Journals and blogs discussion

I’m scrapping my old blog, Kris has done this too, things have shifted quite a bit. For the better, I might add. For about a month now I’ve ignored my old blog; I didn’t feel motivated to write in it, I felt numb, really nothing much at all. It was terrible! Kris and I were stuck in a rut, lacking kink with some fumbles, nothing too spectacular, but then about 2 weeks ago sex just fizzled out. There wasn’t much there, well except for lots of frustration on my side. I didn’t want to talk to Kris about it, let alone post in my blog how annoyed and unwanted I felt. I guess I can only voice this now that things are better. On Saturday, Kris and I were getting ready to go out. We were both about to get changed in the bedroom when Kris slipped into a jockstrap. This was too much for me; I became instantly hard. I love it when Kris is dressed like that—it drives me wild, even more than when he was femming. I think deep down Chris knows this liking of mine has grown stronger as my porn preference shifted toward butchier guys, which contrasts with what Kris was becoming. He then put on the dog hood we own; it felt like old days back when Kris was my dog slave. I love it, and We love it! Needless to say we had sex and it was great, though I worried that we didn’t have much time for aftercare—it was one of those quick cum-and-get-dressed affairs. Last night, I decided I wanted some new pics for my profile. I bought a new jockstrap and wanted to show it off (pics are up by the way). I decided Kris should be involved too, so he was instructed to put the hood on. We took numerous photos and I got very worked up; I felt sexy and empowered, something I haven’t felt for a long time. I removed the hood, lay on the bed, telling Kris that I wanted to feel worshipped like a master should. He eagerly got to work on me. It was well animalistic with all that testosterone; it was amazing. Things finished with Kris riding me hard and saying he wanted a new puppy tail. With that comment I filled him with my cum, while his jockstrap simultaneously filled with his. It was the best sex we have had in ages. I love this feeling. I hope this new blog doesn’t jinx things like it usually does; I can see myself being master to a butch dog slave rather than just a sissy. I’m worried this blog may upset or offend Kris with some of my comments, but it needs to be out there now we have a fresh start. Hope I haven’t rambled too much; go check out my new pics, they’re fabulous! lol!

Hooray for a fresh (or sticky!) new start. Have a great day.:manga_tennis:

I do love the pics! As MW says, enjoy your fresh start!:-) mikecb

W/we all need some small changes once in a while. My Mistress wants to do some ponyplay eventually. I'll still be Her sissy maid and will become Her sissy pony when She feels like it... Something was missing from Your life and i think that you found it. Enjoy the moment until the next change! Cheers, sissy Cherry

That is awesome! Love the hood; I never seen one of those before. I guess somehow in all my kink I missed them out on that one! Good to hear about your new start. Keep us posted on the new you.

Thanks guys for all your kind words of support; they mean a lot to me. So, I'm doing what I aimed to do: update my blog on a more regular basis. I'm still feeling at my most dominant, even though I've had to put it bluntly. It was the shittest day of my life at work; I hate the place and can't wait to find something better so I can get out of that dump. The quitting smoking is going against me a bit; I haven't quit as such. I've had 1 or 2 over the last 2 days, but considering I was smoking 20-40 a day, I'm doing pretty good. The money I'm saving is going into a fund for a dog tail butt plug for Kris. After that it will probably be spent on me and maybe some new jockstraps to wear during playtimes. The incentive also is that Kris is giving me daily blowjobs (at least) just to help me along. I know I could just smoke and demand the blowbacks because I'm master and in charge, but I'm gonna stick to being good. There's not a lot to report today though; I'm exhausted and don't seem to be thinking straight, so for today i'll leave it at that.

