Chastity in vanilla life discussion

I need to ask this question of others, keeping my own thoughts in mind. Within our community here at CM, it seems there are folks who believe you can have Chastity while living a vanilla life. That’s actually the reason we started this forum. Personally, I find that an oxymoron. It’s like claiming you enjoy your vanilla ice cream with a chocolate swirl mixed in. Once you do that, isn’t it no longer purely vanilla? Of course, not everyone is as eccentric as those who love Rocky Road (eww nuts). But still, you’ve moved away from pure vanilla. We all exist somewhere on the flavor spectrum. What are your thoughts?

I guess that depends on each person's individual perspective and experience. I have friends (both guys and girls) who wouldn't even know what a 'cock cage' or 'male chastity device' is.

I hear you. I’ve noticed some people complaining about their vanilla wives who practice chastity and dabble in bondage, but because they don’t get used with a strap on or dress up, it somehow still counts as vanilla for them. I suppose the definition of 'vanilla' depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re standing.

> PouchPantyLover said: > I have to ask this question of others knowing my own thoughts on the subject. There seems to be within the CM community people that that think there is Chastity in a vanilla life. That is why this forum was created. To me this is an oxymoron. It's like saying I like my vanilla with a chocolate swirl. At that point it's no longer vanilla. Sure you're not all crazy like those Rocky Road lovers (eww nuts). Still you're no longer vanilla. We're all on the flavor spectrum somewhere. thoughts? > Click to expand... I enjoy nuts.

Well, I am in a vanilla situation but currently practicing chastity without my wife knowing about it. So... I guess that’s what this sub-forum is mainly for. However, good points taken.

I agree with the spectrum theory. Just like the range from homosexuality to heterosexuality, very few of us live entirely at one end or the other. As we've seen more than once, someone who condemns homosexuality might own a pair of knee pads and expertly practice “lips together, teeth apart.” I’ve also had several lesbian friends who, while happily married to their partner, felt they “just needed a real cock.” Maybe problems tend to go hand in hand with labels. Maybe there are simply too many ways to live for any single label to be entirely accurate. In my life, I have been topped by wonderful men, women, and trans folk. I’ve pleasured them orally and they have taken me anally. I have served each of them gladly and without fear. Now I am in a heterosexual FLR, tightly locked in chastity, and I regularly receive discipline from both my wife and Miss Rommely here in Minneapolis. I go to church. I volunteer. So how do you create a label that covers all of this? Now, what if the only thing people knew about me was that I attend church? Vanilla? What if my church is known for welcoming LGBTQ members? Still vanilla? What if you knew that I regularly socialized with a subset of this specific church community? Vanilla? Suspect there might be beginnings of that chocolate swirl. And what if you learned that several of us meet monthly at a rented dungeon for BDSM FUN? What label then? I guess the point I’m trying to make is that each of us is a unique symphony of characteristics that, when viewed in their totality, cannot be adequately labeled by just one word. Are some of us who practice chastity purely vanilla? Probably, but I bet the number is low. Are any of us entirely bent and twisted kinksters doomed to burn in hell forever? Probably. If you are one of these people on the fast track to meet the Devil, please introduce yourself. I’m sure several of us would like to meet you and share the ride. The rest of us exist somewhere in the middle, and many of us don’t know where we belong. The struggle among conscience, societal influence, and the host of forces that tell us how we should be rages on. If you don’t believe me, reach into that bag of sexual secrets you are terrified to share with anyone. If you insist your bag is empty, I do have one of two labels for you: “liar” or “free”. Jamie