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I’ve been pretty relentless. She’s mentioned multiple times that she wants to hold the key, but there is a persistent hesitation. I’m not entirely sure what exactly causes her doubt.

So I decided to live on the edge a bit. I send her forum posts and other links several times a week, which usually go unanswered. I bought her some books that remain unread, which is frustrating. So I sent a photo of her rear as a reply, telling her I would keep sending nude pictures if she continues to ignore me. She is quite shy, and since I don’t have any nudes yet, she knows I will need to collect them. She threatened to lock me up, so I replied that it was the only way to prevent my mischief.

Then I sent her a link to a story on Literotica explaining why I would even want to be locked. Once she read it, I emailed her saying sometimes women think the chastity kink means their man is dissatisfied with them. I explained that for me, I wouldn’t give up this much to someone I don’t love and trust completely. “You are my world, and I want to turn that emotional reality into a physical one.” And I self-locked, telling her I was locked again. Her reply was simply, “Good!”

When I saw her after work, she looked radiant! I believe my message caused this.

So I placed the key in her phone case, which seems to be where she prefers it. Her case is clear, and she often leaves the phone face down on tables, so the key shows when she does that. The key has “BDSM” engraved on it, so anyone looking closely can likely guess its significance. I’m not sure if she knows this. I think she probably does, but I choose to say nothing because I suspect she likes displaying it but might feel compelled to hide it if I point it out. Maybe it’s a mistake; I don’t know. Anyway, we were at a karaoke party with her friends last night, and the phone displayed the key for a long time. As far as I could tell, nobody noticed.

So perhaps we’ve turned a corner. Or maybe it’s just a small step. Time will tell. a7PRBGU

A couple related links: A forum post I sent with the email title "This" The referenced community page The Literotica story A picture of her phone

Good luck. Sending pictures and memes along with my comments is something we also do so she can get used to having me in her thoughts.

Well, I learned a long time ago that my perception of things going well and my wife's perception are two totally different things. I think you might be walking through a minefield without knowing it yet. I really hope things are as you say and you guys are moving in the right direction; I truly do. Nothing makes me happier than hearing a successful story about a couple who make it to the promised land of male chastity and an FLR. Just take it slow and talk to her. You don't need a life-changing discussion every time, just get a feel for her feelings and wants. When I read your post, I see: I have been relentless; I’m living dangerously; I understand what you're doing and why you are doing it; that's because I have a Dick attached to my body. I'm assuming your wife does not have one, so she processes things like a girl. Sometimes they don't make the same connection we do. Don’t let me bring you down; I’m truly happy for you guys. Just remember the safe bet is always to go slow and talk to each other.

I've been locked for nearly a week now. It's easier than last time. In previous times, I was aroused almost constantly, but now it all seems more normal, and my desperate arousal has receded in frequency. I wonder if this cage thing can even work long term for me if the KH doesn't actively tease me. Up to yesterday, she still hadn't teased me. She hadn't sent any naughty emails or threatened me with delicious "KH says" dares. She had never touched the cage while it was on my body. I don't know how anyone self-locks because interaction with her is the only reason this kink draws me in. I get off on her having power over me, not just being locked up myself. But what if she never comes around and uses that power? If she never uses it, does she even have it? I can't pretend forever that she owns me. How much longer can I wait for her to join the play? Well, last night, for the very first time, she reached into my pants and fondled my caged penis. It was simple and brief, but she did it. I've literally been waiting 6 months for this to happen, and I hope I don't have to wait too long for more. My desire is for her to enjoy it more than me. For real. I want her to be in total control, and even more, I want her to take joy in making me desperately horny to the level of obsession with her. I want her to try to break me. Maybe I even want to be broken? She hadn't taken this step before. I thought either she found the whole thing too weird or was frozen by indecision, not knowing if I really wanted her to do this. Of course, I've been desperate for her attention, but maybe she didn't know exactly how? I don't know what changed, but it's a breakthrough. Being caged does sort of reset sexual interaction into virgin mode. Suddenly I can no longer take ejaculation for granted. I need permission! To date, she has never denied me. Actually, she seems worried that I may get hurt and always gives me the key before I ask for it. Hopefully this will change. The whole point is that she exercises some control over me. So anyway, we've been at this off and on for about 6 months, and this was the first time she interacted with the cage. I count this as a big step. I'm elated that she has crossed that bridge, and I hope she does it more frequently, driving me insane with lust. I hope she makes me beg for release. I hope she finds Joy in making me desperate for her touch.

