Introductions discussion

Hello everyone. As a male virgin, I am seeking support for chastity driven by purity rather than kink. This forum seems like the right place for people with various interests to connect and help someone like me break the habit of masturbation in pursuit of personal purity.

Does anyone know of an anonymous site similar to Sex Addicts Anonymous where those trying to master their masturbatory habits can find support, encouragement toward purity, and accountability?

I would greatly appreciate any assistance. I am open to positive suggestions and willing to follow any abstinence guidance that could aid my efforts.

Thank you in advance for information on supportive services or sites.

Best regards, paul

Welcome to the Mansion, paul! You did well coming forward; I think most people would have already left by now! I am sure everyone here wishes you well on your journey. Hopefully, someone will share advice regarding the personal reasons for chastity that guide you. I just searched Google quickly for abstinence and chastity in a religious context and found NOTHING! Not very helpful indeed. Perhaps another member has a link to something more spiritual about chastity devices. Hope you stay around; perhaps you can teach us a thing or two.:love0001:

There is an organization called Sex Addicts Anonymous. It follows the twelve-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. They have chapters in many cities. I attended one meeting to support a high school friend (no big story there). He continued participating for years, and I believe he benefited greatly from it. This was in Los Angeles, CA. I felt very welcome at that single meeting. There was no judging or pressure; the atmosphere was relaxed. No one asked for my personal details or anything unusual. Here is the main site for Sex Addicts Anon: You should be able to find a meet-up near your location as well. Good luck in your journey!

Thank you, I have also searched the web for chastity support and found very little coverage. Although I am a member of True Love Waits, it seems geared toward younger kids rather than people in my age group. My issue isn't huge; I do not watch porn and do not masturbate excessively. I simply aim to become purer in my habits. Having gone over 300 days without masturbating, I hesitate to call it a full-blown habit—it is more of something I am refining. I respect women and do not lust after them mentally; I was just looking for support to help hold me accountable so the struggle lessens, plus an environment that encourages purity rather than mocking it. Thanks again for the encouragement and help. I will keep trying. Paul

We can certainly hold you accountable, especially if you maintain a Journal in the Vault to track your feelings day by day. You can also set up a ticker starting from your last day of masturbation, and we will keep an eye on it!:happy0028: There are several members here who practice chastity without a partner, so their circumstances closely mirror yours in some ways. I think using a device to help maintain focus is a great idea.:anim_19:

Hi Paul, You are certainly welcome here as far as I am concerned. However, I want to raise one thought. I personally enjoy chastity devices because they induce a sense of bondage and actually enhance my daily sexual experience. If you have successfully avoided masturbation for up to 300 days without wearing one, there is a risk that experimenting with a device could make your journey MORE difficult. Keep in mind that all chastity devices require significant time and adjustment. During this period, your attention naturally shifts to your lower regions whether you like it or not! If you are trying to avoid porn, I assume you also try to minimize handling your genitals to reduce temptation. However, adjusting to a device means you will handle them quite a lot. So, while the long-term goal is using the device to help resist temptation, in the short term you may experience MORE stimulation. Additionally, as you read through community discussions, it essentially serves as erotica for you—a form of temptation you might have been avoiding. Thus, while most of us will support your wishes, our community provides a lot of stimulus that you might prefer to avoid. I just wanted to share this concern with you. Best of luck! You are definitely welcome here if you choose it! mikecb

I appreciate the advice. I was indeed thinking about how this site could assist me in my two biggest areas of struggle. During the day, while I'm occupied with work and activities, things go smoothly, so I probably won't need to wear a device or rely heavily on the site's support then. However, at night when I am alone, after enduring frustrating periods of abstinence leading up to bedtime, that is usually when temptation strikes. I suspect wearing a chastity device would be helpful right then, especially since my willpower can wane and leave me vulnerable. Having an added layer of protection from a belt would keep me secure during those moments. My second reason for joining the site is to find both encouragement and accountability, which are currently missing in my life. There isn't anyone close to me who understands or shares my interest in purity; all my male friends assume I should be having sex whenever possible. Many of them don't even realize I am still a virgin. As you know, practicing chastity is hard work, so finding a community that offers support and answers to emerging issues would be wonderful. I also need accountability regarding my purity. My goal is to break the habit of masturbation, but because it is often a secret pleasure, no one else can tell if I am doing it or not. It differs from smoking, which is visible; people see you smoke and know your status immediately. If someone were to ask me specific questions regularly about whether I touched myself, how my thoughts were going, and if I had stimulated at all (let alone reached orgasm), I believe I would stick more strictly to the schedule and achieve my goals better. I will keep an eye on the site's content to ensure it doesn't work against what I need. Even though a chastity device might increase stimulation slightly and remind me of what I'm missing, I feel it provides that extra shield I currently lack during the hardest times.

Thank you, Mike. I was hoping you would join in! Paul definitely needs a male perspective on this matter, something that I wasn't quite able to provide! I must admit, I had been wondering if the photos and Journals were creating too much stimulus, so it is good that you raised that point as well!

> mikecb said: > ...as you read the goings-on in the community, it basically will serve as erotica for you. Again, it's a temptation you may have been trying to avoid. So, while most of us will be supportive of your wishes, our community may be providing a lot of stimulus you'd rather not see. > Click to expand... You're right there. For one thing, paulp123, you can turn off avatars and any images contained in posts. Go to Your Options, scroll down the page, untick Show Images and/or Show Avatars, then press save changes at the bottom of the page. Though that won't stop the stimulus from normal text. And if you find yourself wandering into the Galleries and photos I'm sure Mistress Watchful could get Pet or Admin to limit your access to those areas. > paulp123 said: > ...During the day when I'm busy, things are fine and I don't think I'll wear a chastity device then or need this sites help. > But at night, when I'm alone, going to sleep after a frustrating time being abstinent that's when I am usually tempted to touch myself and when I thought a chastity device would be beneficial for me, when my own willpower is too weak to stop me. It was then that I would have the added protection afforded by a chastity belt to keep me safe. > Click to expand... The one thing I will say is have you thought about nocturnal erections? Things are not so bad for me now, But things were a different matter when I started wearing my CB6000s (might be different for different devices but I've only used the cb6000s). If you plan to sleep in a device you will most likely find to start with you will be woken up by your nocturnal erections, which I can see leading you more to thinking about your nether regions as mikecb talks about getting used to them. > paulp123 said: > The second reason I am joining the site is to both hopefully find some encouragement in my efforts and some accountability I currently lack. There is no one in my life that I can discuss my interest in being pure with as all my guy friends just assume I should be having sex all the time whenever possible. A lot of them don't even know I'm a virgin. Practicing chastity as you know is difficult so finally finding a place where I can get some encouragement to do this and some answers to problems that pop up would be great. > Also, I lack accountability in the area of my purity. I wish to be free of the habit of masterbation but since it is a secret pleasure, there is no way for anyone to know whether I am masturbating or not. It's not like the habit of smoking which is public and people would know you smoke and all. > I feel that if there was someone that would ask me specific questions on a regular basis about my touching myself, my thought life and if I had stimulated myself at all, let alone to the point of orgasm, I would keep to a much more strict schedule and be able to better attain my goals. > I will be careful of the material on this site if it begins to work at cross purposes to my needs and though I may find the use of a chastity device sometimes more stimulating and a reminder of what I am missing, I think it will provide the extra layer of protection I am now lacking during the toughest times. > Thanks again, > Paul > Click to expand... I understand about what you mean that you find it hard to talk about these things in Ummm public is the wrong word, but with close friends. Have you got any close girl friends you might beable to confide in?