KM, Good luck on the quitting smoking. It sounds like you're making great progress, and what a lovely incentive program you have!:-) I've been thinking a lot about your and kris's blogs. It's obvious that kris is happiest (and horniest) when you're full-on in control. I think you're happiest with a dog slave, not a sissy gurl. Still, you've blogged before that you enjoyed Topping kris in that arena too. I honestly think Kris is happiest as a sissy but wants to please you even more. That tension ultimately drives down both your libidos. I really think the best bet is to do what I do when I can't decide on which desert I want at the restaurant: "I'll have both, please!" I don't think you guys need to live one life or the other. You need to be the Master and kris needs to be the slave.:rules: Beyond that, variety is the spice of life. Maybe one night you want to growl and bark, another night you want a beautiful sissy girl flitting around your house serving tea. If you're calling the shots I think kris will be in heaven. When you're in control, your blogs are both really upbeat and happy.:jumping0036::jumping0036: Beyond that, it's just fussy details! Have fun, live life!:-) Best wishes, mikecb

Well said mike. While still learning the submissive role myself it is hard to speak to that all in full understanding but I do know when Goddess is taking charge she could be telling me to take the trash out and somehow it feels erotic. LOL

Kris has posted; I'll admit it was a little bit of a bitch yesterday. I didn't want to be though; I was all horny and frustrated. We'd had some passion in the morning but no sex. I wanted to be on top form for that evening, like how I am now—really confident ready to be master again 100%. Let me go back a few days. Kris and I were away camping; we talked previously about having outdoor fun from what I thought was passing comments. So anyway, Saturday night in the tent things got passionate and Kris suggested we move somewhere else. I happily agreed. We ended up in some woods; it was pitch black but good. Kris pulled a hood out of his pocket and put the collar on with a lead attached. He quickly fumbled at my pants and slipped my cock out; I was hard as hell at this point. Then he dropped his pants and fucked me over a tree, pulling at the lead with each thrust. It was really hot. I guess after that night's events I've realized what fun we can have together—how kinky and dirty we both are. A few days later we were home again; it felt like slipping back to old ways but I didn't want that, making sure Kris knew it too. Did get a bit snappy saying things uncalled for. Scared maybe that was just a one-off and we'll slip back to vanilla ways which is exactly what I don't want! I want to be a good master; best even—dominant and caring toward Kris but sometimes can't get over my own needs. Finally got my dog slave back and happier than ever. Happy when Kris was a slave gurl too, but always felt like something missing—that void is being filled again now just hope it's not too long till the fun starts.

If you are kris,s master why is it that he pulled out a hood from HIS pocket and put a lead on etc? Maybe its time YOU did the arrangements and show him your the BOSS>:anim_39:

Allornowt. It's all well and good you making a point but you could try addressing Master with more respect when posting. I always show respect when dealing with other Masters and Mistresses on the Mansion.

Slave kris i apologize if you think i did not show respect to your Master; I always respect authority figures and your master is no exception. Other than that i was suggesting a point of view really in that it seemed you were doing some topping from the bottom taking the lead (no pun intended). If i do something similar with my Mistress she takes great exception and i would be punished severely. Hope no offense taken look forward to speaking again ps love dog hood though! Mistress likes it too.:anim_37:

It's ok Any suggestions welcome Master didn't seem happy with the tone however even if no offense was intended Spared moment thing so grabbed what we had at time We were both nervous.

why should you and your master be nervous its anyone who stumbles over you doing what you do who would be nervous lol:scared0016:

I think Kris answered the question. Also Chris had bigger pockets than me; I wore shorts so no place to put goodies. Today has been good planned a day of play today while in bed last night and we got it! Started pretty normal having chilled day then told Kris bedroom was messy needed tidying before any play happened didn't look too happy reckoned no play would happen silly boy questioning me! After cleaning up I put Kris' new pink diamant collar on, a purchase to make him the dog slave I want but keep his sissy desires place kinda comprimise keeping us both happy. Kris also mentioned wanting tied up took this as demand so did tie legs cuffed added spredder bar between them then made kneel down hands cuffed locked middle spredder bar face down carpet Kept moaning uncomfortable replied 'asked to be tied' told him if he was go give what wanted but not how expected think hit home for future demands. Then teased playing cock and arse loved it Everytime close either flog or pull cock After couple times came loads ruined orgasm humoured even more good see him disappointed hadn't cum properly Uncuffed ordered put strap on needless say had hot sex hardly touched my cock but still ended coming like being milked massive dildo great enjoyed well news think Kris may get some cock later:happy0011:

Great see/here you two having fun. Can just see my Goddess doing something similar when open mouth wrong way make demands LOL

