Journals and blogs discussion

**It appears my sissy boy is leading the way on this platform, so I figured it made sense for me to start a diary/journal too. Yesterday was enjoyable. I took Slave Kris out to get pierced, which offered him a method of chastisement without needing his CB device (Gender dynamics make that tricky since he dislikes the extra bulk and neosteel isn’t cheap). The piercing itself turned out great (you can see photos on his profile). Sitting outside waiting for him gave me this wonderful sense of pride watching him willing to modify his body just for my sake—the readiness to serve and be possessed! I absolutely love it! I’m so content, eagerly awaiting the healing process so his true chastity journey can truly start!!

slave

Welcome **Master**. I am thrilled that you chose to begin a diary chronicling the distinguished life of your new **slave**, Kris, and all the delights and pleasures found under the rule of a Truly Superior and Creative Master like yourself. I'm certain as The MASTER, you desire to own, control completely, and take total ownership and possession of your newest plaything... and what better way than having it PIERCED! I shall eagerly wait to hear ALL about your delicious misadventures... Thank You... ever so much! ...an admiring fan

**So last night **slave** Kris and I were in bed when I began playing with his nipples. I know he enjoys it greatly, but too much stimulation can overwhelm him. Feeling playful, I continued for about half an hour; watching him squirm around amused me immensely. It even reached a point where he let out a very feminine moan, which surprised me. I think the **nipple clamp**s will be removed tonight. Last night was quite fun, and nipple play seems to encourage his sissy side. I can't wait for his nipples to be pierced; I know firsthand how pleasurable it is to have them played with since I have one myself. **:tongue::tongue:**

**Yesterday Kris told me he wanted to be put back into his CB device, which was quite a surprise to be honest because we've had one or two issues with it. However, when he said it, I felt really happy! After some thought, I decided it was for the best and ordered him to present it so I could **lock** him back up (where I believe he belongs). He then announced he wanted to become my dog again (how we started before his sissy side emerged). It feels strange now (in a good way); I seem to be at my most **dominant**, just like in the past. I feel very happy dominating this silly little dog **slave**, and there are more options for play available. I'm very content, and Kris seems to have stepped back slightly, letting me decide what happens and when. I am so happy right now! I feel complete again and can clearly see how much Kris wishes to submit. Pics of my sexy pup will be uploaded later so you can all see!**:bigsmile:**

Ohh I love pictures!:wink: Isn't it wonderful when they actually start behaving for once! The pet is doing very well since being relocked this time, though we are only on day 2!

**The photos are uploaded! Head over to Slave_Kris's profile and check out my gorgeous sissy pup!**

Ohhhhhhhhhh I *love* the pictures! So cute and so obedient. I always thought that hood looked a bit scary in the catalogues, but with those pink frillies, he's just adorable!

**Last night I finally gave in to myself and let Slave Kris cum. This wasn't one of the easiest decisions; I know that when he has shot, he is less willing to submit because he isn't horny anymore. Over the last few days, I've been telling him how much I missed his release, and it seemed like he wanted it more with each passing day. On one hand, I'm glad he came (ohh, how I've missed the taste of his warm cum), but now I worry that he won't want to submit or play anymore! ARGH! Why are things never simple?**

Perhaps a firm hand, and some SERIOUS teasing and denial for a day or two will "reset" your sissy back to normal? Good luck! mikecb

**Feeling miserable today. Slave Kris doesn't seem as receptive to teasing since he came. Argh!! I'm so annoyed! Almost resentful! Can't help feeling he should have been a stronger sissy and resisted cumming. If he had, we wouldn't be in this situation! And maybe it's my fault for wanting him to cum, missing that taste, needing it almost! I feel like I'm crashing; I can't be bothered to play or train or do anything because deep down I know he won't want it. It feels like a mega rut! I am so FUMING right now with myself!! ARGH!!! Has any other dom/mistress had an experience like this? I really need advice so I can get back to normal.**:sad:

Ohhhhhhhhhhh absolutely! And your slave is bratty just like my pet; they are so similar! My little one turns into such a whiny brat the day after cumming that I can't bear it and wonder why I ever let him cum in the first place. They aren't grateful at all, are they?:sad: I do think this is one of the most difficult times, and you get that awful sinking feeling... I suppose you just have to be firmer with them for a few days until they slip back into subspace. But I'm not really an expert on this matter!

**Haven't had much time to update recently (Kris has been keeping you all informed though):wink: Things are very cool right now. Kris has become such a loyal little sissy. Last night I was very horny and decided I wanted summit up my arse for a change. I was playing with Kris and asked if he wanted me to ride his sissy clit (part of me hoped he said yes), but then I remembered how low and sad I felt when he had cum. I ordered him to put on the strap-on, which I'm normally a little scared of due to its size. Basically thought 'what the hell':tongue: I'm so glad I did because I really enjoyed myself and could tell Kris was more than happy to see me like that. All is good!:angel:**

**Today I've reached a point where I'm demanding Kris take a backseat in our sub/dom relationship. The constant power struggle is frankly getting on my nerves, so I've had to take some measures. As I type this, Kris is bound and blindfolded in the cupboard (he's loving it because he's hard as hell):tongue: I've left him there to think about why he should be taking a backseat and how crap he makes me feel when he demands play and attention. I hope this works. He can be such a loyal sissy when he wants to; I know he has it in him. I want him to understand that he can't have play all the time because he has chores and other less fun things to do! All reward and no work, well he's gonna learn!:tongue: I'm going back now to see how his training and confinement are going. I shall be back soon with an update, and maybe some pics.**

**Things are proper looking up now; I'm very happy!! Kris and I had a romantic (no play) kind of night last night. I think we needed it after the issues raised on Saturday. It was ace. We ate crap food and watched Leon (one of my favorite films; you should watch if you haven't). Still feeling a bit tense, though, so I asked Kris to give me a massage. It felt so nice having him remove all my tension—the fact he was using baby oil had me hard too,:tongue: I knew I wanted an orgasm but wasn't expecting the mind-blowing blow job!:smilies_xxx10: Writing this and remembering it is getting me turned on! All is good. Hand on heart, I love Kris more than ever now.**

> Things are proper looking up now; I'm very happy!! > Click to expand... Do you have the proper Northern accent that goes with that comment?! I'm glad things are looking up... it's a roller coaster ride, isn't it?

