Novices and newbies discussion

Hubby and I have been doing a pretty poor job of handling the intimacy side of chastity, and we’ve hit some rough spots. After bickering back and forth, I decided to step up and dig deeper into this topic. Since insomnia kept me awake all night, I spent my time researching on this site, checking out other forums, and looking at an app he had been mentioning.

Once I did the homework, I uncovered a bit of deceit from him (he’s joined another group forum with a different KH without asking, and he keeps a backup key tucked away in his laptop bag). I was absolutely FURIOUS. This made me reflect on what chastity brings to me as a wife: it gives me control, restricts him, and honestly, I love every bit of that dynamic. I WANT him locked up, but I also want him to feel the discomfort. We had a spat this morning, which resolved like so.

Because he LOVES his cage so much, using its removal as punishment really hits home for him when he’s acting like a submissive little husband. He needs to provide me with a solid plan on how he will EARN back the privilege of wearing it and show that he is genuinely putting in the work to get it back. His deadline is 5pm ET tonight. If he doesn’t have an idea by then, he has to wait until tomorrow for another attempt. I won’t hand over the cage again until he proves his desire.

Furthermore, he needs to put effort into our relationship dynamic: speaking up more and actually addressing issues when I slip in my duties as KH (no just talking about problems—solving them). He also needs to be clearer about what he wants and needs, since we’ve been a bit vague there while I refine my role.

Last but not least… we’re returning to dating. Ten years together, eight married, yet the fire faded. We need to rekindle that spark: dressing up for each other, wearing makeup and perfume, going out (nothing too formal—maybe a casual dinner or just hanging around), perhaps finding some opportunities for voyeuristic enjoyment…

One thing is certain: this morning he left for work without his cage, and I texted him to say I’d hidden the key. When he gets locked up again, “the only loose key will be the one resting against my chest. You’ll have an emergency key once you earn your lock-up.” As soon as I sent that message, a wave of excitement ran through me from head to toe. THAT is how it’s SUPPOSED to feel in this whole chastity journey. I’m supposed to get hot and eager when the cage comes up; I should be thrilled by it, help him stay excited too, and we need to work as a team.

Fingers crossed that this works out.