Journals and blogs discussion

As a mom, I’ve always felt there was a controlling streak in me that demanded authority over my household. Eventually, I realized I was stuck in a marriage filled with manipulation and unhappiness. To ease the stress and bottled-up frustration, I started giving in to the desire to go out and meet other men. I’d head into town, select my target, and strike hard; it wasn’t difficult at all to find men who fell under my influence, But then came a man whose path crossed mine unexpectedly. He swept me off my feet with magnetic pull, chemical attraction, and an explosive awakening of my body—it was like opening Pandora’s box. Not knowing what waited for me, I took the plunge and started an affair, eventually leaving my marriage behind to begin anew. I used to consider the “kinky world” as taboo, just unnatural role-playing reserved for the bedroom. I felt odd having bi-curious leanings myself. But it was time to learn more. I’ve been with this sub of mine for over two years now, and with his guidance, I hope to uncover my authentic self. During our first year, while we were discovering each other’s preferences, we visited Amsterdam. I fell in love with the city; neither the red-light district nor the live sex shows bothered me (in fact, I know I could have performed better). It sparked ideas and opened my eyes to a new realm. I think it will take some time for my natural Dom nature to fully emerge because I often feel like being on both sides—I adore the sensation of being tied up. Having a partner with prior experience in this scene initially shook my confidence, as I worried he’d expect too much from me and I wouldn’t measure up. It seems there isn’t much new for him that he hasn’t already tried or owned. I should mention here that my sub is quite intelligent and enjoys expressing his views, particularly when locked up; I’m going to address this right away by using the gag we recently purchased because too often I’ve had to silence him myself. While I enjoy having my toes licked, there’s only so much sucking I can handle. I find I enjoy dressing my sub in lacy stockings and wearing my own panties while taking him from behind. I love bringing him close to climax and then stopping; the tease gives me a huge thrill. My first experience locking up my sub involved the cb3000, which presented one issue after another because he isn’t circumcised. I was sure that his frequent complaints about needing modifications were just excuses to escape confinement. After some health issues arose, we stopped using it. We live apart and mostly see each other on weekends when my son is with me. Adapting my kinky lifestyle into our daily routine has sometimes been challenging. The worst thing is mentally planning what you’ll do with your sub during a visit, having the whole scenario mapped out in your head, only to have it fall apart because everyday life interferes—and I’m either too stressed or exhausted to follow through. I need to stop throwing ideas and hints at my sub; if I disappoint him too often, he might lose trust in me, costing me his respect and my position as a Dom. Deciding to get back on course, we bought some new additions for our collection: the whip,…dildo…etc Now, my boy is secured in a PA5000. I’m very happy with this tube; a simple adjustment allowed space for his foreskin so he fits snugly with little bulge, making it lighter while keeping that tactile connection I love seeing him and teasing him with occasional strokes. It also allows penetration without causing ejaculation. With less plastic involved, fluid doesn’t accumulate in his foreskin as much, cleaning is easy, and it prevents the sweaty jockstrap odor after long durations. He has been confined since 17/11, briefly removed for adjustments on 19/11 before going back in. I let him think it was just a week’s trial to check our progress, but I forgot to mention I intended to keep him locked up for at least a month. The realization hit us both around the 24th of November, and I believe he was thrilled. He had been hinting about what we could do once I let him go, acting as if he had his own plans ready, but then suddenly I halted those plans and shifted control firmly to myself. He has tried persuading me to release him without success, which has resulted in me punishing him a few times for his misbehaviors. ( such as the expensive ring nearly being washed away with its insurance card still attached, talking excessively, or forgetting things) One evening, using my new whip, I got carried away. Before long, I was channeling Lara Croft; by the second round of whipping, I struck his balls and hands hard enough to cause immense pain—clearly testing his trust—and had to learn some restraint while refining my aim. I’ve previously left him naked and tied while I went out shopping. Strolling through the stores for a couple of hours felt empowering and invigorating; I’d squeeze satsumas between my fingers, imagining my boy bound and gagged without knowing when I’d return. More recently, I took him along to buy new underwear. After selecting some lovely panties, I ordered him to go up to the counter to pay for them. I watched from behind his shoulder as he quietly handed them over to the female cashier. He admitted it felt embarrassing because they were clearly not mine—they were a size larger than what I wear—and he suspected she knew this too. I praised him generously as we walked home so he could try them on. As you can see from valsboy’s photos, I don’t allow him to look like a slut. Comfort is just as vital as sexiness if they are worn constantly. I believe this site will strengthen our D/s bond because it allows us to be more open about our thoughts and ideas. Right now, I’m studying prostate massage techniques that I plan to practice regularly with him. I’ve noticed his mood softens afterward, making him even more attentive toward me. As a newcomer here, I’m unsure how frequently I’ll post, but every journal needs a start, middle, and end.X