I hope not. But down south we probably sound like scousers. We like to think we live in the south of the north. Both feel connected to London; every time we go there we love it and fit right in.

Oh don't get me wrong... I love the Northern accent! And all those affectionate terms too: pet, lass, duck... depending on how far North you are!

NOT THAT FAR NORTH:tongue:. Up North is rubbish. The best good night out I've had was in Camden last year at the Festival of Sins. Was wearing my PCV corset and a collar. Wouldn't be able to do that around here. Although bnysarah says Club Lash in Manchester is quite good.

**Last night was amazing! We went out for a few drinks which then turned into more back home. I'm jumping the gun a little here; before we went out, we had a good chat about play (or rather, the lack of it). This was because Kris had been moody the previous night since we didn't play; he felt tired and I didn't want to push him knowing that if I did, the weekend play would be crap. When I told him I still planned for us to play that evening, he threw a massive wobbly, rolled over, and went to sleep (deep down I knew he'd be annoyed). Part of me wanted to piss him off because I was pissed off at the lack of play!!! Jeez it's more me than Kris now:tongue: So back to last night. Once his friends had gone, I decided to sneak off to the bedroom and slip into my black hotpants (or 'master pants' as they seem to be named). Kris was logging on to the community (we've become like junkies, checking in whenever we get a chance):tongue: I went over to him and started playing with his nipples, then ordered him to stay put. I came back with some cuffs and tied his hands behind his back. The torturing continued for a short while. I decided that since he was online, he should update his blog. Being tied up as he was, he had to recite it to me so I could type it up (this really helped because I got deep into what his thoughts were; he doesn't seem comfortable telling me directly but writes happily in his journal). Well, everything came out and I was happy knowing exactly where we both stood. The mind-blowing sex that followed kinda cleared things up too!**:anal:

**Things have taken a strange turn for me. I've always been nervous about having things in my arse; so nervous that when Kris was making love to me, I'd tense up and be in real pain. This is where we got the strange part: A few weeks ago, both Kris and I were really horny. I decided it was time to overcome my silly fear and act like a man:tongue: so I ordered him to put on the strap-on so I could ride him. This drove him wild!! Things went quiet after that; there was no more arse play. Then all of a sudden (I don't know what's come over me), on Sunday night we rode together on a 20-inch double ender. That's quite a shock to me because of its size, but then last night Kris was riding me and I ordered him to pleasure me with a small dildo. He came back with two: one small and the second slightly bigger. I was really horny and enjoying myself so much that I ordered him to use both of them in my arse at the same time!! This isn't like me at all; I've gone from being terrified of having things up there to having the greediest ar ever! It's so fun though, and it drives Kris wild! This has got me thinking: are we all slaves to our nervousness? (Carrie Bradshaw moment here; shame I can't smoke in the house):tongue: I've read a couple of posts where people have worries—submitting, losing their domination, even wanting to leave the lifestyle—and you know what I say? Sod it! (Was going to use the f-word but thought I'd be good:angel!) Why should we let our emotions and fears control us?? It's because of them that you may never experience some of the greatest feelings in the whole world. Now all this butt talk has me horny; where is Kris when you need him?! Jeez, that was a big post for me!! **

Lol... I know many of my own personal fears come from not doing things "right," but who says what's right and wrong? MasterG is an expert on this and always reminds me of two things: *I* make the rules, so if I'm enjoying it, it doesn't matter what some Domme-in-a-book says... and secondly, "those who can, do; those who can't, talk about it!" I have no idea why so many of us struggle to just let go and do what feels nice. I'm sure we'd be much happier if we just went with the flow!

**I just watched Sex and the City; it was all about fetish. My head is full of things to write, but Kris has made me feel a little hmmmm about blogging. He says I'll end up ripping off Carrie Bradshaw (well she's my idol, so get over it Kris haha!):tongue: There was a scene where Stanford went to an underwear fetish club, which made me think of myself. I think I've developed a bit of a pants fetish (that seems to be costing me a small fortune). There's nothing better than wearing some funky pants and seeing Kris in them too. It is a bit difficult now though because he seems more comfortable in frillies:tongue: Last night, while in bed, Kris talked about the 'c' word again (as I've named it), which drives him wild thinking of me getting pleasured by a guy with a bigger:penisdance: At first I was totally disgusted when he mentioned it; if I'm truthful, I hated the idea. Kept thinking, "If you love me, why suggest that?!!!" But now I know it's because he loves me and wants to see me happy. I am happy with Kris though... ohhh life is so bizarre sometimes with what it chucks in your face leaving you totally confused. This blog isn't making much sense!:ooh: Think I'll blog again tomorrow **

Well it made complete sense to me if that's any help!:xd:

Agreed. As a cuckold (and one who has had all these conversations with his Wife), I totally get where you are coming from. The best thing is to be honest and talk openly with your partner... which you are doing!