Hey all not updated for a while busy work boring vanilla stuff made time update blog One other reasons haven't blogged much nothing fun write about. Kris feeling down last week meant no play sex keep getting frustrated start criticize self alot when Kris feels like stupid thoughts Chris not attracted kinda thing Didn't feel right blog how felt wanted sit talk with Chris rather vent everything my blog have read it feel crap because of felt then us not talk think decision was though mood changed now had sex yesterday first time ages bit off fumble but good told me feels ready slave again Really happy like when Kris feel good doesn't issues (when don't either) means get back good stuff hehe! Think this round gonna take slow expecting everything fall completely place got good feeling about it

Things are current moment Kris and had major issues still taking slowly nice Feeling content relationship with Chris as well self Like closeness back seemed loose last week or so before things started good again Theres nothing kinky post really guess just wanted get feelings down my blog look doom gloom. Thing some play cards possibly tomorrow weekend normally time due work commitments hopefully something then

Glad hear alls well Kris,s Master hope weekend expect deserve:anim_37:

Thank you Allornowt Good weekend manage play had little drunken falling out with Chris thats what litres vodka will do ya tho hehe! Don wanna dwell though. Next day decided would need make him up whilst watching tv headed bedroom changed into jockstrap lay sleepsack ordered come through strip seemed happy oblige soon secured sleepsack after struggled buckles is don't function well hangover hooded unable see Kris rock hard whole time while sleepsack take opportunity wind slowly massaging cock close slap or pull hard loving it. Feeling left turned around sat face ordering service arse tongue felt good could easily screamed house hold back little rolled unzipped back zip expose arse gave fucking seemed help clear hangover done rolled kissed headed bedroom After cup tea ciggarette went Kris feeling warm clammy touch let go passionate made love just like first time felt alot close. Anyway we're week again needless play taken backseat ok with feel missing something don't Chris and been close since sunday seem doing separate things hope resolved weekend coupley time maybe more play

Being locked sleepsack sounds great bet really hot sweaty once released always fantastic feeling after bound tightly clingfilm tape then feel cool air rush over sweaty body Hmmmmm better go bathroom:anim_39:

glad hear all well Y/you two!

Thanks guys! So OMG!! things perfect moment Kris went through another what got into head rough patch Reality Chris just tired hard week work me being though turned one 'you dont find attractive' rants becoming moody git Skip saturday hinted wanted tied refused left conversation chat then roles switched fancied tied teased Chained hands headboard hooded took time bringing brink shocking ice hot wax amazing went ride hard brilliant never experienced sex like deprived sensory great After more talking pounced again had cuddling said want go back way BUT ultimatum want properly this time no more only weekends but all If didn't start happen wouldn't happen anymore Seems worked though Chris keen serve having amazing blow jobs whenever want quite smitten honest. Chris seems really at ease himself now like purpose Kidda like knows meant what said doesn't loose sub/dom relationship have would hard lose aspect think effort put both parties seen complete change Kris content way embrassing full time role times go back vanilla ways cuddle talk nice First time ages honestly Chris doing me proud honnoured be master loving loyal sub

:party0019: Glad things going well guys!:party-075: mikecb

Just letting everyone know I'm still around, I don't have much to blog about really. Kris' femming is going quite well; on Monday, I took him clothes shopping and helped him pick out some new panties. He seemed happy that I didn't get all worried and hide in my comfort zone in the mens section. I've also taught him how to do his eye makeup the way I like it. Kri's eyes looked really good when I did them, though he hasn't got the hang of it completely yet, so practice—and maybe a few flogs—might be needed. So anyway, I said there wasn't much to write about, but I promise I won't leave it this long before posting again.:manga_bunny:

:love0007: Welcome back... hope to hear more about your life soon!

Awesome, sounds like you two are doing great! That is good to hear. Keep us posted on the progress as it is good to hear the up side of things once in a while.

