Journals and blogs discussion

Hello everyone,

My wife and I (yes, we’ve been together for two decades—I feel ancient!) launched a Female-Led Relationship roughly six months back after I opened up about my submissive nature and desire to serve her. We have gradually built this dynamic, and she is now much more at ease making the choices.

With two teenagers in the house, our kinkier side doesn’t always take center stage, but these past few months have been quite a whirlwind.

I brought up chastity about three months ago because I had been masturbating every day for ages and was finding it hard to keep my promises; the honor system wasn’t cutting it. My wife initially resisted devices, so I let it go then.

About six weeks back, I wrote her a sincere letter detailing my struggles with my habit and asked if I could get a device to help. She agreed reluctantly (she rarely says yes unless she truly wants something), so I ordered a Holy Trainer v2.

We started by locking me in for three days, but we hit a snag early on—we had different ideas about the release schedule and clashed a bit; I was convinced I’d ruined everything. Fortunately, she forgave me quickly enough.

After two weeks, we tried again—I’ve been locked continuously since then and have never felt more desperate nor more obedient to her wishes! Earlier this week, she took possession of the keys, deciding when my releases would happen. The terrifying part is that she hasn’t hinted at a date yet and keeps smirking!!!!! I wouldn’t trade this for anything—the constant craving for my wife feels stronger now than it did in our younger years.

Before her trip today (she hid the keys before leaving), I asked a question I was dreading: whether she liked our new setup. Her simple “yes” made me ecstatic. My wife doesn’t talk much about feelings, so that meant everything to me; I feel on top of the world. She also mentioned how empowering it is for her to receive pleasure without feeling obligated to give something back!

I sense this journey will be a real roller coaster and that ‘be careful what you wish for’ applies here, but I am loving being submissive to my Goddess wife. Simple things like massaging her feet while she reads before bed or receiving even a light touch (non-sexual) make me tingle and feel the pressure in the cage. Knowing release isn’t imminent keeps her constantly on my mind.

I look forward to advice from you veterans as we share this path—keeping a journal will be very therapeutic!

Cheers

Not exactly an "old hand" yet, but I’m living it and riding the roller coaster too...

I am still navigating the initial stages of this journey myself, and wow, what a ride! Good luck, and try to remember that you chose this. Right now I’d kiss Ivey Green’s feet if given half a chance; I highly recommend reading A Keyholders Guide and then having your wife read it too. My wife just finished the first chapter last night, and it has already made an impact. Best of luck:)

Well, my wife just returned from her kids' soccer trip in Florida—she left me with a mountain of chores to do while she was gone. I finished them all and am absolutely exhausted. All for the hope of pleasing her, naturally. I asked if I could inquire about when I might get out of the cage; her response? She doesn’t intend to tell me! Delivered with that big smirk on her face.......... She certainly seems to have taken to this lifestyle like a duck to water......

Things are progressing in interesting ways. There have been plenty of cuddles and kisses since my wife returned from Florida, though nothing more has happened yet. I’m not sure if she was testing me or not; this morning she offered to unlock me so I could relieve myself—but I said no (it was tempting, but yes!) because I wanted to wait until it suited her enjoyment/benefit. She looked very smug and satisfied afterward! My wife has also increased the subtle teasing—inadvertently leaning against me, light touches during the day and night, and quiet innuendo. She admitted she enjoys having me caged and likes the behavioral change it brings. There are still some things to settle; she sometimes feels guilty when I ask about release dates, but I’ve assured her not to worry since this was what I requested. She is looking forward to being pleasured soon—whether that involves a release for me remains to be seen! My respect and love for my wife continue to grow, and I can definitely feel an attitude shift as the chastity period lengthens. After three weeks, I still have intense feelings of horniness directed at her constantly and would do anything willingly to please her. I think we are in this for the long haul.......

I can’t believe how much my wife has embraced this lifestyle. We are definitely in an FLR now—she no longer tolerates any backtalk and says exactly what she wants done and when. She also told me not to ask when I will be let out; it is entirely up to her to decide the timing and location. This morning, she woke up wanting to play. Having been locked for over three weeks, performance was a concern since I had been waiting eagerly for some action. It’s amazing how much chastity has altered my perspective. Even when unlocked, all I wanted was to provide pleasure; oral service is now perhaps even more arousing than PIV sex. What is really strange/dynamic changed is that after she climaxed, I would have been quite happy if she had simply locked me back up—having given her pleasure mattered more than my own gratification. However, she did allow my release and it was mind-blowing—the difference between regular masturbation and waiting for a chosen release is significant, and I wouldn’t trade the waiting/teasing/frustration for anything. I have been granted a day off from wearing the HT2 today but am told tomorrow marks another return! I feel so fortunate to have such a wonderful wife who is also my best friend. She has embraced the control/dominance dynamic with great gusto! It has strengthened our relationship and made, I think, us both very happy. Sure it will continue to be an interesting ride!