**Seems like ages since I last posted, so I think I'm going to get back into the swing of things. Lots has happened since my last blog. The main event seems to be that Kris now has crutches and a cast; silly sissy:tongue: Things are a bit weird at the moment. I can tell Kris wants nothing more than to serve and be loyal, yet it's me who is doing all the housework!:chores007: And running around after him makes me knackered; I'm working then doing chores. I want to be master but feel unsure (bitterly so); just when things were looking up they've crashed again. It isn't his fault though, it was an accident.:crossedlips: I feel like I've peaked again; I'm on top of my master game. I surprised myself and Kris on Friday when he did some washing and didn't turn my t-shirts inside out. He got a hell of a spanking!:sex020: I was all horny at how dominant I was, and Kris seemed to love it!:wink: I'm sitting in my master pants (little black hotpants) again now. Kris doesn't think it's fair that I can dress up and he can't, lol! I just want to show him that I'm still me even though I'm the one doing all the running around, and I feel really good about myself too.**

You're right... it was an accident, and you should look at it as a bit of a challenge. Can you assert yourself while doing the chores and looking after Kris? If you can... when you return to full D/s-dom, I'm sure you'll be all the stronger!

Great advice, Mistress Watchful. Also, keep in mind that part of being a dominant is taking care of your submissives so that you can play with them again. Being dominant isn't just about sitting there whipping your submissive when it pleases you while they wait on hand and foot. Dominance is a state of mind. I suppose the truest test of any D/s relationship (as many of us discover day-to-day) is trying to meld D/s and reality. It's very tough, and sometimes just doesn't work that well.:squigglemouth: Glad to hear you were able to get your head back into the right space and have some fun with your sissy.

**Haven't updated in a while; loads has happened. Kris hurt his foot as I'm sure all who read his and my diaries are aware. I'm so tired at the moment. It feels like I'm doing the work of two people (Kris is helping though). I feel stuck in a vanilla rut! ARGH!!!:tongue: Get up, get ready for work, go to work, come home, do housework, cook for us both, go to bed, repeat the next day. I Hate it!!!:sad: With all this and being tired, I've been a complete tw*t with Kris; snappy and bouncy. I keep telling myself we're in this situation because of him: no play, me doing all the 'sissy' chores, and it's his fault! I hate feeling like this, holding resentment for the one person in the whole world that I love with all my heart. I guess I want to say sorry but am too pig-headed to do so right now. So I'll order Kris to read this post (maybe that will help me feel a bit more masterful by giving orders; oh how I've missed that). Hope everyone else is good, and reckon I need to keep this diary more up-to-date.**

Every cloud has a silver lining! I'm sure this break will help you streamline your needs regarding "sissy chores." With you doing them to your standards, Kris will have a lot to live up to! How long until he's back on his feet? (pun intended!)

**Yay! Kris is back on his feet! Happy now. Things seem slowly to be getting back to normal, and a spanking session made sure Kris remembered the rules he has to follow as my sissy again. It feels like this big weight has been lifted off me; I was scared to be dominant because of Kris's pain and soreness with his injury. I kept giving him little teasers but then my judgment would make me back down. Now I'm back to my old self, feeling great, and Kris seems pretty happy too!**

Hmmmm.... should we be delighted for Kris or worried!

Good for You! I certainly love hearing about all the fun things you two do:tongue: I wonder.. is figging in the future?:crossedlips:

**Things have been a little quiet since my last update. I haven't been too well, which was a bit of a blow considering the amazing training session we had and the brilliant sex that followed. Think that's caused me to feel a little down; feeling slightly better so hopefully normal service will resume shortly. Kris seems to be making more recovery each day. Can't wait until I feel he is completely healed and ready to be my full-time sissy slave. He's getting good now; helped me with some housework yesterday and has started cooking again! (thank god! My cooking is poor compared to his). It looks like he is slowly getting back into the swing of things. All that's missing now is a corset and some heels *think I'll suggest this later*:tongue: Mistress Watchful - No need to worry about Kris; he's a big girl now and can take whatever is thrown at him, lol!! Newsub4a - Figging is a possibility. I've looked into it and think it could be very interesting. Will post about how and when it happens; will be in the not too distant future, me thinks.:wink:**

> Think that's caused me to feel a little down > Click to expand... Dom drop maybe? That loss of endorphins affects Doms just as it does subs! > figging .... will be in the not too distant future, me thinks > Click to expand... The same for us! Goddess finds it an interesting idea and as soon as our child goes back to college we are going to give it a try at... work schedule allowing!

**Think you're right newsub4a. I seem to be in a massive dom drop at the moment; I'm ill, Kris is tired, and nothing seems to be going right. Kris made love to me on Monday night by my request. I informed him beforehand that he would not cum as he needs to remain loyal and submissive. He seemed to take it on board but then started pinning me down and fucking me; he came:sad: I didn't even have the energy to punish his selfish act. Felt like shit, rolled over, and went to sleep—annoyed at him for what he did, and annoyed at myself for letting him get away with it. Yesterday Kris was tired and I was still grouchy from feeling ill and processing last night's events. I want to be the dom I was before; the dom who felt good about himself, thought he looked pretty hot, and would never have allowed Kris's selfishness. Today is another day, I guess.**

> he seemed to take that on board but then he was pinning me down and fucking me, he came > Click to expand... Curious, did he tell You he was close to cumming? Several times? i only ask because i have had this happen to me where Goddess wanted the sex and would not let me stop even though i warned Her i was close (on several occasions). She was not too upset that i came... disappointed maybe and after talking to some Domme friends took responsibility for not listening to my warnings and simply let it go. Bottom line, if it was accidental during the "heat of the moment" i say let it go (after he knows You are disappointed in his actions) and move on. BUT (there is always one but isn't there?:wink: ) if he cums in a selfish way, then **punishment** is in order. To be honest, if he was truthful in his journal i don't think it was selfish, i think it was a slip up when he was trying to please You, but i was not there Sir, You were. Hope You are feeling better (it's probably that darn dreary English weather You have over there!:wink: )

