Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

Greetings everyone. First off, I want to apologize for my imperfect English – it isn’t my native tongue. This is actually my first post here. Why am I writing? Because I have a strong feeling that I need to share my thoughts with people who truly understand this path. Among my friends, I’m slightly worried they might not show enough understanding.

Let me tell you about myself. I am a 31-year-old man living in a happy marriage. I believe my journey into chastity is perhaps a bit different from some of yours:)

In the past, I was drawn to strong, dominating women. Not in the classical BDSM sense, but I liked it when a woman could act as a leader, even regarding sexual matters. My biggest dream was having a woman who controls my orgasm and allows me to climax only when she chooses. I had some relationships that were good and others not so much, but I never really found a woman with genuine interest in such things (back then I knew nothing about chastity devices or the like).

One day I started at a new job and met my current wife. She was pretty, smart, and genuinely funny. We began dating after knowing each other for three years. Since we were friends first, by the time we dated, I already knew her well. I knew she came from a relatively strict Christian family, but she was tolerant (they go to church fairly often; I only join them on Christmas and Easter, they don’t force me, and I am happy with that). Because of this background, she wasn’t particularly high-drive regarding sex – she didn’t show much interest in it. She wasn’t a virgin (I am her second partner), but we had sex relatively rarely, once every month or two months (it depended). We used condoms, though she wasn’t entirely happy with them due to her strong Christian beliefs. The interesting part was that the denial she gave me most of the time felt quite exciting for me. I tried having sex often because I find her sexy and get horny fairly frequently, but she would say no. It was somewhat frustrating yet very exciting knowing I wasn’t in charge. During this period, I masturbated relatively often – about three to five times a week. My wife didn’t like it much, so I had to do it discreetly so she wouldn’t know (this was when we were still just dating). To complete the picture: she is a lovely person who truly cares for me; her denial in bed and sex life is strong; I loved her in the past, love her now, and am sure I will love her in the future.

The game-changer came as we started talking about our wedding. One day she approached me with a relatively serious face and told me that if I marry her, I must obey her rules regarding sex. She explained that she knows a healthy man sometimes needs an orgasm release but is quite uncomfortable with the idea of me masturbating all over our house, which she dislikes deeply. She mentioned she had been thinking about it; she knows I can make promises not to masturbate, but as a man, when I get horny, holding my word constantly will be impossible. So she proposed that she would lock me in – that was the first time I heard of chastity devices. I was really confused. On one hand, I felt like she might take away part of my masculinity; on the other, this was somewhat coming true as a dream for me.

I took some days to think and then agreed. It took a while to find a suitable device. The first few weeks were very uncomfortable, but I got used to it. I am not locked all the time. I am usually locked when I am alone – for instance, when she is on a work trip (she travels more often than me) – which is when she cannot really control me directly, or in situations where she decides it is necessary. Whenever I am home alone, I always have my sealed emergency key nearby to be sure (in case something happens).

Since being locked before the wedding, we had no sex for two years until last month (I’ll get to that later). My wife decided that from the time I was placed in chastity, sex would only be for making children. I did have some releases during this period – such as on my wedding night. The wedding night was a bit strange sexually speaking. She wanted me to have an orgasm, so she decided I should masturbate and to make it better, I could touch her naked breasts. Oh man, it felt strange but on the other hand, I had a really strong climax.

In our “standard life,” I am allowed to masturbate one to three times a month (mostly in the bath). Sometimes (every two or three months), I can masturbate while she is present and touch her body as I do so. Don’t get confused though; in normal life, we are very intimate. We hug frequently every day, often lie down naked together hugging, kissing, touching each other, and talking a lot (I remain locked during these moments). She feels relaxed that I won’t push her boundaries, and I find our interaction more romantic and gentle than before.

The situation changed last month – she came to me and said she wants to have a baby, as do I. But regarding sex specifically, after those two years of denial, she has little interest in it now. We talked quite a bit about how to make things comfortable for her, and eventually decided that before sex, I could masturbate to the edge (in the bath) and then go into our bedroom to cum inside her quickly. We had this type of sex five times this month. None lasted more than 20-30 seconds, but surely enough, those were my best and strongest orgasms yet. Now we are waiting to see if she gets her period.

So what do you think? Please don’t judge my wife too harshly – she is a lovely person who makes my dreams come true in a strange way (to be honest – there are times when I am really, very horny and it’s frustrating not having an orgasm, but considering our overall life together, our sex life dynamics, and my desires, I am happy).

I hope my poor English hasn’t caused too many misunderstandings.

Does your wife have no sexual desire at all?