Personal ads - Looking for a keyholder or sub? discussion

Since I’ve struggled for years to locate a suitable Domme, I’ve turned to several professional women and guided them into that role specifically for me. It went so well that more than one has kept up her career as a Domme.

My suggestion is to take it easy at first—skip the whips initially and avoid anything too intense until they realize how straightforward and satisfying it can be for them.

If this old fool can manage it, anyone else certainly can.

You don’t come across as foolish at all. I’ve “converted” quite a few vanillas myself. Your point is spot on. I’d add: avoid being creepy. Keep it enjoyable and remember that newbies are experiencing everything for the first time, so we old timers need to recall what that felt like. We also have to keep in mind that our kinks developed gradually over time. What seemed wild when we were newcomers feels mild now. So with vanilla partners, use the drug pusher method: offer a small sample and make them crave more. Encourage them to ask for it so they believe it’s their own idea. Once they’re hooked, they’ll no longer want to be vanilla and will start taking charge. I’d also emphasize always centering respect on helping them explore and try new things at their own pace.

I clearly recall when I first joined this site. I wasn’t completely vanilla, but close to it. I discussed with some members how I didn’t care for impact play and couldn’t picture myself enjoying hitting someone. As you can see from my profile photo, that shifted pretty quickly, and I ended up serving as the impact specialist at a Glasgow dungeon for a time. Although I’m out of practice now, there’s still a thrill when I bring out my tools—from my first gentle suede flogger to the much more intense whips that are my favorites these days. Thanks to @lockit, I had an absolute blast learning about these things and how to use them safely. It’s remarkable how fast progress happens once you’re introduced to something new.

I’ve been with my current Mistress for nearly nine years. She wasn’t a Domme when we met; honestly, no, she isn’t quite as skilled professionally as some I’ve known before. But she is local, available, enthusiastic, and willing to learn...she has sought out other D/s clients, but truthfully, finding men who will actually pay rather than just talk about it is a real task—at least that’s what she tells me. She feels many men who want submission expect the woman to do it for free. Well yeah, I’d like that too, now back to reality. If you go years without finding a 'For Free Domme,' maybe you should consider going professional. You only live once, guys; there is no turning back.