Sounds like he needs to be tossed in the cupboard again!;-)

My (completely inexperienced and quite possibly useless) opinion from my heart is let this one go. As you said, you and kris have both had a rough/strange/stressed time recently with illness and the broken foot... of course it would take time to get back in the swing of things. From both blogs you were both DESPERATE to get back into the powerful exchange you had before and obviously disappointed that things didn't go back to "perfect" straight away. I know I shouldn't stand up for kris... but he adores you and blatantly finds you horny as a very horny thing with horns on! After a time of such gentle and limited play, he just got over excited. Yes... he shouldn't have done it. Yes... you should have punished him. He did and you didn't. Can't go back, can only go forward. I second the motion to shove him in the cupboard!:kiss:

> He did and you didn't. Can't go back, can only go forward. > Click to expand... Very true, very true indeed. Punishing the mis-deed so for into the future is really wrong on the Dom's part. after reading kris's blog tonight i also cast a vote for the cupboard.

**Hi all! I'm so over the whole kris cumming incident, we've moved on, as **mistress** Watchful so rightly pointed out things can only move forward and boy have they!! This weekend a lot of talking has been done between kris and myself, I've vented some of my issues with having a sissy, the fact Kris has some gender issues and i didn't want him as i put it getting f*cked up by our play time. This chat has done us the world of good! we both know where we stand and we're both happy. Kris knows that i dont dislike the sissy play, but sometimes i want him to be a bloke looking all grrr! in a jockstrap:tongue: I seem to be imbracing his sissy desires alot more now, and feel alot more confident, last night i made him dress in a corset and some stockings, do his makeup (he did look beautiful) and today he has removed all his manly body hair at my request. I've even looked at some suicide girls underwear to purchase for him as a little treat. I'm not going to say things are looking up or i'm really happy at the moment cos i normally jinx things when i do, but you can guess how i feel.:bigsmile:**

**Jeez i am keeping upto date with my blog, nothing much to write about today, i've had a pretty relaxed bank holiday. I'm planning to treat kris tonight, thinking of cooking a nice romantic meal for him with candles and stuff, layed out a dress neatly on the bed for him to change into, may even dress up myself. Don't know whats up with me at the moment, i'm all loved up with kris, normally just grunt at each other, I think we've reached a new era in our sub/dom relationship, we both understand each others wants and desires more than ever now which is well good!!! I need to stop this soppy sissy talk lol! I'm a man not a girl lol!:tongue: On that note i have more stuff to sort out, make things perfect. Hope everyone else is good x**

Sounds like you have a more interesting bank holiday planned than most of the people in the UK! Glad you're luvved up.:smile:

**ARGH!!! I'm absolutley fuming this morning!!!!! I woke up with pains in my penis, actually i'll backtrack a bit, A few nights ago me and Kris had been having sex and things got a bit rough at one point, The next day i had a bit of a pain and noticed a small hole in my ''banjo string'' it's real name begins with an F but not sure without looking on google. Well this morning i've woken up in pain, so i took out my PA and it looks like the hole is joined onto that with a small bit of skin inbetween. I've now as reconmended by Kris taken my PA out which will heal and i'll be gutted!:cry: All that pain for 'F' all! I got it done because I wanted it, but also because kris' looked better than mine, and peircing has always been my thing, I wonder what other sh*t today is gonna throw my way. Hope you all have a better day than mine so far x**

**Yay! just found an old PA ring which is smaller, put that in now, so all my hard work of stretching to 4mm wil be undone as the piercing wil shrink again but at least my cock will look good still**:tongue:

I know a lot of people are fans of the PA, but i always felt that the skin was awful thin in that part of the penis for the stress that is often put on it... of course the same is said of the frenum piercing (which i do have.. its in my pics i think). BTW, i think the skin you are referring to is the frenum:ooh:

Good luck with the PA! My first one migrated out within a month. My second attempt (two years after the first, done 3 1/2 months ago) is not showing signs of migration, fortunately. I do love the piercing, so I understand how frustrating it is when you're afraid you'll lose it!

Ouch... not good!:sad: Hopefully it will rectify itself and you won't have to re-pierce a lot later down the line. Gently does it for a while then.:wink:

**And I was being so good lol! I had all good intentions of keeping my diary up2 date and then a load of stuff happened so had no time:cry: I'm back now though!!! hope eveyone is good, got a few blogs to read through by the looks of things, get back up to date with everything. Nothing really to report, i've been taking it easy with the pa problem and all but think i'm back into the swing of things. Kris' dress arrived yesterday and i must say he looks absolutley stunning in it. My mouth dropped at how beautiful he looks! Think there will be some photogorapy happening tonight! Last night i got back to my dom ways as well, I had man needs and made sure kris was going to sort them out, he happily agreed. I think my **master** side is well and truly back for good now!!**

> Think there will be some photogorapy happening tonight! > Click to expand... Yay! > I think my **master** side is well and truly back for good now!! > Click to expand... Double Yay!!!! I'm glad you're back, thought we'd offended you!:crossedlips:

**So i'm back again and decided i'm never gonna leave my blog this long ever again!!! It seems like ages since i've last blogged, I had all good intentions of being on top of my blog, updating it every day and setting a good example to Kris that he too should be doing this. I've been far too busy or ill of late to even think about my blog, shite excuse I know but it can't be helped I suppose. I'm slowly getting back to my usual self though, feeling a bit more me, started afew small things with kris, he has to smell pretty and have lipgloss on for when I arrive home, just a few small things to keep him in a sissy mindset, these little things seem to go a long way though as Kris does seem very happy with the changes, think i'll introduce some more gradually, just to keep things interesting x**

Good to see you back.:angel:

**MW, Deja vu! i'm sure i've heard that before!:tongue: So yeah i'm back more dom than ever now, got a bit of a ruthless and wicked side thats come out of me, i'm trying to chanel all my moody, angry i'm now a non smoker energy into something productive. I keep having thoughts about smoking, how good it is, how much I love it, Why is it so hard!!!!!? I'm only on day 2 by the way, nearly cracked in tesco just then, seeing all the cigarettes in their shiny packets. Mmmm Marlboro lights! Damn it! Kris is being supportive though, think he likes the extra time i seem to have in my days now, and seems to kiss me a lot more, he used to kiss me but alot more now if that makes sense? Got a full day of training with kris today, well after i've done my housework. Hope everyone is good**

There's a thought... maybe if I go on a diet I will have non-eating energy to express!:happy0195:

**Lol! @ MW! I've found that all i wanna do is eat now! so i'm going to have to enforce a diet on myself. I was well behaved and had salad with kris for dinner. He's being a lil sweethart at the mo, I just trained him in how to apply makeup to my liking and then he just gave me a bath and pampered me, it was bliss, all those bubbles and a glass of lemonade, I'm not drinking on a school night:innocent0002: Think we should watch a dvd now, alien was on last night so we watched it, even though Kris bought me the box set with all 4 in it, fancy watching aliens, then sex and the city tomorrow night!!! glad i preordered it!!:jumping0036: So i'm on my 2nd day as a non smoker, i got through it, Does anybody else smoke or quit? I'd like as much advice as possible on how to stay strong and stop, everywhere I go theres a smoker! Just looked up pics on the net and found this one of Brian from Placebo, it's made me want to smoke but also femme Kris up even more! **

I used to smoke... have been smoke free about 5 years now. It took me about 2 years and 200 tries to actually quite. Best advice i can give is to just keep trying! If you fall off the wagon don't sweat it, get back on and keep going! A couple of things that helped me quite was sleeping a lot and working out (normally until i was so exhuasted i could barely walk!). I did that for about 3 months to get over the initial cravings and then settled into a more normal workout routine. Wish i could say i stil work out, but that is another story!

**Thank you for the advice newsub4a. I'm on my forth day now and i could commit murder!:evilgrin0020: i'm ok though, keeping myself busy, playin on the ps3, watchin dvd's, cleaning the flat and spending money (on pants):party0042: i'll post a pic of the ones i'm getting, they're a bit cool. Makes me wonder how i kept an underwear **fetish** whilst smoking 20 a day! Last night, nothing to report, we watched sex and the city then went to bed and slept!:sad0137: (jeez, i'm going mad with the new smilies - blame MW for that lol!) I want nothing more to get back to being the full on dom i was, i know i'm getting there eventually. I feel/know Kris is disapointed with the lack of play (If ya dont wanna say it to me Kris, I'll still read it in your blog cos you'll write it in there) I'm disapointed in the lack of play too! Argh!! i need a cig!! maybe when my new pants come i'll feel good/better about myself, at the mo i'm tired, worried and in desperate need of a ciggarette!!!!!! I'll keep ya all up to date on day 5 of my non smoking (hell) about how things go tonight, Take care all.**

Wow... if the model is in the box by accident, can you send him my way when you're done with him?! Did you love SATC? I cried from the opening credits all the way through to the closing credits... no exaggeration. I'm trying to get hold of the special edition with interviews etc. Go smileys!:jumping0044:

**I loved it! Kris says he hated it, he's a liar!! He kept sayin Carrie should not be with Big, she should be with Aiden! that coming from someone who don't like it lol! If the model comes in the box, i may keep him as a bull:anim_63: (not really, only said that to wind Kris up) so yeah i'll send him your way**

I must admit, it grated massively with me that she was with Big, but then it always did. Didn't like Aiden either. I don't think she ever really had anyone I liked, Lol!

**I think she should have married the shoes! They're her real love, or maybe Stanford!**:happy0011:

Agreed! Either way, you're right... then Stanford would have got his inheritance!

**And they could have spent it on more shoes! And Stanford would have got his dream of the Vera Wang dress, but only Bigger! **

**Kris has updated his diary so wreckon i should do mine, I've managed 2weeks of not smoking which is really good for me! Kris said last night it's as if i've never smoked and he doesn't even remember me as a smoker, I do! but then i'm thinking of all the money i'm going to save and all the toys i can buy for me and Kris, well thats after i've bought the new Tomb raider for my ps3 but it isn't out til next month so there's plenty of time. Things have been a little quiet, we had some really amazing play time over the weekend, which was brilliant, getting back into the swing of things and everything, it's been quiet though through the week as we both work full time and are a bit sleepy of a night time, it has been nice though we've enjoyed each others company a lot more. I know i've said it twice now but I shall deffo be updating my blog more often now.**

Lol @ you. Glad you had a great weekend, and a big:jumping0044: on the not smoking. Apparently it takes 21 days to make or break a habit... so not long until that goal now!

**I feel like:character0028: at the mo haha! I seem to have alot more energy since the non smoking. It's all good. Kris has been amazing during the non smoking, last night i went out with a smoker and he was like you best not be going for a cig, i wasn't i wouldnt dream of it, but it was just nice to have that support there. I'm planning a night of fun for us both tonight, don't really want to go into much detail at this moment because I know Kris will probably read my blog before hand and i really dont want any surprises to be ruined. I will let you all know how our night of kink goes as soon as I know how it goes hehe! On a poo note, the PA is out now, it was a battle with myself where I was adimant it was staying in, a loosing battle me thinks as the hole in my banjo string has still yet to disapear, even with a smaller piece of jewelery. Boo! i loved that peircing, think i may get a 2nd in my tongue which is kinda my joint fave peircing of my 7.**

