Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

Where are all the dominant women at? I’ve been searching for a mistress for 10 years. I am a good looking guy. I’ve dated tons of women. Every time I’ve tried to expose them to my submission side, it turns them off. Ever since 50 Shades of Grey became popular. I noticed that women are more into the idea of BDSM. But every time I’ve tried to introduce the kinky side in an relationship the lady always wants to be the submissive one. I don’t understand why I can’t find a lady who wants to be in control of me. I’m really into chastity. Logic, would think that a women would want control over a man’s penis. That way they know that your completely loyal to only her. I don’t know, maybe it’s my demeanor. I am a confident, take charge person in public. Maybe that’s why I can find a submissive women but not a dominant one. Any thoughts?

Guess it depends on where you've been looking. Have you tried any kink groups/clubs that might be in your area? Fetlife or any other online kinkster website?

I have a fetlife account. That website is so hard to navigate searching for dominant women in my area. I've never attended an the fetish meeting in my area. But I have messaged a couple of people on fetlife who do attend them. The information that I got from them is that the people who do attend are their normal crowd. I asked if there were any dominant women and the answer I received is that their all taken.

I was reading a study on dom/sub prevalence across gender and found in a study of a bunch (a few thousand people If I recall) of BDSMers only 4 percent of women identify as dommes. Sooo if you take this into account in addition to the fact that pracitioners of bdsm make up a small percentage of the general population finding a real domme is like finding a goddamn unicorn. Fetlife would definitely narrow it down though! Good luck!

Contrary to what most see and read in porn, most women are not looking to dominate men. That is why you have so many men posting about finding a dominant woman. Most people want normal relationships. Those relationships can involve BDSM like mine did, but I have only known two women who had alpha personalities. I was sexually submissive to both; one for 30 years. My wife is submissive and yet she will paddle my butt once in awhile and is my strict keyholder. However, those are sexual roles we drift into and out of as the mood strikes us. I was grew up and got married in the pre-internet days so I had a realistic view of sex when I dated and married. These days many guys are learning about sex from porn. They expect women to behave like the paid porn actresses do. They see paid dominant women pretend they are dominating their husband or actually do so for the camera only, to make money. I read so many posts that read like fantasy here and elsewhere. Just check out the posts of many new members whose real life story read like a porn novel almost word for word. Even if you find a free dominant, you will be competing with hundreds of thousand of other men who are looking for the same thing. If you want it you have two choices. The first is pay for it. The other choice is actually getting out there and meeting as many girls as you can and weeding out the ones who are not sexually adventuresome. Most guys stop at the first girl who gives them sex on a regular basis rather than move on to try to find one that gives them sex the way they want it. I had sex with 20 women and dated a lot more, by the time I was 20 before I found my wife. Not many wives will enjoy watching their husbands have sex with their girlfriends and being OK if they dated other women too. I started out with a virgin but knew before we got married that she would be my perfect sex partner. She was a blank slate and willing to try any thing once. I got to teach her all she knows about sex. These days guys are used to getting a lot of things online from Amazon or other online retailers. They try to meet girls online too but when it comes to fetish sex, you are fighting a losing battle to find a dominant woman. Join which is free and join all the other men looking for a dominant woman with no luck. Get out there and date to find someone who is or is sexually adventurous. That is what I did and it worked for me. Even if you meet a girl who deeply loves you, there is a chance that they will try to satisfy your fetish. My wife got her best friend to take care of that for her. I was often sexually submissive to our girlfriend while my wife liked me to take charge in bed. I kissed a lot of frogs to find my princess and that is what it takes to have a long and happy fetish life.

Hi Quite simply most women are looking for a man who will provide and protect them. Don't say old fashioned serotype it's just how it is . The ladies you are looking for do exist but as others have said are few and far between. Clubs are maybe the best way of finding what you want however you are going to be one of a big crowd looking for the same. You may be lucky and hit it off but it's a lot more than crawling and being sickly submissive. A good sub has an interesting personality . Xx Wendy

> Wendygirl said: > Hi > Quite simply most women are looking for a man who will provide and protect them. > Don't say old fashioned serotype it's just how it is . > The ladies you are looking for do exist but as others have said are few and far between. > Clubs are maybe the best way of finding what you want however you are going to be one of a big crowd looking for the same. > You may be lucky and hit it off but it's a lot more than crawling and being sickly submissive. A good sub has an interesting personality . > Xx Wendy > Click to expand... Hey Wendy I agree with you that most women are looking for a man to provide and protect them. That was the hardest part for me in disclosing to my wife my fantasies. She was afraid that it meant I was gay. I had to assure her that though my kinks and sexual fantasies center around me being submissive to her that I promised to be a strong man in the outside world and did not desire to be with men. I do the manly work that needs to be done like the yard work and splitting wood for heat and all those things. This seemed to ease her mind about this and let it open up. Now we are fairly deeply into it and we couldn't be happier. Though as I am learning that this is an organically growing lifestyle my kinks are changing and so are hers. We have discussed her having a real cock in me instead of just the strap-on she uses. Not sure if we will go down that road but it has had my mind doing circles ever since. But she knows I am her man and that won't change even though I now do the bulk of cooking and cleaning. Tonight it is Alaskan King Crab legs and Filet Mignon over wood fired grill. Nothing but the best for my sweet Mistress that lets me have my Kinks and play them too!!