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My journey into chastity has just started. A brand new black small Holy Trainer v2 arrived today, and I’m thrilled with it! It fits perfectly and is very comfortable. I’ve always had a submissive side and have been interested in chastity for about 18 months. My partner finds all of this quite overwhelming; it’s definitely ‘out there,’ after all. I introduced the idea gradually over the course of a year, and last week on Valentine’s Day we agreed to buy a device. She is reluctantly letting me wear it today. I’m not sure how long she will allow me to keep it on, which adds to the excitement. It probably won’t be very long at all. But I definitely promise not to touch the key until she decides to unlock the cage! This fits with my kinks—she tolerates them but isn’t entirely into it herself. I hope to bring her around to enjoying a power dynamic in our sex life. She likes feeling in control, and I love serving her, so I think this could work with some patience and persistence. It might eventually give her confidence and peace of mind. I definitely didn’t want to get into chastity on my own; it wouldn’t have made sense or worked well for me. I’m in a long-term committed relationship, and while I admit my sexual tastes have evolved over time, I want us to write our chastity story together. Already today, I feel deeply thankful to my partner for permitting and supporting my kinks. Thanks to this cage around my cock, I want to give her even more love and devotion. Chastity is such a paradox; I know it will take time for her to understand both me and the concept. I can’t wait to see how our story unfolds. Till next time, itsnolongermine

One piece of advice: Don't rush. Men want all the toys in the toy box NOW and wonder why they have a toy that their partner hasn't wanted yet! Women tend to take things more slowly.

> Jasmic68 said: > One piece of advice. > Don't rush. > Men want all the toys in the toy box NOW and why have they got a toy I haven't wannit NOW! > Women tend to take things slower. > Click to expand... Thanks! You're absolutely right. I do have lots of ideas swirling around. I'm wondering how to make the best possible small steps forward. The cage is off again at the moment. I figure that now is when I should just hand it to her and say, "you choose when this goes on next." And leave it at that. In my head, I am quite prepared for this to take years as we build it into our relationship. But my cock has other ideas....

Welcome! And yes, definitely take it slow. This is a pretty rare taboo kink for most people!

My GF has taken to chastity play like a fish to water, but then again she is kinkier than $2 garden hose. She very much proclaims it as HERS and wants it all for herself. It took about a week to get her fully on board, but once she realized that I was in no way rejecting my desire for her, she was completely invested.

> Jessica Alexander said: > My GF has taken to chastity play like a fish to water but then again she is kinkier than $2 garden hose. She very much proclaims it as HERS and wants it all for herself. It took about a week to get her fully on board but once she realized that I was in no way rejecting my desire of her, she was all in. > Click to expand... Good for you, having a GF who's into it. When I first talked about this, my partner was really worried that I was somehow rejecting her. How did you communicate that it wasn't like that?

> Jessica Alexander said: > My GF has taken to chastity play like a fish to water but then again she is kinkier than $2 garden hose. She very much proclaims it as HERS and wants it all for herself. It took about a week to get her fully on board but once she realized that I was in no way rejecting my desire of her, she was all in. > Click to expand... My Wife is decidedly unkinky (or at least she used to be! She is changing fast!) but she is very accustomed to being in control; she works in senior management. At one point, she literally had hundreds of people working for her. It took her a while to get started with Chastity, but she is learning fast and loving it.