**So Kris posts more than me! I'm not having that lol!:party0042: Kris has posted about our doings last night, i don't really have much to add to it, apart from it was amazing, i've missed seeing Kris like that, 100% submited, moaning away like a porn star, it was hot, me liked it. I knew summit was going to happen last night, I was more my horny self and couldnt control my urges in the car on the way home from our night out:party0023: starting by talking dirty to him in the car, then getting my hard cock out as he was driving and teasing him. I felt like i was getting back to my naughty fun ways, i never wanna go back to bein mundane and tired. Things are soo good! Hope everyone else is good!**

**Seem' like i'm not the only one bein quiet on the mansion, so i've decided that even though i don't have much to report i'm gonna do it anyway, just so peeps know i'm alive. Got home from work tonight and Kris had been out for takeaway, mmmm char sui! me likes, and rose wine! me likes even more!!:happy0167: I'm knackered after my day at work, I want nothing more than to play with Kris, keep our kinky momentum going, it seemed to hit a brick wall last night, Kris was whacking me off, and it was taking me ages to cum, i guess my heart wasn't in it, i want nothing more than play. I don't know what was wrong, it just felt like something was missing. I'm sure it'll all get good soon, we both work shitty hours and are both always tired, the new addition to our family is a like a child too, always stealing our attention, always wanting to join in when me and Kris hug. I'll keep you upto date though, On another note does anyone know where maid muffy is? **

> Seem' like i'm not the only one bein quiet on the mansion, so i've decided that even though i don't have much to report i'm gonna do it anyway, just so peeps know i'm alive. > Click to expand... Guilty as charged! > On another note does anyone know where maid muffy is? > Click to expand... Not sure actually! Send her a message perhaps?

**Still not much to report I'm afraid. Kris and me are still tired out. Last night when I got home from work, Kris had brought in some Chinese food along with a bottle of wine; we also had some cake which was nice. I ended up going to bed at 10:30 PM, which wasn't great because I was too exhausted for anything else. After finishing the film he was watching—which I thought was rubbish and didn't want to see—Kris came through. We shared some snuggle time that turned into him giving me a handjob. I enjoyed it, but afterwards I got that same feeling from the night before: I want more! Don't get me wrong (especially you Kris if you're reading this), he does drive me wild and our bedroom life is always amazing! I just want to feel completely in charge and **dominant**. We're planning a weekend of couple time which will be wonderful. I know things will return to normal.**

You can't go full tilt all the time; I don't believe it's physically or emotionally possible. Weekends are meant for a break from work to help you recharge, so maybe you need a mid-week break from your D/s dynamic so you *know* you're going to have a quiet night??? It might not be especially romantic or spontaneous, but at least if you have one night "off," there's no pressure. You can both do as you please and get an early night if necessary. I'm writing this before coffee; I'm very sleepy and probably not making much sense. Lol.:animal0017:

It makes all the sense in the world and was said very well.

**Well our planned weekend of couple time didn't go quite as expected. There I was thinking it would be a vanilla weekend full of PS3 gaming and DVD watching; let's put it this way, that's not what I got! Things started to pick up on Thursday night when Kris and me began having sex again, which was great. It was fairly vanilla-like, but I still felt all **dominant**, throwing Kris around a bit and making him do what I wanted! Go Me!!:party0042: Friday morning was pretty much the same; we both woke up horny and couldn't keep our hands off each other! On Saturday, after doing the food shop, we went to the adult store and made a few purchases: some love eggs for Kris, and some hotpants and a flogger for me. We rushed home and tried them out. I've had a crop before, but there's something better about the flogger; you can tease rather than just inflict pain straight up. Kris loved it too! He seems to really like my pants as well; I feel very sexy in them! It's bizarre how I have all these self-confidence issues, yet stick me in some sexy pants and I come out of my shell. It's all good though. I'm back to being a happy **master** now! Yay!**

**Things are a bit quiet at the moment; both Kris and me are back to work. I have a cold and generally feel like shite. I've wanted nothing more than to dominate Kris since the weekend, ploughing straight ahead as we started by getting back into our roles. Alas, this hasn't happened yet, but Kris and me are still good. We've spent a lot of time talking and hugging (Kris hugs are the best in the whole world!):love0077: Things aren't particularly kinky at the moment, but they are really nice. We hardly see each other because of work commitments:animal0017:, but we seem to appreciate the time we have together, so I have no complaints.**:happy0030:

**After a bit of a row last night, Kris and me are all good again. We had a stupid argument over my silly insecurities (well they aren't silly, but they feel it; I know that makes no sense whatsoever, but it does in my head though, and it's my blog lol!:anim_35: I took Kris to get pierced today—a favourite thing of mine. He's slowly catching up with me on the number he has, eek! Must get more done myself:anim_01: This all started during our makeup sex this morning. Kris was telling me that he wanted to submit more in public and also be trained to become a fully fledged sissy girl. As I was licking his nipples, slowly teasing him, I decided right then: you want to submit? You're getting them pierced! The subject had been raised before on several occasions but nothing ever came of it. I'm glad he got them done; the downside is that he has both now (I only have one), so they look better than mine:confused0086: lol! But on the plus side, he looks super hot and also proved how much he wants to submit. I'm all happy at the moment *how many times have I written that and then been fuming in my next blog*? But yeah seriously this time, it feels like we're having a new start, and to tell the truth, I'm excited to see what becomes of it.**

Hiya, just checking in! If it makes you feel any better, I think having two nipples pierced is much more a "girlie" thing, so that's actually better for Kris.:animal0008: Glad you're able to deal with the arguments before/during rather than stewing for days.... that sucks.