That sounds brilliant! My congratulations to you both.

Cheers and likewise Jasmic68. Merry Christmas to you and everyone else. There will surely be more bumps in the road ahead; I only wish I had found the courage to discuss this lifestyle years ago. We have experimented with spanking, collaring, ass play, etc., over these last few months, and I can honestly say it has reinvigorated our relationship. I no longer hide my kinks out of fear for how they might affect us. My wife is incredible—the way she has accepted, and then embraced, this lifestyle over time is beautiful. The fact that she admits to loving being in control and what it brings her is awesome. Obviously, with two teenage kids, we can’t live the lifestyle as intensely as I or she would like (!), but this is an incredible journey, and this site has been so useful in helping me realize I am not alone in my kinks.

My Wife has decided she wants me to wear women's clothes. I have no idea where this came from nor do I care. The fact that she desires it means it will happen. Our teenage son still lives with us, which limits how much we can indulge her wishes at home, but tomorrow we are going out to buy my first skirts and dresses. Like your experience, the way my Wife took what I gave her—my Penis in a chastity device—and decided what she wanted to do with it has left me breathless. It has totally reinvigorated our relationship and made me love her more than ever.

A bit late but happy Christmas to everyone. Our journey continues—the best Christmas Day present I could think of: my wife letting me orally pleasure her (obviously no release from the device for me!) before getting up. Focusing solely on her pleasure is an indescribable feeling; if you had told me that would make my world rock a year ago, I would have laughed! Obviously, I finished as horny and frustrated as hell, but that is a sensation I have come to embrace, lasting much longer than a brief 30-second orgasm. My wife also continues to gradually take more control—not in a bullying way, but in a manner that feels so right! She certainly seems less guilty about directing me on what to do and when. Even last night, her praise for how well I had done during the day—cooking, clearing up, ensuring her glass was full—made me feel great. Light touches from her before she ordered me to move over and give her more room in bed sent me to sleep very contented!

So a bit of a bump in the road yesterday—nothing dramatic but more of a 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' moment. I have been keen to move our FLR forward—really topping from the bottom this time. This caused some sulking on my part when things didn’t happen as quickly or easily as I had hoped yesterday. Our newish dynamic meant that today I was able to communicate why I was in a sulk, and we had a good chat. My wife doesn’t always express emotions well; we both joked that I am more connected with my feminine side regarding feelings than she is! We were able to talk things out—she knows she just needs to say if she wants something done (or not). We agreed that she is taking more control and now expects tasks to be completed without her having to ask (very noticeable over the last 2-3 weeks) and obviously feels very comfortable being in charge. The reality, as she quite rightly stated!, is that I asked for all this; she is in charge and will decide when things happen and what makes her comfortable. This includes how long I stay in chastity with no guarantees of any teasing on a schedule I might prefer!!!! This felt like a big step forward: I'm still finding it hard to let go of my pre-conceptions and desires, but there is absolutely no doubt that trying to please my wife has become my main goal. I can think of nothing but her, and whenever I am near her, I am straining in the cage. Quite remarkable that she has this effect after over 20 years of marriage, yet I would not swap these feelings for anything.

Not much happening on the play front. I have now been locked up for three weeks, and this feels like the new normal! My wife has offered twice to release me so I could 'go solo,' but both times I refused because the thought of solo masturbation feels empty without any involvement from my wife. I'm not sure if she is testing my willpower/boundaries or not, but it is quite something to see the smirk and smile on her face when I refuse, especially as she says she might not let me out all year!!!! This is hard—really hard. Like Jamsic's post mentions, it’s tough because what I want most is to sexually please her, yet she is rarely in the mood at the moment. I can hear myself getting grumpy and feel the sulking coming on, which I know she dislikes greatly, so the learning journey continues. There is no doubt that she is fully in charge now and feeling far more comfortable with it—also great that she doesn’t seem to feel guilty about denying me anymore and is confident calling the shots. On a separate note, the HT v2 is quite impressive. I am wearing it 24x7 without any issues—even while running 5Ks, endurance cycling, and rockwall climbing. When it comes off now, it no longer feels right.

