Journals and blogs discussion

I really wanted to share this as a blog post, but since I couldn’t locate the blogging feature here, I decided The Vault was the perfect spot for my thread about personal experiences.

It’s been ages since I dived into the chastity fantasy. For some time now, I’ve migrated toward sites that focus on related-but-different kinks—things I find more intense and which trigger stronger fantasies in me.

But really, those are just fantasies. The reality is: when I’m single and it’s been a while since my last sexual encounter, my desires become increasingly kinky. However, once I settle into a relationship with regular sex, vanilla (or mostly-vanilla) intimacy makes me quite happy.

That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy exploring some of my BDSM dreams. It seems the chance has arrived, at least for now. I’ve recently met a woman whom I’ll call “A” or “my lady” to keep her identity private. We share several kinks, and many others we don’t have in common are still things we’re willing to do for each other’s enjoyment. I’m a 29-year-old male switch; she is a 33-year-old non-submissive bottom. She has a complex personality, and I am thoroughly enjoying learning about what turns her on and off while sharing my own preferences.

As we discussed various kinks, chastity came up. She mentioned that enforcing it could be great fun for both of us. As you might guess, this… resonated deeply with me.;)

Anyway, it looks like we’ll be engaging in various BDSM activities over the coming weeks, and chastity is just one part of that. The chance to explore this in real life has drawn me back to the community here. I plan to post about my experiences related to chastity, but will leave out many other details not central to that theme.

We’ll likely start with short scenes lasting only a few hours (especially since wearing a device longer than that causes significant pain), so it might seem a bit simple for lifestyle practitioners and advanced fetishists. I make no apologies for this approach—we are exploring in a way that suits us, and I hope it proves interesting and useful for those who haven’t had the chance to live out this fantasy or, like me, are just beginning.

The Vault is essentially our euphemism for a Blog here. Well done on choosing it.

Not as perfectly executed as you might think—I looked around and decided The Foyer was the best spot initially. I posted there, but immediately upon finishing noticed The Vault instead!:D

**Disaster strikes! -and- Choosing a new device.** My lady and I mostly chat online these days, occasionally by phone. We have met in person, but logistics make it difficult for us to be at the same place simultaneously, so IM, webcams, and telephones help bridge the gap until other options become available. I mentioned during a chat that I own a CB2K device, though I don't use it often because: 1) I find it less interesting when using it alone without a partner; and 2) I can only wear it for a few hours before experiencing pain in the skin behind my scrotum. She was intrigued and had questions about the device's nature, how well it functions, what kind of stimulation she might provide through it during teasing sessions, etc. The next evening, she asked if I planned to use that night, and honestly, I told her no. However, after logging off, my heart changed. I decided to lock myself up anyway. That night, I wore the CB2K for about six hours, tossing and turning with little sleep. Several times during the night, I felt a strange popping sound from the belt. At the time, I didn't think much of it, but upon removal, it became clear that the device is starting to come apart. I suspect its age has caused the plastic or connections in the cage (does anyone know if it's one piece or assembled?) to become brittle and start snapping open. Normally, there are seven connection points between the back ring and the middle ring of the cage section—six bars plus a point at the bottom where the two rings meet. Inspecting mine closely, I found that five of the bars had snapped or pulled out (depending on how it's assembled), leaving only one short side bar and the contact point holding everything together. I want to clarify that I don't blame the device itself—it's simply aging and wearing out rather than being poorly made. After several years, the plastic has just given up. It looks like it might still be usable for a short while before failing completely, though I worry it could break next time I try putting it on. I usually struggle slightly with aligning the guide pins, and if they don't line up correctly, forcing the cage on might exceed what the remaining two points can handle—and I'm almost certain that sleeping in it will be its final moment. My lady says she likes the idea of a break happening during play as ample reason to punish me, so I haven't tried reapplying it yet. I'll save trying again until my lady and I are playing together physically. With the CB2K now in critical condition, I decided time had come for a new device. Being not well-endowed, I wanted a shorter cage—same length as or shorter than the CB2K. This ruled out the CB3K and standard CB6K, leaving only the CB2K (old) and the CB6KS. I considered the Birdlocked Mini but decided against flexible silicone—I prefer hard plastic! I asked my lady to help decide between the CB2K and CB6KS. She had wonderful ideas for teasing me with paintbrushes or her tongue through the bars of the CB2K, so I presented it this way: the CB2K offers better teasability and is cheaper due to closeouts; however, the CB6KS has a formed cage rather than bars, offering superior security. I believe it will also be easier to put on and more comfortable for longer wear. Faced with this choice, she advised me to prioritize security since there are other ways she can tease me regardless of bar configuration. Thus, the decision is made: I'll acquire a CB6KS for our playtime.