> tecolote said: > My desire is for her to enjoy it more than me. For real. I want her to be in total control, and even more, I want her to take joy in making me desperately horny to the level of obsession with her. I want her to try to break me. Maybe I even want to be broken? > Click to expand... > tecolote said: > To date, she has never denied me. Actually, she seems worried that I may get hurt, and has always given me the key before I ask for it. Hopefully this will change. The whole point is that she exercise some control over me. > Click to expand... It will be a long time, if ever, before she enjoys it more than you. You're going to need to get her comfortable with safety and health, and with her own dominance before she'll take control. Good luck.

So I had a couple days where I was questioning the whole thing. Do I really want to do this? My wife hasn't paid any further attention to the cage, and I was having comfort issues, generally feeling doubt about the path. Then on Sunday, we attended an event with my kid and their friend where I thought there might be a metal detector present, so I removed the cage prior to going. When we returned home, the wife made no mention of putting it back on, so I just let it be. That night, I masturbated. The next evening, she asked me why I wasn't wearing it. "Do you want me to put it on?" "Yes." So I put it on and gave her the key. I wonder if she knows what I did the previous night while I thought she was sleeping. So maybe she's more on board than I am at the moment? Her asking me to put it on cleared up some of my doubts, but I still don't know how much I can do without her taking a more active role.

Last night, my wife told me that she had a dream from the previous night where she caught me wanking and was "so mad". I'm taking it as a sign that she either actually saw me or is lurking in this thread. Either way, I got the message loud and clear!

Are you putting too much deal on being locked? It could be making her think your more into that than her especially if you are masturbating in secret; it would be building a lot of mistrust. Just another view on it I guess. Have you told her there is a chics forum here where us keyholders can actually chat and express how we feel? It could help her not feel so alone in such a dramatic life change.

I've shown her the forum, but she has been aloof about it. I should probably show her again. When I originally showed her the forum, I didn't realize that site visitors had to have a login to be able to read the Keyholders forum, so if she looked for it, I'm not sure what she would have seen.

Yeah it's for verified females so it's more comfortable to talk:) verification is easy so she doesn't have to be as daunted as I was to start lol

> Rectrix said: > It will be a long time, if ever, before she enjoys it more than you. You're going to need to get her comfortable with safety and health, and with her own dominance before she'll take control. Good luck. > Click to expand... "On board" is not a narrowly defined phrase. I think that she is on board, but moving more cautiously than me. And I agree that it may take some time before she takes any control. She is certainly open to the idea. I think that she is unsure how to proceed and unsure of how our roles may change as a result. I think this is good because changing too quickly will probably result in someone being unhappy or stressed over the change. All that said, I'm kinda eager to throw caution to the wind and get owned. I wrote her a huge email. Then I realized it was too much so I edited a lot out. The gist was that I wanted to thank her for playing the "silly little game" and hoped she would be happier with the game than me. I explained that I knew it was weird and crazy to think this way, but I honestly hope that she pushes me until I feel horny desperation and even some regret for offering her so much power over me. I closed by saying, "I want you to own me for real. I want you to test me to see just how far I'm willing to go to do whatever (her name) says." Her response was "I do own you for real" followed by several emoji and Papi loco. I've been locked 15 out of the last 16 days at her request. The only unlocked day was my idea because I was afraid of metal detectors at a kids event. I re-locked at her request. So I think she's on board. I don't know how to gently push her towards teasing me. I can't do it if I'm locked and ignored, though perhaps that's okay. But I also can't feed her ideas for how she might get into my mind; it just doesn't work like that. I need patience.

"I need patience". And SLOW DOWN! Girls process this stuff very differently to guys. They don't "not notice" things that you say or do, but they need time to think about it and understand it. So if you've told her once, don't tell her again; when she's ready she'll go with your suggestions. "Relentless" isn't the best way to forge a new relationship because it implies stress and pressure. Chill and enjoy the ride. Being in chastity is essentially a submissive act so play the role. If she's being a little slow, look at it as both giving her time and space to come to terms with and understand it, and also as a test of your obedience. What she wants is what's important, not what you want, so wait until she's ready. If she doesn't give immediate feedback then just wait. If she dislikes something she'll likely say so, but if you keep forcing the pace you'll end up topping from the bottom and she won't know who's supposed to be in charge. She is. So don't do it for her. The other thing you should really take on board is "what's in it for her"? It takes time, but you have to give her love and do stuff for her showing practically that by denying you sex she causes you to want to please her more; she gets the benefits both sexual and non-sexual. You can do chastity as a purely selfish thing or approach it completely from the opposite point of view: "How can I make this benefit her?" Guess which way needs more patience and time, and works best? Don't get me wrong you're doing good; it sounds like she's going to go with the flow. But let her warm into it gently at her pace not yours.

> bondinchas said: > Being in chastity is essentially a submissive act so play the role if she's being a little slow then look at it as both giving her time and space to come to terms with and understand it also look at it as test of your obedience what she wants is important not you want so wait until ready If doesn't give immediate feedback just wait. > Click to expand... This advice bears repeating over and over. There are at least two active threads on this subject and numerous other discussions. One ended with one of the mantras I repeat to myself: Patience is part of the Denial.

I remember years ago when I first saw a cage how I thought of a grand scheme and plan for everything. I envisioned set time locked, schedule for release minimum amount playtime touching even maximum before able do myself partner wasn’t mood Oh my how little knew about realities both chastity women into it. This was all having partner crime so speculation theory Reality fairly easy have partner agree kh but her idea holding key didn’t resemble mine She didn’t like schedules min max guaranteed anything emergency keys want be warden. Luckily read lot people’s personal experiences before doing learned not pressure make about me good rule thumb...1 stays on until wants off 2 you mention desires mentioned something twice haven’t gotten response don’t talk she brings up Your cage burden complain unless medically wrong needs aware Good luck relax trust knows needs loves enough keep yours mind.

"Genius is eternal patience" - Michaelangelo I feel like one of the kids touring the chocolate factory. I know I should wait, but when you have a piece of uncomfortable steel hanging off your genitals time seems to run more slowly and definition of patience and eternal get bit muddy. I know you all right also it will difficult follow good advice especially trouble with Nicoftimes rule thumb #2 "You can mention desires if mentioned something twice haven’t gotten response don’t talk she brings up." It's so not fair!

I think I mentioned somewhere above that we are trying to have baby so expected be released soon when gets positive ovulating test result.... "I don't think I'm ovulating this month" Not even sure if she screwing me or not She notoriously bad liar didn’t detect any subterfuge probably legit Think might looking as long another month locked up.

Things have been quiet regarding my chastity setup. We were in the middle of moving and setting up a new house, so it was kind of on the back burner, yet still present in my thoughts. Five days ago, I sent her this email: *Alright, since you haven't looked at the books I gave you, I'm going to write a brief note explaining how chastity is "supposed" to function. I really didn't want to have to spell it out myself, but you've been stubborn about those books, and I feel like if I don't say it now, you'll never hear me. Don't rely solely on my judgment; I have ulterior motives. If you want more details, dig up the books or maybe look online (but beware of some weirdos out there). Here goes.... I certainly have my own ideas, but ultimately, you set the rules. Even if you choose to ignore all my suggestions, reading my opinion might still be useful... perhaps even just for a chance to mock me. I truly believe that by ignoring these tips, you're missing out on something that could bring us both significant pleasure. Men also have sexual cycles in a way similar to women's. Our cycle affects our mood too. Unlike the female cycle which is more time-dependent, ours isn't driven quite as much by the calendar (or at least not identically). So you can't assume I'm in the same state today as I was last month. However, it is hormone-driven, specifically the hormones released during my orgasm. Once a man orgasms, his mood shifts. Honestly, it makes me less interested in sex and less likely to try seducing you. That's a polite way of saying I'm more prone to being an asshole after ejaculating. Conversely, if enough time has passed, I tend to be sweeter. It seems to take about seven to ten days for the transition from "asshole" mode back to sweet mode happens. Basically, if I get to cum every week, you might rarely see my softer side. Every two weeks? You could experience me being sweet half the time. Once a month or less frequently? Yes, you likely have a consistently gentle partner. At least according to what I've read. So, adding a cage into this equation gives you some leverage. Without one, most men will masturbate and reset their cycle; I know I do. That's why the cage is useful for you. About a week after my last release, I start really craving another one. This doesn't mean I won't cum daily if given the chance, but that desire becomes much stronger after several days. I might claim I "need" to let go. But when caged, I'll do many things for you that I wouldn't normally just to hope you'll unlock me so we can play. This is especially true if I think you're going to engage with me, which works in your favor because it's easier to make me believe this even if it isn't entirely true (I'm revealing a secret here for you to use against me). I want release and playtime, but I also know it might not be good for my control. After seven days of chastity, I am constantly aroused, creating a sort of high fueled by sexual cycles and accumulating hormones (I suspect these build up more slowly as men age). While I do desire to "overdose" on that feeling after release, I realize once it happens, the high fades for over a week. So despite wanting to come out and play, I really need someone wise enough to deny my addictive urge just one more time because I can't stop myself even when I know what will happen! The more turned on I get, the more driven by that desire to be released, and the more willing I am to bend over backward to please you, my keyholder.... Men are simple creatures. As a keyholder, it's very easy to drive me mad. The worst approach is locking me up and ignoring me completely. It benefits us both if you tease me. Spank my backside. Send a naughty text. Grab the cage. Whisper dirty words in my ear. Exercise your power over me (it turns me on!) and make me do things I usually wouldn't. These actions make me happy, but more importantly, they fuel my drive to please you. It's like rewinding time to when I was a horny teenager; my focus shifts entirely to you (and thus whatever object of attention you choose). If you can seduce me into a frenzy, you truly own me (and I'll adore you for it!). But if you lock and ignore, the point of the game is lost. So... Lock me up and start playing with my desires! *​ Her reply: *I go to the cage! Go to CAGE!!!* And here I've stayed ever since. She has been teasing me moderately. Of course, I crave more interaction, but I'm content with what we have. Hopefully, it will deepen over time.