I'm sorry guys for neglecting my blog again; I've just been so busy with work and dealing with my birthday:anim_63:. Just lots of stuff! There has been so much happening since my last post. How do you fit two weeks' worth into one post? Hmmm, I don't think I'm even going to try. So I'll just get the main things off my chest. The first thing is a rant: Kris showed me a forum that was complaining about Mistress Watchfull and her review of Ess & Em (which is actually a great review). It has made me consider taking Kris there. It's really wound me up, actually pissed me off something chronic! But it also makes me think about the mansion; there are a few select individuals who I have seen making bitchy comments on others' posts. I know I haven't been part of the community that long and don't post as often as I would like, but that's the thing: it is a community! Why can't people embrace each other's views without getting all Tony Soprano-like and saying 'that's shit', 'I've been following this lifestyle since forever—in actual fact, I started it'—and that kind of bollocks! Mistress Watchfull, I know you are a strong person and probably already think so; the people who ranted and slated you are dickheads and just let it go over your head. Right, got that outta my system:whip: Now onto the good stuff. Kris has built a horse. It's the best thing in the world ever! It's got hooks so I can restrain his legs, wrists, and even his collar if I choose to. So far, I've fucked him a couple of times whilst he was restrained, but we haven't had time for a full-on play session with some teasing, maybe a bit of spanking—the good stuff, hehe! I've also made a little purchase which should be here by the end of the week. I'll post about that then so it's a surprise for Kris.

Thank you Kris' Master... and WOW on the horse! How fabulous to have such an adaptable submissive in the house!:jumping0045:

Just watched a spanking clip with someone restrained to a horse like that... it was sooo hot! I would love Mistress to strap me to a horse and spank my butt! I could easily build one but there is no room in our condo as it is, and we have three young adults living with us. When they move out, one of their bedrooms becomes a dungeon.

Hey all. The play session with the horse was amazing; I changed into my new jock (which was the surprise for Kris). He seemed to approve and said he liked it. I ordered him to strip naked and position himself on the horse. Once locked in, I teased him, playing with his nipples and cock. He came close many times but I wasn't having any of it; I wasn't going to let him cum. Whilst Kris was tied to the horse, I also used the flogger. I positioned myself so I sat on his back facing his arse so I could give him a good whipping. Kris was loving it. I asked him what was so good and he replied that I was being really dominant; that made me feel great. I untied Kris and we had some play around on the bed. We were both really horny, so when it came down to sex, I was a bit like a jackhammer. It was intense and ended with Kris and I cumming at exactly the same time (very hot). Afterwards, we had a little talk and have decided we want to try 24/7 play again; we'll see how we get on and keep everyone updated. Oh, and both Kris and I have new pics from the evening: Me in my new Jock and Kris on the Horse.

:jumping0044: Have we got pictures yet?!:sex020: Actually - we owe some pictures and a review of the PA5000, so I'll get to work on that and shut up!:manga_shout:

There are pictures here; the album is private though.

My pics are in my main album

Just checkin' in and letting everyone know I'm still alive. I've become a bit of a lurker recently. Kris and I went through a bit of a rough patch; we've come out of it stronger than ever though. We had a good, intense play session last night so I won't double blog as Kris has already posted about it. And seeing as Kris is posting links for future purchases, here's mine but I want them in red!

OH FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP ADDING TO MY CHRISTMAS LIST!!!!!:happy0187: Glad to see you around hun.:innocent0002:

> Mistress Watchful said: > OH FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP ADDING TO MY CHRISTMAS LIST!!!!!:happy0187: > Glad to see you around hun.:innocent0002: > Click to expand... Thank you; I've found loads of stuff from a really cool site. Like you said in your blog, there's a recession but balls to it! Needs must. Definitely going to get this jock And maybe this outfit as Kris has said a couple of times he'd like me to have a full one. So last night, Kris dropped the 24/7 bomb. He wants me to see him as my slave; this made me really horny at the thought of it, but I've got a niggle at the back of my mind: where does this leave the couple stuff? Is it up to me to make the first move, demand a hug and a kiss? Then am I going to get back to my old self-conscious ways of 'Kris doesn't want me because he doesn't hug me'? It's a bloody minefield. Yeah, it is an exciting prospect; I know it would be amazing if only I can get over my hang-ups. I know that outside of our sub/dom lifestyle Kris loves me to bits; just being silly, I guess, but I really can't help it. Think I need to start loving me for myself a lot more than trying to be something I want to be.