Welcome! I had a similar issue with one of the bars on my cb2k and fixed it using epoxy. But yes, if multiple are failing, swapping it out is the right move. I was actually about to suggest exactly what you chose: the cb6ks. Best of luck!:-) mikecb

If you don't mind a question...what exactly is a non-submissive bottom?

mikecb, thank you for the thought. I did consider using adhesive to repair the cage but decided against it because I'm concerned that spot might not be strong enough afterwards. Even if it held, I figure the bars would just break elsewhere instead.;) chastityslavejohn, a non-submissive bottom is someone who enjoys having things done to them by a top but doesn't wish to surrender freely. Instead, the bottom can be persuaded into actions they may or may not truly want via seduction, bargaining, threats, punishment, and similar tactics. This places emphasis on the psychology of the scene and how participants interact, incorporating conflict much like any good story's plot.

**My Idea List** I created a list of things I'd like to try in chastity play with my lady and emailed it to her. I clarified that this was intended as a source of inspiration for her rather than a checklist of demands. Really, what matters most is that she enjoys the experience. My intention is for her to pick items from the list that sound fun or add her own ideas. We are approaching this as a negotiated BDSM scene, but I don't want rigid negotiations about every detail in typical scenes; it will be more enjoyable if some elements remain surprising. So, the list also serves as pre-negotiation—anything on the list is acceptable during play without prior discussion. Here’s part of what I wrote to her (slightly edited): **These work well even if I'm not in chastity.** Depending on circumstances, you could order me not to touch myself or to touch but not cum. You could... - Order me to masturbate (possibly following your directions) without climaxing. - Perform sex acts (defined here as handjob, blowjob, or PIV intercourse) upon me... - ...briefly and teasingly. - ...at length but stop JUST before I reach the point of no return. - ...at length but stop JUST as I begin to cum. - ...and continue even when I tell you I'm close. If (when) I cum anyway, you punish me for my lack of control (possibly using this as an excuse to put me in the device). - ...poorly, serving primarily as a tease. - Order me to fuck you without cumming (this differs from "perform sex acts" mainly because you are ordering me into an active role rather than passive reception). - Make me beg (to/not) for orgasm. (Especially effective if you bring me close first and then make me beg not to, or make me beg to and then deny.) - Make me beg you (to/not) put me back in chastity. - Finally grant an orgasm (after LOTS of teasing), but not the way I expected (e.g., handjob instead of blowjob/sex; masturbation instead of sexual contact with you). - Offer an orgasm only under specific conditions (e.g., completion via blowjob only if I agree to snowballing; or masturbatory climax only if I cum on a specific part of your body and then lick clean). - Immediately place me back in chastity following the orgasm. **These work well when I am locked.** You could... - Tease me verbally... - ...about how much you want to fuck me, but my device prevents it. - ...about losing the key or easily doing so if I misbehave. - ...about keeping me shut for long periods. - Physically tease through the bars of the chastity (like your paintbrush and tongue ideas). - Give the cage a blowjob. (With a more enclosed cage like my new one, warmth gets through but moisture and physical contact do not fully penetrate, creating significant frustration.) - Make me beg (to/not) for release from the device. - Set specific criteria for my release. Upon meeting them, you could let me out, change rules, or simply change your mind. Some people love systems of points/demerits to earn release. That isn't entirely my cup of tea [that I know], but if it sounds fun to you, try it. A simpler example is orgasm ratios—you get X orgasms before I get one.) - Order me to fuck you with a strap-on. **These work well either way.** Again, whether or not I'm in chastity depends on your preference regarding touching/cumming orders. You could... - Tie me up. - Cuddle and caress my body, kissing me and whispering arousing words in my ear. - ...If unlocked, carefully avoid touching my penis. - ...If locked, touch and caress the cage to draw attention to my frustration. - Order me to watch you masturbate. - Order me to worship your body. - Order me to eat you out while you straddle my face. - Command that I make you cum. - Make you cum without a vibrator. - Make you cum without touching your clit. - Make you cum within a set timeframe. - Straddle my torso and dangle breasts in front of my face... - ...to tease me. - ...and command that I do whatever you like to them with hands/mouth. - Make me beg permission for pretty much anything else on this list. I wrapped up the list with thoughts on preferred positions, scene ideas (many crafted to include both our kinks), and limitations. The most relevant suggestion was: - Extended orgasm control play without a device. You give orders regarding when/whether I cum over a negotiated period even while apart (perhaps days?). This covers ordering me not to cum AND ordering me TO cum, plus whether self-touch is allowed (even if denied climax). We discussed my list today. She was interested in most of it and willing to negotiate items she isn't immediately keen on if I really want them tried. She also noted that due to her kink orientation, pleasure from some activities might be non-sexual for her. It will be interesting to see how this affects her interest. Currently, I've refrained from climaxing for the past three days (voluntarily; having had too many recently left me feeling drained, so I wanted to recharge). Now I'm considering suggesting we start with extended device-free play since I already have a head start on arousal without cumming.;)

