Introductions discussion

Hey everyone. My partner and I are relatively new to the world of chastity, having been at it for about a month now. By nature, I’m more submissive, though I’m gradually stepping into a Dominant role myself. It’s not always simple, but we both find it pleasurable. He tends toward being naturally Dominant, so our dynamic has completely flipped roles—unless I decide to unlock him, in which case things get lively! I stumbled upon this website while searching for Chastity forums on Google. So far, it’s definitely the best of the two I’ve come across, but one thing is bothering me…Does a Keyholder’s Only area exist where men who are locked out can’t wander in?

Hi @Thatgirl. Glad to have you here. Your transition from sub to Domme and your boyfriend’s shift the other way reminds me of Georgia Ivey Green's story. My Wife is currently reading her guide on male chastity and finds it really useful; if you're curious, the Kindle version is quite affordable. She used to be his slave for several years, so moving up to become his Mistress was a significant step! As far as I know, this forum doesn't have a keyholder exclusive section, but there are plenty of Mistresses here whom you can message or chat with privately.

Welcome to our community, Thatgirl!:)

> Jasmic68 said: > Hello @Thatgirl. Glad to have you here. > Your transition from sub to Domme and your boyfriend’s shift the other way reminds me of Georgia Ivey Green's story. My Wife is currently reading her guide on male chastity and finds it really useful; if you're curious, the Kindle version is quite affordable. She used to be his slave for several years, so moving up to become his Mistress was a significant step! > As far as I know, this forum doesn't have a keyholder exclusive section, but there are plenty of Mistresses here whom you can message or chat with privately. > Click to expand... Hello! Actually, I've read BOTH books by Georgia Ivey Green! They offer great insights and gave me lots of inspiration:) Thanks for the response...this site is wonderful, but I really do wish they had a Keyholder's Only section!

> latexbound said: > Welcome to our community, Thatgirl!:) > Click to expand... Thank you! I hope to be very active here soon:)

Is the other book about setting up an FLR? I'm currently reading that one and it's helping clarify what we're doing.

> Jasmic68 said: > Is the other book about setting up an FLR? I'm currently reading that one and it's helping clarify what we're doing. > Click to expand... Yes indeed. It includes even more tips and tricks to help keep your man submissive and obedient, along with various games, etc.

Hello and welcome. May I ask how Chastity started for you two? Since you're naturally submissive and he's the dominant one, there seems to be an interesting story behind it all.:)

> ineverknew said: > Hello and welcome. May I ask how Chastity started for you two? Since you're naturally submissive and he's the dominant one, there seems to be an interesting story behind it all.:) > Click to expand... Hi and thanks! Well...it is actually a bit of an interesting story regarding how we got into Chastity, given that I'm naturally submissive while he's Dominant. We were browsing the bondage section at our local Adult Store when we spotted the CB6k cage. He was surprisingly interested in it, as was I. We purchased one directly from the maker. At first, we thought it would just be a occasional thing, but he has ended up caged most of the time now. He should join us shortly to read and add his thoughts. We both joined here only a few days ago, and he hasn't had a chance to post yet.

@Thatgirl, thanks for sharing your story. I'd say that in my relationship, the roles are reversed—I'm dominant and my wife is submissive. She actually started Chastity between us. Not entirely sure why exactly. The idea of her not being able to orgasm feels so taboo yet kind of thrilling. But regarding her submission to me, it's quite a challenge for her. Although she doesn't force the issue much, she mostly likes Chastity as a way to prevent my masturbation. It will be fascinating to see what your boyfriend thinks about all this and how he feels overall;)

> ineverknew said: > @Thatgirl, thanks for sharing your story. I'd say that in my relationship, the roles are reversed—I'm dominant and my wife is submissive. She actually started Chastity between us. Not entirely sure why exactly. The idea of her not being able to orgasm feels so taboo yet kind of thrilling. But regarding her submission to me, it's quite a challenge for her. Although she doesn't force the issue much, she mostly likes Chastity as a way to prevent my masturbation. It will be fascinating to see what your boyfriend thinks about all this and how he feels overall;) > Click to expand... Well...we are technically practicing Chastity, but let's be honest. Unfortunately, I can rarely go a full 24 hours without letting him out. It isn't because he begs for release—oh no—it’s because *I* want him unlocked so I can use him however I please. It feels a bit strange since I hear many wives and girlfriends love having their husbands caged because they aren't huge fans of PIV sex. Personally, I am definitely a fan of PIV and honestly cannot do without it. Still have some shopping to do for good substitutes;-)

@Thatgirl, that makes total sense. You hold the keys, so you decide how things play out. My wife feels similarly; she only needs sex about once a month on average. She has never been super into frequent sex, but when her mood strikes, she wants PIV. As for substitutes, I can't say much there. I tried using a strap-on with my wife and she still prefers the real thing lol. She says skin-to-skin contact is key. I agree;)

> ineverknew said: > @Thatgirl, that makes total sense. You hold the keys, so you decide how things play out. My wife feels similarly; she only needs sex about once a month on average. She has never been super into frequent sex, but when her mood strikes, she wants PIV. As for substitutes, I can't say much there. I tried using a strap-on with my wife and she still prefers the real thing lol. She says skin-to-skin contact is key. I agree;) > Click to expand... Well, my ideal scenario is daily sex, lol! That's exactly why the Chastity cage works so well for us—it keeps him pretty much obsessed with me, which I absolutely love! I've considered getting a strap-on since we already have some regular dildos that we use, but I have to agree with your wife: nothing truly beats the real thing!

@Thatgirl, well your boyfriend sounds like a lucky guy!:)

hello thatgirl one idea is to try cuckolding.

> spider203 said: > hello thatgirl one idea is to try cuckolding. > Click to expand... Thanks for the suggestion, Spider. However, my BF and I aren't really interested in that.

Another option @Thatgirl is to enjoy the PIV sex you crave while denying him the orgasm he would usually get. You can use delay creams or condoms that prevent climax, or keep him caged and use a strap-on yourself. There's someone on this forum who uses banding to numb his penis; it both terrifies me and fascinates me at once. I'm not sure if I could handle daily PIV haha, so my feelings are mixed about whether your boyfriend is truly lucky:p The power shift when you're told no climax can be huge—it's such a turn-on for me. Also, in the long run, your boyfriend benefits greatly; male orgasms after weeks of denial are those moments where everything makes sense and all that restless energy is worth it.

> Thatgirl said: > Thanks for the suggestion, Spider. However, my BF and I aren't really interested in that. > Click to expand... it was just a suggestion, not something you need to take with a pinch of salt. Bringing a third person into your dynamic is indeed a big deal.

I've been using numbing condoms; that way, we get the PIV sex she craves. Once she reaches her orgasm, I go back into the cage without having ejaculated. This allows you to extend his Chastity for a few weeks to reap all the benefits while still enjoying plenty of sex together. The numbing condoms are very effective and let you delay his release as long as needed.

Usually my wife and I start with her giving me a "maintenance spanking". This might involve a paddle, whip, carpet beater, or even her heavy wooden paddle. She comments on how red she is "painting" me as she goes. After that, I usually kneel beside the bed and tend to her until she's wild-eyed and needs me inside her immediately. I serve her however long she enjoys it. Then she says, "You can shoot now." By granting permission for my climax, she reinforces her control over me. That submissive feeling is what pushes me right over the edge. She often notes that I move like a 20-year-old stud—not bad for a man of 63! Sometimes I wonder how people would view my demure wife at 62 as a Mistress and see the wild abandon with which she enjoys bedtime. Salonslave