Introductions discussion

I’ve been away from the community for a bit but just got back to catch up, and it feels wonderful to be here again.

I saw someone ask for advice on where to send their potential keyholder. After browsing around, I realized there isn’t one obvious ‘first stop’ page for beginners. So, rather than suggesting they read an entire book (which is great), I decided to write a short intro myself in the hopes that it helps.

If you’re reading this and are new to chastity or even just the kink scene generally, it might seem quite odd at first. Many people immediately get turned off by the concept, but honestly, their loss!

It’s not all about whips and chains (unless you want that). If you’re completely new and a bit intimidated, you can start simply: your partner holds the key. What do you have to lose? Nothing. At worst, it keeps your partner happy while changing very little for you—except when he needs his release, giving him the key then. Of course, things change once you begin enjoying it yourself…

So, you’ve got him locked exactly as he requested and pestered for; now it’s your turn to reap the rewards with simple adjustments you might not have considered:

For instance: that pile of laundry waiting to be put away, or the kitchen which gets messy in minutes. Instead of letting him dodge his chores like usual, try telling him to handle them. You’ll likely be surprised at how much this helps you. It’s nothing overly kinky or scary, just a benefit because you hold the power (the key). If he gives attitude, let it show; tell him so—he won’t be getting out anytime soon.

Even if these changes don’t seem ‘kinky’ to you, they might be a major turn-on for your partner. You hold the key and therefore the control, even if you prefer not to flaunt it.

This is especially useful in the bedroom. Not feeling playful? Then just relax; he can’t do much about that now. If he starts nagging or pestering, remind him that staying locked longer is his lot—or better yet, based on my experience, hand back control by saying if he continues like this, you’re not interested. 99% of the time, he won’t take it off.

If you are in the mood though, keep him locked and enjoy what he can offer—fingers, tongue, toys—and only let him use his penis when you really want to.

There’s nothing frightening or strange about all this. I’m sure your partner has a long list of rules for you that seem mandatory. He’s likely been researching heavily, suddenly bombarding you with knowledge in a short time, which might have put you off completely. Ignore him. Explore the fantasy at your own pace. Take breaks and play again. I promise you: the issue isn’t chastity itself, but rather his obsession. Look past that—or tell him to shut up so you can enjoy it.

In my own way.