> PeterInCA said: > a non-submissive bottom is someone who likes to have things done to them by a top, but who does not wish to surrender freely. Instead, the bottom can be persuaded to do things that he or she may or may not actually want to do, via seduction, bargaining, threats, punishment, and similar tactics. This places some emphasis on the psychology of the scene and how participants interact, incorporating conflict like any good story. > Click to expand... I'm loving this! It explains so many people who claim to be submissive online... you're right; they should really use the term bottom instead. I will definitely come back later to read this Journal thoroughly. I can't believe I missed it earlier!

Glad you're enjoying my blog posts, Mistress Watchful, though I fear a few days may pass before another interesting update arrives. My lady and I have put things on hold for now. Ah well. In the meantime, I can focus on other matters...

> PeterInCA said: > a non-submissive bottom is someone who likes to have things done to them by a top, but who does not wish to surrender freely. Instead, the bottom can be persuaded to do things that he or she may or may not actually want to do, via seduction, bargaining, threats, punishment, and similar tactics. This places some emphasis on the psychology of the scene and how participants interact, incorporating conflict like any good story. > Click to expand... I'm loving this! It explains so many people who claim to be submissive online... you're right; they should really use the term bottom instead. I will definitely come back later to read this Journal thoroughly. I can't believe I missed it earlier!

Congratulations on the new acquisition. Hopefully it will work well for you, and your body will adjust! mikecb

Welcome to the "s" club, > I have used the restroom several times since I put the device on. I cannot pee standing up (messy!), and even when I sit down I tend to wind up with a little bit of urine splashing my testicles. As I mentioned, I'm short (even for this device), so the head of my penis is generally in the shaft portion of the device when I am flaccid, which makes it difficult or impossible to be lined up with the hole. The inside of the cage portion of the device tends to get splashed a LOT with urine when I pee. As a result, I have to wipe quite a bit afterward -- a little bit on my testicles and a lot at a rather awkward angle inside the cage. Q-Tips (wrapped with toilet paper) are also useful for this. > Click to expand... I have found out that if I press the cage back into my body the and I'm well lubed, the head pops into the end of the cage and if you get good you could actually stand up and go. But, the dribbles afterward need to be wiped out as you state with a Q-tip or folding TP and inserting in the end slot, then press the cage back into the body and the TP will meet the meat and dab it dry. The lube thing is the thing you need to get right too much is messy, and not enough you get stuck. I used to use expensive silicone lube but have changed to baby oil gel and that works great and is cheaper. I've found the that the "s" is more comfortable than the 6000 I had on for 7 months.

Thanks for the well wishes, mikecb. Hopefully I will adjust quickly.:) lockedinNWA, thanks for the tips. I had noticed that I can manipulate where I fall in the device by pressing it against my body, but hadn't thought to try this for going to the bathroom. I might give it a shot, although I really don't mind so much sitting to pee anyway. I did experience "too much lube" last night and wound up wiping periodically with Kleenex as it leaked out. Guess I'll use a little less next time.:D The instructions specify silicon lube (though I'm guessing that's a typo and they mean silicone), but I used what I had on hand, water-based KY jelly. Hopefully that won't be a problem...