I shouldn't be allowed to look online at stuff when I'm broke. It's just saddened me that I want to buy everything but can't afford it. Kris even has a list now of goodies; best get saving the pennies, I think. So anyway, Saturday was interesting. I've taken my own advice and started to find a bit more time for myself. Kris was at work so I had the evening to myself; I decided I would dress up and have some me-time. I've always had hang-ups about 'sorting myself out' but for some reason, I was determined it was going to happen. I put some porn on and played with a selection of toys. If I'm honest, it was great and I came lots. I also managed to take some photos which I have posted in my album so Kris could see how much fun I'd had on my own. Things haven't been as playful since then, but we're back to our normal weekly routines of work and sleep. Hopefully things will perk up soon.

Yay for pictures! Sometimes you just have to self-indulge; I think DIY sex is free in the recession-struck world!

KM, I can see your concern here. My Wife and I are very affectionate types too. I think it's important to remember that by asking to go 24/7, Kris is making it very clear that YOU are the center of his world. I think another thing you might do is simply ORDER him to do the "cuddly stuff" for you. Many slaves have lists of daily duties they are expected to perform or be punished for. In a way, this could be reinforcing for you two. If he is ordered to be cuddly every day and follows orders, you will feel great. The intimacy between you will be enhanced. If he slacks off, punish him. As a slave, that attention lets him know that you are attentive to his needs for discipline. In that masochistic way we bottoms work, it makes HIM feel closer to you. Then, of course, there's the aftercare! Sometimes half the fun of fighting is the making up!;-p mikecb

Kris hasn't been feeling too well recently, meaning I'm back in my stupid mindset that I am the reason Kris doesn't want me. I wish I could get over it! It's becoming a nightmare now. It's upsetting Kris because he feels bad about not 'putting out', and it's upsetting me because I'm upsetting him; but I just need the closeness we get from sex and the feeling of being wanted. Stupid vicious circles, eh? The 24/7 discussion has only reinforced my feelings. I got super horny from Kris saying that he wanted that and it would mean I could have whatever I wanted. This is no attack on Kris; I don't want it to read like one. Kris is my world; it's just my stupid emotions, and I need to get them out. It's easier for me to do it here than face-to-face because then it just turns into a massive rant which I don't want. Last night, Kris and I had sex. I was put back by the fact that Kris was topping me; this added to my massive confusion. It didn't feel right. I wanted it but I didn't want it that way (I'm not making any sense, I know). Kris said he knows I love being penetrated when I am. This is true, I do, but at the same time, I felt like I should be on top because of recent discussions. It feels like everything is up in the air at the moment. The 'after 9pm sex rut' that an article I just read about has put it; Cosmopolitan Magazine calls it a rut. We seem to be stuck in one. I don't think porn is helping either, as now I feel like we should be having amazing spontaneous marathon sex sessions and I feel all fat because of it too. I don't have a toned body; I'm not exactly thin either. I guess I didn't like riding Kris last night because he could see me in all my lumpy-bumpy glory. I just want things to be good again. I don't mean that in terms of our relationship (although that seems to be taking a bit of a knock); I mean the sex. I want to be in charge again; I want to lose weight and get over my stupid feelings.

Things are good again, not amazing but so I'm feeling content. I'm kinda Master again, and we are enjoying some play, but I want more! Work seems to be the big thing that puts a downer on our sub/dom relationship; it tires us both out and means there is little time for play. We seem to have all our play at weekends now. That's getting me down a little. For me, playtime is great for escaping and releasing my strains from work; it's just that when push comes to shove, neither Kris nor I feel up to it. Put that with the fact that it's now getting darker early; it's pretty much a recipe for disaster. I don't like it at all! I hope Kris and I can find some momentum to have good play and keep things fresh.

