certain if we belong here since I don’t submit to my wife, and she doesn’t dominate me. We lean more towards vanilla than kink. For us, chastity is a tool we want to use to improve our sex life; I believe that thanks to chastity (along with the other changes mentioned) we will be able to give each other what we used to have when we were newlyweds. I respect everyone’s choices and preferences and hope that those of us with vanilla tastes are also welcome here. I joined this site hoping to meet interesting people, exchange ideas, and learn more about the wonderful benefits chastity can bring to a relationship. Of course, this doesn’t mean I’m uninterested in various kink topics (after all, when we were down in that valley as a couple—I took the chance to explore what’s out there;)), I think this, along with my “about you” text in my profile, gives you a good idea of who I am. If you need more info, just ask. Thanks for reading my intro message and profile text. blessings, Onescotchaday

Hi there Welcome to the community. I'm sure you'll find things that interest both of you here. It would be nice to hear from your wife too. Xx Wendy

Hello and welcome. I just read Your "about me .." text. Very nice—and many new members could learn from You. Thanks for taking the time to help make this forum stand out:-) I can see you've been experimenting with the chastity theme in there, and now You finally have Your wife involved at a level she seems comfortable with. Great! A full belt is—and has always been—a game changer for many vanilla wives, I'm sure., - And no wonder! It feels kind of deja-vu that Your reason for this step is to enhance—maybe even save your marriage—and enjoy more intense sex with Your wife, like when You were young lovers. That's pretty much the same reason many of us join up in the first place—but for many of us it shifts—step by step—into something closer to a true Female Lead Lifestyle, and sex becomes less about receiving and more about improving your skills in giving oral sex—to her... And You end up being denied for longer periods while learning to handle all the household chores and pamper her in every way..LOL! I started out just like You, no more than 2 years ago, and today I have been denied for over 400 days—no release at all—(no milking or other semi-pleasure methods)—Just some wicked edging from time to time, and penetration—with ABSOLUTELY no: "Oh - I couldn't hold it back). I do the house chores, shopping, cooking, ironing, etc., and I love it all. She has blossomed in a wonderful way—and just witnessing her self-awareness, her radiant power, makes me feel so warm inside... I'm not saying You Two can't keep it as a tool to enhance sex for both of you, but the journey onward is amazingly rewarding on many levels and opens up a completely new dimension that's hard to grasp until you're caught in it. The transformation is impossible to describe—I'll leave it here—you have to experience it—together. And My wife? - @DREWife She loves how things turned out:-) - And there is NO LOOKING BACK! P.S. Starting with 30 days might be quite heavy—or perhaps a bit optimistic. Fingers crossed!;-9 A PA would remove the temptations and make it impossible for You to cheat—pull out and reinsert—so maybe you should get her ready in the near future for such a fine little helper;-) Best regards BlueEyes

@BlueEyes Many thanks for your comments and for sharing some of your experience with me; I really appreciate it. For now (I've only just started discussing this with my wife) I have no further intentions than having this chastity journey enhance our sex life and relationship. A PA seems a bit extreme to me, doesn't that make things messy when visiting the toilet? Anyway, we'll see what the future holds; but I feel confident that I don't need it because I consider myself not being the type of guy who cheats on the purpose of why we do this. And for me, that's exactly about building up by saving my orgasms for moments of intimacy followed by intercourse. All the other intimate moments we now share since we are back in the High Lands—like cuddling, spooning, embracing, flirting etc.—will only help me build up until that moment arrives:). 30 days: maybe you are right; the future will tell us. The length of the period itself is less important, but I believe it needs to be long enough for both of us to notice a difference. You're at 400 days denial, wow **respect!** But without milking or something similar, isn't that too long for the sake of healthy plumbing in the body? When you search Google on this topic, you find varying opinions ranging from "no health issue at all" to "21 orgasms a month as a minimum," with everything in between. I suppose if you are edging, the pre-cum you produce might be enough to drain the system; I'm not sure. So may I ask: have you checked this aspect one way or another since you're living this lifestyle? Thanks in advance for your thoughts on this. Best regards, Onescotchaday

Let me take over and answer that;-) From all the information I've gathered, it remains a myth that "the pipes need cleaning." I know people have brought up everything from prostate cancer to blue balls, but I've learned that the body itself manages to adjust in a clever way—reabsorbing whatever surplus is produced. So the red flag warning is somewhat of a scam designed to get us poor ladies fiddling too much with his package!:-) Clever little scheme.... in my opinion;-) Precum, to the best of my knowledge, comes from the urethra itself;-) and for sure BlueEyes produces excessive amounts when being edged;-) I think that without edging and exercise ( I allow him some penetration—but no cumming! ) we might see my toy suffer somewhat in the long run, and we can't have that—can we?;-) The pee issue with a PA is no problem. BlueEyes is only allowed to sit down while peeing. Even when he isn't wearing the PA or cage. He never has to stand again. I'm developing a habit of making things permanent for BlueEyes. Makes everything so simple, don't You think? I have to agree with others that once you get a PA—you can't pull out. Period!. BlueEyes is expected to take off the ring when I order penetration and put it back on afterwards. I have no problems with this necessity, ensuring he cannot cheat nor succumb to temptation. You'll learn what I mean once You start going for longer lock-ups. But please let her decide—that's a vital part of the magic.