**CB6KS update...** Sleeping in the CB6KS was not a problem (yay! -- I slept only fitfully in the CB2K), but the pants I put on this morning are a bit too tight to wear it comfortably. I will probably go change soon. O_o

> The instructions specify silicon lube (though I'm guessing that's a typo and they mean silicone), but I used what I had on hand, water-based KY jelly. Hopefully that won't be a problem... > Click to expand... I read and believed the same thing about silicone oil, but baby oil gel works great and is cheap and lasts about as long. I think $3.00 for a 20 oz bottle as to $10.00 for a 2oz bottle. As for Ky type jelly I've found out that it will dry up before you want it to then, you're stuck to it. > although I really don't mind so much sitting to pee anyway. > Click to expand... Well, it works there too, with just a little clean up, but the Women folk in the house like it when we sit too.:rules:PUT THE SEAT DOWN!!! I also noticed your avatar picture, that hair around the top gotta go. I was driving my truck down the freeway when one got pinched, darn near wrecked!!

KY does need to be reapplied fairly often, although since it's water-based, you can get away with just reviving what's dried out by adding just a little bit of water. It'll do for now; perhaps when it runs out I'll upgrade to something longer-lasting. No womenfolk in my house to worry about, but I always put the seat AND the lid down -- I grew up with pets in the house, and you don't want them drinking from the bowl (for the larger ones) or falling in (for the smaller ones). It just became habit, and I've done it that way ever since. As for the hair, I already started trimming it short with scissors. I'll probably shave it a bit fairly soon, but I'm hesitant to do so because my prior experience with shaving in that area was less than ideal -- I was very itchy and wound up with pimples and ingrown hairs in the area I had shaved. I'm told that's normal the first time and goes away as you keep up with it, but it's not an experience I look forward to repeating. On the other hand, I do LOVE the increased sensation I had when the hair was gone, so perhaps it's worth it after all. We shall see.

**Developments With My Lady** My lady and I took a break about nine days ago, as she was feeling a bit overwhelmed. We are starting to reconnect again, although it looks like logistical problems may prevent us from playing in person. I had been just about to suggest that we start playing with extended device-free chastity play when she told me she was feeling overwhelmed -- I'm glad I didn't email her before she emailed me. In any case, we spoke last night, I told her I'd received the CB-6000S, and today when we chatted a bit on IM we discussed it a little more. She asked if I was still in it (I was), and seemed pleased to hear that I can remain in it comfortably for longer than the CB2K. She teased me about the fact that she masturbated when she woke up and that I can't -- which was a nice comment to hear, although I was in the device purely voluntarily and not at her request. I told her that I intended to wear the device until 2:30 in the afternoon, 24 hours after I put it on, then take it off and masturbate. I followed that up with an invitation to play: "Unless, that is, you have something to say about it." I then noted that my last orgasm was Monday night/Tuesday morning at about 4 AM, so I'd been without for about 30 hours at that point. My lady told me she did have something to say about it -- she said to masturbate for 15-20 minutes and then put it back on! I asked if I was allowed to cum during that time, and she told me no, she thinks I should wait a few days. She wants me to masturbate a little bit longer every day, but not to have an orgasm until the fourth day (which will be Saturday). She then teased me a little bit, telling me that she might give me something stimulating to look at on the webcam in a day or two, and gave me an assignment to come up with something for her to do to herself on or off camera that would get me frustratingly excited. That should be interesting.:) As a chastity top, she wants to use her preference for being a bottom against me by having me top her while I'm caged.:D I will, of course, comply, directing her to do something that will get me hard and frustrated in my cage... Beyond that, I turned the conversation around and started talking about her excitement and pushing her buttons. I love both teasing her and being teased by her. It's a fun and interesting relationship, to say the least.:) As for me, it's coming up on 2:30, so I'll be unlocking myself shortly for a brief masturbation session with no orgasm, per my lady's wishes.