**Stinging Nettles** Sitting here with my sub beside me on our laptops, I was browsing the gallery when one photo brought back a flood of memories from our early days. (I can't stop laughing) The very first time I thrashed his bare bottom using stinging nettles. All that innocence and naivety; if memory serves, I had my boy tied up in my bedroom with ropes and scarves plus a blindfold while I went outside to get into my car. Where could I find stinging nettles nearby? I wondered for a moment before starting the engine and driving around our estate until I found what looked like a good patch near a local stream. I parked, quickly checking to see if anyone was watching me armed with marigold gloves. I pushed through the weeds searching for nettles. Oh my goodness, what would people think if they only knew what I intended? I could feel the blood rushing to my head, heightening my eagerness to rush back home. I pulled hard at a handful of nettles and tossed them into the car, trapping the ends in the door as I drove quickly home. If you had been there to see it yourself! Even some roots were attached. I entered the bedroom feeling quite pleased with myself, only then pausing to wonder what exactly came next. After trying to flog him with a bunch of limp stems, it occurred to me that I wasn’t getting the reaction I hoped for. "Is it working?" I asked him. "Does it hurt?" He soon gave me my answer. It turned out we were in the wrong season because the nettles I picked had flowered and didn't sting as much. I might have to try this again, perhaps next spring before they bloom.

thanks for sharing, Duchess!

I know how annoying nettles are when you just brush against them, but being hit on the backside with them—that's a whole other level. Amber

Thank you Duchess, for *everything*! Well, you've revealed me as your panty slave and bum slut; what's next? Don't tell me - I love surprises. Exploring our D/s sides has certainly enhanced our relationship, waking up the butterflies too. It’s been 12 days today—a personal record. "Zoom my heart when boom".

> Duchess said: > I think it will take a while for my natural Dom side to come out as i often find i also want to be on the other side, I love the feeling of being bound. > Click to expand... I know exactly how you feel. I really enjoy switching roles too; I suspect that’s our dynamic until the kids leave home and I have time to develop my Domme side more fully. > Having a partner with previous experience in this area knocked my confidence at first as I thought he would have high expectations that I wouldnt be able to live up to. > Click to expand... I don’t think it matters whether the sub has lots of experience or not. Most Dommes worry they won't meet their partner's expectations. That’s just a natural part of any relationship where you want your partner happy. Even experienced pro-Dommes must feel that way sometimes; if someone is paying for your time, surely you need to "keep them satisfied" or they won’t return. LOL. > I first experienced locking my sub up with the cb3000 which due to not being circumcised came with one problem after another. I was convinced that the need to modify was an excuse to get out of the box. After some health problems we stopped using it. > Click to expand... Ah—the elusive quest for a device suitable for British uncircumcised males... > I must stop dropping ideas and hints to my sub as if I disappoint to often I may lose his trust and my status as a Dom. > Click to expand... That’s really tough, isn’t it?! You want them to see you’re thinking about things and ready to act... but when the moment arrives, everything feels rushed or perhaps you aren't in the right mindset yet. > I now have my boy locked up in a cb5000 and I am very pleased with this tube, with a simple modification to accommodate his foreskin he is snug and with minimal bulge its lighter and I still have the touch factor I love to see my package and be able to tease with an occasional stroke, I can also get penetration with it without bringing him to ejaculate. > Click to expand... I need to check your sub's post on this topic; I haven't read it yet. > One night using my new whip I let the power go to my head and before I knew it I was Lara croft and come the second attempt I whipped his balls and hands and caused him unbelievable pain, obviously abusing his trust, got to show some restraint and improve my aim. > Click to expand... Oh dear... Looks like you’ll need more practice! LOL. That’s what I keep telling my pet: "Oops, I’m still not good enough yet; let me try again." LOL. > As a newcomer to Forums I have no idea how often I will write but every journal must have a beginning a middle and an end.X > Click to expand... Well, for one person (me), I am VERY happy you’re here writing about real-life experiences—the trials and tribulations! It’s comforting to have someone nearby who truly understands.:butterfly: