Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

Hello everyone. I’ve just joined the group and am still getting my bearings. Could anyone offer some guidance? Any helpful advice on how to take charge if you’re naturally gentle rather than harsh!? Help! Let’s get this going!

The easiest approach is likely remembering that you hold the key. If you can resist giving him access even when he pleads for it, you can encourage him to push his boundaries for your benefit. Another question: do you truly want to be harsh? After all, as a keyholder, the power lies in your hands. You make the decisions. He wants punishment (good)! But you decide when that occurs. Clarify what you desire from chastity. Whether it's a foot rub, someone preparing your bath, lunch made for you, or him dancing naked to Beyoncé while you record... Whatever *you* prefer. If he fails to deliver, add days and stick with the decision. However, if you genuinely wish to be harsh rather than just getting your way, I'm sure many here are better suited to guide you. I would suggest that if you know no lasting harm will come to him, then what is there to fear... Browse through these threads and others to find something amusing for him to do. Then wait before offering release until he completes it. If I were his keyholder, parts of me might remain quiet for a while, responding to any request for play with talk of "additional days," whether real or not. Mess with his head. Oh, and at some point you should really tease him (not physically) just don't tell him when. Find something that feels like it would truly test his comfort levels and make him feel slightly out of control. Whether sending him to the store in women's underwear or suddenly swapping his current device for a spiked one for a day while encouraging stimulation. A former girlfriend once tied me up on the bed - curtains open, wearing just vibrating panties. Unable to move and very aroused, she told me she was heading to the pub with her friends. As I say, you don't have to be harsh to dominate (slap him around if that's your style) you simply need to constantly remind him that you are in charge and your word is law. Hmmm, this almost makes me want to become a keyholder. But then again, I have no desire to dominate the one I love.

Occasionally let him see that he pleases you, and keep some lightness and fun in it for him too - at least until he gets accustomed to the routine. But unless you push his limits, aren't you really denying him what he wants? He asked for this. Make him regret it slightly:)

You don't need to be harsh, just in control. Only act nasty if it is enjoyable and entertaining for YOU.