**Things are still quiet at the moment. Kris hasn't been so horny since he had his nipples pierced; before the piercings I just had to touch them and he would get turned on. At the mo though they are sore, and I can't touch them (my nipple healed quite quickly, so I'm probably just expecting the same from Kris). We did manage a cheeky hand job, but Kris also came, pushing everything back to square one. I get really horny when he cums, but then say a couple of minutes later I'm p*ssed off with myself for letting it happen. Since that night we've had no play, no sex, nothing at all; we've cuddled and such, but I need more. I want to feel powerful, sexy. I don't know what to do: should I just take charge again and f*ck the consequences, or should I wait for Kris to give me a sign of what he wants? Decisions decisions eh?**:character0117:

**Normal service is resumed now Yay! Kris and I have got back to our 'normal' roles. I'm all happy now that I'm back in charge and the boss. Yesterday started off a little dull; we tidied our bedroom which was, to be honest, a bit of a shit tip, mainly because I own too many clothes that were homeless and chucked in a pile. Kris had a bit of a sulk; he felt down because we had become so distant. Evenings normally involved him playing on his PC while I played on my PS3—a bit poo really. I completely agreed the situation wasn't desirable. Kris then became all passionate, climbing on top and kissing me. I was just expecting some 'vanilla' sex; to be honest, I would have liked that, just to feel intimate and close to him. Boy did I get a surprise! He asked me to close the curtains. As I did, he stripped naked and positioned himself on all fours on the bed, offering himself to me. That's when I knew (a) I wanted to give him a good fucking, but (b) he was ready to submit again, allowing me to use him for my needs. That was good—well great really—but nothing compared to the nighttime happenings. We started off by watching some TV, then I decided I wanted to play with **rope bondage**. It's something that interests me a lot, and I would like to be better at it (practice will help me think; so lots more of that is on the cards). Kris looked uber hot all bound up tight. I tied up his arms and his balls and cock. I got on my knees and started to suck and lick his cock, each time bringing him close to **release**. Everytime it felt like he was going to gain release, I'd yank on the rope causing pain in his balls; it was loads of fun watching him all tormented. After taking a few photos (which Kris will upload soon), I couldn't take it any more. I had to use his sissy pussy for my gratification: I lay him down, spread his legs and penetrated him deeply while grabbing on to the rope for some leverage. It was the best sex we have had in ages! I hope we can keep this momentum up as all is great!**

**Things are on the quiet side again; I'm not complaining. MW said something to me in one of her posts on my blog about how time away from play is always good. Last night was one of those nights: no play, Kris played on his PC, and I watched some TV. Nothing major to report really, but I find updating my blog keeps me in my role as a dom even though we've had a lack of play. Think I'll have to make Kris update his; it's been a while. So yeah it's Bonfire Night tonight. Doubt we'll get any play again, but reckon it'll be nice to go and see a fireworks display and hug up close to keep warm. Hope everyone else is good.**

**Had a bit of a turn in events the other day. I got all f*cked off with Kris (no fault of his), but I think I was annoyed that when we make love he seems to be bored and no longer initiates sex; it's always down to me. I have quite a few issues with low self-esteem, and these just seemed to get blown out of proportion. I guess I just feel a bit unattractive/unsexy, like Kris only gets off on me when he's bound/gagged etc. We've had a bit of a talk. To be honest, I have been a complete w*nker; it's just my way of dealing with things by becoming a moody idiot and not talking, only making snappy, bitchy comments. Kris, bless him, has been really sweet. I can tell he's p*ssed off with me, but he knows what I'm like and how I get. I think things are getting better though; he gave me a completely out of the blue blowjob which was amazing—I can get used to those lol! I'll update my blog tomorrow and let everyone know how things go.**

Hi Kris' **master**, I am glad to hear that things come "out of the blue" like they do... Hope tomorrow is a good day for you and Kris! Brian

**(Best watch my spelling):evilgrin0036: The weekend did actually turn out pretty cool, with a spot of fisting:happy0011: I started off by making Kris put on a show for me. We own a huge **butt plug** but rarely play with it; I made Kris dress in his favourite dress and ride it for my amusement. It was really cool; I spent most of the time rock hard, watching him take every inch slowly. It was hot! We've tried fisting before only managing to get the thumb knuckle through. Kris seems to really get off on it (I do too for that matter). This time we managed all the way through—a full fist!:happy0030: I think the **plug** helped loosen Kris up to the desired amount. Well needless to say, my cock wanted a bit as well, and we had some pretty hot sex! I'm all happy at the moment, apart from a run in with the dictionary nazi's last night. Everything else is great, and ya know what, nothing is gonna get to me anymore. I'm going to take every day as it comes, keep things interesting for Kris and me, and spend lots of time hugging and snuggling up. Right GTA IV is calling me; I don't wanna go work, I wanna stay and do naughty things Lol! Hope everyone has a good day!**

**Felt a bit down of late. Kris is wanting his **master** back; I can tell we seem to have this struggle in the week. We both desperately want to play but are both really tired (me more than him). On Tuesday I came home to find him all dressed up. He did look really hot, but my heart wasn't in it; I just wanted to sleep. I'm exhausted and look like a monkey because I can't even be bothered to shave. Last night I came home with a pounding headache due to a stressful day at work and the fact that I didn't wear my glasses (which probably didn't help). Again there was tension regarding play; I could feel it even though the subject never came up. Weekends seem to be our main play time, and for now I can deal with that. I'm normally myself then—full of energy, wanting to do things. I just feel like I'm letting Kris down at the mo by not being the **master** he needs by not instigating anything. By not being the 24/7 dom that he desires so much. This blog entry is here for me to get everything out of my system. I know readers will probably want to slit their wrists after reading it lol! Just bear with me, and I'm sure I'll be back to my normally kinky self shortly.**

**master**, I am bleeeeeeding from my wrists (drip drip drip)... One problem I am trying to work on in our relationship is that George sometimes may feel pressured to reward me when he isn't really in the mood or when I'm not actually looking for a reward in the first place. I mentioned this to Kris a few minutes ago. George sees how hard I work for him sometime... There is an "equation" within each of us regarding work results and **master** expectations. When it gets "out-of-balance" in a partner's head—when the work doesn't match the reward—there is going to be strain in the relationship. The dilemma arises when that out-of-balance perception is wrong. Sometime George sees me so erect and hard in the morning that he feels obliged to reward me for my recent hard work, giving me a half-hearted handjob I don't really want or appreciate at the time. The only **master** rewards I need from him in the morning are a kiss and his smile—and maybe a little erotic tease and grope. We're working on balancing that equation... I don't expect nearly as much of a reward from him most times as he may sometimes think—but sometimes I do need one; we're working on that. Take your B vitamins—that makes a difference in energy over time!

