Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

@Thatgirl and I have really enjoyed our time in chastity since we started together almost a year back. However, we haven’t been overly “hardcore” about it. My lock ups usually last just a few days; outside the bedroom, she doesn’t exert much FLR-style control over my cage beyond what’s inside, nor does she expect me to call her Mistress or anything formal like that. She has no interest in femme / sissification either. Until recently, she gave me very few rules. One of them was avoiding porn and other things meant to excite me. I broke this rule the other day, which triggered a series of events leading up to my writing this post. @Thatgirl rarely punishes me—perhaps just adding an extra couple of days to my lock up—but this time she sent a text while at work saying she felt I didn’t fully grasp my position and intended to help me realize it. She pointed out that since I’m not naturally submissive, being stubborn and somewhat defiant by nature, she plans to take control more firmly. Real punishments are now part of the deal. It’s all new territory and has caught me a bit off guard. First, she told me to be waiting at the door on my knees, blindfolded with a leather whip in my mouth when she got home from work. I knew this meant spanking was coming. I’m not someone who loves pain, and she knows that for me, it won’t be a “fun punishment.” I thought she’d just give me a few swats and call it done. But I was wrong. She didn’t go completely overboard, but definitely got my attention. In the same message, she also instructed me to clean the house and have dinner ready. Again, new ground for us. Second, after receiving those instructions and returning to my day, a notification popped up on our shared phone calendar: “unlock thatguyontheinternet” (my name, obviously). The date made my heart skip though; it’s only 13 days since my last release a few days ago. That might not seem like much, but my longest lock-up previously was ten days, which feels long enough these days. I texted her: “really??!!” She replied simply with “yes,” adding that she wouldn’t make the next two weeks easy for me either. Third, once she arrived home and dealt with my punishment, she let me know that from now on, any answer to a question of hers must end in “ma’am.” This might sound bland compared to what most men face, but it came out of left field for me—a total shift from how we’ve lived chastity so far. @Thatgirl intends to forcibly teach me submission and what it entails; calling her by something other than just her name also helps keep her firm in her decisions. I got a little nervous. Lastly, before heading back to work the next morning (today), she had me bend over the bed while she spanked me with her hairbrush, explaining that this would become our morning ritual for the near future. Then she took me to the bathroom and installed the longer criss-cross pin in my Jailbird, telling me I’d wear it whenever not under her direct supervision moving forward to help avoid self-arousal. Once at work, she told me to create this post as well, wanting to ensure I really think about these changes she’s making and where I stand within them. So the last day seems to mark a significant shift in our approach to chastity. While @Thatgirl is sure it will remain enjoyable, she made clear her intent to use all available tools to alter various behaviors (texting while driving came up as examples). It feels sudden to me but oddly welcome. For the first time since very early on, I’m nervous yet excited about what she might have planned for me when she returns home—or perhaps later that day or week. And genuinely anxious about consequences if instructions aren’t followed—at least somewhat so there is an undeniable appeal in her forceful response to my infraction. But knowing myself well, and how instinctively we push back almost subconsciously, it may prove a difficult (and painful) path ahead for me. @Thatgirl knows this too; she simply said that regardless of difficulty or severity of punishment required on my part, she plans to thoroughly enjoy the process—and that’s what I need focus on now. Keeping her happy has always been the goal, whether caged or not. Now she gets to utilize the cage more effectively toward ensuring I keep her content. So how about everyone else? Has your chastity journey evolved similarly?

yes, doesn’t that amount to a kind of trial?

> Thatguyontheinternet said: > So what about anyone else? Did your chastity play evolve like this? > Into something more than just play, that becomes a test of sorts? > Click to expand... My GF and I were kinky from the day we met. A lot of experimenting and different plays. But she is also dominant only in our bedroom. Chastity was just like the rest of fetishes. On and off for ocasional play. But after our first baby arrived 2 years ago things started to change. Sex was starting to get less important for her and my time locked was getting longer and longer. We bought MM Jailbird this april and I have been locked everyday since. She unlockes me almost every or every other sunday and we have sex, so I have nothing to complain about. We are expecting 2nd baby this year. We'll see how things will go from there...

Yes. My chastity 'play' stopped being a game remarkably quickly and became my life. Our life. When we started the experimentation stage of chastity my Wife stated quite firmly that this was not going to be a 24/7 thing and for her to be involved it had to be fun. We recently discussed where we had got to and she admitted that it has very definitely become 24/7 and yes, she is very much having fun. The moment it changed happened when my Wife realised how much fun she was having with my reactions to her assertive domination of me, usually in the shower, after two to three weeks of being denied an orgasm. The shortest period I have gone in the last six weeks is five weeks and just recently it has been much longer. This is because she sees how the smallest thing from her, for instance a brush of her clothed breast against my arm while we are in a shop, has me trembling and weak at the knees. She has not reached a stage that you describe, of introducing punishments, but it is something we have discussed, just a few days ago. When I asked her what did she think was the worst thing she could do to me her reply was to make me masturbate on my own. She knows that this would reset my chastity clock and it would take three weeks or so before I got my 'fizz' back again. This would indeed be a punishment. She has reprogrammed me to see something I used to do for pleasure to now be a punishment. It very much is a test. I never felt the need to write about our lives before chastity, but this is as much in the brain and attitude of the participants as it is in our desires. Now I keep an almost daily journal, at the very least a weekly one. It is much more than just sex, we are doing more than just acting a scene. Both of us have talked about how we are being rewired. My Wife is becoming more assertive but is also showing me much more attention. She has realised that even small aknowledgements of what we are doing pays huge dividends. For my part I am becoming much more supportive as well as openly submissive to her. She absolutely loves the way I actively look for ways to please her and how I am using my initiative. There is no way back. This year has seen her become more sexual and feel more sexy. Neither of us want to go back to how things were before we locked my penis up.