Introductions discussion

Hello all. I began exploring chastity roughly two years back. Crossdressing has been part of my life since age seven, and during puberty it brought me considerable guilt and hesitation. Interestingly, as I’ve spent more time alone in my preferred feminine persona over the years, those inhibitions have surprisingly faded. This encouraged me to experiment with new activities; given my strong interest in BDSM, chastity felt like a promising direction. True chastity isn’t quite what it is for many here since I’m single and lack a keyholder. Yet, I believe I remain honest because I genuinely dislike experiencing erections, especially when dressed femininely… as that feels rather unpleasant to me. Wearing a device makes me feel better; although it keeps sex on my mind, I seem calmer and more attuned. From where I sit, the benefits are clear. I’m not entirely sure what drew me in—I suspect sissy porn clips and audio hypnosis played a role—but I’ve always had a kinky side. My longest period locked was a month, which isn’t extreme but usually suffices to calm me down because occasionally I feel chastity acts as self-imposed punishment when the male aspect of my mind is being difficult, and I despise that sensation. Typically, I stay locked for about two weeks, enjoy a few days of release, then return to locking up again. The main challenge has been locating something comfortable enough for constant wear without making cleaning too troublesome. I believe there’s some trans identity within me at least, but the label feels incomplete because my femininity fluctuates day by day, so I’m not fully convinced it fits perfectly. Nor do I see myself strictly as a sissy or crossdresser; I am simply who I am. It seems my brain is processing more than meets the eye generally, and feeling less masculine suits me well, so chastity has been incredibly helpful. Choosing “male” felt odd during registration despite being my biological sex; I lean towards girly these days but picking “female” wouldn’t have been accurate, while “other” seemed even stranger. Perhaps “weird alien who loves chastity” fits better. LOL It took me a long time to find a device suitable for extended wear. My initial piece was a CB6000s and the experience wasn’t great. Luckily I’m persistent and tested other options. I realize I’ve probably written too much, which is my habit when joining new communities… perhaps it’s nerves. I just wanted to clarify how my identity connects with chastity and introduce myself. Warm regards, Joanne xxx

Many members here don't have keyholders either. Welcome aboard.