Novices and newbies discussion

Hi everyone,

I have a query. A few years back, my wife mentioned she enjoyed masturbating my penis but preferred that I didn’t ejaculate. In response, I told her if ejaculation wasn’t to her liking, she could keep doing it as much as she wanted while I retained my semen for her. Back then, neither of us really understood tease and denial; she simply made up her mind about me not ejaculating. After roughly 30 days of attempting this approach, I asked whether she preferred me to continue holding back or return to normal orgasms. She stated that our sex life was at its best when I didn’t ejaculate, so she wanted me to keep my semen inside. That happened about three years ago. Since then, we’ve had an on-and-off routine of daily tease and denial (whenever I don’t have orgasms), while she takes her own orgasms whenever the mood strikes. I’ve been in a state of tease and denial for six months now without any releases.

So here is my question: When I do ejaculate, I feel quite dominant and masculine, and I crave frequent orgasms. However, when my wife makes me hold back my semen, I feel very submissive and feminine. While I am holding in my semen and abstaining from orgasm, I want to wear attractive women’s underwear and have her shave off my pubic hair. But if she allows me to climax, the urge for women’s underwear and having my pubes shaved completely disappears.

So… is it normal and natural to feel extremely feminine and desire both women’s underwear and a shaving of my pubic hairs when kept sexually aroused without release, or does this indicate latent gayness showing up? Thanks!