Here I'm going to share my approach to choosing an off-the-shelf device. I don't know if it's right or good, but I took an approach that I haven't seen anywhere else. I estimated the average volume of my cock. Yes, you read that correctly. And yes, it takes a little bit of middle-school maths. I haven't tried anything else but the HTv2, but since it seems to fit perfectly, maybe there is merit in this approach. I hope this method adds to the conversation, particularly for people buying off-the-shelf products. PansyTart's advice pinned to The Mall is definitely a more comprehensive way of going about it. The fact that the ring shouldn't cause you any pain was really important. I was close to ordering an HTv2 with a 35mm diameter ring, which would have been silly. I ended up getting the 45mm diameter one instead; it's snug and secure, but more importantly allows blood to flow in and out of my cock without pain. Definitely follow their advice first. But if you want another method to confirm before buying something, read on... I measured the length of my cock dozens and dozens of times over a week or two. Using my index finger, I measured from where it meets my balls, noting where along the inside creases of my knuckles the tip reached. I measured it while bloodcocked, meat-cocked, and everywhere in between (I'm a 'grower' by other terminology). Surprisingly, I found that the length didn't vary all that much. It was usually around 80mm +/- 10mm. It certainly looks like it does more than that, but in reality, not so much. I also measured the circumference of my flaccid cock a bunch of times. I made sure I was in a bloodcock configuration (a bit shrunken but not ridiculously so). I found it to be about 80mm +/- 10mm as well. I used string for this measurement. (Caution, bad text-based maths ahead) The equation for the volume of a tube = (length) x pi x (radius) x (radius). Radius = (circumference) / (2 x pi) Using these two equations, I found that my cock's volume varies between about 20,000m3 and 58,000m3. My best guess based on this information is that a cage would be best around 40,000m3 if it was to be snug but not too small or rarely too large. The length of the cage takes care of that. By this point, you're probably wondering how the hell this information helps? Here's why it helps: You can estimate the volume of off-the-shelf devices using the same method. Based on what you can find online, here are the volumes for cages of various off-the-shelf devices: - CB6000 - 70,900mm3 - CB6000s - 60,800mm3 - Holy Trainer (normal) - 57,700mm3 - Holy Trainer (small) - 43,600mm3 - Birdlocked classic - 55,600mm3 - Birdlocked mini - 38,900mm3 We are assuming that the design of the device and differences in cage/ring gap don't make too much difference. For me, this information ruled out anything except the small Holy Trainer or the Birdlocked mini. All devices with volumes at the upper range for my cock's volume would simply be too large. Nearly all other off-the-shelf devices I found online had more voluminous cages than the CB6000. Hope this helps! Got any questions? Let me know below.:)

Two days ago, we had a big breakthrough in communicating about chastity, and I've been locked up since. I asked to be locked up, and we had a lengthy conversation about her fears. I really listened to her. Her concerns came down to two things: she was worried it meant I wasn't attracted to her, and that being locked up would mean everything becomes about me and my arousal. For the first time, I admitted my masturbation habit. We always skirted around this in the past or talked in generalities, but this time I was specific. I admitted I had come four times since we last had sex a week ago. She was surprised and disappointed that I hadn't tried to make a move on her instead. Thanks to @jml00 posting this I was able to explain how I was trapped in a vicious cycle affecting our relationship. It really helped being honest in that way. It was scary, but I think it put my desire and the potential benefit of me being chaste into proper context. We also talked about how I have always been submissive. She didn't need to ask what I meant by that (we've never discussed power dynamics in relationships before) and smoothly said she had always known this, even before we were together. I think it helped to talk about how there has always been that dynamic in our relationship, and now we are being more explicit about it. She finally agreed to lock me up. Given the weekend we have just had, I think her fears have well and truly been put to rest. We made some ground rules for the weekend: - I would be locked for at least 24 hours. - I wouldn't talk about it (she could if she wanted). - She could tease me and get me to do things for her, if she felt like it. - She chooses when I'm released and locked up next. I locked myself up, gave her the key, and haven't seen it since. But she hasn't forgotten that I am at her mercy. Indeed, she's starting to take to it like a duck to water... For the first time ever, she used me for her own pleasure. I suggested she could tell me to go down on her, and it was OK for her not to worry about my desires. Several hours after saying that, she abruptly instructed me to "get down there" as she lay down on the bed. She came, then turned and sat on my face, nearly coming a second time. I have never given her consecutive orgasms. By God, I don't think I've ever been so aroused before in my life. She got up and dressed while I experienced a kind of post-peak arousal come-down. It was awesome. That's not all. As we planned our weekend activities, she said several times, "well, I guess you don't really have a choice, do you?" gently patting me on the crotch. I just nod and admit she can decide whatever she likes. She is starting to get it, and I think she likes it. Each time she has expressed the power the key gives her, I've been filled with an intense mix of elation, arousal, love, and a touch of trepidation. Am I really sure what I've got myself into? It's been hard, not topping from the bottom. I suggested she unlock me, touch me, and lock me back up again. She wasn't keen on the idea initially. But when she was deciding whether to unlock me for the second night, I just laid out her options. She liked being able to choose, so she chose to keep me locked. Finally, I nearly burst out of the cage when she suggested it needs a name! She giggled as she said "The Dog Box" or "maybe it's more like a Kennel..." Yep, she's getting into it.

I want to press about another fifteen like buttons just to let you know how much I liked that last post!

Great progress! Thanks for keeping us posted. What an awesome journey! Good luck and enjoy the ride!

That sounds amazing; I'm hoping to go through a similar experience. My wife isn't afraid that I am not attracted to her; she is just indifferent so far. I have a metal one coming in the mail, so hopefully it will help. I've thought about the Holy Trainer... but I don't know if I will fit into it... I may say screw it and get it anyway as everything I hear about it is amazing.