Female led relationships discussion

I’m just wondering how everyone else feels regarding their lifestyle. After a few failed attempts at quitting, I’ve come to see that this way of life is something essential for me; there’s always an pull drawing me back. When we take a break from chastity, I feel a bit hollow inside and soon enough find myself rushing right back into it with more desire than before. It bothers me when my mistress thinks I’m letting her down. Does anyone else experience this cycle? My mistress usually calls it ‘my period’ lol.