OMG, if you think I should slit my wrists over your lack of kinkiness, then surely I should slit my throat over mine! I was just discussing with Pet what a funny time of year this is. It's a horrible, dark, gloomy lull before Christmas, and this year everyone is moaning about money ten times more! Everyone is a bit gloomy... it'll all pick up once we start playing Xmas songs and wrapping pressies!:character0181:

**Our Christmas Ornaments... Well, not my effort...** Hi Kris' **master**, Mistress Watchful was describing her Christmas spirit—I think it needs some work personally:confused0086:. Here in Texas, it is a balmy 24C with sunny skies today, and we have yet to turn on the furnace. I imagine that just the sunshine makes quite a difference! When I was a child, my father would put up the cheapest ornaments that Sears (Simpson Sears—do they have that in the UK?) sold—we had the most pathetic lights on the street! Today George likes to put up ornaments although he is not Christian—but he gets a chance to liven up the house and loves doing it—he did that over the last weekend. But, they are the CHEAPEST lights you can imagine, and they are only put up in the windows (who does that when you live in a house?). Did I marry my father??? What do you two **mistress** for Christmas? I have talked about us getting married in Canada—we can do that because of my citizenship—and coming back to the US demanding recognition by UN treaty. No one has challenged the law that way yet. I am a delegate to a UN mission, by the way, and I know the treaties... George is VERY reluctant to do that—heaven forbid anyone find out we are gay... Anyway, I think it would be FUN! But he says "NO", so guess we won't be on CNN together challenging the establishment any time soon. And Mistress points out that the economy is in the pits—yes it is—that doesn't help the Christmas spirit at all. Does it? I think it's time for a little music and "cheer". Our finances are certainly tighter this year than last, but we are hanging in there and hope everyone reading survives this mess intact. Maybe George will let me dance for him bare on Christmas Eve! That could lead somewhere interesting...

**Feeling a bit more like myself now; you'll all be glad to hear lol! Think my sexy new rubber 'master pants' I've purchased have helped (I even made an album—There are real Kris' **master** pix now). Jeez, I'm brave lol! The last few days have been quiet on the play front. I can't complain though; I'm really content. Me and Kris seem to understand where we both stand (or kneel in Kris' case). We started off with lots of play and it was great—just the tip of the iceberg, me thinks. I know I have a lot more to give, and I will in my own time. I think Kris understands this now; he's moved on from being a demanding little bitch (loves ya really):love0077: Only a short blog today; I'm a lil sleepy and have the banging headache from hell. Think Kris will be pampering me tonight.**

Nice pics, **master**! Rubber looks good on you! Krissi should be proud to have such a handsome and studly **master**! Dollyanne hopes that through the ups and downs there are more ups, and from the sound of things, there will be! Curtsey,:animal0008: dollyanne

**Thank you Dollyanne for your nice comments; I'm loving my new rubber pants—they make me feel very sexy and **masterful**. Things have quietened down again though! Boo!!! Back to the norm I'm afraid—stupid work, stupid dark nights, and stupid everything! When everything seems to be going amazingly well, normality comes back and bites you on the arse (and not in the fun, playful way). I hope the weekend brings back the fun. Short blog I know, but Kris has just fetched my dinner**

Those are sexy pants!:evilgrin0036:

**Why thank you bcc; I'm not getting much chance to wear them at the mo. Kris is sick and I'm still exhausted. Kris is going to the doctors later on today; he's been having constant headaches for the last few days. We had a bit of an argument before—it's my day off work, and he was playing GTA on my PS3. Well needless to say, I wasn't impressed—I wanted to play it! That plus smoking again (behind Kris's back) just made me a bit snappy. Kris stormed off to bed; I have made things up with him now—admitted that I'm smoking again and gave him a big hug. Things have started to get a bit confusing though. Kris keeps acting like the sub in the relationship but then talks to me as if I'm the sub—a bit confusing to be honest. Think I'm going to have to get to the bottom of that.**

Hello Kris' Master, "Getting back into the habit" is truly a nuisance - I've assisted numerous folks who quit, and it was tough for them. The main "issue" for some was having nothing to occupy their hands or do with them. Something like tangerines? Like unshelled walnuts? And stress - not sure what you can say about that, but stress clearly enjoys a cigarette... I suffer from headaches constantly - poor Kris... Weather shifts affect me every time, and it feels like each flight brings on the worst headache imaginable. I get them whenever I visit the barber too - who knows why. Will Kris wear a scarf to protect his neck? It could look quite chic and might help if his pain stems from tension in the neck muscles. Well, I'd better tackle some household tasks while I have the chance - I also need to prep for afternoon meetings... Hope you enjoy your weekend - put those trousers on if Kris is recovering well!

Perhaps you simply need to attend to kris's bottom LOL:sex020: Mistress Michelle

**Lol @ Mistress Michelle, Thanks for brightening my day. That sounds like a workable plan! And again thanks to bcc for all your encouraging advice. Hopefully I'll have something enjoyable to share in the blog today.**