Brilliant. Just brilliant. My Wife has not offered me solo pleasure yet, and I am pretty sure I would refuse if she did as well. I am glad you are having a positive experience with the HTv2. I go to the gym three times a week wearing it with absolutely no issues. Also, the way it needs to be removed for cleaning every four days or so is actually becoming our normal routine, ensuring my Wife and I have regular intimate showers together. That intimacy can just be her watching me shower but usually means she is in there with me, cleaning my back and bottom for me. Either way, it brings us closer together. I still want a custom steel device and eventually a full belt, but if those don’t work out, I know I can go back to an HTv2 and be happy.

wow.....so after writing up yesterday, last night my wonderful wife wanted PIV. Being released from the HT v2 was strange but what followed was the strangest thing I have ever encountered in my sex life. I had no interest in getting an orgasm and really, really wanted to ensure my wife had a climax. With three weeks of no activity there was no way I was going to last long, yet there was no way she would let me stop; I could not disobey her. Every ounce of focus and attention went into trying to satisfy her. It felt like I came but without the feeling of intense pleasure on my part.....it felt like my come dribbled out rather than a full-on ejaculation, and I stayed hard enough to bring her to climax. After withdrawing from my wife post-activity more come dribbled out. It did not feel like real relief and was quite confusing—but my wife was satisfied and happy, which was my focus and desire. Each day I am more thankful for my wife. I really do see us turning back; I look forward to her taking more control and feeling the intense frustration and turn-on that is chastity.

> DCHubby said: > wow.....so after writing up yesterday, last night my wonderful wife wanted PIV. Being released from the HT v2 was strange but what followed was the strangest thing I have ever encountered in my sex life. > > > I had no interest in getting an orgasm and really, really wanted to ensure my wife had a climax. With three weeks of no activity there was no way I was going to last long yet there was no way she would let me stop; I could not disobey her. > > > Every ounce of focus and attention went into trying to satisfy her. It felt like I came but without the feeling of intense pleasure on my part.....it felt like my come dribbled out rather than a full-on ejaculation, and I stayed hard enough to bring her to climax. After withdrawing from my wife post-activity more come dribbled out. > > > It did not feel like real relief and was quite confusing—but my wife was satisfied and happy which was my focus and desire. > > > Each day I am more thankful for my wife. I really do see us turning back; I look forward to her taking more control and feeling the intense frustration and turn-on that is chastity. I had a similar experience last weekend. I am not sure but have a theory. I wonder if the Holy Trainer presses down on the nerve leading sensation to the glans. Every time I get a contained erection, the area where the tube joins the ring (just under the locking mechanism) gets pressed into the base of my penis. This is where the nerve runs through. There isn’t enough pressure to remove all sensation but it is sufficient to stop me reaching a full orgasm. My Wife wanted PIV sex and I obliged. Something definitely came out, but not a full orgasm. It was more like a ruined orgasm, though perhaps less intense than those specific ones. I too was at the three-week point since my previous orgasm. What do you think? Does it sound plausible? The last time I had an orgasm, my Wife had let me out of the device for several hours so my penis had enough time to relax and recover. That was at the six-week mark since my previous one, and I still had to work a bit to achieve it.

could be jasmic.....one thing is for sure: it was completely unlike anything I have experienced before. To be honest, it was quite uncomfortable—I had 24 hours out of the HT v2 which was nice but am now nicely locked back up—which my wife prefers!

Wow, my wonderful wife never ceases to amaze me. Things continue to tick along and as we are on a skiing vacation the HT v2 has stayed at home. Being let loose is a strange feeling now—my wife already scolded me for using her key to unlock before getting on the flight. She had said that I should be unlocked for a week—I can't imagine taking a tumble with the cage on!—but I stupidly forgot to ask permission to use the key from her keyring. Almost daily, she is telling me if there is something she isn’t happy with. When we first started this journey, I know she felt guilty if she had an orgasm and I did not. Fast forward a few months, and that concern seems gone! She woke me up this morning, got me worked up, and allowed me to orally pleasure her—she has definitely taken charge: after a while, she aggressively moved my hand and directed me so she could have an intense orgasm. Afterward, she subtly teased me for a short time; once I was massively worked up, she told me that was enough. So one very horny, frustrated—but happy—hubby! She smiled and smirked a lot when I told her that despite the frustration of not being allowed to come, this actually works for me. Keeping me on edge ensures I don’t question her authority. Despite being unlocked and horny, the temptation to take matters into my own hands isn't an option I would pursue. Sure this roller coaster ride has many more twists and turns but seeing the smile and contented look on my wife's face makes it all worthwhile!