Something seems to have clicked between us. Last night, we cuddled in bed just like we haven't done in years—maybe ever. I was aroused, yet completely content simply lying there with her. It's difficult to describe the sensation, but it felt amazing. Occasionally, events occur that make me feel people underestimate how profound and positive a change chastity can bring. This moment was one of those instances. Of course, other times it feels rather lonely when she isn't engaged (which I tried addressing in my previous email). So far, she seems to have gotten the hang of it somewhat, though I'm unsure if she enjoys it as much as I do. It appears she is enjoying it for now, but there's always a risk that I might be coming across too clingy.

> tecolote said: > Something has clicked between us. Last night we cuddled in bed like we haven’t done it in years, perhaps ever. I was aroused, yet totally content to just lie there with her. It's hard to express the feeling, but it was awesome. > Every once in a while, something happens that makes me feel like people are really under-selling the profound change for the better that can result from chastity. This was one of those moments. > Of course other times, it feels quite lonely when she isn't engaged (which I was trying to address in my email above). So far, it seems to have clicked a little bit for her, though I don't know if she is enjoying it as much as I do. It seems like she is enjoying it so far, but there is always a danger of me being too clingy. > Click to expand... My Wife (KH) and I just started MC about a year ago. My Wife was on board from day 1. She couldn't wait to get my cock in a cage. I'm now caged about 95% of the time now. MC has changed our lives. We now snuggle more, talk more (about everything), she gets more body and foot rubs. And she also has taken control of our orgasms. She has them whenever she want one, either by me or by masturbating in front of me. I get unreal T&D sessions and have the odd ruined orgasm when she feels like I should get one. So far, it's about one every 35 days. Not every day is great. Some days I get a little rub or a pat on the cage, then nothing all day. Those times, I never stop thinking of my Wife and if there is anything I can do to please her enough to get some attention. I asked her if I had done anything wrong. She told me that she does it so it messes with my head. She keeps my horny and ready all the time. She told me, that's how she want me to be for now on. So enjoy the good with the bad...I think the good out weights the bad...Have fun and enjoy...

So I'm about half way through week three. Things are slow. It's normal living. We don't have a lot of play time. Our son will be out of town for a few days on a school trip, so maybe something will happen... I started getting frustrated. Again, I have bee locked and left alone. So over the weekend, I started to grab the key to let myself out. She has it in her phone case. She asked me what I was doing, and I told her that I wanted out, and she refused. This is a milestone. Also, I'm fucked. So I have started writing my fantasies and sending them to her. She picked one detail out of the last one that wasn't even part of the action as much as a thought that she could attach a leash to me and drag me through the neighborhood by the balls if she wanted. Well, that little detail seemed to catch her attention. I'm tired and can't write coherently, but I think we are moving towards something more. Maybe I'll like it. Maybe I'll regret it. Maybe I'll like and regret it.