I know how you feel. The more we get into this the more I think D/s is for retirement!!!! It's so hard to find time and energy at the same moment!:manga_exclaim:

I know what you mean MW. Hope your having an amazing time in the US. Things are on the quiet side again; it isn't a bad thing though. I think the dry patch meant that Kris and I got a lot off our chests. We both know where we stand now and aren't expecting everything to be amazing all of the time, just some of the time.:sex024: I think that's helping us both a lot as we ain't feeling all the stress to be 100% consistent because we know life will get in the way. Kris has come to an agreement with me now: he will be butch some of the time rather than being a full-time sissy. That has made me happy because visuals turn me on; Kris in a jockstrap is a massive turn-on. He makes a pretty sissy too, so I get the best of both. On Friday, I did Kris's hair and makeup. He then changed into his favourite dress; he looked really beautiful. A shame we didn't get any pics, but I'm sure there will be many more opportunities though.

I'm in a strange mindset again now; Kris and I have had yet another bout of no play and no sex. It wasn't all Kris' fault; I had been ill and some other stuff happened. I started getting my stupid feelings of unattractiveness back. If you have read Kris' blog, then you will know things are on the up again. I'm in two minds now: my Master side wants to do what Kris has talked about—having a 24/7 slave whom I can fuck at my will just to get off. I don't think in all the time we have been together that I have given him a 100% selfish fuck. The idea of it really turns me on. But then my vanilla side keeps saying that I should care about sex with Kris, that I should make sure he is enjoying it and getting off too. From what Kris has said though, he probably would get off more if I just threw aside my inhibitions and went wild. I just need to pick the right moment; yesterday was good but I needed Kris to tell me to fuck him before I started. I guess I am a little scared of hurting him; I know that in the heat of the moment, I could get carried away. Hopefully, I'll be able to post soon about how it goes and put my worries and reservations aside just once.

As I have said elsewhere, you need to be at the next Gathering! Talking to the other Dommes was great help for me. My idols were there talking about how difficult it can sometimes be and how real life gets in the way. Don't be too hard on yourself. How about you be Kris' Master 24/7... be yourselves, and not what others expect a 24/7 lifestyle to be! If you are happy, Kris will be happy and vice versa. You are both grown-ups; if you aren't happy, you are capable of saying so. How about you dive in and do the things you want? I think you'll be surprised at how much fun you'll have!

Things are going amazingly well at the moment; Kris has already posted about events so I won't double post. Instead, I'm just writing down my feelings and such. I am happy and content right now; I haven't felt this way for ages. I feel all content with Kris and how things are going. I've noticed we seem to be a lot closer than ever before. I think that shows in the kind of play we have been having, breath play being the biggest part of that. We have gone from never doing it to making it frequent; the level of trust is huge, and it seems to bring us really close afterwards. I've noticed my orgasms seem stronger now also, which is great for me. They are more explosive, and I cum a lot more. Always good. Think I've finally managed to get my head around my confidence issues too; started thinking this is what I look like: deal with it and do things to help become who I want to be. This has made me much more sexually confident and at ease with how I look, which helps me be a more confident Master to Kris. Hope things carry on well; will keep updating.

Having a downer day at the moment. Not feeling too dominant and it sucks. I need to get my shit together again: take stock and get myself back to normal. Things have been a little anti-climatic after that really intense play session, and we seem to be getting vanilla again. I don't want this; I don't feel like initiating any play. I just want cuddles and to feel special. Kris and I had a stupid drunken row last night which hasn't helped things. I got snappy and Kris told me to 'shut up'. This has completely thrown me off guard, I think: here's my supposed dom letting him get away with it! Instead of chaining him up and flogging his arse until he realized that kind of behaviour is unacceptable, I just snapped back and went into a mood. Think some online outfit shopping is needed; that normally puts me back into perspective. If I am happy with how I look then I am usually more willing to dominate.