**The Rest of the Story...** When I last wrote, almost two weeks prior, I had been voluntarily locked up for nearly a full day right after getting my new CB6KS. I asked my lady to decide how long I should stay in, mentioning that I would remove it that afternoon and masturbate if left alone. She told me to keep it on for 15-20 minutes, then replace it without ejaculating, repeating this daily for a few days longer. The device arrived on Tuesday, so by Wednesday at 2:30 after being worn for 24 hours, I took it off and followed her orders, using the full 20 minutes. The following day (Thursday), we chatted via instant messenger, and I asked how long she wanted me to masturbate that day. She "suggested" I DOUBLE the time each day. That meant 40 minutes on Thursday, an hour and twenty minutes on Friday, and a massive two hours and forty minutes on Saturday! I agreed, even though it was a significant commitment -- at least only for a few days. She also asked me to let her know when I started playing on Saturday so she could call me whenever she pleased. When we ended the chat, she called immediately while I was still locked up. We masturbated together over the phone as I chimed in with what I would do if I were there (and out of the cage) topping her, saying things to further arouse her. I remained hard and frustrated throughout but enjoyed it greatly. That night, I did my forty minutes, fantasizing about various scenarios -- teasing her, being teased by her, taking revenge (in ways that both tormented and delighted her), and so forth. On Friday, I texted her before starting play; she had meant Saturday, but I thought notifying her on Friday would only help me, and I was correct.:D That day, my fantasies focused solely on her teasing me -- for the first half via webcam, and during the second half, I added lube (I usually masturbate dry) and imagined how she might tease me in person. She called when I had ten minutes left. She teased me and asked what I was thinking about, and I described it to her. It was tough speaking clearly given the physical sensations, but I managed somehow.:D She reminded me to tell her when I started on Saturday, we discussed timing logistics, and said our goodbyes for the day. Saturday would be a marathon session. Since I had close calls the previous day, I skipped lube to last longer. She was busy but called anyway -- just ONE minute before I finished!:D Speaking was easier this time since the lack of lube kept me slightly further from the edge. I felt more in control of both my orgasm and my voice.:D She spoke briefly, and when it was time, I told her my time was up. She made a vague comment about guessing I would cum soon, so I asked (for clarity) if that granted permission. She confirmed, and I had a fantastic orgasm -- four days' worth in one go. We talked only briefly after that, for less than ten minutes. I noted I wouldn't be putting the cage back on immediately; if we used it again later, I preferred shorter durations (three days or less -- longer periods without the device are fine though) or as punishment, since some soreness had developed where the A ring rubbed. She said she was considering how to reward me for following her instructions and avoiding accidents. We exchanged goodbyes and hung up. Later investigation showed a small patch of scab tissue around one side of my scrotum's edge near the ring. I hadn't noticed any bleeding while wearing it, only soreness, nor did I see blood on the device itself, but something seemed to have irritated me slightly. It wasn't serious and healed quickly, so I'm not overly worried, but I won't start long-term ventures with the CB6KS until I experiment more to determine if this was a fluke or a repeatable issue, and if repeatable, whether I can prevent it (perhaps by applying lube where the ring rubs the skin). Since my lady released me about a week and a half ago, I haven't relocked. We've spoken occasionally since then, sometimes discussing kinky matters and other times daily life. It seems we might play in person after all, perhaps quite soon -- let's see what this week brings. After emerging from chastity, my urge to orgasm felt somewhat unusual. Three times on Saturday, none on Sunday, twice on Monday... I wasn't feeling the urge every day, but sometimes multiple times within a single day. Eventually, I noticed that I only cummed on days when I spoke with my lady; maybe it was coincidence, maybe not. This pattern has held true ever since, except for one orgasm on Friday when I hadn't spoken to her. I mentioned this to her on Sunday, noting that if you count Friday's orgasm against our Sunday chat, the pattern remains unbroken.:D She asked if she should email me more often with instructions to masturbate; I told her it was up to her discretion. I haven't heard from her since.:D I expect she will contact me one way or another tomorrow. And that brings my story current... sorry for the wall of text, hope anyone who made it through enjoyed this account!:)

Peter, it sounds delightful. I have one suggestion. You might check your A-ring where you got the scab; they are notorious for having rough edges. You may need to sand it. Have fun! mikecb