You two need to find some compromise when there is alcohol involved... or just DON'T DRINK!:ten-on-ten: You both know what happens when you've been off partying and making merry with the vodka. You also know what happens the day after: you get that MEGA crash, feel like crap, and get depressed... I think because you are both young and still need to party that you have to say to each other "tonight we are drinking, and you know what we're like... how about we try and remember to check what we're saying/doing? But tomorrow is a day off; we both chill, eat chocolate, and watch bad movies on TV" then get back at it once your stomachs settle and you return to normal! It's getting to that time of year again. I bet you'll be out partying wayyyyy too much (ok, so I'm jealous!:sign0011:)). Just remember: keep an eye on how much you're drinking and make the choice—to play or get hammered! You can't have it all ways!:party0023:

Thanks MW, I reckon the issue is that I really do enjoy vodka, quite a lot!:party0036: lol! So anyway, I've finally managed to set up a new rule where Kris has to make the first move when it comes to pleasuring me. This way, he feels that desired sense of control while I get to feel wanted (I know he wants me, but 'wanted' is the only word that fits). Kris will be conditioned to worship my cock as soon as I get hard; it's going to take a fair bit of effort, but it should be fun. Last night, Kris asked if I preferred a t-girl or a sissy. It’s quite a lot to process and not a choice I feel I can rush into; I think I’ll need some time to weigh things up. The conversation was super hot, made even hotter by the fact that he was riding me at the time. Part of me is worried about it because I’m partial to Kris in a jockstrap and don’t want to lose that dynamic since it’s a huge turn-on for me. Kris has come up with a compromise: from now on, his jocks should be pink. I'm sure I'll figure out what I want eventually; just going to take things as they come.

Good luck with deciding Kris's "fate". I can only imagine your heated discussion about it. That must have been awesome!:anim_19: Regarding the drinking... It honestly does sound like your occasional binges often turn into arguments. Perhaps it’s time to examine whether drinking is really as enjoyable as you thought!;-) I come from a long line of alcoholics and was heading that way myself. I count it a blessing that my low blood sugar issues make drinking unpleasant for me. By the time I feel the alcohol, my body feels like CRAP! This makes it much easier to have one or two drinks and say "enough". It’s reached a point where most of my associations with heavy drinking are negative rather than positive. I no longer crave it heavily. You might want to consider whether drinking a lot truly gives you a good time, or if it just *supposedly* does. I found out it wasn't all it was cracked up to be! Upon examination, maybe you will too. hehe Hugs to you both! mikecb

Thanks MW & Mike, I think a few weekends without alcohol are in order; well, we'll see:manga_drunk: So last night I discovered that I don't make a good sub at all! Submission isn’t really in me. I’ve been given more responsibility at work. It’s good but very stressful, so Kris decided that maybe having one night as the submissive might help; I felt we both needed it too. When I got home, Kris had me change into a collar and jockstrap. It was a massive turn-on initially, but my interest in submitting slowly waned. He ordered me to cook tea—the last thing I could be bothered with—and while I grumbled a bit, I did it because I was hungry. Later that night, Kris put me in the sleepsack. Things were going well until he used a jelly vibrating cock ring and hurt my cock—not once, but twice. I shouted at him for hurting me; I know it was accidental, but it still hurt and I didn’t like it. This sent me into a mood, especially since I needed a cigarette. Then Kris decided I should be left alone to cool down. That helped somewhat, though I kept thinking about undoing myself and getting out; deciding against it might have been the wrong move. Kris came back in and started teasing me. It was good until he wanted me to beg. This got worse because I had to beg for him to cum on my face! I was so annoyed by this, honestly livid. Kris is supposed to be the sub, not me; what was he thinking? I knew this would seriously mess up our normal roles, so I refused. I didn’t want Kris to cum. I expressed my anger at his suggestion until he let me out. I threw all the toys off the bed and sulked. Then I decided that I didn’t want to be master anymore—it was a spontaneous remark made in tiredness and anger. We eventually made up; there were some tears from me, but we’re good now. I’ve read Kris’s blog, and I just want to state one thing: I do not think submission is bad, nor do I look down on it or feel too superior for it. I have always been the dominant partner in this relationship, so switching was always going to be difficult. Add that to my tiredness and everything else happening right now, and it was just too much. Hopefully things will return to normal with me back in charge.:spankwhip:

What on EARTH are you two like! This happened pretty much when pet took the reins in Ess and Emm that first time. I may be a switch myself, but I’m just even more bratty than HE is! Lmao! I'm off to read Kris's side of events now.

Hugs. Well, I guess you should chalk that up as a learning experience. Here’s hoping work becomes less stressful for you soon!:-) mikecb